Original subtitles

It's America's 250th birthday and our

It's America's 250th birthday and our

It's America's 250th birthday and our government is preserving this moment in

government is preserving this moment in

government is preserving this moment in a very special way.

a very special way.

a very special way. >> As part of the celebration, Congress has

>> As part of the celebration, Congress has

>> As part of the celebration, Congress has mandated the creation of a time capsule.

mandated the creation of a time capsule.

mandated the creation of a time capsule. The commission's chairwoman, Rosie Rios,

The commission's chairwoman, Rosie Rios,

The commission's chairwoman, Rosie Rios, says, quote, "We want future generations

says, quote, "We want future generations

says, quote, "We want future generations to have a clear, authentic window into

to have a clear, authentic window into

to have a clear, authentic window into who we were at 250." So, in 250 years,

who we were at 250." So, in 250 years,

who we were at 250." So, in 250 years, when future Americans open this time

when future Americans open this time

when future Americans open this time capsule, will they be jealous of the

capsule, will they be jealous of the

capsule, will they be jealous of the golden age we're currently living in?

golden age we're currently living in?

golden age we're currently living in? I'm asking present- day patriots what

I'm asking present- day patriots what

I'm asking present- day patriots what they think.

they think.

they think. >> Now, why is 2026 the best year in

>> Now, why is 2026 the best year in

>> Now, why is 2026 the best year in American history to preserve for future

American history to preserve for future

American history to preserve for future generations?

generations?

generations? >> Cuz it's it's not.

>> Cuz it's it's not.

>> Cuz it's it's not. >> Not really.

>> Not really.

>> Not really. >> Oh,

>> Oh,

>> Oh, >> well, I don't think it's the best year

>> well, I don't think it's the best year

>> well, I don't think it's the best year to preserve for future generations.

to preserve for future generations.

to preserve for future generations. >> I would say it's not the best. I'd say

>> I would say it's not the best. I'd say

>> I would say it's not the best. I'd say it's

it's

it's >> Did you see how 2026 started?

>> Did you see how 2026 started?

>> Did you see how 2026 started? >> Yes. Sandia released like nine movies.

>> Yes. Sandia released like nine movies.

>> Yes. Sandia released like nine movies. >> What do you think we can put into this

>> What do you think we can put into this

>> What do you think we can put into this time capsule that's representing America

time capsule that's representing America

time capsule that's representing America in 2026? The height of American society.

in 2026? The height of American society.

in 2026? The height of American society. >> I was thinking like a pile of

>> I was thinking like a pile of

>> I was thinking like a pile of maybe.

maybe.

maybe. >> I think if somebody went and took a

>> I think if somebody went and took a

>> I think if somebody went and took a right outside the White House, pick it

right outside the White House, pick it

right outside the White House, pick it up, put in a time capsule.

up, put in a time capsule.

up, put in a time capsule. >> Oh, that's gross. Surely people have

>> Oh, that's gross. Surely people have

>> Oh, that's gross. Surely people have more positive ideas and less feces based

more positive ideas and less feces based

more positive ideas and less feces based ones. What do you think we should put in

ones. What do you think we should put in

ones. What do you think we should put in this time capsule?

this time capsule?

this time capsule? >> Lena Dunham's new memoir. Lena Dunham's

>> Lena Dunham's new memoir. Lena Dunham's

>> Lena Dunham's new memoir. Lena Dunham's new memoir, Fameick.

new memoir, Fameick.

new memoir, Fameick. >> That That's a really good idea. The

>> That That's a really good idea. The

>> That That's a really good idea. The people of the future definitely need

people of the future definitely need

people of the future definitely need Lena Dunham's memoir, Fameick.

Lena Dunham's memoir, Fameick.

Lena Dunham's memoir, Fameick. >> There was a picture of a burning

>> There was a picture of a burning

>> There was a picture of a burning Cybertruck in front of Trump Tower. I

Cybertruck in front of Trump Tower. I

Cybertruck in front of Trump Tower. I figured that quite encapsulates a few

figured that quite encapsulates a few

figured that quite encapsulates a few things.

things.

things. >> What do you think is more important to

>> What do you think is more important to

>> What do you think is more important to put in the time capsule? This map that

put in the time capsule? This map that

put in the time capsule? This map that shows Canada, Greenland, and Cuba still

shows Canada, Greenland, and Cuba still

shows Canada, Greenland, and Cuba still as independent countries, or this Labu?

as independent countries, or this Labu?

as independent countries, or this Labu? >> This map right here.

>> This map right here.

>> This map right here. >> Yeah. Cuz we don't know in 250 years if

>> Yeah. Cuz we don't know in 250 years if

>> Yeah. Cuz we don't know in 250 years if they're still going to be independent.

they're still going to be independent.

they're still going to be independent. >> Well, we don't know if they're still

>> Well, we don't know if they're still

>> Well, we don't know if they're still going to be independent in 250 minutes.

going to be independent in 250 minutes.

going to be independent in 250 minutes. >> That's true. The boo boos are forever.

>> That's true. The boo boos are forever.

>> That's true. The boo boos are forever. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. >> All the pessimism on the streets was

>> All the pessimism on the streets was

>> All the pessimism on the streets was starting to get to me and soon I found

starting to get to me and soon I found

starting to get to me and soon I found myself drinking the Gatorade.

myself drinking the Gatorade.

myself drinking the Gatorade. >> Is there an item that you think

>> Is there an item that you think

>> Is there an item that you think represents America that you would put in

represents America that you would put in

represents America that you would put in the time capsule?

the time capsule?

the time capsule? >> I'm a teacher elementary. So,

>> I'm a teacher elementary. So,

>> I'm a teacher elementary. So, >> a children's book.

>> a children's book.

>> a children's book. >> It's funny that you think children might

>> It's funny that you think children might

>> It's funny that you think children might know how to read in 250 years.

know how to read in 250 years.

know how to read in 250 years. >> I've already lost cursive. What are some

>> I've already lost cursive. What are some

>> I've already lost cursive. What are some other items maybe even from the Trump

other items maybe even from the Trump

other items maybe even from the Trump era that could go in there? Do you think

era that could go in there? Do you think

era that could go in there? Do you think RFK Jr.'s brainworm would survive in

RFK Jr.'s brainworm would survive in

RFK Jr.'s brainworm would survive in there?

there?

there? >> I do.

>> I do.

>> I do. I want a voice memo of him speaking just

I want a voice memo of him speaking just

I want a voice memo of him speaking just in general in there.

in general in there.

in general in there. >> Do you think people in the future would

>> Do you think people in the future would

>> Do you think people in the future would know that that's a human speaking?

know that that's a human speaking?

know that that's a human speaking? >> No.

>> No.

>> No. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> No.

>> No.

>> No. >> I know what I would put in the time

>> I know what I would put in the time

>> I know what I would put in the time capsule. I would put this.

capsule. I would put this.

capsule. I would put this. >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. >> But I would also put this

>> But I would also put this

>> But I would also put this >> to show that I have range.

>> to show that I have range.

>> to show that I have range. >> Looks like RFK's ringorm is like in your

>> Looks like RFK's ringorm is like in your

>> Looks like RFK's ringorm is like in your brain.

brain.

brain. >> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you. >> But in 250 years, who will even be

>> But in 250 years, who will even be

>> But in 250 years, who will even be around to pull these head shot from the

around to pull these head shot from the

around to pull these head shot from the time capsule? I don't know if there's

time capsule? I don't know if there's

time capsule? I don't know if there's going to be like a civilization to to

going to be like a civilization to to

going to be like a civilization to to access it.

access it.

access it. >> They're probably wearing hazmat suits

>> They're probably wearing hazmat suits

>> They're probably wearing hazmat suits and you know,

and you know,

and you know, >> I mean, let's be honest, they'll

>> I mean, let's be honest, they'll

>> I mean, let's be honest, they'll probably bust this thing open in 65

probably bust this thing open in 65

probably bust this thing open in 65 years in desperate search for food. What

years in desperate search for food. What

years in desperate search for food. What do you think America is going to look

do you think America is going to look

do you think America is going to look like in 250 years?

like in 250 years?

like in 250 years? >> Oh my god, they should split America in

>> Oh my god, they should split America in

>> Oh my god, they should split America in two.

two.

two. >> We should segregate again. I mean, let's

>> We should segregate again. I mean, let's

>> We should segregate again. I mean, let's face it, in 250 years, America might be

face it, in 250 years, America might be

face it, in 250 years, America might be a desolate wasteland. So, maybe we

a desolate wasteland. So, maybe we

a desolate wasteland. So, maybe we should put some like survival gear in

should put some like survival gear in

should put some like survival gear in this time capsule. Maybe fresh water,

this time capsule. Maybe fresh water,

this time capsule. Maybe fresh water, granola bars, a gun with a single

granola bars, a gun with a single

granola bars, a gun with a single bullet. Off the top of my head,

bullet. Off the top of my head,

bullet. Off the top of my head, >> I'm an optimist

>> I'm an optimist

>> I'm an optimist >> and I used to be. Clearly, the best

>> and I used to be. Clearly, the best

>> and I used to be. Clearly, the best thing to put in this time capsule is an

thing to put in this time capsule is an

thing to put in this time capsule is an apology letter for the state we left the

apology letter for the state we left the

apology letter for the state we left the country in. Maybe we can all write it

country in. Maybe we can all write it

country in. Maybe we can all write it together. Dear future Americans/

together. Dear future Americans/

together. Dear future Americans/ potential Chinese/ potential Russian

potential Chinese/ potential Russian

potential Chinese/ potential Russian citizens. We're sorry that we made

citizens. We're sorry that we made

citizens. We're sorry that we made mistakes.

mistakes.

mistakes. >> Yes. And I'm sorry that I have only

>> Yes. And I'm sorry that I have only

>> Yes. And I'm sorry that I have only attended two no kings rallies so far. We

attended two no kings rallies so far. We

attended two no kings rallies so far. We used to have trees. Hopefully, you still

used to have trees. Hopefully, you still

used to have trees. Hopefully, you still have them, but if you don't, we're

have them, but if you don't, we're

have them, but if you don't, we're sorry. That was on us.

sorry. That was on us.

sorry. That was on us. >> We're sorry for not understanding each

>> We're sorry for not understanding each

>> We're sorry for not understanding each other well.

other well.

other well. >> I'm sorry that my Zoloft prevents me

>> I'm sorry that my Zoloft prevents me

>> I'm sorry that my Zoloft prevents me from making active change.

from making active change.

from making active change. >> Honestly,

>> Honestly,

>> Honestly, >> honestly,

>> honestly,

>> honestly, >> I just want to say good luck because

>> I just want to say good luck because

>> I just want to say good luck because y'all are going to need it.

y'all are going to need it.

y'all are going to need it. >> Things can get better.

>> Things can get better.

>> Things can get better. >> Things can get better. We're not

>> Things can get better. We're not

>> Things can get better. We're not responsible for any of those things, but

responsible for any of those things, but

responsible for any of those things, but >> we may have made things worse, but

>> we may have made things worse, but

>> we may have made things worse, but >> All right. So, how should we sign this?

>> All right. So, how should we sign this?

>> All right. So, how should we sign this? >> Regretfully.

>> Regretfully.

>> Regretfully. >> Regretfully, Americans of 2026. Our bad.