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1
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:09,558
Hey, what's up, bitch?
2
00:00:09,559 --> 00:00:10,605
Get the [BLEEP] out of the car, bitch!
3
00:00:10,606 --> 00:00:12,336
Get the [BLEEP] out of the car!
4
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,267
You know what time it is,
bitch. Get out the car.
5
00:00:20,947 --> 00:00:22,515
[BLEEP]!
6
00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:24,455
Oh, shit!
7
00:00:24,456 --> 00:00:25,785
Whoo! That's what I'm talking about!
8
00:00:25,786 --> 00:00:27,755
We got her, baby!
9
00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:32,795
- The [BLEEP] is that, man?
- What the [BLEEP] are you talking about?
10
00:00:32,796 --> 00:00:35,396
- Are you dragging something?
- No, I didn't [BLEEP] hit anything.
11
00:00:41,506 --> 00:00:43,566
- Man, I don't know. I hear something.
- Wait, I hear that shit, too.
12
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,897
- What the [BLEEP] is that?
- All right, man. Well, just...
13
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,296
What the hell?
14
00:00:55,216 --> 00:00:57,046
The hell was that?
15
00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:46,612
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
16
00:01:46,636 --> 00:01:50,205
Man. He [BLEEP] y'all up.
17
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:52,736
Wow! I mean, God damn.
18
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,245
Y-y'all look like you did
10 rounds with Adonis Creed.
19
00:01:55,246 --> 00:01:56,945
And y'all didn't see nothing, huh?
20
00:01:56,946 --> 00:01:58,845
Man, I told y'all, it was dark.
21
00:01:58,846 --> 00:02:01,845
He had a mask.
He had body armor and shit.
22
00:02:01,846 --> 00:02:04,155
Man, the nigga looked like
Lego Batman, all right?
23
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:06,785
- Batman?
- Lego Batman.
24
00:02:06,786 --> 00:02:09,138
Does that make you
the joker and the penguin? Huh?
25
00:02:12,096 --> 00:02:15,695
Compton Crusader. Damn.
26
00:02:15,696 --> 00:02:16,752
You know, they already had a Compton
27
00:02:16,776 --> 00:02:17,835
Crusader up on Hollywood boulevard,
28
00:02:17,836 --> 00:02:20,835
posing with tourists like all those
other bootleg-ass superheroes.
29
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,466
Yeah, well, people need
heroes, too. Come on.
30
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,375
They do.
31
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,305
You know, whoever this guy is
32
00:02:27,306 --> 00:02:29,575
has basic knowledge
of tactics, surveillance.
33
00:02:29,576 --> 00:02:30,915
He hasn't made any mistakes
on this one.
34
00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:33,245
None. Hmm?
35
00:02:33,246 --> 00:02:35,815
Well, well, well.
36
00:02:35,816 --> 00:02:38,515
Detective!
37
00:02:38,516 --> 00:02:40,516
Look like you got a little
competition around here.
38
00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:43,525
Finally got somebody
to keep the people safe.
39
00:02:43,526 --> 00:02:45,095
You wouldn't know anything
about this, would you, Lloyd?
40
00:02:45,096 --> 00:02:47,395
I know about everything.
41
00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:51,095
I keep my ear to the streets,
but I need my hearing aid.
42
00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:53,396
Lloyd, please. I don't walk around
with a fifth of Darby in my purse.
43
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,535
Can you believe this guy?
44
00:02:54,536 --> 00:02:56,166
Darby?
45
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,505
Darby can kiss my ass.
46
00:02:57,506 --> 00:02:58,805
Okay.
47
00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,605
No Darby?
48
00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:03,275
W-word is Jesus performed a miracle
49
00:03:03,276 --> 00:03:05,145
and Lloyd can't get drunk.
50
00:03:05,146 --> 00:03:07,076
Probably saved his life.
51
00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:09,515
He ruined it. That's what he did.
52
00:03:09,516 --> 00:03:12,485
Darby was the only friend I had
in times of trouble.
53
00:03:12,486 --> 00:03:14,285
Now my only friend I got now
is my boy Benjamin.
54
00:03:14,286 --> 00:03:16,225
Benjamin?
55
00:03:16,226 --> 00:03:18,255
Yeah, the nigga that fly that kite.
56
00:03:18,256 --> 00:03:20,056
For crying out loud. I can't...
57
00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:22,504
- I got it.
- Oh, no, partner.
58
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:23,826
Mnh. Sss.
59
00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:25,865
Think this'll help your
hearing a little better?
60
00:03:25,866 --> 00:03:28,465
$5? No, no, no.
61
00:03:28,466 --> 00:03:31,135
I said "Benjamin", not "Lincoln."
62
00:03:31,136 --> 00:03:34,305
that mulatto-ass son of a bitch
ain't gonna get you nothin'.
63
00:03:34,306 --> 00:03:35,606
- Well, if you don't want it...
- Ah!
64
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,615
Ehhhh...
65
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,576
- I-I'll take it.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
66
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,015
All right. Y'all ready?
67
00:03:42,016 --> 00:03:44,885
- Hold on.
- Listen to me.
68
00:03:44,886 --> 00:03:46,843
All right. This is gonna
blow the case wide-open.
69
00:03:47,556 --> 00:03:51,195
The Compton Crusader is...
70
00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:57,465
...An African-American male.
71
00:03:57,466 --> 00:03:59,835
Thank you, kindly.
Have a mighty nice day.
72
00:03:59,836 --> 00:04:02,666
H-hey! Hey!
73
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,645
Many believe that the Compton Crusader
74
00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,645
is more hero than villain.
75
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,015
Neighborhood advocates are concerned
76
00:04:08,016 --> 00:04:09,476
that innocent residents may be harmed.
77
00:04:09,486 --> 00:04:11,985
See, my guess is,
78
00:04:11,986 --> 00:04:14,115
them Compton Crusaders
ain't packin' no real heat.
79
00:04:14,116 --> 00:04:16,985
Why you say that? I bet he has
a bunch of guns and ammo.
80
00:04:16,986 --> 00:04:18,825
No, I'm not talking
about that kinda heat.
81
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,125
I'm talking about in the bed.
82
00:04:21,126 --> 00:04:23,095
I took a psych class.
83
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,595
And it said that dudes
that like to beat people up
84
00:04:25,596 --> 00:04:27,765
and wear costumes
are just overcompensating
85
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:30,096
for small genitalia
and erectile issues.
86
00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,665
Look here.
87
00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:34,235
My... a-and by "my", I mean...
88
00:04:34,236 --> 00:04:37,475
I'm pretty certain my man
the Compton Crusader's package
89
00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:39,005
is damn big and hella functional.
90
00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,975
Right, Boonie?
91
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,876
Nigga, how the hell should I know?
92
00:04:42,886 --> 00:04:46,046
I know I'd give the Crusader a chance.
93
00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:49,455
I see a fine man in uniform,
and my panties get so humid,
94
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,455
it's like taking off a wet suit.
95
00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:54,086
"Wh-khh! Wh-khh!"
96
00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:55,995
But what if his stuff
is really small, though?
97
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,865
Even the small stuff
can get the job done.
98
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,826
All they got to do is a little flick,
99
00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:02,665
and from what I hear
about the Compton Crusader,
100
00:05:02,666 --> 00:05:04,465
he can flick up in my stuff
any damn time.
101
00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,275
You done?
102
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,575
Suddenly, I'm not
as hungry as I thought.
103
00:05:11,576 --> 00:05:13,345
Hey.
104
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,496
I'll give it a flick.
105
00:05:19,356 --> 00:05:22,385
So, Ms. Tudi got y'all out there
slanging that low budget, huh?
106
00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:25,485
Man, I'm so glad I still
ain't out there doing that shit.
107
00:05:25,486 --> 00:05:27,525
It sure feel good to kick it with
the homie one more 'gin, man.
108
00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:29,495
Shit feel like old times.
109
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,995
Look at you, man... you all settled,
110
00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:34,265
responsible and things,
you know what I'm talkin' about?
111
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:38,565
Handling business, got your life
on track and shit.
112
00:05:38,566 --> 00:05:40,305
Well... I guess
it ain't like old times.
113
00:05:41,806 --> 00:05:43,875
But it's cool, anyway, though, pimp.
114
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,975
Hi. Sorry it took so long.
115
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:49,245
- Hey, Jesus!
- What's happenin', pimp?
116
00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:51,076
- Hi, baby.
- Hi, baby.
117
00:05:51,086 --> 00:05:53,846
Mwah!
118
00:05:53,856 --> 00:05:57,055
So, Jesus, now, I know
you know who it is, don't you?
119
00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,025
Who?
120
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,925
The Compton Crusader. Come on.
121
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:05,225
Girl, I'm Jesus Christ.
Of course I know.
122
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:07,665
Baby, look, that ain't even really,
like, no divine knowledge.
123
00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:08,895
I mean, that's right in our face.
124
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,665
Everybody know who that is.
125
00:06:10,666 --> 00:06:11,965
You know who the Compton Crusader is?
126
00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:13,535
Yeah.
127
00:06:13,536 --> 00:06:15,605
Crazy-ass Ambro.
128
00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:17,336
- Ambro?
- Mm-hmm.
129
00:06:17,346 --> 00:06:19,406
Ambro?
130
00:06:19,416 --> 00:06:21,106
Gun-obsessed, over-testosteroned,
131
00:06:21,116 --> 00:06:23,145
always looking for a fight?
132
00:06:23,146 --> 00:06:24,785
Ambro that does security
at the apartment complex?
133
00:06:24,786 --> 00:06:26,215
That Ambro?
134
00:06:26,216 --> 00:06:27,685
Oh, my God.
135
00:06:27,686 --> 00:06:29,785
He does dress like Batman.
136
00:06:29,786 --> 00:06:32,025
A broke-ass Batman.
137
00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:33,855
Baby, I didn't even know
you was working that case.
138
00:06:33,856 --> 00:06:34,826
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got assigned.
139
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,995
Wow! Ambro?
140
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:38,425
Look, Jesus, can you handle this?
141
00:06:38,426 --> 00:06:39,695
Just... make it go away.
142
00:06:39,696 --> 00:06:41,565
Oh, for sho'!
143
00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:43,396
I'll go down there, hollah at him.
144
00:06:43,406 --> 00:06:44,835
- It ain't nothin', girl. I got this.
- Thank you!
145
00:06:44,836 --> 00:06:46,435
You got some weed?
146
00:06:51,646 --> 00:06:53,606
Ambro!
147
00:06:53,616 --> 00:06:55,445
What's happenin', pimp?!
148
00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:57,615
Hey! No drugs to sell today?
149
00:06:57,616 --> 00:06:59,585
You scarin' all the customers off
150
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,216
with your military tactics
and regimes and things and...
151
00:07:03,226 --> 00:07:05,025
Hey, why you got to protect
the neighborhood so well, Ambro?
152
00:07:05,026 --> 00:07:06,855
Uh-huh.
153
00:07:06,856 --> 00:07:09,225
Hey, look, bruh,
154
00:07:09,226 --> 00:07:11,365
I know we don't really
know each other that well...
155
00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:13,526
well, I know you, 'cause I'm Jesus,
156
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:14,735
but I know you don't
really know me like that...
157
00:07:14,736 --> 00:07:16,996
Look, bruh.
158
00:07:17,006 --> 00:07:19,566
I don't need to know you
like that, a'ight?
159
00:07:19,576 --> 00:07:22,135
I don't know what spell
you got over everybody else,
160
00:07:22,136 --> 00:07:24,136
but bullshit bounces off my brain
161
00:07:24,146 --> 00:07:26,345
like greased ass on rubber sheets.
162
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,545
Look, bruh,
163
00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:30,876
I know the military sent you
through hell and back.
164
00:07:30,886 --> 00:07:33,085
They [BLEEP] you up,
but have you ever wondered,
165
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,685
how did you make it back
and so many others didn't?
166
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:37,316
God got your back.
167
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:40,925
He lookin' out for you, bruh,
even if you don't know it.
168
00:07:40,926 --> 00:07:43,756
And that's why I'm here...
to save you from yourself
169
00:07:43,766 --> 00:07:45,125
and all this bullshit you're creating
170
00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,865
as this Compton Crusader character.
171
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,235
Me... the Compton Crusader?
172
00:07:48,236 --> 00:07:50,696
No, no, no.
173
00:07:50,706 --> 00:07:52,435
That's flattering,
and while I do think
174
00:07:52,436 --> 00:07:53,905
that that guy is great at
what he does and everything,
175
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,675
but, nah, it ain't me.
176
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,905
I know, bruh. I know.
177
00:07:58,906 --> 00:08:00,606
Look, man, I know you think
178
00:08:00,616 --> 00:08:02,015
you doin' the right thing and all,
179
00:08:02,016 --> 00:08:03,776
but stay in your lane, man.
180
00:08:03,786 --> 00:08:05,338
This ain't your purpose.
181
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,955
And I sayeth there ain't no lord,
182
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:12,986
so vengeance is mines.
183
00:08:12,996 --> 00:08:14,998
I don't care what you sayeth.
184
00:08:23,806 --> 00:08:26,305
Where it at? Where it at?!
Throw this stuff up in here!
185
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,366
Look over there, man!
186
00:08:30,406 --> 00:08:31,556
Where's the drugs?
187
00:08:32,716 --> 00:08:34,106
Hurry up!
188
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,585
You won't believe the shit
that just happened here.
189
00:09:29,866 --> 00:09:31,335
Oh, lord, Jesus!
190
00:09:31,336 --> 00:09:32,935
Unh!
191
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,646
"Jesus," my ass.
192
00:09:46,656 --> 00:09:48,415
What up, pimp?
193
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,355
Where you get your sunglasses at?
194
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:53,555
I know exactly who you are.
195
00:09:53,556 --> 00:09:56,025
Come on, that ain't real.
196
00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:58,125
This is real, Ms. Emma.
I took the picture.
197
00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,326
- I saw this happen.
- Look, I told you.
198
00:10:00,336 --> 00:10:02,796
What probably happened is
that boy got ahold of some weed
199
00:10:02,806 --> 00:10:04,596
that was laced with some PCP
or some shit.
200
00:10:04,606 --> 00:10:06,505
You know that shit
make you feel superstrong
201
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,335
- and you can't feel no pain.
- I don't know, man.
202
00:10:08,336 --> 00:10:10,175
We know dudes who are into hard drugs,
203
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,905
and he doesn't seem like
that kind of guy.
204
00:10:11,906 --> 00:10:13,545
You don't believe in Jesus, Ms. Emma?
205
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:15,875
I only believe
in some money in my pocket
206
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,315
and for something hard in bed...
207
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,085
To chew on.
208
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,285
- Mmm!
- Damn, woman!
209
00:10:21,286 --> 00:10:22,455
Would you please stop
talking about your sexual needs
210
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,456
around people food?
211
00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:27,755
Now, anyway, I will
agree with you on this...
212
00:10:27,756 --> 00:10:30,025
this dude is not the son of God.
213
00:10:30,026 --> 00:10:32,365
But what if he's a son
from another planet?
214
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,226
You mean like an alien? Like E.T.?
215
00:10:34,236 --> 00:10:35,765
No!
216
00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:37,165
His fingers are too short,
217
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:38,665
and they don't light up at the tip.
218
00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:41,975
I'm saying this fake-ass Jesus
219
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:44,305
might be Superman in disguise.
220
00:10:44,306 --> 00:10:45,805
Superman?
221
00:10:48,276 --> 00:10:50,666
Okay, Ambro. I'm gon' go with PCP.
222
00:11:00,296 --> 00:11:01,955
Oh!
223
00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:03,356
Black Batman! Look out!
224
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:18,036
Holy nick of time, Batman!
225
00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:19,545
I've come to save your black ass!
226
00:11:43,906 --> 00:11:47,586
Submit to the
will of your lord and master.
227
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,205
Nooooooooo!
228
00:12:02,316 --> 00:12:04,685
Oh, Jesus!
229
00:12:04,686 --> 00:12:07,314
Ambro! Don't sneak up
on an old black man like that.
230
00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:09,003
What's wrong with you?
231
00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:10,973
Hey, I'm gonna need
to disappear for a while.
232
00:12:10,974 --> 00:12:13,174
What's wrong, Ambro?
233
00:12:13,184 --> 00:12:14,713
There are some things
happening... crazy things.
234
00:12:14,714 --> 00:12:16,313
Like what, Ambro?
235
00:12:16,314 --> 00:12:18,413
Jesus.
236
00:12:18,414 --> 00:12:21,214
You know he's not
who he says he is, right?
237
00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:24,223
- Jesus isn't Jesus?
- No, of course not!
238
00:12:24,224 --> 00:12:26,093
You don't seriously believe
he's Jesus, do ya?
239
00:12:26,094 --> 00:12:27,993
Yeah. Who else can he be?
240
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:29,924
I'm serious, Lloyd.
241
00:12:29,934 --> 00:12:31,993
I've seen him do things...
crazy things.
242
00:12:31,994 --> 00:12:33,594
Yeah, because he Jesus.
243
00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:34,963
I'm serious, man!
244
00:12:34,964 --> 00:12:36,114
I'm confused.
245
00:12:37,534 --> 00:12:39,803
Look at this.
246
00:12:39,804 --> 00:12:42,343
- Yeah, that's Jesus.
- Yeah.
247
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,504
Don't you see what this is?
It's proof of aliens.
248
00:12:46,744 --> 00:12:48,643
You think Jesus is an alien?
249
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:52,851
Yes! From Krypton!
250
00:12:53,054 --> 00:12:54,783
I've heard a lot of shit in my day...
251
00:12:54,784 --> 00:12:55,953
There's no other explanation.
252
00:12:55,954 --> 00:12:57,253
Yes, it is!
253
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,823
He's Jesus.
254
00:12:58,824 --> 00:13:00,823
Ooh! Goodness.
255
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:02,563
I saw him lift a car, Lloyd.
256
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,893
A car! By himself!
257
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:06,663
What kind of stuff is that?
258
00:13:06,664 --> 00:13:07,694
I'm not crazy!
259
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,333
- So?
- "So"?
260
00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:13,173
Someone with that kind of power
is too dangerous to live.
261
00:13:13,174 --> 00:13:15,343
Jesus isn't dangerous.
262
00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:18,343
He's just a meddling
goody-two-shoe, divine being
263
00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:21,043
who ruin lives 'cause he
wanna heal everybody.
264
00:13:21,044 --> 00:13:22,983
Everybody don't wanna be healed!
265
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,153
Okay, but what if he decides
to turn against us?
266
00:13:25,154 --> 00:13:27,314
What if he decides
to use that power for evil?
267
00:13:27,324 --> 00:13:29,853
If there's even just a 1% chance
of that happening,
268
00:13:29,854 --> 00:13:32,493
then we got to kill him!
269
00:13:32,494 --> 00:13:34,823
- Kill Jesus?
- Yeah!
270
00:13:34,824 --> 00:13:37,524
You probably not the only person
who's had that brilliant idea.
271
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:39,584
Your job is to keep
this building secure.
272
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:44,303
I'm sorry, Lloyd.
273
00:13:44,304 --> 00:13:45,884
Time to do my own thing.
274
00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:50,773
Everybody know it's you, Ambro.
275
00:13:50,774 --> 00:13:52,813
You got responsibilities here!
276
00:13:52,814 --> 00:13:55,913
Wow.
277
00:13:55,914 --> 00:13:57,983
That's some sober shit
for me to say that time.
278
00:13:57,984 --> 00:13:59,983
"You got some responsibilities here."
279
00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:01,583
"You got responsibility here."
280
00:14:11,794 --> 00:14:14,194
I can't wait anymore, Jesus.
281
00:14:14,204 --> 00:14:17,103
Yeah. This is clearly
the sign of a disturbed mind.
282
00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:19,054
Can't believe I got to
write a report on this.
283
00:14:21,074 --> 00:14:23,943
Dianne, look, I just need
a little more time.
284
00:14:23,944 --> 00:14:25,313
I promise I'ma get it right. I got it.
285
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:27,874
"More time"? No.
286
00:14:27,884 --> 00:14:29,983
The man is going to
kill somebody soon,
287
00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:31,913
and that's going to be
on me and you, huh?
288
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,653
If you can't stop him,
I'm gonna have to.
289
00:14:33,654 --> 00:14:34,783
Yo lo entiende que hacer.
290
00:14:34,784 --> 00:14:36,923
He's a good dude.
291
00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:38,253
He just didn't get
the psychological help
292
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:39,954
he needed after the war.
293
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,023
I mean, his is the story
294
00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:43,963
of so many underserved veterans
in this country.
295
00:14:43,964 --> 00:14:46,333
You know that, Dianne!
296
00:14:46,334 --> 00:14:48,463
I try my best to help out,
but it's like...
297
00:14:48,464 --> 00:14:50,233
it's like he's scared of me.
298
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:52,473
Dude don't even believe I'm Jesus.
299
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,624
And who's he think
you are, huh? Superman?
300
00:14:57,414 --> 00:14:58,644
Superman.
301
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,413
Iperfecto!
302
00:15:02,414 --> 00:15:04,313
¿qué?
303
00:15:04,314 --> 00:15:06,013
Can we get a paramedic over here
for this guy?!
304
00:15:06,014 --> 00:15:07,953
Jesus.
305
00:15:07,954 --> 00:15:10,453
Next time, bring your sister, man.
306
00:15:10,454 --> 00:15:12,093
You know I always give her
something extra.
307
00:15:12,094 --> 00:15:13,593
Yeah.
308
00:15:17,034 --> 00:15:19,393
♪ Boonie ♪
309
00:15:19,394 --> 00:15:20,833
Ambro?
310
00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:22,063
Ambro, is that you?
311
00:15:22,064 --> 00:15:24,403
No. It's not.
312
00:15:24,404 --> 00:15:26,073
I don't know who you're talking about.
313
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:28,343
Man, it's obviously you.
314
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,873
Hey, man, don't be coming
over here with that crazy.
315
00:15:30,874 --> 00:15:33,143
I'm just selling my weed.
I ain't messing with nobody.
316
00:15:33,144 --> 00:15:35,783
Man, don't come over here
[BLEEP] with me.
317
00:15:35,784 --> 00:15:37,144
It's not the weed, Boonie.
318
00:15:37,154 --> 00:15:38,334
It's him.
319
00:15:40,584 --> 00:15:42,153
You think I'm playin'.
320
00:15:42,154 --> 00:15:43,453
Look, you better
get your ass away from me
321
00:15:43,454 --> 00:15:45,723
'fore I shoot your crazy ass!
322
00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:48,563
You know the truth.
He's got to be stopped, Boonie.
323
00:15:48,564 --> 00:15:50,314
Nigga, what is you talkin' about?
324
00:15:51,864 --> 00:15:52,933
Nigga, what the...
325
00:15:54,764 --> 00:15:58,064
Now, if I'm right,
326
00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:02,003
your savior should be here
right about...
327
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,043
Ambro!
328
00:16:04,044 --> 00:16:06,643
Jesus! Get this crazy nigga up off me!
329
00:16:06,644 --> 00:16:08,483
Boonie, be quiet, man.
330
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:10,844
Ambro, I'm not an alien
from outer space, man.
331
00:16:10,854 --> 00:16:12,313
It's your boy!
332
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:15,153
I know what...
333
00:16:15,154 --> 00:16:18,023
I know what I saw!
334
00:16:18,024 --> 00:16:20,923
They can call me crazy all they want,
335
00:16:20,924 --> 00:16:22,063
but I know what I saw!
336
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,893
I'm not crazy!
337
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:26,133
Crazy people always say that, Ambro.
338
00:16:26,134 --> 00:16:28,263
Boonie, stop! Please!
339
00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:31,403
Ambro, Ambro, bud.
You're not crazy, dawg.
340
00:16:31,404 --> 00:16:34,234
I'm Jesus Christ, the son of God.
341
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:36,604
You're no God.
342
00:16:36,614 --> 00:16:39,173
You're just a negro
with silky hair from Krypton!
343
00:16:39,174 --> 00:16:40,324
And this...
344
00:16:43,514 --> 00:16:45,113
...A little thing
I invented in my laboratory,
345
00:16:45,114 --> 00:16:46,883
called the krypto-star.
346
00:16:46,884 --> 00:16:48,553
Hey, this nigga got a laboratory?
347
00:16:48,554 --> 00:16:51,223
Real stars dipped in kryptonite.
348
00:16:51,224 --> 00:16:53,354
Where do niggas get kryptonite from?
349
00:16:53,364 --> 00:16:55,763
From a website called
this is real kryptonite.
350
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,624
Of course.
351
00:16:57,634 --> 00:17:00,194
This thing is guaranteed
to seal your fate.
352
00:17:00,204 --> 00:17:01,933
Prepare to die, Superman!
353
00:17:16,484 --> 00:17:19,283
Hey! [BLEEP] him up, Jesus!
354
00:17:19,284 --> 00:17:22,223
Come on, man!
Give him that holy beatdown!
355
00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,184
Kick him with
that hard-ass foot, Jesus!
356
00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:26,123
Toss his salad, Jesus!
357
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:27,748
Get your little ass off me!
358
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:39,003
I knew it.
359
00:17:39,004 --> 00:17:40,773
I knew it!
360
00:17:40,774 --> 00:17:44,773
Ambro, you are right.
361
00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:47,074
I am...
362
00:17:47,084 --> 00:17:49,643
Black Superman.
363
00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:53,583
Jesus Christ is
my mild-mannered alter-ego.
364
00:17:53,584 --> 00:17:57,123
I mean no harm to the people of earth.
365
00:18:01,064 --> 00:18:02,363
I knew it.
366
00:18:02,364 --> 00:18:04,493
I knew I wasn't crazy.
367
00:18:04,494 --> 00:18:07,433
So, you see, we on the same side.
368
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,103
We all got to have
our secret identities.
369
00:18:09,104 --> 00:18:12,203
I knew it. Wow!
370
00:18:12,204 --> 00:18:14,834
O-okay. Okay.
I'm just glad I'm not crazy.
371
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,673
No, bruh, you not crazy,
but you do need some help.
372
00:18:17,674 --> 00:18:19,643
You been through a whole lot, Ambro,
373
00:18:19,644 --> 00:18:21,443
but right now, I'm gonna need
the Compton Crusader
374
00:18:21,444 --> 00:18:23,183
to disappear for a little while...
375
00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:24,413
you know, 'til this thing blows over.
376
00:18:24,414 --> 00:18:27,283
- You feel me?
- Got it.
377
00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:29,423
Yo, but when the
Compton Crusader comes back,
378
00:18:29,424 --> 00:18:31,523
we need to team up.
379
00:18:31,524 --> 00:18:33,293
We could be like
the 'hood justice league, man.
380
00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:35,263
We'll run this shit.
381
00:18:35,264 --> 00:18:36,824
- But remember those secret identities.
- Shh!
382
00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,463
This spot is piping-hot
right now, man,
383
00:18:39,464 --> 00:18:41,863
so we got to lay low while you
go get some super-therapy.
384
00:18:41,864 --> 00:18:43,733
Got it, got it...
lay low, super-therapy.
385
00:18:43,734 --> 00:18:45,333
All right.
386
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:47,534
Then we send our message.
387
00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:49,103
I like the way you think!
388
00:18:53,284 --> 00:18:54,743
Sorry, Boonie.
389
00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:59,613
Crusader... out.
390
00:18:59,614 --> 00:19:03,153
Hey, so, uh, should I call you
"Jesus" or "Superman"?
391
00:19:03,154 --> 00:19:05,023
Come on, man.
392
00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:06,954
Let's get back on this corner
and peddle this weed
393
00:19:06,964 --> 00:19:08,354
'fore your mama kick your ass.
394
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:19,171
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