Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,110
- Jesus!
- Argh! Oh, Jesus!
2
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,790
God, who are you? Are you...?
3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,470
Oh, you're from... the, um, agency.
4
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,950
Sorry, do you want to
come in here to clean?
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,310
I'll get out. I was working.
6
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,630
- I'm freelance, so I
wasn't sleeping. - It's OK.
7
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,910
No, no, you don't
understand. I'm my own boss.
8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,870
I run my own PR firm company.
9
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:35,550
We deal in higher end... FMLG
-- fast-moving luxury goods.
10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,720
OK, well, I'll just...
I'll get back to my work.
11
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,710
Sorry, why are you putting this here?
12
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,630
This is the handlebar
from my daughter's scooter.
13
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,560
- Yes.
- You know scooter?
14
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,350
- It's dildo. - No, no, it's the
handlebar for my daughter's scooter.
15
00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,830
We need to put it back on.
16
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:04,430
It's proving tricky, because
the, uh... the rubber
17
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,390
is very tight on the
bar, so... so you know.
18
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,840
Hm, it's dildo.
19
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,720
Yes. Fine.
20
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,270
How's the freelancing?
Did you have a nice sleep?
21
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,910
Ha-ha. Hilarious.
22
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,430
Oh, hey, this might be Unilever.
23
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,230
- No, it's Paul.
- Oi, oi. Here she is -- Deborah Meaden.
24
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,590
Yep, I've done it. I'm
officially not employed by anyone.
25
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,270
You loving freelance? It's
like base jumping, innit?
26
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,390
You get a boner from launching
yourself into the void.
27
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,190
No 'chute, no strings, lone
wolf, solo polo. Love it.
28
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,670
Yeah, no, I'm raring to go.
29
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,750
Raring to go. I haven't got
masses on but, you know,
30
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,750
I'm going to use the time
to get all the things done
31
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,950
that I've been meaning to do, like, um...
32
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,310
Oh, oh, order a new
carbon monoxide detector,
33
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,150
get my skin tags off. I might
go on a mini break to Bruges.
34
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,830
Oh, Jill and I nearly went to Bruges once.
35
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,590
Great clocktower... apparently.
36
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,510
Word of advice -- don't
take your foot off the pedal.
37
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,070
- You'll never get it back on.
- Eh?
38
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,150
A few years back, I was flying
high, then I took a sabbatical,
39
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,310
went travelling. China, India,
some of the 'Stans. Big mistake.
40
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,190
When I came back, no
tosser would take my calls.
41
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,670
It's like I'd slid down a career snake.
42
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,710
- What do you mean?
- Good luck, yeah?
43
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,830
- Oh, hey, kids. Who's up for some
sausage sushi tonight? - Yeah, me!
44
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,510
- Yeah!
- Ooh, Jesus, Kevin.
45
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,030
Well, it's not actual sushi.
46
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,110
It's just sausage instead of the fish,
47
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,550
mashed potatoes instead of the rice,
48
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,310
and mushy peas instead of the wasabi.
49
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,190
But we still use chopsticks.
50
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,430
I can tell you exactly what
I'm having for dinner tonight.
51
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,950
Um, 50g of bran, two pears
and as much spinach as I like.
52
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,790
I feel great, really. Not hungry at all.
53
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,630
We're having kebabs as a treat
cos Charlie apologised to Mrs Lamb
54
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,870
for blaming his fart
on her in an assembly.
55
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:52,070
Oh, well done, Charlie. High five.
56
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,360
- OK, who's having a slice of
the spinning elephant leg? - Me!
57
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,510
What? Oh, for flip's sake.
58
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,310
They're so neat. Yeah,
this is what I want.
59
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,750
What the flip is that mad...
flipper doing in there?
60
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,320
What is this colour? This
is a lovely, warm... Yeah.
61
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,750
- No more 'babs, kids.
- But I want a kebab.
62
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,350
Let's go home.
63
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,480
I'll defrost a jar of hot dogs.
64
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:36,550
So, ladies. Names. Let me
run you through my faves.
65
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,070
- Sparkles and Rainbows.
- Mm, lovely.
66
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,670
- Maison, Maman, Papa, Bebe.
- Love it. - Mm-hm. Yeah.
67
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,910
- Baby Groomers.
- Babies and Gentlemen?
68
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,550
That's an awful idea, Anne.
69
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,110
Absolutely. I thought so,
too. Um, Bubble and Squeak.
70
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,550
You can't just say phrases, Anne.
71
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,110
It has to have something to
do with what's in the store.
72
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,350
- What is in the shop?
- Store.
73
00:03:55,400 --> 00:04:00,390
Well... people are always
asking how I look so stylish,
74
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,750
how my children are so on trend,
where did I get that amazing thing,
75
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,670
this amazing thing? Ahh...
76
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:10,790
So now I can just say in my shop... store.
77
00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,750
Store. Anne, focus.
78
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,870
Kapital Kebabs is gone.
79
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,190
The DIY shop went last month.
80
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,790
Got to go online now if you want pegs.
81
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,150
They shut down the post office,
and you know what's in there now?
82
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,710
Bubble tea.
83
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,430
Fucking bubble tea, Kevin!
84
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,510
The queue spills out into
the main road at lunchtimes.
85
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,870
I've had it with the yummy
mummification of the high street.
86
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,750
Kevin, are you listening?
87
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,710
- Hm? - This is important. They did
the best baba ghanoush in London.
88
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,550
Well, it's very easy to make at home.
89
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,110
Life's too short to dick
about with aubergines.
90
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,400
Go away!
91
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,070
They want me to cover for Teresa again.
92
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,190
I was promised flexi hours so I
could fit work around the kids.
93
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,390
Can't Jill do the kids? I
thought you life swapped.
94
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,390
Oh, no, she's gone back to full-time.
95
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,670
She's got her eye on a loft conversion.
96
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,990
A spare bedroom so she can get
away from my bloody breathing.
97
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,350
Only another 30 years and
you can kick back and die.
98
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,270
No, thank you.
99
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,800
I want to sit up and live, Liz.
100
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,870
Do you know what I've
always dreamed of being?
101
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:12,950
Male escort.
102
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,630
No, no, Liz.
103
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:19,870
I've always dreamed about
being a dad/children's author.
104
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,710
A bit like David Walliams,
but less sinister.
105
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,270
Oh, don't just dream it, Kevin be it.
106
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,030
I did, I did be it. I wrote a
book, when the kids started school.
107
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,470
Self-published, not because
no-one wanted to publish it,
108
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,670
but because I was very
particular about not being edited.
109
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,230
Which is good, really, cos
no-one wanted to publish it.
110
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,510
You wrote a book?
111
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,950
Yeah, it was one of those
stories with a profound meaning.
112
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,630
You know, like Paddington's
about immigration
113
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,990
or The Tiger Who Came To
Tea's about the Gestapo.
114
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,070
The tiger's a Nazi?
115
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,670
Well, that's just bleak,
you can't put that on kids.
116
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,630
My book's called Bye-Bye
Louis, Bye-Bye Clouse.
117
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,950
Oh, nice, what's it about?
118
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,590
Brexit.
119
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,670
Sit down, Anne.
120
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:57,870
Have some cake.
121
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,350
Oh, I shouldn't. OK.
122
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,910
What's the intel on Amanda's shop?
123
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,830
Well...
124
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,310
.. Johnny's bankrolling it,
to give Amanda a bit of focus
125
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,670
and to take the edge off
the whole separation.
126
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,710
She's actually having a
really hard time with it.
127
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,860
She went to pieces in Mums, Bums
and Tums last week, apparently.
128
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,360
I've just thought of a brilliant name.
129
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,070
- Hygge Tygge, that's very good.
- No, it's pronounced he-ger tee-ger.
130
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,630
No, actually, it's pronounced
hou-ger, to rhyme with cougar.
131
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,070
I know this because I bought Jill
a book on it for her birthday,
132
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,830
which she regifted to me on mine.
133
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,950
Right, well, I'm actually
having a bit of an unofficial
134
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,470
opening, not the big one,
but just a soft opening.
135
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,070
Kevin, do you fancy popping
into Amanda's soft opening?
136
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,430
Ooh, yes, when is it?
137
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,550
Thursday evening.
138
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,710
See you then.
139
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,200
I don't think so.
140
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,110
Sparkles and nibbles from seven.
141
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,390
Yeah, see you then.
142
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,070
Oh, look at her.
143
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,430
Are you OK, Julia?
144
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,870
- Yeah.
- Hey, here's an idea,
145
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,950
how about you do one of your
little PR launches on my store,
146
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,350
now that you're at a loose end?
147
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,590
Julia, I would love to help a fellow
mumtrepreneur get back on her feet.
148
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,350
No, my client base is
much more FMLG, you know?
149
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,710
- What? - Fast-moving luxury
goods, it's a industry term, Amanda.
150
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,800
No, I meant what client base?
151
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,280
- Come on, Jules.
- You're all right, mate.
152
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,590
You all right? You look
like a mental patient.
153
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,430
Yeah, no, I'm great, I'm brilliant.
I'm just in a period of adjustment,
154
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,870
just adjusting to being self-employed.
155
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,830
Haven't even got a stapler
yet, I had loads at work.
156
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,790
And I can't sneak off to the toilet
with the reception's copy of Grazia
157
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,110
to take a long poo, because
it's on my time now.
158
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,390
You know, not on the company dime.
159
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,630
Oh, I love Grazia.
160
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,190
Who do I talk to about Love
Island with at the water cooler?
161
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,190
I actually thought about getting
one, but they're very heavy
162
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,710
and realistically I'm
not going to get through
163
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,070
18.9 litres of water a week.
164
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,670
That is a hell of a lot of water.
165
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,830
I might pop back to the office
just to see how they all are,
166
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,990
Just nick some Post-Its or...
167
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,030
No, no, come on, Jules!
168
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,430
We can do this.
169
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,550
Let's make a pact.
170
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,870
What, to kill ourselves?
171
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,590
- I'm in. - No, let's make
a pact to follow our dreams
172
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,030
and bloody make it happen.
173
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,590
We can be anything we want to be!
174
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,110
And if that doesn't work, just
do what I do and drastically
175
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,880
lower your expectations!
176
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,430
Now, darling, will you
go sit quietly over there
177
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,630
on the reindeer skin pouffe?
There we go, good boy.
178
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,950
Sparkles? Bubbles?
179
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,270
Sparkly bubbles?
180
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,870
Sparkles.
181
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,080
Bubbly sparkles?
182
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,030
Does it smell kebab-y
in here to you, Anne?
183
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,070
Is that what that is?
184
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,190
I thought it was me.
185
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,790
God, I'm hungry.
186
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,350
Sparkly bubbles? Sparkles, bubbles,
187
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,640
sparkly bubbles?
188
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,040
Bubbly sparkles?
189
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,670
Fancy seeing you here.
190
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,630
Oh, well, I thought I'd just pop in!
191
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,350
From Leatherhead? Must be an hour,
what, an hour and a half's drive?
192
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,790
It's nice to show support, isn't it?
193
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,830
So, I have to open my own
shop for you to come and visit
194
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,590
me now, Mother?
195
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,950
Unbelievable.
196
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,030
This is where the counter was.
197
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,590
Tub of hummus there, tzatziki
there, then your baba ghanoush.
198
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,510
This is where all the
salad-y bits would be.
199
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,670
So, like, your shredded red
cabbage, shredded white cabbage.
200
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,710
- Chilli sauce...
- Sparkly bubbles!
201
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,150
Sparkly bubbles?
202
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,630
Oh, I'll mind this area, thank you, Anne!
203
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,670
So, how's the freewheeling going?
204
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,150
Freelancing. Yes, it's great,
going really well, it's a breeze.
205
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,350
Well, there you are then.
206
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,910
No, it's actually really hard,
it's very difficult setting
207
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,590
up a business from scratch when your
client base goes from 58 to zero.
208
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,710
Well, you're very good at what you do.
209
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,470
Which is?
210
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,830
Parties and whatnot.
211
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,630
I'm in PR. PR, public relations?
212
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,150
Do you know what that is, mother?
213
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,190
- Yes!
- Yes, you baby boomers, eh?
214
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,870
As long as you're OK!
215
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:56,430
"I bought my house for £7,000,
I got my lung fixed for free.
216
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,790
"And now I'm busy swanning
around, spending my husband's big,
217
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,830
"fat pension from the GLC."
218
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,590
I don't think your generation
have any idea how difficult
219
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,990
it is juggling a career and children.
220
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,350
Well, Amanda seems to
be managing very well.
221
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,470
You think playing shops at Johnny's
expense is running a business?
222
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,110
This is just a glorified vanity project
223
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,070
to take her mind off the fact
that she no longer has a husband.
224
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,910
Well, I'll put back this perfumed
owl thing I was going to buy you
225
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,230
- for your home office.
- Yes, do.
226
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,190
You shouldn't be wasting my
inheritance on smelly, old owls.
227
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,190
Great soft opening, Amanda.
228
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,470
Love it.
229
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,910
So, I see you sell books?
230
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,230
Oh, these, no, they're not for
reading, they're for arranging
231
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,070
- on coffee tables.
- Oh, right.
232
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,670
Because I wrote a book that
would look quite nice on a table.
233
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,870
I mean, in an ideal world,
people would read it, too,
234
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,590
but, you know. People lead
such busy lives these days.
235
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,830
Kevin, tonight is about supporting me.
236
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,030
People are here to buy, not sell.
237
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,190
Yeah, of course!
238
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,310
Of course. Oh! This is chic, this...
239
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,230
How much is this one?
240
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,950
Um, oh, we're cashless, Kevin!
241
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,510
Oh, OK.
242
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,990
I left, I left my Monzo card at home.
243
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,600
Oh.
244
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,030
So, I'll swing by with the books tomoz!
245
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,030
God loves a tryer, but
no-one wants this bollocks.
246
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,270
I know, yeah.
247
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,430
If you want my professional
opinion, which I know you do,
248
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,550
this place is going to fold in two months.
249
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,790
Because none of this was here!
250
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,200
All right, Amanda? What a triumph!
251
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,070
- Cake in a jar?
- Thank you!
252
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,510
- Cake in a jar?
- Oh, no, thanks.
253
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,110
- Cake in a jar? - Go on, I'll
have a cake in a fucking jar.
254
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,750
Can you open my cake, Kev?
255
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,030
Cake in a jar?
256
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,510
Cake in a jar? Cake in a jar?
257
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,470
Come the revolution, this will
be the first place to get torched.
258
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,070
She says, sipping Prosecco at the
soft opening of a concept store.
259
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,670
Is someone jealous?
260
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,390
- Is that what it is?
- Jealous?
261
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,190
Of this, of me? Is that why
you've been telling people
262
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,110
this is a vanity project?
263
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,590
I don't think I am.
264
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,830
So, why did my son just ask
me what a vanity project is?
265
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,230
Don't know.
266
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,590
"What's a vanity project, Mummy?"
267
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,990
"Where did you hear that, darling?"
268
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,270
"Ivy's mum just said your
shop is a vanity project."
269
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,320
No, I think he misheard.
270
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,550
Did you mishear, Manus?
271
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,950
You definitely did, Manus, because
what I think, I think I said
272
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,830
is that this is definitely
not a vanity project.
273
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,110
Did Ivy's mum say this is
definitely not a vanity project?
274
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,830
I definitely did, Manus, so...
275
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,270
So, Manus is lying?
276
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,230
No, he's just not telling
the truth about what I said!
277
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,630
Because my actual words,
I think, to quote, were,
278
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:17,630
"This is definitely not a vanity
project, this is the real deal."
279
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:21,750
So, mate, hey, look, we all
mishear things from time to time,
280
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,430
but the main thing is that
you've got your mummy's back.
281
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,520
Good boy!
282
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,470
Actually, actually!
283
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,630
I wanted to say, you
know, you made this sound
284
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,670
like it was just a...
285
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:39,310
.. kiosk! Actually, it
is a full-blown boutique.
286
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,590
And...
287
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,270
.. I want to get involved.
288
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,910
- Do you?
- Yes, Amanda.
289
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,870
I'm going to help you get
this shop launched hard.
290
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,590
Store!
291
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,190
Ladies and gents!
292
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:57,310
Friends and neighbours, please
raise your glasses to Hyga Tyga!
293
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,910
Hygge Tygge.
294
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,150
- Hygy Tygy!
- Hurda Turda.
295
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,480
One month.
296
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,350
Thought you said 11?
297
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,510
Sure, but I have a massage booked
for then, so I whizzed over early.
298
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,430
I thought you would have
showered by now, Julia.
299
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,870
Um...
300
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,560
.. well, I guess it's just us.
301
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,270
Well, this is a cosy little...
302
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,590
.. worky corner!
303
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,670
Yeah, so, thoughts.
304
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,630
I'm thinking about brand personalisation.
305
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,270
So, if your shop had a
face, what would that be?
306
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,430
Stop, I love that. If my shop
had a -- store -- had a face,
307
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,470
it would be my face.
308
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,600
For example, how, how would
that face make you feel?
309
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,560
- Blessed.
- Hm.
310
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,830
So, I've been putting together
a strategy for the next stage
311
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,550
of the launch. So, for example,
this is what we did for Muji.
312
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,230
Get you! You know your onions!
313
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,550
I always wondered what you
got up to at your work.
314
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,430
- Mm? - Well, because you
always made it look so hard.
315
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,670
You know? Like your eyes were going
to pop out with the stress sometimes.
316
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,870
I don't know.
317
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,430
I'm finding it quite manageable, actually.
318
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:15,580
Oh!
319
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,480
Amanda Holden just liked my post.
320
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,080
Go on!
321
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,790
It's like a fucking knick-knack prison.
322
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,430
I mean, Kapital Kebabs' window was awful.
323
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,990
Had all these photos of kebabs and
saveloys that looked disgusting,
324
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,600
but tasted delicious.
325
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,110
This place is part of my history.
326
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,550
My waters broke in there, with Max.
327
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,950
Where Anne's standing.
328
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,350
There. Look, right there.
329
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,440
Let's go in.
330
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,550
Come on, Kev, Amanda's your mate!
331
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,110
She should bloody stock it.
332
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,790
It's just...
333
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,750
.. this is a really big deal for me.
334
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,190
I put my heart into this book.
335
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,750
Did your girls do the drawings?
336
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:05,830
No!
337
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,310
Jill's cousin.
338
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,310
She's a part-time artist.
339
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,910
I love the way she's made the
tears the stars of the EU flag.
340
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,350
Yeah, that's really clever.
341
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,280
Come on, Kev, let's go in.
342
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,990
Receipt's in the bag.
343
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,280
- Thanks.
- Great, thank you.
344
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,830
Hi, Anne.
345
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,990
Did Amanda mention I was going
to be swinging by with my book?
346
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,550
Yeah, it's just one of those
stories with a profound message.
347
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,790
Like Paddington's about liberation.
348
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,550
It's just right for Hooga Tooga, I think.
349
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,990
Herga Terga.
350
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,190
I couldn't say.
351
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,750
Amanda's whole thing is,
352
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,120
"Would I have this in my house?" And...
353
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,390
.. yeah, you're going to
have to talk to Amanda.
354
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,750
She's just away.
355
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,920
- Eyelash extensions.
- OK.
356
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,110
I don't know, Liz.
357
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,790
We should have got the
OK from Amanda first.
358
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,190
It will spoil the surprise!
359
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,470
I think you're mocking me!
360
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,150
I am not, how dare you!
361
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,590
Sorry, I thought you were.
362
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,070
Well, I was. Only a tiny bit.
363
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,750
Not cool, Kevin!
364
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,040
Not cool.
365
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,720
Your books.
366
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,270
I'm not going to press
charges, but I am pretty sure
367
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,670
what you did is illegal.
368
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,510
Oh, no, sorry. Sorry I can explain.
369
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,190
I think maybe I...
370
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,680
.. Liz...
371
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,510
We thought because you
and I are friends...
372
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,590
OK, can I just clarify, I
am never stocking your book.
373
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,840
And B, we're not friends.
374
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,230
- But we're friendly?
- We're not friends, Kevin.
375
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,630
- Our kids are friends?
- I'm not stocking your book.
376
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:47,800
Did you read it?
377
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,430
Anne!
378
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,150
Who's at the shop? Store!
379
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,070
Sorry, I just had to pick up Darius,
cos it's, you know, home time?
380
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,110
Exactly, Anne, this is
peak post-school footfall!
381
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,270
Give me the keys!
382
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,990
Right, OK, sorry, OK.
383
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,070
- So, these do the shutters, OK?
- Yeah.
384
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,830
Front door.
385
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,230
Yale and deadlock.
386
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,710
OK, back door.
387
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,190
Bin gate.
388
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,870
Ignore that one.
389
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,830
Bogs, fuse cupboard, which
you probably won't need.
390
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,710
OK, just give them to me!
391
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:20,440
- Anne, you need to pick up
Manus and Georgie! - OK, OK!
392
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,950
- Hey! - Oh, hi! Julia, I'll
just be with you in a moment,
393
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,310
- just rushed off my feet right now.
- Yeah, I can see that.
394
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,590
They probably saw you on Living
Etc online or in the Mumsnet piece
395
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,870
I wangled. You know, that's
10,000 hits per minute.
396
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,550
- So, that's quite a coup.
Well done me! - Yeah.
397
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,550
I actually forgot how good I am at my job.
398
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,750
You know, I really enjoyed the challenge.
399
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,790
You know, just gave me the kick I needed.
400
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,590
You're welcome, I'm glad I...
401
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,750
.. got you out of your little hole.
402
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,350
No, no, you didn't get
me out of a little hole,
403
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,910
I-I-I got you out of your big hole.
404
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,110
I think this is going to
look great on your CV, Julia.
405
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,190
I don't have a CV, it's not the '80s.
406
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,990
Well, it'll look great on your LinkedIn.
407
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,390
Oh!
408
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,070
200 likes on my bamboo trivet!
409
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,240
Ding!
410
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,910
- Can I help you with something, Julia?
- No, no, it's just I wanted
411
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,390
- to say, you're welcome.
- My pleasure!
412
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,030
- My pleasure!
- No problem.
413
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,950
No, it's just that usually I charge
£400 a day for this kind of major
414
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,750
brand consultancy work
and I did spend four days
415
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,120
in my pokey worky corner, pulling
in lots of favours, so...
416
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,880
For your bedroom office.
417
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,310
Mm.
418
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,710
Yeah, it's lovely.
419
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,520
That's £89, please.
420
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,320
Cards only, we're cashless.
421
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,430
It was just the smugness.
422
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,070
Smuggy Tuggy!
423
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,230
It was upsetting anyway,
but there were tea bags
424
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,590
in the bottom of that bin liner.
425
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,710
Two of my books are water damaged!
426
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,150
Yeah, well, I did all that
work for free! As a favour!
427
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,630
I thought it was because you called
Manus a liar and had to dig yourself
428
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,710
out of it.
429
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,190
No, I did that out of the
kindness of my heart, Liz.
430
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,270
- I did very good work on that campaign.
- Can I ask...
431
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,590
.. are we friends?
432
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,230
- Define friends.
- Course we're friends, Kevin.
433
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,710
Thank you, Julia.
434
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,270
Because, you know, I've
always been there for Amanda.
435
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,510
I ran her class rep
campaign for three years.
436
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,870
I gave out leaflets till my thumbs bled.
437
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,230
I'm surprised you're surprised!
438
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,750
Amanda's a parasite!
439
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,270
A big, blonde tick, sucking
the high street dry.
440
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,870
Yes, but this is my point, Liz!
441
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,990
Not even a thank you, not a
discount off a candle that cost more
442
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,710
than a return flight to Spain!
443
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,110
I hate to say this, but
Amanda has been a right
444
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,110
B-1-T-C-H.
445
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,190
Bitch.
446
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,590
You know there are more
Hygge Tygge haters out there?
447
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,670
Are there?
448
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,150
On the Acton Forum.
449
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,240
Oh, yeah? Show me.
450
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,430
Read that one.
451
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,950
ActonSquirrel, aw, that's sweet.
452
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,390
"Shit shops like Hygge Tygge
are destroying the community.
453
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,910
"Why can't all the yummy
mummies roll up their yoga mats
454
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,950
"and knob off back to Nappy Valley?"
455
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,790
That's an angry squirrel,
isn't it? Right there.
456
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,870
You write one.
457
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,350
- No! - Go on! - OK.
458
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,630
Don't do it under your own name!
459
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,990
Oh, yeah.
460
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,190
That's a good point, who shall I be?
461
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,640
I've got a good one.
462
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,990
Crouch End Tiger, that's brilliant!
463
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,110
I heard...
464
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,630
.. about this shop...
465
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,630
.. through the excellent publicity push.
466
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:40,990
But it turns out it is a load of old shit.
467
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,710
Clever. You do one, Kev!
468
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,070
- No!
- Go on!
469
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:47,040
I can't. OK.
470
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,150
Shit is the word.
471
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,830
"Shit is the word."
472
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,270
If this shop were a shit, it
would be a great, big, pointless
473
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,120
shit, shat out...
474
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,590
.. of a shitty bumhole.
475
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,990
You should work in PR, Kev!
476
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,150
Right, I need more wine.
477
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,110
No, don't, just one more!
478
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,320
This...
479
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,470
.. shop...
480
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:25,630
.. is a shit stain on the high street.
481
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,640
#ShitShop.
482
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,750
No, I should delete that.
483
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:34,990
No, we should take that one out.
484
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,030
We should delete that,
I'll get some more wine.
485
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,390
Get me some cheese balls!
486
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,080
Get them yourself, you lazy bitch!
487
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,430
You know you've had a good
night when you find crisps
488
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,030
in your knickers.
489
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,390
Hey, guys, have you heard?
490
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,750
Amanda's shop's been sabotaged.
491
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,350
Somebody threw a poo at it.
492
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,190
- What?
- Isn't it terrible?
493
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,630
Someone threw a poo at Hygge
Tygge, and then graffitied #ShitShop
494
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,070
on the window, apparently.
495
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,310
Definitely said #ShitShop?
496
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,520
Yeah!
497
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,510
You deleted it, Liz, didn't you?
498
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,470
You definitely deleted it, #ShitShop?
499
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,670
Yeah.
500
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,030
Well... I thought Kev did.
501
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,390
I thought you did!
502
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,840
Oh, Kevin and Liz, what have you done?
503
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,310
Oh, it's not as bad as Anne made out!
504
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,390
Just squirt a bit of
bleach and knock it off!
505
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,950
I feel terrible.
506
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,070
I'm going to I call in sick,
don't you feel terrible?
507
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,750
- No.
- We have to say something.
508
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,350
No-one's saying anything, Kevin!
509
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,750
I've seen Happy Valley, I
know how this plays out!
510
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,950
We fess up now, before it spirals.
511
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,790
Remind me never to rob a bank with you.
512
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,350
You're a very weak wingman, Kevin.
513
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,630
We're not fessing up anything,
we didn't throw the shit!
514
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,720
Or did we?
515
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,750
- Did you?
- Course I didn't!
516
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,630
What, you think I'd pick up a shit?
517
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,830
Worse still, do one in
my hand and bring it...
518
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,070
Have you seen it?
519
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,430
Yes, yeah.
520
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,750
It's not so bad.
521
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,150
I think you'd... you'd
have to be looking for...
522
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,550
I think if they didn't say #ShitShop,
523
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,350
I think you'd just think
a bird had done it.
524
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:06,350
I think what hurts most is
it's a store, not a shop.
525
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,870
The police are saying it
started on the Acton Forum.
526
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,070
- Police?
- Why?
527
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,790
Why, Julia?
528
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,950
What?
529
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,510
Oh, yes.
530
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,870
Just, I think people got carried away.
531
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,350
Had too many drinks,
egged on by friends or...
532
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,990
.. people they're friendly with?
533
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,030
I'm sure they didn't mean any harm.
534
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,150
Anyway, I'm a big fan of this
shop, so I'm going to pop inside
535
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,720
and I'm going to spend, spend, spend!
536
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,230
There's bound to be CCTV of the shop.
537
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,230
There's CCTV everywhere!
538
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,870
I'm not sure Gill would look after
the kids if I went to prison!
539
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,430
You didn't do it, Kev, remember?
540
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,830
Right, I've just spent
£236 in Hygge-bloody-Tygge,
541
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,710
assuaging my guilt, which,
by the way, I'm only
542
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,190
a third responsible for.
543
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,190
You're the PR genius, who
came up with #ShitShop.
544
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,190
- Thank you. - I don't know how you
can both act so cool about this, like
545
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,070
nothing happened! We incited a hate crime!
546
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,070
I think what we are all forgetting
in this is that it is a shit shop!
547
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,550
It doesn't matter, Liz!
548
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:14,990
Amanda was so upset!
549
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,510
What do you want us to do?
550
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,110
I want to do the decent thing!
551
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,150
Admit our part in all of this!
552
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,030
"Silence becomes cowardice, when
occasion demands the speaking
553
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,990
"out of a whole truth
and acting accordingly."
554
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,030
- Who said that?
- Ghandi!
555
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,990
Yeah, and look what happened to him.
556
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,270
I need some air.
557
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,680
You're in a park, Kevin!
558
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,430
He's breaking.
559
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,070
We're going to have to cut him loose.
560
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,310
What?
561
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,990
Kill him?
562
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,440
I was thinking more delete
him from our WhatsApp group.
563
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,910
- Kevin, what are you doing?
- I can't get it out of my head!
564
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,710
The guilt is eating me up!
565
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,230
Why didn't you phone or text?
566
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,230
Are you mental? And leave a paper trail?
567
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,750
Go home and go to sleep.
568
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,230
I can't sleep!
569
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,790
I've had half a bottle of Night Nurse
and two chamomile teas and nothing!
570
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,750
- Nothing! - Right, well,
just go and see Liz, then!
571
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,070
Do you think Liz did it?
572
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,480
Oh, fuck off, Kevin!
573
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,640
All right, Kev?
574
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,320
Still not looking at us.
575
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,790
Something's up with Kevin.
576
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,350
I'm really good at picking
up on these kind of things.
577
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,310
All right, I can't deal
with this. Come on.
578
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,710
Let's sort it out.
579
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,030
Kev. Kevin.
580
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,430
Kev? Kev? Look at me.
581
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,070
Kev! Kevin! Look at me, look at me, Kevin!
582
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,560
You're clearly upset about this.
583
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,070
Just a bit, yeah.
584
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,590
What do you want us to do? What
would make you feel better?
585
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,070
What would make me feel better?
586
00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,190
Um... we tell the truth!
587
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,070
All right, OK!
588
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,590
If that's what you'd like, that's
what will make you feel better,
589
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,190
that's fine. OK?
590
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,590
Because you are our friend
and we care about you,
591
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,080
Liz will take the rap.
592
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,590
Why am I doing this again?
593
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,830
Because you don't care, Liz,
and you've got nothing to lose.
594
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,310
And Kevin's having your kids
for the next four Saturdays.
595
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,800
Oh, what?
596
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,670
Look lovely and svelte
in that picture, Amanda.
597
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,950
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
598
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,270
- It's a lovely shot.
- It's gorgeous.
599
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,230
- What's all this?
- ActonToday.co.uk about the incident.
600
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,830
Main body of the website, next
to profile on Adrian Chiles
601
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,920
- visiting a city farm.
- Right, that's... - Amazing!
602
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,630
So funny, Julia!
603
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,670
I've had more press
from a crap on my window
604
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,470
than from your entire PR push!
605
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,670
Anne's had to restock
the pencil plates twice!
606
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,390
- Twice? - Yeah. - Twice! - Yeah.
607
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,750
Well, right, then it's
all worked out in the end!
608
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,270
- But, um, we just wanted to say...
- No, no!
609
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,880
Nothing, great. I think
that sounds wonderful.
610
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,520
Job done, then.
611
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,790
Can I help you with something, Julia?
612
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,150
No, no, just interesting
that you think this, um,
613
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,440
this flurry of press attention just,
um, miraculised out of nowhere.
614
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,390
- What do you mean?
- What do you think I mean? Think about it.
615
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:19,430
Let's go!
616
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,000
#You'reWelcome.
617
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,360
Right, bubble tea?
46900
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.