Original subtitles

(Birds chirping)

(Leaves rustling in wind)

(Rope creaking)

(Birds continue chirping)

(Woman coughing)

(Sniffing)

(Coughing)

- My hands are a bit cold, so...

- Doesn't matter.

- All right, great.

I'm just gonna go right here.

You're doing great.

Have you experienced any withdrawal symptoms?

- Yeah, right now.

- And how's your mood been, on a scale of 1 to 10,

rating of 10 as--

- Four.

- OK.

And are you experiencing any suicidal ideation,

any thoughts of harming or killing yourself?

- Yes.

- Do you have the means to do that?

- Yes.

- (Whispering): OK.

(Pen scratching on paper)

Do you wanna tell me what that plan is?

- No, if I could just get my methadone soon,

then it wouldn't be a problem.

- It seems to be a really important thing.

- Yeah, I'm just waiting to get it, and I really want it.

- Yeah. - I need it right now.

- OK, we'll get through this,

and then we'll get the doctor in to see you.

- OK, let's go quick.

- And relationship stressors, conflict,

which would include custody, environment,

finances or housing?

- Yes.

- Do you-- - I can't see my daughter.

- That must be hard.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

(Talking indistinctly)

(Giggling)

(Talking indistinctly)

- Yeah, he got me all confused.

(Laughing)

- Hi!

(All talking, indistinct)

(Dispenser whirring and liquid pouring)

(Men continue talking, indistinct)

- (Pharmacist): Thanks very much.

- (Man): Thanks!

(Nessa spitting, gasoline pouring)

(Lawnmower droning loudly)

(Droning stops)

(Scoffing)

(Cicada buzzing)

- That's all.

(Droning resumes)

- (Woman): Hi, can I help you?

- Um, we wanted to apply for no-income hous--

low-income housing.

- Low-income housing.

- OK. Uh, is it just for the two of you?

- Yes.

- OK.

(Paper rustling)

There ya go.

Uh, do you have any children?

- (Nessa): No, um... No, we don't.

- (Blaise): No.

- OK, subsidized housing is, basically,

for families and seniors,

although, recently, we did open a unit for single people.

Currently, it's full right now, though.

- Well, then why did you even tell us about it if it's full?

- Oh, to let you know that one is available

and that we can put you on a waiting list and--

- How long is the list, and how long do you have to wait?

How many names do you have on it right now?

- It varies.

Uh, there's about a dozen on the list.

It varies in the times. Some are short stay.

- So that's what, 2-3 years you have to wait?

- No, it would be more of a short stay.

Some have a faster turnover

and are able to get out and open up an availability.

- Well, that's no good

because we don't have anywhere to go right now.

We don't have a year or two

to wait around to find somewhere to live.

You know, we'll just, like, sleep outside.

That's what we do, sleep outside.

We'll sleep in a car.

- It's really unfortunate that I'm not able to help you more

than to give you those directions.

- She's only 19 years old.

- There's nothing more that the housing can do, though.

I'm really sorry at this point.

The only options that we have, like I said,

we just recently opened a unit for single people.

- Yeah, well, I knew that she was gonna say all that stuff,

so we're kind of wasting our time.

We should probably go find something better to do,

try to find somewhere to stay.

I knew that that was gonna happen.

I didn't have any faith in coming here whatsoever.

It's actually just disappointing

when you come to places like this

and they tell you things like that.

(Wind whistling)

(Cicada buzzing and birds chirping)

(Dog barking and howling in distance)

(Crickets chirping)

(Kissing)

- We're gonna leave?

- Mm-hmm.

(Nessa giggling)

(Dispenser whirring)

(Birds and insects chirping)

(Knocking on door)

- Do you wanna get your lawn mowed today?

- I'll have to check with my husband. Dave!

- (Man): Yeah.

- Do you want the lawn mowed?

- Do me a favour. Leave here before you--

- I wanna do you a favour.

That's why we're here. We wanna mow your lawn.

- Do me a favour. Take your girlfriend and mower and leave.

- I'm trying to do you a favour.

- I'm telling you right now. I'm not gonna say it again.

- Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot.

- Yeah, we did when you put your foot inside my house.

- We can do the whole thing for 15 if that's better.

- No, it's just...

- That's as low as we can go.

- I don't really know you and...

You know what?

I'd rather give you $5,

and then I wouldn't be worried about other things.

- Yeah, we're pretty worried

about that too ourselves, actually.

- Pretty worried about what?

- Peace of mind, security.

- Yeah.

I guess the best I can do, not knowing you,

is I'm willing to give you 5 bucks

and send you on your way.

- You can take it if you want it.

I'm not putting it in my pocket.

- No, but I bet you'll darn well use it when she takes it.

- Hmm...

(Children laughing)

Could you ask one of them if they live here?

- Um, do any of you guys live here?

Guys?

- Do any of you kids live here in this house?

- (Boy): Yeah!

- Is your mother home?

- Yeah!

- (Nessa and Blaise): Can you go get her?

- I'll be right back, guys!

- Mommy! Aw, she can't hear me.

- Could you go in and get your mother?

- I can't because she can't hear me.

Knock there very hard.

(Doorbell ringing)

(Children shouting in distance)

- Can I mow your lawn?

- In this heat you're mowing lawns?

- It's fine.

- Well, I don't have much money.

What do you need it for? Are you back on drugs?

- I'm on the methadone program now.

- I see.

I don't own a mower.

- We got that.

- Who's we?

- Me and Blaise.

- So, are you pushing the mower in this heat or him?

(Lawnmower droning)

- Does your girlfriend want a drink of water?

- Do you want a drink of water?

- (Nessa): If you got one, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, sure.

- Do you wanna take a break?

Take a break.

Aw, my legs are fucked!

(Grunting)

(Breathing heavily)

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

- What's your name?

- I'm Nessa.

- You did a good job.

- Thanks.

(Child giggling in distance)

(Sniffing)

- I'm gonna go in.

Just let me know when you guys are done.

- OK. - Yeah.

(Crickets chirping)

(Grunting)

(Dog barking in distance)

Can't wait to get the fuck out of here!

- How far do you think we could go?

- How far do you wanna go?

- Far.

- Then we'll go far.

(Birds chirping)

- (Pharmacist): Unfortunately, you can't start

a methadone program elsewhere

while you still have a balance with us.

- How much is it?

- Let me just bring it up here.

(Computer mouse clicking)

Uh, looks like your tab is $150.

- OK.

OK, thanks, just give me a moment.

(Sniffing)

(Dispenser whirring, liquid pouring)

*

(Cicada buzzing)

* *

(Lawnmower droning, muffled)

(Droning stops)

(Droning resumes)

(Droning stops)

(Scoffing)

- I'll have to fucking suck somebody's dick or something!

(Blaise chuckling)

That's supposed to be funny.

- You could get 2 weeks out of it.

You could get 3 weeks out of it. That's about it.

You know, like, you can't say about rings...

Once they go, that's it. She's not gonna run no more.

- Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that.

- A lawnmower, it's like a motor of a car, it only lasts so long.

- Why don't you show me what you just did?

(Lawnmower droning)

- Look, it's not gonna run very long.

(Droning continues)

(Droning stops)

- Well, how much--

- She's not gonna last long.

- What would you charge to get it fixed?

- Uh, I would have to replace the whole motor.

About $60.

(Sighing)

- $60.

How long would it take?

- Uh, well, if I can find the right motor around here

and get it up and running,

probably about 3-4 days.

- I don't know man, um...

See, we couldn't even get it going,

and now it's smoking,

and you're saying it's gonna be $60 to fix it?

- Yeah?

- Do I even look like I have $60?

Does she look like she has $60?

- Do I look like I fix 'em for nothing?

- No, but I don't know, man!

It's awfully weird that you start it up,

and all this smoke's coming out of it.

- That's 'cause I know what I'm doing.

- Well, I think we know what we're doing too.

We did everything we were supposed to do.

- Well, then, if you know what you're doing, you don't need me.

- Well, we'll go to somebody else.

- Well, go right ahead.

That's fine with me, because I don't fix 'em for nothing.

- Well, do you think...

That's not a very good way

to get customers and have a business.

Just do something different...

- Well, I just got the thing running for you!

It wasn't running for you at all!

- Come on.

- I know, but you're saying

it's gonna be, like, 60 bucks!

And I don't think so. I feel like you're lying to me.

I do. I don't think you're telling me the truth, man!

I think you're just trying to get more money out of us

than it would actually cost to fix the thing.

- Well, there's a guy out in Sydney River

if you wanna take it to him.

- Yeah, I know!

- Well, that's just fine with me!

- All right, well...

- Yeah! Good luck with it!

- Well, that's what it is!

- All right! That's the way she is!

(Birds chirping)

- We'll get it fixed somewhere else.

(Cicada buzzing)

(Dog barking and howling)

(Grunting)

(Grunting)

(Whispering): Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Fucked up!

I'm gonna fuck it all up!

(Sniffing)

(Rain pattering)

(Lighter clicking)

- Blaise...

(Crickets chirping)

(Knocking on door)

- (Diane): Come in!

(Sighing)

- We'd only be staying a couple weeks.

(Fly buzzing)

(Buzzing stops)

(Sighing)

- (Female counsellor): You're going to write a list of goals.

And you're going to sign off on that list

between you and me

about how you're gonna prepare for this path.

(Counsellor talking, indistinct)

(Printer beeping and whirring)

- I can see in your eyes that you're just looking down on me.

And you actually don't care.

Once I walk out of that office,

you just go on with the next person,

and you just put me out of your head.

You don't consider my situation.

You don't care about me as a person.

You don't understand what I'm going through.

And if you did, if you really did,

you would be a little bit more sympathetic with me,

and you wouldn't be bringing up

all this rules-and-regulation shit that you hide behind.

You're using that as a shield, man,

and that's not fucking fair!

- Sir--

- You don't understand how a person like me lives.

You have no idea.

And if you knew, you wouldn't do it, either.

You couldn't live one day in my life.

- (Nurse): The last time you asked for take-home doses,

you didn't have a permanent residence.

- I--I got a place. It's, um...

It's 1362 Victoria Road.

(Pen scratching on paper)

- OK, I'll just read over the contract,

and you'll have to agree to the conditions before signing.

"Methadone is a long-acting narcotic

"which can be very dangerous

"and must be kept out of the hands of children

"and non-tolerant or non-opiate dependent persons.

"A single dose taken by someone not used to taking narcotics

"can be fatal, especially if taken by a child.

"For this reason,

"I agree to store take-home doses in a locked box

"in a location where they are unlikely to be stolen

"or accidentally taken by another person.

"I will transport my carries to and from the pharmacy

"in a locked storage box.

"I will not share, administer to others

"or sell my methadone dose.

"This will result in immediate discharge from the program.

"I will notify the police immediately

"if any of my methadone is lost or stolen.

"If I do not report this,

"I may be required to return for daily witnessed ingestion."

Do you agree to these terms?

(Bottle lid clicking)

- (Blaise): Push down and twist it.

(Nessa swallowing)

(Bottle lid clicking)

(Refrigerator door closing)

(Key jingling)

(Dispenser whirring and liquid pouring)

(Birds chirping)

- OK, so just turn a bit.

Make sure that's tight and your hair is back. OK.

- Come over here.

When you're taking it down,

you gotta pull it forward and then tilt it down,

and make sure your other hand's there

or you'll hit yourself in the face.

And then you put it in the bucket.

You think you can do that one by yourself?

Just watch the grill, OK?

Tilt it down.

There you go. Watch your head.

Now tilt it up.

Now go put that one in the bucket too.

And I'll take down this one because you gotta be tall

or you're burn yourself on the grill and it hurts like a bitch!

(Water splashing)

I'll see my little pumpkin,

gonna get a little drunkie-poo...

just enjoy life.

We have to go to the makeup stores or I swear to God!

What? Eww!

- That's bullshit, Mark!

- I'm too close. Fuck!

- That's fucked up!

- Oh, I almost had him too! Fucking asshole!

(* Techno on video game )

- Imagine this with PMD?

- (Woman): Nope. - Nope!

- I'd be in the fucking TV!

- Oh yeah?

- A lot of people die from that shit.

Fuck that! Nah, stick with my weed.

Snort the odd pill.

- This is your last one.

- Who? His? Blaise's?

- Red. Whoever's red.

This is the last time. - That's mine.

- How long have you been living in this neighbourhood?

- About 5 years.

It's not bad. A lot of kids.

- I used to live right there.

- Kids are good.

- Yeah. Just a lot.

- Probably some drama, though, eh?

- Oh, there's always drama. - Always.

- Cop car every couple days.

It's like a soap opera. I like to watch.

- Kids come blowing in and out.

- (Chuckling): Oh fuck!

(Woman talking in distance)

(Bicycle clattering)

(Sniffing)

- I think I should go.

(Sniffing)

- What do you mean?

- Leave Diane's, like, now.

- Don't be talking crazy.

- It's not crazy.

Diane only took me in because I come with you.

- We're leaving soon anyway.

- Would you just fucking stop talking about that?

- You said we're leaving soon.

- And you're still talking about it.

- Yeah!

We're supposed to be leaving soon. You said we would.

- Can we just fucking talk about something else?

Jesus fucking Christ, Vanessa!

(Crickets chirping)

(Sniffing)

- Your napkin should not be like that,

because if someone goes to grab it,

they're gonna grab this instead of the cone and it's gonna fall.

So just fold it in half and then put your cone in it.

But you're always gonna get your napkin first,

because people will watch you, and it's not sanitary.

(Chuckling)

(Machine whirring)

Don't put any in the cone.

Go along the rim.

Slow!

Remember to go slow.

(Machine whirring)

Don't make as wide circles.

- (Katie): It's gonna end up dropping on her.

- I know. I'm gonna roar.

(Woman chuckling)

(Grinder squeaking)

(Dog barking in distance)

(Snoring quietly)

(* Man singing folk song on radio in distance *)

- (Slurring): Where'd my cigarette go?

I just had a cigarette.

(Blaise scoffing)

- You look fucked up.

- Just tired.

Well, I don't wanna do a urine drug screening for the clinic!

Don't be giving me this shit!

And don't be bringing this guy in to talk to me either.

- (Man): Sir, you can get your methadone at Island Recovery.

- I can't get to Island Recovery.

I can't get on a half-hour bus ride

to go anywhere right now to get anything.

I'm sick. I need my medicine!

- This is protocol.

Anyone caught stealing

is automatically debarred from the store.

We're no longer obliged to supply your methadone.

- Well, guess what? You got me hooked on this shit!

Now, when I need it, you won't give it to me.

You got lots of methadone back there.

You have my dose. Give it to me now.

- I'm sorry. - Give it to me.

- You need to show up at Island Recovery

or you'll be reported.

- Give me my fucking dose!

- I'm sorry, sir, you will have to leave.

- Well, what if I don't leave? What if I just stand here?

- A customer's waiting. Good day, sir.

- What if I do that?

You're all going apeshit

over a fucking $5 bottle of cough syrup,

because I needed a little bit of codeine!

Because you don't mix the fucking doses strong enough

so I can get better on them!

And if I go to prison...

(Whispering): What the fuck are you doing?

Stop shoving me around.

What the fuck is your problem?

Nessa, fucking stop it!

What the fuck are you doing?

(Crickets chirping)

I'm fucking better than everybody else around...

(Muttering indistinctly)

(Boy giggling)

- (Boy): Bam, bam, bam, bam!

(Boy grunting)

Whoa!

(Birds chirping)

(Grunting)

(Hissing)

(Roaring)

Bam!

Bam, bam, bam!

(Giggling)

Bam, bam!

Bam!

(Imitating explosion)

(Dog barking)

(Imitating gunshot)

- Whoa, this is so cool!

I wish I had one.

- Well, I took it from Nessa.

- Well, you gotta take it back home.

- I don't think I can bring it back, Donald.

- Why?

I just gotta move this chair...

right here.

(Key jingling)

Don't drink that. Don't do that.

Don't!

(Dog barking)

You're even sickier.

You're even sick.

You're even sickier.

- If someone has a piece of hair in their food,

they're gonna give you shit.

So next time you come to work, make sure you're clean, OK?

- OK. - OK.

(Grinder squeaking)

- (Mark): You guys still going out West?

(* Techno on video game )

- (Slurring): Uh, I don't know anymore.

(Controller clicking)

- Does she even know where you're at?

(Lasers firing on video game)

She's probably looking for you.

Fuck!

Aw!

What's that you got? It's juice, is it?

You didn't take it yet today?

You seem pretty sleepy.

- I'm just tired.

- Aw, fuck it, man!

You wanna fall asleep there, go ahead.

Don't matter to me.

You're welcome here anytime.

I only have a few people at my house,

but you guys are cool.

- Yeah, thanks, Mark.

- Yeah, no problem.

This fucking game is fucking addictive!

You want a shot?

- A shot?

- At the game!

(Mark chuckling)

It pisses me off, but I can't put it down.

You get stoned off it?

- Holy shit!

- You still get a buzz on from it?

- Oh yeah!

- Lola, get!

Fucking dog!

As soon as someone comes in,

she's right in their fucking face!

You all right? - Yeah, I'm just...

- Do you need to call somebody or something?

- I don't have anybody to call.

- Do you wanna crash on the couch or something, man?

- It's all right here, but the dog is kind of...

- Move, Lola! Go!

Move! Go!

(* Music volume increases )

(Muffled): Do you wanna crash? Blaise?

Blaise? Blaise?

(Lasers firing)

Blaise?

Blaise!

(Line ringing)

- (Woman): Regional Hospital.

Hi, Regional Hospital.

Hello?

- (Katie): Right, so now you gotta fold it up

and use that fork over there, OK?

All right, so, grab some tartar sauce and coleslaw.

I think that's what it said on the slip.

Oh, the tartar sauce is in here, and the coleslaw is down there.

Just grab one each.

So, make sure you put that in the bag.

And you can also grab a knife.

There's a knife right over there, OK?

All right, thank you!

Make sure you clean up your mess, OK?

Just put that there.

(Tap running)

(Vomiting)

What you doing?

Are you OK?

You not feel good?

No?

Do you need a break?

Yeah? All right.

(Pen scratching on paper)

- (Nurse): And how are you sleeping and resting?

- Fine.

- Blood-borne pathogen status?

- Hep C. - OK.

And relationship stressors, conflict?

Custody, environment, finances, housing?

- Yeah.

- Which ones?

- Relationship.

- Relationship?

Anything specifically?

- OK.

Um, are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms?

- No.

- Absent. That's good.

Any impairments to what you want to do

or what you need to do in your daily life?

- (Whispering): No.

- OK.

And your mood, on a scale of 1 to 10,

with 10, of course, being the best, happiest day of your life

and everything's perfect

and 1 being the absolute worst,

where would you rate yourself today?

- Three.

- Three. OK.

And are you feeling any thoughts

of wanting to harm yourself or kill yourself?

OK. Do you get take-home doses?

OK.

(Dispenser whirring and liquid pouring)

(Man talking, indistinct)

- Here you go, Vanessa.

(Man talking, indistinct)

(Grill sizzling)

- How you doing?

- Fine.

- Fine?

I have the 4 here, from when I started my 4th year,

and then somebody stuck the "ever" on it.

I guess I'm gonna be here for a while.

(Slurping and swallowing)

Hey, we got another order.

- (Jessie): What is it?

- Uh, we got small vanilla.

- Small vanilla?

- Yeah!

- Do you wanna make that?

- (Vanessa): e was in ICU not too long ago.H

Yeah, I'm still here.

(Cars whooshing)

1B?

What does 1B mean?

(Bird chirping)

Where's that?

The psych unit, where is it?

- (Woman): Yeah, I'm super sick.

Are you sick?

Yeah, it's been awhile...

since this morning, so...

I heard he's got 12s and 4s,

so that shouldn't be too bad.

- (Female therapist): I'd like you to ask yourself...

if it's functional being a couple right now.

He broke into your lockbox,

jeopardizing himself and you

at a time when you were trying to take a step forward.

And you've expressed before

that this is a reoccurring pattern of his.

- I said he's OD'd before.

- He tried to take his own life just a few months ago.

- That's different.

He was in jail then.

- We've discussed before

about how you can enable this behaviour by always being there.

You're not the first person to lose take-home doses.

That's not my concern here.

I'm concerned about your boundaries.

What's too much for you?

- Don't know.

- Vanessa, in my experience,

it's very difficult for couples to come clean together.

It can be very threatening when one person changes.

Let me ask you...

do you think you may go back to Transition House?

The women's shelter is non-punitive.

There's no shame going back.

- I don't want that kind of help.

- Are you waiting for him?

I'm very concerned

that you're making the same choices over and over

and expecting a different result.

And that's a recipe for insanity.

You've lost an awful lot, and it's a lot to carry around.

But you have to know

it's not your responsibility to keep him alive.

(Dispenser whirring, liquid pouring)

(Door beeping)

(Plastic rustling)

(Woman chuckling)

(Door beeping)

(Cash register beeping)

(Coins jingling)

- I wanna pay my tab too.

- (Pharmacist): Sure.

How much do you wanna pay?

- All of it.

(Keyboard clicking)

(Machine whirring)

- (Katie): OK, we just gotta get a bag.

Thank you.

(Cash register beeping)

(Paper rustling)

(Customers talking, indistinct)

Hi, how are you? Good!

- (Jessie): Oh, I forgot to tell you,

there was a young guy,

he came here yesterday, and he was looking for you.

- (Katie): OK, sure!

- Tried to bum a smoke off me, but I didn't give him one.

(Cars whooshing)

(Cicada buzzing)

(Bird squawking)

(Crickets chirping)

(Dog barking in distance)

(Dog howling)

(Dog howling loudly)

(Footsteps approaching)

- You're here!

(Sighing)

I just got out of the hospital.

I have a shitload of energy right now. It's amazing!

(Breathing heavily)

Are you sleeping? Did I wake you up?

You look like you were sleeping.

- Blaise.

- Are you tired?

I have, like, so much fucking energy right now!

Oh, holy shit!

It's like...

"Gong, gong, gong..."

(Slapping chest)

(Breathing heavily)

It sounds like blood is pumping into my ears, like...

Boom, boom, boom, boom!

It was dripping down my face like this...

I was crying blood.

It was like tears.

It was real blood.

And I looked at myself

in the reflection of a spoon that I had,

and it was, like, horrible, freaky kind of shit!

It was really fucked up!

I'm glad that you didn't see it,

'cause it would have fucked you up forever!

I can't...

I don't even wanna think of looking at myself

with blood coming out of my eyes.

I never looked like that before.

(Birds chirping)

(Groaning quietly)

- What happened?

- I tried to cut it off.

You gotta go to work and make money...

so you can get an apartment...

and invite your friends over.

You should look at yourself in the window...

see what you look like now.

(Wind blowing)

(Wind continues blowing)

(Grinder squeaking)

- (Katie): Hi, how are you?

- (Child): Hi, can I have a large cone...

( Love Letter Ballad by Mess Folk *)

* I wrote a letter toda *

But I didn't know what to sa *

I wrote a letter to yo *

A love lette *

Even though you hate m *

Yeah, you hate m *

O *

O *

I wrote a letter toda *

But I didn't know what to sa *

I wrote a lette *

I wrote a lette *

It's to yo *

But I didn't know what to sa *

I wrote a letter to yo *

Even though you hate me no **

Closed Captions MELS