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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,938 - Try this. It'll blow your mind. - What is it? 2 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,445 A technological innovation that will revolutionise our business. 3 00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:08,896 Introducing the ice cube. 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,335 Sure. I mean, I have seen ice before. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,896 Like in winter, in puddles. 6 00:00:12,961 --> 00:00:15,590 Yeah. But how about in summer in drinks? 7 00:00:15,655 --> 00:00:17,622 It cools them down fast. 8 00:00:18,237 --> 00:00:20,516 Sort of bonks against your teeth, don't it? 9 00:00:20,581 --> 00:00:22,368 - I mean, it is cold. - Exactly. 10 00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:24,587 Sweaty punters will be queueing up for these babies. 11 00:00:24,651 --> 00:00:26,896 I honestly think it could be the new lemon slice. 12 00:00:27,556 --> 00:00:28,857 Maybe we should combine them. 13 00:00:29,364 --> 00:00:31,498 - Have you seen the fruit bowl? - Afternoon. 14 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,191 Here it comes now, on Grumio's head. 15 00:00:34,256 --> 00:00:37,110 Can we have that back, please, Grumio? Washed first, ideally. 16 00:00:37,175 --> 00:00:40,505 No chance. Along with the bin lid, it's a key part of my sunshade. 17 00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:43,172 That big yellow bastard's bloody throbbing out there. 18 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:45,621 - Just wear a hat, you weirdo. - Not big enough, mate. 19 00:00:45,686 --> 00:00:49,307 I want the coverage of a parasol with my hands free for wafting. 20 00:00:49,371 --> 00:00:51,886 Sounds like someone would like an ice cube, 21 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:54,983 Rome's hottest new garnish. Or should I say coldest? 22 00:00:55,048 --> 00:00:56,841 No, you definitely shouldn't. 23 00:00:57,444 --> 00:00:59,967 Well, don't eat it. I've only got three of those. 24 00:01:00,032 --> 00:01:04,632 Sync and corrections: minouhse www.addic7ed.com 25 00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:18,876 As soon as word gets out about the ice, we'll be rammed. 26 00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:21,011 We'll be doing pay rises, uniforms, the lot. 27 00:01:21,076 --> 00:01:22,774 - Amazing. Can't wait. - Me neither. 28 00:01:22,839 --> 00:01:26,008 Until then, however, we're empty so we're doing pay cuts. 29 00:01:26,073 --> 00:01:28,268 And shift cuts. Yours, mainly. 30 00:01:28,716 --> 00:01:29,994 Well, look, no wozzas, boss. 31 00:01:30,059 --> 00:01:32,652 I've actually got a cheeky little side hustle on the go right now 32 00:01:32,716 --> 00:01:36,155 - so I'm as flush as a brush. - Side hustle? What side hustle? 33 00:01:36,220 --> 00:01:38,923 I've become a Knight of Eros if you must know. Nosy. 34 00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:40,762 A what? What the fuck is that? 35 00:01:40,827 --> 00:01:44,235 It's basically Rome's premier escort agency for the discerning woman. 36 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,385 She can't be that discerning if she's hiring you. 37 00:01:46,449 --> 00:01:48,332 Au contraire, mon frere. 38 00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:52,071 My penchant for neoteric verse made me the ideal companion 39 00:01:52,136 --> 00:01:53,652 to the poetry recital last night. 40 00:01:53,716 --> 00:01:55,818 I'd have happily gone for free, but as it was, 41 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,297 the lady in question give me 200 big ones. 42 00:01:58,362 --> 00:02:01,480 - But you look like a dog's arse. - With 200 big ones stuffed up it. 43 00:02:01,545 --> 00:02:04,217 Water, barkeep, water, please. 44 00:02:04,282 --> 00:02:05,692 Certainly, sir. Coming right up. 45 00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:07,652 Quick as you can, I'm late for a meeting. 46 00:02:07,716 --> 00:02:09,652 - Rampant out there, innit? - And the rest. 47 00:02:09,716 --> 00:02:11,480 I'm sweating like a priest at an orgy here. 48 00:02:11,544 --> 00:02:14,013 In which case, you're bound to enjoy an ice cube. 49 00:02:14,085 --> 00:02:17,251 A brand-new product guaranteed to keep you and your drink supercool. 50 00:02:17,883 --> 00:02:21,239 Fill her up, son. And don't let me forget this parasol. 51 00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:23,552 I've lost two of the sodding things this week alone. 52 00:02:23,616 --> 00:02:26,425 Of course. And how was that ice for you? Refreshing, I bet. 53 00:02:26,490 --> 00:02:29,366 - Tell you what you need, mate... - Would you recommend it to a friend? 54 00:02:29,430 --> 00:02:31,493 - A hands-free parasol. - Grumio, please... 55 00:02:31,558 --> 00:02:35,345 All the convenience of a hat, all the coverage of a brolly. 56 00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:37,673 - And going back to the ice... - Where did you get that from? 57 00:02:37,737 --> 00:02:39,104 I made it. It's mine. 58 00:02:39,274 --> 00:02:43,904 Come and see me tomorrow. Severus Galba. Businessman. 59 00:02:43,969 --> 00:02:45,998 I'm always on the hunt for new ideas. 60 00:02:46,063 --> 00:02:47,703 Grumio. Ideas man. 61 00:02:48,839 --> 00:02:51,716 - Don't forget to come and see me. - Don't forget your parasol. 62 00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:01,818 So, Jason, what makes you think you've got what it takes 63 00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,438 to become a Knight of Eros? 64 00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:07,011 Well, for a start off, my dating game is on point. 65 00:03:07,076 --> 00:03:09,652 - Is it really? How so? - I look good, 66 00:03:09,716 --> 00:03:12,553 I smell good, I always keep a lady's wine glass full to the brim. 67 00:03:12,617 --> 00:03:14,288 Okay, that's too full. 68 00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:17,470 I'm a great listener. Or, like, I'm great at looking like I'm listening, 69 00:03:17,534 --> 00:03:20,150 but really, I'm zoning out. Like this. 70 00:03:21,519 --> 00:03:25,313 Right. Impressive. But I'm afraid our books are full. 71 00:03:25,378 --> 00:03:28,456 As if! You took Aurelius and he's a massive dweeby douche. 72 00:03:28,521 --> 00:03:31,561 Aurelius, Aurelius... Oh, yes. Him. 73 00:03:31,626 --> 00:03:33,954 If that gimp's getting dates, I should be, too. 74 00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:35,836 I agree, he's quite niche. 75 00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:38,060 Niche ain't it. He's a disgrace. 76 00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,963 You're giving a lonely lady the worst night ever. 77 00:03:41,028 --> 00:03:43,378 When she could be getting the night of her life. 78 00:03:45,418 --> 00:03:48,098 Look out for number 42. He didn't give us a time, did he? 79 00:03:48,163 --> 00:03:50,652 Didn't give us anything, mate. I'm the one he wanted to see. 80 00:03:50,716 --> 00:03:53,765 No, I know, but guys like this can be sharks, Grumio. 81 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:56,026 And you're some deformed little seal pup. 82 00:03:56,091 --> 00:03:59,091 I'm just here to make sure you don't get eaten alive. 83 00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:02,749 Well, I've run it past my backroom bods and they think it's a goer. 84 00:04:02,814 --> 00:04:04,395 - Boom-ting. - Boom-ting indeed. 85 00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,534 And did you happen to mention the ice as well? 86 00:04:06,599 --> 00:04:07,829 - You what? - From your drink? 87 00:04:07,893 --> 00:04:09,695 - What are you doing? - Cos with a bit of seed money 88 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,184 I could buy a huge block of the stuff. 89 00:04:11,248 --> 00:04:13,454 Okay, listen, I'm not one to fuck about with foreplay, 90 00:04:13,518 --> 00:04:16,395 so I'll cut to the chase. I like your idea, Grumio. 91 00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:17,652 I want to develop it. 92 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,652 Fantastic. So maybe we could develop both ideas in tandem. 93 00:04:20,716 --> 00:04:22,049 Why are you still talking? 94 00:04:22,114 --> 00:04:25,148 In fact, why are you even here? This is between me and Grumio. 95 00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:27,447 - He won't be told. - It's not just between the two of you, 96 00:04:27,511 --> 00:04:30,534 I'm afraid. You see, I happen to be Grumio's owner. 97 00:04:30,599 --> 00:04:32,852 Are you now? Suddenly it all makes sense. 98 00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:37,115 So, I also own all his intellectual property. If you can call it that. 99 00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:39,346 - I had an owner once myself. - Really? 100 00:04:39,411 --> 00:04:42,115 - You were a slave? - Back in the day, yes, I was. 101 00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,790 To another whiny little tit. 102 00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:46,652 But you've got your own desk and door and everything. 103 00:04:46,716 --> 00:04:48,431 Well, I had some smart ideas. 104 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:50,979 Seized my opportunities, made myself some moolah. 105 00:04:51,044 --> 00:04:52,831 And you can do the same, son. 106 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:54,492 How's 200? 107 00:04:54,556 --> 00:04:56,004 - For what, sorry? - For Grumio. 108 00:04:56,069 --> 00:04:58,332 I'll buy him off you, cut out the middle prick. 109 00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:01,328 I'm not developing his ideas to make you rich, bozo. 110 00:05:01,393 --> 00:05:03,652 Well, the two of us, we need to discuss it... 111 00:05:03,716 --> 00:05:05,046 No, we don't. He'll take it. 112 00:05:05,111 --> 00:05:07,202 - What, really? - I want to go with him. 113 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,049 And get some moolah and a big fat desk. 114 00:05:09,114 --> 00:05:11,715 He's a proper businessman, not some beaky numpty. 115 00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,331 Atta boy, Grumio. 116 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,195 So, what do we say then, "master"? Have we got a deal? 117 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,306 What? You sold our mate for a block of ice? 118 00:05:22,371 --> 00:05:23,981 Yeah. Bought it off landlord. 119 00:05:24,046 --> 00:05:26,778 It's a fair exchange, really. One big lump for another. 120 00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:28,757 I must say, I'm a huge fan. 121 00:05:28,822 --> 00:05:30,383 It has a frosty beauty, 122 00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:33,949 a glimmering elegance, almost a sadness about it. 123 00:05:34,014 --> 00:05:36,599 And it makes drinks colder. That's the thing to tell people. 124 00:05:36,663 --> 00:05:40,078 In fact, you two should get out there now and start handing out these flyers. 125 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,652 No, sorry, I can't. I've got a theatre date in a bit. 126 00:05:42,716 --> 00:05:44,652 What, do you really? That's curious. 127 00:05:44,716 --> 00:05:46,137 Is it? Don't think so. 128 00:05:46,202 --> 00:05:49,652 No, it's just that I had a theatre date myself through the agency, 129 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,010 which was then cancelled. 130 00:05:51,075 --> 00:05:53,188 And now here you are, a buffoon, 131 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,978 with a theatre date all of your own. 132 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:56,837 What a coincidence. 133 00:05:56,902 --> 00:05:59,191 Let's see. Is your date with someone called Jocasta? 134 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:02,462 No, it's with someone called something else. 135 00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:06,550 Come. 136 00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:08,871 All right, boss? Got some doodles to show you. 137 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,938 Good lad. Let's have a squiz. 138 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:15,563 So, we swap the fruit bowl for a headband and put a sunshade in place of the bin lid. 139 00:06:15,628 --> 00:06:17,652 This is top drawer, Grumio. 140 00:06:17,716 --> 00:06:19,783 I got one of the grown-ups in product design to help me. 141 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:24,172 - So, go on, what are we calling it? - I were thinking the para-hat-asol. 142 00:06:24,236 --> 00:06:26,528 Or the hands-free shady boy. 143 00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:28,500 Good effort, but they're both shit. 144 00:06:28,716 --> 00:06:31,337 How about we name it after its creator? 145 00:06:31,402 --> 00:06:33,943 Let's call it the Grumbrella. 146 00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:36,794 I don't know what to say, boss. I love it. 147 00:06:36,859 --> 00:06:40,343 You can stop calling me boss for one thing. We're partners in this. 148 00:06:40,408 --> 00:06:44,024 In fact, I'm gonna get a partnership agreement drawn up for you to sign. 149 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:46,973 Wicked. I mean, I'd have to draw up a signature 150 00:06:47,038 --> 00:06:48,769 - cos I don't actually have one of them. - You do that. 151 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,652 In the meantime, work on these designs. 152 00:06:50,716 --> 00:06:53,019 We've got a Grumbrella to launch. 153 00:06:53,084 --> 00:06:54,742 All right, boss. All over it. 154 00:06:55,208 --> 00:06:56,844 Sorry, not boss. 155 00:06:57,219 --> 00:07:00,250 Partner. Mate. Severus. 156 00:07:03,559 --> 00:07:07,445 We give all we have to our husbands, 157 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:11,337 throwing ourselves on the mercy of his lust! 158 00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:15,015 I think that was the finest production of Medea I've seen. 159 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,211 Yeah, I mean, that is true for me, too, as it goes. 160 00:07:19,276 --> 00:07:20,652 You enjoyed it, then? 161 00:07:20,717 --> 00:07:22,652 I liked the costumes. And the blood. 162 00:07:22,716 --> 00:07:24,832 I thought it could have done with a couple of songs, you know, 163 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,863 to lighten the mood. I mean, that main lady, what's her name? 164 00:07:27,928 --> 00:07:29,255 - Medea. - Yeah, 165 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,172 she was a bit of a Debbie Downer, weren't she? 166 00:07:31,236 --> 00:07:34,909 Yes, you could say that, given that she kills her children to spite her cheating husband. 167 00:07:34,973 --> 00:07:36,880 Hang on, did you say her name was Medea? 168 00:07:36,945 --> 00:07:40,716 Cos I just thought everyone was calling her "my dear" the whole time. 169 00:07:42,297 --> 00:07:44,727 I'm gonna go and powder my nose. 170 00:07:49,185 --> 00:07:51,907 - Where did you come from? - I knew it wasn't a coincidence. 171 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,977 You stole my date, you devious dog. 172 00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:56,793 - Did you follow us here? - Via the play, yes. Though I'm glad I did. 173 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:59,401 That was genuinely the best production of Medea I've ever seen. 174 00:07:59,465 --> 00:08:01,692 Okay, well, piss off before Jocasta gets back. 175 00:08:01,757 --> 00:08:05,305 No. You piss off, you interloping shit! She should be here with me. 176 00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:08,140 I'm not leaving now, mate. I've not had my chicken burger yet. 177 00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:12,319 Chicken burger. I mean, you are so unsuitable for Jocasta, it's absurd. 178 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:15,169 - I insist that you let me take over. - Okay, fine. 179 00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:17,993 Tomorrow, we'll go and see that snooty bloke from the agency 180 00:08:18,058 --> 00:08:20,384 and he can decide who's the best man for the job. 181 00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:22,430 - All right? - Bring it on. 182 00:08:22,606 --> 00:08:24,104 Your funeral, fucko. 183 00:08:28,858 --> 00:08:30,560 Amazing, right? 184 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:32,498 Well, it's a huge block of ice, yes. 185 00:08:32,563 --> 00:08:34,848 Still not quite sure why I had to come all the way down here, though. 186 00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:39,087 So you could stroke it. Go on. It's so cold and hard. 187 00:08:41,642 --> 00:08:44,012 I mean, I hate to pour cold water on it, Marcus, 188 00:08:44,076 --> 00:08:46,652 but there is a growing pool of cold water on the floor. 189 00:08:46,716 --> 00:08:50,189 There was a bit of run-off, sure. But you've got to try it. See what you think. 190 00:08:50,254 --> 00:08:52,432 I'm happy with room temperature water, to be honest. 191 00:08:52,496 --> 00:08:53,809 Right. 192 00:08:53,874 --> 00:08:57,398 Well, I guess your generation are pretty resistant to new technology. 193 00:08:57,463 --> 00:08:59,511 Excuse me, "My generation"? 194 00:08:59,576 --> 00:09:01,659 You are a fair bit older than me, aren't you? 195 00:09:01,724 --> 00:09:04,356 Charming. Do you point out the age of all your customers? 196 00:09:04,421 --> 00:09:07,652 - It may explain why you are empty. - The customers will come. 197 00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,753 Just as soon as word spreads about the ice. 198 00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,873 And if they don't, you can just stand here stroking it all day. 199 00:09:14,103 --> 00:09:16,851 Maybe stop doing that, actually. You're making it melt faster. 200 00:09:20,079 --> 00:09:22,652 - We had a rapport... - You cannot send her back to him! 201 00:09:22,716 --> 00:09:25,782 - And frankly, I saw her first. - Okay, enough! 202 00:09:25,847 --> 00:09:28,652 Shush now. What exactly do you want me to do about this? 203 00:09:28,716 --> 00:09:32,472 - I want you to put him out of his misery. - Choose one of us to continue dating Jocasta. 204 00:09:32,536 --> 00:09:35,105 Well, maybe Jocasta could choose for herself. 205 00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:38,536 As it happens, she came in with her feedback form this morning. 206 00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:41,455 - Perfect. What's she got to say? - Well, starting with you, Jason. 207 00:09:41,519 --> 00:09:43,652 While she admits you were easy on the eye, 208 00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:47,265 she describes your date as stilted and intellectually arid. 209 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:50,439 Yes! In your face! Arid. You, sir, are arid. 210 00:09:50,504 --> 00:09:54,327 As for you, Aurelius, she praises your wit and sophistication, 211 00:09:54,392 --> 00:09:58,050 but found you visually challenging and compares you to a greased goat. 212 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,941 See? I told you you was butters. 213 00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:04,524 Okay, so which one of us does she want to see again? It's not completely clear. 214 00:10:04,589 --> 00:10:06,419 Neither of you. Obviously. 215 00:10:06,484 --> 00:10:08,284 Nor will I be keeping you on our books 216 00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:11,012 as it is evident that both of you fall short 217 00:10:11,076 --> 00:10:14,083 of the Knights of Eros standards. Goodbye. 218 00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:23,254 - Oh, my days. This is huge. - So huge. 219 00:10:23,319 --> 00:10:25,020 This can't all be for Grumio, surely? 220 00:10:25,085 --> 00:10:26,485 Easy, lads. Thanks for coming. 221 00:10:26,550 --> 00:10:29,652 All right, chilli-dog, what's going on here? Who are all the togas? 222 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,692 Just some influencers, a few journos, the odd celeb. 223 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:35,286 Severus likes to push the boat out for a product launch. 224 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,348 Grumio, it is quite a weird product. 225 00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:40,211 So don't expect them all to love it. 226 00:10:40,276 --> 00:10:42,652 Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Know what I mean? 227 00:10:42,716 --> 00:10:45,722 Cheers, Marcus. I knew I could trust you to bring the good vibes. 228 00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:48,652 I also brought some flyers about our ice. 229 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,809 Do you think I could maybe hand them to the influencers? 230 00:10:50,873 --> 00:10:53,652 - Definitely not, no. - Right, listen up, everyone. 231 00:10:53,716 --> 00:10:56,187 Oh, here we go. Show time. 232 00:10:57,249 --> 00:10:58,652 I'm just gonna pop them down here. 233 00:10:58,716 --> 00:11:01,012 When I first clapped eyes on the inventor of this product, 234 00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:02,772 he reminded me a bit of myself. 235 00:11:02,889 --> 00:11:05,652 A little slave with big ideas. 236 00:11:05,716 --> 00:11:07,432 An idiot master holding him back. 237 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:09,862 All he needed was someone to give him a chance. 238 00:11:09,927 --> 00:11:13,012 Grumio, come up here, son. Introduce your idea. 239 00:11:18,057 --> 00:11:20,388 So all it is basically is a big brolly. 240 00:11:20,453 --> 00:11:23,103 But you don't have to hold it, cos it sits on your head. 241 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,183 And it's called the Grumbrella. 242 00:11:37,107 --> 00:11:38,801 One for the lads. 243 00:11:46,716 --> 00:11:48,368 Oh, no, mate... 244 00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:50,964 Yes... 245 00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:55,606 Lucky seven! 246 00:12:08,025 --> 00:12:10,961 So, I was thinking, maybe we should kick on and expand the range? 247 00:12:11,025 --> 00:12:12,816 Very sensible. What are we talking? 248 00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:16,961 Well, I wanna do a big one with sparkly ends like a crown called a Maxigrum, 249 00:12:17,025 --> 00:12:19,200 and a double one you can wear with your mate called a Chumgrum. 250 00:12:19,264 --> 00:12:21,595 I love it! You're on fire, Grumio. 251 00:12:21,660 --> 00:12:24,961 I know I am. So I've also invented a fancy new signature 252 00:12:25,025 --> 00:12:27,142 so that we can finish the partnership thingy. 253 00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:28,961 Oh, that, yeah. 254 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:32,961 My lawyer is just putting the finishing touches to that so it's all nice and official. 255 00:12:33,242 --> 00:12:34,781 But don't you worry about that. 256 00:12:34,846 --> 00:12:37,616 You crack on with these new ideas, your little legend! 257 00:12:38,399 --> 00:12:39,635 Will do! 258 00:12:40,751 --> 00:12:43,298 Small stitches, dickhead, this is a quality product. 259 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:48,108 I mean, I got a one out of ten for appearance! 260 00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:49,697 - One! - That is harsh. 261 00:12:49,762 --> 00:12:51,626 Even I'd give you a two. What did I get? 262 00:12:51,691 --> 00:12:54,483 Eight. But you got a nought for conversation, whereas I got a nine. 263 00:12:54,547 --> 00:12:56,961 Between us, we'd have a near-perfect score. 264 00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:59,037 It's a shame we're not one person. 265 00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,682 - What if we could be? - How would that work? 266 00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,503 We go on dates together. 267 00:13:03,568 --> 00:13:05,564 I'm not dating a one out of ten. 268 00:13:05,629 --> 00:13:09,801 No, I mean, we pool our resources, take ladies out as a pair. 269 00:13:09,865 --> 00:13:11,731 Oh, shit, yeah! 270 00:13:11,796 --> 00:13:14,573 So I do the looking good and you do the talking good. 271 00:13:14,638 --> 00:13:16,961 - Talking well. - Right. This is what I mean. 272 00:13:17,025 --> 00:13:18,961 Glass of water please, barkeep. 273 00:13:19,025 --> 00:13:20,481 Ah, hello Grumio. 274 00:13:20,531 --> 00:13:22,636 I see success has literally gone to your head. 275 00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:24,961 Oh, this? It's just a Maxigrum, mate, 276 00:13:25,025 --> 00:13:27,155 a big ballsy bastard for fans of the brand. 277 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:30,094 Yeah man, congrats, the Grumbrellas are everywhere. 278 00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:31,961 We are shifting stock, it's true. 279 00:13:32,025 --> 00:13:34,182 - How's it going with the ice? - Great, thanks. 280 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,344 - Our stock is also shifting. - Oh yeah? 281 00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:38,961 Cos people are buying it or cos it's melting onto the floor? 282 00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:39,961 Bit of both. 283 00:13:40,025 --> 00:13:42,791 - Mainly melting though, ain't it? - What do you actually want, Grumio? 284 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,880 - Why are you here? - Just came to say hi. 285 00:13:44,945 --> 00:13:48,316 And to let you know that I'm hiring a PA. Thought I'd give you first refusal. 286 00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:50,313 And I refuse, thanks. 287 00:13:50,378 --> 00:13:53,749 I've got bigger career ambitions than being my former slave's secretary. 288 00:13:53,961 --> 00:13:57,025 Oh well, hope for the best, prepare for the worst, eh? 289 00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:08,326 - Are you sure this is the one? - Yeah, I stalked her home after our date. 290 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:09,635 - Stalked? - Walked. 291 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,161 Which one was it? 292 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,527 Well, both actually. 293 00:14:12,592 --> 00:14:15,386 I walked her some of the way and then stalked her the rest. 294 00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:17,843 Jocasta, hey! Remember us? 295 00:14:17,908 --> 00:14:20,603 Oh, yes, hello. You two know each other. 296 00:14:20,668 --> 00:14:21,961 - How odd. - We do indeed. 297 00:14:22,025 --> 00:14:23,677 We're great buds. 298 00:14:23,742 --> 00:14:26,363 What a charming story. Now, I'm late for my chiropractor. 299 00:14:26,428 --> 00:14:30,561 We won't keep you. We're just here to pitch you a bold new take on the escorting industry. 300 00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:31,800 Right, which is? 301 00:14:31,865 --> 00:14:35,801 Say hello to your favourite new agency, the Candy Boys. 302 00:14:35,865 --> 00:14:37,813 I bring the eye candy, you see this. 303 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:40,134 He brings the ear candy, you hear that. 304 00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:42,823 - Two for the price of one. - Right. 305 00:14:42,888 --> 00:14:45,345 But I still have to look at that as in him? 306 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:47,227 I could stay out of your eyeline if you'd prefer. 307 00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:50,132 I'd insist. And you'd stay silent? 308 00:14:50,197 --> 00:14:52,197 He would. And as our first client, 309 00:14:52,262 --> 00:14:54,449 we could give you the initial date half price. 310 00:14:54,514 --> 00:14:56,153 Two for the price of ha... 311 00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:02,228 Secretary! 312 00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:04,812 All right, all right, keep your brolly on. 313 00:15:04,877 --> 00:15:06,961 - What is it now? - Anything in the in-tray? 314 00:15:07,025 --> 00:15:09,492 I'm waiting for a partnership thingy from Severus. 315 00:15:09,557 --> 00:15:13,739 Well, we got a shitload more of these customer complaint letters in, yeah. 316 00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:15,499 Frigging hell, what now? 317 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,961 Some dopey bastard got a spoke in his eye from the Megagrum. 318 00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:21,349 The Maxigrum. If you're gonna be my secretary, 319 00:15:21,414 --> 00:15:24,248 - you've got to learn the product names. - Yeah, yeah, whatever. 320 00:15:24,313 --> 00:15:26,606 And then two more injured on the Mateygrum. 321 00:15:26,671 --> 00:15:28,499 The Chumgrum. 322 00:15:28,564 --> 00:15:31,894 Twisted their necks trying to go in opposite directions. 323 00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,643 Numpties. 324 00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:36,269 Oh yeah, this one says he's gonna sue. 325 00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:38,377 Stupid bloody public fools. 326 00:15:38,442 --> 00:15:40,872 Can't see genius when it pokes them in the eye. 327 00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:43,409 So it's their fault, is it? Is that how we're gonna respond? 328 00:15:43,473 --> 00:15:46,110 No. We're not responding at all. 329 00:15:46,188 --> 00:15:48,877 - Bin 'em. Bin all the bad ones. - Lovely. 330 00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:50,471 That is so much better. 331 00:15:50,536 --> 00:15:53,856 And find me some fan mail, dammit, it's what I bloody well deserve. 332 00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:57,588 It's getting smaller by the day. 333 00:15:57,653 --> 00:16:00,960 Yeah, I mean it will do that, it's like an inbuilt design feature. 334 00:16:01,025 --> 00:16:03,751 No, I know. But there's gotta be a way to slow it down. 335 00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:07,039 Well, pack it in ice. Keep the ice nice and icy. 336 00:16:07,104 --> 00:16:09,161 Right, and how about that ice? How do I keep that cold? 337 00:16:09,225 --> 00:16:11,206 Well, again, more ice and on it goes. 338 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,373 - It takes ice to keep ice. - No, sorry, this is ridiculous. 339 00:16:14,438 --> 00:16:17,051 New plan. If the people won't come to the ice, 340 00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:20,638 the ice will have to come to the people. Let's go, boys, we're hitting the streets. 341 00:16:20,702 --> 00:16:22,897 Oh, no, sorry, we can't. We've got a hot date. 342 00:16:22,962 --> 00:16:24,184 What? Both of you? 343 00:16:24,311 --> 00:16:26,843 - Big times. I bring the looks. - And I bring the noise. 344 00:16:26,908 --> 00:16:29,515 - And together we are... - The Candy Boys. 345 00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:32,068 - Bit weird. - Good luck with it, though. 346 00:16:32,897 --> 00:16:34,108 Stop melting my ice. 347 00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:36,457 She's not gonna be looking at you, anyway. 348 00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:39,255 I love this piece. 349 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,123 It's so vivid, static, 350 00:16:41,188 --> 00:16:43,961 - yet somehow full of life. - Absolutely. 351 00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:45,961 The blue veins of the Carrara marble 352 00:16:46,025 --> 00:16:48,243 seem to evoke the very blood pulsing through him. 353 00:16:48,788 --> 00:16:52,525 You can almost hear the shrill hoot of his pipe being blown. 354 00:16:55,444 --> 00:16:56,773 Ooh, sorry. 355 00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:01,593 - Now, what do you know of this one? - Ionian. 356 00:17:01,765 --> 00:17:03,015 Maybe 500 years old, 357 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,485 a classic depiction of Ulysses beating off the one-eyed monster. 358 00:17:08,112 --> 00:17:10,486 What would you stay is your favourite style of column? 359 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,465 I like an Ionian, of course, who doesn't? 360 00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:16,768 But really, for me, it's fluted Corinthian, every day of the week. 361 00:17:16,846 --> 00:17:18,218 Ice! 362 00:17:19,488 --> 00:17:20,839 Ice cube. 363 00:17:20,904 --> 00:17:23,961 How many species of tree do you think you could name in this grove? 364 00:17:24,025 --> 00:17:26,044 I think I could manage all 48 of them. 365 00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:28,025 Ice? Right you are. 366 00:17:29,987 --> 00:17:31,209 Here you go. 367 00:17:39,831 --> 00:17:40,961 I want a word with you. 368 00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:44,136 'Ey up, Severus, I'm working on a new Grumbrella for kids. 369 00:17:44,201 --> 00:17:46,961 It's called the Can-I-Have-One-Mum-Grum. What do you reckon? 370 00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:50,614 I reckon you should wear a Bloody Prize Plumgrum, that's what I reckon. 371 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,267 Have you had any letters from lawyers recently? 372 00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:56,844 - Might have done, yeah, why? - About 40 of the flesh eating fuckers 373 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,308 are threatening to sue me a new arsehole, that's why. 374 00:17:59,373 --> 00:18:02,166 Punters keep getting skewered by your products. 375 00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:04,850 The moaning minnies aren't still bleating on, are they? 376 00:18:04,915 --> 00:18:07,103 Not all of them, no. One of them died. 377 00:18:07,168 --> 00:18:08,961 Couldn't see past the massive spokes, 378 00:18:09,025 --> 00:18:10,234 got hit by a wagon! 379 00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,860 So he's not bleating on, 380 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,478 but his family are bleating on very loudly. 381 00:18:14,543 --> 00:18:16,593 Just get your lawyer to tell them to naff off. 382 00:18:16,658 --> 00:18:19,118 He must have finished our partnership thingy by now, surely? 383 00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,367 No, he's... 384 00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:23,619 I tell you what. 385 00:18:23,684 --> 00:18:26,490 Why don't we forget about the partnership thingy 386 00:18:26,555 --> 00:18:30,295 and put the Grumbrella part of the business entirely in your name? 387 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,454 - Yeah? Really? - Why not? 388 00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:35,961 It's your baby after all, I just helped yank it out of you. 389 00:18:36,025 --> 00:18:40,279 Right. So when my ideas are raking it in, you can't be arsed, 390 00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:43,370 but when they're making people mardy or, you know, dead, 391 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,611 suddenly you want me to go it alone, is that right? 392 00:18:45,675 --> 00:18:48,819 I just want you to forge ahead, Grumio, be your own man. 393 00:18:50,486 --> 00:18:53,961 But I reckon I'd rather be your man right now, boss. 394 00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:12,372 Goodness me, what a downpour. 395 00:19:12,437 --> 00:19:14,876 Well, all that humidity had to break sooner or later. 396 00:19:14,941 --> 00:19:18,461 Yes. Let's get you out of those wet clothes. 397 00:19:23,577 --> 00:19:25,467 No, not you. 398 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,690 God, you plebeian oinking is a real passion killer. 399 00:19:28,755 --> 00:19:30,531 That's your department back there. 400 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,378 Including, you want me to make pleasure noises as well? 401 00:19:33,443 --> 00:19:35,603 All the noises, that was the deal. 402 00:19:37,025 --> 00:19:40,303 Ooh, mmm. Ooh, lovely. 403 00:19:40,384 --> 00:19:41,593 Jocasta... 404 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:50,448 Oh, Jason, you are sexy. 405 00:19:50,545 --> 00:19:52,404 Oh, thank you. I work out. 406 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,355 - Talk dirty to me. - All right, yep. 407 00:19:57,025 --> 00:20:00,453 I'm gonna wreck you, you filthy lady. 408 00:20:00,609 --> 00:20:02,730 - Do your worst. - I plan to. 409 00:20:03,277 --> 00:20:06,329 Are you cool if we get a bit kinky? 410 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:09,531 Yeah, of course, I'd love that. 411 00:20:11,107 --> 00:20:15,461 You're gonna need a safe word in case things get a bit much. 412 00:20:15,526 --> 00:20:18,337 Oh, right, like 'stop' or 'don't'? 413 00:20:18,571 --> 00:20:21,486 - Just pick one! - Mummy. Let's, let's go with 'mummy'. 414 00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,234 Oh yeah. 415 00:20:25,587 --> 00:20:27,446 Here it comes. 416 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:34,114 Ooh, that's good. I think. 417 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:43,314 742 classic Grumbrellas, 418 00:20:43,379 --> 00:20:46,147 14 Maxigrums, five Chumgrums, 419 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:50,389 a large mahogany desk, three ink pots and one small slave. 420 00:20:50,774 --> 00:20:52,472 Poor old Severus. 421 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,847 Spends 25 years building up his business, 422 00:20:54,912 --> 00:20:57,007 meets you and then loses it all in a couple of weeks. 423 00:20:57,071 --> 00:21:00,155 Might've known you'd sniff out a closing down sale, you tightwad. 424 00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:03,220 Well, I thought I might buy a few Grumbrellas at a knockdown price. 425 00:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,768 I'm sorry for doubting you, Grumio. 426 00:21:07,025 --> 00:21:09,488 It was actually quite a good idea, it turns out, 427 00:21:09,738 --> 00:21:10,961 until it killed people. 428 00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,441 Cheers. 429 00:21:12,506 --> 00:21:14,879 Don't suppose you fancy buying the inventor, do you? 430 00:21:16,412 --> 00:21:18,710 55 dinari! Bloody hell. 431 00:21:19,634 --> 00:21:21,247 I'll do you a discount. 432 00:21:26,350 --> 00:21:29,576 I was stuck behind the sofa, how could I see what she was doing? 433 00:21:29,641 --> 00:21:32,326 Well, I've got wax burns on my ballbag now, thanks to you. 434 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:35,443 And who has 'mummy' as their safe word, you sicko? 435 00:21:35,617 --> 00:21:38,484 So I take it the Candy Boys have ceased operations? 436 00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:41,631 Yeah, well, I can't sit down. That makes dinner dates a bit trickier. 437 00:21:41,696 --> 00:21:43,642 Actually, have you got any more ice left? 438 00:21:43,707 --> 00:21:46,859 Yes. There's, like, one tiny cube around somewhere. 439 00:21:47,576 --> 00:21:49,022 I think I might have got it. 440 00:21:49,087 --> 00:21:50,460 Don't bite it! 441 00:21:55,221 --> 00:21:57,025 That is well soothing. 442 00:21:59,259 --> 00:22:03,859 Sync and corrections: minouhse www.addic7ed.com 37105

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