Original subtitles

All right, all right.

Here you are, ma 'am.

Here you are. Here is your Washington red skin. That's a shot of Campari and

empty potato skin.

Thank you.

It's the world's peace.

Yeah, it should be any day now.

All right.

All right.

He's coming.

All right, cut it. Cut the jukebox. Cut it.

My man.

Drug boat.

Secretary Hicks said, can I get you your usual? A shot of beer with a pint of

whiskey dropped into it? That's right. A reversed Irish car bomb, yeah.

It's just nice to have my sneaky bar here where I'm not going to run into

from work.

Because none of Trump's people like drinking as much as I do.

Wrong!

of six Bud Lights and three shots of J -Mo. Yes!

Come on!

Yep, a 6 -3 decision coming right up, Your Honor.

Ah, pencil feet. I kind of figured I was going to find you here.

Oh, did I include you on a signal chat by accident?

No, no, I just saw all the women covering their drink.

Oh! Oh, my!

That could be you, too! Yeah, that's good. I like that. I like that.

Ah, it's just great that we share that.

Yeah, it is fun. It's fun we share that.

Hey, can I just say, we are both kicking ass right now. Right?

Dude, can you believe I just, like, started a war?

Can you believe I ended abortion?

Huh? Hey, your body, my choice.

Oh!

You knew I'd do it! You knew I'd do it!

Oh, how is the war going, by the way? Oh, it's totally chill.

It's, uh, it's totally chill at this point. It's like me at a DWI checkpoint.

It completely blew over.

Oh.

Really? I thought I read we were still bombing stuff.

Oh, no. It's just like a few every now and then. We can stop whenever we want

to.

Oh, that's cool. Check this out.

What is this? What have you been up to? Well, it's a new voting district that I

approved in Tennessee.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wait. Actually, no. That's a field sobriety test. They told me to draw a

circle.

Dude, you really are really close.

Thank you, Mr. Abbott. You knew it was a shape.

Appreciate that.

Can I be honest with you, man? Sure. It's just that I worked so hard on this

Iran war, and I'm just worried it's going to end.

You know?

It's kind of like I took a bunch of blue chew and then didn't bang anyone.

Like, okay, I guess I'll just watch Seinfeld bricked up.

Thank God we got each other, right?

Yeah. You know what the real war is right now? The real war?

It's the war against...

Male loneliness.

I used to have all my buddies to hang out with.

PJ and Toby.

Squee.

Gang Bang Greg.

Dr. William Cosby.

I just wish there were more people in this administration who could really

Does this bar take cash?

What's up? Are we wilding out tonight or what?

Yeah, we always wild, K -pop demon hunter.

Yeah, I got nothing to do tomorrow, you know, because of the... ceasefire!

Oh, oh, guys, check this out.

because sometimes they think I'm a kid with a fake ID. They say, oh, no adult

would make this face in official photos.

But seriously, we're all living the American dream. I'm the first person in

family to go to college, party, many years after graduating.

Hey, K -9, is that rumor true that you make everybody in the FBI take a

polygraph? No, I told them to make a graph.

of everyone in the FBI who's poly.

My girlfriend wants to open up our relationship.

Oh, dear.

Come on. Yeah. She said she wants to bring other dudes into the bedroom and

me to stay in the living room.

Hey, since we're opening up, can I tell you guys something top secret?

Brother, everything's a secret when you're blacked out.

Right. All right.

We're going to let Trump do a third term. Shut up!

Yeah, it was.

But Trump found the original Constitution, and at the end, he wrote,

We're going to live forever!

Whoa! Yeah!

All right, sorry, gentlemen. It's your least favorite words in the entire

Last call. Oh, come on! Come on! So what's it going to be?

Well, I guess I'll drink a whiskey drink. I'll drink a vodka drink. I'll

lager drink. I'll drink a cider drink.