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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,110 - Jesus! - Argh! Oh, Jesus! 2 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,790 God, who are you? Are you...? 3 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:16,470 Oh, you're from... the, um, agency. 4 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,950 Sorry, do you want to come in here to clean? 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,310 I'll get out. I was working. 6 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,630 - I'm freelance, so I wasn't sleeping. - It's OK. 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,910 No, no, you don't understand. I'm my own boss. 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,870 I run my own PR firm company. 9 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:35,550 We deal in higher end... FMLG -- fast-moving luxury goods. 10 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,720 OK, well, I'll just... I'll get back to my work. 11 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,710 Sorry, why are you putting this here? 12 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,630 This is the handlebar from my daughter's scooter. 13 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,560 - Yes. - You know scooter? 14 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,350 - It's dildo. - No, no, it's the handlebar for my daughter's scooter. 15 00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,830 We need to put it back on. 16 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:04,430 It's proving tricky, because the, uh... the rubber 17 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:09,390 is very tight on the bar, so... so you know. 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,840 Hm, it's dildo. 19 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,720 Yes. Fine. 20 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,270 How's the freelancing? Did you have a nice sleep? 21 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,910 Ha-ha. Hilarious. 22 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,430 Oh, hey, this might be Unilever. 23 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,230 - No, it's Paul. - Oi, oi. Here she is -- Deborah Meaden. 24 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,590 Yep, I've done it. I'm officially not employed by anyone. 25 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,270 You loving freelance? It's like base jumping, innit? 26 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,390 You get a boner from launching yourself into the void. 27 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,190 No 'chute, no strings, lone wolf, solo polo. Love it. 28 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,670 Yeah, no, I'm raring to go. 29 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,750 Raring to go. I haven't got masses on but, you know, 30 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,750 I'm going to use the time to get all the things done 31 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,950 that I've been meaning to do, like, um... 32 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,310 Oh, oh, order a new carbon monoxide detector, 33 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,150 get my skin tags off. I might go on a mini break to Bruges. 34 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,830 Oh, Jill and I nearly went to Bruges once. 35 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,590 Great clocktower... apparently. 36 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,510 Word of advice -- don't take your foot off the pedal. 37 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,070 - You'll never get it back on. - Eh? 38 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,150 A few years back, I was flying high, then I took a sabbatical, 39 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,310 went travelling. China, India, some of the 'Stans. Big mistake. 40 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,190 When I came back, no tosser would take my calls. 41 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,670 It's like I'd slid down a career snake. 42 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,710 - What do you mean? - Good luck, yeah? 43 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,830 - Oh, hey, kids. Who's up for some sausage sushi tonight? - Yeah, me! 44 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,510 - Yeah! - Ooh, Jesus, Kevin. 45 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,030 Well, it's not actual sushi. 46 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,110 It's just sausage instead of the fish, 47 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,550 mashed potatoes instead of the rice, 48 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,310 and mushy peas instead of the wasabi. 49 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,190 But we still use chopsticks. 50 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,430 I can tell you exactly what I'm having for dinner tonight. 51 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,950 Um, 50g of bran, two pears and as much spinach as I like. 52 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,790 I feel great, really. Not hungry at all. 53 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,630 We're having kebabs as a treat cos Charlie apologised to Mrs Lamb 54 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,870 for blaming his fart on her in an assembly. 55 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:52,070 Oh, well done, Charlie. High five. 56 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,360 - OK, who's having a slice of the spinning elephant leg? - Me! 57 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,510 What? Oh, for flip's sake. 58 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,310 They're so neat. Yeah, this is what I want. 59 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,750 What the flip is that mad... flipper doing in there? 60 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,320 What is this colour? This is a lovely, warm... Yeah. 61 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,750 - No more 'babs, kids. - But I want a kebab. 62 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,350 Let's go home. 63 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,480 I'll defrost a jar of hot dogs. 64 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:36,550 So, ladies. Names. Let me run you through my faves. 65 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,070 - Sparkles and Rainbows. - Mm, lovely. 66 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,670 - Maison, Maman, Papa, Bebe. - Love it. - Mm-hm. Yeah. 67 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,910 - Baby Groomers. - Babies and Gentlemen? 68 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,550 That's an awful idea, Anne. 69 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,110 Absolutely. I thought so, too. Um, Bubble and Squeak. 70 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,550 You can't just say phrases, Anne. 71 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,110 It has to have something to do with what's in the store. 72 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,350 - What is in the shop? - Store. 73 00:03:55,400 --> 00:04:00,390 Well... people are always asking how I look so stylish, 74 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,750 how my children are so on trend, where did I get that amazing thing, 75 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,670 this amazing thing? Ahh... 76 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:10,790 So now I can just say in my shop... store. 77 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,750 Store. Anne, focus. 78 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,870 Kapital Kebabs is gone. 79 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,190 The DIY shop went last month. 80 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,790 Got to go online now if you want pegs. 81 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,150 They shut down the post office, and you know what's in there now? 82 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,710 Bubble tea. 83 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,430 Fucking bubble tea, Kevin! 84 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,510 The queue spills out into the main road at lunchtimes. 85 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,870 I've had it with the yummy mummification of the high street. 86 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,750 Kevin, are you listening? 87 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,710 - Hm? - This is important. They did the best baba ghanoush in London. 88 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,550 Well, it's very easy to make at home. 89 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,110 Life's too short to dick about with aubergines. 90 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,400 Go away! 91 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,070 They want me to cover for Teresa again. 92 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,190 I was promised flexi hours so I could fit work around the kids. 93 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,390 Can't Jill do the kids? I thought you life swapped. 94 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,390 Oh, no, she's gone back to full-time. 95 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,670 She's got her eye on a loft conversion. 96 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,990 A spare bedroom so she can get away from my bloody breathing. 97 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,350 Only another 30 years and you can kick back and die. 98 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,270 No, thank you. 99 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,800 I want to sit up and live, Liz. 100 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,870 Do you know what I've always dreamed of being? 101 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:12,950 Male escort. 102 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,630 No, no, Liz. 103 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:19,870 I've always dreamed about being a dad/children's author. 104 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,710 A bit like David Walliams, but less sinister. 105 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,270 Oh, don't just dream it, Kevin be it. 106 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,030 I did, I did be it. I wrote a book, when the kids started school. 107 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,470 Self-published, not because no-one wanted to publish it, 108 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,670 but because I was very particular about not being edited. 109 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,230 Which is good, really, cos no-one wanted to publish it. 110 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,510 You wrote a book? 111 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,950 Yeah, it was one of those stories with a profound meaning. 112 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,630 You know, like Paddington's about immigration 113 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,990 or The Tiger Who Came To Tea's about the Gestapo. 114 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,070 The tiger's a Nazi? 115 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,670 Well, that's just bleak, you can't put that on kids. 116 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,630 My book's called Bye-Bye Louis, Bye-Bye Clouse. 117 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,950 Oh, nice, what's it about? 118 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,590 Brexit. 119 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,670 Sit down, Anne. 120 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:57,870 Have some cake. 121 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,350 Oh, I shouldn't. OK. 122 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,910 What's the intel on Amanda's shop? 123 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,830 Well... 124 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,310 .. Johnny's bankrolling it, to give Amanda a bit of focus 125 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,670 and to take the edge off the whole separation. 126 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,710 She's actually having a really hard time with it. 127 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,860 She went to pieces in Mums, Bums and Tums last week, apparently. 128 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,360 I've just thought of a brilliant name. 129 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,070 - Hygge Tygge, that's very good. - No, it's pronounced he-ger tee-ger. 130 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,630 No, actually, it's pronounced hou-ger, to rhyme with cougar. 131 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,070 I know this because I bought Jill a book on it for her birthday, 132 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,830 which she regifted to me on mine. 133 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,950 Right, well, I'm actually having a bit of an unofficial 134 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:38,470 opening, not the big one, but just a soft opening. 135 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,070 Kevin, do you fancy popping into Amanda's soft opening? 136 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,430 Ooh, yes, when is it? 137 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,550 Thursday evening. 138 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,710 See you then. 139 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,200 I don't think so. 140 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,110 Sparkles and nibbles from seven. 141 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,390 Yeah, see you then. 142 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,070 Oh, look at her. 143 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,430 Are you OK, Julia? 144 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,870 - Yeah. - Hey, here's an idea, 145 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,950 how about you do one of your little PR launches on my store, 146 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,350 now that you're at a loose end? 147 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,590 Julia, I would love to help a fellow mumtrepreneur get back on her feet. 148 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,350 No, my client base is much more FMLG, you know? 149 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,710 - What? - Fast-moving luxury goods, it's a industry term, Amanda. 150 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,800 No, I meant what client base? 151 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,280 - Come on, Jules. - You're all right, mate. 152 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,590 You all right? You look like a mental patient. 153 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,430 Yeah, no, I'm great, I'm brilliant. I'm just in a period of adjustment, 154 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,870 just adjusting to being self-employed. 155 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,830 Haven't even got a stapler yet, I had loads at work. 156 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,790 And I can't sneak off to the toilet with the reception's copy of Grazia 157 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,110 to take a long poo, because it's on my time now. 158 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,390 You know, not on the company dime. 159 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,630 Oh, I love Grazia. 160 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,190 Who do I talk to about Love Island with at the water cooler? 161 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,190 I actually thought about getting one, but they're very heavy 162 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,710 and realistically I'm not going to get through 163 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,070 18.9 litres of water a week. 164 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,670 That is a hell of a lot of water. 165 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,830 I might pop back to the office just to see how they all are, 166 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,990 Just nick some Post-Its or... 167 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,030 No, no, come on, Jules! 168 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,430 We can do this. 169 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,550 Let's make a pact. 170 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:07,870 What, to kill ourselves? 171 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,590 - I'm in. - No, let's make a pact to follow our dreams 172 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,030 and bloody make it happen. 173 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,590 We can be anything we want to be! 174 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,110 And if that doesn't work, just do what I do and drastically 175 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,880 lower your expectations! 176 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,430 Now, darling, will you go sit quietly over there 177 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,630 on the reindeer skin pouffe? There we go, good boy. 178 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,950 Sparkles? Bubbles? 179 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,270 Sparkly bubbles? 180 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,870 Sparkles. 181 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,080 Bubbly sparkles? 182 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,030 Does it smell kebab-y in here to you, Anne? 183 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,070 Is that what that is? 184 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,190 I thought it was me. 185 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,790 God, I'm hungry. 186 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,350 Sparkly bubbles? Sparkles, bubbles, 187 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,640 sparkly bubbles? 188 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,040 Bubbly sparkles? 189 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,670 Fancy seeing you here. 190 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,630 Oh, well, I thought I'd just pop in! 191 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,350 From Leatherhead? Must be an hour, what, an hour and a half's drive? 192 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,790 It's nice to show support, isn't it? 193 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,830 So, I have to open my own shop for you to come and visit 194 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,590 me now, Mother? 195 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,950 Unbelievable. 196 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,030 This is where the counter was. 197 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,590 Tub of hummus there, tzatziki there, then your baba ghanoush. 198 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,510 This is where all the salad-y bits would be. 199 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,670 So, like, your shredded red cabbage, shredded white cabbage. 200 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,710 - Chilli sauce... - Sparkly bubbles! 201 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,150 Sparkly bubbles? 202 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,630 Oh, I'll mind this area, thank you, Anne! 203 00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,670 So, how's the freewheeling going? 204 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,150 Freelancing. Yes, it's great, going really well, it's a breeze. 205 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,350 Well, there you are then. 206 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,910 No, it's actually really hard, it's very difficult setting 207 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,590 up a business from scratch when your client base goes from 58 to zero. 208 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,710 Well, you're very good at what you do. 209 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,470 Which is? 210 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,830 Parties and whatnot. 211 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,630 I'm in PR. PR, public relations? 212 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,150 Do you know what that is, mother? 213 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,190 - Yes! - Yes, you baby boomers, eh? 214 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,870 As long as you're OK! 215 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:56,430 "I bought my house for £7,000, I got my lung fixed for free. 216 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,790 "And now I'm busy swanning around, spending my husband's big, 217 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,830 "fat pension from the GLC." 218 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,590 I don't think your generation have any idea how difficult 219 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,990 it is juggling a career and children. 220 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,350 Well, Amanda seems to be managing very well. 221 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,470 You think playing shops at Johnny's expense is running a business? 222 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,110 This is just a glorified vanity project 223 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,070 to take her mind off the fact that she no longer has a husband. 224 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,910 Well, I'll put back this perfumed owl thing I was going to buy you 225 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,230 - for your home office. - Yes, do. 226 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,190 You shouldn't be wasting my inheritance on smelly, old owls. 227 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,190 Great soft opening, Amanda. 228 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,470 Love it. 229 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,910 So, I see you sell books? 230 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,230 Oh, these, no, they're not for reading, they're for arranging 231 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,070 - on coffee tables. - Oh, right. 232 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,670 Because I wrote a book that would look quite nice on a table. 233 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,870 I mean, in an ideal world, people would read it, too, 234 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,590 but, you know. People lead such busy lives these days. 235 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,830 Kevin, tonight is about supporting me. 236 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,030 People are here to buy, not sell. 237 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,190 Yeah, of course! 238 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,310 Of course. Oh! This is chic, this... 239 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,230 How much is this one? 240 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:53,950 Um, oh, we're cashless, Kevin! 241 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,510 Oh, OK. 242 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,990 I left, I left my Monzo card at home. 243 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,600 Oh. 244 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,030 So, I'll swing by with the books tomoz! 245 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,030 God loves a tryer, but no-one wants this bollocks. 246 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,270 I know, yeah. 247 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,430 If you want my professional opinion, which I know you do, 248 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,550 this place is going to fold in two months. 249 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,790 Because none of this was here! 250 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,200 All right, Amanda? What a triumph! 251 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,070 - Cake in a jar? - Thank you! 252 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:20,510 - Cake in a jar? - Oh, no, thanks. 253 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,110 - Cake in a jar? - Go on, I'll have a cake in a fucking jar. 254 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,750 Can you open my cake, Kev? 255 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,030 Cake in a jar? 256 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,510 Cake in a jar? Cake in a jar? 257 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,470 Come the revolution, this will be the first place to get torched. 258 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,070 She says, sipping Prosecco at the soft opening of a concept store. 259 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,670 Is someone jealous? 260 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,390 - Is that what it is? - Jealous? 261 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,190 Of this, of me? Is that why you've been telling people 262 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,110 this is a vanity project? 263 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,590 I don't think I am. 264 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,830 So, why did my son just ask me what a vanity project is? 265 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,230 Don't know. 266 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,590 "What's a vanity project, Mummy?" 267 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,990 "Where did you hear that, darling?" 268 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,270 "Ivy's mum just said your shop is a vanity project." 269 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,320 No, I think he misheard. 270 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,550 Did you mishear, Manus? 271 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,950 You definitely did, Manus, because what I think, I think I said 272 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,830 is that this is definitely not a vanity project. 273 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,110 Did Ivy's mum say this is definitely not a vanity project? 274 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,830 I definitely did, Manus, so... 275 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,270 So, Manus is lying? 276 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,230 No, he's just not telling the truth about what I said! 277 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,630 Because my actual words, I think, to quote, were, 278 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:17,630 "This is definitely not a vanity project, this is the real deal." 279 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:21,750 So, mate, hey, look, we all mishear things from time to time, 280 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:25,430 but the main thing is that you've got your mummy's back. 281 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,520 Good boy! 282 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,470 Actually, actually! 283 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,630 I wanted to say, you know, you made this sound 284 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,670 like it was just a... 285 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:39,310 .. kiosk! Actually, it is a full-blown boutique. 286 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,590 And... 287 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,270 .. I want to get involved. 288 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,910 - Do you? - Yes, Amanda. 289 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,870 I'm going to help you get this shop launched hard. 290 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,590 Store! 291 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,190 Ladies and gents! 292 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:57,310 Friends and neighbours, please raise your glasses to Hyga Tyga! 293 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,910 Hygge Tygge. 294 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,150 - Hygy Tygy! - Hurda Turda. 295 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,480 One month. 296 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,350 Thought you said 11? 297 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,510 Sure, but I have a massage booked for then, so I whizzed over early. 298 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,430 I thought you would have showered by now, Julia. 299 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,870 Um... 300 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,560 .. well, I guess it's just us. 301 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,270 Well, this is a cosy little... 302 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,590 .. worky corner! 303 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,670 Yeah, so, thoughts. 304 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,630 I'm thinking about brand personalisation. 305 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,270 So, if your shop had a face, what would that be? 306 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,430 Stop, I love that. If my shop had a -- store -- had a face, 307 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,470 it would be my face. 308 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,600 For example, how, how would that face make you feel? 309 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,560 - Blessed. - Hm. 310 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,830 So, I've been putting together a strategy for the next stage 311 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,550 of the launch. So, for example, this is what we did for Muji. 312 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,230 Get you! You know your onions! 313 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,550 I always wondered what you got up to at your work. 314 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,430 - Mm? - Well, because you always made it look so hard. 315 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,670 You know? Like your eyes were going to pop out with the stress sometimes. 316 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,870 I don't know. 317 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,430 I'm finding it quite manageable, actually. 318 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:15,580 Oh! 319 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,480 Amanda Holden just liked my post. 320 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,080 Go on! 321 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,790 It's like a fucking knick-knack prison. 322 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,430 I mean, Kapital Kebabs' window was awful. 323 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,990 Had all these photos of kebabs and saveloys that looked disgusting, 324 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,600 but tasted delicious. 325 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,110 This place is part of my history. 326 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,550 My waters broke in there, with Max. 327 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,950 Where Anne's standing. 328 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,350 There. Look, right there. 329 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,440 Let's go in. 330 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,550 Come on, Kev, Amanda's your mate! 331 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,110 She should bloody stock it. 332 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,790 It's just... 333 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,750 .. this is a really big deal for me. 334 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,190 I put my heart into this book. 335 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,750 Did your girls do the drawings? 336 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:05,830 No! 337 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,310 Jill's cousin. 338 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,310 She's a part-time artist. 339 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,910 I love the way she's made the tears the stars of the EU flag. 340 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,350 Yeah, that's really clever. 341 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,280 Come on, Kev, let's go in. 342 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,990 Receipt's in the bag. 343 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,280 - Thanks. - Great, thank you. 344 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:24,830 Hi, Anne. 345 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:28,990 Did Amanda mention I was going to be swinging by with my book? 346 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,550 Yeah, it's just one of those stories with a profound message. 347 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,790 Like Paddington's about liberation. 348 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,550 It's just right for Hooga Tooga, I think. 349 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,990 Herga Terga. 350 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,190 I couldn't say. 351 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,750 Amanda's whole thing is, 352 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,120 "Would I have this in my house?" And... 353 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,390 .. yeah, you're going to have to talk to Amanda. 354 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,750 She's just away. 355 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,920 - Eyelash extensions. - OK. 356 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,110 I don't know, Liz. 357 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,790 We should have got the OK from Amanda first. 358 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,190 It will spoil the surprise! 359 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:09,470 I think you're mocking me! 360 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,150 I am not, how dare you! 361 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,590 Sorry, I thought you were. 362 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,070 Well, I was. Only a tiny bit. 363 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,750 Not cool, Kevin! 364 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,040 Not cool. 365 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,720 Your books. 366 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,270 I'm not going to press charges, but I am pretty sure 367 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,670 what you did is illegal. 368 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,510 Oh, no, sorry. Sorry I can explain. 369 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,190 I think maybe I... 370 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,680 .. Liz... 371 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,510 We thought because you and I are friends... 372 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,590 OK, can I just clarify, I am never stocking your book. 373 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,840 And B, we're not friends. 374 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,230 - But we're friendly? - We're not friends, Kevin. 375 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,630 - Our kids are friends? - I'm not stocking your book. 376 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:47,800 Did you read it? 377 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,430 Anne! 378 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,150 Who's at the shop? Store! 379 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,070 Sorry, I just had to pick up Darius, cos it's, you know, home time? 380 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,110 Exactly, Anne, this is peak post-school footfall! 381 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,270 Give me the keys! 382 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,990 Right, OK, sorry, OK. 383 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,070 - So, these do the shutters, OK? - Yeah. 384 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,830 Front door. 385 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,230 Yale and deadlock. 386 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,710 OK, back door. 387 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,190 Bin gate. 388 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,870 Ignore that one. 389 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,830 Bogs, fuse cupboard, which you probably won't need. 390 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,710 OK, just give them to me! 391 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:20,440 - Anne, you need to pick up Manus and Georgie! - OK, OK! 392 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,950 - Hey! - Oh, hi! Julia, I'll just be with you in a moment, 393 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,310 - just rushed off my feet right now. - Yeah, I can see that. 394 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,590 They probably saw you on Living Etc online or in the Mumsnet piece 395 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,870 I wangled. You know, that's 10,000 hits per minute. 396 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,550 - So, that's quite a coup. Well done me! - Yeah. 397 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,550 I actually forgot how good I am at my job. 398 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,750 You know, I really enjoyed the challenge. 399 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,790 You know, just gave me the kick I needed. 400 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,590 You're welcome, I'm glad I... 401 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,750 .. got you out of your little hole. 402 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,350 No, no, you didn't get me out of a little hole, 403 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,910 I-I-I got you out of your big hole. 404 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,110 I think this is going to look great on your CV, Julia. 405 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,190 I don't have a CV, it's not the '80s. 406 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,990 Well, it'll look great on your LinkedIn. 407 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,390 Oh! 408 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,070 200 likes on my bamboo trivet! 409 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,240 Ding! 410 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,910 - Can I help you with something, Julia? - No, no, it's just I wanted 411 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,390 - to say, you're welcome. - My pleasure! 412 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,030 - My pleasure! - No problem. 413 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,950 No, it's just that usually I charge £400 a day for this kind of major 414 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,750 brand consultancy work and I did spend four days 415 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,120 in my pokey worky corner, pulling in lots of favours, so... 416 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,880 For your bedroom office. 417 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,310 Mm. 418 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,710 Yeah, it's lovely. 419 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,520 That's £89, please. 420 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,320 Cards only, we're cashless. 421 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,430 It was just the smugness. 422 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,070 Smuggy Tuggy! 423 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,230 It was upsetting anyway, but there were tea bags 424 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,590 in the bottom of that bin liner. 425 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,710 Two of my books are water damaged! 426 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,150 Yeah, well, I did all that work for free! As a favour! 427 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,630 I thought it was because you called Manus a liar and had to dig yourself 428 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,710 out of it. 429 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,190 No, I did that out of the kindness of my heart, Liz. 430 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,270 - I did very good work on that campaign. - Can I ask... 431 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,590 .. are we friends? 432 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,230 - Define friends. - Course we're friends, Kevin. 433 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,710 Thank you, Julia. 434 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,270 Because, you know, I've always been there for Amanda. 435 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,510 I ran her class rep campaign for three years. 436 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,870 I gave out leaflets till my thumbs bled. 437 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,230 I'm surprised you're surprised! 438 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,750 Amanda's a parasite! 439 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,270 A big, blonde tick, sucking the high street dry. 440 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,870 Yes, but this is my point, Liz! 441 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,990 Not even a thank you, not a discount off a candle that cost more 442 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,710 than a return flight to Spain! 443 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,110 I hate to say this, but Amanda has been a right 444 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,110 B-1-T-C-H. 445 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,190 Bitch. 446 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,590 You know there are more Hygge Tygge haters out there? 447 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,670 Are there? 448 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,150 On the Acton Forum. 449 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,240 Oh, yeah? Show me. 450 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,430 Read that one. 451 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,950 ActonSquirrel, aw, that's sweet. 452 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,390 "Shit shops like Hygge Tygge are destroying the community. 453 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,910 "Why can't all the yummy mummies roll up their yoga mats 454 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,950 "and knob off back to Nappy Valley?" 455 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,790 That's an angry squirrel, isn't it? Right there. 456 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,870 You write one. 457 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,350 - No! - Go on! - OK. 458 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,630 Don't do it under your own name! 459 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,990 Oh, yeah. 460 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,190 That's a good point, who shall I be? 461 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,640 I've got a good one. 462 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,990 Crouch End Tiger, that's brilliant! 463 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,110 I heard... 464 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,630 .. about this shop... 465 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,630 .. through the excellent publicity push. 466 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:40,990 But it turns out it is a load of old shit. 467 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,710 Clever. You do one, Kev! 468 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,070 - No! - Go on! 469 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:47,040 I can't. OK. 470 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,150 Shit is the word. 471 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,830 "Shit is the word." 472 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:58,270 If this shop were a shit, it would be a great, big, pointless 473 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,120 shit, shat out... 474 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,590 .. of a shitty bumhole. 475 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,990 You should work in PR, Kev! 476 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,150 Right, I need more wine. 477 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,110 No, don't, just one more! 478 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,320 This... 479 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,470 .. shop... 480 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:25,630 .. is a shit stain on the high street. 481 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,640 #ShitShop. 482 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,750 No, I should delete that. 483 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:34,990 No, we should take that one out. 484 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,030 We should delete that, I'll get some more wine. 485 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,390 Get me some cheese balls! 486 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,080 Get them yourself, you lazy bitch! 487 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,430 You know you've had a good night when you find crisps 488 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:48,030 in your knickers. 489 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,390 Hey, guys, have you heard? 490 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,750 Amanda's shop's been sabotaged. 491 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,350 Somebody threw a poo at it. 492 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,190 - What? - Isn't it terrible? 493 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,630 Someone threw a poo at Hygge Tygge, and then graffitied #ShitShop 494 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,070 on the window, apparently. 495 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:02,310 Definitely said #ShitShop? 496 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,520 Yeah! 497 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,510 You deleted it, Liz, didn't you? 498 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,470 You definitely deleted it, #ShitShop? 499 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,670 Yeah. 500 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,030 Well... I thought Kev did. 501 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,390 I thought you did! 502 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,840 Oh, Kevin and Liz, what have you done? 503 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,310 Oh, it's not as bad as Anne made out! 504 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,390 Just squirt a bit of bleach and knock it off! 505 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,950 I feel terrible. 506 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,070 I'm going to I call in sick, don't you feel terrible? 507 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:31,750 - No. - We have to say something. 508 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,350 No-one's saying anything, Kevin! 509 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,750 I've seen Happy Valley, I know how this plays out! 510 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,950 We fess up now, before it spirals. 511 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,790 Remind me never to rob a bank with you. 512 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,350 You're a very weak wingman, Kevin. 513 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,630 We're not fessing up anything, we didn't throw the shit! 514 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,720 Or did we? 515 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,750 - Did you? - Course I didn't! 516 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,630 What, you think I'd pick up a shit? 517 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,830 Worse still, do one in my hand and bring it... 518 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,070 Have you seen it? 519 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,430 Yes, yeah. 520 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,750 It's not so bad. 521 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,150 I think you'd... you'd have to be looking for... 522 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,550 I think if they didn't say #ShitShop, 523 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,350 I think you'd just think a bird had done it. 524 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:06,350 I think what hurts most is it's a store, not a shop. 525 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,870 The police are saying it started on the Acton Forum. 526 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,070 - Police? - Why? 527 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,790 Why, Julia? 528 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,950 What? 529 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,510 Oh, yes. 530 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,870 Just, I think people got carried away. 531 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:25,350 Had too many drinks, egged on by friends or... 532 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,990 .. people they're friendly with? 533 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,030 I'm sure they didn't mean any harm. 534 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,150 Anyway, I'm a big fan of this shop, so I'm going to pop inside 535 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,720 and I'm going to spend, spend, spend! 536 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,230 There's bound to be CCTV of the shop. 537 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,230 There's CCTV everywhere! 538 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,870 I'm not sure Gill would look after the kids if I went to prison! 539 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,430 You didn't do it, Kev, remember? 540 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,830 Right, I've just spent £236 in Hygge-bloody-Tygge, 541 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,710 assuaging my guilt, which, by the way, I'm only 542 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,190 a third responsible for. 543 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,190 You're the PR genius, who came up with #ShitShop. 544 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,190 - Thank you. - I don't know how you can both act so cool about this, like 545 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,070 nothing happened! We incited a hate crime! 546 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,070 I think what we are all forgetting in this is that it is a shit shop! 547 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:13,550 It doesn't matter, Liz! 548 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:14,990 Amanda was so upset! 549 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,510 What do you want us to do? 550 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,110 I want to do the decent thing! 551 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,150 Admit our part in all of this! 552 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,030 "Silence becomes cowardice, when occasion demands the speaking 553 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,990 "out of a whole truth and acting accordingly." 554 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,030 - Who said that? - Ghandi! 555 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,990 Yeah, and look what happened to him. 556 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,270 I need some air. 557 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,680 You're in a park, Kevin! 558 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,430 He's breaking. 559 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,070 We're going to have to cut him loose. 560 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,310 What? 561 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,990 Kill him? 562 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:46,440 I was thinking more delete him from our WhatsApp group. 563 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,910 - Kevin, what are you doing? - I can't get it out of my head! 564 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,710 The guilt is eating me up! 565 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,230 Why didn't you phone or text? 566 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,230 Are you mental? And leave a paper trail? 567 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,750 Go home and go to sleep. 568 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,230 I can't sleep! 569 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,790 I've had half a bottle of Night Nurse and two chamomile teas and nothing! 570 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,750 - Nothing! - Right, well, just go and see Liz, then! 571 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,070 Do you think Liz did it? 572 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,480 Oh, fuck off, Kevin! 573 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,640 All right, Kev? 574 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,320 Still not looking at us. 575 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,790 Something's up with Kevin. 576 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,350 I'm really good at picking up on these kind of things. 577 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,310 All right, I can't deal with this. Come on. 578 00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:42,710 Let's sort it out. 579 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,030 Kev. Kevin. 580 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,430 Kev? Kev? Look at me. 581 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,070 Kev! Kevin! Look at me, look at me, Kevin! 582 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,560 You're clearly upset about this. 583 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:54,070 Just a bit, yeah. 584 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,590 What do you want us to do? What would make you feel better? 585 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,070 What would make me feel better? 586 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,190 Um... we tell the truth! 587 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,070 All right, OK! 588 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,590 If that's what you'd like, that's what will make you feel better, 589 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,190 that's fine. OK? 590 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,590 Because you are our friend and we care about you, 591 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,080 Liz will take the rap. 592 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,590 Why am I doing this again? 593 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,830 Because you don't care, Liz, and you've got nothing to lose. 594 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,310 And Kevin's having your kids for the next four Saturdays. 595 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:21,800 Oh, what? 596 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,670 Look lovely and svelte in that picture, Amanda. 597 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:26,950 - Thank you. - Yeah. 598 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,270 - It's a lovely shot. - It's gorgeous. 599 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,230 - What's all this? - ActonToday.co.uk about the incident. 600 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,830 Main body of the website, next to profile on Adrian Chiles 601 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,920 - visiting a city farm. - Right, that's... - Amazing! 602 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,630 So funny, Julia! 603 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,670 I've had more press from a crap on my window 604 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,470 than from your entire PR push! 605 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,670 Anne's had to restock the pencil plates twice! 606 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,390 - Twice? - Yeah. - Twice! - Yeah. 607 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,750 Well, right, then it's all worked out in the end! 608 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,270 - But, um, we just wanted to say... - No, no! 609 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,880 Nothing, great. I think that sounds wonderful. 610 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,520 Job done, then. 611 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,790 Can I help you with something, Julia? 612 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,150 No, no, just interesting that you think this, um, 613 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,440 this flurry of press attention just, um, miraculised out of nowhere. 614 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:18,390 - What do you mean? - What do you think I mean? Think about it. 615 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:19,430 Let's go! 616 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,000 #You'reWelcome. 617 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,360 Right, bubble tea? 46900

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