Original subtitles

A man named Dar has been found guilty of complicity with the rebels to overthrow

the holy power of Lord Arglon.

The accused has also exhibited knowledge of witchcraft and his ability to

control the beasts of the field.

The sentence is death.

So this is the Beastmaster.

The one who defeated our high priest, Maox, and now challenges my authority.

Did you actually believe that you and your flock of peasants could overthrow

kingdom?

Did you?

Now, where are these rebels?

I condemn you to eternal damnation.

May the vultures feast upon his flesh.

The folks who shall have their feast after all.

Perhaps you're right.

Come on, my friends.

Let us depart before somebody really gets hurt.

you

Let's go.

I don't like it.

Bring the witch.

The leader wishes to speak with the witch.

Move it.

Witch, speak.

Where is Arklan's army?

Lord Arklon rests in the foothills of Annalos.

Some two days' journey from here.

Take care you speak the truth, witch.

One act of betrayal and I'll cleave your black heart from your bosom.

Surely such a valiant warrior such as you can think of a better use for my

bosom. Away with her!

Well, I guess he got the point.

You have won this battle, Arklon, but the flames of freedom will not be

extinguished so easily.

They'll be coming, more and more from all over the land.

And we both know, Arklon, that the power of the key is not eternal.

Whore.

Who are you to address me by name?

Who am I?

Honey, I'm the best thing that's happened to you since you donned that

-looking mask.

And why should I, Lord Arklon, Maximum Ruler of Aeron,

be any concern of yours? Chill out, Lord Dude.

You know, you're a hard man to take a meeting with.

That's why I arranged a little scene with the rebels here.

What is this strange tongue in which you speak?

It is all part of what I want to show you, my lord.

For it is I, the beautiful, sensuous, mysterious Lorana.

who can make you the most powerful man on Earth.

My dear, I am the most powerful man on Earth.

Not for long, unless you allow me to make your power eternal.

You? You are but a witch. Or maybe, but a very uncommon one, my... Silence!

Do you not wish to hear my secret?

The one that will make you equal to the gods.

The ultimate power awaits you, my lord.

Then I shall let you live, only until I witness such sorcery.

But you hear me well.

If you try to deceive me... I know.

You shall cleave my black heart from my bosom.

Take her.

You think he likes me?

withdrawn from its mother's womb and transplanted inside a beast of burden.

That child presented the ability to communicate with all creatures

from the fields and the skies.

They call him the Beastmaster.

But this was not the only child taken from him.

Firstborn was stolen by young priests, and the grief from

losing two sons eventually eroded his great mind.

You say I have an older brother?

He is evil, Dar.

If you do not find, since firstborn by the time of the autumn Iconax,

life in this world shall cease to exist.

If you do find him,

And destroy him.

Peace and justice shall prevail.

I must kill my brother.

The fate of the world rests on your shoulders.

Now be gone.

I do not want you to see me die.

Wait.

How will I know him? Where will I find him?

the western region.

What sorcery is this?

A dimensional portal.

The doorway to your ultimate triumph, my lord. A world that exists on a parallel

plane with our own.

And what do they call this place?

The natives call it L .A.

L .A.? I've been studying their ways for some time now.

Oh, what marvels they possess.

Indeed.

And one in particular should interest you.

It is housed at one of their military fortresses.

Their men of science call it a neutron detonator.

It's compact enough to carry, yet powerful enough to destroy all life in

the size of a continent.

With the threat of such a weapon, I could rule unopposed.

Exactly. Exactly.

Their political structure is based on such weapons. They refer to it as the

balance of terror.

What a brilliantly barbarous concept.

Why do you show me such things?

These are nothing but illusions and pictures.

Have her drawn a quarter.

Fool! Fool!

You laugh in the face of death.

I laugh at any fool who would throw away the key to ultimate power.

We are made for each other. The key of Magog and I. Together and only together

can we come and go through the portal at will and make these pictures reality.

The neutron detonator will be yours.

with me at your side?

Really?

You, the mother of beauty, would be at my side?

You, the queen of radiance, would grace my lonely existence?

You would cast your sparkling eyes upon this tattered face?

And shine your aura upon my throne.

Not be the ruler, lest we forget the purpose.

Come.

Let us discover more about this place you call...

Unit Baker 5 -0, high -speed pursuit.

What's the distance?

Roger, Baker 5 -0, 86 responding.

Can you give me a make on that vehicle?

It went forward.

Senator Trent's daughter.

The crazy one.

Oh, this is nice.

This is very, very nice.

Yeah, well, you write the report this time. I'm sick and tired. I'm not doing

that.

So, uh, where's the camera?

Yo, Darth Vader, what is this, some kind of movie set?

Okay, drop your weapon. Hey, hey, hey, you're under arrest. You have the right

to remain silent.

You shall remain silent.

Alive! I want them alive!

Jesus, since when did the governor pardon mental patients?

Stop it!

Unit 86 to headquarters.

Officers under fire.

Immediate assistance requested.

10 -20 intersection at... Where the hell are we?

How the hell do I know? This is not my neighborhood!

Marcellus, are we dreaming?

If we were dreaming, we wouldn't have to explain to the captain what happened to

our patrol cars.

Oh.

Get her!

These guys don't give warning shots.

Oh, come on.

Ah!

Bring me the outsider.

Yes, my lord.

Alive. Yes, my lord. Now.

Yes, my lord.

Get me out, Schmeichel!

What an incredible instrument of destruction this beast

would make. I could roll over entire armies. It's called a car.

A dar.

A car.

A car.

Let's cross over to the other world now. I know of many other cars and other

wonders of their world. But forget about the girl. Put yourself in the hand of

your future queen.

So, my little dove, you wish to be my queen.

I certainly don't wish to be your maid.

First, we interrogate the outsider.

auto club when you need them huh

gotta be a main road around here somewhere

You're that middle of nowhere you always heard about.

I'm here.

PJ, close the blinds.

PJ, go away.

Your breath smells worse than a dead iguana.

PJ, that's disgusting.

That's right. That's good.

Isn't there maybe a ball of string you'd like to go play with?

Mommy will get you a nice can of nine limes.

Who is this, PJ?

There's no cause to be alarmed.

Well, I don't know about you, but I'd rather eat breakfast than be breakfast.

Beats with my friend.

I see through his eyes, he sees through mine.

I know his thoughts. He knows mine.

It sounds like you guys have a great, meaningful relationship, but just make

go away.

Rue, over.

You feel better now?

Not really.

Hey, are you one of those crazed bikers, you know, with the crossbows?

Do you have any idea where we are?

The western region.

Oh, well, that's enlightening.

Would you mind being a little bit more specific?

Look, is there a telephone around here maybe that I could use? Or a 7 -Eleven

even? Something like that? 7 -Eleven?

Whoa!

Your bag's full of rats.

No, these are my ferrets.

This is Kodo and Podo.

They still look like rats to me.

Oh, how was the trip?

Hey, I get it now.

You're with the circus.

We're on a quest.

Sure.

Right.

Well, you know, hey, I'm on a quest, too.

For gas.

See, my Porsche ran out of gas about ten miles back, and, you know, I know Daddy

would pay a lot of money if you would just help me get back to L .A.

You're welcome to join us on our journey westward. Perhaps there you will find

the land you seek.

Well, all right.

I mean, it's the best offer I've gotten all day.

Hey, is that cat going to come with us?

His name is Roo.

We travel everywhere together.

Make it really difficult to get into a hotel.

Zoo? You know, where they keep all sorts of animals.

The animals are free.

This is their land.

I'm their friend.

Okay, okay.

Jackie Trent.

And you?

Dar.

Dar what?

Dar, do you understand anything I say to you?

No.

Just like Daddy.

Roots.

You'll give it in a loincloth.

Delicious.

It'll keep us alive.

No, thanks.

I'll just stick with the salad bar.

You know, that vulture's been circling above us for about an hour.

That little vulture?

That's my eagle.

Magnificent bird. Jarrah!

The boy and his bird.

touching.

I send him to scout for me.

He is my eyes.

A seeing eye bird.

You know, this isn't half bad when it's cooked.

You really do all right for yourself.

You live off the land.

You get along great with animals.

Totally self -sufficient.

Look, Dara, I have to ask.

Were you raised by wolves or what?

So, Dar, tell me, what's with you and these animals?

They're the only family I have.

They sure do love you.

What did you say their names were?

This one's Kodo and this one's Podo.

Can I hold them?

Wait, which one's Kodo and which one's Bodo?

Yes.

I can't tell the difference.

They're adorable.

Oh, do not be deceived by appearances. They are both very shrewd thieves.

Thieves? They have cunning to get me out of very rocky situations.

It looks like they love you, too.

More of your friends?

Those are the lost towns.

That's bad, right?

They stalk the night, searching for souls to drag down into the abyss.

like a couple of guys I met in Tijuana last night.

Wait.

Where are you going?

To stand guard with Rue.

Don't worry Kodo and photo will stay with you You'll be safe

You'll

take care of me won't you

I don't know what that cat has that I don't.

Strange, this newcomer, huh?

What do you think?

Take the outsider.

The beatmaster.

Who are those geeks?

Beep!

Encountered the beast master.

And you let him escape?

Idiot! Two of my best men are fast upon his heels. My lord.

Appealing little thing.

A plain sort of a way.

Dar?

Where's Dar?

He rots.

with his beast.

Do you know where you are?

The Twilight Zone.

Where's Rod Serling?

You are in a parallel world.

Lord Arklon opened the dimensional portal and you came through.

Way rad.

Oh, uh, listen.

Leatherface.

How do you suppose I get back through this, uh, portal?

Leatherface.

I shall be happy to take you in exchange for certain information.

Information? Yes.

Hell, I'm... loaded with information. You know, I watch Jeopardy every night.

I seek a weapon known as the Neutron Detonator.

Neutron Detonator? Yes.

Right.

Well, when we're back in Los Angeles, I'll just pick one up for you at Kmart.

Beware of treachery, my lord.

Look, Daddy's really good friends with Admiral Benz. He's the chief of Pacific

Operations, and, well, I'm sure he probably has the whole warehouse full of

Neutron Detonators.

Few people have been foolish enough to betray me, little one.

Curse Castaner.

We'll just hop back through that rabbit hole and grab a neutron detonator and

you'll be back by lunch.

Promise.

We go.

The Beastmaster!

No!

I shall kill him with my own hands! No, come on!

If you wish to live, you must die.

Arkhan!

Arkhan, not now! Time is fleeting!

Brother?

You are the one I should have known Till

death do us part

You killed your own brother. No, not yet.

I merely detained him until a more propitious moment.

Although I understand why it's such a hard man to kill. After all, he is from

own blood.

Yeah, well, I bet your mom always liked him best.

Ouch. You know, I've got friends in this town.

You'll never get away with this.

Oh, Lord Auckland can get away with anything.

Now, my sweet little child.

If you value your health, you'll lead us to the neutron detonator now.

Okay, okay.

Now. Lighten up.

Good.

You gotta get yourself some fresh threads.

Apparently,

the suspects set fire to some gas lines. Okay, okay.

Guys down here took care of that. Uh -huh. This jerk knocked him out of the

alley.

Now, try talking to the guy. He won't say a thing. What?

What the hell is that doing here? Good question.

There are many of them.

And few of us.

Now, we've called in a biologist from the zoo. He has a tranquilizer dart. I

take it he didn't bring one for Mr.

Loincloth? No, that's why God invented taser guns. Come on, you know how I feel

about tasers. Look, you try rushing him.

Okay. Well, find out everything you can about the weirdo.

Have somebody run a query on all loincloth freaks. There can't be that

them. Have the whole thing on my desk tomorrow morning.

Well, Chief, tomorrow's Sunday.

You think this can wait till Monday, Bandowski?

I hear you. I thought you would.

And what can we do to you?

My associates, they're looking for a more corporate look.

I should say.

Cultural exchange, too. Of course.

Marion.

Yes, Mr. Melwood?

Would you help this lady?

Auckland.

Auckland, we must go now.

Today, darling? Look, just in from Paris.

It's the rage.

I think we've got a couple of minutes, sir.

And, sir, if you would follow me...

Ow! Where do you think you're going?

I was going to go try it on, too.

Well, can I go look at the skirt? No.

Can I go to the bathroom?

Now,

sir, here is something just great.

Sir, haven't you anything more befitting my station?

Sir, I assure you, this is the finest virgin wool.

Virgin?

My dear boy, from where I come from, the only thing a virgin is good for is

sacrifice.

Well, I have sacrificed a few in my time, too.

If you were in my... I would slit you open and disembowel

you.

You know, you should really meet my stress management therapist.

He's done grand old for me.

Um, sir.

Now,

sir. Sir, if you will just try this on, I'm sure you'll be quite pleased. We

have had three oil sheiks and one Ethiopian potentate purchase.

This exact suit.

Please, come.

This way, if you will, please.

This way.

She will stay.

The neutron detonator itself couldn't move me.

If you're real.

What did I tell you, sir? A perfect view. And if I may say, the Phantom of

Opera look is quite chic.

Where is she? To whom are you referring, sir?

Where is she?

Sir, if you are referring to a woman whom you were at with, I believe she

stepped outside with quite a hurry. Now, shall I wrap this up, or would you like

to wear it home?

I think I'm beginning to like this.

L .A.

Alright.

Oh, Wendell, it's a long story. Well, for your sake, I think that it's a

bestseller. Your father mentioned something about disinheriting you.

Then can you leave it without even paying?

So we come down here and investigate.

Anyway, this guy aims this laser thing at the front of the store. You know how

that can happen? And then before we know it, everything's destroyed.

What you're trying to tell me, Bandowski, is that there's some stranger

around with a laser beam blowing brassieres off mannequins.

Yeah, I mean, I can see your point.

I hear you. Well, I'm out of here.

Yeah, no, I know what you mean.

Okay, back to square one.

What's your name?

You, Tarzan.

Me, Coberly.

Get it?

Your name.

What is with you people?

Haven't you ever seen Tarzan before? Get back to work!

Okay, let's continue.

Archon. I must find him.

That's right. That's one bad dude. He's evil. Uh -huh. Dude, sit down. Sit down.

Sit.

Well, your pal here busted up a clothing store, and the owner is pretty.

Deep piss.

Mr. Melvin, the city cannot reimburse you.

You know what I don't understand?

How come a clean -cut jungle boy like you is hanging out with a creep like

Okay.

But your little friends are going to stay here, and you're going to stay here

until you tell me what I want to know.

Sergeant! Now, I know how traumatic a broken window can be.

How do I know?

Sarge!

I can't believe it. You're safe?

Well, neither of us is safe until I figure out what I'm going to do with

Where's our clown?

I don't know. He's probably on the cover of GQ by now. He knows.

He's dangerous.

We must find him.

Where are we?

Darwin, my world.

From what I can tell, it's a parallel world to yours.

Only we have more smog.

This is Los Angeles.

L .A.

L .A.? Largest city in California.

Most awesome place in the universe.

This carriage, it moves without horsepower.

I told Daddy to get this thing tuned up. He never listens to me.

Asshole!

Asshole.

Asshole.

Asshole!

Rock and roll, baby.

Rock and roll.

It does remind me of an earthquake.

doing in my life.

I shall feed on your memories and know all that you know.

You shall tell me how to get to your military base and what skills I need to

survive in your world.

And when you're finished, your mind shall be blank and all that you know

cease to be.

visible dents.

Thank you.

Have you heard from Daddy yet?

Yes. Oh, good.

He says you're not to move until he returns tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Wendell, I told you, it can't wait.

Well, he can't be reached. He's in a meeting all day at the Stone Tower. Oh,

Wendell. I swear to Miss Jackie.

Sir Wendell.

Well, is there anything to eat? We're totally famished.

Well, you, Miss Jackie, owe me.

Dar, in here.

The ink.

Hmm.

That's a beak.

Usually to animals.

This is Dar.

He's my friend.

Not another surfer?

No, I'd say he's more of an animal trainer.

Oh, well, your father will be overjoyed. Is this to eat or

look upon?

Good question.

Eat.

What?

Look, I haven't eaten anything but roots for the last few days, okay?

Another of your exotic diets?

Is he housebroken?

Miss Jackie, I think this

may be going too far.

Don't worry, Wendell. This is Chirac, Cotto, and Poto.

They won't hurt you.

My God.

Your food.

Very colorful.

Well, colorants and preservatives are our main source of nutrition.

Short in life, but they taste good.

Miss Jackie, this has gone far enough.

I'm calling your father.

Good, because when do we really need to talk to him? Our club.

We must find him.

Come on, darling, let's watch the six o 'clock news.

Is Senator Trent there?

Yes, I know he's in a meeting.

But this is an emergency.

Tell him I will not be responsible.

For what? For a pterodactyl and a bunch of rats loose in the house.

He's out of control.

What are these images?

These are pictures.

See, that's one of Daddy and me.

And this is Daddy and my mom.

She's not with us any longer.

She is... away on a journey?

No, she died a couple of years ago.

You must miss her.

I do.

Come on, let's watch the news.

Television, Dar.

Pictures of our world.

Doctors say that former President Reagan will be able to dress himself again in

no time. See, nobody admits that they watch it, but almost everybody has at

least two of them. The Army Research Center is about to test a nuclear device

known as the neutron detonator.

What are you doing here?

I'm singing.

I study music.

See, it's real important to me to convey emotion.

You know, like laughs or tears.

According to an article in the National Enquirer, this weapon is capable of

destroying all life in a thousand mile radius.

The government, however, has given no official word of its existence. This

is really trying to get the bomb.

...in the Naval Research Center here at Long Beach. Can you find him?

My pedal is already to the metal.

And we can't go dressed like this.

Daddy's got a lot in here that will fit you. Go.

Bertie, please, go away. Fly away home.

Here, put this on.

Pardon me, sir.

I'll be your liaison here on the base, Lieutenant Colonel.

You again.

At your service.

Somehow I expected to find you here, Laura.

Great minds think alike.

Suppose you know where the neutron detonator is located?

Well, of course. I even have the security badges to get us inside.

Badges? I don't need badges.

I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot allow you inside.

What do you care to explain that, Sergeant?

Your papers are correct, but your badges only give you E2 clearance.

This is an E1 security area.

You want me to tell General Binns that we were refused entry because security

made some error and gave us the wrong badges?

That won't be necessary, ma 'am. I'll call security right now.

Sure, we can clear this matter up immediately.

Red alert. Red alert. Factor B.

Hate that when it happens.

One of my former partners had the same problem.

Go, go, go!

All that you know shall be mine.

Out of my brain!

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Yes! Yes!

So, my lovely, lovely, you intended to kill me so you could rule my kingdom by

yourself? No, you need me to get out!

portal opens only on a full moon.

And that's tonight.

Bye -bye.

chat with general bin see senator herbert trent's my dad or not lady

getting in during a red alert this is absolutely ridiculous

our

time

What, you again?

At your service.

Get out of my car!

What do you wish me to do, fly?

Well, you are a witch, aren't you?

Now get out!

You need me to help you find him.

I thought you were on Arklon's side.

I'm on my side, Kit.

In your world, I'd be an arbitrage.

Arklon is going to the portal.

It's that alley that we came through.

He has two hours after sundown to pass through, or it closes on him.

Well, with the traffic, it'll take us at least that long to get there.

You'd better be telling the truth, witch.

I know, I know. You'll cleave my black heart and my bosom.

Look at the life of me. I don't know why everyone wants to cleave my bosom.

Trust me, it cleaves just fine by itself.

Hey, I'm back to the bay.

Victory!

Yeah, well, if you didn't let him go in the first place... Yeah.

Yeah, I know you lost him. Yeah, yeah. Well, we're here with General Benz right

now, working on a plan.

Uh -huh.

Right? Yeah.

Okay, the point is, will you be able to stop the damn thing once we find it? Oh,

yeah.

Half an hour.

And then... Bluey.

Chief, we're checking the alley where we found her.

What are you doing here? Get down there. Go on.

In the name of our father, King Zed, leave this weapon and return to our

with me.

All this evil must cease.

Oh, my dearest brother.

Brother!

The things I could have taught you.

Things.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time.

I have to get back to our world with this device.

And without you, you must pass me first.

Really?

Well, that's nothing but a minor inconvenience, isn't it, little brother?

Don't you just love this town? The music, the life.

He thinks I'm going back to dust the old desert with his brain dead.

Ronald, you've got to do me a favor, okay? You have to... I have to reach my

father, Senator Trent.

Who is Senator?

Well, it's not a world ruler, but it's a start.

I have to help Dar.

Hey, you be careful.

I

tell

you the truth.

I would rather Ben an only child.

I hope you've enjoyed flying Jackie Airlines.

We lost

him.

I want all available choppers to the north side. This is a code six. I

code six.

Vandalski, let's get out of here. Come on.

Now, let us make haste.

Our clown must not be allowed to escape.

That's easier said than done.

It's traveling through a leafy green area.

Brick buildings.

Sounds like Griffith Park to me.

We're on our way.

Wait a minute.

Something's happening.

the way to my kingdom.

My kingdom!

You've been spying on me again, haven't you?

You and I have a score to set a little beast.

Oh, yes.

Wow.

Look at these scars you gave me.

Look!

You've bothered me for too long, little brother.

Now I think a time we separate.

He was my friend.

Now it's time to learn the real power of our God, brother.

Sword to sword.

Man to man for the possession of the device.

A flair for the dramatics. I like that.

You realize this key still has enough power to ignite the weapon.

Then we both die.

Yes, how glorious.

What a glorious death.

Think of the multitudes of souls who we will take to hell with us.

It's good to see you again.

I'd feel better if you held on to that for a while.

Now, shall we continue?

adventure island living in complete harmony.

It's the most exciting live animal act west of the Serengeti.

Our trainers have worked long and hard to overcome their natural animosity.

See how they express their love and affection.

One of us must die. It is such a pity. It must be you. We're of the same blood.

What's this frolic together in the center ring?

Adventure Island's most engaging couple.

Let's see if we can get them to kiss.

is for the women!

Read me, friend.

General Vince, the detonator is here. We have to hurry.

Take care of those animals, Vandalsky. Watch where you step.

They're bluey.

I remember.

Oh.

I remember this.

One of these.

Oh. I remember.

He remembers.

I think.

I think they're on.

I'll jerk you something!

this weekend would turn out like this.

You have to go back to your world?

This is a great responsibility.

It's time someone used it for the benefit of my people.

Thank you.

For being my friend.

More than that.

Oh, I almost forgot to give you your little thief.

Oh.

No.

I want them to stay with you.

Somebody to keep you out of trouble.

Oh, come on. Me get in trouble?

I guess they don't look much like Raph after all.

And you.

You're just a big pussycat, aren't you?

Say goodbye.

Yeah.

Will you... You know, I mean, after you straighten things out in your world,

think you might come back sometime?

I would like that very much.

And... I have the key.

Where? Oh, Poro and Poro.

Talk about your wild weekends.

This one goes down in the record book.

Sword fights to the death.

Thermonuclear destruction.

Time travel to a land that doesn't have gas stations.

I mean, how much fun can a girl take?

I know.

I'm going to miss him, too.

He was really something special.

Good day, brother.

It seems you've traveled a long distance.

You'll never know.

What brings you to this forsaken desert?

My brothers and I are on a pilgrimage.

We've come to worship the sacred object left by God.

No one knows what it is or how it works.

But everyone wants to prevent it.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

Rock and roll.

Day after day, night after night.

Rock and roll.

I searched the sky, and I called out your name.

I'm on the run, and you're not here with me.

i'll be the