Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,578 --> 00:00:10,054
♪ Goin' down to Tegridy
Farms, gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:10,142 --> 00:00:11,789
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:11,877 --> 00:00:13,592
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,664
The Tegridy Farms
Halloween Special!
5
00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:18,781
♪ There's ample parking
day or night ♪
6
00:00:18,876 --> 00:00:20,765
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, Neighbor" ♪
7
00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:22,329
♪ I'm headin' on down
to Tegridy Farms ♪
8
00:00:22,416 --> 00:00:24,085
♪ Gonna see if
I can't unwind ♪
9
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:30,144
T he Tegridy farms Halloween
Special, brought to you by...
10
00:00:30,256 --> 00:00:31,917
Tegridy Weed.
11
00:00:32,105 --> 00:00:35,902
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 23 Episode 05
Title: "Tegridy Farms Halloween Special"
12
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:40,824
It's the most
wonderful time of the year,
13
00:00:41,137 --> 00:00:43,152
Well?
You all excited, gang?
14
00:00:43,239 --> 00:00:44,902
For Halloween?
I guess so.
15
00:00:44,990 --> 00:00:47,152
This isn't just
any Halloween,
16
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:52,058
because this week, Tegridy Weed
is doing a Halloween Special.
17
00:00:52,516 --> 00:00:53,761
It's a big
promotional thing.
18
00:00:53,849 --> 00:00:55,331
Everyone's gonna
love it.
19
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:56,903
Hey, where's Shelly?
20
00:00:56,991 --> 00:00:59,241
Shelly hasn't come out
of her room in two days.
21
00:00:59,329 --> 00:01:00,574
Why?
22
00:01:00,662 --> 00:01:02,674
You know why, Randy.
23
00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:04,402
Yeah.
24
00:01:04,859 --> 00:01:06,394
Yeah.
25
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:11,580
Hey, Shelly.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
26
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,433
What do you want?
27
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,433
Come on, kiddo.
28
00:01:15,589 --> 00:01:17,808
Come talk with
your old man, huh?
29
00:01:18,106 --> 00:01:19,474
Come on, punk.
30
00:01:21,455 --> 00:01:25,660
Shelly, we need to talk about
your marijuana problem.
31
00:01:26,182 --> 00:01:28,402
You know, what's your
problem with it?
32
00:01:28,685 --> 00:01:30,199
I hate marijuana.
33
00:01:30,308 --> 00:01:32,802
Yes, we all know!
But why?
34
00:01:32,889 --> 00:01:35,042
It stinks, and it makes
everyone in this town
35
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:36,678
dumber than
they already are.
36
00:01:36,814 --> 00:01:39,608
Shelly, the truth is,
some of the most important
37
00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:41,808
people in the world
smoke weed.
38
00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:45,902
Did you know that Snoop Dogg
smokes weed?
39
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,761
Yes. Everyone knows Snoop Dogg
is a stupid pot head.
40
00:01:49,878 --> 00:01:52,988
Way more people enjoy marijuana
than you think, okay?
41
00:01:53,076 --> 00:01:54,277
Okay, who's your idol?
42
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,769
Who do you most look up to
in the whole world?
43
00:01:57,603 --> 00:01:58,949
Serena Williams.
44
00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:00,105
Total stoner.
45
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:02,011
High as a kite
every tennis match.
46
00:02:02,152 --> 00:02:03,667
No she's NOT!
RANDY
47
00:02:03,754 --> 00:02:05,134
You don't know that,
Shelly.
48
00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:06,736
Now you're just
making assumptions.
49
00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:08,589
Everyone in this country
is getting dumber,
50
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:11,053
and I wish marijuana
was illegal again!
51
00:02:11,271 --> 00:02:12,763
Shelly!
52
00:02:13,831 --> 00:02:15,479
Okay, look,
the thing is,
53
00:02:15,566 --> 00:02:17,681
this problem you're having
with marijuana ‐
54
00:02:17,768 --> 00:02:19,683
it's just got to stop, okay.
55
00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:23,052
We're working on our Tegridy
Farms Halloween Special, okay?
56
00:02:23,139 --> 00:02:25,221
Nobody wants a giant bummer
ruining it.
57
00:02:25,308 --> 00:02:26,610
I love you.
58
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,283
Whoa. Very impressive.
59
00:02:37,488 --> 00:02:38,822
Indeed.
60
00:02:43,827 --> 00:02:45,442
Find anything good,
Butters?
61
00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:47,636
One minute, dad.
Archaeologist Butters just needs
62
00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:49,959
to get his stamp and sticker
for his artifact book.
63
00:02:53,637 --> 00:02:56,253
Ha ha!
Another rare find.
64
00:02:58,809 --> 00:03:00,954
Well, did you all enjoy
the museum, gang?
65
00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:02,459
Wait. Wait.
We can't leave yet.
66
00:03:02,546 --> 00:03:04,761
I got all the stickers
and stamps except for one.
67
00:03:04,848 --> 00:03:06,930
Well, I'm pretty sure
we saw the whole exhibit.
68
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,792
Can I just check around
one more time?
69
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,634
Alright,
Archaeologist Butters.
70
00:03:10,721 --> 00:03:12,097
But then meet us back
right here.
71
00:03:12,185 --> 00:03:13,652
Okay!
72
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,939
What you are seeing here
are original knots
73
00:03:17,027 --> 00:03:19,976
which were joining the main
pieces of the kufu boat.
74
00:03:20,063 --> 00:03:21,911
The cedar timbers
of the boat's hull
75
00:03:21,998 --> 00:03:23,713
were lashed together
with hemp rope
76
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,957
in a technique used
until the‐
77
00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:27,327
Whoa. Whoa.
Wait just one second.
78
00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:29,572
Are you actually saying
that hemp,
79
00:03:29,706 --> 00:03:31,821
a classification
of cannabis,
80
00:03:31,908 --> 00:03:35,091
was actually used by
the ancient Egyptians?
81
00:03:35,178 --> 00:03:37,261
Well, yes.
In fact, it's been found
82
00:03:37,348 --> 00:03:39,162
that cannabis was used
by Egyptians
83
00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:40,730
for its medical
properties, as well.
84
00:03:40,817 --> 00:03:42,766
Hold the
freaking phone.
85
00:03:42,853 --> 00:03:46,169
You're telling us that
marijuana has been used
86
00:03:46,256 --> 00:03:47,571
throughout
the centuries...
87
00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:50,238
Is this why
you brought me here?
88
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,509
No, I... I'm just‐
I'm surprised that...
89
00:03:52,596 --> 00:03:56,167
You said you wanted a special
day with just your daughter.
90
00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:59,449
You said a father‐daughter day
at the museum
91
00:03:59,536 --> 00:04:01,269
could help
us connect.
92
00:04:01,705 --> 00:04:04,288
And it is, Shelly.
We're having a great time.
93
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:08,579
I don't care if Egyptians
used stupid pot!
94
00:04:10,847 --> 00:04:12,410
She has a
marijuana problem.
95
00:04:12,498 --> 00:04:14,105
Shelly!
96
00:04:15,085 --> 00:04:17,433
Been there.
Saw that.
97
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,526
Where's that stupid
last sticker‐stamp?
98
00:04:21,392 --> 00:04:22,726
What's this?
99
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,660
Whoa.
100
00:04:27,398 --> 00:04:31,648
Sarcophagus and mummified
remains of Egyptian royalty.
101
00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:34,300
This is it!
My last sticker!
102
00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:37,796
That's the mummy
of Took‐Tan‐ra.
103
00:04:39,016 --> 00:04:41,999
You don't want to put that stamp
in your sticka book.
104
00:04:42,101 --> 00:04:45,956
Nobody puts that stamp
in their sticka book.
105
00:04:46,282 --> 00:04:47,816
But this is
my last one.
106
00:04:47,937 --> 00:04:49,718
It's got a curse on it...
107
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:52,746
ancient love curse
not fit for any child.
108
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:55,089
You can look at the mummy
all you like,
109
00:04:55,177 --> 00:05:00,113
but you don't want that stamp
in ya sticka book.
110
00:05:01,774 --> 00:05:02,910
That's okay.
111
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,480
I'm no ordinary child.
112
00:05:04,568 --> 00:05:07,542
I am
Archaeologist Butters.
113
00:05:09,996 --> 00:05:11,777
Happy Halloween,
mister!
114
00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:15,699
Yeah, for some
of us, maybe.
115
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:22,436
It's just so hard being a parent
sometimes, you know?
116
00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,868
I've tried everything
to get through to my daughter.
117
00:05:24,955 --> 00:05:26,394
I took her to
a laser show.
118
00:05:26,482 --> 00:05:27,886
I played her all of
"Dark Side of the Moon."
119
00:05:27,973 --> 00:05:30,947
But it's like... It's like
there's something in her head
120
00:05:31,035 --> 00:05:32,363
that just doesn't
get it.
121
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:34,411
That's rough, Randy.
I'm sorry.
122
00:05:34,498 --> 00:05:37,113
I just ‐ I have to live my life,
you know?
123
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,949
I can't let her problems with
marijuana drag me down anymore.
124
00:05:41,037 --> 00:05:42,986
No, you're right.
You're totally right.
125
00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:46,924
So, anyway, hey, how's the
Halloween Special coming along?
126
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:49,589
The Halloween Special?
Oh, it's ready.
127
00:05:49,677 --> 00:05:50,857
It's ready?
128
00:05:50,945 --> 00:05:52,886
Yeah.
It's right over here.
129
00:05:54,546 --> 00:05:56,613
Oh, wow!
The Halloween Special!
130
00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:58,149
I'm so excited
to try it!
131
00:05:58,237 --> 00:05:59,775
Yeah, it's basically
a hybrid
132
00:05:59,863 --> 00:06:02,007
of our Tegridy Gold
and Colorado Kush.
133
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,077
Turned out really great,
I think.
134
00:06:05,341 --> 00:06:07,544
Oh, wow.
That is nice.
135
00:06:07,631 --> 00:06:10,414
I'd like to see anyone compete
with this Halloween Special.
136
00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:26,932
Mom?
137
00:06:29,075 --> 00:06:30,441
Dad?
138
00:06:48,546 --> 00:06:49,693
What?
139
00:06:49,781 --> 00:06:51,175
Oh.
140
00:06:51,503 --> 00:06:53,394
Okay. Oh.
141
00:06:53,992 --> 00:06:55,519
Okay.
142
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:58,121
That's okay.
Yeah, that's okay.
143
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,676
There you go.
144
00:07:06,278 --> 00:07:08,199
For‐ For me?
145
00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:10,660
Oh. Thank you.
146
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,566
Oh, wow!
A Fitbit!
147
00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:16,280
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
148
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:18,315
I... I actually
already have a Fitbit,
149
00:07:18,402 --> 00:07:20,644
but I could give this one
to a friend!
150
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,098
I just...
I have one, so...
151
00:07:36,078 --> 00:07:38,933
Furniture polish, paint thinner,
and bleach.
152
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:43,574
Ammonia and antifreeze,
one tablespoon each.
153
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,105
I hate everybody.
154
00:07:45,193 --> 00:07:46,773
I just like to read.
155
00:07:46,914 --> 00:07:50,331
Everyone's stupid.
They smoke too much weed.
156
00:07:50,464 --> 00:07:54,175
So, with this eldrich potion,
and these ancient words,
157
00:07:54,304 --> 00:07:58,342
I make my revenge
upon all the turds.
158
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,487
Butters Scotch?
159
00:08:15,575 --> 00:08:16,621
Yes, sir.
160
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:18,042
We want to ask you
some questions
161
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,212
about what happened
in town last night.
162
00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:22,339
What happened in town?
163
00:08:22,427 --> 00:08:24,975
People were attacked by
an ancient Egyptian mummy.
164
00:08:25,168 --> 00:08:28,042
It killed five people, and
destroyed everything it could.
165
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:30,285
Oh. A mummy, huh?
166
00:08:30,474 --> 00:08:31,839
That's... That's weird.
167
00:08:31,981 --> 00:08:33,896
Oh, you just think
that's weird?
168
00:08:34,044 --> 00:08:36,059
Because The mummy says
you two got in some kind
169
00:08:36,146 --> 00:08:38,246
of altercation
last night.
170
00:08:38,535 --> 00:08:40,800
What?
The mummy talked to you?
171
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:43,471
Is it true, sir,
that you and the mummy...
172
00:08:43,644 --> 00:08:46,158
"got into an argument
over a gift
173
00:08:46,246 --> 00:08:48,964
which you didn't seem
to appreciate"?
174
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,206
There was no argument.
175
00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:52,442
I just said I already had it,
and I'd give it to a friend.
176
00:08:52,529 --> 00:08:54,449
A present that the mummy
got for you?
177
00:08:54,537 --> 00:08:55,910
- I just...
- You can see
178
00:08:55,998 --> 00:08:57,644
how that could
be pretty hurtful?
179
00:08:57,732 --> 00:09:00,748
Did you throw the mummy
out of your house?
180
00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:03,219
No! I didn't throw the mummy
out of the house!
181
00:09:03,307 --> 00:09:05,475
The mummy got all pissed off
at me, and left!
182
00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:08,825
You're gonna have to share
in the damages, here, son.
183
00:09:08,912 --> 00:09:10,691
But I didn't do
anything wrong!
184
00:09:10,822 --> 00:09:12,964
Okay look, officers.
I think...
185
00:09:13,283 --> 00:09:15,894
I'm under some kind
of curse.
186
00:09:16,058 --> 00:09:19,074
Well, that's what the mummy
told us about you.
187
00:09:19,255 --> 00:09:20,837
You've got a summons
to appear in court.
188
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,739
Until then, I just suggest
you and the mummy
189
00:09:22,826 --> 00:09:24,464
stay away
from each other.
190
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,933
Oh, man.
I really like it.
191
00:09:33,749 --> 00:09:36,165
Yeah. It's smooth.
192
00:09:36,253 --> 00:09:37,433
It's really smooth.
193
00:09:37,521 --> 00:09:40,808
This is so good that we should
stop smoking it right now.
194
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,402
We don't want to ruin our
Halloween experience, you know?
195
00:09:43,653 --> 00:09:46,956
This is seriously gonna be
the best Halloween ever.
196
00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:50,872
Shelly!
197
00:09:51,069 --> 00:09:54,222
That's what I think
of your stupid special!
198
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:57,949
No!
No!!
199
00:09:59,254 --> 00:10:00,854
Alright, everyone,
listen up.
200
00:10:00,941 --> 00:10:02,839
Halloween has almost arrived,
and I want to make sure that
201
00:10:02,926 --> 00:10:04,273
we are all aware
of certain guidelines
202
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,576
when it comes to
Halloween costumes at school.
203
00:10:06,854 --> 00:10:10,035
Now, I don't want to see
any **** sombreros!
204
00:10:10,285 --> 00:10:12,777
Alright? If I see any ****
Mexican sombreros,
205
00:10:12,871 --> 00:10:15,552
or anyone **** dressed
like a **** Native American,
206
00:10:15,639 --> 00:10:17,831
I'm gonna lose
my **** shit.
207
00:10:18,675 --> 00:10:21,105
There will be no
HOBOS or BUMS ‐
208
00:10:21,230 --> 00:10:23,902
anything depicting people
from low‐income households.
209
00:10:24,035 --> 00:10:25,528
Oh, no Halloween
for you, Kenny.
210
00:10:25,615 --> 00:10:27,478
And lastly,
heed my **** words...
211
00:10:27,566 --> 00:10:31,100
..if I see any of you girls
dressed as **** Moana,
212
00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:34,236
I am gonna lose
my **** mind.
213
00:10:34,323 --> 00:10:36,939
Alright, now, the student book
fair is coming up next week.
214
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:38,307
We encourage
all students to...
215
00:10:55,011 --> 00:10:56,152
And that's
all that happened.
216
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,661
I put that stamp
in the sticker book,
217
00:10:57,748 --> 00:10:59,652
and now this mummy is destroying
everything around me.
218
00:10:59,739 --> 00:11:01,720
I need help.
‐M'kay.
219
00:11:01,808 --> 00:11:04,233
A‐And do you feel like
maybe the mummy's trying to,
220
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,603
you know, get you to react?
221
00:11:06,785 --> 00:11:09,439
Well, what do you mean?
‐Well, you know, Butters,
222
00:11:09,526 --> 00:11:12,174
the mummy just feels like you
get to do whatever you want
223
00:11:12,261 --> 00:11:14,243
but it doesn't get to do
whatever it wants.
224
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:16,312
Wait, the mummy talked
to you, too?!
225
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,114
Yeah, yeah, we had a good talk.
Yeah.
226
00:11:18,201 --> 00:11:19,949
Why is it talking to everyone?!
227
00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:22,972
I think the mummy's very insightful
and cares about you a lot...
228
00:11:23,060 --> 00:11:24,878
No, it doesn't!
This is crazy!
229
00:11:24,966 --> 00:11:26,300
Look, the mummy's just sad
230
00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:28,892
because you get to go to school
and have fun
231
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,402
and what does the mummy
get to do?
232
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,480
You know, it just sits around
being a mummy, you know.
233
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:33,958
That's not fair.
‐First of all,
234
00:11:34,046 --> 00:11:36,395
I don't have fun at school!
And secondly,
235
00:11:36,498 --> 00:11:38,418
the mummy can do
whatever it wants. I don't care!
236
00:11:38,555 --> 00:11:41,017
Right, but you do care, Butters,
because you're sitting here
237
00:11:41,105 --> 00:11:44,675
in my office talking about all the
bad things the mummy does, m'kay?
238
00:11:58,199 --> 00:12:00,790
Randy! Quick!
You gotta come see!
239
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:03,363
I just need some time,
okay Towelie?
240
00:12:03,451 --> 00:12:06,128
But you don't understand!
The special!
241
00:12:06,216 --> 00:12:08,152
Well, it's a miracle!
242
00:12:10,809 --> 00:12:13,597
Come on!
You're not gonna believe it!
243
00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:17,652
Alright, Towelie,
what is this... Whoa!
244
00:12:17,902 --> 00:12:23,713
"Creepshow" music plays.
245
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,048
The Halloween special...
246
00:12:26,135 --> 00:12:28,089
Whatever your daughter
threw on this shit
247
00:12:28,177 --> 00:12:30,746
made it more powerful
than ever.
248
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:35,738
Yeah! We're back!
Yeah!
249
00:12:35,912 --> 00:12:38,360
Yeah! Ye...
250
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:39,862
I have to end this curse,
fellas.
251
00:12:39,949 --> 00:12:41,081
It's getting worse
everyday.
252
00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:42,917
Last night,
the mummy attacked my parents!
253
00:12:43,065 --> 00:12:45,448
And then it said I was being
narcissistic!
254
00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:47,537
It has no reason.
No logic.
255
00:12:47,624 --> 00:12:49,405
One minute it's destroying
everything
256
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,709
and the next it's sending me
selfies like nothing happened!
257
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:55,512
Look!
The whole thing is so crazy,
258
00:12:55,599 --> 00:12:57,547
It's starting to make me think
I'm crazy!
259
00:12:57,634 --> 00:13:00,371
Well, it is a little crazy how
much you talk about the mummy.
260
00:13:00,804 --> 00:13:03,352
It's a freaking mummy!
Wouldn't you talk about it?!
261
00:13:03,439 --> 00:13:05,421
We're just saying, Butters, that
sometimes it all seems
262
00:13:05,508 --> 00:13:07,724
a little co‐dependent.
Yeah, like you and the mummy
263
00:13:07,811 --> 00:13:09,425
just need to do
your own thing sometimes.
264
00:13:09,512 --> 00:13:11,293
I would love that,
but I don't have a choice!
265
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:13,730
I swear you guys,
mummies can smell fun!
266
00:13:13,817 --> 00:13:16,132
Whenever I'm somewhere and I
actually start having a good time,
267
00:13:16,219 --> 00:13:17,467
I get a call or a text
from the mummy
268
00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:18,935
sayin',
"Hey, what are ya doin'?"
269
00:13:19,022 --> 00:13:20,470
Like it knows.
270
00:13:20,557 --> 00:13:22,238
Well, you're kinda having fun
now, aren't you?
271
00:13:22,325 --> 00:13:24,073
Yeah, it is fun
to get away
272
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,407
and just talk
to you guys about it.
273
00:13:31,868 --> 00:13:35,077
Ah, gosh darn it.
Hang on a second, fellas.
274
00:13:40,209 --> 00:13:43,092
Ok, that should be enough Halloween
Special for the first few people.
275
00:13:43,179 --> 00:13:45,394
Now, I think we should put
the open bar in this area
276
00:13:45,481 --> 00:13:47,046
and the hot tub
maybe right here.
277
00:13:47,134 --> 00:13:48,483
Yeah,
that'll work well.
278
00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:51,124
Dad, you have to drive me
to the book fair.
279
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:52,602
W‐What?
280
00:13:52,689 --> 00:13:54,403
Mom said you have to drive me
281
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:56,773
because she's taking Stan
trick or treating.
282
00:13:56,860 --> 00:13:59,241
You're going to a book fair.
‐Yes.
283
00:13:59,328 --> 00:14:02,178
‐On **** Halloween?!
‐Yes!
284
00:14:02,265 --> 00:14:04,681
I don't even know how
to deal with you anymore.
285
00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:06,816
You're doing this
on purpose, aren't you?
286
00:14:06,903 --> 00:14:09,652
You're my dad.
Drive me to the book fair!
287
00:14:09,739 --> 00:14:12,639
I will not!
I have things to get ready!
288
00:14:12,735 --> 00:14:15,651
And nobody cares about books
on Halloween, Shelley!
289
00:14:15,739 --> 00:14:18,020
The last thing
people in this town need
290
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,999
is more marijuana!
291
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:22,677
Oh, my God!
292
00:14:22,765 --> 00:14:26,115
It's a nightmare.
It's a personal hell.
293
00:14:26,318 --> 00:14:28,867
I've done everything I can as a
father
294
00:14:28,962 --> 00:14:30,276
to help her
with her problem,
295
00:14:30,426 --> 00:14:32,542
but she just ignores
everything I say!
296
00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:34,444
I can't do this.
297
00:14:34,531 --> 00:14:36,378
You're such
a piece of shit, Dad!
298
00:14:36,465 --> 00:14:39,453
Shelley, I love you!
299
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:42,384
And what does her mother
have to say about this?
300
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:45,090
Her mother doesn't say
anything anymore!
301
00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:47,632
Whenever I bring up our
daughter's marijuana problem,
302
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,868
my wife says,
"I'm gonna lose my mind
303
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:52,992
if you bring this up again."
It's destroying all of us!
304
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:57,330
I just think maybe a night in jail
is the wake‐up call that she needs.
305
00:14:57,486 --> 00:15:00,169
I'm barely gonna have fun
at the Halloween Special now.
306
00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:02,025
It's gonna be really hard
for me to rage
307
00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:04,135
knowing you're in here, Shelley.
It's gonna be really hard
308
00:15:04,222 --> 00:15:05,774
for me to rage.
309
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,048
Alright, here you go.
310
00:15:09,432 --> 00:15:11,881
When you have a problem
with drugs and alcohol,
311
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,579
you hurt everyone around you.
Happy Halloween.
312
00:15:17,607 --> 00:15:19,308
What are you in for?
313
00:15:20,479 --> 00:15:22,360
I'm in here
because apparently
314
00:15:22,448 --> 00:15:24,327
I'm a passive‐aggressive,
controlling,
315
00:15:24,415 --> 00:15:26,783
and manipulative psychopath
who's narcissistic behavior
316
00:15:26,871 --> 00:15:28,284
drives other people crazy.
317
00:15:30,406 --> 00:15:32,755
♪ Turn this mutha out ♪
318
00:15:33,046 --> 00:15:35,028
♪ Oaktown posse they will ♪
319
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:37,673
♪ Turn this mutha out ♪
320
00:15:37,761 --> 00:15:40,510
Hey, trick or treat. We're here
for the Halloween Special?
321
00:15:40,597 --> 00:15:42,150
Alright,
here you go guys!
322
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:44,654
That's a promotional gift
from Tegridy Farms!
323
00:15:44,742 --> 00:15:47,357
Hey, come on in guys.
There's candy and a hot tub!
324
00:15:47,494 --> 00:15:49,009
Alright!
325
00:15:49,105 --> 00:15:51,253
Samplers of the special are
there on the table guys.
326
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,522
Feel free to light up!
327
00:15:52,609 --> 00:15:54,557
Wow! We're
almost out, Randy.
328
00:15:54,644 --> 00:15:56,626
I gotta go to the barn
and get some more!
329
00:15:56,713 --> 00:15:58,294
Okay, I'll hold down
the fort!
330
00:15:58,381 --> 00:16:00,530
♪ Turn this mutha out ♪
331
00:16:00,617 --> 00:16:02,632
♪ Jimmy crack corn
and I don't care ♪
332
00:16:02,719 --> 00:16:03,900
♪ Jimmy crack... ♪
333
00:16:03,987 --> 00:16:05,201
W‐What?
334
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:16,351
So I said, 'Okay! Fine!
You don't ever do
335
00:16:16,439 --> 00:16:18,087
anything wrong.
It's all me.
336
00:16:18,175 --> 00:16:20,173
You've got no problems.
Only I have problems!
337
00:16:20,261 --> 00:16:22,042
Alright, I'll lock
my own ass up.
338
00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:23,444
Then we'll see
who's got issues.
339
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,603
Will you shut up!
340
00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:28,372
I'll be in here and something
will go horribly wrong tonight
341
00:16:28,459 --> 00:16:30,608
and then the monster will
have to accept what it is
342
00:16:30,695 --> 00:16:33,114
and finally work
on changing, right?
343
00:16:33,497 --> 00:16:35,545
Probably not.
344
00:16:35,632 --> 00:16:37,582
Nah, you see,
fluvial geomorphology
345
00:16:37,669 --> 00:16:40,266
deals with the ways rivers
change over time.
346
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,919
It's geology shit.
347
00:16:42,006 --> 00:16:43,662
It's why I got out of it,
really.
348
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,475
Hey, man,
what's in this weed?
349
00:16:46,569 --> 00:16:48,893
Oh! That's a company secret,
my friend!
350
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:50,294
No I mean, I...
351
00:16:50,381 --> 00:16:54,264
I don't feel so...
352
00:16:54,351 --> 00:16:55,900
Hey, you alright there,
buddy?
353
00:16:58,823 --> 00:17:00,671
Whoa!
Dude, you see that?
354
00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:09,224
Towelie, there's something wrong
with the special!
355
00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:10,848
There's something
in the barn!
356
00:17:10,935 --> 00:17:13,928
The thing you killed,
it wants revenge!
357
00:17:14,077 --> 00:17:16,897
Oh, Jesus, what's happened?!
358
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:20,483
It's dead 'cause‐a you,
and now it wants your soul!
359
00:17:20,615 --> 00:17:22,928
What?!
What's dead 'cause‐a me?!
360
00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:28,841
Oh, hello there.
Would you like to die?
361
00:17:30,826 --> 00:17:32,775
Winnie the Pooh!
Winnie the Pooh!
362
00:17:34,591 --> 00:17:37,303
Detective Harris! Something's
going down at the Marsh farm!
363
00:17:37,391 --> 00:17:40,340
Calm down, sir! I can't understand you.
Put him on speaker.
364
00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:42,865
There's monsters everywhere!
365
00:17:42,959 --> 00:17:44,350
It's some kind of curse!
366
00:17:44,468 --> 00:17:46,483
Unspeakable evil!
367
00:17:46,570 --> 00:17:48,279
The mummy! I told you!
368
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,415
All different kinds
of monsters!
369
00:17:50,607 --> 00:17:53,057
Zombies and plant people
and bears!
370
00:17:53,144 --> 00:17:54,391
Oh, my God! What's that?!
371
00:17:54,479 --> 00:17:55,861
Oh, God,
it's Harvey Weinstein!
372
00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:57,461
He's got me! You gotta...
373
00:17:57,548 --> 00:17:59,229
Oh, he's inside me!
374
00:17:59,316 --> 00:18:01,165
Harvey Weinstein is inside me!
375
00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:03,567
You gotta send help!
People are dying everywhere!
376
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:05,373
No! Harvey, I said no!
377
00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:07,422
Please somebody...
378
00:18:07,510 --> 00:18:09,196
This is it, everyone.
Let's move!
379
00:18:09,284 --> 00:18:12,485
All hands on deck! We gotta
take these monsters down!
380
00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,844
Bring the kid
who manipulates the mummy
381
00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,881
with his passive aggressive
selfishness!
382
00:18:29,013 --> 00:18:31,596
Alright, men!
Let's take these monsters out!
383
00:18:31,683 --> 00:18:33,734
No, just hold on a second.
384
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,891
I'll take care of this!
385
00:18:44,419 --> 00:18:46,997
Oh, God, it's the cows we killed!
386
00:18:48,699 --> 00:18:52,315
Oh, I'm really going to enjoy
eating your brains.
387
00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:55,293
Get em off a me! Get em off a me!
388
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:57,596
Oh, my God,
get him off of me!
389
00:18:57,942 --> 00:19:00,057
Get em off me!
390
00:19:00,144 --> 00:19:01,870
Help! Someone help us!
391
00:19:02,023 --> 00:19:03,894
‐Someone help us!
‐Get him off of me!
392
00:19:03,982 --> 00:19:07,085
Ahh! We gotta fight 'em, Towelie!
Help! Someone help us!
393
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:12,356
I wanna live! We're going to live!
We're going to live!
394
00:19:17,845 --> 00:19:20,193
You monsters,
go back to Hell!
395
00:19:21,757 --> 00:19:23,187
- There's too many of them!
- There's too many of them!
396
00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:26,124
Oh, what is...
what is that?!
397
00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:27,935
No! No!
398
00:19:32,977 --> 00:19:36,126
Alright! That's it everyone!
Nothing to see here.
399
00:19:36,213 --> 00:19:39,063
Just some people
who are really, really high.
400
00:19:39,150 --> 00:19:41,849
- Awwwww...
- I can't shoot anyone?
401
00:19:42,229 --> 00:19:44,499
You were so convinced
the mummy was to blame
402
00:19:44,587 --> 00:19:46,099
for everything,
weren't you?
403
00:19:46,187 --> 00:19:48,770
So convinced you
made us all believe it, too.
404
00:19:48,993 --> 00:19:50,775
I'm... I'm sorry?
405
00:19:50,862 --> 00:19:54,528
Yeah, well it's not us you
really need to be sorry to.
406
00:19:57,247 --> 00:19:59,080
Let's see if you even have
407
00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:00,428
a shred of decency
to apologize
408
00:20:00,539 --> 00:20:02,813
when something
is clearly your fault.
409
00:20:05,168 --> 00:20:07,696
I'm so sorry.
You're right.
410
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,948
I can be selfish
and narcissistic.
411
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,791
I‐I'm gonna work
on myself and...
412
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:14,501
try to make
this curse work somehow.
413
00:20:35,998 --> 00:20:39,455
It says, "I hope you can get
the help you need.
414
00:20:39,558 --> 00:20:41,293
I can't fix you."
415
00:20:50,788 --> 00:20:52,752
Hey, guess
I slept in late, huh?
416
00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,071
What time is it?
417
00:20:54,158 --> 00:20:56,307
It's 8:15 a. m.
418
00:20:56,728 --> 00:20:58,752
November 3rd.
419
00:20:59,163 --> 00:21:01,057
Oof, wow.
420
00:21:01,465 --> 00:21:05,315
That was some strong‐ass
Halloween Special, y'all.
421
00:21:05,402 --> 00:21:09,519
I mean I saw rapists in the hot
tub, zombie cows...
422
00:21:09,714 --> 00:21:11,840
I thought I was gonna die,
and then...
423
00:21:11,928 --> 00:21:14,903
this fat, bitchy angel came
and put me to bed.
424
00:21:16,989 --> 00:21:19,504
Did everyone enjoy
the Halloween Special?
425
00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:22,332
No, Randy, only you did.
426
00:21:22,419 --> 00:21:24,568
Oh...
Well, that was pretty much
427
00:21:24,655 --> 00:21:26,536
my target audience, anyway.
428
00:21:26,623 --> 00:21:28,850
Hey, at least I didn't
really have butt sex
429
00:21:28,938 --> 00:21:30,653
with Harvey Weinstein, huh?
430
00:21:30,852 --> 00:21:32,045
Huh?
431
00:21:33,462 --> 00:21:36,170
Or did I?
432
00:21:36,697 --> 00:21:40,186
Whoo!
Happy Halloween, everybody!
433
00:21:40,452 --> 00:21:43,679
Sync corrections by srjanapala
30691
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof