All language subtitles for Fresh.off.the.boat.S02E20.FLEET.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

That's what you're eating for breakfast?
Beef jerky?

You've been chewing that
piece for six minutes.

Eddie! What happened?!

I don't know. I was just making
a Pop-Tart bagel sandwich.

The Pop-Tarts were the bread,
and the bagel was the meat.

Can somebody in this family

just have a normal breakfast?

Bite of jackfruit?

No, thank you.

That toaster was on its way out.
We need new one, anyway.

Yes! Are we going to Sears?

They have the best
men's fragrance section.

No, we'll just go to the bank.

They give you a free toaster
when you open a new account.

But we both already have accounts.

So we'll get one of
the boys a new account.

It's funny.
You never know when the moment

you've been waiting for
will finally arrive.

FDIC-insured, here I come.

Okay. So, Evan, we'll open you

a free-toaster checking account.

Yo, where did you get all that cash?

I haven't bought candy in three years.

That's why you're my favorite.

I know.

S02E20
Hi, My Name Is...

sync and corrected by ninh
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Let's do some banking.

Why do we all have to be here?

'Cause we're a family.
We do things together.

Remember when we all went
to buy your basketball?

That was a long day.

Each one has its own signature bounce.

_

_

I'll be signing my first
official documents.

I've been practicing all morning.

Evan.

It just flows. I'm so glad it's my name.

- It really suits you.
- It does, doesn't it?

It's perfect for me.

Which is good
'cause it was totally random.

What do you mean?

Well,
both of your brothers had "E" names,

so we knew we wanted yours to start with
"E," too.

We were at the hospital,
and there it was on a name tag...

Nurse Evans.

What?

She was the nurse who delivered you.

Uh, no,
she was the nurse who checked us out.

Doesn't matter...
We know she wasn't the doctor.

Hi there. I'm Frank.
How can I help you folks?

We're going to be opening
him a free-toaster account.

Ah, our most popular account.
Right this way.

You brought along the whole crew, huh?

Apparently, that's how we do it, Frank.

So, what is the lucky new
account holder's name?

His name is Nurse Evans.

My name is random?

I thought you picked "Evan" just for me.

I thought you looked
into my little baby eyes

and knew I was an Evan.

But I could have been anything.

It's not a big deal.
Names are meaningless.

Did I ever tell you the
story of how I got my name?

Me and my family had
just moved to the U.S.

♪ Lord, I was born a ramblin' man ♪

Your parents must be so proud.

Hi, sister.

_

Nice robe.

_

- Whose name is that?
- _

I decided my American name
is going to be... Connie.

_

Well, I'm going to keep my Chinese name.

_

I respect your choice.

_

I was starting my
freshman year at Maryland.

Welcome to freshman orientation.

Let's go around the room,
and everyone introduce themselves.

Hi, I'm Honey St. Claire.

Wait a second.

Honey, Marvin, and Deidre
didn't go to college with you.

Whatever, it doesn't matter.
All white people look the same.

Hello. I'm Chu Tsai Hsia.

Choo Tie Sa?

Chu Tsai Hsia.

Choo Sigh Ta.

Chu Tsai Hsia.

Choo Tie Chi-ah?

- Chu...
- What does it mean?

Colorful sunset glow.

That is beautiful.

Maybe we can call you "Glow,"
which everyone can pronounce.

But that's not my name.

Hey, a nickname's a great idea, though.

I don't want to brag,
but I'm the official

nickname giver on my lacrosse team.

- That's okay. I wanted...
- How about, uh, Mitsy?

Koko? Skags?

Moose.

Moose.

Yeah, Moose, huh?

That guy never stopped
giving me nicknames.

Skooter, Toto, Bubba.

But I wanted to keep my Chinese name.

So, how did you get the name Jessica.

Because of something that happened

in one of my business classes.

So, today,
we're gonna be talking about...

Butt Juice?

Actually, it's pronounced
Butte Juice with a long "U."

Named after the town it was
produced in... Butte, Montana.

Looks like Butt Juice to me.

And you're making my point for me.

Butte Juice was almost a failure

because outside Montana,
people pronounced it wrong.

Luckily someone had the
foresight to change it,

and they turned the company around.

Can anyone tell me what
Butte Juice became?

Carol-Joan?

Uh... Tab?

Close.

Butte Juice became the fruit
drink sensation known as...

Geyser Mist. Huh.

And what business principle
does this illustrate?

Honey?

Are we in? Did we start?

That's right... branding.

Now, branding is a key component...

Excuse me? Professor Roberts?

Why do you never call on me?

Well, it's a big class.
I probably just didn't see you.

I sit in the front.

Today you called on sleepy
Honey all the way in the back.

Okay, the truth is,
I can't pronounce your name.

You can learn how to pronounce it.

Are you really gonna have this
conversation with everyone you meet?

With everyone who reads you résumé?

It's my name.
People should learn how to say it.

Yes, but they probably won't.
It's like Butte Juice.

It was always delicious,

but people didn't know that
till it became Geyser Mist.

It was the same drink.

It just went by a different name.

That's what made it successful.

That is so funny.
I don't know about you guys,

but I'd drink the heck
out of some Butt Juice.

That professor was a jerk,
but he had a point.

Why was I being stubborn

and making it harder than it
already was in a new country?

I wasn't losing my identity.

I still had my Chinese name,
but by giving myself

a name that was easier
for people pronounce,

I was opening the door
to more opportunity.

So, can anyone tell me

the benefit for
above-competition pricing

for a product looking to
break into the marketplace?

Yes? Bob?

"Bob"?

It was my favorite haircut.

I didn't realize it was also
the most popular male name.

I changed it after a week.

You still haven't told us
how you got the name Jessica.

Oh,
from the Allman Brothers song "Jessica."

You know I love country
jam-rock instrumentals.

Uh, Jessica, I think if you
were trying to convince Evan

that names aren't a big deal,

that maybe wasn't the best story.

No, it wasn't.

Deciding what name to sign

is even more important than I thought.

I mean, should I use my Chinese name,
Chih Fu?

Shoo Foo?

- Chih Fu.
- Seafood?

Yes, Frank, that's my name... Seafood.

We don't have time for this.

My name is about to be
officially entered into record.

Do I use my American nurse name

or my Chinese name that will
cause me endless struggle?

Hey!

_

Do you know her?

No.

O-kay.

I'm just gonna leave this
form here while you decide

what name you want to
open the account under.

"Sure, Lauren, I'll take your shift.

Nothing much happens at
the bank on a Saturday."

I only practiced signing Evan Huang,

so maybe I stick with that.

Or do I go with Chih Fu Huang?

But cursive F's are so hard.

Dude,
we're just trying to get a toaster.

So they picked the name Evan at random?
So what?

Eddie and Emery's names
were just as random.

It's true. I thought of Emery's name

while I was filing my
nails on an emery board.

I have chills.

And Eddie was named
after the child villain

in "The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe,"

who betrayed his siblings
for some Turkish delight.

I don't know what Turkish delight is,
but I'd do it again.

They're not the ones
about to sign their name

to their first official
document for all of time.

You want to know how unimportant
and random the name Louis is?

Basically, I loved Lou Ferrigno
and the Incredible Hulk.

Stay angry, Lou!

Lou, Louis. Simple as that.

Okay, yeah.
That does make me feel a little better.

But wait. You hate the Incredible Hulk.

- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you do.

Remember?
I was trying to buy that comic book,

and you said he was the
worst superhero ever

because all he does is get mad.

You said, "That's not superpower.

That's a character flaw."

Eddie, I'm just trying to
make your brother feel better

with a simple story
of how I got my name.

Wait. Is that not the real story?

No.

The real story is more complicated.

It was 1981.

I just arrived in the States,
and I didn't know how anything worked.

I answered a roommate ad,
which is how I met your uncle Barry,

who got me a job as a busboy in a diner.

Hey, Hong. It's Huang.

Hong, Huang, it don't matter.

It is important to make clear

that Barry is no one
in this family's uncle.

He's a bum.

Continue.

I'm gonna give you some of
Barry's secrets of the trade.

When I walk around
and I see French fries

uneaten and untouched,
I put them in a little baggie

and put them back in my bin.

When I get home, I put them on
a plate with my regular food.

Mm! Smart.

Hey, uh, Barry? Who's that guy?

He looks like a gangster.

He's a gangster, all right.

That's Louis. He owns the aquarium.

He's what we call a fish boss.

Fish boss?

Bloop, bloop, bloop.

Bloop, bloop, bloop.

Yeah.

What is that... Bloop, bloop?

Oh, that's the bubbles coming...

- Fish, water.
- I-I get it, I get it. I get it.

He looks like he has it all figured out.

He hasn't figured out
how refill his own water.

Go get him.

Uh, more water?

Water? Water?!
I got plenty of water, kid.

I traffic in water.

But, yeah, I'll take some water.

That guy had it together.
He even ordered cool.

"Patty melt... Real cheesy."

Onions or no onions?

Extra onions.

Emery gets it.

So, I borrowed his style.

Changing my look gave me
confidence and swagger.

It made me feel like I
was gonna be okay here.

How great is this?

All you-can-eat seafood
medley for $4.99.

I'm never leaving.

Does you food have a
metallic aftertaste?

I don't know.
I'm eating so fast, I can't taste it.

Would guys like some more water?

I got plenty of water, kid.

Oh, my gosh. I don't what I'm
gonna do with myself here.

I'm in heaven.

Ugh.

This octopus po'
boy is not sitting well.

I'll be back.

Apparently, the medley had
taken down half the restaurant,

and they only had one unisex bathroom.

I was finally on deck

when I saw the prettiest
girl I'd ever seen.

Uh, you, uh, eat the po' boy, too?

And some shrimpy nuggets.

Ohh...

You, uh, like nuggets, woman?

I know a great nugget spot...

Can I cut in front of you?

Ooh, that's a big ask.

Here's an even bigger one.

You, me, nuggets, Saturday.

I think there's been a misunderstanding.

I don't like nuggets.

That's fine.

Never nuggets or no nuggets now?

I'll give you my number.

On the way out. Okay.

I'll be here.

What's your name?

Louis.

I'm Jessica.

Oh...

Jessica...

Isn't it amazing?

That restaurant is still open.

Shocking.

Anyway, that was the first
time I ever used my name.

And now that your mom knew me as Louis,

I didn't want to be
known as anything else.

Sounds like the opposite
of unimportant and random

to me, Louis.

_

_

Was that it?

You never saw the
aquarium gangster again?

Oh, I saw him again.

I ate the shells.

What?!

You're the busboy from the diner.

You copied my look.

No, I didn't.

What's your name?

My name? Oh. Louis.

That's my name. There's only
room for one Louis around here.

Look, I'm sorry,

but I just told a beautiful
woman with food poisoning

that Louis is my name,

and I'm not gonna have
her think I'm a liar.

Oh.

Uh... Barry?

Uh, Barry?

Barry.

So we decided to fight for the name.

Damn, bro! What are those? Tentacles?

Guess I didn't get all the octopus out.

That's disgusting.
And I work at an aquarium.

Well, I work in...

Ugh! Ugh.

Take the name. You can have it.
I don't want it.

Nasty.

You've always been an intense vomiter.

Remember that time you ate
that entire gingerbread house?

Those gumdrops came out like bullets.

Okay. You decide who you are yet?

No. Mom chose the name Jessica,
and it changed her life.

Dad chose the name Louis,
and it changed his life.

What I choose today
could change my life.

What if I told you there
was a third option?

Is the third option

going to a store and
just buying a toaster?

So, what's the third option?

Little bro, you can have the
name your parents give you,

the name the culture gives you,

or the name the streets give you.

Meadowridge Lane?

No, not the name of your street.

Your name from the streets.

Calvin Broadus became Snoop Dogg.

O'Shea Jackson became Ice Cube.

Reginald Dwight became Elton John.

That's what I'm gonna do.

When I take over multiple industries

and become a business mogul,

I'm gonna earn myself a dope-ass name.

There is no world, real or imaginary,

where you will ever have a face tattoo.

Topaz, your Pop-Tagel is ready.

The bagel is the meat.

Also,
the President is on the line for you.

'Sup, President Shaq?

Topaz, I'm calling to thank you.

When you promised me Army uniforms

that not only could
the soldiers fight in

but also dance in, I was skeptical,

but you delivered.

Got the idea when I dropped
my G.I. Joe into some crayons.

We still on for golf Wednesday?

You know it.
Is Vice President Barkley coming?

Of course... Somebody
got to carry the bags.

- Ohhhh!
- Ohhhh!

Sorry about the interruption.
What were you saying again?

I said I really wasn't feeling too good

about this concert that you want
me to do for you on the moon.

They ain't got no air up there, bro.

Listen to me, Busta Rhymes.

People expect greatness
from Topaz Industries.

That's what my name means,
and that's what I expect from you.

When my father died after
swallowing all those buttons,

I didn't take over his
steakhouse and turn it into

the number-one hip-hop label/
clothing line/multimedia empire

to play it safe.

They ain't got no air up there! None!

How I'm supposed to
rap with a helmet on?

Where all this dread gonna go?

I'll design the helmet.
You just write the songs.

Okay.

Topaz? Really?

It's my birthstone, dawg.

It's the worst stone.

It really is.

I died from swallowing buttons?

None of your stories have been any help,

especially not yours, Topaz.

Hey, I don't care what y'all say...

That name is hella cool.

I need to go splash some water
on my face, clear my head.

"Moon Rock Festival."

What?

You could call it the
Moon Rock Festival...

If you have a concert on the moon.

Hmm.

Oh, sorry. The door wasn't...

_

You probably think I
should use my Chinese name.

_

_

Let me guess...
You have a long, unhelpful story

about how you chose your name.

_

_

So, what do you think I should do?

_

_

_

What do you mean?

_

_

_

_

Thanks, Grandma.

Yeah, so, our insurance
actually isn't too bad here.

You know,
they cover six doctor's visits a year,

plus the colonoscopy that I
was supposed to have today

and had to reschedule,
even though I drank

- all that magnesium.
- I've made my decision.

- Oh.
- Finally.

- Thank God.
- I'm dying!

Congrats.

Mnh-mnh.

Look at it...
even the temporary checks are beautiful.

- I definitely saw that coming.
- Me too.

Here, Mom. Use this to buy a new one.

It's my treat.
I wrote "Toast" in the memo.

After all that,
you can't even tell what name he chose.

His signature's illegible.

It's the signature of a doctor.

Doesn't matter what name he chose.

Everyone will call him Dr. Huang.

And what name would you like
to put your library card under?

- Jenny.
- Mm.

Perfect. That's all I need.

Welcome to the D.C
Public Library system, Jenny.

I'll see you back in five days
when the books are due.

_

_

Okay.

Have a great day.

Bye, Jenny.

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