Original subtitles

THE ROMANCING STAR

Am I fast enough?

Fast?

Am I fast enough?

Where should we pick up Ugly?

The corner there!

Miss, I'm a Baptist College student.

Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

You are too old to be a student.

I have been repeating. I start my questions now.

What kind of magazine do you read?

Porno magazines!

What hobbies do you like?

Play Mahjong.

What kinds of men do you like best?

Fat and short, less than 5'3" (160cm)

With small eyes, big mouth...

But drives a Ferrari.

Honey, hop in!

Be patient, Baptist bid.

Quick, smart ass!

Or else we got the blame like hell!

Don't I have a car?

This is a car?

Yeah, you are a man, a short man.

Mine is a king of the road, have a race?

Race with me?

Do you want to bet?

What is the stake?

Three hundred, that's all I have

Well, three thousand for your three hundred.

Turn on the Turbo, we are behind.

Don't worry, plenty of time.

Catch him, quick.

They are still at the back! Okay, to hell with you!

He threw sugar cane at me!

Stop!

My God.

Do you know you were at 90 miles (140km)?

Sir, I am a good citizen.

The car in front was more than 100 miles. (160km)

I wanted to tell him not to drive fast.

Shut up, I will call the control!

Drive carefully.

- Thank you, Sir - Don't speed up.

Thank you.

We will lose!

No, we will take the short cut.

We won...

What's up?

Out of petrol!

No petrol, I will have your three hundred.

DN3627, you are charged with dangerous driving!

Follow me.

Give me money.

We won, give me the money.

These three damn things, it's 9:10!

What are they doing now?

It's hot!

Well, Uncle Ken is not in office yet

How do you know?

Can't see him, he's not in.

Who opened the shop?

Mr. Mystery.

Don't get too close, I'll kill!

Come...

Come...

I was kidding...

Kidding? Whom do you have fun with?

I've retired, when I was in the underworld,

Where the hell you were, huh?

Everybody knows me, "Young Mark"

None of my business, I go back to work.

None of his business?

They raced, not me.

You bastard!

Loyalty? Talk with Brother Ho!

Excuse me, is uncle Ken in?

I am Ken, what's the matter?

Uncle Chung in Taiwan told me to come here.

It's a letter from him!

He gives me trouble all the time.

See, the words are so small.

When I had my business in Taiwan...

Business, what kind of business?

You were in jail!

Don't think that you are still the kingpin!

No kingpin here!

I haven't been a kingpin for ages!

But you are stepping on my toes.

Hard to get a job since you were in jail.

But, I always collect rubbish!

He is my cousin, "Big Mouth Fat"

My step brother, "Traffic Light"

Ugly, my ex-girlfriend's brother!

- What's your name? - Ah Ho.

- Brother Ho. - Brother Ho.

Uncle Ken, can I work here?

Well, as uncle Chung is my friend,

with my friendly character...

Of course not!

No jobs for me?

Yes, I can't let you stay here.

Brother Shing will stab me if you stay here.

I stay out of it, I give you $10.

$10?

Uncle Ken, how could you do that?

You can't treat him like that!

Then how?

At least $15, $10 can't take him to T.S.T.

No small changes, you give him first.

- Come in and get your pay later. - Brother Ho.

You are my idol!

People call me "Young Mark". I've saved a bit!

You take it all!

Thanks!

Pay day.

Smart ass!

Don't point at my head.

I swear, no one should point at my head.

When did you swear?

When I was eating with my mother.

She used to point at my head when I said something wrong.

And forced me to finish all the rice.

And my father helped me, but it was worse.

She asked my grandmother to point at my head too.

And I had to finish the rice left for some days.

From then on, I swear,

Never let people point at my head.

What if people do?

Well, get my pay!

Help! They pointed at my head!

Why did you point at his head?

He pretended to be the boss.

I am not asking why! You won't give him pain like this.

Stab him like this.

No...

Ken Kee Garage. Ah Fat?

Ah Man...!

Man, it is me, they are my mates!

3:00 p.m. usual place!

Good, see you later!

- Bring one more girl out! - Hanged up

So sweet! Is that your girl?

Her mother!

Do you date with her or with her mother?

They are two in one.

For the last 3 years, the three of us have always been together.

Can't walk hand in hand?

Sure, I can hold her mother's hand.

So long! When uncle Ken comes back, we'd be in trouble!

Big Mouth Fat, you always speak foul language.

Will you behave when seeing your mother-in-law?

I can't speak foul language in front of her, she will get angry!

She teaches cooking on T.V.

I know, Mrs. Due!

That's right.

Don't tell her I have just smoked!

Over there.

Get me the application form for the extra curriculum course!

You said snooker?

No snooker!

Ah Fat!

Auntie!

Call me Mrs. Due!

Auntie, they are my colleagues.

He is Mr. Traffic Light, the engineer!

He is Mr. Ugly, General Manager.

Well, technician and boy.

Ah Man sweetheart.

Did you smoke?

Stupid!

No... no, we didn't smoke...

Smoking causes cancer, I warned you.

Sit, Auntie.

Sit!

Your turn!

Tomorrow is mum's birthday, come at 6:00.

Mum said you can play Mahjong with them.

If there are enough players, you will help to serve the guest!

I know!

And what else?

Mum likes a golden peach of 5 taels.

She asked us to send that as her present.

No, I picked that.

Auntie, you should be named Mrs. Greedy.

Ah Fat, choose your friends to help you get success!

Bad friends are no good for you.

Auntie is always honest.

To have a big mouth, die even faster!

I forgive you for being rude.

Midgets are always psychologically unbalanced.

Ah Fat, either we go...

or she goes, you make the choice.

Of course I go!

I don't want to stay with those uncivilized persons.

Man, let's go!

Auntie, let me explain!

Before your two friends apologize to me,

you can't see Man again.

- Mum - Man...!

Go away, bitch!

You really get me into trouble!

What, you want us to apologize?

The fact is, you must!.

You two must go to the birthday party with me!

- Big Mouth Fat! - What's the matter?

- What can I help? - Damn,

Ah Man and her parents are coming!

Auntie! Uncle!

My friend Wong Yat Fat, his mates, my dad!

- Come on! - Auntie,

- Sorry for what we've said yesterday - Sorry auntie,

We said something wrong!

Yeah, auntie, forgive them!

How can I not to forgive!

They look like triads!

Help yourself!

Ah Fat, thanks for the golden peach, jade pendent & diamond watch.

Help yourself!

Golden peach, jade pendent, diamond watch?

Well, mum said she was upset.

She wants more gifts to ease herself.

Don't forget to give her money later.

ls your mum nick-named Greedy?

So boring, let's go!

I am not bored!

I mean you are boring!

You feel boring, me too, let's go!

I can be alone with you at last.

Man, come, come to see uncle Sam.

Coming, auntie!

- My daughter! - So beautiful!

Drink it, no cheating!

Coming!

- Brother Ho! - Ugly,

what a co-incidence, cheers.

Brother Ho, something is wrong!

Somebody hid a pistol in the flower pot!

So?

Have you watched the film "A Better Tomorrow"?

After hiding the pistol in the pot.

He slid the door open, and fired.

Crazy, why hides the gun if he wants to fire?

Ah... No...

Where is Ah Shing? I want to kill him!

He is not here!

Don't fool me, I know he's in Fung Lam Court!

He's in Fung Lam Court, but here is Wu Dor Kok.

Wrong place!

Where is my gun?

Where is my gun?

Damn, so many pots, which one?

This is Principal Chan!

Councilor Kan and Priest Fan.

This is Doctor Wong.

Introduce to you.

Ah Fat, I don't know they have a big bet.

I've lost more than $10,000, can't pay for it!

You ass hole, I told you not to gamble.

I thought I could make money.

Gambling is not a right way to do, right, uncle?

Let's take a seat over there!

Good!

I don't mean that, auntie!

Shut up, you have caused a trouble!

Please sit, Ah Man, come here!

You two get lost!

I don't mean it, auntie!

I do want to give you a chance!

But I've found that you are hopeless.

Ah Man will never see you again!

Mum!

Tomorrow, I'll get you a pair of glasses.

So you will look for a better boyfriend.

Congratulations, cheers, brother Ho!

What are you congratulating?

Cheers, brother Ho, I am not drunk!

Go away.

Come on.

Right, go with your two "Pals"!

Auntie, how about the cake...

Give it to your girls at work!

No, it's only for you!

You are boring, nothing is worse than your wife!

- Let's have fun, go! - That's shit...

Ah Fat, cheer up!

Everybody knows your heart is broken!

Bullshit, I brushed her off!

Yeah!

You should be happy!

If you marry her, her mother will shorten your life.

That's right!

If I were you, I'd have enjoyed myself.

It's not bad traveling, but no good to go alone.

- Well, you pay for us! - Right!

Damn it, it's my money for wedding.

You can save again.

Let's use your money for traveling...

I'll plan how to use your money!

You've got the money!

It's not right!

So you deny!

I don't know what you are talking about!

So you want to frame me up!

Don't go...

Do you want to join the super value tour?

Right... 30% off!

OK, pay first!

Any benefits?

Of course, you leave in the morning, back at night!

You stay at first classed hotel, with a sauna room too.

3 meals a day, nice coaches.

Floor shows every night, surprise show!

That sounds great!

- When do we leave? - Tomorrow!

Malays has nice views...

The beach is like picture.

Look at that...

Insane!

Morons!

Hey, let's go on board!

I said not to worry!

It's a good tour by the look of the coach!

What did you say?

I said it's only a so-so tour...

It's OK, big bus!

Please get in, thanks!

I go first!

Do you want me to beat you up?

Don't be upset!

It's an old car!

Please, these are for those two big bosses!

Please get off!

Why do they have special seats?

Talk it over later, come!

So troublesome!

What's wrong?

Get in...

What do we do?

They've paid a special charge!

So they can have special seats?

But it's a super value tour

- Right! - I was right,

you are from H.K, he's from Tai Wan!

The are "Sings", so, it's Kong Tai, & "Sing"

Thought I am Ching Har & Cheung Ai Kar would be in this tour.

So you pay on words!

I don't know, I take care of H.K's part.

Here goes to my friend, ask him.

I leave it all up to you!

I respect your H.K. boss, it's OK!

It's full!

Where do I sit?

I am so scared!

Everybody, here we are...!

Get down!

Fatty, let me help you.

Alright...

Over there, quick!

Everybody, it's your room!

Sleep early, you have a long day tomorrow!

Where is the sauna bath?

It's only available from 12:00-14:00

It's hotter than sauna if you close the windows at those hours.

That's a cheat!

We have been ripped off!

It's like hell!

Bingo!

- That's a dead body! - What?

Dead body?

- You nuts! - It is the dead body of a fish.

Close it!

Is it really an Air Conditioner?

Turn it on, it won't hurt!

What a damn thing, we can't sleep!

Turn it off!

- Me! - Turn it off!

So tired after the long trip, have a rest!

Where do you want to sleep?

Are you ready to perform now?

What?

They say there's performance everyday!

Your turn tonight, tomorrow the Taiwanese will perform.

Put on a show, you must be crazy!

Crazy!

Well, give me $100 each, I represent you.

It's just like robbing money!

No pay? Put on the show then!

I'll pay, I write you a cheque!

Quick!

Any show for the adults?

Yeah, see how they castrate the cats.

Castrate the cats?

Right, adults only! You can't see that in Hong Kong.

Five hundred.

Thanks, we just stay here!

Thanks, good night!

Are you out of your mind, give him $500?

It's a post-dated cheque!

The date is 1997

Com'n

- Friends - You 2 stay here!

- Hey, - What?

Get two Indians!

This is our room!

You have to share the room! 3 in a bed.

The morning call is at 6:00 A.M.

Three in a bed?

Okay.

I sleep here!

What about me?

How are you my friend?

You're handsome...

You are not a pal!

Get up!

What's up?

This is the famous statute Buddha.

It's a must for visitors.

Because of his magic happenings!

Gee, I only ate a banana in these two days

I'll die for no food!

I am hungry!

Here is your food

Don't hurry, you'll mess up with the chicken.

You call it a chicken?

It is the famous "Tasty Chicken"

Not for eating, just for looking.

Take a good look, I'll take it away!

Next table, please!

When can we really eat?

Soon, it is coming!

Help yourself!

Enjoy your food.

You should cover your mouth before sneezing!

Don't fight.

Wait...

Give me!

Can't help it!

Damn it! It's tissue!

Who said joining this tour?

You!

Didn't expect that I'll be ripped off!

Well, you may meet a nice girl.

I don't want to waste money!

He told us not to bring money with us!

How can we date girls without money?

Ha, you don't need money to date girls.

I'll show you how.

Miss.

Who the hell are they?

Master, let's have a look!

Dig... no!

- My master - No problem!

Master, take a rest!

What are they? So funny!

Remember to shut up, you spoil things if you speak.

Try to be cool!

Can't stay that way long.

Try to enjoy looking at the sky.

Enjoy!

He must be rich, he has three followers.

They look silly, money means nothing for morons.

No, they look funny!

Someone wants to be in love!

I bet you want to be in love too!

Or, why not be a lesbian?

Forget it, I'll help you!

Stop, body search!

Yes, body search!

I only come to see your master.

I'm sorry, he has to search you!

Our master is damn rich, his uncle always wants to harm him for his money.

Get away!

Is he dumb?

Our master plays dumb in England!

He won't talk easily!

He likes to tell through his body language

What did he say?

He said he has been enjoying for 2 days

I see, that is Tung Tung, I am Man Chi.

You want to have dinner with us, right?

You are clever, I am Traffic Light

He is Ken, he is master Ricky

- Me...? - Not of importance!

Tell me your name?

- Ugly! - Are you teasing me?

Miss!

We stay at the presidential suite.

See you tonight!

- So hot! - Tung Tung, Man Chi!

Where had you been?

We are waiting for you to film the commercial!

Get changed, quick!

Hurry up, don't be lazy!

It's expensive, don't break it! They're from sponsors.

You can't afford to pay for them if you break it.

Sit down slowly, the dress is expensive.

No washing and ironing, it is of $90,000.

Don't scratch the diamond ring, $900,000 and something.

Don't get the wax in the bracelet

It's expensive, more than $300,000.

What does it mean, Miss guardian?

Call me Angry!

Yeah, I am angry now.

King's life for 30 day, it's a lie, we're monitored by sponsors.

Can't sit or sleep.

Can't even eat or quit.

Quiet!

You two have signed the contract.

You must obey the orders for 30 days.

Do the T.V. commercial 3 times a day.

30 days' life in hell!

I may sue you for defection!

Let's shoot!

Hi, I have joined "King's life for 30 days"

The food is sponsored by "All Right Rest".

"All Right Rest" has tasty food!

I am so tired!

I am Traffic Light, who are you?

Please wait!

Traffic Light!

I'm Tung Tung!

Master wants you to come down to the pool!

Good, five minutes!

I am hungry, nothing to eat for the whole day.

Know romance can't feed, let's pay for our food.

You are rich!

- Yeah...! - So?

Shut up, listen to me!

You said the wrong thing every time!

What's going on?

It's not bad here, we sit here!

Good!

What are they doing?

Master said it's a romance night.

He plays good pantomime!

We play better, why not play a game?

- Really! - Show me!

You stand in the middle!

We play "Cleopatra"!

- Good! - Are you ready? We start!

Clear? Oh! Pet! Trash!

How dare you sponge on me!

Come on, it's just for fun!

You damn thing, Ah Fat, you show me!

Right!

Master, show your best act.

- You can make it. - You can,

let's go over to that stage.

Come on

OK, let's start!

An ambitious youth was addicted to drugs.

Drugs ragged him into poverty,

The wind was that strong and he could not move,

So he thought of committing suicide!

After some thoughts, he didn't want to die.

Wanna die, don't wanna die!.

Don't really wanna die!

Wanna die, don't wanna die!

It's my turn...

Don't panic! Suddenly, he heard something...

The voice told him back to his ex-lover.

Then he went...

and found the ex-girlfriend, a fat woman.

And smelly!

She said she could have money, but wanted him to sleep with her.

Let me do it!

The young man is feeling happy,

pain, excited, and happy!

And sexually provocation,

and internal struggling in his mind...

Struggling, and struggling... and he left the woman...

But this woman...

It's your turn.

Me again!

But the woman was cruel, she broke his leg and hand.

With one broken leg and hand, what can he do?

So he used one leg,

to fight with the villain.

And he broke the left hand too, he was despair.

And he wanted to kick at the villain.

Hey! How can I do it?

Shut up, let's thank the audience!

Great!

Well-done, we have to leave now.

- So early? - Early?

Plenty of time, ring me tomorrow!

No attraction at all.

I've fallen in love!

Oh yeah...!

Get up!

We are not going to any sight seeing.

Hurry, back to Hong Kong!

What's wrong, it's a seven days tour!

You nuts, your guide has gone.

Who are you?

I am Traffic Light!

Master has to go back to Hong Kong now.

Leave your phone number to me please!

4858375.

OK, see you in Hong Kong!

Bye!

Hi, it's time for phoning in.

Everybody has got problem in love!

Who hasn't been in love?

My consultation service in the afternoon

Is for lovers to tell me their problems.

Tell me your problem now.

The phone number?

Your problem is your look! You can never solve it.

Are you working or listening to the radio?

You have good figure.

What is he doing?

He's got another girl, you can get another man too.

Radio station, love consultation?

C.R.I. do you wanna talk to the host?

Good, but turn off the radio first.

There are feed back, wait!

Speak out!

I am Miss Pak, who are you?

I am Ah Ken, I am so lucky to talk to you.

Ah Ken, what can I do for you?

I met a girl in the tour last time.

And I think I love her.

So what do you want to do?

I wanna date her!

Are you good enough?

Of course, I am rich, tall and handsome.

How old are you?

17!

What is the noise?

Well, it's my dog's sneezing, it has got a cold.

Shut up, Susanna!

Right, you can surely win if you are handsome!

What is the problem?

The problem comes from my two enemies.

One is Traffic Light, the other is Ugly.

So?

They look bad, Traffic Light gambles,

No money, he is a bad guy!

I am decent, so I will be easily trapped.

Is he talking about you?

Damn it, you ask him to go to hell.

What about the other one, Ugly?

He is even worse

He is a dwarf, he is horny, too.

His mouth smells

They are insane to date the same girl with me.

What? You are insane!

Sorry, there was some interference!

That means you have two rivals!

Miss Pak, how can I sweep them away?

And doesn't show that I am mean?

They work for me!

That's simple, triple their payment

Feed them with fine food and take them to nightclubs.

Then they will think that you are undergoing an evil plan

They will be afraid and resign, what do you think?

Not bad, I want to dedicate a song.

For whom?

For my lovely Man Chi.

Wish her pretty forever.

OK, I play a song...

English song, and old one!

It's called "Only You"

You...

Bastards, stay where you are!

Uncle Ken, no more fooling around?

Well, just having some exercises!

Anything wrong?

Engine oil, help me to turn it around!

OK!

You like dancing?

No!

Don't know? There is an O.D. night in my disco.

Two complimentary tickets! Come for fun.

Do remember to come, okay?

It's no use for me.

Two tickets are not enough!

Give it back to me, I want to give it to Ah Fat.

To him?

Girls, Miss Tung and Miss Li,

is now showing you the facial exercise.

After that, you won't have the ripples.

Get ready!

1,2,3,4, turn left & right, pad on the forehead,

Eyes, roll, mouth, move and the nose, move,

twist the ears, hit the nose.

Show people the eye lids,

Blow the left, blow the right, take a deep breath.

Open the mouth, twinkle the eyes!

Shrink, shrink and keep the mouth still

Relax, relax, make yourself pretty!

Susan, I am so tired.

Oh, you went for a trip!

Left me all alone.

Did the boys chase hard for you two?

Tung was after by a rich man!

What about you? Three guys are after you!

Tell me, are they nice looking?

Hers is quite nice.

Those three are talk, short and fat...

You are lucky, I can't enjoy love!

You have agreed to marry fatty, haven't you?

He proposed many times.

I surrendered at last!

I am more eager to get married now.

When he calms down, he may not love to marrying you.

Congratulations, you don't have to work anymore!

Don't let the lady boss know that.

I am going to teach her a good lesson.

I have something good for you all!

This is for the skin, sell it for $100!

You get $30 for commission!

That's enough for us!

The last product was bad for my mother's face!

Right, the customers may not trust us again.

So, be confident!

I don't care, I will deduct from your pay!

You have to sell two boxes at least!

Don't count me in!

Don't be a shit stirrer, I will fire you!

Tung, put on my eye-brows!

What a bitch!

More than pretty salon!

Man Chi?

Speaking, who is it?

It's Traffic Light, why are you in the beauty salon?

Ah, it's Tung's beauty salon!

I only drop by to help her!

Ah Fat wants to date Miss Tung!

Is she free?

Ask Miss Tung to a ball?

Tung!

Phone!

Oh, she's sleep!

You do me a favour, okay?

Thanks!

You deserve it!

Bye!

Who was it?

Traffic Light's master wants to date you!

I have accepted!

Gee, I have no clothes for the party.

Let's think!

Well, I have to go for the private tuition!

Haven't finished the boss's eyebrows.

OK, I won't come back to work again, keep contact, okay?

So quick?

Miss, is your boy friend smart?

Sticky nose, back to your work!

Is it your first date?

Of course not!

The third time!

Does he think that you are rich?

I have got no chance to explain.

Before you make sure you like him, don't lose face!

He will know the truth, cause I have no clothes!

That's easy, my sister is in the States.

She has a lot of beautiful dresses.

That's no good!

Never mind, my parents are in business trip now.

I am the boss here, tell him to pick you up here.

"Intensive Hypnotherapy".

Drip... drip.

Ah, you are not Big Mouth Fat...

You are Mr. Crazynova.

No, you are Mr. Casanova.

You are very literate and civilized.

I am a decent gentleman.

Will he be OK like this?

There are codes, if you hear "Rich",

then you have to wake up, back to normal.

I understand thoroughly!

Good!

Can I go now?

Where is the car?

At the entrance, I go with you!

Thank You!

Man Chi, what about tonight?

9:00 p.m. wait till I come!

Man Chi, you were using the phone to ask for whether report?

What about tonight?

11:00 p.m. See you there!

My sister is coming down, wait!

Thanks!

Miss Tung, you look charming!

Remember to come back early!

Mum & Dad will wait for you!

- OK! - Little girl!

You are cute!

I can't stand your boyfriend!

Please!

Bye!

The moon is like a lemon!

Bye!

This way, please!

See, it's an old fashion ball, exciting!

I think so!

Mr. Chiu.

Hi, thanks for coming!

Kenny, I always support your functions.

He is Hamphrey Burger, and this is Ingrid Burman!

I bet you will win the grand prize tonight

So many nice people here, I can't win!

What do you think of this cup? Nice looking?

You'll surely win, touch it!

Good Evening!

Hello!

Miss Tung, what drink would you like?

Are you kidding or what?

Did I make you angry?

No!

That's a release, I like to be rude to you!

Only then you're angry.

That really emotionally moves people.

We didn't order the champagne.

It's from Mr. Chiu.

The flower is from Mr. Chiu too.

Hello!

He is the famous "Diamond Single".

I don't know, W.Y. Cheung is the most handsome guy in my mind.

Hello... the old fashion dancing ball tonight,

we'll have a king of tonight.

And, we have a race of old fashion dance too.

but not Cha Cha, Tango not Pachang.

But the Orange Dance in the movie!

Thanks!

OK, pass the orange by your neck!

But don't use the hand!

There's an envelope in front of you.

Those with the word "Play", please come out!

Oh, we can play,

- Let's go! - We are lucky!

Please go!

- We have the word too - Right!

- Let's go - OK...!

You can't play!

Well, there six guests can play our game.

Thank you very much.

But you can't drop the orange!

Or You'll be disqualified.

Get ready!

Up!

Let's start!

Eat!

Poor him, he deserves it!

What's up? Where is the orange?

- Are you OK? - Mr. Chiu.

Excuse me!

I need to peep!

You are great!

Don't get upset, it's a game only!

I, Chiu Ting Sin, swear!

That I will have your girlfriend in 10 days.

You have bad breath, I am sorry.

Go, go...

You wait and see!

Go, good!

My god, I have won the special prize of the race! I am "Rich"!

It's none of my business! Lower your voice, scum!

Be careful people will blackmail you!

Are you alright?

Is there any death caused by eating orange?

What is the news?

No one wins the orange dance.

But I've got the result of the King of Tonight!

He is...

The champion is Mr. Chiu Ting Sin...

The two in front!

That's us!

We have won, let's go!

Congratulations, what's your name?

- Call me Ah Fat! - Hello, Mr. Fat!

- She is Tung Tung! - Hello, Tung Tung!

This thing blocks the road, what is it?

The Mic!

- Mic? - Mr. Fat,

You are the champion tonight.

Can you say something?

Of course, idiot!

Is everybody happy?

Happy!

Me and my chick are happy!

Your chick?

It's Okay!

Any cash prize?

- There are prizes for you. - It's OK, just prize!

Damn it!

And you don't have to pay for entry in the coming year.

So mean, I have nothing to say.

Save your breath, see you, bye!

I like what you just said!

I came here to meditate often!

Aren't you afraid of being robbed?

Robbery? So many cops around!

No cops around, I rob!

You dirty my dress!

See, so bad of being rich!

We need to behave and mind our appearance. What a trouble.

Right, I can't even go to the road side food stalls.

or shop at the cheap commodity street!

So, to be poor is better.

Congee!

Somebody is selling Congee!

Right, what is Chai Yu?

I always eat shark fins & chicken, I haven't eaten Chai Yu before.

ls the taste nice?

Let's pretend to be poor and try.

Good idea!

Two bowls of Congee please!

One is enough, we are poor!

Right, one is enough!

Do you want deep fried pastry?

Two deep fried pastries!

One is enough!

We are poor, one is enough!

- How much? - $4!

Can you change for a thousand? Oh I have 4 dollars here.

Come, over there!

Bastard, how dare you fool me!

Come!

You like it, you have it all!

In fact, many couples are workers!

They are as happy as the rich.

Yes!

If we are poor, what do you think?

Sure you'll fall for me.

What?

I mean we can share everything.

Comet! Make a wish!

It's good luck to make a wish seeing the comet

What wish have you made?

To get rich!

You don't have money?

Yes, I have got much money.

You're greedy to wish for money.

I can donate to the community chest, if I am richer.

What wish did you make?

I won't tell you!

Don't ask me!

I'll force you to tell me!

Oh no!

Help!

My lovely little girl.

He loves her wholeheartedly.

Because of the willingness

They got married.

- Young ones... - And separated by the sea.

Young ones...

Why are you so happy?

Last night was raging, look!

Oh yeah, who kissed you?

Man Chi!

I bought the tonic with all my pay.

Then she kissed me!

Good stuff, where to put on?

Man Chi said anywhere you want to!

I put it on for you!

I feel my face wrinkles.

Well, just feeling cool!

Oh my god!

It's shrinking upward.

Help me to pull it down!

It is toxic! Never use it!

Can't breakthrough the love barrier...

I was lucky last night!

Somebody kissed you too?

Hold it!

Have a close look!

Who kissed you?

That's your dream girl!

He is missing Man Chi.

You lied, your mum kissed you!

I was with her last night!

When were you with her?

9:00 p.m., we went to the 9:30 p.m. show.

She left before the end of the show!

Of course, someone tall and handsome was waiting!

Sure she preferred giving up the dwarf.

I bought the tonic with 1 month of my pay!

What does it mean?

It's right, one kissed for each box.

So it's not right!

Why?

Why... tell me why.

Can't be good, can't be a lady!

Did you went out with Man Chi?

Did Man Chi kiss you?

Was it happened last night?

Right, she was with me at 7:00p.m.

She told me to keep it secret!

Of course, she dated him at 9:00 p.m. & him at 11:00 p.m.

And kissed them after selling the boxes!

Crazy, I didn't have to buy tonic kissed!

Man Chi asked for my kiss, but I refused.

At last, I kissed her just to comfort her.

Goods, please!

What kind of goods?

Who is Lau Tin Kin?

There he is.

We are now delivering 200 boxes of tonic!

You bought 200 boxes?

Right... so what!

I tell you, she only loves me!

You don't have a chance!

Ugly, I suggest joining force to go against him!

Auntie, they are insane!

Man Chi, let's go out.

Right, where?

Tsimshatsui, same place we went last night!

Right, good, see you later!

I'll be right there after the shower!

Why why tell me why, want to be a good girl!

Put in some perfume!

Why... tell me why.

Someone is looking for you!

Who is it? I am having a shower!

Police!

What are you after?

I don't know! Just come out and see him.

That's too much, none of my business!

200 boxes only, got them all in!

I am showering, don't disturb me!

Don't ask for help, I won't give you a hand.

- Damn you! - Hold it!

Damn you all!

Hot enough! So comfortable!

Do me a flavor, help yourself!

You may kill him!

Doesn't matter, he has a long way to go!

Only shrink up to this size, don't worry!

They must have put the tonic in the tub

I must do something!

Help!

Hey, fix up the switch for me please.

- Only the switch! Okay. - Be quick!

No problem.

Where is the toilet?

In there!

There?

Sex maniac!

Sex maniac!

Uncle Ken!

How are you?

Those two bastards want to kill me!

There's too bad, what shall we do?

It's him...

The lady said he had indecent exposure!

That's my brother, he has been mentally retarded since young

He is seriously sick.

He is mentally retarded, sir!

Mentally retarded?

He really doesn't know anything!

We said this when young!

Till the end of life.

I will walk hand in hand with you.

Love penetrates when young.

Makes me forget about freedom.

We can't work hard together!

How to break through the barrier.

Can we have one another forever.

Who can rely on for this life.

Don't mind giving up the future.

Close to me!

The lines sound familiar...

It's a tragedy!

Right Miss, do you want to sue him?

How can I!

Well, I have to leave!

Thanks, Miss, the switch is fixed!

See you!

Buy some food for me!

I don't have time, I give you $1,000.

Go to get what you want!

Thanks!

Don't mention it!

See you!

You made use of any chance to make money!

Damn you, I want the money for medical care.

Call ambulance.

I would ask them to pay for it.

Your target is Tung Man Yuk, 22!

She is a beauty consultant, getting $2,800 a month

A part time tuition, $1,200 a month.

5"6 tall, figure, 34" 23" 35"

5 1/2 shoe size, little bit short sighted

She has a mother, her father left home 10 years ago!

She loves rotten bean curd, fish balls

A mate called Man Chi, beauty instructor too

What about the guy?

He is Wong Yat Fat, nick named Big Mouth Fat

30 something, an immigrant from China

A technician, no fixed income! His boss is mean

He is 6" tall, sleep naked, no girlfriend!

They are both pretending to be rich

Mr. Chiu, as told from the computer analysis

If you show Fat's real face to Miss Tung,

Your chance of dating Tung Man Yuk will go up to 55%

I have only 5 days

I must have her, or else I will lose face

Your standard?

Something like... some clothes are found on the floor, you get it?

I understand, Mr. Chiu

He will surely lose!

Youth is lovely!

This car has no wind screen, and jacked up

He deserves it, lucky that our car is not here!

But we parked the car here!

Is it our car?

Really!

So hard to get four tires!

But idea where to get the engine and wind screen!

Shit, no engine

What to tell uncle Ken when he is back?

What can we say? Except negotiation.

How do I talk to him!

Sorry!

Damn

Damn, he is coming back...

Gee!

Uncle Ken!

Clean it up, the car will be taken away!

OK, it's clean and shiny!

Ah, I have to look at it

He is a new customer, he needs good impression

It's so quiet for you to wipe the glass?

Oh, no!

Right, wipe harder!

What are you doing, uncle Ken?

Check the car!

It is powerful

Did you fix the radio?

I think so!

Announcement, we don't broadcast today

Radio 3 stops broadcasting too!

Please watch T.V. today!

It ends our broadcast, bye!

How can it be!

Uncle Ken, so?

Not bad, have a look at the wiper

Where is the wind screen?

- Lost! - Lost?

Damn you! Behave!

Run!

Stop, come, you are rich!

Mr. Chiu pays $20,000 for you to film in a commercial

Mr. Chiu, our instructors

This is Li Man Chi, she's Tung Man Yuk

Miss Tung, what a coincidence to meet you again

Me too, we are two in one!

We work and live together.

Of course, I wanna get two birds in one hand

Mrs. Kam said you pay $50,000 for our ads

Right!

Good price!

Help yourself, excuse me!

Well, Miss Tung, can we have the screen test?

OK. but $5,000 will be charged if you think we don't fit.

Mr. Chiu, something wrong with the car

Take it to the Ken Kee garage

You 3 are bastards!

Lucky I found the engine, if not...

Damn, the client is coming to pick up the car

Uncle Ken, is my car ready?

Getting close!

But I want my car now!

Fat, do you work here?

Yeah, it's a job anyway!

I thought you were very rich!

None of your business!

I don't mind whether you're poor or not

But you took my car, it concerns me!

And the glass is gone!

How come?

I think Ah Fat is lying to you

impossible, Ah Fat is not a liar.

Do you admit it?

Don't be cocky, I won't lose in front of you

But I think you will be poor for your whole life

Look at you, you poor old dirty thing

Think, you won't match up with Miss Tung!

Ah Fat!

Tung Tung!

You are a technician here?

Right, he bankrupted and works here!

What do you mean?

He gambled with us!

He lost all his money!

Now, I am the boss here

I have lost...

Stop!

You three heartless bastards!

Shut up! I don't want to hear again!

I admit that I gambled a lot!

Mr. Chiu, I am so bad! Beat me please!

I know I am a villain!

Don't stop me!

Ah Fat, let me say something!

You can start allover again!

It is just like the T.V. soapy

Why didn't you tell Miss Tung about that?

Right!

Ah Fat, I'll be with you no matter what

You have to stand on your own feet!

Of course!

Mr. Chiu, I want to cancel the shooting!

I wanna be with him, let's go!

Thanks!

Get lost!

You three bastards!

Man Chi, you are here?

Yes, I heard everything!

You three are useless, rubbish!

Right, I trapped Ah Fat for his money! They told me to.

I know I was wrong, I wanna go straight again!

We deal with them together

You betrayed us!

No, I want justice

Sorry about that.

I want justice too!

I am the only bad guy! No more game for me.

I tell you something, we were all lying

Don't say anything not righteous!

Speak it out!

Friendship is inferior to romance

No more pal but girls!

Courting girls go first.

I tell you, I am the boss here

The 3 of them work for me!

Ah Fat has never been rich

How can you say that?

Tung Tung, I don't know what he means!

- Bastards! - Bastards!

- Bastards! - Bastards!

You beat me!

- Tung Tung! - Let her go,

explain to her later!

Are you looking for my daughter?

Right, auntie!

Let me lead the conversation.

Auntie, we come here for apologizing.

Yeah...!

Are you her friends?

Just common friends!

He is her boy friend!

Yes, her boy friend!

Right, intimate friend!

When did you know each other?

Not long, at the first night...

They loved at the first sight!

Right...

Then, it's not Tai Chu, but Siu Chu

What do you want?

He made your daughter angry!

So he came to apologize and he wants a proposal

Yes!

You damn things, she won't get married this early

- Getting angry? - Let's bluff her.

You have no choice! They've fallen in love.

What?

Didn't she tell you?

I call the cops, ask her to come here!

We don't care, arrest us?

Right!

My daughter is below16!

Don't lie to me! She is more than 16.

How did you get to know them?

Chu Chu, where is your sister?

My sister is now in the States

What are you talking about?

Auntie, we met at few days ago

- Chu Chu was with us! - Right!

Chu, tell me the truth!

That's Tung Tung!

What are you doing?

I am no sure I'd get mad with Ah Fat

Of course, he lied to you!

But I'm lied to him too!

He's a man, can't help it!

Tung Tung, someone is looking for you!

Ah Yuk!

Dad!

Ah Yuk!

Dad!

Dad is rich, we are not poor anymore!

I went to Africa 10 years ago

And I found a field which is of diamonds!

Dad, no matter we are poor or rich

You are here with us!

We are happy, anyway

Let's chat inside

I go to get some drinks and cake

We are confident, we can sure win!

We lost because we listened to you!

We have to be tough this time!

Right!

You've lost weight!

Tung Man Yuk, come out!

What's happening out there?

What are you doing here?

To blame you!

What do you blame me for?

A lot, you pretend to be rich!

Use your students house to cheat me

You cheat Ah Fat's love!

We are all the same!

Tung Tung, I...

Shut up, you are a bitch!

Have a lot of boy friends...

Fatty, you have gone too far!

Yeah! I think it funny!

And you have flirted with a fat rich friend, who are you?

He is my dad!

- Dad! - Your dad?

Looks like his dad.

Damn!

Stop behaving like that!

- What? Are we wrong? - Yes!

My daughter is not poor, she has a rich father!

Rich? You don't even have enough red cells

I tell you, I am Boss Tung

He pretends to be a boss

- Then, I am the manager! - Dad,

don't talk to them

Wait, here's my card

The director of the "Africa Diamonds Trading Co"

Director? Really?

I just came back from Africa

Oh, you are the bastard my daughter met!

No, dad, my boy friend is Chiu Tin Sin

They won't let go of me!

OK, we go back first!

If they follow, I'll call the police

Tung Tung, I don't mean it!

Uncle! Auntie!

Let it be!

You two spoiled the whole thing!

Ah Fat, it's a private club

You try to explain to Tung Tung

Be quick, otherwise she'll fall for another guy

What are you doing?

She won't answer my phone and doesn't want to see me

She even sends back the flowers!

That's not the point

But if people get your girlfriend!

You get her back, and then dump her! But never let other get her

This is the esteem of men.

Right!

My god, still hasn't come!

Will they come?

This is worrying me too, it's their first time

They may come, right?

- What do you do? - We...

You want to know why we came?

- Dancer! - Right,

let's dance!

Get changed, quick!

Quick, go out to dance!

- Go out... - I don't wanna dance

OK, I will beat you till you dance!

Go...!

We're dancing so hard. They still throw garbage to us.

I can't go on dancing

Tung Tung!

Ah Fat!

Tung Tung!

Tung Tung, listen to me!

Let me go!

Tung Tung!

- Are you a gentleman? - No!

Follow her!

Money!

Get away!

Get away!

Forge chest!

What's wrong with my chest?

I can't work now!

Why are you here? I would call for help!

Come on! Shout!

Get out!

Go on! Pissing!

You are a bastard!

Yes, I had never admitted to be a gentleman

I tell you the truth!

I had never lied to you.

You are old enough to make your own decision!

Yes, but I am a loser all the times

I don't wanna lose you this time

I don't know how to flatter people

But I have been serious to you.

Why did they insult me at the beauty salon?

I didn't know they talked so rude!

You can blame on them now

If you were me, you would have got angry too!

We were almost caught at Chu Chu's place

Why come to see me then?

You woman are sassy!

What?

Not only sassy, but blind too!

You know Chiu Tin Sin is a playboy

So what? mind your words!

You know it pretty well

Get out, I don't want to talk to you

I will get out of course! But let me be frank,

You girls like to use others to annoy the one she loves

You like him?

You can't annoy him all the time.

You hurt yourself some day!

You get out!

OK!

I know woman are my devils!

Go on! Provoke me!

I tell you, be careful!

You take care of yourself, I've finished!

Can't I come out?

Don't let me see him again!

Why are you so angry?

Master, you have come!

Master!

I heard that you've lost your girl!

You can't even beat a technician

I have tried different methods!

Have you seen Harry Cheung teaching people dance?

One, two, three, four, and principal steps!

So what?

That means you get to learn principal method!

Put the dose!

That's out dated?

But they always work

Remember those movie stars

I got them one by one!

She will sue me!

Hold a party, ask many people to come

She wouldn't know who's responsible

You just stay away from the bed!

My kid, listen to me!

I have a bottle of dose for you!

It's for you!

I told you not to come to the mid-night movie

It's better playing Mahjong

So much stuff?

Cold tablets?

The tea-leaves smell good!

Open up!

Coming!

Freeze!

What's up?

We are informed that someone hide drugs in this place!

Who frames me up?

Who frames me up?

Yes, who frames me up?

Yes, who frames me up?

It should be my question!

Well, I don't ask then!

You have got a visitor!

I wouldn't believe you were arrested

Chiu Tin Sin, I know what you are up to!

I come to bail you out

- You are not that kind! - Yes, lam!

It's Saturday, I have no money with me!

Wait till Monday

Don't play tricks, say what you want!

I want you to come to my party!

But now! You just can't come

Only Tung Tung & Man Chi can come!

What do you want, bastard?

I said I'd have your girl in 10 days

I remember you!

Hit me, hit me in front of the cops!

Just kidding! We are friends

Ah Fat, come over here.

You watch out!

You dare not hit me!

Hit my chest

Hit my back

Hit my eyes

Come to hit me, dare you do that?

Stay calm, take it easy

- You insane! - It's the trend

Your four are foolish!

Wanna go against Mr. Chiu

Let me have fresh one, you have the left over

Many people want my left over!

Wanna threaten me!

There are two cops outside!

I have never scared!

Hit your chest

Hit the back

Punch my face

Hit my throat!

Com'n

Brother, are you alright?

Who told you to go out?

Do you know me?

It's your fault to provoke others

We haven't seen anything!

They are waiting for my left-over

Quiet!

Are you real pal?

Of course!

Go out and hug the cops

Let them shoot you down!

Cover me, I wanna save Tung Tung & Man Chi

and I will remember you forever!

Good!

Ugly!

Brother Ho, you are here too!

I come to bail you out!

You are great!

We are charged with hiding drugs, how can you pay our bail?

Only the grass is real!

I know he has got other dose!

Don't know who the victim is

We know!

Let's rescue her!

Keep calm! We have to do it like this

Why are you so upset?

I don't know, I still think of Ah Fat

You must love him!

Stop!

What's the matter?

Goods delivery, three statutes for your boss

Let me have a look

Get in!

Which one?

The three out there!

Where is the toilet?

The one at the back!

Thanks!

I go in first, be alert!

OK!

Over there!

What is this?

What is it?

A statute!

It looks pretty!

It is smooth

It is very strong!

Those are human beings

We are answering machines

1+1=? Please insert coins

2

Insert coin, please.

Get the money...

You bet more, you get more return!

Bet all the money!

2...!

2! Damn it!

What, I have won!

Give me my dividend!

Malfunction, to be fixed

Another one here

Watch him...

Such a big fly!

What are these two buttons for, Mr. Chiu?

Tablet, for me.

Cheers

What about you, Mr. Chiu?

Me?

I drink!

You want to dose me!

It's hard to cheat me!

In another stormy night, you may be successful

How come?

The tablets were in powder form and were put in the two cups

The two I took are for comforting my stomach.

Then we...

You'll be on the floor at the 7th step!

You scum!

My tablets are like this!

You hit me, I hit you, come!

You hit me, I hit you, come!

You'll be on the floor after one more step!

Hit me! Come on...

I won't be nice to you.

Right, hit harder!

OK, I fix you up first!

You, stay away from me!

It is dangerous, rescue her now

Stop! Wait!

Why every leading lady says the same line?

At last, they would still come!

Man Chi!

Mr. Chiu, it's OK now!

Get the water ready!

Mr. Chiu it's a bubble bath!

I can't feel it!

I don't know, is the button on the three statutes?

Could be this button!

No, nothing!

Let me help you.

No, let me do it!

Ah, a bit warm, but it stinks!

Could be coming from the new tape

I have a look for you!

No, you go out and I wash myself

Take you time, Mr. Chiu

No water!

- What are you doing here? - None of your business!

Keep chasing.

Sliding down so far away

Nothing, 10, you lost!

Help... help me Traffic Light, Help!

3 more seconds, I'll come to save you soon.

How dare you fool me, I want you to watch me enjoying!

Guard the corridor!

No one is allowed to come in.

Mr. Chiu, your room is sound-proof

We don't know what would happen in you room!

I push the bell to call you in!

No thunder, no nose, so boring!

Let me have a drink first

You bastard, go to hell!

Bastard, the 6th step, you deserve it!

Every one has got one already!

I jump over to hit you!

Don't jump, you jumped 6 steps already!

Dickson, get him...

Dickson, get your master

Get him...

The dog loves flirting around as you do.

Don't come over, bite him!

Bite, bite him!

Go to hell!

Go to hell!

Man, get up!

Tung Tung!

Ah Fat!

Ah Fat!

Tung Tung!

She's gone!

Why drag me along!

Tung Tung, I have to find her!

Release me!

It's dangerous to be alone, don't you worry of being robbed?

There is one thing you've never told me

What?

What was your last wish when you saw the comet?

Why should I tell you? Go away!

You mean it?

Yes!

OK, I go now, bye!

You can flatter me, okay?

Why, we were acting to be rich before

But now, I am sincere!

Come on, let's have a chat

I hate you, you always lie to me!

You did lie to me too!

You lied more!

OK, I lied more!

I won't lie to you again!

If ever I lie again, you give me up!

You man are always like this

OK, men are devils, women are angels!

What wish did you make?

You love me only!

No problem!

Don't be shy,

come on!

Comet!

What's up?

Make a wish!

What wish!

Wish you not to spoil my affairs!

You're bad!

I was joking!

No jokes!

I really want you to be my better half!

Of course you do!

- Congee! - Let's have a bowl of it.

One Congee, one fried pastry

Poor couple!

"After twenty years"

Daddy, he is my boyfriend

Uncle, call me Frankie

- What do you think? - Well.

- You are Frankie. - Yes

Both of you are good friend?

Very good

There is no problem that you are dating my daughter

But, make sure that don't make her unhappy

I will take good care of her

Do you understand... do you understand...

Don't gambling, never gambling

When I was get broke,

I regretted to gamble

In these years, I won money from gambling is not true

However, don't gambling

If I don't gamble

I won't speak these words here

Well... Please give me some money... Walk away... don't walk away

Yes.

You are out of your mind, only 5 bucks.

Give 5 bucks more to buy horse racing

You get cough!

Take some money to see doctor, to have dinner, to gamble

to dance, to Macau, to play golf,

to face-lift, to university, to immigrate

to cheat people money... Yeah...