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(steady electronic music)
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- What's up, man?
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- I know you're the
investigator and everything,
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but I couldn't help notice ...
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How do I put this?
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You know I'm gay, right?
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- No, actually, I didn't.
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- Okay, well, I'm gay.
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- Okay, great.
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- And being a gay man and single and shit,
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I occasionally go on Said's List.
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Yeah, you sent me your picture.
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- Okay, look.
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I would never send my
picture online, ever, okay?
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I only did it this one time.
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- Yeah, and I was interested,
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but you should know being new here,
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it's probably not a good idea
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to send real photos of yourself.
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- Look, I would only send my picture
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if I was planning on actually
meeting up with somebody.
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- Yeah, and it was me.
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But you just started working with Jen,
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and I really, really
need this job, so I ...
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- You blew me off.
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- Yeah.
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Look, there's more.
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I was in State Park
Kalakaua the other day.
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I couldn't figure out what
you were doing with Swell,
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I figured Jen must've introduced you,
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and I should've left it there,
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but I being a nosy fucking
fag, I just decided to--
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- You followed us?
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- Yeah.
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- I'm officially freaked out.
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- Hey, no, listen.
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I promise you I won't say
anything to anyone ever.
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Honestly, I'm pretty jealous
at how lucky you are.
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I mean, Swell.
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Making out and everything,
that's just crazy.
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- Look, nobody knows about us, okay?
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And he would be pissed if
anybody found out, okay?
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So, look, this whole thing is
just getting out of control.
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- Has this been going on for a while?
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- No.
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Well, yeah.
- Wow.
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Swell.
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Oh my God, if Jen ever found
out she would shit bricks
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and then pound our skulls in with them.
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- Jen's not gonna find out.
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- No, but trust me.
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You can trust me, okay?
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So this is not just a
one-time thing, then?
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- No.
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- Wow.
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Shit.
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- Okay, I'm freaking out.
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- About what?
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- This whole thing.
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This is all pretty new to me.
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- Oh, the guy thing.
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- The guy thing, all of it.
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- I remember your initial emails,
you did seem pretty green.
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- Okay.
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- Look, I promise you I won't
ask any more questions, okay?
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Even though I'm really dying to know.
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- Yeah, well I appreciate that.
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- Does Swell have a big dick?
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- You know what?
- Sorry.
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- Seriously, I'm about to lose it.
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I don't even know what to do, please!
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- Okay.
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I'm sorry.
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It's a small town, I
just happen to know you
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and I think you're really attractive,
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and I just don't, I
don't want you to think
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that I will go and tell anyone, okay?
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And seriously, if you ever
need to talk to someone,
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I can be a good friend too.
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- Thanks.
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(steady electronic music)
5572
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