Original subtitles

And so she left your toy on the ground?

Yes.

And how did that make you feel?

I mean, your toy was a huge comfort for you.

And so you're in the playground and you're having... Huge meltdown.

Well, yeah, you're feeling very intense emotions.

And it sounds like this is the first time that you can remember where you

really intense pain, loss or grief of any kind.

Yes.

So this is a real opportunity for your mother to step up and build a bond or a

connection that says, hey, Callie is safe with this woman. Callie can depend

this woman in a time of need.

Hey, you're not doing anything wrong.

And you're not betraying your mother.

You're just telling me what happened and how it made you feel.

And it's okay to talk about our feelings, isn't it?

Yeah.

Would you like a break, Callie? We can always come back to this.

No, I'm okay.

Just keep going.

I'm proud of you.

Okay, so you said that your mum looks angry and comes up to you and she

said, you want to embarrass me, don't you?

And then she said, a good girl must keep herself controlled.

And then as she's dragging you to the car, you both notice the toy that you

thought you lost.

You say, Mama, Mama, right there.

And she just pulls me harder and shoves me in the car.

And this is the last time you cried in front of her, wasn't it?

Willingly, that is.

You've always kept your emotions controlled, or over -controlled.

You know, in all of the years that I've taken care of patients, I've come to

believe that eating disorders are a reflection of our pressing need for

And our relationship with food or our rigidity with food is merely a symptom.

Now, your first caretaker relationship was riddled with control issues from

mother.

I think that healing that mother wound will really help you to release.

that need for control.

I think you need to recreate your mother -daughter bond in order to reset your

relationship with control.

Whirlpool is a really great way to induce that.

Would you like to try that with me, Kelly?

Yeah.

Okay. There are many mother -daughter bonding exercises that happen in early

childhood. Now, you're 18, so they won't exactly have the same effect.

But I do think these exercises could greatly impact your psyche and help you

release some of these control issues.

Now there are a few exercises that I have in mind.

We could swaddle you. We could brush your hair.

I could tuck you into bed.

I could sing to you.

There's feeding. Are there any that you feel most comfortable starting with?

I want you to maintain eye contact the whole time.

Okay? It's essential.

Okay.

How does that feel?

Really good.

Good.

Okay.

I think we could move on to the next exercise.

Would you like to try hair brushing?

Sure. Okay. Let me unwrap you.

Have a seat. You can pop your legs up.

And just relax.

That's it.

Just relax.

You are safe.

You will love.

There is nothing that you need to do and nothing that you need to be

in order to earn my love.

There is another exercise that we could try.

You could suck on my fingers like I'm pacifying you.

Something that's done a lot in early childhood.

I can't visit you anymore.

Um, well, Callie, I respect your decision, but I also just want you to

you can talk to me.

I won't shame you.

Shaming of any kind is not welcome here, in fact.

Dr. Rose, I think I have feelings for you.

Normally I would say these feelings are transference, but I would be dishonest

if I said that I didn't notice those feelings.

And that I didn't feel those feelings myself.

Yesterday was very intense, to say the least, for the both of us.

That's exactly why I have to leave.

It's all my fault.

I should have never started grinding on you like that.

I'm just all kinds of fucked up and I don't... Hey, now, I don't want to hear

you say that because it's not true.

Secondly, healing is not about growth.

It's about opening your heart to love and acceptance. Growth is merely a

symptom.

And lastly, I don't want to give up on you.

I want you to experience that mother -daughter bond, Callie. I won't abandon

in your time of need. I won't.

So if you stay...

Just know that there is nothing that won't stop me from being with you and

loving you.

I love you too, Dr. Rose.

Look, why don't we try some of those exercises again, okay?

But don't worry about the feelings, just accept them as they come.

What would you like to try next?

Um... The breastfeeding?

Okay.

But I will keep my shirt on to minimize chances of arousal.

So I just want you to suck on me and maintain eye contact.

And through the whole process, I want you to just think about the fact that

you're receiving from me is love and acceptance and nourishment.

Okay?

this unclothed.

I will release my breath and I want you to just keep doing what you were doing

because you were doing such a good job.

What am I doing?

Thank you.

and just let me take the reins a little bit.

Yeah.

I think we still have some more things to work on there.

Okay.

Anytime next week.