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*SOUTH PARK*
Season 23 Episode 03
Episode Title: "Shots!!!"
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00:00:06,461 --> 00:00:09,915
♪ Goin' down to Tegridy
Farms, gonna have myself a time ♪
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00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:11,776
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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00:00:11,864 --> 00:00:13,581
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:13,669 --> 00:00:16,851
♪ Goin' down to Tegridy Farms,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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00:00:16,939 --> 00:00:18,887
♪ There's ample parking
day or night ♪
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00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,641
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,181
♪ I'm headin' on down
to Tegridy Farms ♪
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00:00:22,268 --> 00:00:24,024
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,016
I got some weed,
and...
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00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,534
I don't know what's going on.
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00:00:27,622 --> 00:00:29,437
♪ So come on down
to Tegridy Farms ♪
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00:00:29,525 --> 00:00:31,427
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:35,808
♪ Happy 300 to us ♪
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00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:38,545
♪ Happy 300 to us ♪
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00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:42,115
♪ Happy 300,
Tegridy Farms ♪
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00:00:42,203 --> 00:00:43,249
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
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00:00:43,337 --> 00:00:47,086
♪ Happy three hundred
thousand dollars ♪
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00:00:47,387 --> 00:00:48,615
Can you believe it, gang?
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We've broken $300,000
selling weed.
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00:00:53,914 --> 00:00:55,810
Not to be a dick,
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00:00:55,898 --> 00:00:59,881
but I remember back when
you, Sharon, and you, Shelley,
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00:00:59,999 --> 00:01:03,763
said buying a pot farm
was a "stupid" idea.
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00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:06,005
Now we're living the dream.
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00:01:06,092 --> 00:01:08,862
You're living the dream.
This is your dream.
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00:01:11,185 --> 00:01:13,607
You know,
is it me
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00:01:13,695 --> 00:01:17,498
or are people starting to not be
that stoked on Tegridy Farms?
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Are you guys still pissed off
about the China thing?
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You may not like that
I do business with China,
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00:01:26,427 --> 00:01:29,316
but personally, I think you guys
having a problem with China
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is racist.
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Now come on!
Let's celebrate 300!
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Who wants shots?
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00:01:34,187 --> 00:01:35,443
Shots?
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00:01:35,631 --> 00:01:37,263
No shots!
No shots!
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Eric, you have
to be a big boy.
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Big boys get a toy
from the toy chest.
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No, no, no, no, no!
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Eric, It's just a little prick.
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No, no, no!
Nooooo!
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Good boy, Eric!
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Our school now has
a very strict policy
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00:02:00,156 --> 00:02:01,631
when it comes
to immunizations.
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00:02:01,719 --> 00:02:05,303
Everyone has to follow protocol
or it puts everyone at risk.
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I'm sorry, PC Principal.
It's just that...
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my little Eric really
doesn't like shots.
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Well, Eric, nobody likes shots.
They're just a fact of life.
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00:02:13,882 --> 00:02:15,397
No, no.
You don't understand.
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00:02:15,484 --> 00:02:17,199
I've taken him to the doctor
every Friday
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00:02:17,286 --> 00:02:18,800
for the past four years.
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They try to
give him his shot,
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but he gets scared
and runs around,
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and he squeals
like a little pig.
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The doctors try
to catch him,
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but Eric greases himself up
so they can't.
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I'm sorry,
but my hands are tied here.
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If Eric isn't immunized,
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00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,636
then he cannot go
to this school.
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Please!
I've tried everything!
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00:02:35,686 --> 00:02:37,597
You have to let Eric
go to school.
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00:02:37,685 --> 00:02:39,821
I work all day,
and without school,
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he'll just...
he'll just have nothing!
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What do you think's gonna
be different next time you try?
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If... If you could
offer Eric something.
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00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,950
Sometimes when Eric
is behaving this way,
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00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:52,753
I think of a gift
or a treat of some kind.
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00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,089
Oh, that's a good idea.
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00:02:54,177 --> 00:02:55,401
Like, what are
you thinking?
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I don't know!
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Like maybe
exclusive use
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of the tetherball pole at recess
for the next two months?
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00:03:00,929 --> 00:03:03,545
Ooh, would that
be possible?
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00:03:03,786 --> 00:03:06,044
What I care most about is
the safety of the students,
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00:03:06,132 --> 00:03:08,386
so if you'll take your shots,
then I'll agree.
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00:03:08,474 --> 00:03:12,020
Sweet. But, Eric,
you really have to do it this time, okay?
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00:03:12,107 --> 00:03:14,323
When we're at the doctors,
you can't change your mind.
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I won't change my mind.
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Eric, it's okay!
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I'm sorry but I have
a lot of other patients to see.
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We'll just have to try again
next week.
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Come on, Eric.
We're going home.
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We're going home?
You promise?
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00:03:43,016 --> 00:03:45,086
Let's go!
Get in the car!
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00:03:45,688 --> 00:03:47,553
Wait, can I get a toy
from the toy chest?
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One toy, Eric!
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Cool!
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Yeah!
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300!
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00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,735
Tegridy Farms!
Hello, South Park!
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00:04:07,822 --> 00:04:09,283
Thanks for making Tegridy
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00:04:09,371 --> 00:04:11,839
the most profitable farm
in Colorado!
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00:04:11,972 --> 00:04:14,167
We couldn't have done it
without you, so here!
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00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,702
Here's some beads!
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00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,996
Here you go!
Beads for everybody!
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00:04:18,144 --> 00:04:20,681
I've got $300,000!
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00:04:20,768 --> 00:04:26,721
♪ China, China! ♪
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00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:30,124
♪ Da‐da‐ya‐ya history! ♪
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♪ It was la la la China! ♪
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00:04:32,947 --> 00:04:37,432
♪ China, China! ♪
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00:04:37,519 --> 00:04:39,667
Alright, China!
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00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,862
So, then I guess the school
said Eric can't come here no more
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and so he's been,
like, kicked out.
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00:04:43,425 --> 00:04:45,573
Cartman can't go
to this school anymore?
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00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,275
Yeah, he was actually kind of
upset about it
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00:04:47,362 --> 00:04:49,143
because he said on the phone
that he has to do
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00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,901
homeschooling
with this really mean teacher.
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00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:52,957
Oh, my God. I don't know
how long this will last,
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00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:54,360
but I'm gonna savor
every minute.
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00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,910
Hey, guys!
I'm back in school!
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00:04:56,998 --> 00:04:58,025
Everything worked out.
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I'm allowed back,
and it's all good!
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00:04:59,621 --> 00:05:00,621
You got your shots?
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00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:02,673
No, I don't have
to get my shots ever!
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00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,083
And they can't
do anything about it.
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00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,314
Because
I'm a consciousness objector.
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00:05:06,402 --> 00:05:08,042
A conscientious objector?
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00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:10,112
Yeah, I told the school,
I said, look you guys,
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00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:12,197
I happen to have...
"religious, moral,
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00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:13,878
or philosophical
convictions."
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00:05:13,966 --> 00:05:16,067
And-And I said I believe
that "health and disease
121
00:05:16,155 --> 00:05:17,745
should not be controlled
by vaccination."
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00:05:17,832 --> 00:05:19,607
Those are my beliefs.
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00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,442
And besides, I don't want
to risk immunizations
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00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,324
making me artistic.
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00:05:23,412 --> 00:05:25,208
Dude, Cartman, don't you know
that if you don't get immunized
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00:05:25,295 --> 00:05:26,948
you actually put people at risk
who... One second! One second!
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00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,099
Sorry.
One second, gotta sneeze.
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00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:30,417
Oh, never mind.
Never mind.
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00:05:30,505 --> 00:05:31,519
I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
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00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:33,288
I'm saying that
we all had to get shots
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00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:33,921
and, actually,
if just one person doesn't...
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00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:36,457
Oh!
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00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:37,592
Snot web.
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00:05:37,679 --> 00:05:39,044
I'll be right back,
you guys.
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00:05:39,132 --> 00:05:40,480
Can somebody get me
a paper towel?
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00:05:40,568 --> 00:05:41,796
I got a snot web here.
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00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,631
Consciousness objector
coming through.
138
00:05:47,422 --> 00:05:48,869
Alright, everyone.
Listen up.
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00:05:48,956 --> 00:05:50,371
I understand your frustration,
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00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,873
but a government organization
like a school
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00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,490
cannot impose its will
on a conscientious objector.
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00:05:56,578 --> 00:05:59,255
It's not safe for our kids
to be in this school!
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00:05:59,356 --> 00:06:02,206
You do understand that up
to 5% of kids with vaccines
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00:06:02,294 --> 00:06:03,351
can still be at risk.
145
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,653
Everyone has to do it,
or it doesn't matter!
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00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,489
Yeah, I don't quite see
how it's fair that
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00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,625
all the rest of our community
agrees to this.
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00:06:10,712 --> 00:06:13,534
Why does one family
get to have a problem with it?
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00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:14,795
I'm sorry.
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00:06:14,882 --> 00:06:17,183
It's just my strong,
personal belief that
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00:06:17,271 --> 00:06:18,566
"among other things,
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00:06:18,653 --> 00:06:20,706
vaccines contain
harmful ingredients.
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00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:23,471
Formaldehyde, aluminum
and even Mercury."
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00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:26,683
Aw, come on, Mrs. Cartman,
all major medical organizations
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00:06:26,771 --> 00:06:28,115
state that vaccines
are safe!
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00:06:28,203 --> 00:06:31,453
The CDC, the FDA, UNICEF,
and the US Department of Health!
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00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,662
Yes, yes,
I know but...
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00:06:33,835 --> 00:06:37,918
"we can't even risk
a 0.1% chance of vaccinations
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00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:40,255
making our children
artistic."
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00:06:40,388 --> 00:06:41,556
Well, that's true.
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00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:42,990
There are enough artists
in the world.
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00:06:43,077 --> 00:06:44,863
Look, I don't know
what kind of mother
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00:06:44,951 --> 00:06:46,474
wouldn't vaccinate
their child,
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00:06:46,562 --> 00:06:48,745
but it's putting everyone
in danger, and that's why...
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00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:51,532
Then you try to catch him!
You try it!
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00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,401
Don't you people
criticize me
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00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,536
until you've taken Eric
to the doctor,
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00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,630
and you've tried
to hold him down!
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00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:58,976
I'm a good mother!
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00:06:59,064 --> 00:07:03,381
Don't you dare question
if I care about my child!
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00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:05,413
Oh, shit.
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00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,315
O‐Of course you care.
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00:07:07,402 --> 00:07:09,584
Nobody likes seeing
their child in pain.
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00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:12,403
Maybe... Maybe you should
just let us take care
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00:07:12,491 --> 00:07:14,132
of getting Eric
his shots.
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00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:19,718
You don't understand
how hard it is.
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00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:21,630
We'll find a way
to make it
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00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:24,265
completely painless
for him, okay?
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00:07:53,582 --> 00:07:55,317
Alright, alright.
Bring him in!
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00:07:58,336 --> 00:07:59,851
The little boy's room
is upstairs.
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00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,952
Oh, I don't know
if I can go through with this.
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00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,562
My little Eric is going
to be so mad at me!
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00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,225
Look, by the time
he knows what's happened,
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00:08:06,312 --> 00:08:07,320
it'll already be over.
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00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:09,167
Did you bring
his boo‐boo present?
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00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,163
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Thomas and Laura.
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00:08:15,422 --> 00:08:16,670
Okay? See?
We got the present.
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00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:17,938
Everything's
gonna be fine.
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00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,507
Hey, what's going on?
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00:08:34,631 --> 00:08:36,579
No, no! Nooo!
191
00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,225
Oh! It'll just
be for a second!
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00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:39,731
Oh, Jesus!
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00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,704
Eric, there's a big treat
for you if you stay still!
194
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,172
Catch him!
195
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,740
Thomas! Linda!
196
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,208
Y‐You gotta get him!
197
00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:06,250
Eric! Oh!
198
00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:09,412
Well, what do we do now?
199
00:09:09,727 --> 00:09:12,409
I think the only way
we're gonna get Eric immunized
200
00:09:12,497 --> 00:09:14,191
is by bringing
in an expert.
201
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:26,090
This is Big Mesquite Murph.
How can I help you?
202
00:09:27,527 --> 00:09:30,730
You say you got yourself
a conscientious objector?
203
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,816
Well, you just sit tight.
204
00:09:33,904 --> 00:09:35,686
There aren't never no hog
205
00:09:35,774 --> 00:09:38,623
that Big Mesquite Murph
couldn't catch.
206
00:09:45,203 --> 00:09:48,620
How many thousand dollars has
Tegridy Farms made selling weed?
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00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:50,689
$300,000!
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00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,696
It's a 300‐palooza!
209
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:54,672
Come on down
and see what we've got!
210
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,788
What have we got?
211
00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:58,024
We've got $300,000!
212
00:09:58,112 --> 00:10:01,929
Just selling' all
this weed!
213
00:10:02,086 --> 00:10:03,668
And this month,
we're celebrating
214
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:05,993
all our new customers in China!
215
00:10:08,752 --> 00:10:11,335
We're celebrating with
new T‐shirts!
216
00:10:11,423 --> 00:10:15,016
"Tegridy Farms made $300,000
and all I got was high."
217
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:16,972
Get yours for just ten bucks!
218
00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:18,607
We couldn't have
done it without you!
219
00:10:18,694 --> 00:10:21,710
Remember!
That's $300,000!
220
00:10:22,924 --> 00:10:24,539
Well...
what'd you think, guys?
221
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,697
How much did you spend
making that commercial?
222
00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:28,767
Who cares, Sharon?
Business is up.
223
00:10:28,971 --> 00:10:32,211
Nobody cares about
your stupid $300,000!
224
00:10:32,312 --> 00:10:33,602
We've become
the kind of business
225
00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,772
that we moved out here
to get away from!
226
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,942
You know why
the Chinese buy our weed?!
227
00:10:38,030 --> 00:10:40,211
It's to plant
on their student protesters
228
00:10:40,299 --> 00:10:42,114
so they can
put them in jail!
229
00:10:42,202 --> 00:10:44,117
Yeah, we make money
either way.
230
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:46,679
You don't care
how anyone else feels!
231
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,815
We bought this farm
together, Randy!
232
00:10:48,903 --> 00:10:53,132
Or did you forget that?
I hate marijuana!
233
00:10:53,262 --> 00:10:56,075
Shelley!
I hate marijuana, too.
234
00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,030
Stan!
235
00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:05,353
Oh, Eric, I...
236
00:11:05,507 --> 00:11:07,648
wasn't sure
if you'd be up yet.
237
00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:14,671
Eric, you know I only
want what's best
238
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,173
for my little snookums.
239
00:11:16,351 --> 00:11:19,273
You read me a bedtime story.
You tucked me in.
240
00:11:19,468 --> 00:11:21,169
And then you let half the town
into my room
241
00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:22,905
to try and give me a shot
against my will.
242
00:11:22,992 --> 00:11:25,373
It was supposed
to make it easier on you,
243
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:27,943
and th‐th‐they didn't
catch you anyway.
244
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:30,846
This is goodbye, Mom.
I can't live with you anymore.
245
00:11:31,046 --> 00:11:32,577
Eric, please!
246
00:11:32,665 --> 00:11:34,831
You don't know how hard it is
to be a parent!
247
00:11:34,919 --> 00:11:37,187
Sometimes we don't know
the right thing to do!
248
00:11:37,339 --> 00:11:38,585
So you go along
with society
249
00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:39,987
and try to force
immunizations on me
250
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,789
even knowing
the health risks?
251
00:11:41,877 --> 00:11:44,059
What if immunizations made my
friend Timmy the way he is?
252
00:11:44,146 --> 00:11:45,496
What if they made Jimmy
the way he is?
253
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,531
What if they made Token
the way he is?
254
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,634
Eric, when I was
at the store, I got you
255
00:11:49,928 --> 00:11:51,497
some Little Debbie Cream Pies
and...
256
00:11:51,609 --> 00:11:52,785
That isn't gonna work
this time, Mom!
257
00:11:52,872 --> 00:11:55,443
I don't want
to be around you anymore!
258
00:11:56,495 --> 00:11:57,874
So I don't know where
you're gonna stay,
259
00:11:57,961 --> 00:11:59,242
but you'll just have
to figure it out.
260
00:11:59,329 --> 00:12:00,911
I've already packed
all your things.
261
00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,915
Sweetie, you can't live
on your own.
262
00:12:04,048 --> 00:12:05,859
You should've thought about that
before you made this house
263
00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:07,789
a nightmare for me.
Goodbye, mother.
264
00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,997
Alright, youngin,
we can do this the easy way
265
00:12:22,084 --> 00:12:24,099
or we can do it hard.
266
00:12:29,919 --> 00:12:32,234
- ‐Yeeeeeeee‐haw!
- ‐
267
00:12:32,366 --> 00:12:34,334
- ‐Soooiee!
- ‐
268
00:12:46,375 --> 00:12:48,359
Well? What happened.
269
00:12:48,671 --> 00:12:51,617
I ain't never seen
no hog like that...
270
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:54,854
It's like it could run
two places at once.
271
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,937
You said
you could catch him!
272
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,607
I did catch 'im!
273
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,676
I got him locked in a pen!
274
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:02,734
It's just that every time
I bring out that needle,
275
00:13:02,822 --> 00:13:04,737
he becomes
like a hog tornado,
276
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,640
but I'll get him!
Yeah?
277
00:13:06,728 --> 00:13:08,414
Or maybe you just believe
a little bit
278
00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:11,172
that vaccinations shouldn't be
mandated for school attendance
279
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:13,734
due to possible
still‐unknown side effects.
280
00:13:14,118 --> 00:13:17,101
Don't you question me.
If anyone believes
281
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:20,416
that the most common side effect
of vaccines... anaphylaxis...
282
00:13:20,504 --> 00:13:22,886
occurs in only one per several
hundred thousand
283
00:13:22,974 --> 00:13:24,389
to one per million vaccinations,
284
00:13:24,477 --> 00:13:26,437
it's Big Mesquite Murph.
285
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:29,126
Now this hog you got here,
he's contained,
286
00:13:29,214 --> 00:13:31,863
but now I need help gettin' him
his shots.
287
00:13:31,951 --> 00:13:33,699
The only way
we're gonna get him,
288
00:13:33,787 --> 00:13:36,036
is we gotta build a big
enclosed pen
289
00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:38,039
'bout 100 feet in diameter.
290
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:41,750
I'm also gonna need the best
wranglers flown in from Wichita.
291
00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:45,755
And I'm gonna need some loud
music and some barbecue.
292
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:48,020
Barbecue?
293
00:13:52,053 --> 00:13:53,734
Mrs. Cartman?
294
00:13:53,822 --> 00:13:55,014
Hello, Randy...
295
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,428
I'm... sorry to trouble you,
but...
296
00:13:57,773 --> 00:13:59,187
I don't know where to turn.
297
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:01,141
I was hoping maybe...
298
00:14:01,268 --> 00:14:03,183
I could buy some ganja.
299
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:05,267
Whoa, whoa, what's going on?
300
00:14:05,354 --> 00:14:07,302
My son h‐hates me.
301
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,366
The whole town h‐hates me.
302
00:14:09,454 --> 00:14:11,769
Nobody thinks I'm a good mom,
303
00:14:11,857 --> 00:14:13,717
and I don't know
if I am anymore!
304
00:14:13,805 --> 00:14:15,227
Ok, ok, come on...
305
00:14:15,315 --> 00:14:17,452
let's get you inside
and get you some weed.
306
00:14:18,287 --> 00:14:20,739
It all just happened gradually,
you know?
307
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,850
I don't know why
308
00:14:22,938 --> 00:14:25,108
but it's like everyone's
against me.
309
00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:27,147
Even my own son.
310
00:14:27,643 --> 00:14:29,525
Believe me, I know
how that feels.
311
00:14:31,211 --> 00:14:32,802
You try to do what's best
for your family
312
00:14:32,889 --> 00:14:34,437
and all you do
is get on.
313
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,341
I know immunizations
are probably for the best...
314
00:14:37,429 --> 00:14:40,101
...but then you read
some of this stuff
315
00:14:40,189 --> 00:14:42,014
on the Internet,
and I don't know.
316
00:14:42,102 --> 00:14:44,184
It's scary.
317
00:14:44,272 --> 00:14:45,887
That's just it.
318
00:14:45,975 --> 00:14:47,875
When it comes to families,
we just have to do
319
00:14:47,963 --> 00:14:50,960
what we think is best.
It doesn't matter.
320
00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:53,559
They're having an all‐county
mandated immunization
321
00:14:53,647 --> 00:14:54,866
round up tonight.
322
00:14:54,954 --> 00:14:57,204
Any child not immunized
is about to be.
323
00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:59,256
All‐county immunization
round up?
324
00:14:59,374 --> 00:15:01,085
What's that?
325
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:03,459
Good evenin', everybody,
326
00:15:03,546 --> 00:15:06,999
and welcome to the CDC
Child Immunization challenge.
327
00:15:07,118 --> 00:15:09,275
This here special event
is sponsored by
328
00:15:09,363 --> 00:15:12,328
Voices for Vaccines
and also by Chevy.
329
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:15,281
So with all that all out the
way, let's get to some action!
330
00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:23,490
First up, we have little
Danny Ray Johnston
331
00:15:23,577 --> 00:15:25,392
out of Bailey, Colorada.
332
00:15:25,479 --> 00:15:28,228
He has not been immunized
since kindergarten.
333
00:15:28,315 --> 00:15:30,531
He says he just don't like
needles.
334
00:15:37,224 --> 00:15:39,072
No! Noooooo!
335
00:15:39,159 --> 00:15:41,074
‐And there they go!
336
00:15:45,165 --> 00:15:47,348
No! Noooo!
337
00:16:02,282 --> 00:16:03,647
Ah!
338
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:07,240
Nooo!
339
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,670
He stuck him
in the left buttocks!
340
00:16:13,768 --> 00:16:16,118
That is a 8.7 score,
right there.
341
00:16:19,531 --> 00:16:22,514
Alright let's hear it for little Danny
Ray, folks.
342
00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:25,508
He's a little worse for wear
but now he can pick himself up
343
00:16:25,596 --> 00:16:27,143
a nice little toy
from the toy chest.
344
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:29,097
Jesus...
345
00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:30,414
I've got to get out of here!
346
00:16:33,299 --> 00:16:34,986
It's just...
It's like...
347
00:16:35,074 --> 00:16:36,672
Can't people see
I'm trying to do
348
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,227
what's best
for my family?!
349
00:16:38,315 --> 00:16:40,696
I'm trying to provide for them
by running a business!
350
00:16:40,784 --> 00:16:42,866
I'm sorry
if I make mistakes!
351
00:16:43,265 --> 00:16:44,765
I know, Randy.
352
00:16:44,853 --> 00:16:46,793
Other parents expect me
to deal with Eric and...
353
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,594
And I get it
from both sides
354
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:51,597
because my family's
pissed off at me, too!
355
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,868
I understand.
No, you don't!
356
00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:56,136
Yes, I do.
No, you don't!
357
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,771
Nobody understands.
358
00:16:57,858 --> 00:17:02,877
Randy, we all try to do
the best for our family.
359
00:17:03,014 --> 00:17:04,912
And sometimes...
360
00:17:04,999 --> 00:17:06,914
when we're afraid
of being judged,
361
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:09,516
we can push
our family away.
362
00:17:09,603 --> 00:17:12,207
Yeah, it's like everybody's
doing business with China.
363
00:17:12,295 --> 00:17:13,600
Just, like, get over it.
364
00:17:13,763 --> 00:17:16,537
You should just feel lucky
that you have a partner
365
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:19,541
in doing what's right for your family.
Yeah...
366
00:17:19,746 --> 00:17:22,496
I'm afraid I haven't been very
kind to that partner lately.
367
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,731
I think maybe it's time
for an apology.
368
00:17:24,818 --> 00:17:26,800
Thanks for the talk,
Randy,
369
00:17:26,887 --> 00:17:29,162
and for the weed.
Where you going?
370
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:32,686
I'm going to do the only thing
I know how to do.
371
00:17:32,859 --> 00:17:34,482
Be a mom.
372
00:17:34,695 --> 00:17:36,643
Nooo!
373
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,790
Alright, and that is
Dr. Chet Molwinns
374
00:17:40,878 --> 00:17:43,660
that just gave that girl
her DTAP booster
375
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,112
and her HPV vaccination.
376
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:47,873
That is for genital warts.
377
00:17:47,961 --> 00:17:49,809
Way to go, Chet.
378
00:17:49,897 --> 00:17:52,670
Hey, folks, let's hear it for
all these wranglers tonight.
379
00:17:52,758 --> 00:17:55,176
They're workin' extra hard
to bring immunity
380
00:17:55,264 --> 00:17:56,912
to your community.
381
00:17:57,056 --> 00:18:00,605
Alright, folks, we are now
ready for the main event!
382
00:18:00,693 --> 00:18:04,857
This young man has never had
a single immunization.
383
00:18:05,071 --> 00:18:07,353
He says he is an orthodox Jew
384
00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,857
and a conscientious objector.
385
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,254
Everyone put your hands
together now for little
386
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:15,137
Eric "The South Park Piggy"
Cartman.
387
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,818
Sooouuuiiieee!
388
00:18:26,719 --> 00:18:29,301
There he goes folks!
Dear Lord, he's a slippery one.
389
00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,639
Do you remember
we used to come here
390
00:18:38,727 --> 00:18:41,543
and look over
the town lights together?
391
00:18:41,771 --> 00:18:43,043
Yeah, so what?
392
00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:44,967
Then you turned
into an asshole.
393
00:18:45,199 --> 00:18:48,082
I brought you here
to apologize, Towelie.
394
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,583
I let the money go
to my head.
395
00:18:49,977 --> 00:18:51,050
I... I got greedy,
396
00:18:51,138 --> 00:18:52,987
and I started acting
like a towel.
397
00:18:53,074 --> 00:18:54,384
I need you back.
398
00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:57,295
I need Tegridy back
the way it used to be.
399
00:18:57,591 --> 00:18:59,672
No more harassing
home growers?
400
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,509
No more harassing home growers.
401
00:19:01,597 --> 00:19:03,779
No more dealing with those
MedMen assholes.
402
00:19:03,951 --> 00:19:05,199
No more MedMen.
403
00:19:05,286 --> 00:19:07,517
No more kissing China's ass?
404
00:19:08,055 --> 00:19:09,937
China's actually a free
and loving country that...
405
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:11,486
I'm out.
406
00:19:11,574 --> 00:19:14,090
Wait! Wait, Towelie!
Come on, I need you!
407
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,218
I'm never working
for a company
408
00:19:16,306 --> 00:19:18,178
that's regulated
by a communist government.
409
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:19,775
Okay, okay...
410
00:19:19,863 --> 00:19:21,577
No more selling
to the Chinese.
411
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,720
Then say it. Say, "
the Chinese government.
412
00:19:25,806 --> 00:19:27,354
the Chinese
government.
413
00:19:27,441 --> 00:19:29,289
I didn't hear you.
414
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,056
the Chinese government!
There!
415
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,627
Well...
416
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:36,142
you just got
your partner back.
417
00:19:36,781 --> 00:19:39,572
This is it.
418
00:19:39,660 --> 00:19:41,859
This is the moment
that Tegridy Farms
419
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,071
got back on track.
420
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:48,836
Dear Lord, we are
goin' on 16 minutes here
421
00:19:48,924 --> 00:19:51,173
and ain't nobody caught this youngin!
422
00:19:51,275 --> 00:19:53,509
This might very well be
a world record
423
00:19:53,597 --> 00:19:55,580
you're seeing here, folks.
424
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,314
Get out of my way!
Move it!
425
00:19:58,663 --> 00:20:01,066
Whoa, whoa, Mrs. Cartman.
Everything is fine here.
426
00:20:03,530 --> 00:20:05,599
It's okay, Liane!
They know what they're doing!
427
00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:14,571
Oh, looks like we've got a
concerned parent in there,
428
00:20:14,659 --> 00:20:16,275
tryin' to take issue
with her child's well bein'.
429
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,786
Mooommm!
430
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:28,714
Leave my son alonnnneeeeee!
431
00:20:46,199 --> 00:20:48,647
I know I'm not the greatest mom
in the world.
432
00:20:48,735 --> 00:20:50,718
I do the best I can.
433
00:20:50,806 --> 00:20:52,486
Whatever happens now
434
00:20:52,574 --> 00:20:54,656
is going to be done my way.
435
00:20:54,744 --> 00:20:56,072
Come on, Eric.
436
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:00,845
Wait, Mom.
437
00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:02,147
No, Eric!
438
00:21:02,369 --> 00:21:04,318
No shot, no toy!
439
00:21:04,451 --> 00:21:05,852
What?!
440
00:21:11,844 --> 00:21:13,626
Okay, doctor,
I'm ready for my shots.
441
00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:16,619
Eric, I've been speaking
with your mother...
442
00:21:16,845 --> 00:21:20,099
- I'm afraid there's some bad news.
- Bad news?
443
00:21:20,187 --> 00:21:21,595
What are you talking about?
Mom?
444
00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:23,833
Your mother received
a heavy dose of vaccine
445
00:21:23,921 --> 00:21:25,235
that wasn't meant
for an adult.
446
00:21:25,323 --> 00:21:28,072
I'm afraid there have been...
side effects.
447
00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:30,381
What side effects?
Mom?! Mom!
448
00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:32,265
Mom? Are you here, M...
449
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,816
Eric...
450
00:21:37,138 --> 00:21:38,385
Nooo...
451
00:21:38,472 --> 00:21:40,414
Noooooo!
452
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,509
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