Original subtitles

[Music]

[Applause]

shall miss my boat don't worry

sweetheart you'll catch the boat

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

in conclusion my invention simply picks

up electrical impulses sent from the

station on shore this furnishes power

for the auxiliary propellers with them

we expect to achieve a speed of 65 knots

per hour thank you

uh you have just heard mr robert hayes

tell you how fast we will cross the

ocean 65 knots how fast is 65 knots how

do you do it

oh 65 knots is approximately i should

say

miles

i know you want to hear the voice of

that great radio announcer who will be

in charge of our daily broadcast ladies

and gentlemen

mr buzz

feeling he didn't get here yet oh well i

do not anything but but go ahead and do

it yes sir an imitation of a man playing

a violin

[Music]

ladies and gentlemen there seems to be

some delay on our program

where is he you just have some patience

why you'll soon hear the genial voice of

your your own announcer mr uh buzzfeely

yeah that's what you think

buzzfeed point

it's bad enough to be in jail don't

worry he won't be on that program how do

you know so much because i'm buzzfeed

is that so yeah well what are you doing

in alimony jail well i had a little

trouble keeping a wife and the

government on one salary

sorry to keep you waiting out there it's

all right

is this the one i think so it's been

some time since i've seen him

yes that's he yes it is here's another

one says she's your wife hello buzzy boy

i hope you're happy now that you've put

me in this monkey cage just because i

missed a couple of installments number

three coming up hello buzz

what is this a convention obviously oh

uh mrs fielding uh mrs fielding and uh

mrs fielding uh one and two this is

fielding number three

mighty touching scene here are you

expecting anymore no i know when i've

had enough

buzz dear if you just hand over the

money i'm sure the uh

girls will agree to let you out of here

so you can earn a lot more money for us

yeah but what money you all got 50 000

in advance to put on the broadcast from

the gigantic yeah but that's not my

that's not my money that's for the

talent i won't touch a cent of it what

did you bet it on this time darling bet

the nose of the gigantic she's a cinch

to beat the colossal and i got even

money excuse me i'm looking for mrs

fielding everybody here is mrs fielding

but me well the judge said he wanted to

see mrs feeling so i guess you'll all

have to come along

remember the last time we were in jail

together darling

our wedding night

did you ever manage to find the marriage

license

gee that was about the maddest house

detective i ever saw

there he is bus dorothy boy you sure do

all right

don't worry you'll be out in a few

minutes i just paid your alimony with

what

your engagement ring

dorothy are the most marvelous girl in

the world it almost makes me feel like

crying

i think i will it wasn't paid for

oh excuse me mrs fielding uh you're

wrong brother for once but i can see how

you picked up the habit oh you can come

out now everything's been fixed no

fooling

sure fine having you here again mr well

don't think i haven't enjoyed it because

i haven't so long don't miss the big

broadcast from the gigantic when you

hear my theme song the first few bars

will be for you

33 and a third percent what are you

crabbing about before you all came along

cleo and i split in 50 50.

the thick i used to own him a hundred

percent

oh

pardon my curiosity but uh where'd this

money come from she said she was just a

friend she

say that's how we started

you started say girls come see what i

see

oh

just a friend i can almost see the

number four on her back i'm not going to

take another cut he can't chisel me down

any 25 come on

everything depends upon you my dear

brother you're embarking for europe

immediately

everything is arranged

proceed wants to pierce thirteen we will

embark upon the colossal remember the

name colossal

the prison holder of the atlantic

crossing record

you will receive further instructions

upon your arrival in europe i wish you

your usual luck

thank you and the hockey hand class

have a good time thanks i'll even go out

of my way to have it but you must hurry

sb

i'm off tf okay

i'm leaving everything in your hands

[Music]

wow

[Music]

the mail set oh thank you thank you

uh

postal from paris

for my friend major biggleswade

the paris what will they pick up next

[Music]

uh destroyed at once quite so yes indeed

sir

your brother sir sb

seemed to be in quite a hurry say if i

must say sir i sent him off in a hurry

he's got to catch the colossal he only

has a few moments

but might i remind you sir the colossal

is not our boat our boat is a gigantic

ah true true the colossal is our nearest

rival

but need i remind you

that my brother s b

has been connected with every major

disaster since the seeking of the

merrimack

i haven't dig sweet 13 for him on the

colossal very very good sir

then if anything happens

it won't be our power boat sir

you know who has speed

[Music]

hey

guess i want a speech

my friends

how i think i can call your friends

these aren't soldiers sir

are you seeing my father

one of the great immorals of his uh

great immortals of his time

[Music]

[Applause]

how many says ah

i just thought of it

hillary

very good sir right to the brim

how's your horn

oh i suppose uh

don't be facetious

do you have much time to catch the

colossal sir nonsense plenty of time

after a game of golf yes sir

hey you are sir uh thank you how much

that'll be one cent sir uh and seven

cents tax making a grand total of eight

cents sir cash corn uppercase oh yes sir

what with sir taxes sir social security

unemployment street bonds and old age

pension sir

the gas is the same but the taxes have

gone up

what are you doing uh

inflating your tire sir how many pounds

uh pillar up

hey have you got any spare parts for

these things well yes sir well get me a

new thumb will ya well i must watch the

pressure sir i'll watch the pressure go

go

go go go go

go

what's the pressure

no air was gonna hurt anything

[Music]

[Music]

pay up two now i told you to watch that

tire well i'm dreadfully sorry sir i'll

have it fixed in five minutes five

minutes and i'm sailing on the colossal

ten minutes ago

dropped

drop that i'll sue you

on my way before i hit somebody

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh speed

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

my

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

come on snails

get the lid out of here

feet too heavy

next to medium

you're all teed up sir oh thank you

what do you mean i'm all teed up don't

be rude how far is this whole 420 yards

sir 420 yards 420 yards of wind against

man hand me that putter thank you

thank you boy keep your eye on the ball

ah

hello afraid i'd miss that ah thank you

where's the ball sorry sir it hasn't got

here yet ah the wind's against me here

she comes now

out here stand clear keep your eye on

the ball there goes the colossal mr

fellow that's how i can do another 20

minutes

it's a lily

that ball will run like a frightened

farm

run out guys

anyways

[Music]

how

you silly looking capper

pick up those lost balls

look more like mickey mouse and mickey

mouse doesn't smell

you're a coat

coat you understand yes sir wow thank

you

not to be confused with cootie

just a coupe

not a good looking cool guy though

an ordinary cool

common garden cool

tarantula keep your eye on the ball

hello

i've got to catch that scare

come on seabiscuit give me that 404

elephant gun come on hand it to me don't

stand there zoey

[Music]

[Music]

ah

hi good morning larseny uh washington

had a bad time in that trap didn't you

mr bill

got out in one poke i thought it took

you several oh bad time killing a rather

stubborn flying wombat

little figures get into your shoe good

morning mr bellows ah good morning book

swans

how was your game

uh

18 for nine hole

it's 81 mr bellows you're holding the

card upside down nosy parker

coming to a pretty past when a common

caddy tells a gentleman how to hold his

corn

ah there's that tongue sandwich now

i'll get into there

[Music]

ladies and gentlemen the greatest race

of the age was soon beyond two giant

greyhounds of the sea battling for the

crossing record and may this one i mean

the best one win

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

all right don't knock yourself out it's

all right we will soon pass ambrose

light where the race will officially

begin and between you and me folks the

gigantic can't lose why with our new

radio par we'll skip over to france

before you can say jack robinson jack

roberts

and now ladies and gentlemen i want to

introduce a man who made a bubble into a

musical career mr shep feels two years

ago come next wash day chet became the

columbus of the swing world by

discovering rippling rhythm and here he

is ladies and gentlemen mr sheffield's

in person who will show you how rippling

rhythm was born okay shep let a ripple

[Music]

do

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

hey

[Music]

let me show you

[Music]

this little ripple had rhythm

and the other little ripples had none

[Music]

[Music]

the kid's okay they love to play

[Applause]

[Music]

thank you

it blew off it's a new head i know it

how old hats never blow up

well thank you for your trouble well i

like catching hats

some people like to go to fire some

people like to raise tulips i just love

catching hats what do you do when

there's no wind

[Applause]

i do think that as long as we're going

to make this our life's work we should

know each other

i'm robert hayes i'm dorothy windham how

do you do very well at the moment

what do you do when you're not chasing

hands oh i'm an inventor

that uh radio power plant's mine oh

oh

well

well girl loses hat boy rescues hat

girl is grateful for hat

oh

boy is grateful for wind

[Music]

[Music]

hurry up

stand clear keep your eye on the ball

she's in

she's out i've missed it

come come

come my little pillowy

ah she's saying

the only way to play it she made the

round trip

ah that reminds me i'm a single little

lady her alimony

are you going to keep the card sir keep

nothing no one ever doubts my word keep

the ball instead

sad

mr colossal sir ah that's what you think

thanks

gangway eagles

come on

[Music]

i got double vision

he's going to put it down

what's the matter with you don't you

know better than the land here you idiot

quiet flip squeak stand clear folks and

keep your eye on the ball what am i

talking about what's going on here

telegram for me hand it over i am the

captain i thought you were a messenger

boy who are you my name is bello oh yes

mr village i'm pleased to meet you ah

hey you saw my hand stop you twitting

how are are we we're just passing the

bar ah keep right on going we'll stop at

the next one

we are just approaching the light ship

where the record run formally begins ah

then i'll open the case for me right now

wipe the top of the bottle off

uh there's anything i can do for you

i see it made the captain angry it's too

bad mr bellish you can't show us that

trick invention who shot i couldn't this

little squirt hayes huh yeah he's tough

he is i step up on those handlebars and

tell him i'm tough too i can lick my

weight in wildflowers

tell me

oh goodness mr willows you're fine why

please cry ah this way scums are chums

this is snow

as the champion tree

or the kigal road robert hayes is the

inventor i understand why why that log

stole the idea from me

i muttered my plans one night watching

the throes of delirium tremor our

old-fashioned stomachache say do you

know anything about electricity

my father occupied the chair of applied

electricity extinct prison

well what is this thing up here oh all

that jazz

it's a patent cigar cutter i think

[Music]

look out you broken it can you fix it

i'll click here

nobody else okay

hi now this gentleman is a uh

is it still

put the mash in here and it comes out uh

final word come out i'll be there myself

right now

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

never lost your life sir

my life matters for a little look at

that umbrella an impulsive gift from the

ronnie of gear mr hayes are you ready to

turn on your electric car yes sir i hope

so electricity bar lock those doors oh

but mr bellows i i don't but me who's

the boss around here like oh my god

i heard what he said i'm terribly sorry

yeah

well

that's that

[Music]

[Applause]

full speed ahead full speed ahead

[Music]

gentlemen the race is on good luck sir

we'll need it we'll need it

mr bellows absolutely refuses to let us

use the radio power what

but we don't stand a chance without it

the ship was designed for it i know a

gentleman but it's mr bello's ship i can

only obey orders but but the colossal

will beat us for at least a half a day

i'm aware that sir

[Music]

uh ladies and gentlemen i have a rare

treat for you a great mexican singer

tito gazar

you know all afternoon i tossed and

turned trying to resist the temptation

to come out here and say what this

country needs is a good five cent gazar

with a band

well now i've said it

and i wish i hadn't

ladies and gentlemen

cheeto gazar

[Music]

don't be mad i was only kidding

[Music]

bizarre

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

from

[Music]

could i suppose that i would choose the

very rose that i knew my

[Music]

dropped

my heart

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

thank you very much ladies and gentlemen

now i'd like to sing for you a song that

if i had to call it in my own spanish i

will say it

and in english you call it

i love you

[Music]

soon

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Applause]

when do we turn on the machinery bob no

we don't mr bellows refuses to let me go

near it

say that slow and strap me in bellows

can't do that yes he can you see he paid

for it i only invented it fifty thousand

dollars my bankroll my alimony my wind

my poor buzz oh oh my heart's right up

in my mouth i hope you don't chip off

any teeth

if uh we could use your invention do we

still have a chance to win oh i'm

positive but mr bellows won't let me get

near it so he doesn't have to know does

he you mean turn it on without his okay

shh

not so loud

fifty thousand dollars

if we could just keep bellows off the

top deck keep his mind on something else

grace

looks like a job for you why throw me to

that beagle nose bugle i mean you will

lose beagle because dolly mother nature

gave you a little finger that men just

ate to be wrapped around well i still

don't see darling he owns this boat

[Music]

owns it owns it

well then i'll take some blocks along

for his second

childhood here he comes

i figure pardon there you were on the

wrong side you should have thrown your

horn why don't you look where you're

going steward stuart just call me stew

for sure oh i'm so sorry mr bells i

didn't recognize you in this bad life oh

everybody seemed to see me in a bad line

didn't i meet you once at the chicken

show and cucamonga oh that's very sweet

of you but i really don't think so you

see i'm a widow oh we'd all find people

widows howl the greatest times of my

life will the widow escorted her through

a brewery

she got all hopped up about it would you

do something for me mr bellows

i'm looking for the bar oh come with me

i know the short car

chat around with me you'll have a laugh

on every other girl of both vice

president

[Music]

did you find the trouble yet oh hello no

i'm not yet oh it's too bad

look what i brought you well bless your

heart

say where's bellows oh don't worry grace

has that situation well under control

fine

sandwiches don't you have one no thank

you

hmm it is a swell

[Music]

[Music]

two

two one

two thank you

[Music]

[Music]

pretty

who me

no that song idiot

i haven't heard it before you took the

words right out of my heart

and it was like a boat from the blue

you took the words right out of my heart

what's the matter well there's not

enough sugar

three

[Music]

the moment i saw you smile

i had the words and you in my heart

there wasn't room enough for the tool

you took the words right out of my heart

and left only room for you

do you believe in love at first sight

so do i well that is i mean

well if things weren't

oh you know

yeah

i know

[Music]

say hayes hayes

oh how you doing i'm not thank you

[Music]

oh hello dear hello

[Music]

say what gives out here anyway

supper

you want some

what a time to eat

[Music]

if columbus had sailed on this boat the

indians would still own america

come come darling you've been in worse

fixes than this

yeah we haven't we

we always managed to wiggle out somehow

though

say remember that deputy sheriff in new

haven without his pants

and the time i walk down though this is

no time to start remembering now i'm

going to make your announcement

so you know cleo we've had an awful lot

of fun

yeah

between fights

say remind me to ask you sometime how we

happen to get divorced

uh ladies and gentlemen

it isn't often that i have the privilege

of introducing such a distinguished

artist as madame kirsten flagstad star

of the metropolitan opera company

adam flagstaff is going been acclaimed

the world's greatest living soprano she

will sing an area from richard wagner's

opera the valkyrie brune hilda's battle

cry

mr wilford pelletier of the metropolitan

will conduct

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

so

[Applause]

[Music]

wow

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

is

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

i don't know

i'm looked at

now i am

what's this thing

infection

why don't you knock before your command

oh oh yes certainly

come here

now i'm out here stay out there

and walk around the deck but i can't

i'm in the bathroom stay in the bathroom

that you won't bite anybody else

meet me down the bar

we'll drink breakfast together

watch your own tech

what are you doing in the reading room

reading ah

here's some breakfast food

all right no beer

that well how you feeling this morning i

feel like a tuned bride and how does the

june bride feel i wonder i wonder

that thai shrunk have you been wearing

it no

may i come in sir you are in captain's

compliment sir he'd like to see you on

the break sir we just received an sos

from a sinking ship and if we go to the

rescue it may cause us to lose the race

look mr bellows how can i go to the

rescue until i know where they are first

you tell me to do one thing and then you

turn it into another never mind what i

tell you to do

you do what i tell you

i'm sorry sir we can't find their

position i've got them on the radio

telephone but all they do is argue all i

can make out of it is oh boy

switch that sos call here hell this is

the art hesperus the fifth my brother

shark

we are sinking they're sticking they're

drinking evidently the laundry too is 69

degrees of tropical capital 45 degrees

west latitude 38 degrees at 14 minutes

north hey never mind the arithmetic tell

them where we are

my daughter's own voice my little jola

mr brook we're changing our course set

lookouts for the sinking ship our human

life is at stake my daughter cannot be

described as human

wherever she goes disaster foul have you

any proof that your daughter causes

these disasters oh she's an unfortunate

girl seven years ago she crashed an

airplane in the mirror factory

eight hundred and broke

one mirrors

point three port point five

point three point point five point three

four point five point whatever you want

who i'm going up here

we are making a left turn why don't you

say so i'll put my hand down go ahead

boy pass the other side

hi ho

that's all black here

ah move over to one side

you're in a habit of standing before a

minor when he's looking through his

barnacle barnacles

[Applause]

it looks like a sea serpent

well that's what i thought give me that

man sure that's not all the time

i told you my luck has changed

here they are folks martha bellows in

the shipwreck party are now coming at

the side of the gigantic martha's rescue

by her father's ship proves even to us

who can see him that mr bellows is

almost human what her moment ladies and

gentlemen are for a father to snatch his

daughter from the gripping jaws of death

hello papi where you been quiet frog

mouth i'm on a secret mission

where'd you get the pick in the knees oh

it's just a little thing i dreamed up

time for your child's got whiskers and

it smells like an old gumbo misspeller

the gigantic is honored to have rescued

you

our captain doesn't know what boat is on

this is the colossal

pirates come i know what food i'm on mr

village you can see for yourself

the boots are wrong can't read that to

put the letters on upside down i can

assure you it's the gigantic

great caesar's goat ghost

tf's own boat you're overboard the

forward sink mr bellas you can't throw

your own daughter overboard why not let

the sharks protect themselves but daddy

daddy you don't understand my

seven-year-old dad looks up i take no

charges don't look at my mirror

don't look in the mirror martha

and she broke 9000 of them

mike

[Applause]

maybe we can glue them together

maybe we can glue them together

well that's that

are you upset upset what have i got to

be upset about i'm in the process of

losing fifty thousand dollars on a boat

that would need a handicap against a

lame sardine i go on the air in about

two minutes and none of my performers

will perform because you talked out of

turn well all i said was that you were

losing fifty thousand dollars on the

race and what did they say oh they said

you didn't have fifty thousand dollars

oh they did and what did you say oh i

stuck up for you i said you had more

than fifty thousand dollars ten dollars

of your own

and their salaries and what their

salaries

oh never mind look

take this part of a mic and go around

the ship and see if you can pick up

something from the passengers i'll ram

until you're ready

pick up the passengers

go away go away

uh ladies and gentlemen in just a few

moments we start our daily broadcast now

i want you folks to sit back and relax

and have a good time we have quite a few

jokes here on the program uh i think

you'll enjoy there's one here about a

little school boy that used to take a

big apple to the teacher and now he

takes the teacher to the big apple

that's the first joke i thought you'd

like

big apples to dance

[Applause]

good

let's try another one shall we it seems

there were two flyers in an airplane and

one flyer did a loop-de-loop

and the other fire fell out so the first

player looked down and he said pardon me

pardon me yeah that's what he said

well how do you do could you please tell

me where they have the entertainment the

entertainment yes you go right down the

hall and you

this is the entertainment this is where

the broadcast takes place right here oh

well i'm honey child i'd like to help

you out well i don't need much help but

uh what can you do well i'd like to sing

i want to be a singer in the worst way

you probably will be what kind of a

voice have you got anyway yeah but when

i sing i cry

when you sing you cry

well uh why do you cry cause i can't

sing oh well that's great we won't

bother with that then we'll look at i

have another little joke here that i

think you may have yeah but i want to

sing way down south and dixie you want

to sing way down southern dixie what

time's your bus leave oh i want to sing

it right now well you go ahead and sing

step right up i'll stand over here so

they won't think i'm beating you

way down south in the land of cotton oh

folks there i'm not forgotten look away

look away

look away look away

go ahead we're still safe

oh i wish i wasn't dixie so do i

so you want to help me out huh why did

you decide on helping me out well you

see i had a fight with my folks and i

want to do something to disgrace them

[Laughter]

well you probably came to the right guy

uh i think this audience here would

appreciate something of the legitimate

nature do you do any dramatics at all oh

sure i can handle that junk

oh you do that legitimate trash eh well

you haven't got a piece of claudette

colbert hanging around loose that you

could do for us have you oh yes i have a

little playlist i play all the

characters myself you play all the

characters yourself i play all the

characters myself is there an echo in

here well let's see what is that like

well i'll explain this is the villain

this is the heroine

and this is the hero oh you play all

those yourself well that's a nice small

cast let's see that we'd like to see

that

is is that part of the play that yeah

that's the curtain going up

come pay the rent

come pay the rent but i can't pay the

rent i can't pay the rent come pay the

rent come pay the rent but i can't pay

the rent i can't pay the rent

i'll pay the rent

i'll pay the rent

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

you took the words

[Music]

and then there's a one about the fella

that went to the dentist

he only had a dollar so they gave him

buck teeth

oh wait a minute

here it is

[Music]

it's dorothy wyndham by remote control

call unawares

[Music]

only room

there ought to be a law against songs

like that why it was not right hearing

you sing that is like reading love

letters intended for someone else

it's dreadful when a letter sent to the

right person by

mistake oh but there's nothing we can do

about it bob

you mean buzz

as i was saying in the first 12 hours we

came this far now all together we've

only come this far uh another mile need

to crack my skull you're the captain why

don't you do something about it

you talk like a motorboat this situation

calls for immediate action going away

[Music]

suffering sciatica where have you been

why don't you stick with me down the

bathroom i want you to scrub my back

i'll see you in position first

eventually but right now we've got to

come over in the bridge with me come on

give me that hat here hold this

hold back

that's fine come on now

hey i want to show you this chart do you

know anything about it i know it

backwards your usual form thank you very

much see we've been up hell up to now

once we get over the hump we coax right

down into sherburne what's this rand

mcnelly oh evidently an irish possession

here's a snapshot of my little daughter

martha

i'm an attack when my lawyer sees it

we're in magic perfume

oh no right

highlight my costume for the big dance

number

see oh martha don't don't get in front

of the mirror don't you think it fits my

personality uh yeah just barely yeah i'm

so cute i better put my picture in the

front page i never forget the last time

you had your picture on the front page

your mouth was continued on page two

oh

well why did you cut yourself uh i

wanted to find out if i was anemic

t.i feel so wonderful what a what a form

what a figure

oh

well uh

i'm i'm sorry any mirror can just fall

down and break

any uh it wasn't my fault was it

[Music]

[Music]

ah here's where we make a couple of

pretty dear friendships you gotta straws

ah it's too clean you're very careful

right

now

welcome yes sir uh bring us two whiskey

sodas yes spoken when it's made of

tongue

move over there that's all right i like

that oh dear that's fine

make it four whiskey sodas don't put

your hat on the table

as i was saying yes i was married to him

for eight months i gave him the best

years of my life first years of his

life he wouldn't give me a penny where

was your mother

couldn't come that day but he'll pay and

he'll pay through his nose

oh my god this even a bit snooty very

silly little girls that better slip

right through the finger as well where

are we going from there see you later

is that a tomato he's eating or is that

his nose evidently they're insulted

you say anything to them i never opened

my

mouth i've lost my heart damage is up

there huh ow

i told you i lost it okay

goodbye

goodbye there

there it goes

here give me that you got a heart of

your own

what's the matter darling

hello cleo

what's the matter

little man had a busy day this is no

time for wisecracks mew or anyone else

fifty thousand dollars well what's 50

000

i'm going out and eat worms with salt

and pepper and stuff

oh wait a minute

thank you say keep them coming and give

her the cherries buddy well thanks for

remembering say make that an extra big

one so i can catch up with him huh

you know buzz

i i cleaned up an old trunk yesterday

and i found that green tide of yours you

know the one with the stripes

really

uh

you know something buzz

what

i kind of miss you're singing in the

bathtub

good old baton

good old singing

now what does that mean that means that

robert hayes invention's a failure

i wish i could be of some help stumped

by a short circuit oh come on bob it

isn't hopeless is it no no it's not

hopeless well that'll take a month to

find by that time the trip will be over

and so will what i laughingly call my

career oh bob oh excuse me i thought i

was someplace else

well

so long

just remember where you left off

hey hey come back here

come on

well

do you mind if i sort of pass through

you see i thought this was a thing that

went around the whole thing up there and

it came like this one

i guess i must have busted something huh

well how much would it cost to have

fixed my dream girl eureka hey i'll

resent that my dream princess

your nose is cold

what is it it's the tip of bella's

umbrella she found that it's the short

circuit i couldn't locate yeah but

what's all the kissing about you

understand you found the tip of the

umbrella

i'll be right back where are you going

i'm going to get more umbrellas

oh

hey i'll be right back

you think it'll start now

i don't know

we can try

cross your fingers

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh i'm a vulnerable cow at the game i

will make an exception in your case much

small wager right sir any amount uh

yes but uh how much shall we say a pound

wait a ton

ah there's too much loft on that too

cause you shoot

imagine a man wearing a roller towel for

a hat

got a little soap in your pocket

maybe don't use soap sorry

that's you

uh

oh yes yes well you win yeah

i just uh hold my coat america

thank you bye nice shot

thanks go ahead don't put it down don't

put it down and get some valuable papers

in the pocket

[Applause]

oh

[Music]

my shot don't shoot yet wait a minute

wait a minute i am funny shooting at

[Applause]

i see is the ship rolling slightly or am

i only just a little bit bossy tell me

which pocket are you aiming for

i'll tell you a minute

that's fine i play them all all right

now i got my girl you got a match

no oh hold on

chocolate sauce no thank you no

yes please where just behind you stick

around i already want you to say i

cheated afterwards

wait a minute now

there she goes

that's

fine now

this ship needs a shorter queue pull the

heck up away

jump away

stand right where you are

[Music]

okay

side pocket maybe

wait a minute i don't know which side

yet

lucky shot

rip it i wonder what that porthole was

there for

a look out

for the chocolate and got the banana

hair oh yes you're doing nothing

thank you beautiful

why you silly old monkey you uh oh he's

all right if you know how to take him

i was afraid you wouldn't be here

bring a wet towel next time keep cool

dear i'll bring a wrap out for you in a

minute

i'll be there just get another chair

i'll sit down with her

finishing up a game of figures here

don't put that down there there's some

very valuable papers in the pocket i

don't want sort of papers uh cigarette

papers

unfortunately i said i wonder what made

it jump out i wonder i wonder what am i

really good anyway you forgot to call

your shot i say see here you're making

me look like a belly clothes horse and i

feel so silly well you don't look silly

you don't think i trust every tom dick

and harry on this boat with my valuable

papers okay but my name's harry well i

would make an exception in harry's case

the draw shot

give me that hat you look like the

two-headed boy in the circus stand clear

now whatever time

how do you expect anyone to play pool on

a moth eating tong table like that

is a lawyer on the ship

[Music]

[Applause]

oh scoop darling look at the moon isn't

it glorious

yeah you're right there sort of moon

ah a night like this does things to me

a night like this yes it it it's the

magic of it all right oh romeo romeo

i swear by an inconstant moon

whose silvery beams be smears the lost

horizon they smear the loss yes that's

what i said be smeared that's what i

thought oh won't you be my romeo yes you

we will rehearse the death sea what is a

strange power i'd like to have of you

[Music]

yes sir yes sir yes sir

i've been kissed by a tunnel it's that

thing that

i i just can't help but

we were fading for each other

and in spite of your masculine charms

you remind me of my mother

i'm an innocent babe in your arms your

lips

like wine caress me lover mine

tonight

we

[Music]

that moon is here again that boy is near

again and i'm just a girl

oh mama dear mama

i'm coming up to temple i always do that

[Music]

my heart is gone oh mama

dear mama

please don't wait up for me

i'm glad i took the key that moves here

again

oh mama

and dear

moon is here again

that boy is gone again and i'm all alone

oh mama

don't blame your angel triumph

[Music]

here again

[Music]

don't blame your angel child

that fool has got me while and i'm on my

own

one two a three a four a five

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

here again

[Music]

come on

i'm trying to be friendly at all

what's playing here satchel

come on break it up where you fella

i'm i'm a sweet kid

[Music]

hello everybody and folks

you and i do mean you first comes our

report of the big race with the ss

colossal

oh i forgot we've stopped giving those

no we haven't

this is buzz feeling speaking and i i'm

not going to say anything about the race

except that we're gaining with every

turn of the turbines

[Applause]

you have something

oh hold your breath folks

say we've just gained 200 miles on the

colossal if we can keep this up why

we'll pass her before morning

[Music]

[Applause]

or you get a certain satisfaction when

you stick you gotta you get

oh

[Music]

she played her cars right again with a

diamond tiara you know mr bell says

something awfully big about oh thank you

uh thank you after you dare oh thank you

stick with me

stand by to reduce speed

talk so think you can't see your hand in

front of you what's the matter your hand

love it what do you want to look at it

for

full speed ahead as captain of this ship

you're fired you can't discharge me in

the ocean i'm kicking mid-ocean mr

balance

there are ice creams in these waters and

other ships we must reduce speed now if

you're just stepping to the chat room

i'll prove his will

after you dear captain

back to you

thank you

show that to your lawyer i got rid of

them

how many people

kicked an officer with his cap on that

snoop man

come with me there with what the poop

day

[Applause]

mr bones come on

won't work i put a dollar and a quarter

in here this morning i only got a nickel

out well what phone number you're

playing oh oh maybe that's the catch i

don't get

this

[Music]

four million dollars on a tencent store

action oh popsicle an iceberg ah pretty

thing

i'll breed like rocks

well you see me go right in between

these two without scratching the fender

[Music]

huh i think you're pardoned i didn't

hear you there

where's she gone

that's how we fell overboard

watch this one look out for us

where

i'm working with my feet

gotta put lights on those things

it's awfully dangerous

[Music]

what you're throwing on

[Music]

just think ladies and gentlemen we're

skimming over the water at the amazing

rate of 100 miles an hour

what a world of speed we live in

everything has been speeded up

everything except the walls

dances come and dances go but weather's

slow or hot

very soon the latest dance is better

than the turkey trot but if any of you

are alive in 1785

you remember how people were shocked and

aghast

had a thing called the walls

it was too too risque

the papers predicted it never would last

but it's here today

[Music]

i'm here to stay

[Music]

yes

[Music]

but in my heart

the walls

[Music]

for it's still

the song

of love

[Music]

on

[Music]

[Applause]

it's too old-fashioned

[Applause]

[Music]

says

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

ah

[Music]

ah

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

so

so

[Music]

folks downtown came up to holland

everybody's trucking world it didn't

taste long

before

she died

she died

all the time you'd see them scuff

falling

[Music]

[Applause]

everybody

[Music]

[Applause]

man

so

[Music]

years go by the

[Music]

could walls

till dawn

then we part

but in my heart

[Music]

while the moon's above

for it's still the song

of love

[Music]

on

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Applause]

[Music]

well i never expected to see this day

dawn you're not seeing much of it at

that

what's that noise anyway roaches have

been keeping me awake all night the

boat's full of me

and baby fingers and ten baby toes

a mother is a boy's best friend after

all we're finally through sir oh good

[Music]

there's the colossal ahead sir

by the grace of bellows guardian angel

yeah if i left it to you it'll probably

land it up late to the get out of here

[Applause]

[Music]

why don't you smile darling you have

everything you want now the boat's

winning

money yes everything but you and that's

everything

[Music]

i've been dabbling you weren't afraid to

ask me before

he doesn't want me he doesn't want me he

wants clio

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you