Original subtitles

Hot off the press.

The name of the writer and officer in the United States Navy is being withheld

at his request.

Because he knew by writing that op -ed piece he committed a crime. It's a clear

violation of Article 88.

Oh, yes, sir. It does appear to be contemptuous of the president.

Well, let's see, Lieutenant. He calls the president a criminal liar and

spineless buffoon.

Yeah, I think so.

Are we investigating, sir? Colonel.

This is going to be all over the city in an hour and around the world in two.

Second, that informs me the president's going to be a little testy about this

sort of thing.

Find out who wrote it. He will be prosecuted.

Wow,

harm with a slice like that, you'd be two fairways over.

Hey, who wants to play a hole of the easy way?

Well, I guess if I was a member of Congress, I'd have nothing but time to

practice my golf game.

Yeah, cocktails and golf, that's all we do.

Until we're voting our self -raises.

This is your idea of relaxation?

Listen, you needed to do something relaxing. I mean, ever since you got

from the carrier, you've been at loose ends.

Maybe I should take up stamp collecting.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Your grip is too weak, okay?

You need to turn them more to your right.

Listen, I met with my opposite number on the Senate Armed Forces Committee

yesterday. Like this?

Look where the V between your thumb and fingers is pointing.

West Virginia?

Uh -huh. But it should be pointing to your right shoulder.

I got a peek at the promotions list.

Damn. You were on it.

Commander? No, you skipped four grades to Vice Admiral.

Yes, Commander.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You were at your congressional liaison meeting this morning, right? Yes, sir.

How are things in the hell these days?

Definitely moving to the right, sir. These things are cyclical. Had your

seen the morning paper yet? Morning, sir.

No, sir. It wasn't mentioned. Why?

Op -ed piece.

Guest editorial.

The soiling of the presidency.

Our president, my...

Commander -in -chief is not only a physical and moral

coward, but... Now they're making this damn type smaller so they can

sell more ads.

...has imposed his own bravery -deprived character on the armed forces of the

United States as exemplified by, among other things, the...

It's a legally disgraceful restrictions imposed on our air war over Kosovo.

Written by an anonymous naval officer.

Contemptuous words, sir.

Exactly. Are you familiar with the concept?

Yes, sir. In 1993, an Air Force general, in a speech called The President Draft

Dodging, Pot Smoking, Womanizing, and Gay Loving, he was reprimanded, fined,

forced to retire.

I think our anonymous editorialist is entitled to some lead time as well. Why

don't you join the posse?

Yes, sir.

I told you on the phone we take pledges of confidentiality very seriously here.

We just thought it might be productive to me.

So I'd swoon over your uniform?

I haven't seen this many sailors since I watched Anchors Away on The Late Show.

Actually, ma 'am, I'm a Marine.

Excuse me.

So what you're trying to tell me is that the person who wrote this editorial as

a military officer is not allowed to criticize the president, but the three

you, as military officers, are allowed to interrogate a newspaper editor about

who's been exercising their right to free speech.

Oh, ma 'am, as military officers, we accept limits on our right to free

It's all spelled out in Article 88 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

I would hardly call this an interrogation, Ms. Wexler.

Well, if you came by to submit an op -ed piece, I'll be happy to consider it.

The reason officers aren't allowed to be contemptuous of civilian leaders is to

keep the military out of politics.

We don't have military coups in this country. I assume your paper would like

keep it that way. So you're telling me if I don't tell you who wrote that

editorial, I can expect to see tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue?

How do you know that the author of this op -ed piece is a naval officer?

Because he or she answered some questions we asked in a very convincing

He or she? You didn't meet this person?

No. So we're wasting our time here.

Well, you did get to give me a civics lesson.

Well, we didn't get the name, but it looks like you kind of had a date.

Liberals love me, Colonel. I'm a gentleman.

We could subpoena their records.

Yeah, and they'd scream freedom of the press, and the Supreme Court would get

around to deciding the issue sometime during Chelsea Clinton's second term as

President. If we're lucky.

Well, maybe you should ask her out on a date. You know, she never met him or

her, but ask questions, you got answers.

So how will they communicate?

Email. We can go to ISPs and companies that operate SMTP servers.

They won't have a freedom of the press issue.

Don't you love it when he talks like that?

Places that send and forward email. The hotbed piece had to leave a trail.

Go get him, sailor.

Okay, how about a break?

You want a snack?

Yeah? Okay.

Yogurt?

Mugugai pan from last Sunday?

Or dog biscuit?

Yeah, that does look bad.

Hello?

This is Colonel McKenzie.

Yes, I am a lawyer.

Now?

This really isn't my area. Our hospital council is on vacation.

We needed somebody right away.

Major Jackson apparently met you at a party or something.

I guess I come well -recommended.

We needed a lawyer.

This is, or was, Marine Sergeant Kent Davey.

He was in a car crash a few hours ago.

Reached us with severe internal injuries.

He didn't make it.

I'm sorry.

What's the issue?

Malpractice? The car crash? No.

The young lady over there, she's the sergeant's fiancée.

She says she and the sergeant were about to get married, and they wanted to have

children.

I'm very sorry.

She still wants to have the children.

Excuse me?

She wants us to extract his sperm.

Good morning, Gunny.

Mander.

Marie.

What the hell is going on in here? What are you doing in my office?

Mander, your office has been secured. You can't go in there right now.

Why not?

Sir.

I tried to call you. I came back here yesterday, as we discussed, and I found

the server that routed the op -ed piece to the newspaper.

Excellent. Where'd it come from?

Your computer, sir.

You don't think I did it, do you, sir?

No, but, Commander, nobody gives a damn what I think.

Hell, I tried to keep this thing in -house, but to avoid the appearance of

conflict of interest, the pursuit of the matter has been turned over to the

Office of Inspector General.

O -I -G?

Admiral, they land a crooked jag, their budget goes up. Oh, hell yes.

But, Commander, we're in no position to question their integrity since somebody

is but yours in question first.

Sir, I rarely lock the door to my office. Anybody could have gone in there

tampered with my computer.

Oh, great, great.

You didn't commit the crime, but somebody else under my command did.

Sir, all I know is that I didn't do it.

Well, good.

Hate to see you suffer the same fate as that Air Force general or Private

Callan. Who's Private Callan, sir?

In 1942,

he denounced President Franklin Roosevelt as a dirty politician trying

enslave the world.

Got 20 years in hard labor.

Of course, we were at war at that time.

You could probably get off with, say, 10.

Sir, I've been doing some more computer research. I'm not sure I can survive

much more of your research, but our systems are on a network that's always

connected to the Internet.

That means that each computer has a fixed Internet protocol number, which

that the hacker can sniff his way in, take control of a computer, send

email like that op -ed piece.

Exactly. So either some hacker randomly chose your computer or somebody's out to

get you, maybe to get even for something.

So I've taken the liberty, sir, of looking through your case files to find

anybody that you might have pissed... antagonized.

Defendants, witnesses, other lawyers, judges.

My own personal enemies list.

Yes, sir, it's in my office. If you could find the time to come and take a

at it.

I think I have some time right now, bud.

I thought it best to cast a wide net, sir.

Well, it's a good thing I'm easygoing, Lieutenant, or that would be a very

pile.

Commander Radd.

That's me.

Agent John Nichols, Office of the Inspector General.

A civilian.

That's right.

So I don't have an axe to grind.

Well, if somebody does, Agent Nichols, you may want to take a look through that

stack of files.

I've already read some files, Commander.

I found one that said that during a court -martial on the USS Patrick Henry,

criticized the president's air war over Kosovo.

Not directly.

Oh, you saved your direct criticism for the op -ed piece.

Did you say you were here to conduct an investigation or just to execute the

accused? I'm investigating, Commander.

Would you care to assist me in my inquiries?

Yeah, let's go to my office. I can't.

My men aren't through searching it.

You can use my office, sir.

So you deny the allegation?

I do. Despite the fact that the editorial came from your computer?

You know, Agent Nichols, somebody could have hacked into my computer and sent

the editorial.

One of these people?

It could be.

Corporal Arnold Hobson.

Convicted by you of getting drunk, stealing an armored personnel carrier

driving it into the Patuxent River.

Do you really think?

that he is sophisticated enough to identify your internet protocol address,

into the JAG network, hoax the firewall, identify your CPU, upload the

editorial, and route it to the newspaper.

I don't know. Why don't you find out?

We'll ask him.

In the meantime, Commander, I suggest you get yourself a lawyer.

Knock knock.

Come on in. Just catching up with my fan club.

You didn't do it, did you?

You know, it was my suggestion that led to the discovery the damn editorial came

from my computer.

Very clever.

Throw people off the scent.

You know, despite your lousy sense of humor, you may have just what I'm

for in a lawyer. I've just been told I need one.

I can't do it, Arm.

I've just been told that I'm a potential prosecution witness.

What? Agent Nichols found out about the joke you told at Commander Matoni's

birthday party last year.

What joke?

The White House intern... Close, but no cigar.

Yeah, you say I have a terrible sense of humor.

Excuse me, Colonel. Commander Rabb, you have a phone call, sir. Congresswoman

Latham, line four.

Rabb.

Sure. I can't get into my office anyway.

See you there.

I think the OIG will file additional charges if I take an early lunch.

I'm going to walk you out.

Where are you going?

Well, things work out. You cut the firm out of a dead man.

They told me they could do it up to 30 hours after he died.

And they put him in the morgue, in a refrigerator.

Look, Miss Weston. Laurie.

Laurie.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Then help me.

They told me they'd do it if you said it was okay.

This is an unusual request.

Well, other people have done it.

I read it in a magazine.

Kim and I are going to be married on Saturday.

We wanted children.

I wanted to have his children.

This is a terrible time, Laurie, but I've got to be blunt.

About what?

There's got to be some suspicion.

About what?

That you're after Sergeant Davies' survivor's benefits for the child you

have.

I will sign a paper. I will do whatever you want. I don't want money.

I don't want benefits.

I just want Atkins' baby.

That's what you want, but we have no way of knowing what he wanted.

Yes, we do.

I went home and got these.

He mailed them to me when he was on temporary duty in Guantanamo.

There.

My darling, I think about you all the time.

About the life we're going to have together forever.

I don't care where the Marines send me, as long as they send you with me.

You and our kids.

Daughters as beautiful as you are.

Sons who will love their mother as much as I do.

I'm the happiest man in the world.

He sounds like a wonderful man.

He wasn't exactly my first boyfriend, Colonel.

But with Ken, everything was different.

It was special.

Your child will never know him, Laurie.

Is that really what you want?

I mean, you're a young woman.

Someday down the road, you might meet another man.

Other single women have kids.

Lesbians, I mean, professional women go off to China and they are topped.

Why can't I have a child with the only man I ever loved?

Well, you didn't tell me you were bringing a friend.

It's an honor, Commander.

I read about your exploits over Kosovo.

Pushing that crippled plane by its tail hook?

A genuine hero.

Please.

Harm, this is Daniel Citron.

He's to sit on the National Security Subcommittee with me.

Ah, a genuine congressman. X, the voters decided I was ready to retire.

Now I run an outfit called the Roanoke Liberty Foundation.

I've heard of it. It's a big name in conservative causes.

principled conservative causes.

This is Suzanne Moore, our administrative officer.

It's an honor.

Really? Then you haven't heard what's been going on with me.

We have. That's why we asked Congresswoman Latham to introduce us.

Well, call me naive, but I would have thought that you and the Congresswoman

would despise each other's principles.

We're politicians, not fanatics. We can distinguish our philosophical

differences from our common humanity.

I only agreed to set this up because I'm worried about you, Harm.

The Navy will do anything to minimize its embarrassment, including throwing

to the sharks.

I remind you, Congresswoman Latham, you have a habit of underrating the Navy.

And how would you rate the way they've proceeded against you so far?

I believe they'll do the right thing.

We just want to make sure of that.

So we're offering you top legal counsel at no charge.

Well, sir, no disrespect, but you people are famous for being anti -Clinton. I

show up with one of your lawyers, I'll be proving their case against me.

Then don't use our lawyer.

We'll hire you a communist if you want.

It's still your money. We're not poisoned, Commander Rapp.

We've won very important victories for student let's go prayer, the right not

be forced into unions.

I brought you some copies of our newsletter.

Moral values, not market values. Raise our children with discipline and

devotion, not the wackily trendy guidelines of the education

I'm sure you agree with at least some of our issues.

I'm just not ready to be one of your issues.

Harm, you're going to be an issue whether you want to or not. At least go

battle with help.

Don't they teach something like that in Annapolis?

The fact that I'm innocent should be enough.

That's a lawyer's joke.

Right?

Huh.

You've had a dozen calls from reporters, and Tyna's been sending them to me.

What's he sending them to you for?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe he thinks my accent will confuse them.

Look, if there's anything you need... As a matter of fact, Mick, there is.

No worries, mate.

Come on in.

Take a load off.

This used to be my office.

You want it back?

I'm not sure it's going to help with the queso.

You inherited my old computer.

You've had time to crack the password.

So I wrote the op -ed piece.

Now, would that be before or after I killed JFK?

Somebody wrote it, Mick.

Wouldn't be a crime if you did it.

Unless it defamed Her Majesty the Queen.

See, that's our law, mate.

You find this all very amusing, don't you?

No, I don't. Well, you haven't stopped smiling since I came in here.

Because you've accused me of libeling the President of the United States and

framing one of my fellow officers for the deed.

Now, if I didn't find this all very amusing, I might take a poke at you,

He's going to be all right, Lori.

I know.

I just, I can't stop thinking about what they're doing to him.

The procedure was completed a few minutes ago. A urologist looked at the

and they appear to have good motility.

Are you Dr. Cannon?

Yes.

And this is Lori, right?

I can't believe your nerve.

Ma 'am, you are?

Melinda Davey.

Mrs. Melinda Davey.

Mrs. Davey?

That's right. I'm the wife of the man the doctor here just cut up.

Lori? They're divorced.

Not until Friday, he's still my husband.

Or he was.

That's why you're getting married on Saturday.

It was some kind of waiting period of formality.

Right. So formally, I'm the widow, not to mention the victim of a husband

-stealing tramp.

They say you removed my husband's sperm. I want them destroyed.

Colonel? I want them to destroy it right away, or I'm going to march down to my

lawyer's office and get a court order to make you do it.

Help me.

Please.

So did you rule out Commander Brumby, sir?

For the moment.

You think Tyner might have got a little giddy one night?

I don't think Tyner can spell hypocrisy, sir.

You know, one of the witnesses in the Mosley court -martial took a swing at me

after court one day.

William Johnson, sir. I believe he's still in the service and he's on the

and they've not deceased since August.

You have voice activation on your computer, bud? No, sir.

Well, who's typing on it then?

Give your friend harm my condolences.

Tough break?

Did I put my foot in his mouth?

It's a mental game, Commander.

That may be, but I still get to hit something with this big club.

I heard you had a mysterious intruder on one of your office computers.

And the Inspector General is too busy investigating you for criticizing the

President to look into it. Where do you hear that?

You have friends, Commander.

Why don't you let me be one of them? One of my friends did look into it.

Apparently that signal bounced around the world a few times, including off a

couple of satellites.

It'll take a lot of resources to track down whoever sent it.

We have a lot of resources.

And a lot of political baggage, sir.

Would you rather take help from an organization that participates legally

vibrant democracy, or be railroaded, all on your lonesome?

No press releases.

No public announcements.

You just help me find this son of a bitch quietly.

You make the rules, Commander.

We just want to help.

Hey, Harb.

Congratulations. I heard you're on the promotion list.

I think we can consider that temporarily delayed.

This whole thing is ridiculous.

They'll find whoever wrote that editorial.

Well, they don't seem to be looking very hard right now.

What is that?

Frozen sperm.

And I got in trouble for telling a Clinton joke.

Don't start.

This was removed from the body of a dead Marine. His fiancée wants to use it.

His almost ex -wife wants it destroyed.

Last time I saw her, she was running off to get a court order.

You're hiding it from the court?

No, I don't know that she actually got an order. I'm just keeping it safe.

Next to my lasagna?

Frozen sperm.

Oh,

some kind of do -it -yourself kid, right?

Excuse me?

Commander Rabb, they told me I could find you in here.

Yeah, let's go to my office.

These two want to be alone.

Excuse me.

This place is so impressive.

Just a bunch of lawyers. I'm sure you see a lot of those in your business.

Not with three dozen combat missions under their belt.

I'm just so excited to be working with you, Commander.

Harm.

Harm.

Is this yours?

Were you wearing it when you flew over Kosovo?

Yeah.

Unfortunately, no. I have to wear it when I come into the office.

Did you find anything, Miss Moore?

Suzanne.

Suzanne. Did you find the joker who sent the email?

As a matter of fact, yes.

We did a worldwide search, hired analysts in three different countries.

That message went through two pornographic websites on Malta alone.

So where'd it come from?

Do you know anybody in Leavenworth, Kansas?

What exactly is your connection with Bob Palmer?

He kidnapped me, sir. He tried to kill me. He tried to trick me into shooting

former girlfriend.

He's a sociopath who's made me his hobby, Colonel. Well, he's safely locked

now. I don't see how we can urge him.

Where is he exactly?

Right in here.

He has a computer.

We have a labor contract with the National Park Service.

Our inmates take reservations for campgrounds.

Palmer has a long history of fraud and violence, Carly.

On the outside, not in here. We have to motivate them to behave.

Working this unit is a reward.

Harm?

Long time no see.

Don't write? You never call?

You write me, though, don't you, Palmer?

I wanted to cheer you up.

Heard you got in a little bit of trouble, huh?

Boy Scout like you.

These are dedicated terminals.

They have no link to outside networks.

You want to bet, Colonel?

Excuse me, Palmer.

What are you doing?

Global search, sir.

Physical and moral coward.

Highlight of a recent op -ed piece supposedly written by me.

There it is, Colonel. Under a file called Harmbaby .hi.

Sloppy, you Palmer, not to have erased it.

Why would I erase it?

I liked it so much, I downloaded it from the newspaper.

After it was published.

You're telling me this Palmer character is some kind of evil genius.

Manipulates the world from his cell, leaps over tall buildings. I'm telling

that he's very smart.

We did what you asked and looked at his computer.

The date stamp on his copy of your op -ed piece... His op -ed piece.

...is from the day after the editorial appeared.

So he reset the clock on the computer. It doesn't take a genius to do that.

Commander Rapp, the newspaper's website sticks a few invisible bytes into every

article it uploads.

They call it a digital watermark to track the usage of its material and to

protect its copyrights. And those bytes were on the copy in Palmer's computer.

That's right.

He didn't send the article to the newspaper.

He got the article from the newspaper.

He's playing with it.

If you have any other evidence to offer in your defense, I'll be happy to

examine it.

Are you sure this is legal, ma 'am? There's no court order

yet. I just think it'd be prudent to keep it somewhere where no one can find

You got room in there?

Here, look.

You don't have to keep the breast milk.

I can defrost this roast so I can cook it this weekend anyway.

It's weird, isn't it?

The mystery of life.

The urge to reproduce.

Dating. Should I call him on Thursday if he doesn't call me by Wednesday?

Blah, blah, blah, and it all comes down to this.

I do want to have children someday.

Hey, women do it all the time.

Well, I guess I'll give the intact organisms a few more years.

Men? Men.

What's the status on this thing anyway?

Well, the almost ex -wife has got a hearing date coming up. The girlfriend's

trying to raise money for a lawyer, and the only injunction that we have to

abide by is not to inseminate anyone with it.

Then we won't, right?

I've not gotten a final report yet. All I've gotten so far is secondhand stuff.

Pentagon sources say you are pressing for prosecution because you were

personally offended.

For me personally, I didn't care if people say whatever they want to say

me personally.

It had no impact on me.

And I thought, well, here's a guy who's served this country, and, you know, so

what if he doesn't like me and he doesn't know me from Adam's off ox? So,

know, he's just repeating something he's heard.

But will the officer be prosecuted? They're going to make a report once they

have all the facts, and then there will be some action taken.

Ain't it grand to be famous?

No, sir, it isn't.

What have you heard, sir?

You're going to court, Marshal, Commander.

We promised you no press conferences, Commander.

The President didn't.

Good thing, too.

Because we know how that man hates to break his word.

So what's next?

We have a press conference?

Or better yet, a parade?

I defend you to the best of my ability, if you'll let me.

And yes, that may require taking your case to the public to make them see how

outrageous this prosecution is.

War hero hounded by dastardly President, I see I fit right into your program,

don't I?

And we fit yours.

You want to be acquitted.

And Mr. Pappas is the finest attorney you will find inside or outside the

Beltway.

We'll leave you two alone.

I spoke to the Navy.

They'll let it drop if you resign your commission.

Out of the question.

Good. So, Mr. Pappas.

What is your strategy, aside from making the public see how outrageous blah,

blah, blah?

I know you're a fine attorney, Commander.

But do you really think it's wise for you to try to help me win your case?

Yes.

Okay. But I'm not going to split my fee.

They have two things.

The electronic trail from your computer to the newspaper.

Suggestive, not conclusive.

And the congruence of the attitudes expressed in the editorial with your own

attitudes.

Are they congruent?

Some are, some aren't. Let's see how it looks.

Pretend you're going to be on the stand.

I will take the stand, Mr. Pappas.

Fine. Then we'd better practice.

Commander Rapp, moving beyond your party jokes concerning the president and Ms.

Lewinsky, 15 million Americans told those jokes.

Only one is on trial.

Commander Rapp, do you think the president is a coward?

I have no idea.

But in Kosovo, when our planes were ordered to fly three miles high for

own safety, while people were being massacred on the ground, you believe

those orders were cowardly, don't you? I believe they were overly cautious.

What's the difference?

All I know is the aviators who flew those missions were not cowardly. So who

was? Objection.

Overruled. It would be sustained. Maybe.

Commander Rabb.

Do you think the president is a liar?

I believe that he has not always been completely honest.

So, you think he's a liar?

I think he has lied.

How do you feel about the fact that he's confessed to behavior that wouldn't be

tolerated by military officers under his command?

Commander Rapp.

Commander.

How did it go?

Terrific. You know, even if you're convicted, I'm not saying you will be,

even if you were, it wouldn't be completely terrible.

This whole thing is going to make a name for you.

Something good could come of this.

Like what?

Have you ever thought of running for Congress?

No.

I'm sorry.

I'm just trying to think of good things for you.

But... They're things that I think are good, not what you think.

I'm standing like an idiot, aren't I?

Suzanne, can we talk later?

Yes, good, good.

Later, we'll talk.

Are you her lawyer?

No, I'm trying to find a resolution to this.

The judge will give us a resolution this afternoon. Destroy that tank and

everything in it.

My husband's dead. It's cruel to make me even deal with it. You don't have to

deal with this. You could have stayed away.

Oh, and you're the expert on staying away. You couldn't stay away from my

husband. You were already separated.

You expect me to believe that?

That's the truth.

You're a lying slut.

Ladies.

Mrs. Davey, what if Miss Weston could prove to you that she didn't meet your

husband until after your marriage was over?

How can she do that? We were living near Washington. She lives in Washington.

Not that year. She was teaching English in Japan.

We were stationed in Japan two years ago. When she was in Washington.

We'll get you her passport. We'll get you her employment contract.

Really?

These are some letters that your husband wrote to Miss Weston after your

separation was official.

They show what your husband wanted.

Mrs. Davey, what do you say?

No.

You never want to chill with me.

Excuse me, Commander.

Come on in, Gunny.

This came for you, sir.

Thanks, Gunny. Also, if I may say, sir... Speak your mind.

I know you didn't write that editorial, sir.

But if you did, I just want you to know a lot of Marines stand behind what you

said, sir.

A thousand percent.

If you said it, which you didn't.

Thanks, Gunny.

Aye, sir.

Well, they were right. I could have run for Congress.

On whose platform, sir?

Theirs.

You know, Bud, I realize that they're using me, but I'm using them, too.

The lawyer's good, and their publicity machine is great.

All right, I'm sorry for my sensitivity -deprived attempt to cheer you up, but

all of us, including Pappas, think you should meet these reporters we've

to our office tomorrow morning.

Suzanne Moore.

These are all A -list names, sir.

Major outlets.

They tell me it's a media trial, bud.

If I want to save my career, I take it to the media.

Are you really going to go through with this dog -and -pony show, sir?

Bud, you help me out of loyalty and friendship.

Everybody else has a price.

I'm sure you'll do what's right, sir.

Sensitivity -deprived attempt to cheer you up.

Do you have a big place to put that?

I'll treat them like my own babies, lady.

What's going to happen to them, Colonel?

I don't know. The judge wants to hear full arguments in a couple of months,

but... It may not matter.

Why not?

Well, Lori Weston called me today.

She wasn't feeling well. She got a home test.

She's pregnant.

Well, that's wonderful.

Well, what about that little guy?

Little guy?

Little girls?

They may not make it, Harriet.

Colonel? Bud. Hey, who's that guy and what's in the cooler?

The mystery of life.

Give us a minute.

No, bear with us just a moment, folks.

We'll hear all your questions answered, I promise you.

I'm glad you decided to come.

It wasn't an easy decision. I know.

But it was right.

I promise.

Sorry for my sensitivity -deprived attempt to cheer you up.

I am.

I really am.

Our president, my commander -in -chief, has imposed his bravery -deprived

character on the armed forces.

What are you doing?

Sensitivity -deprived, bravery -deprived.

Pretty unusual word construction.

I don't understand.

The newsletter.

The wackily trendy guidelines of the education establishment.

The op -ed piece.

Sleazily disgraceful restrictions.

You like to use adverbs to modify your adjectives.

Are you saying that I wrote that? Pretty distinctive style, Miss Moore.

Harm. Shouldn't be too hard to find that electronic trail now that we know where

to look, huh?

So where'd you tend it from?

Computer in your office? That would certainly make it easier.

No.

My laptop.

Why me?

Who better?

You're everything he isn't.

The poster boy for Clinton bashing.

Quitted or convicted.

Martyr to your cause.

Your cause too.

You don't know that.

Harm.

We have to show these people up for what they really are.

What are you?

Organizations like this are trying to put the country back on the right track.

Then I'll stay on the wrong track, thank you.

Okay, think what you want.

But I didn't even commit a crime. I am not a military officer.

I am allowed to write an editorial criticizing the president.

But you're not allowed to commit telecommunications fraud or to

military officer.

or to conspire to interfere with the administration of justice.

I'm sure the Clinton Department of Justice will think of a few more things

charge you with.

This will help him.

You don't even like him.

It doesn't matter if I like him.

He's my commander -in -chief.

Now I'm ready to talk to the press.

I will bear true faith and allegiance to the Constitution of the United States

and the country whose course it directs.

I take this obligation freely and without any mental reservation.

And I will well and faithfully discharge the duty to the office I am about to

enter. So help me God.

So help me God.

You are hereby promoted to the rank of commander.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah, Rab, have you ever once in your life done anything the easy way?

No, sir.

Yes, ma 'am.

Yes, ma 'am.

Oh, they tell me that the Grand Canyon is just exquisite this time of year.

I need to call Frank in from the newsroom.

I've got an email here that looks like the record of a Swiss bank account held

by Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr.

How would he accumulate $800 ,000 on an officer's pay?

Congratulations on your promotion.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Congratulations, man.