Original subtitles

(birds softly chirping)

(cars softly rustling)

(horn honking)

(dog softly barking)

- [Lance] He can be a pain but I've never had

to fight with him for anything.

(dog barking)

- She had the kids walking on the side of the pool,

on the top side of the pool on the railings

and I got mad about it.

- [Officer] Were you guys in the pool together,

the two of you? - No not me.

She was in there with the kids.

And she kept letting 'em jump off the side,

and off the ladder, I said, that's not safe.

And she got mad about it.

Now, if you want to call her daughter,

her daughter should be home right now.

That's their mother, the kids mother,

you can call her up and ask her right now.

- [Officer] Okay we'll call them and talk to them too.

For right now she's saying that you slapped her,

so you're gonna have to sit in my car until I call them

and confirm what happened.

- [Lance] Now why do you always take the women's word?

- When it comes to domestic violence,

if somebody says violence happened then,

that's what happened.

- Well ask her daughter, her younger daughter.

- I said I'm gonna call them.

But for now-- - No her younger daughter,

right there.

- [Officer] We'll talk to her.

- Come on, we'll talk to her too, come on let's have a seat.

- [Officer] Have a seat, Lance.

- I ain't believing you again.

I knew I should have never moved back

into this house when you told me to.

She's got my money and my license and everything.

- We'll get that for you just have a seat.

- And my glasses. - Just have a seat.

- [Lance] I aint believing you.

- You need to learn your lesson and move in

with somebody else if this stuff happens all the time.

If she says you hit her, then you hit her,

that's all there is to it.

- [Lance] How can it?

- When it comes to domestic violence that's the way it is.

- [Lance] How many times do you think she stabbed me?

- Well did you call us when that happened?

Scoot down the other side, you'll get more air.

- My father let him, I rent this room right over here.

So yesterday, last night, me and him,

he moved in, well we slept together the last night.

But he can't handle my grandkids.

He can't handle any goddamn kids,

he can't handle anybody but his beer and cigarettes.

- [Officer] Okay so what happened today that caused him to--

- When my grandkids come over.

That's when he went ballistics.

- [Officer] Okay what did he do, what exactly was going on?

- He copped an attitude with,

me and my daughter and my three grandkids in the pool.

He copped an attitude sit over there with a copy attitude,

and then he turned around, he finally got in the pool.

- [Officer] He hit you in the head

in the pool? - He dumped me.

This is what he did to me, he dumped me like that.

- [Officer] Are you okay, do you need any--

- No, I'm fine, and he--

- [Officer] He do anything else to you?

- No, he nearly bit my hand off.

- [Officer] Was that today?

- No, this was a couple weeks ago

and you can get a police report on that,

that he was out here a couple of weeks ago,

he tried to bite my whole--

- [Officer] We're trying to figure out what happened today.

- He's jealous of my grandkids.

- [Officer] Okay.

- He doesn't want me to babysit.

- [Officer] I understand, you already told us.

- Well, that's the whole problem.

See, I don't have wallet or nothin'.

I have names that when we've been together.

He hides everything anymore.

This thing's from when we used to live in Georgia

when he used to get drunk and pass out.

We'd carry him in, this is when we had a good life together.

- And how long you been living here in Florida now?

- Almost three years.

- [Officer] Okay.

- I love him, but I don't wanna see him get hurt, you know?

But he needs to let me go and face,

tell the truth that it's over

instead of live on my social security too,

and living here free with my dad.

- [Officer] Right, okay.

- He doesn't, he can't handle kids.

First of all, his...

He just pictures of his two kids

and his youngest, his daughter's married

to a black guy and got three,

and he can't handle the--

- [Officer] The racial aspect of it?

- Yeah, yeah, it just blows his mind.

- [Officer] Okay.

- Okay.

- [Officer] Well, it's a different world today.

- Yeah, but tell him that.

- [Officer] Well.

- So, I don't know.

I just got a lot of problems.

I don't need to live here.

Not when my dad'll let him rent a room

'cause we can't live together here.

- [Officer] Right.

- It's violent 'cause I'm gonna end up...

I don't know, I try--

- [Officer] Somebody could get hurt.

- I am a nice person, I will, I will, I will, yes.

I will, I will.

- Well, before it gets to that point,

call us again like you did today

and we can come out and try to solve it.

Hopefully he won't be living here.

- But my dad needs to let him go.

- I know, and hopefully, that's why I say hopefully,

he won't be living here-- - 'Cause I'm telling you,

I will, I will kill him.

I'll cut his throat.

And he's not worth me going to jail over, but I will.

- Well, I say call The Spring,

talk to them so maybe they can give you some more options.

In the meantime, he'll go to jail tonight

and he'll have to see the judge in the morning.

And see what the judge wants to do,

whether he's gonna send him back or not.

If you get the injunction,

then your dad can't even let him stay here.

Right?

- I don't know, I don't understand any of--

- Well, that's what I'm saying,

if you go ahead and get the injunction,

which is what the domestic violence pamphlet is about,

then irregardless of what happens with your dad,

the judge is gonna grant you an injunction

that says he's got basically two hours

to pack what few belongings he actually own

and send him on his way.

And then if he comes back--

- Well see, he's been lying, see,

he's been gettin' unemployment,

and my dad said two weeks ago,

right before Memorial Weekend,

that all of a sudden, today, Raphael got here,

I said, "Well, you owe my dad $40

"for the rent for next week."

He said, "I got that money covered."

So, where is it, you know?

Then all a sudden he was telling my daughter yesterday

he don't got no money but 6 bucks.

- [Officer] I don't know nothin' about that.

- Well, you know,

all I know is...

He's gonna push me to my limit.

- [Officer] Well, before you reach that limit,

if you get the injunction, you won't have to go there.

- No, he cannot beat me.

- [Officer] I know.

- He can't.

- [Officer] And with the injunction,

it keeps him away from here,

irregardless of what your father says.

- Tell that to the police a couple months ago

when he, I locked him out a couple months ago

and he beat my arm up, I had bruises,

and I was laying in my dad's room and I told--

They asked me what happened to me, so I lied.

But I don't want nothin' to happen to him

but he just need to let me go.

- Right.

Okay, alright, let me walk out of here

and see what we're gonna do

and they'll go ahead and take him down to booking, alright?

Call us.

- [Lance] I didn't touch you!

You were mad because Janet wouldn't let you babysit.

- No, you--

- [Lance] And I told you not to let them kids walk

on top of that pool. - That's not the truth, Lance.

- [Lance] While you're waiting for Janet

to get home and call and find out.

- Well, Heather can verify that you dumped me.

- [Lance] Well, that's what I want.

- Yeah, then, good.

- [Lance] Because, and I want my money

because I'm (mumbles off mic) - I don't have your money.

You know, you're a sick bit!

- [Lance] I'm sick?

You're a crack addict. - Okay, that's enough.

(dog softly barking)

(radio beeps) (muffled radio voice)

- [Officer] Do you wanna press charges?

- He went to the crisis center Friday,

that's all I found out.

This is what I found out with my other son.

- [Officer] How long has it been since you spoke

to this child?

- Just a few minutes ago, he had--

- [Officer] No, before this.

- I spoke to him today, I called because I found out that,

I was going to a party, I didn't know about him going

to the crisis center, I said, "I'm going to a party,

"would you like to go with me?"

And he said no.

- [Officer] Do you all have like a mother-son relationship?

Do you talk to him on a weekly basis, or a monthly basis,

or what is it? - I talk with him,

but it was a very bitter divorce, his father--

- [Officer] Now, you told me about that--

- We didn't have no-- - What is the relationship,

I'm asking you, between you and your son?

- The relationship is that...

I thought we had an okay relationship

because he would come, you know, I'd let him spend the night

but every time he would come, he would do destructive things

like he would light candles, set the fireplace,

you know, light the fireplace.

Little things to get my attention.

- [Officer] Right.

- When he goes to school, every school he goes to,

he's thrown out.

He will be on detention every week, you know?

- [Officer] He lives with his father?

- Yeah, and then--

- [Officer] His father has all the legal custody

of him, huh? - Right, but the school

suggested to him that he take him,

I think about a month ago, to a psychiatrist,

or a psychologist, and he did.

- [Officer] Okay.

- And from what I understand,

he took himself to the crisis center Friday.

I think his father believes in the old fashioned way

of spank, you know.

- [Officer] Right.

- So, maybe Thursday night, he stayed out too late

and his father got mad, and Friday,

he admitted himself, took himself to the crisis center.

- I want you to understand now what he has done over here.

There is, he just basically destroyed

some of your property, okay?

- [Woman] Yes.

- Which is a misdemeanor, it's criminal mischief.

Now, I'm leaving it up to you

whether or not you wanna prosecute him

for breaking your table, in other words,

you're gonna have to court, testify against him

for what he has done to try to have him

basically found guilty of criminal mischief.

There's not gonna be a whole lot done to him,

he's a 13-year-old kid.

- I just wanna get him some help, sir.

- [Officer] I understand that,

and I'd like to get him some help.

I mean, unfortunately, when children are suffering

from some mental problems,

I wish there was a whole more programs than what we have.

He has been speaking to a psychologist, that's correct?

- [Woman] Apparently, he went to the crisis center Friday--

- Good.

- [Woman] But I don't know what happened there,

I have no idea. - Okay.

- Okay.

- [Woman] I only found that out from my son

that's in the hospital. - Right.

- [Officer] Do you expect him to come back here today?

- Lord, I don't know, this morning I woke up,

I don't know, sir, I really don't.

I went off for, I left him here, for over two hours

and said, "I'm goin' to to the party.

"If you want to go, you're welcome to go."

No, I offered him some money I don't want back.

- Well, let me make a suggestion.

If you don't wanna prosecute him for breaking your table

and throwing some of the things around

in the backyard and doing that,

then what I would suggest to do is that

if he comes back here today, just don't confront him,

just call us and I'll come back here and I'll evaluate him.

If I see that he is suffering from some type

of mental problems and I don't think

that he can help himself,

then what I'll do is I'll Baker Act him,

and that way, for three days,

it'll hold him down there and evaluate him again.

- [Officer] Try getting him some help.

- But I told him if he broke anything else

that I was gonna take his bicycle away from him, okay?

And he picked up that crowbar at me, okay?

The thing that comes out, what is that thing?

The steel things that come out of the fence?

- [Officer] Where were y'all at

right when this happened? - Right there

in the front yard and he said,

I mean, he threatened me,

that's why I know something's wrong, okay?

Now, my husband has told the child that I don't want him,

that I, you know, but basically,

I gave the child up because I couldn't do anything with him

and I was ill, I had had a bad accident,

and I was getting well, so I couldn't do anything with him.

I mean, he would slip out the house 10 o'clock at night,

leave the door wide open.

- [Officer] When was this?

So we can go over the paperwork.

- When I had him, December '96.

- [Officer] So, '96--

- So, he's had him, I have a copy of the court order too.

- [Officer] Okay, that's fine, '96 is

when he took control of custody--

- Right, and then I paid all the insurance premiums

and everything because I was paying for everything anyway.

- Right, well here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna try to make contact with your son.

I'm gonna evaluate him, if I feel like

that he's a hard to himself or he cannot care for himself,

what I'll do is I'll Baker Act him,

it's called A Mental Health Act, okay?

- Okay, I call the psychologist already,

and I talked with him, and...

I talked to the school counselor one day

and she said they couldn't do anything with him at all.

- [Officer] Well, if he comes back here,

if he comes back here today, don't confront him,

just calmly-- - I'm not gonna confront him,

I'm gonna sit in the house.

- [Officer] Call me, I'll come back,

and then we'll go from there, okay?

- Yeah, listen, he needs help.

- [Officer] I'm sure he does,

I'm sure he does. - Please, help him.

- [Officer] And that's what we'd like to get him,

some help, okay? - Yeah.

- [Officer] Okay.

- And you know, please understand this,

I want you to know this, I wanna clarify this with you.

I don't get along with that family, it's a family thing,

I don't get along with their family.

So, his father's not gonna say very nice things

about me, okay, alright?

- [Officer] Right.

- But...

I have proof, my own proof, that the child apparently,

he's too big to be spanked I think, you know?

- [Officer] Right.

- I don't know whether he was afraid to go home or what.

- You know, I'm not gonna sit down

with everybody and discuss the issue of discipline's--

- [2nd Officer] Discipline's good or bad,

we're not gonna do that. - 'Cause it's your children.

- [Woman] Well, I think the school already did it.

- Did they?

- [Woman] He goes to Buchanan.

- [2nd Officer] Right.

- [Woman] So, you can contact Buchanan.

I'm sure they can give you a lead.

- Okay, what I'll do is if I find him,

I'll call you and let you know what I've done

and if I don't find him-- - See, I'm afraid,

because he threatens.

I mean, he threatened me. - Okay, well then--

- Well, he threatened himself. - Right, okay.

- I ain't worried about me. - Right.

- I'm worried about him.

- Well, that's why I wanna talk to him.

- Okay. - You know, that's why

I wanna find out if that's the case,

and I'll get him some help, okay?

- Please help him, yeah. - Okay.

- Thank you, ma'am. - I'll get this shut

some kind of way and I'll get the air-conditioning unit.

I just need to know how to get the stuff out of the unit.

(cars softly rustling)

- [Brenda] Is it gonna hurt me?

(radio voice muffling)

- [Officer] Is she gonna take the ride?

- I don't know, I don't know, we're still talking.

(radio voice muffling) How bad are we cut?

We got a lot of blood, but how bad is--

- Just a slit in her cheek

right here. - You got a good slit

on her up there? - About 2.5, three inches

on her cheek, where her teeth came through her cheek.

- Okay. - My shoulder hurts more

than my (mumbles) and I got a split lip.

Made sure I can feel it.

That motherfucker's bleedin' bad, pardon my French.

This thing is bad, isn't it?

I can feel it.

(man softly talks off mic)

- [Man] Don't touch it.

- No, I can feel it, it's cut wide open.

- [Man] Oh, I know, I know, but it's not bleeding out.

- [Paramedic] Sit up, okay.

- All the blood all the way down the leg is from that.

- I don't know, 'cause it looks like she was sitting

over there next door in a pool on the floor.

- Okay.

- She sat over here a while too,

she get up and ran over here.

- Okay.

- Or he didn't make her sit up over there,

holding her mouth and choke her, she says.

- Okay.

- [Brenda] My neck, my neck's bleeding, it looks worse than

it is, right, guys? - Well, I can believe that,

there is a bunch of blood there, you're right.

- [Brenda] It looks worse than it is, right?

- By the time I got there, he was holding and choking her,

and make her stay there 'til he'd get tired.

- [Brenda] I know that, I know that.

- So these two have been getting along forever then, right?

- Oh, y'all made constant arrests here.

You know (mumbles) he'd been locked up.

- [Officer] I've dealt with him

on several occasions. - Six or seven times.

- [Officer] Craig, I'm sure you've dealt with him.

- I didn't even see him. - A lot of times,

she don't call the cops on her life for him.

- [Brenda] No, it's killing me.

- She'd never go to court against him,

never said nothing against me.

- [Officer] So, we've been here six or eight times

and she never goes to court?

- Uh-huh, and they'll tell her to write down

that one time said, if I come home,

lock 'em both for you up again.

So, she was telling the truth.

- [Brenda] My shoulders are killing me.

- [Officer] I've dealt with him about three or four times.

- Yeah, he knows, he knows.

- Okay, I've been here, but it's not been real recent.

Okay.

- [Neighbor] So much stuff be happening in this neighborhood

and they cover it up.

- Why did she do this, you reckon?

- Alcoholic.

- [Officer] Him and her both?

- When he get drunk, he just lose his mind.

- [Officer] Okay.

- And there it is.

- [Brenda] My shoulder is killing me.

- A lot of times, he'd come over here,

and I used to make him go home.

I'd say I don't want my stuff broke

'cause he came and broke up my stuff one time.

(Brenda talking off mic)

He just can't handle the alcohol,

he don't know how drink socially.

They got a lot of people like that

and this a bad neighborhood because--

(Brenda softly mumbling) Real bad neighborhood.

- [Brenda] I need a cigarette.

- [Paramedic] No, hey, you can't smoke.

- There's drugs been around here, marijuana, prostitution,

robbery, rape, everything happens around here.

(softly beeps) - [Officer] What's up man?

- You can't keep the neighborhood clean from filth.

In the good old, we had ride-ins

that's pulled us in this area,

they always changing 'em out for more

because they don't know the area.

- [Brenda] My shoulders killing me.

- [Officer] Oh, they learn real quick, though.

- I wish their crew put some through here ready, same 24.

We need it, they got these bicycle riders,

they walk all day, tuck drugs all

in the underwears and sell.

- [Brenda] My shoulder's killing me.

- [Officer] You know, you're right.

- [Neighbor] We're like dogs risking our lives, we got kids.

- [Officer] That's 47.

- [Neighbor] And when they see you come,

they oughta be private-- - I've been right here since--

- [Neighbor] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

- [Officer] Since 1984 in this area.

- [Neighbor] Yeah, but they don't respect y'all.

They'll call ya and when you get here,

they don't wanna be truthful with you, that's wrong.

- [Brenda] Ow, oh God!

My shoulder hurts like a son of a bitch, ow!

- [Neighbor] Me myself, I'd be scared

to raise kids around here.

- [Brenda] Oh, God, my shoulder hurts bad.

- Let's get out of the way here,

it looks like we're gonna go for a ride.

- [Brenda] My shoulder.

- [Paramedic] She had a full (mumbles off mic)

- [Brenda] My shoulder hurts.

- Here you go, here you go.

- She work for the crew? - No, sir, she's just here.

- [Woman] Brenda, we will be there.

- Go ahead and stand it up.

- [Woman] Hey, sir, can you give him that?

- Oh, God, my shoulder!

- [Paramedic] You gotta sit back some, okay?

(groans) How's that, that better?

We got bumps again.

- [Woman] Brenda, I'll be there, sweetheart.

- [Brenda] Oh, God, my shoulder.

Where are you taking me?

- [Woman] I'll be there, Bren.

- [Paramedic] UCH Fletcher. (talking off mic)

- [Woman] I'll be there, sweetheart,

I'll be here with you, my best friend.

- Oh, God,

my shoulder's killing me!

- Okay, okay, I'm not gonna tighten it.

- Oh my God.

(muffled sobbing and groaning)

My shoulder hurts.

I don't wanna go--

(loudly screams)

(sobbing)

- [Woman] I'll be there, baby, I'm coming!

- Well get there in a few minutes.

(muffled radio static beeping)

- [Brenda] My shoulder's killing me.

(cars rustling)

(phone rings)

- Hello, The Spring, can I help you?

- Okay, relax, take a breath, take a breath.

- You know, it's just expressing ourselves.

We're not used to that, we're not used to saying,

you know, "I feel this way," and it's okay.

There's usually, "I feel like crap,"

and it's okay to do that. (phone ringing)

If he did what he did, I don't feel so good about myself.

You know what I'm saying?

So, those are the things that you might wanna write on paper

so you could see it and say, well, you know,

"What do I wanna do to change these things?

"How am I gonna change my feeling of being trapped?"

And the true answer comes from within you.

No one can say, (doorbell rings)

"This is what you need to do."

Because it's not that cut and dry, that's not black

and white, okay? - Okay, just a moment, please.

- For each person, it works differently.

And what he's done has affected you in many ways.

- Jessica's mom yesterday flat-out lied to the teacher

and said that I said she was clear of lice

when in actuality, she had me check,

and I checked and I found two more and said,

"No, Mommy, you're not finished yet, come and get a book."

I even gave Jessica a book to look at

'cause I knew it was gonna be a while longer.

- [Woman] Right. (phone ringings)

- Not two months later, she was up at the teacher saying,

"Julie said she was free--

- [Woman] Hello, The Spring, can I help you?

- "Of lice, you can go back to school."

flat out, bald faced lie.

- That's okay, listen, nobody, listen, listen, Karen,

nobody is going to judge you, you have done nothing wrong.

Because you've been controlled, okay?

- Okay, and you're medicated for the post traumatic stress?

Okay, and you, okay, and you were shot in the head,

is there medication for that?

- You just need to make a decision on what you want to do.

We do have a shelter that you can come to.

No, you can't bring your bird,

but we could find a place for your bird to go.

What kind of bird do you have?

A dusky lory?

Someone here does, she's very into birds.

Okay, calm down, calm down.

- Bye.

Okay, ma'am, let me ask you a couple

of real quick questions, are you safe?

Has be been physically abusive?

- Alright, keep our number handy

if you need to come in the shelter.

You've been accepted, so you just need to call us.

Our drop-off point is at the Sheriff's office in Ybor City.

So, what you would do is if you need to come in, call us.

If you cannot call us, just go directly

to the Sheriff's Office, do you know where that's at?

Okay, just--

Okay, just go there and call us or have them call us,

and then we'll arrange for you to get there from here.

Do you have any other questions?

Get whatever you've got as far as like driver's license,

your social security card, your marriage license.

(people softly chattering) - Hey, you look great!

- [Elizabeth] Who raised you, Melinda,

when you were a child?

- My grandmother, my parents died when I was 7 years old.

- [Elizabeth] Okay.

Did you see any violence with her?

- No, none.

- [Elizabeth] None?

- No.

- [Elizabeth] Any childhood sexual abuse or physical abuse?

- Yes, by my father.

- [Elizabeth] Okay, sexual abuse?

- Mm-hm.

- [Elizabeth] Okay.

Physical abuse?

- My father used to beat me as well, yes.

- [Elizabeth] Are you employed at this time?

- No, I'm not.

- [Elizabeth] Okay.

What do you make monthly, you don't have

any other income? - Nothing at this time.

I mean, in Texas, I was working, I'm an LPN.

- [Elizabeth] Oh, okay.

- But I haven't, you know, like I said,

I've only been back here right at three weeks, yeah.

- [Elizabeth] Okay, can you get your license?

- Mm-hm, yes.

- [Elizabeth] Okay, somebody can mail it to you?

- Right, right.

- [Elizabeth] Okay, great.

- They're being sent.

- [Elizabeth] Wonderful.

(children softly chattering)

- [Woman] You look nice today.

Are you losing weight?

- [Child] No.

- [Woman] 'Cause you sure look it.

(people softly chattering off mic)

- [Counselor] What was the highest grade that he completed?

- He finished college.

- [Counselor] Okay.

- He's a very brilliant person.

But stupid.

(chuckles)

- [Counselor] Yes, I understand that.

Okay, who did he grow up with?

His parents? - His brother,

his parents, and his sister.

- [Counselor] Okay, was there abuse in his home

when he was younger. - I think he was.

- [Counselor] Okay.

- His mother would go out and...

Tie him to the bedpost with a stocking.

- [Counselor] Oh my God--

- I shouldn't tell all of this.

- [Counselor] No, but that's alright.

That makes sense though because usually,

people that have been abused as children

become the abusers now.

- When he was young, if somethin' needed doin',

it was always, his brother's name was A.O.,

he'd yell, "Hey, A, go do something,"

he always had to do it.

- [Counselor] Does he have any mental handicaps?

Has he ever been diagnosed with a mental--

- He's manic depressive.

- [Counselor] Okay.

- And it runs in his family.

- [Counselor] Any physical handicap?

- No, well, now, he was in an accident,

and he broke both legs, and his arm and his nose.

And I told him not to go, I was blind then.

I had this, I'm crazy, but I had this little angel

that would tell me things.

- [Counselor] Uh-huh?

- And she said don't get in that car,

and I wouldn't get in it.

So, said, and then takes a shower,

and she said tell him not to get in that car

because something will happen, and--

- [Counselor] And he got into an accident?

- He did, yeah, he got in anyway,

and it was just a block away from my house.

He ran into a tree, (chuckles)

can't even reach how big it is.

- [Counselor] Oh my goodness.

- The car sorta stuck and he went a certain way.

- [Counselor] And how long ago was that?

- Oh, that's been a long time ago.

That little angel stayed in the bedroom with me

and would do things and tell me things.

- [Counselor] You must have had an angel,

50 years of putting up with abuse,

that's horrible. - I did, uh-huh.

She told me so many things.

- So basically, the last thing that he did was he was just,

he tried to burn the house down and you had to,

how were you able to get out of the...

The house? - Well he had to go,

he had talked to me for about 2 hours, sitting down,

just verbal abuse was his main thing.

- [Counselor] Right.

- And that makes people...

Just, it's so bad.

- [Counselor] Sure.

- And things that I wouldn't say to anybody, he said to me.

- Well, you'll be okay here, okay?

I know this is a rough time, but you'll be okay here

and we're gonna be here for you.

You'll have a counselor that you can talk to

and help you with your goals,

and see what you're going to do.

Do you have any idea what you wanna do?

Do you wanna end up going

to your daughter's house eventually,

or to your friends? - No, uh--

- [Counselor] Wanna get your own place?

- I think, my son and I can work something.

Well, she hasn't been married very long.

- [Counselor] Okay, but you'll be okay here.

- She's a nurse, and I think she--

- [Counselor] Now, do you want to,

what we'll do here with the night staff is

you can have an injunction, which is an order of protection.

You can have an injunction against him

so that he can't come near you and at least

that'll be your protection, and then you can be here

until you decide where you want to go

and what you want to do, okay?

- [Elderly Woman] Okay.

- And you'll be okay, and I know this is tough for you,

but everyone here is here to help you

and to be with you.

- My son was very impressed.

We've always been real close, and...

He thought this would be good for me to come.

I've never done anything like this.

- I know, well, was there anything before that made you,

you never decided to leave?

- He has always,

he would do my son, he would just put him down

and down, and down, you know, you can take so much of that.

And that's they way he does my son and me.

Now he's trying to do it to my daughter

and she already had caught on.

He builds himself up over putting other people down.

And I just didn't pay any attention.

I used to have a friend that's dead now,

but she would come over

and she would get so furious with him,

and I'd have to sit in the middle and part 'em. (laughs)

- Well, I'm glad you made this decision

because it's a hard decision after so many years.

But it was very brave, very brave of you--

- [Elderly Woman] Going on 50, 49, 50?

- Yes, I'm very glad you're here.

- [Elderly Woman] Too long, thank you.

- And I know we're gonna be able to help you.

- That's what I feel like, I just need to get it all out.

He talks so much, and I do too, I guess.

But I never got a chance to tell it to,

you know, say what I wanted to him.

(phone ringing)

- [Counselor] Good morning, The Spring?

- [Woman] You come out front and I'll have her meet you.

- Okay, I'll do that.

- [Woman] Okay.

- You know you did the right choice.

You know that, right? (softly sobs)

I know it doesn't make anything any easier,

but you've made the right choice to come

to a safe place where he can't touch you

or hurt you anymore.

You understand that, Melinda, right?

Okay.

And it's gonna be hard, okay?

For the next couple days, okay?

But that's why we're here, we're here

to give you the shoulder to cry on,

we're gonna help you all the way.

And the best thing is that you were able

to get your daughter out of that situation.

She doesn't have to see that anymore, okay?

And I know these questions are hard for you,

like I said, you know, I'll take my time and ask you

as you can answer me, okay?

(chattering off mic) (children laughing)

- [Young Woman] Well I mean, even so, I didn't

just put an injunction on him, I pressed charges.

- Right.

- I'm pushing everything to the fullest extent.

If I can talk to the lawyer and get attempted murder

because he's chasing me around with a gun,

threatening me with a gun, that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna go the full thing 'cause he needs to know

that he ain't gonna do this to me or anybody else.

- Charlotte, have you seen this?

It's the power and control wheel?

- [Charlotte] Yes, I have.

- Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and give you a power

and control wheel copy, and it shows,

basically, the difference between nonviolent behavior

and violent behavior.

There's all kinds of different types of abuse,

it's not just physical.

It can be financially, it can be...

Economic abuse in that respect, or emotional abuse.

There's several different things

on the power and control wheel.

If you get a chance to read over this,

you will probably find a lot of similar behaviors

that you've seen from your husband.

The domestic violence assessment

that I'm getting ready to do is going to cover each area

of the power and control wheel,

step by step, one by one.

And then at a later point,

you can meet with another counselor here

who will go over the power and control wheel in details.

- [Charlotte] Okay.

- First of all, talking about isolation,

do you have a support system of friends in the community?

- My husband wouldn't let me have anyone.

- [Counselor] Okay, does he ever pressure you

to stop seeing friends and family?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Has he ever stopped you

from doing the things that you wanna do?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Regarding financial control,

would you argue over money with him?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Did he make all the final decisions?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] If you wanted to go to work or school,

would he allow it? - No.

- Has he ever embarrassed you at work or at a public place?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- [Counselor] Do you have your own money to spend?

- No.

- [Counselor] Does he write out or pay all the bills?

- Yes, well, the bills don't get paid.

If they were, he'd be in control?

- [Charlotte] Yeah, he's in control.

- Okay.

If you had a checkbook, would he control the checkbook?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Would all assets be in his name, or are they in his name?

- [Charlotte] No, because he couldn't get credit.

- Okay.

Regarding intimidation and threats,

does he let you know when he disapproves of your behavior?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- If you have an argument,

does he do anything that scares you?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Does he ever use physical strength

or weapons to scare you?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Which one?

- Oh, physical strength--

- [Counselor] Both physical

and both weapons? - And, both.

- [Counselor] Has he ever threatened to kill you or himself?

- Me.

- [Counselor] And you do not have children with him?

- No.

- [Counselor] Okay, are there certain subjects

that you just do not even bring up anymore in his presence?

- Yes.

- Okay, regarding emotional abuse,

when he wants to insult you,

what kind of names does he call you?

- Whore, Bitch...

Something like...

I had my doctorate and he does some kind

of a word about my education.

- [Counselor] Okay, does he call you these names often?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] How frequently?

- Daily.

- [Counselor] Do you ever feel

that you just can't do anything right?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Do you spend a lot of time figuring out

how not to upset him?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] And do you feel criticized by him?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Regarding physical abuse,

as he ever pushed or shoved you?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Grabbed you, or prevented you from leaving?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Ever thrown something at you or at a wall?

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Ever hit you with his hand or fist.

- Yes.

- [Counselor] Ever choked you?

- Yes.

- Regarding sexual abuse, has he ever made you feel

uncomfortable or embarrassed about sex?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Ever pressured you to have sex?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Ever forced you to do things sexually

that you did not want to do?

- [Charlotte] Yes.

- Does he ever behave in a way

that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe sexually?

- [Charlotte] Yes, yes.

- When was the first time that he abused you

or frightened you?

- About three weeks after we met.

- [Counselor] Okay, describe that incident for me, please.

- It had to do with...

My continuing my profession and going to school.

He said that his wife didn't work

and I was to stay at home

and he's to know where I was at all times.

- Okay, at this point, three weeks after you met,

were you already married to him?

- [Charlotte] No.

- Okay.

- [Charlotte] I married six months after.

- After knowing him, okay.

So, when he said that you know,

his wife didn't work or whatever,

at that point, what happened?

Did you disagree with him, or...

Was there an incident?

- [Charlotte] No, I...

There was a verbal incident,

a lot of verbal incidents. - Okay.

- [Charlotte] But nothing physical.

- Okay, verbal at that point, verbal abuse by him, correct?

Okay, during your two years of being with him,

describe the worst incident

that has ever occurred between the two of you.

- It was on the 19th, this incident

where I got the bad bruises, and the cigarette burn.

- [Counselor] Okay, how many cigarette burns were there?

- One.

- [Voice On Speaker] Sorry, (mumbles name) you have a call

parked on Line 1.

- [Counselor] Have you ever left home

as a result of the abuse? - Yes.

- [Counselor] How many times?

- I would say 15.

(children chattering and giggling)

- This is probably the hardest part of the interview.

I need to ask you what occurred, okay?

You take your time, and just tell me

as best as possible, okay?

This happened last night, right?

- Yeah.

- [Elizabeth] Okay.

- I left the home yesterday, went to wash clothes

and take care of some business and I came back,

and he, my husband, had this woman at the house.

- [Elizabeth] Okay.

- At that time...

Yes, I was very upset, so I started questioning her and him.

And made her get out of the house

and him and I started arguing.

I told him I was leaving him,

I was tired of everything he was doing

and that I was going to turn him into the police

because of the fact of him selling drugs in our home.

At that time, I got up off the couch

where I was sitting and...

Headed for the front door.

And he came behind me and grabbed me by the hair, the head,

and yanked me back down on the floor.

I started screaming and begging him to please stop,

because you know, I said, "Please don't hurt the baby."

He told me at that time he says,

"I don't give a damn about the baby

"nor do I give a damn about you,"

he says, "I'm goin' kill you."

And he started kicking me in my back and in my shoulder.

And I just kept screaming and begging him,

and begging him to stop, and he wouldn't stop.

He told me, he just kept saying,

"No, I'm gonna kill you, I'm gonna kill you."

He says, "You think you're leaving,"

he says, "but you're not leaving nowhere,"

he says, "because if I can't have you,

"no one's gonna have you."

And he says, "I'm not letting you get out this door

"to go tell anybody what's going on in this house

"'cause you know too much."

So...

I at that time...

I just laid there on the floor,

I was hurting so bad.

And so, when I finally went to yank away from him,

he grabbed me by my left wrist and hand,

and bent my wrist and thumb all the way back.

I was screaming and crying and begging him to stop,

"Please stop, please stop."

And when I did, he'd come up with his fist

in the bottom of my stomach and hit my

in the bottom of my stomach.

And finally, he finally settled down,

but still would not let me out of the house.

And he just, you know, cursing and yelling and screaming,

this went on for hours and hours last night.

And nobody, I mean, neighbors,

to be sure neighbors heard me screaming,

but where we live, it's all blacks around, you know,

I'm the only white person in our little neighborhood there.

And it's just like everybody just tuned out, you know?

Nobody was there to help me, nobody.

And finally, he fell asleep.

When he fell asleep at four o'clock this morning

is when I got out, and I left.

And a neighbor down the road gave me a ride to the hospital.

She works at Tampa General and that's where she was on,

her way to work, so she carried me to Tampa General.

- [Elizabeth] And you're here.

- I'm here.

- You're gonna be okay, alright?

You're gonna be assigned a case manager, okay?

I'm a case manager, and I'm Elizabeth.

But there's five more of us.

So, one of us will certainly attend to your needs,

help you get whatever you need, and like I said,

if you ever have any question, grab any one of us,

and don't hesitate to ask, that's what we're here for,

we're here for you, okay?

And we're not gonna turn our back on you,

we're not gonna ignore you, on the contrary,

we're here to help you get what your needs met, okay?

And what I'm gonna do now is gonna get a room,

and I'm gonna get some linens,

and then I'll see if we can get some clothes.

I can't assure you anything 'cause we don't have any place

to get clothes at this time.

But I think we have a closet upstairs

and we can get something for you to wear tonight, okay?

And I'll tell Rosa, who's our bilingual counselor aid,

let her know that you wanna do a belongings pickup, okay?

And one more business, I have to check for lice.

- That's fine. - So,

have you ever had it before? - No.

- No. - I have a head full

of dandruff, and dry scalp. - Oh, that's okay I think--

- But no head lice.

- I think that everybody has that.

- Nope, I worked at the hospital, so.

- Yeah, I know that. - Yeah.

- It's just an ugly stuff, an ugly bug to have around.

And since you have so many kids--

- Yeah.

- You are safe, you're good.

- Yep. - Okay.

If you want, just wait right here, I'll be right back.

I'm gonna get your linens, I'm gonna get you your room,

I'm gonna show you your room.

And then, I'll try to get some clothes.

So, I could show you to the dining room,

you've been in the dining room, right?

Let me give you a tour, and that way,

instead of waiting here, I'll give you a tour

and show you the facility, and then go to the dining room.

- Can I leave this here? - You can leave that here,

and we'll go the dining room now.

There you go.

(people chattering off mic)

- Well see, I just wanted my job back--

(softly mumbling off mic)

(people chattering off mic)

- [Child] We gotta go (loudly mumbling)

(phone ringing)

- [Counselor] Good morning, The Spring, may I help you?

- [Woman] But the problem is they'll bring 'em down

and then they'll take it.

- Well, what I need is your signature

and we agreed not to leave the rest of the information in.

You're gonna go to orientation,

you're gonna meet with me daily,

you're gonna meet with a child case manager

for children services, attend two of the evening groups,

we're gonna complete a DV assessment,

domestic violence assessment,

we're also gonna conduct a safety planning,

employment you're gonna find and housing,

safe housing, that is.

I need your signature over here saying

that you're gonna agree to go ahead

and work on those goals while you're here.

- [Counselor] There's still, we've got work to do,

you've got work to do. - I know,

we're going to family counseling outside of here too.

- But I think the most important thing to remember is

every family has work to do when they live here.

Every family has work to do in raising their kids.

- Yeah, and it's gonna be together.

- Yeah.

- [Woman In Red] We realized we're not against each other,

but we're helping each other.

- Right, and there can be peaceful discipline.

- [Woman In Red] Right.

- That's what everyone expects,

there will be peaceful discipline,

there's gonna be consequences, choices made.

- [Woman In Black] Do you have time limits?

I mean, is there gonna be a time

where I'm told I have to go?

- That's a good question.

Every case is handled individually.

- [Woman In Black] Oh, it is.

- And as long as you are accomplishing your goals

and you're working very hard to get--

- 'Cause that right there is like,

will bring my stress level to where I can deal.

- Right, right, your main goal,

your last goal on this goal sheet is gonna be housing.

Makes sense?

- [Woman In Black] Mm-hm.

- Because you're gonna accomplish a lot of things

and then your last goal is gonna be housing.

- [Woman In Black] Okay.

- Whether it is your own apartment,

or whether you find a roommate,

or however you choose to do that.

But between now, the very first goal that you have,

and the last goal, as long as you maintain,

contact me daily, let me know

what's going on with your situation,

I see that you're accomplishing your goals

and you're striving towards that ultimate last goal,

then everything's gonna be okay.

- [Woman In Black] Okay.

- And of course, like I mentioned earlier

during the intake with the guidelines,

you also need to follow shelter guidelines,

that plays a big part of it also, obviously.

- [Woman In Black] Okay.

- Okay.

(child crying)

- Where's my son? - I know,

I don't know where he is. - Mikey?

Where's Mikey? - I don't know.

- Wait a minute, I can't, I know, let me ask, let me ask.

(loud sobbing drowns out words)

- Margaret,

(sobbing)

Margaret. - What?

(softly sobbing) - Let's go, let's go.

We can't talk unless you calm down, okay?

Well, you can tell me all about it.

Okay?

Is that what you wanna do? (loudly sobbing)

Is that what you wanna do, Margaret?

Alright, then--

- I have to keep my children.

(sobbing drowns out words) - I know you have

to keep your children but we need to talk about it.

We need to talk about it, Margaret,

and the only way that you can talk

about it is if you're calm.

(papers softly rustling) (shoes clattering)

- The first one I have to ask is tomorrow,

I go with my husband for the injunction, okay.

Vicky Biels is going and Alex is also gonna be there.

I do not mind...

Him to have contact as far as writing or on the phone

with the kids, you know, eventually,

'cause we're going into after care

and he'll have a phone.

But I don't want him anywhere around them right now

until he gets help, when do I ask for that?

- [Counselor] What kind of help are you talking about?

He needs a lot of help, he needs anger management,

he needs domestic violence help.

He, oh, gosh--

- [Counselor] How is he with the children?

- He's not physically abusive to them,

but he's very mentally abusive.

- [Counselor] What does he do?

- He pits them on teams, you know, either--

- [Counselor] How old are the children?

- Six, four, three, three, and two.

And (mumbles name) the only girl,

and what he does is they have to be on Daddy's side,

you know, listen to Daddy and make sure they do

what Daddy says, and...

He gives them conflicting signals as far

as they're always to tell the truth,

if they're telling on Mommy, but you know,

to tell lies so they don't get Daddy in trouble.

So, it's been really difficult for them.

- [Counselor] Well--

- The thing I'm concerned with is because he has,

I didn't tell the State Attorney's Office everything

when I talked to, I talked to Yolanda.

I told her, you know, I told her about him stabbing me,

told her about him cutting my throat and breaking my arm.

But I didn't tell 'em about how he had all these plans

about how he was kill me and bleed me, and--

- [Counselor] You didn't tell that

to the Assistant State Attorney?

- You see, at the time--

- [Counselor] Is he being prosecuted

for something right now?

- He's gonna be prosecuted,

I have to find out when he goes to trial.

- [Counselor] What did he--

- He went for bond reduction last week.

- [Counselor] But what is he being prosecuted for?

- Just aggravated battery.

- [Counselor] With, because he did--

- Domestic violence, from breaking my arm

and cutting my throat. - Okay.

Well, you probably want to tell the Assistant State Attorney

everything that occurred.

- [Woman] Right, see, I was trying to be, you see,

I didn't wanna like, you know, I don't know.

I've changed a lot since I've been here.

- You didn't want to hurt him.

- [Woman] Right, you know,

and he didn't care about hurting me.

- [Counselor] Well, he's got a problem.

- He has a big problem.

- It really doesn't help anybody.

It doesn't help you, definitely doesn't help you,

to withhold information, and it doesn't help him

because it just doesn't help him.

He's going to go through the criminal process regardless

and if he's convicted of the aggravated battery,

and if he's been to jail before

and this is his third battery on you,

and if he's got other convictions for batteries on you,

the chances of him going to jail are pretty good.

- He didn't get the other convictions

because I recanted and I got him out of jail,

and the second time, even though my face was swollen

and they had pictures, I told them

that I did it to myself, so--

- [Counselor] Depending on his other history--

- The judge told me flat out that he didn't believe me

and also, when I was Baker Acted and sent to Baylife,

the psychiatrist that I had there,

he knew, you know, right out that it was domestic violence,

and in fact, I didn't get out for two weeks.

It was hard for me to get out of there.

So, you know, even if they had to open up those records,

it wouldn't bother me, it's just that,

at the time, I wasn't trying to really withhold,

I told the truth as it happened, that I just did not tell it

because you know, he had planned on cutting my fingers off

so that I couldn't be IDed,

but since I had never been finger printed or arrested,

it kinda somehow, that clicked in his mind.

- Well, if you tell the State Attorney's Office,

they may decide to kick it up to attempted murder,

or they may decide to leave it where it's at.

It just depends on how they view the evidence

and whether or not it's enough evidence

to kick the charge up.

- Well, knowing my husband the way that I do,

I really, I feel that he would really benefit

from counseling, he needs a lot.

Thing is though is he's getting worse.

It's not, even since I've been here

and I've been apart from him,

he's really been acting crazy.

He's lost all his family and all his friends

from the way he's acting--

- [Counselor] How is he acting?

- And he is on crack.

- [Counselor] Okay, he's on crack.

- He's paranoid, he thinks that everybody is against him,

everyone's setting him up, I mean, everyone, he's telling--

- [Counselor] When did you separate from him?

- I've been here since February the 18th.

The 16th is the last day I saw him.

- [Counselor] When was it that he stabbed you

and broke your arm? - The 16th.

- [Counselor] February?

- Mm-hm.

- [Counselor] Has he seen his children since February?

- No.

- [Counselor] And you're getting ready

to get an injunction against him?

See, I applied for one, but they couldn't find him

'cause he was going back and forth to New York,

people were taking him, taking him in,

and then they didn't want him there anymore.

His family sent for him,

he said he was gonna turn himself in.

Then he'd get back here and sell a few of our things.

I got everything out of the apartment and put it in storage.

- The one that you filed before, did that go unserved?

- [Woman] It went unserved, yes.

- And was it eventually dismissed?

- [Woman] No, I'm going for the second one right now.

- Okay.

- [Woman] See, I didn't file it first,

I didn't wanna do anything against him.

I just waned to be away from him and be safe,

'cause even now, I find it difficult to be angry with him.

I still care for him, I was with him for 16 years,

almost half my life.

I just, I didn't wanna hurt him,

and I still find it difficult,

but I've found myself now in the position

where I'm having to protect myself

because he went from bond reduction,

about a week and a half ago,

and said that he's never hit me in his life,

he's never done anything.

He was arrested twice for domestic violence before

in Polk County, but I recanted.

And then the last time, I said that I hurt myself

and that I tried to kill myself

and I was Baker Acted and put into Baylife.

And so, he's trying to go through that again.

That was in '96, that was not this time.

No, this time--

- [Counselor] 'Cause it'd be pretty hard

for you to break your own arm.

- He beat me with a hammer, you know, claw hammer,

and all kind of things, and always before,

it was always physical violence, but slapping, pushing.

It escalating up into choking, stuffing things in my mouth.

But this time was different, I didn't know

that he was on crack until the night before I got away.

It happened over a four-day period

which the State Attorney's Office didn't wanna really know

about the first three days, just the fourth day.

Because that's the day I got away

and the day that the police were called

and everything like that.

When I first came here, it was for the kids,

but I've learned a lot since I've been here,

and I really, I'm really proud of myself, you know.

I didn't think that I could ever live without him,

I didn't think that I could do with.

Even though I've been the one working,

I've been to college, I've done all this stuff.

But I still was just--

- Well, the toughest thing to do is leave,

no matter how many times you've left.

- [Woman] I only left once, and came.

- Going to a shelter is a tough decision to make,

it's a tough step, it's a difficult step.

It's not the easiest thing to do

to uproot yourself, uproot your children,

leave your friends, leave your neighbors.

- [Woman] Everything you worked for for 16 years.

- Leave your whole house, it's like being hit by a tornado,

you don't know where to go.

- When he was on the run I was able

to get most of everything, I didn't take furniture stuff,

but every, most stuff I bought him was tools

and you know, 'cause he's a mechanic, so.

I have all of that, he's sold a few things,

but i haven't sold anything.

- [Counselor] What will you be doing in terms of after care?

- I'm going for human services, I'm going back to school.

- [Counselor] Human services?

- And continue on with college.

- [Counselor] And that's a two-year program?

- Mm-hm.

- [Counselor] Great.

- Yeah, yeah.

- We'll, I'll tell ya, the women

that have been through there that I know of--

- [Woman] I met three, and I was really impressed.

I was really impressed.

- It's good to see them when they come back

and how different they are from the day they came in.

- I know, all of them, they were so proud of themselves too.

- [Counselor] Sure.

- I was very impressed.

I just want the best for my children and myself.

- Any towels and anything else that you'll need,

I'll get you some toiletries.

- And the toilet?

- Yes, the bathroom is right over here.

You'll be sharing this room with two other ladies.

This is the bathroom and the showers are over there.

- Oh, okay.

- Okay? - Thank you.

I didn't bring my shower cap. (chuckles)

- Oh, well, we have one.

- Good! - I'll get you one,

(laughs) I'll get you one, okay?

I'll come in.

- [Marjorie] Okay.

(softly chattering off mic)

(light acoustic guitar) (chattering off mic)

- So, what you'll see now is

Florida's largest domestic violence shelter,

there are 38 facilities in the state.

This program serves about 1650 adults

and children each year, but essentially,

this is a kid's shelter,

because children occupy two of three beds,

we'll care for about 1000 children this year,

half under the age of five.

About 60% of our kids have been physically

or sexually abused prior to admission,

so this is the place where the violence stops

and the healing begins.

Only about a third of all

of our clients are working on admission.

And that's very low because our average mom is

about 26 years old with two or three children,

so not many are working, and in many cases,

that's part of the dynamics of a violent home.

They're not allowed to work, if they are allowed to work,

they have to turn over their paycheck.

There ar a lot of power and control issues

that typify a violent relationship.

Women lose degrees of freedom

and forgive for saying women, moms, she.

We serve about a dozen men here each year,

and the very same...

Elements are part of their relationships too.

- Is it because men are hesitant to admit to violence,

do you think? - I think so.

I think it's kind of a stigma issue.

- Yeah. - A milquetoast or whatever,

but men suffer terribly, and I want

to say that to you from my heart.

- Yes, I think we must. - And the inverse is true

in our offender treatment program.

15% of the batterers are women,

and they're sentenced to our program.

So, the knife cuts both ways.

And my concern of course is for the children

because children don't ask to be there

and they suffer terribly.

- [D.D.] It's a stigma with them for a long time.

- Exactly, yeah, kids talk about not being able to

take their friends home from school and...

They believe it's their shame,

and many kids believe that Mom is battered

because they weren't good kids.

If I'd made my bed--

- [Elderly Woman] And the guilt comes.

- Exactly, if I'd cleaned my room,

if I'd done better in school,

Mommy wouldn't have got hurt like this.

So, this is the place where the guilt stops.

- [D.D.] And life begins.

- Right on, I couldn't have said it,

would you like to work for The Spring, D.D.?

(laughing) [D.D.] No, I'm retired.

I'm tired of retired.

- [Guide] We quarterback for 'em and cheer 'em on

until they find just the right job.

- Is your main concern having the family together,

the mother and the children together again?

Absolutely, well, they are together here.

- I know they are here but when they're released.

- Yeah, we want these moms to keep their children.

- Yeah.

- Because if we don't give them the support they need,

when they're back on the street,

they'll lose their children, the family will--

- Disintegrate again. - Fall into despair, exactly,

exactly, so we do everything we can to support moms

and strengthen them in their mothering

and you'll hear that from Donna.

We do everything to support these moms.

- In their job, are they able to keep their salary?

Do they keep their pay? - Absolutely.

She asked when women work, are they able to keep their pay?

Absolutely, we want women to get a leg up

to save a few paychecks so that they can make a down payment

on an apartment and move.

Moms keeps their own rooms up and we believe

that that's very therapeutic. - Oh, yeah.

- [Guide] That's a big depression buster,

to get busy and shine something up, exactly.

And we tell them it's not the Holiday Inn.

And then they smile and they pick up a broom

and everything's okay.

Mind you, they come with their stuff in a garbage bag

or a pace board box or a laundry basket, a hamper.

- [Elderly Woman] They get out within a hurry.

- Exactly, sure, because law enforcement's

not gonna hang around.

The average time to gather your things us is five minutes,

so try to imagine a young mom with kids,

what would you pick up?

Would you pick up your wedding album?

Would you pick up the kids' vitamins?

And of course, they've gotta get out with documents.

We coach 'em on the phone,

that's what's going on in the mini office,

so that they bring shot records, health cards,

birth certificates, driver's license, social security card,

because in a violent home that's characterized

by power and control issues,

lots of times the victim's ID is destroyed

and she has to start over.

Because really, if you don't have documents,

you start over, you're nobody.

- [Elderly Woman] Do they contact you

or does somebody contact you prior to their coming

so that they know-- - Yes.

- [Elderly Woman] To have all these things

in their possession? - Right, we're coaching them

on the phone, and we do that around the clock

in English and in Spanish. - Do you have infants also?

- [Guide] Pardon, ma'am?

- Infants, any infants?

- [Guide] Yes, we have newborns

who were literally beaten out of their mother's bodies.

(women softly exclaim) - [Elderly Woman] Oh, no!

- Domestic violence is a savage problem for pregnant women.

- [Elderly Woman] Oh my goodness gracious.

- One third of pregnant women are battered

all the way through their pregnancy.

- [Elderly Woman] Oh my goodness.

- And so, we see children with physical deficits

that, yeah, and we just know that's part of this service.

The March of Dimes Foundation says

that prenatal battering is a leading cause

of birth defects in American children.

More defects than those for

which we inoculated children combined.

This is a crime that consumes a third of all police time.

Probably one of three American women is abused

during her relationship.

- One in three? - Is that right, one in three?

- Yeah, the FBI, which is not a feminist organization,

says one in two women will be physically abused.

- Oh my goodness. (women softly exclaim)

- I know. - Oh, my goodness.

I can't believe it. - Seems impossible.

- [Elderly Woman] Is it getting worse than it used to be?

- [Guide] I think it's always going on.

I think women perhaps are more willing to report it

knowing that it's not their shame.

- [Elderly Woman] Well, they know

that there's help out there.

- [Guide] Exactly, exactly.

- One time there wasn't such a situation

where they could ask for help of this kind.

- "Maria, get out of the way."

And somebody here saying, "No, don't kill her."

And somebody here's saying, "You shut up."

And somebody here is saying, "Get out of the house."

And there's a police car coming down the street,

is that what that is?

- Well, that's a--

- Here's the house, so who is,

Jose, go back to your seat, please.

Who is this?

- My mom, she's telling my dad to get out of her house

'cause she doesn't wanna see him there.

- And this is? - My dad.

- Okay. (Jose mumbles)

And? - That's Jose. (giggles)

- That's Jose and he's saying,

"Maria, get out of the way," and--

- That's a leaf.

- That's a flower.

(laughing)

That's not a person at all, is it?

So, your dad showed up at the house

and your mom was saying, "Get out of here."

Why were you saying, "Maria, get out of the way"?

- 'Cause he might hurt me instead of my mom.

- [Man] And why did you think that might happen?

- 'Cause I was so close to him and that it looked

like he was gonna hit me instead of my mom.

- Last time you guys came here,

we talked about things you can do to be safe

when there's fighting in your house, right?

Was one of the things that we talked about--

- [Jose] Go up to your room.

- Go up to your room, did we say it would be a good idea

to go down and stay around the fight?

So you think maybe that's why Jose told you

to get away from the fight?

You think he remembered from last time?

So, how did the fight end?

- The police took my dad (Jose mimics sirens howling)

'cause I opened the door and they always check my dad

but my dad jumped through the window,

through my brother's window.

- He jumped through your brother's window?

How did the police know to come to your house?

- Because we called the police.

- Who did?

- It was Jose or me, I don't remember.

- Well, you guys are pretty brave.

You guys maybe saved your mom's life, huh?

Thank you for sharing that.

- Share mine next.

- Jessica, what's happening in this picture?

- My dad, he's like having in the rain outside

when it's raining and they're like fighting outside

because my mom told him to get outside with the fight

and then my dad, he like have scissors

and trying to cut her hair while she's asleep.

And me and my brother was in my room crying.

- [Man] So, he was trying to cut her hair while she was,

it looks like she's crying too.

- [Jessica] Yeah, she is.

- And I see the rain is coming down here, all the rain.

- [Jessica] They're outside.

- [Man] They're outside, what's the red?

I see little red specks.

- [Jessica] That's flowers falling down from the sky.

- Flowers falling down from the sky.

And so, this was two different fights here, right?

This is your mom and dad fighting at two different times?

And one that--

- [Jessica] And my mom has a piece of paper in her hand.

- What's the piece of paper?

- [Jessica] The bills.

- The bills.

So, now we've heard two different stories.

We heard one story with James and Dominique

and his mom and dad were fighting over bills,

and now it sounds like your mom

and dad are fighting over bills too, you think a lot--

- [Jessica] She's trying to hide 'em from my dad

because she didn't want my dad to get mad

'cause we had a high bill.

- Do you think a lot of moms and dads fight over bills?

- [Jessica] Yes.

- Sounds like it, and it sounds

like you guys were pretty scared,

it was a scary, scary time.

I think I would be scared too.

Is it against the law to hurt someone?

- No.

- [Man] You don't think it's against the law--

- Yes!

It's against the law.

- [Man] How many people think it's against the law

to hurt somebody else?

Okay.

If you hurt somebody with your hands or you push someone,

or you hit someone, it's against the law,

even if they're your wife, or your mother.

You know, if you're a kid and you hurt someone,

the police, you know, if you and your brother are fighting,

the police probably aren't gonna come take you away.

But it's always against the law,

it's always wrong to hurt somebody.

Then if you're a grownup, it's certainly

against the law to hurt other people.

What's happening in this picture, Matthew?

- Me gettin' spankin'. (child giggles)

- [Man] And is that a kind of abuse?

What kind of abuse is that?

- Child abuse. - Okay.

It's important when you're talking about spanking

to think about the different ways

people use the word, abuse

because there's child abuse that's against the law,

it's against law, some kinds of child abuse.

And then there's child abuse

that is just abuse by definition

because abuse, what does the word, abuse, mean?

- [Girl] Hitting someone.

- Hm, that's a kind of abuse,

what does the word, abuse, mean, Maria?

- [Maria] Hurting...

Hurting other people on purpose.

- Hurting someone on purpose, right.

So, if you're hitting a child, if you're spanking a child,

that's certainly hurting them on purpose,

that's a kind of abuse.

It might not be against the law,

like some kinds of child abuse are.

But it's certainly a kind of abuse,

so you're right, that would be child abuse.

It would also be physical abuse.

It would also be physical abuse

'cause you're hurting somebody's body.

- Do you have a pet at your house?

Like a dog, a cat?

No?

Me neither.

- We had a dog but he died.

- That happens sometimes.

Is there anybody in your whole family

that you don't like to be with sometimes?

- I don't like to be with my brother

'cause he always hits me.

- Your brother, Jose?

Well, we're gonna have to work on Jose

'cause your sister said the same thing.

Do you know why you and your mom came here?

- Yeah, 'cause they had a fight.

- They had a fight, what were they doing?

- My dad didn't...

My dad couldn't find his lunch.

But my mom just put it in the trunk

'cause the doors were locked.

And then, when we come back...

He said, he got all mad.

And my mom was crying, crying and stuff.

And he also got away for that thing when you go

and you get some... (phone ringing)

You know, some of that money?

- Where you get some money, like you go to the bank?

- Yeah, he took it away from my mom.

- He took your mom's money away from her?

- No. - No?

- Well, we still have it, and she called the policeman,

but they didn't arrest my dad.

- They didn't arrest him?

Did they come there though, did they come to your house,

when she called them?

- We just...

Our aunt, she took us...

At the policeman, and then...

We stayed there, we didn't tell the policeman nothing.

And then somebody come to pick us up and take us here.

- And brought you here, huh?

Do you know where this place is?

- It looks like a hotel.

- It does look like a hotel, doesn't it?

Except it's better than hotel 'cause it's got a school,

and a daycare and a big playground.

It's got all kinds of fun stuff, it's called The Spring.

Can you say that? - Spring.

- You're so smart. (giggling)

And everybody that lives here, all the kids that live here,

everybody else that's in the building,

they all came to live here.

- Well, when it's tomorrow, I'm gonna start school

when it's tomorrow? - Yeah, mm-hm,

you can go to school tomorrow.

Tomorrow's Friday, it'll be fun.

But everybody that lives here, all the other kids

that live here, they all came here for the same reason.

- They color everyday?

- Yeah, they color everyday and they play outside everyday.

Sometimes they take naps. - And they write their ABCs

and they write it?

My aunt, she teached me how to do that.

- Did she?

Wow, that's pretty nice of her.

So, you'll be ready to go to kindergarten, huh?

You're gonna go to kindergarten next year, huh?

That's good, okay, how do you feel about staying here,

at The Spring?

- Kind of good. - Kind of good?

That's good 'cause it's a nice place.

Have you ever seen your mom and dad fighting?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, what do they do, what were they doing?

- Well, my mom...

My mom was just sitting down, and my dad...

And my dad just ask her...

Where was the lunch and my dad went out hunting for it

and he thought my mom threw it on the road.

- [Counselor] I'm sure Mom didn't do that.

And what were you doing when they were fighting?

- I was just sitting down and watching TV.

- [Counselor] How did it make you feel

when they were fighting?

- Bad.

- [Counselor] Bad, it's kinda scary, huh?

Yeah.

- [Maria] They would just fight.

- They would fight?

If you did something to get in trouble, they would fight?

Yeah?

Okay.

In your whole life,

what's the happiest thing you can remember?

- I like my mom and getting married

and I like 'em when they be nice.

They been nice.

- [Counselor] Your mom and dad, they've been nice?

- My dad keep on going to jail until we moved.

- [Counselor] So you moved?

- Yeah.

- [Counselor] Now he hasn't gone to jail anymore?

He was in jail a lot?

- He went to jail 5 times, now he don't.

- [Counselor] Five times?

That's how old as you are.

(giggles)

What's the saddest thing you can remember

in your whole life?

Can you think of something sad?

- I like when...

When he cries, I'm not gonna cry.

- [Counselor] When your dad cries?

- When my dad dies.

- When your dad dies, you're not gonna cry?

Is there anything special that you're afraid of?

- I'm scared of my dad when he screams at my mom.

- [Counselor] I think I would be too.

Do you have any questions you wanna ask me

or is there anything you were wondering about?

- Hm...

Yeah.

- [Counselor] Okay, go ahead.

- Well, my mom started the fight.

My mom didn't started the fight, the dad started the fight.

- [Counselor] Your dad started the fight?

- Yeah, 'cause everyday when we go home,

our dad gets mad.

- [Counselor] Everyday?

Wow. - 'Cause he gets mad 'cause,

you know, all my aunts, they keep on stepping on our grass,

and that's what he gets mad.

- That's what he gets mad about?

Hm, but you know what?

Even if you're mad, you don't have to hurt people

or yell at people, 'cause I get mad, I get mad sometimes.

What do you do when you get mad?

- I just tell my dad to stop.

- [Counselor] You talk to him?

So, you can talk to people when you get mad,

or you could take a walk, you could color a picture.

You don't have to yell at people.

It sounds like your dad needs to learn some new things

to do when he's mad, I think so.

- Many of those women come with their families,

with their children.

Some of them come with grandchildren.

We've had grandmothers in shelter with grandchildren.

We've had elderly women in shelter

whose children cannot protect them any longer,

or won't protect them, or have hurt them.

We've had elderly men in shelter.

So, there's probably not a facet of the world,

if you're walking through the mall

and just grab people out of stores,

we probably have had someone just like that person.

Every name, we've had Joses, and Michaels, and Marthas,

and probably your own children's

or grandchildren's names, they've all been here.

And why that's important is

because I think sometimes the community thinks

that maybe these are different people

with different rules, why they just don't leave.

And we know why they don't leave.

I was a volunteer five and a half years ago

and I was doing laundry for the baby

'cause I volunteered with the infants.

And I was in a laundry room, and it was real small,

'cause there were washers and dryers,

and I was taking the clothes out of the washer,

the blankets, and I spun around and bumped into someone

who was facing the other way.

So, I said, "Oh, excuse me," and when she turned around,

I could see we were this close

'cause it was a small laundry room.

She had been hit my a crowbar,

and it had taken off most of her face.

And I was brand new, had never been out in the real world,

and I looked at her and I didn't know what to say,

and we were so close.

And I said, "Oh, my name is Donna,"

I said, "I'm so proud of you.

"I work here with the children," I said,

"if there's anything I can do, I'm right down the hall."

And she looked at me,

and I think she could tell I was stunned,

because no matter how you try,

you are, and you feel embarrassed,

and hurt, and ashamed, and you don't know what to do.

And she looked at me, and with a very strong voice,

she said, "You know, I was more afraid of leaving

"than I was of living the rest

"of my life looking like this."

And I'll tell you what,

I went home that day,

and I had every answer to every question I'd ever had.

I know why they stay, the power is so strong.

That they truly believe living the rest

of their lives scarred, hiding, hurt,

is better than trying to get out.

So when they come, the good news is we're able

to offer them services for their children.

The Spring's been wonderful for the babies.

This used to be a warehouse

full of warehouse things, yucky things, dirty things,

critters that crawled, roaches, all those good things.

And they've made it into a children's facility,

and you know what?

When you walk through the classrooms,

you're gonna be so impressed.

It looks just like a school.

It looks like a school in your neighborhood

that maybe your grandchildren or your children went to,

and that's what The Spring wanted.

This is a safe place for the kids to be children

because the power that their mother felt

and the terror that their mother felt,

they felt too.

They didn't understand it.

But they felt it.

So that's why it's so important that this is just a school.

- [Counselor] In our own homes, when we're dating,

these things, we need to be conscious of what to look for

with our children, you know?

And sometimes, just like the mom on the tape,

kinda but the blinders up because of her own history,

you know because--

- My mom didn't put blinders up.

She knew what was going on but there was 10 of us

and there was no way she could afford to get a job

and take care of us so she dealt with it.

- [Counselor] And sometimes that happens.

- My mom was on so much drugs,

she sat would watch and laugh.

So, I mean, it's not that she put on blinders,

she thought it was funny.

There are sick individuals in this world.

And I don't care if they say

that some of them can be rehabilitated or not,

they're still sick.

- [Counselor] Right.

But what we need to do is try to make it safer

for our own kids, so they don't go through the same things.

- [Woman] My kids didn't.

- [Counselor] Good.

- They did not have to endure what I endured

because my husband...

Of 16 years...

Tried...

Walking into my daughter's room,

and I took a frying pan and hit him upside the head with it

and split his head open.

And I told him if he ever touched her

in a way that was unbecoming, I'd kill him

'cause I wasn't gonna have her go

through what I went through.

I don't care if she goes out and she wants her first time

to be with somebody and they're not married,

that was a decision she made.

But it's not her decision to have it taken from her.

- [Counselor] That's right.

- Needless to say I didn't go to jail.

He didn't press charges, but he did get out

because I told him I would.

I ain't gonna have it.

Nobody's gonna ever do that to my kids.

And that hurts really, really, really, really bad

to know that you would marry somebody

that would do something like that to your children.

- [Counselor] I think sometimes with moms,

that's part of what keeps 'em,

keeps the blinders on too.

Is she cares about both members of the family,

and not knowing is the only way to keep the family in tact

for a lot of families, so she pretends not to see.

- You get to a point where this has happened to me

and I'm not gonna allow it to happen to anyone else

because out of the 10 who may say, you know,

well, she was molested, or this happened and that happened,

there may be one or two that are actually there

who have been, and most likely more than one or two,

that have been molested,

are maybe being molested at that time.

But because you're standing there in your openness,

it's helped them, you know what I'm saying?

It's okay, it's not my fault.

I can get help, because when,

I think someone said it earlier,

by the time the person is grown, an adult,

a lot of times when you go to court,

they're looking at the time frame

before anything was brought out.

And as a child, it's embarrassing.

I can remember my cousins, we would go to my grandmother's,

and my cousins were molested and we would get out of school,

we had to take our naps, and you could hear my uncles,

well, actually, their older cousins,

and you can hear they were all in the house,

you could hear them creeping on the floors,

and we were like five, six, four, five and six.

And I would cover my head in the blanket,

and I was hoping, "Hope they don't come to my room today,

"hope they don't come to my room today,

"hope they don't come to my room today," okay?

But you could hear 'em walking.

I would just freeze up, "Hope they don't come in my room."

And they would always go to my other two cousins' room

while their mom was not usually there,

they didn't have a dad or anything.

The family, they were the ones that guys messed with

and these were like high school guys.

And some of 'em were 18,

and one came in my room.

And I thought he'd leave after he saw

that I was, you know, I had the cover over my head,

kinda like I'm sleeping or whatever, but he didn't,

and he went to touch me and I just jumped up and screamed,

"I'm tellin' my momma, I'm tellin' my momma,

"I'm tellin' my mom!

"I'm tellin' my dad, I'm tellin' my dad,

"I'm tellin' my dad!"

But when I told them, my point is this, as a kid,

my aunt just said, you know, it was a joke.

I was the one wrong, I was the one

'cause my dad, immediately, you know,

when he got home from work, oh, that was news,

that's what I put out.

And he went and confronted them.

Well then, I was the one wrong.

And I had to go to my aunt's,

that's where my mom took me before she went to work,

and I had to wait before I went to school,

so I had to listen to her.

"And what is that anyway?"

And da-da-da, you know?

And she would just antagonize me,

she would just do mean, nasty things

and just talk at me and throw stuff at me, you know?

And I would have to hear that.

And when I would come back, I had to hear it,

might be no more cousins walk the hallway

and came to my room,

but still as a child, that's...

That's horrible, but if someone could stand

and it becomes a group where you could have support,

I think it might be some better judgment taken,

some other recourses for the abusers.

For right then, you know, this child's, what?

Four, and you're 30, or you know, you're whatever

and you've done this to you, and you've done that--

- [Woman] I think men like that should be castrated.

- [Counselor] But you know what?

That's not gonna stop them from being abusive.

- Right.

- [Counselor] We think it will,

but it won't. - 'Cause it's mental.

- [Counselor] Yeah, and most sexual abuse isn't

with the penis.

- She said that on there, with objects.

- [Counselor] Yeah, with objects, fingers.

You know, castrating's not gonna stop that behavior.

- No, it's like you said, how could you get involved

with somebody that would do that to your children?

You don't know, 'cause I got involved with somebody

that was convicted of child molestation.

- [Woman] Did you know that?

- I didn't know it at the time.

But once you're in and once you're helpless

and you have nowhere else to go

and you're under that control and you have the same friends,

it was always told to me.

He would know if I told anybody else.

He constantly reminded me of that.

He would have to go to these groups and everything,

so sometimes, he would come back crying and everything,

looking for somebody to feel sorry for him

'cause he can't even forgive himself.

And I have no pity for him.

Like castration or something like this,

it's not gonna do anything for these people,

it's a fetish, it's a sickness.

I knew the girl that he dated before I was there.

She never said anything to me,

but I imagined she probably knew exactly

what I was going through,

that's probably why she left in the first place.

It's like they still have that fetish,

it's like a fetish, an object.

They become like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

And just like that, (fingers snap)

you can see the mode switch.

I mean, he can be perfectly normal for two days or whatever,

but when that mindset hits,

I can tell just by looking at him.

And that's not gonna change anything.

The behavior's up here.

- [Counselor] Sex offenders and batterers

have almost identical profiles

as far as personality profiles are concerned.

With both of them, this behavior's about power and control,

it's not about sex.

That's one thing that we need to remember.

It's not about, well, you know,

you looked really good when you were four, okay?

Or you looked really good so he just couldn't keep his hands

off of you when you were raped,

you know, it's not about that.

- [Woman In Sweatshirt] Or you did something wrong

when he started beatin' ya up.

- [Counselor] Right, it's not about these things.

It's about power and control.

With a child molester, children are easy to control.

First of all, society doesn't believe 'em when they talk.

You're under a certain age, you can't go to court anyway.

They don't have any real rights

and they're dependent on the abuser.

They're the ideal victim.

With rape and domestic violence,

those are about power and control also.

They're picking on a bigger victim,

but it's the same dynamics.

- [Woman In Tank Top] How come they always have

to have the power and control?

- [Counselor] Most of them don't feel

like they have it in their own life.

So, they kinda compensate by taking it from somebody else.

- So, you're saying that somewhere

in my husband's younger years,

he was sexually abused and battered by somebody?

- [Counselor] Not necessarily.

- Maybe he watched it.

- [Counselor] He could've seen it in the home.

- He could've seen it.

- [Counselor] It may not have been any of it.

What we've found is people who have been abused

are 700 times more likely to be abusers

than people who have not been abused.

However, there are people who've never been abused

that become abusers.

- [Woman] 'Cause they lose control.

- [Counselor] And there's people that are abused horribly

and never abuse anybody else.

So there's still some choice in it.

- You said your husband drinks a lot or whatever.

A lot of people that are in domestic violence and battery,

a majority of the partners are

also alcoholics or drug addicts.

You know, and you get back to that

where they're self-centered and the thing is control.

And after a period of years,

they lose that control and they're gonna take it out on you.

They're only concerned about themselves

and you know, the drugs and alcohol

and the personality within itself.

You understand what I'm talking about.

- A lot of times they don't care about themselves too.

They have no self esteem, so therefore they...

I don't know, it's like...

They kind of like go numb.

They don't feel any feelings, they don't feel happiness,

there's only like a few feelings that they feel,

they feel self pity or anger.

They don't feel remorse, you know.

- This man was forever asking me,

"Do you love me, do you love me?"

And I proved to him in so many ways how much I loved him.

And he still didn't believe me.

- [Counselor] And he never will,

'cause he can't love himself.

- That's what I told my boyfriend.

I said, "You can't respect me and you cannot love me

"until you respect and love yourself.

"Until you can deal with the stuff

"that you're going through, don't talk to me," you know?

- How can you stop these people

from hurting other people then?

How can you stop it?

'Cause I know the girl that he was with

before he got with me,

and he didn't do the things to me that he did to her.

He took a telephone and beat her in the head with it.

And if he woulda did that to me,

I'da been going to jail for domestic violence.

- [Counselor] Okay, if you were there long enough,

he may have been beating you in the head

with a telephone too, you know,

because they tend to get worse overtime.

- And a lot of times--

- [Counselor] The longer you're with him.

- A lot of times, you know, I thought,

if I ever let another man hit me again,

I'm gonna fight back, I'm gonna kill him.

But they have a way of mentally weakening you.

It's a psychological thing,

they place this reverse psychology on you,

and damn it, they're good.

- [Counselor] Yes, they are.

- 'Cause they will weaken you, they will, you know.

It's like a lot of times, I sit back and I think,

well, he's told me he was sorry.

He wasn't sorry about a damn thing he did,

but yet, I don't know.

It made him feel powerful

and he know that I was the weak one.

- [Woman In Tank Top] Yeah, because they would use that,

"I love you, baby."

- [Woman In Sweatshirt] "I love you, baby, I'm so sorry."

- [Woman In Tank Top] Make you feel so special

and so wonderful for what, 30 minutes?

- [Woman In Sweatshirt] "And I can't live without you."

- [Woman In Tank Top] Yeah.

- They have a lot of words.

They say women are manipulative,

talk to a man for 10 minutes,

their lips are moving, they're lying.

- And see, I'm 40 years old,

and all my life I've been abused,

sexually, mentally, physically, you name it,

and I never knew any of these things,

what you guys are saying, until I came here.

Because my mother threw me out when I was 13

and told me that if I didn't like my new stepdad

that I could just hit the F'ing road, I said, "See ya."

And I went and I stayed in the street,

and I was 14 years old, and I found me a 22-year-old man.

Well, if I would do what I was told,

I had a place to stay.

So, whatever he wanted to do to me, I let him do to me

so I would have a roof over my head and food to eat.

And my mother didn't give a damn.

So, I got pregnant, I had my daughter,

and she was the most beautiful thing I ever seen

and I got the hell out of Tampa,

went to Plant City and then raised my two kids that I had.

- [Counselor] Good.

- But it doesn't matter, I forgive them

for what they've done to me and put me through.

But it's just gonna take me some time, emotionally,

to get over a lot of things.

- [Counselor] Right.

- Just like I was telling you, you should be so glad

you're learning this at a younger age.

♪ Skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky do ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky do ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I love you in the morning ♪

♪ And in the afternoon ♪

♪ I love you in the evening ♪

♪ Underneath the moon, moon, moon, moon ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky do ♪

♪ I love you ♪

(lightly clapping to beat)

♪ I love you ♪

♪ I love you in the morning ♪

♪ And in the afternoon ♪

♪ I love you in the evening ♪

♪ Underneath the moon, moon, moon, moon ♪

♪ Skinnamarinky dinky dink ♪ (softly chiming)

- Hello?

- [Child] (softly mumbles) In dinosaurs area.

- [Teacher] Because they don't have a area (softly mumbles)

- Yes, we'll clean up.

(children chattering and giggling)

Be nice.

James?

- [Woman] Time to go.

- James? (child softly talks off mic)

You wanna go to the bathroom?

- [James] No.

- [Child] Look what I found.

- Are you sure?

- I know this goes to here.

This goes right here. - No, that doesn't go there.

- This goes right here.

- Let me see. - Right there.

(lightly clattering)

- Alright.

See?

You've made something pretty.

Now, you put it up there and you take it home

to your mommy, okay?

- [Woman] What did you make, Monica?

- Monica made a hand and a flower.

- [Woman] Oh, how pretty.

- So, what we're gonna do, she's gonna take it home.

Now, let's see, let's see if we can find some scissors.

- Turn the page.

"I am a little monkey, I live with my mother and my father

"in a big forest."

See the baby in the mommy's arms?

- It's another one. - That's the monkey's family.

That's the grandfather, see the beard?

- What's that one? - See that one has the beard?

- What's that one? - He's the oldest one.

And that's the momma, she's teaching him

how to hold onto the branches.

There's another monkey, you see,

and a banana, look at that.

And this, all his brothers and sisters.

They're one big happy family.

What's he doing?

Look, what's he doing? (children softly chattering)

You see, see the straw and the ants there?

What is he doing?

He's catching ants, so he can eat 'em,

look, see he's eating them from there?

You see that?

- [Child] Buh-bye.

- [Woman] They like some bananas.

- [Child] Look, and then there's lions.

- [Woman] What is that?

No, that is a leopard.

(children chattering) And that's a butterfly.

"In the evening, I like to sit in the top of the tree

"and listen to the birds sing.

"I love the forest at night

"with the moon shining over the lake."

What's he doing now? (child mumbles off mic)

Sleeping in mommy's arms. (child mumbles off mic)

Do you like to sleep in Mommy's arms?

- [Teacher] Let's look at the next sentence, number 15.

"Today's newspaper never arrived."

Angela, help us out here.

- The Y and the S?

- [Teacher] Excellent, excellent, good choice,

and why did you do that?

- Because I think it started off a new day.

- [Teacher] And it's one day,

so do we call one thing singular or plural?

- Plural.

Singular.

- [Teacher] Singular, now which is it?

Which is it, singular or plural?

- Plural, no, singular.

- [Teacher] I was having a hard time hearing.

Is one thing something singular or plural?

- Plural?

Plur--

- [Teacher] If you go in line single file,

do you have a partner or do you go by yourself, single file?

- I go by myself.

- [Teacher] You go by yourself, right.

So, if it's singular, it is just one person, okay,

so you had the right answer there, do you understand?

What does plural mean?

- Plural means it has a S at the end.

- [Teacher] Yes, it is more than--

- One person?

- [Teacher] Yes, okay, can you give us an example

of something that's a plural noun?

- Like paper and papers?

- [Teacher] Yes, and which would be singular?

- Paper.

- [Teacher] And which would be plural?

- Papers.

- [Teacher] Excellent, okay now we've got the idea.

Alright, let's look at number 16.

"Was America's first president George Washington?"

Well, Loren, we're gonna give it a try here.

(laughing)

"Was America's first president George Washington?"

- America was...

The apostrophe must go between, hold on...

"America's first...

I think it'd go after the S

'cause America is...

All everybody, I mean.

- [Teacher] Okay, now let's think about this.

Is America one country or more than one country?

- It's more, it's more than one country, ain't it?

(laughing)

- [Teacher] Is America one country,

or is it more than one country?

- Okay, it's one.

- [Teacher] One, ok, so that makes it singular or plural?

- Singular.

- [Teacher] Singular, so what's the rule then?

- The apostrophe between...

Between the A and the S.

- [Teacher] That's correct, Loren.

- [Girl] Yes!

- I was thinking of Canada, 'cause I don't know.

- Right, you're thinking of the continent, okay,

the whole North American continent, okay, that was good.

(child mumbles teacher's name)

Yes?

- [Girl] Are all these stories old?

- Are those stories old?

- All these stories are back longer or something.

- Most of them were from very long ago, yes.

But they're true stories, that's what makes them interesting

because what you're doing is you're learning,

some of them are about science,

some of them are about history, okay?

Now remember up to this point that women were not allowed

to vote, only men were allowed to vote.

So, you have something called Women's Suffrage,

and people were trying to get the law

to say that women could vote.

- I thought the first one would take care

of both men and women.

- Right, that means voting rights for all.

But right then, if you were a woman,

if you were Indian, if you were a slave, you could not vote.

(softly whispers)

(children softly chattering)

- Okay, eat your food.

(soft lullaby music)

♪ Hush little baby don't say a word ♪

♪ Momma's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪

♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪

♪ Momma's gonna buy you a diamond ring ♪

(soft lullaby music)

♪ And if that diamond ring turns brass ♪

♪ Momma's gonna buy you a looking glass ♪

(children chattering)

- Now, I met this one lady

at another domestic violence shelter,

and when I met her, I could not believe

that her brother did that to her,

and this woman was in her 70s.

She came in, I mean, I felt so sorry for that poor woman.

I mean, she was thinner than you, completely,

and I mean, she had a black,

I almost say, a whole half of her face was black,

her lips, her arms, and her legs.

And she'd been, you know, they split the house

and they were paying the bills evenly and everything

and all of a sudden, he just spazzed out on her.

I felt so sorry for her and I didn't realize

that spouse abuse and sibling abuse

is all considered domestic violence.

- I didn't either, I didn't realize it

until when I called the police and they came

and I explained to them what happened,

I was like, "Well," da-da-da, da-da-da,

and they were like, "Well, that's domestic violence."

And I looked at him, I said, "Didn't you hear me?"

I was like, "That wasn't my man, it's not my husband."

I said, "It's my uncle."

And they were like, "It's domestic violence,"

I was like okie-dokie, Charlie.

- [Woman] Yeah, but that's

because they're all in the family.

- [Woman] Yeah, it's in the family.

- Right, but anytime I've ever seen

or have known a cop to been called

on a domestic violence call,

it's always been a boyfriend, or a husband.

I've never known it to be a family member.

- [Woman] Or girlfriend or wife.

- Yeah, battery was family fights.

I've seen battery as family fights,

but domestic violence, I've never heard them use it

as a family thing.

- Well, I had one tied me up at 7:30 in the morning,

my hands behind my back, my feet tied, everything.

Well, my niece untied me and then he gets up on top of me

and I told him to let me go three times.

He refused so I bit him.

- [Woman] Is it time to go?

- And then he got mad 'cause I bit him.

Or the choke holds, those were enough, you know.

I had a cure answer for that one,

"Go ahead and kill me, that's what you wanna do."

Then he would stop and say, "I don't wanna kill you."

I'm like, "Then why are you choking me?"

If you're gonna kill something, you choke it.

I'd given myself a black eye when I twisted my ankle.

- [Woman] I broke my own jaw, and I broke my own arm,

since I'm really into pain, I just--

- [Woman In Tank Top] Oh, I broke my own elbow.

- [Woman] Yeah.

- It didn't matter the fact that he put his foot out

in front of me and I went, well, bam!

- He said, "Well, you did this yourself, you did all,"

and I'm like, "Oh, really, all these?"

You know, I'm bleeding everywhere,

broken arm, broken jaw, right?

I did this, okay.

He swore to God to the police I did it.

I ran into the wall, that's how I broke my jaw.

Oh, yes.

No, no.

- [Woman In Tank Top] You know a doorknob,

blacken your own eye.

- I was in the emergency room one time,

and I tried to tell him that I fell on these rocks

around the driveway that I had, right?

And doctor in the emergency room goes,

"Well, then you should be a millionaire."

And I'm like, "Why, what are you talking about?"

He said, "'Cause your rocks have hands."

I'm like, oh, 'cause you know,

I didn't think they could tell.

I just did not think that they could tell.

I said, "Well, I feel riding bike with the kids."

"Mm-hm, it got hands," okay.

But you do all those things to yourself.

You beat yourself up, you put all those bruises,

their fingerprints, and then the fingerprints,

the hand marks, you do it yourself.

You just, you want sympathy.

- And that's exactly what they tell you,

"Well, if you wouldn't do this,

"you wouldn't have to be taught a lesson."

It's like, excuse me, my daddy didn't do this

when I didn't brush my teeth.

My daddy didn't do this

because I got a B on my spelling test.

I mean, come on.

- He had one redeeming trait, right?

He didn't hit the kids.

Well, my son got married three years ago,

when I went out there we sat and we talked,

we went out to dinner,

and he's telling me about all this stuff

from when he was little and the way he felt.

And I went all these years thinking

that one good thing was he didn't hit 'em.

No, but he left a lot more scars.

I almost think if he hit 'em it would've been better

than what's left because they carry this

for a lifetime, yeah.

I sit here, I do, I worry about my son a lot

that he's gonna be abusive.

He's got that potential, the temper's there,

and he keeps it very controlled,

and I'm so afraid that when he does let go.

It's gonna come out the same way

'cause that's all he saw and all he heard growing up.

He said to me, he said, "Mom, when I was eight years old,

"if I coulda found the key to the gun closet,"

he said, "I would've got the gun and I would've killed him."

And I said, I was talking to him just before he got married,

and I'm thinking, eight years old,

he woulda had a murder charge against,

I mean, he would've killed someone.

But it was the only way he knew to stop him.

He just wasn't big enough to do anything else

but to take a gun, you know.

And thank God that he didn't find the key

because he would have, he would have shot him.

- See, that's what a lot of people don't realize,

when you know, I hear a lot of women say,

"Well, he never hit my children."

I'm like, no, but if your child could've been

a little bit older, a little bit bigger,

he woulda went up to get in the way

to stop Daddy from beating Mom,

choking Mom, and what would've happened?

Wa-bam, across the room he would fly.

Next thing you know, the kid is hurt.

- But I always used to think that that was so great,

he didn't hit 'em, you know.

My daughter now, she picks abusive,

and they're not physically abusive, they don't hit her.

But it's the mental, and she's forever picking

the same type of men.

And I said to her, I said,

"You just can't be like your mother.

"Don't have dumb and stupid tattooed up here.

"and a neon sign flashing advertising for jerks."

But that's all seems to date are the ones

that are going to and it's the mental,

it's the mental abuse.

She's bulimic, and it all goes back.

It all goes, she's in counseling, thank God.

I mean, she had enough sense to go for that.

But it all goes back to that time when she was a kid,

and what they saw.

- [Woman] We gotta go.

- Oh, yeah, I gotta go, guys, bye-bye.

- [Woman] Buy-bye.

- Kids stuff, I need to go.

- [Woman] I came to talk to you.

- Does everybody know the history of this family?

Everybody in here know the history of this family?

- No. - Nope.

- Yes. - The child had tried

to hang herself a couple years ago in her backyard.

- Three years ago. - Three years ago.

- [Woman] She was six?

- [Woman] Yeah.

- [Woman] February of '95.

- [Man] The brothers weren't here

when they were here the first time.

- Right.

- The father was in federal prison for sexually abusing

two or more of the children on the reservation, correct?

They were American Indian.

- [Man] It's not clear whether it's those children

or children in general.

- [Woman] Sonny from Child Protection said

it was the grandfather, and the older brother.

- [Woman] Well, there was a lot of confusion about that--

- [Woman In Green] She told me last night,

is the biological father.

- [Woman] Yes.

- That the three kids, Katie and the two boys.

The two boys in the last two years were returned to her.

That's why she's out for two boys.

- [Man] That's why they were here.

- Mike's gonna try to find the files

because the kids team remembers the issue

was the older son had also sexually abused Katie.

- [Woman In Dark Green] Yes, he had, yeah.

- And now we've got an issue of this young man in shelter

with us, and if there was any treatment.

(woman talks off mic) Yes, ma'am.

- [Woman In Dark Green] Yes, he is.

- And if there's been any treatment.

- This is the same guy she was

here with about four years ago

and this is the same guy that when I went to the staffing,

to the children's protection team staffing,

this is the same guy that has a rap sheet like a mile long

who everybody's saying these kids shouldn't be around him,

we're gonna take custody of the kids.

I can't even remember all the stuff

the guy was arrested for.

- They've been together for four years.

- [Woman In Blue] Right.

- 'Cause she just meets and marries him.

And he's not the biological father.

- I know that Margaret is, she has a truth problem.

Do you know what I'm saying?

The truth changes from person to person,

and this is the same problem last time, okay?

And even though she was--

- [Woman] I don't remember Katie's has any counseling.

- Yes, even though she was more competent

in advocating for herself,

the inconsistencies were still there.

A lot of that was still there,

and I feel like there was still mental health issues

at that time too, even though she was more capable

of advocating for herself,

it was still not a good situation.

- During session, it was very difficult

to get a lot of information from her.

I just knew a lot from what I read

so I would ask a question about it

ad she wouldn't wanna go in detail,

and like you say, she would take like,

she had the marriage certificate,

and that's what she just kept staring at

and kept saying she didn't understand

why this is happening to her,

this was a commitment that they both made.

She would just go on and on about those issues

and it was very difficult to get her focused

on what I wanted to get information on from her

and what we wanted to work on these things with the kids.

And I could tell-- - I didn't get her

to sign the referral last night,

not because she didn't want to or because she objected,

but because she started to, got halfway through her name,

and then blanked out, she was in space.

She was looking in space and looking around

and she had half the referral signed,

and I'm standing there, I said, "Well, you know,

"go ahead and sign, it's your first one.

"We just have to," you know, the kids have to be supervised,

and then she started talking about,

"Well, I've gotta get my mail, I'm expecting a letter."

I mean, she really seems to be bouncing

from on place to another.

- [Woman In Plaid] And if you're gonna

need three children supervised--

- [Man] Yeah, and that's the problem.

- [Woman In Plaid] Katie put a jump rope around her neck

and kicked the chair out from under her on the playground.

It wasn't something that I think--

- [Woman] No, she meant to kill herself.

- [Woman In Plaid] Yeah, and she told us that.

- [Woman] She was Baker Acted for over 30 days.

- [Woman In Plaid] She told us that,

she said, "I wanted to die." - Severely depressed.

- She was six years old at that time?

- Yeah, it was terrifying, and--

- The problem is under normal circumstances,

this woman's obviously going through all kinds of stress,

and we would certainly be accommodating

as far as her not being able to supervise the children,

you know, we can work with her.

But under these circumstances

where we have a child who's attempted suicide in the shelter

and we have children who probably are suspected

of sexual abusing their sibling

or possibly other children, we can have them unsuper--

there's nothing we can, we can't have those kids in here

with all of the other kids unsupervised.

So, it's a real problem in that she is apparently not able

to keep them supervised because of her condition,

and we're not able to have them unsupervised.

So, we have a little bit of a problem here.

- [Woman] So, what about the interest--

- She could've received five referrals yesterday.

They've been unsupervised five times in the last 24 hours.

- [Woman] What did Vicky say?

And that was it?

- Okay, in reference to the mental health,

she just put down that she was just rambling on

a period of time after work, asked a few question,

she can't stay focused, okay,

expressed feelings of depression, confusion, numbness.

She has feelings of guilt and shame over abuse.

Okay, she was very tearful throughout the interview,

very poor eye contact.

Oh, she also put down spent a lot

of time staring at the marriage certificate,

which she did when she was in session with me.

Appears to be numb at times, deny history

of hallucination or self injury.

Denies any suicide attempts.

- [Woman In Blue Turtleneck] Well.

(softly talks off mic)

- Well, this is in reference to Margaret.

- [Woman In Blue Turtleneck] Right, well, no, no, no,

I think--

- [Woman In Green] Okay.

- I think that when I was at that staffing,

I think Margaret's therapist was there too

and I think that there had been.

- [Woman In Green] Okay.

- Maybe even more than one,

but once again, that's just my memory.

- [Woman] Have been what?

- Suicide attempts, on Margaret's, on--

- [Woman] Margaret attempting suicide

or Margaret feeling suicidal? - Yes, yes.

- Vicky has down Celine's husband of four years, Kline,

has been with him almost four years.

He has been verbally, physically, sexually abusive.

Celine uses marijuana, Kline has past history of drug abuse

and alcohol, but has been clean for four years.

When I met with her today, she told me no,

that he's still on drugs.

- [Woman] He is.

- So, that's another concern there.

- [Woman] He said everyday.

- [Woman] So, how did they take,

you made the report to the Department of Children

and Families, and what did you say and what did they say,

and why did they take the report?

- Well, they took the report on the...

I told the guy pretty much the whole,

quick little, you know, a condensed version of the story.

- [Woman] The years, yeah,

over the years. - The years, the years,

over the years version, they took the report

on the fact that the kids of course have witnessed

all this domestic violence,

but then they also took the report

on the fact that I said that I didn't really know

how capable the mom was of taking care of those kids

'cause she wasn't, you know.

- [Woman] But did you explain there was a threat

to harm because of the-- - Oh yeah, well,

they wouldn't take anything

about the sexual abuse child on child.

- [Woman] Right.

- And it's all kinda like alleged, you know what I'm saying?

None of them have said this happened--

- [Man] But now Katie,

during her hospitalization last time--

- [Woman] Right.

- Had said some things that made the therapist

at the crisis center believe that she had been--

- [Woman] Oh, absolutely.

- Assaulted by her brother.

- [Woman] Absolutely.

- But because she was six years old

and because she was in crisis at the time,

it was never substantiated.

So, there is reason to believe that it's just--

- [Woman] There is, I'm just saying they even--

- She was a six-year-old child and it's unclear,

if I remember it right, it had something to do with a dream.

I think she spoke in terms of dreams.

- [Woman] Yeah, she kept saying, "I had these dreams."

- That she had dreams that she was being abused

which is common for young children

when they've been sexually assaulted.

- [Woman] She was having dreams that she had been raped.

- Right.

- [Woman] Which is kind of a word

that you wouldn't hear a six-year-old using.

- [Woman] 'Cause we don't know that she's done anything

for any of those situations.

- [Woman] Exactly, that's the other thing--

- [Woman] The kids were in foster care, the two brothers?

- [Woman] No, they were with the grandmother.

- Right, allegedly.

- [Woman In Plaid] They were with the grandmother,

what were you gonna say?

- The six-year-old, when she was six years old,

the accuser was the biological father

and did they find that?

Was there a found case, what exactly happened?

- Yeah, there was a found case against he biological father.

The biological father was arrested

and he was in federal prison,

not just for abusing his own kids,

but basically the man was like classified,

from what I remember correctly, he was basically--

- [Man] A serial pedophile?

- Yeah, a pedophile, and he was

not only abusing his own kids,

he was abusing other people's kids.

But the man at HRS said, you know,

"We can't take child-on-child reports."

And if something comes of that,

then we're supposed to just call the police department,

but they can't, they wouldn't take the report on that.

They took the report on the fact--

- [Woman In Bright Green] They took the report though.

- They took the report on the fact

that the kids have been exposed

to this ongoing domestic violence,

and the fact that there was drug use in the home,

and the fact that the...

The mom's talking about going back to him,

and the fact that the mom's...

Perhaps right now, not capable of, you know, watching.

- So, if HRS comes out and doesn't take children,

what is the decision to be made regarding these boys

that are alleged perpetrators?

- They need to be supervised.

If there's no confirmation that they sexually abused anyone,

we can't recommend treatment

for them for being perpetrators.

Right now, she's not in any condition

to tell us what happened in her family.

(birds chirping)

(rain lightly tapping)

- You know, we have one lady, Marjorie,

who is 72, she's married 50 years.

- Like Granny, you remember--

Oh, you didn't work here when Granny was here.

- No.

- Her husband was a USF professor,

retired USF professor, they were married for over 50 years,

and she came here,

and all of her children hated her

for leaving-- - Hated her?

- Uh-huh. - For leaving?

- For leaving, they didn't believe

that their father could do this.

- Wow. - Who was her case manager?

They worked hard, and finally got her

into a retirement place and she had made all these friends,

but she went back after she had been here a couple months

to that man. - But went back to the guy?

- Mm-hm. - Oh.

- It was pressure from her family.

- But this lady has two children,

I think it's a son and a daughter,

but they're really supporting her.

He tried to burn the house down with her in it,

she had to jump out a window.

- Kinda like Dolores.

- And so, he kept her like, I guess, in one room

and let her, I don't know how he did this,

but for like two hours was just verbally abusing her,

humiliating her, and then he started,

I think he smokes or something,

(phone ringing) and started threatening

that he was gonna burn the house,

and actually started like lighting fires.

(phone ringing)

Yeah, so he tried, so she had to leave through a window

so she's got the bruises on her arms.

(softly mumbles off mic)

She's happy as can be here though.

- [Woman] Is she?

- Oh, yeah. - You can always tell the ones

who really need to be here.

- Yeah, she's so happy, and she says she feels so great

and she loves everybody here, she just has been able

to laugh and you know, do her thing.

It's a sad situation because he's so old,

she says, "I feel so sorry for him,

"I know he can't make it on his own,"

like, "who's gonna feed him?"

Who's gonna do anything?

- He wasn't worried about her, was he?

- The son, I think, called up to see if he was okay,

and he started doing it to his son.

But he's probably senile, I mean,

who knows what's happening now at this point.

- [Woman] How old is he, 79?

- He's about 79, so at this point, it's probably too late.

What's sad is that she's let it go on for 50 years.

She should have left a lot, a lot, lot, lot sooner.

We went in there for a belongings pickup

and he was in bed, and the police wouldn't go in there,

the police said, "Boy, he's really sleeping sound."

So, they're talking to me and she's getting her things,

and she went over there, and she said,

"My God, I went over there and I didn't hear him breathing."

(laughing)

And so, I was like, oh.

But no, he's okay, 'cause the neighbors said

that they saw him come out and do the sprinklers.

Interesting though because they live in a very nice place.

- I just got a page just now in the kitchen.

Me and Debbie was standing up there, three sixes.

- [Henry] you got a page?

- Yeah.

- [Henry] How many of those have you gotten?

- It started Saturday, Saturday evening.

I received about three of them, everything was 666-666.

Sunday morning, I got two, you know, sixes.

I got a third page, and I dialed the number,

it was Wilson's Funeral Home.

Had a 911 page, and I called the number,

and it said, Wilson's Funeral Home.

And I told 'em, I said, you know,

"I'm sorry, someone put this in my pager."

Last night at work, same thing, and then he called.

- [Henry] Where did he get that pager?

- I got this since,

before I got out of shelter, I bought this.

I didn't have it before.

- [Henry] You didn't have it when you were with him.

- No.

- [Henry] And he wouldn't know--

- No.

- [Henry] How to get that telephone number.

- Right.

- [Henry] I wonder how...

Resourceful, to say the least. - Yeah.

- Have there been any other incidents?

- He called about a month ago.

- [Henry] To where?

- To Cash & Carry, and when I answered the phone,

he was like, "Don't hang up."

And I mean, of course, I was shocked to death,

you know, here's this person on the phone,

so I listened to what he had to say.

So, you know, he went on to tell me that I thought that I,

you know, he won after all.

I cost him $10,000 to stay free

but you know, I started it, he finished,

and he came out on top since he got off scot-free,

with it or whatever.

So I told him, I said, "I don't want to have anything

"to do with you," you know what I'm saying?

"It's done, it's over with, I have to accept

"what has happened," you know what I'm saying?

Of how the turnout came.

"Nothing against you, if I see you on the street

"and you wanna speak to me, that's fine.

"But there's nothing else."

And he was telling me, no, it's not gonna be that way.

You know, it's gong be, "You cannot call the shots,"

you know what I'm saying?

"You took me through this anticipation

"of not knowing whether I was gonna go

"to jail or whatever for over a year,

"and I beat you in that.

"So now, it's my turn."

Okay, hung up the phone, I didn't know what to do.

I didn't say anything to anybody.

I did say, you know, I told Lisa I didn't know what to do.

I didn't hear anything from him.

He didn't show up or anything like that,

and then last night, it was like your time has run out.

- [Henry] What happened last night?

- He called me at work, and he told me, he said,

"Have you thought about what I said?

"You're gonna have to deal with me now."

And I'm like, "No, you know why?

"Everything is done and over with.

"Why don't we just leave that in the past or whatever."

He's like, "I'm not playin' with you."

He said, "Well, you might recording this phone call

"so I'm not gonna say anything to incriminate myself."

- [Henry] Is there any reason why you talk to him

when he calls?

- [Woman] Is there any reason why?

I mean, I'm trying to, you know,

he tells me he knows where I live.

- Is there any reason why you can't just hang up the phone?

- No there is, I mean, I really should.

But I'm trying to feel this person out,

Henry, I'm trying to see--

- [Henry] Feel him out for what?

- I mean, I don't know what he might do.

He tells me he knows where I live,

he tells me, you know, "I know where The Spring is,

"I know," you know what I'm saying?

And all this here, so of course--

- [Henry] Do you know what he's doing?

- He has my attention.

- [Henry] Certainly does.

- I mean that, I realize that.

- [Henry] The longer he keeps you on the phone,

the more of your attention he's going to get.

(sighs)

Can you see how it's got you?

- Of course, but who likes not knowing,

you know what I'm saying?

They mysteries of not, you understand what I'm saying?

At least, I mean, I feel that...

I mean, I know that this person,

when I thought all this was just gone,

almost two years have come, I thought that this was over.

And I mean, I'm going on with my life

and I realize this monster has just come back,

you know what I'm saying?

That he wasn't, he was just resting a minute,

do you know what I'm saying?

And he has a different strategy.

Of course, I would like to know.

I mean, I have my kids, I mean--

- [Henry] For what?

What would you like to know and for what reason?

- I mean, I would like to, I mean--

- [Henry] Do you think that if he's going to strike,

he's going to let you know

when he's going to strike exactly?

Or is he just going to lead you on and on and on,

and make your life miserable,

and then possibly do something?

- I think he's capable of doing something, I mean,

you know, Henry, I mean, you know what I'm dealing with,

you know what I'm saying?

- Well, I'm also thinking that by you talking to him,

maybe that'll be enough for him.

If he sees that he's getting to you

and you're still engaging in him in conversation

or you're responding to his conversation,

that may be enough to keep him

from doing something more seriously,

because if he does something more seriously,

then the game's over.

- Okay, but what happens when the rejection comes?

Okay, every time I have rejected him

or not done anything, then he's always done something.

- He's harassed you, okay?

He's called you after he was acquitted,

and he's basically beginning to harass you again.

- [Woman] Right.

- And he's doing it over the telephone, that's illegal.

But what you have to do is put together enough of a case

to nail him for it.

And now, there's two things we can do.

We can either talk to an investigator

at the State Attorney's Office

to see if they can do something about this

in terms of either setting something up,

but he calls so infrequently at your work that--

- [Woman] Yeah, he's smart,

he's smart enough to do that. - Right, so he may not

get caught that way, so one way to get his attention

would be to not respond to his calls.

You can do one of two things.

You can change your pager number--

- [Woman] I am.

- Or not respond to unknown pages.

The best thing to do to keep you from getting upset

is to change your pager number.

That way, if he finds it again,

then maybe there's something out there

that he's tapped into.

- Well, that's what I'm saying,

it has to be something.

But I'm saying, Henry, you know I have given up my house,

I've moved where I have been rooted at for 10 years.

I have done everything, I don't go out, I don't visit.

I mean, my whole life has changed because of this man.

And it's just not fair, you know,

first thing Mable said was,

"Do you wanna move, do you need to move?"

Well, that's not fair for me to have to keep running

from him. - No, it's not fair,

but you know what happens with stalkers?

The only time and the best way to get 'em to stop stalking

is when they don't know where you're at.

Because law enforcement, law enforcement can go out there.

These people are obsessive, they're obsessive,

and if law enforcement goes out there

and they do their thing,

and these people still keep coming back

and it's difficult to get them violated on injunctions

because they're smart enough to not get caught,

they don't leave a big trail.

- [Woman] Of course.

- They don't leave a big trail and even when they do,

sometimes they can get away with it,

and what I have heard is that the best defense

for somebody who's being stalked is to disappear.

- But Henry, I just did that.

I mean, here we're looking at--

- Well, maybe you didn't do it far enough.

You're in the same town, he still knows where you work.

He found out where you work, so he knows where you're at

and all he's gotta do is, if doesn't do it himself,

is send somebody over to where you work

and follow you home someday.

- Well, of course, I'm sure that's what happened.

But at the same token, that's not fair to me,

you know what I'm saying?

I have done that one time.

I mean, I'm strong enough now to take a stance

and not run, you understand what I'm saying?

The only thing that I fear is the fact

that I work two jobs and I work at night.

My kids are there.

This is my point.

That the reason why I'm so afraid and the reason why--

I cannot believe I am right at this point all over again.

And I've struggled for almost two years of battling this

and it has got me nowhere, I'm back to Point A again.

This is not fair.

- [Henry] I know it's not fair.

- [Man On Speaker] Dotty, you have a call parked on 1,

Dotty, you have a call parked on 1.

- So now you tell me I'm supposed to run.

- [Henry] I'm not telling you

you're supposed to run. - No, I'm just say--

- I'm telling you that one

of the most effective ways to get him to stop

is for you to disappear, and it's not necessarily running.

These guys are obsessive.

And unless they can be permanently nailed in some way,

and even then, you know, he could go to jail

for three or four years and come out as bad or worse,

because that's the obsession.

They don't stop, they don't stop, often they can't stop.

- Of course, I know, I mean, I know how smart he is

and how shrewd, and I have to outsmart him.

- [Henry] How can you protect yourself, what measures

have you taken so far? - That's what I wanna know.

I'm coming to you, I've gone to Mable, I mean,

I'm open for whatever, I don't know what to do, Henry.

I don't know, I know I don't wanna run,

I'm tired of running.

- If we can't file a petition for injunction,

and if he's not doing anything

that rises to a violation of a criminal statute,

there's not much that law enforcement can do

even to start to get involved with him.

Probably over the last two years,

he learned a lot about how to avoid detection.

- [Woman] Right, of course.

- While he was going through that criminal prosecution.

- [Woman] Right.

- And it's going to be difficult to track him

if he is not making any mistakes.

Well, let's see how we can protect you

as opposed to trying any kind of confrontation with him,

because one of the things

that we don't wanna do is antagonize him

and cause him to do something.

But we do want to see if there's something we can do

to beef up the security around you

and your home and your work, and in that process,

possibly catch him doing something.

But that's up to the experts,

which will be the law enforcement people.

- It's just not fair for one person to be able

to just have all of this con--

You know what I'm saying?

I know what you're saying, right.

- [Henry] I understand,

but this isn't a matter of fairness.

- I know that, I'm just saying, me as a...

That's right, I know that, I realize that.

(sighs)

(people chattering off mic)

- [Counselor] Are there people here that have spouses

with alcohol or drug problems?

- Yeah, definitely, that's like

when he would start getting angry and stuff,

is when he was drinking.

And then he would blame it on the drugs and alcohol.

The drugs and the alcohol did not make him do what he did.

- [Counselor] Exactly.

- It was an excuse, and that's what he used.

- [Woman] That's his defense.

- Yeah, it was a very...

I don't know.

- [Counselor] And who poured the alcohol down his throat?

- Really.

I mean, he blamed it on the alcohol,

and drugs and stuff like that.

And he did have problems with alcohol and drugs.

But the alcohol and drugs weren't the ones

that were hitting me, he was the one that was hitting me.

- [Counselor] Right, and he's the one that chose

to do the alcohol and the drugs.

- The abuser can be anybody, I mean, think about it,

you watch all these people walking down the street--

- [Woman] And nine out of the 10--

- Yeah, nine out of 10 of them have abused somebody

at some point in their life, not just men, but women too.

- [Counselor] Either abused or been abused.

Or both. - Yeah.

- [Counselor] Of the majority of them.

- [Woman] That's discerning.

- But yeah, a lot of times, you can spot

red flags and stuff like that.

And I know that they were talking about it

in the other group, I wasn't in that group, but you know,

how a person comes off to you.

If they move to fast.

And sometimes, all they tell you is that you look good

or much they wanna get in your pants.

That's all they want, you know.

- [Counselor] Most of your batterers fall

in love very quickly, they talk about love very quickly.

- Don't a lot of the victims do that though too.

- [Counselor] But remember were talking in the beginning

about the codependency issues, and needing someone?

Well, if you've got this big black hole of emotional need

and somebody comes along willing to fill it for ya,

and they're telling you everything you need to hear,

it's easy to fall into that trap.

- My thing was a double thing though

'cause he asked me to move in with him

a couple days after we started going out together,

and then about two weeks later, he asked me to marry him,

but he was also, I felt like he needed me

'cause his mother had just died.

And he was just like this lost little boy

that needed something there to fill the void with him too,

but I've been, like she said, the same way,

I've always felt like I needed him,

a relationship, or I wasn't gonna be a whole person,

and it felt like I always had something there.

- [Counselor] To get a healthy relationship,

you have to get yourself to be a whole person first.

- [Woman] Or other times where we look

to them as our father figures.

- When my father died, my mother, he beat her a lot.

My ex-husband beat me and I finally left him after 12 years

and then my sons grew up to become the same way with me.

Both of my sons have battered me at one point in time.

My youngest is 14 and I had him arrested last time

for hitting me, 'cause he didn't wanna go to school.

Anytime he did something he didn't like,

he would lash out at me, and hit me,

I constantly had bruises on me.

Even if he was just like playfully,

you know how kids kinda just--

- [Woman] Mess with you.

- Kids are going punching each other, little boys,

I said that's not what you do to your mother,

that's what you do with your buddies or something.

But I always always having bruises all over

maybe 'cause I bruise real easily in the first place,

but he'd punch me when he'd get mad

because I wouldn't give him something he wanted or whatever.

- [Counselor] But they learn that it works

and lot of times when they hit their teens,

they're bigger than you. - No, see he had never seen

his father abuse me 'cause I left his father

when he was 2 years old, but the oldest one had.

So, when he was about 14 or 15, he started,

he smacked me around a couple times.

The worst thing he ever did was pull a knife on me

and that's when I called the police.

My oldest one seems to have changed

quite a bit right now, he's married now.

And I already told his girlfriend,

"If he ever does anything, hits you, then,

"if he tells me no and you tell me yes,

"I'm not gonna believe him, I'm gonna believe you,"

'cause I know how he is, and I know what he can be like.

He is very controlling of her,

but not as much as he used to be.

So, I think he's changing and he's finally growing up,

and that makes a difference there

and his father doesn't do it anymore,

and my father never abused his second wife

after he left my mother.

He was married for 25 years, never abused her.

He was still an alcoholic when he was married to her.

So, why does he beat one and not the other?

- Maybe with one, he could get away with more.

- I guess.

- Just because they have a penis

doesn't make them have a crown.

(laughing) For real--

- [Woman] (softly mumbles) Can you do this for me now?

- Yeah.

- [Woman] Now, that's exactly what he said.

- It gets overwhelming.

I mean, just because you're male,

you know.

- [Counselor] It doesn't, generally,

matter whether you're sick or not either.

If you're sick, or you're hurt, or whatever,

they still expect everything.

- Yeah.

- Every night when we were going to bed,

my wallet would get locked up in his safe

on his side of the bed.

Because you can't leave without that.

When he would go to work, "Give me your wallet."

Because that has your driver's license,

it's all your ID, your checkbook, your bankcard, everything.

So, the wallet rides with him and sits locked up in the car

while he's at work, and at night.

Yes, you have lots of money.

I always had lots of money

because I never had my wallet to spend it.

He had it all, every bit of it.

And that was like, you know,

I thought that was okay for a long time.

I really did.

I thought that kind of stuff was what I, you know.

Everybody does that, we're living in bad times,

you can't be here alone with that amount of money on you.

- [Counselor] Right.

But he can drive around in a car

with that amount of money. - Yeah, oh,

but he carries guns.

- [Counselor] Oh.

- I'm afraid of guns, so he carries guns, he has guns.

He can protect himself, he's a man too.

They're much stronger than we are.

We have no, you know.

We bear the weight of the world on our shoulders,

but they're stronger.

- [Counselor] Right.

You don't have anybody to tell you

that you're not all these terrible things he says you are.

When he tells you you deserve it

and there's nobody to bounce any of this off of,

you start to believe it.

There's no reason to leave.

What all of these things are together

are brainwashing techniques.

These are the same techniques they use

in concentration camps, they use in cults,

in use with political prisoners,

to break down their defenses.

'Cause once you believe you deserve what you're getting,

what do you do?

Try to fix it.

You work harder and harder

to be better and better with the idea

that when you're good enough, it's gonna stop.

- He had my son and my daughter telling me,

"If you'd just shut your mouth, Mommy,

"if you'd just be quiet, Mommy, don't say anything.

"Mommy, if you'd just stop.

"If you'd just be quiet, you won't get hit."

But they don't understand even if you're quiet,

you're gonna get hit, it doesn't matter.

You know, I just figured if I was gonna get hit,

I was gonna get hit for something.

So, I was just gonna have to say what I have to say

because I was gonna get it anyway.

- Anybody in here ever been hit in their sleep?

- Oh!

(laughing)

(woman talking off mic)

I woke up hitting a wall.

And I actually found myself calling for him.

You know, you're sleeping, and I mean,

my face went running into this wall,

and my first thought was somebody had broke in

and I was screaming for him, you know, like, "Help."

And it's like you have that few minutes

and especially after you hit the wall

'cause you're half asleep but you're really dazed

after you hit that, it doesn't sink in that it's him.

- [Counselor] Right.

- You know, he's come in the house,

I didn't hear him come in, I didn't hear anything,

I mean, I hit the wall.

More times than not, that's the way you get woke up.

- [Woman] Or pushing you off the bed.

- I got dragged out of bed, and dragged on the floor

and then he started beating me on the head.

He hit me so hard on the side of the head

that I was deaf in one ear for about three weeks.

- That's what mine does.

If I try to like ignore him and go to sleep,

try to crawl into bed and say I don't wanna fight anymore,

he'll rip off the bedsheets, the pillowcases,

he'll take everything, the mattress.

If I'm still laying on the mattress, the mattress goes.

And then if the mattress and me are on the floor,

then that goes as me and he's dragging me of that mattress

by my feet to get the fight going,

and all I wanna do is go to sleep.

- I didn't always give into him, I don't know, I wasn't...

What you'd call submissive.

There were times when I was.

Just 'cause you know, it's like,

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of it.

So, I did what he wanted for a while.

And the isolation,

the isolation was one of his biggest things, and...

I don't know where it would fit in,

but making you dress the way he wants and stuff like that,

'cause he would have me walking around

in this gunny sack looking thing with my hair wrapped up

in this dirty old handkerchief thing.

If his friends came over, they could sit in the living room,

I sat at the kitchen table.

I wasn't to read or nothing, I just sat there

and listened to their conversation.

If they wanted something, if I heard they wanted something,

I better jump up and get it right now.

I could say hi to them, that was fine,

hi was as far as it went, you know.

If one of them started talking to me,

I would get in trouble for it

because I was looking too sexy.

Yeah!

- My ex blamed my family for our problems

and when we broke up and stuff,

like I had plans to see my aunt the next day,

and all a sudden, I wake up in the morning,

and he's mad at me, he had took off--

(loudly clatters)

Took off the day from work without letting me know

and he had wanted me to go to the laundry mat with him

and I said, "Well, my aunt's coming over."

Then he gets all pissed off and then what he said to me was,

"That's why we broke up the last time,

"because of your family."

He says, "You know, you need to choose,"

and I'm, choose?

That's not something you do.

- [Counselor] You have to keep giving up people.

- I don't know if I'm the only woman in here

but I know mine used to seem to attack me more

when I was just, didn't have very many clothes on,

you know what I mean?

- [Woman] Yeah.

- Like if I'm fixin' to go to bed,

where I only got my panties on,

or a little nightie on, and then it was quick

to put me out of the house like that

'cause he knew I wasn't gonna go anywhere,

and he'd always set me out the front door

like I was little puppy, and say,

"Go, why don't you just go?"

And here I am, practically naked,

like where am I gonna go?

But then i started to get on my control where,

"I really don't care, I'll walk down the street butt naked

"just to get away from you,"

and as soon as I headed off down the road,

(laughing) he'd come get me.

- [Woman] Spin back back up, "I'm sorry, baby."

- Yeah, you know?

But that's just, if I come in the house late,

and I was just you know in that changing clothes method,

and I didn't really have anything on,

that's when the fighting started and I was put outside.

And he, I was just wondering, I mean--

- Trust me, when it gets bad enough,

when the butt whoopin' gets bad enough,

it doesn't matter.

Down the main road,

right down the middle of the road running

and didn't care who saw, didn't,

and couldn't figure out why cars won't stop.

I'm serious, I'm trying, I mean,

hair's wild, you know, your blood all over,

and no clothes on, and you're like,

and you're trying to stop these cars.

I mean, they're slowing down to look, they really are,

but they're going right on by.

And I'm not even thinking, you know, look,

he just ripped all my clothes off.

I didn't even think about it

'til I got to my friend's house,

I knocked on the door, Lillian opened the door

and she's like,

you know?

She's like, "How did you get here?"

And I'm like, "Right down Springs Road," you know?

Came right down the road, and she's like,

"You came down there?"

I said, "Right down the middle."

Because I mean, the side of the roads,

there's bushes, he could be there, you know?

Right down the middle, running.

And then it was like, "Oh, by the way, do you have a sheet?"

Not even clothes, just a sheet, something.

You don't think about it, you go, you go.

But I really couldn't figure out why people wouldn't stop.

- [Woman] People don't wanna get involved.

- [Blonde Woman With Glasses] I mean, yeah, I mean.

(woman talking off mic) (laughing)

- People don't wanna get involved

because it isn't their problem,

they figure, I don't know what they're thing is,

I mean we had--

- [Blonde Woman With Glasses] They don't wanna get involved.

- We had some friends who had gone

through the same thing the week before,

and he had slapped his wife and then he put a huge bruise

on her arm, I mean, it kinda looked

like what I have on my arm.

Only she didn't have surgery to get.

But me and him, we were there all the time,

trying to help these people work it out,

lettin' him know it was not okay to hit.

And Julio was all up in it, you know,

"That's wrong to hit your woman, you don't hit your woman,"

you know, stuff like that.

And then, I mean, I did everything for them.

I cooked them meals, I took care

of their baby and stuff like that.

And then when it happened to me,

I turned around and when I ran down there

and I was telling them, you know,

"Call the police, he's trying to kill me."

She closed the door, she opened the door

and she says, "It's not my problem,"

and slammed the door on my face.

"I ain't gettin' into it."

You know, it's like, thanks a lot,

if this is what friends are, who needs enemies?

- [Blonde Woman With Glasses] Don't you love the man

who jump into that situation and say,

"You don't hit your woman, you don't do that,"

and then they turn around and go right in the house and,

"Man, bitch, what was you doing out there talkin' to him,"

and slap the hell out of you.

- Right. - But yet right there,

out on our deck at the barbecue,

he jacked that man right on up.

He'll say, "Man, you don't hit your woman,

"what's wrong with you?"

All this good stuff, when we walked in the house,

and he's like, "What were you doing talking to him?

"You're getting involved, you're trying to make,"

and knocked me across the room.

- Okay, a few weeks ago, his dad got murdered.

He lost two children in a car accident,

and okay, this was his excuse

for everything, about all he lost, stuff like that.

Sure, it's gonna bother you that your father died

and that your kids died.

I woulda went psychotic.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna go beat up the first person I see.

- [Counselor] He probably wasn't beating up the first person

he saw either. - No.

- [Counselor] Was he beatin' people in the streets?

- No, but I mean, first relationship, you know.

I wouldn't go beat somebody because of it, you know?

- I got six kids, I gotta get stuff done.

- [Counselor] Did you go to the family counseling?

- It was great, it was great,

we have another appointment this week.

- [Counselor] Good.

- There was some anger, but everything came out

and then he's gonna get a peer counseling that they have

for the kids, no, she said they had already started.

So, what she'll do is take him alone and let him talk,

but it would be confidential.

- [Counselor] Lead by himself.

- Right.

- And so, he wants you to come in

on the sessions, but they are great.

They're good, I mean, really good with families

and that's why I recommended that you go there.

- [Woman] I really liked her, she is really good,

she's very tolerant. - Good, good.

- [Woman] 'Cause Alexandra was everywhere.

- What about you, what did you get out of it?

- I got just to let them talk.

All this time, I thought, well,

let them get out everything about their dad,

and then it dawned on me...

There may be some things they need to get out about me.

(laughs) - [Counselor] That's right.

- And so, that's what I told, let go, talk.

- [Counselor] It's like I told you, there isn't instructions

when being a parent and let them talk,

and verbalize how they're feeling,

and what their needs is and you take it

from there, and good. - You've seen the anger

on Amanda's face just about simple stuff.

You know, she was like, "We couldn't talk

"while we're eating dinner," and that really bothered her.

- [Counselor] Yes, because they're angry.

They're angry with him, even though they don't show it.

They're angry with him, and as well,

is they could be angry with you too.

- [Woman] I thought about that.

- They could be angry with you too, so that,

I mean, the counseling, the family counseling is best

and continue to keep going there because it is.

- [Woman] We have an appointment this week

that I've gotta keep.

(chattering off mic)

- Whoever is on this wing upstairs,

the second window from the end needs to watch their child

because everyday, I pick up their toys.

Plastic Easter eggs yesterday,

all the little toys, they're all out there.

There's no screen in the window,

somebody's not watching their kid.

- You don't know what the name

of that room is, do you? - No, but I just know,

I know it's the second window from the end upstairs,

I could see it, there's a screen in the window--

- [Woman In Blue Vest] Okay is it the one with the cartoons?

- [Woman With Collared Shirt] When shew as in the hospital,

that the dream was that her brother had raped her.

Do you remember that?

- [Woman In Dress] Yeah.

- And the father was in federal prison

for raping all of the children.

And the problem is, well it's not a problem,

our concern is that he's in shelter too,

and we wanna do the right thing by him.

- Right.

- But we also have to protect the other 30 kids

that are in here, 35.

So, we just need to figure out

if he's never received any type of treatment,

Children and Families can demand that.

But she didn't have them when she was here last time.

- Right, no, this is the first time I've seen the boy.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- And they're so...

Poor things, they're...

They just kind of walk around and circle Mom,

they're almost like, pilot fish or something,

just circling her, she's in the middle

and they're just making this circle, you know?

Like an animal would circle someone that was,

you know, an animal that was in danger,

that was dying or something.

It's just terrible to watch them in the hall.

Mom stood in the hall last night,

she wouldn't let them go on the field trip.

She stood in the middle of the hall,

and the three children just went around her.

- Very sad case.

- We have a pending date here of 5/22 to move.

- [Woman] Cool.

- [Woman] Woo-hoo!

- [Woman] Where's she going?

- [Woman] To her house.

- She's going to her own house.

- [Woman] Okay.

- The one that I told you about last week.

- [Woman] Okay.

- [Woman] It's not too far from here.

- Hm?

- [Woman] It's not too far from here.

- No, it's on 25th Avenue.

- [Woman] Right.

- And Renita informed me that she would start,

she was going to apply for Healthy Start.

It's a 40-hour week and when she starts at school,

she'll be working 20 hours.

And I'm not sure what's going on with the case,

but I do know that last week,

he had told me that he was going to close it.

I'm not sure if he did or not,

I didn't talk with him this week, Cory,

but from what I understand is, Renita was very upset

because it didn't do anything to her husband.

But I think the reason they did not file charges

against her husband is because they would also have

to file charges against her for failure to protect.

And that's why they said, "A-OK, it's been a year ago,

"what we're going to do is just drop it."

But all of you know that there is

some problems with Tampa Bay Academy where he works.

- There's no law that says you have

to file charges against her for failure to protect,

that's a crock, those kids were--

- [Woman In Dark Sweater] No, I'm not saying he said that,

but we're thinking that. - I know it's not,

let me just tell you why,

those kids were in group yesterday, okay?

We drew the worst abuse that ever happened in your life.

Both those kids said and drew the worst abuse

that ever happened in their life

was being beaten bloody with an extension cord.

They drew a picture of it, okay?

We got the Department of Children and Family Services,

that's their job to protect children,

and here's these two kids telling us,

"This man beat us bloody

with an extension cord-- - Look, look, look, look--

- And now he works with kids. - Wait a minute,

wait a minute-- - And he works with children

and they won't do anything about it.

- [Woman In Dark Sweater] Wait just a minute,

not only did they draw that, okay,

he admitted that he did this.

- Thank you. - Okay.

- [Woman] And that 14-year-old boy has been asked

to show his backside to a stranger,

how much more-- - How much more do you want?

- [Woman] How much more abusive can you get than that?

I mean, this isn't a question--

- [Woman In Dark Sweater] He said that he was not--

- [Woman] He's been nasty to her, he's been

outright nasty to her. - Yes, he's not going,

and when I call, I feel like I'm--

- [Woman] Cory has been--

- I feel like that I'm calling him,

calling for information and he sounds

like I'm intruding on something, you know?

- [Man] Right.

- [Woman] Yeah but are they arresting him or charging him?

- [Women And Man Together] No.

- That's totally insane. - They are doing nothing.

- [Man] Apparently that's okay

with Department of Children and Family Services.

- [Woman] No, I hear that but

how would the Tampa Bay Academy know?

- [Man] They don't.

- Oh, they don't. - They don't.

- And he told the worker to the worker's face,

I don't think I beat him inappropriately or excessively,

I beat him 15 times, he's 14 years old.

- [Woman In Dark Sweater] He gave him 15 licks.

15 licks that cut through the skin.

- [Man] And that's apparently okay with this worker.

- [Woman In Dark Sweater] Apparently, I guess it is.

- But I will tell you all the good news is

Miss Evelyn has said, and I think

since Renita's come to terms with all of this,

the girls are having much better days.

That family, because she was so angry all the time,

I think, and intense, about what was gonna happen,

it's almost as if now it is them against the world,

it's their little family.

The girls aren't nearly as troubled.

I mean, everyday you go in there,

and they were up in arms about something,

they were disruptive, they were pulling and tugging at you,

so desperate for you to give them some sort of attention.

I mean, Miss Evelyn said this week

she's noticed a really big change

and I think some of it is Renita has decided,

"I will have to go on with my life."

- She came to see me this week

to talk the same thing about DJ

and about a possible learning disability,

and also his clinginess,

and we talked about the idea

that when there's six kids in the family,

he wants attention and she says,

"You know, but I punish when he acts like that."

And I said, "Well that's attention."

At this point, he doesn't care,

he's got a lot of competition.

Even negative attention is something,

at least someone's paying attention.

And as soon as I said it, it registered.

She's like, "Oh, I never thought about this."

So, she's certainly interested in working on it

and helping the kids, she's worried to death about DJ, and--

- We got all their physicals, we got all the information,

we need to get them placed in their public school,

it's just gonna be a transfer.

Alex is the youngest, right?

Alex will have a county Head Start program

which will run year-round so Mom can work,

which will be a big help.

- I've been subjected to so much violence

that I myself been violent.

When I am pushed to a point

where I don't wanna hear or take anymore, (loudly smacks)

the hitting starts, and I don't care

if it's a man or a woman. (loudly smacks)

I do not care.

But when somebody pushes me that far,

that's it, I can't take it anymore.

- [Counselor] But I'll argue with you on one point there.

If you allow yourself to be pushed that far,

notice I said you allow yourself to be pushed.

- See, that's what I mean.

- [Counselor] Okay, and that's really important

because you're the one that has to control your feelings.

- I have gotten up and walked away,

and this person followed me.

♪ Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na ♪

I took a screwdriver and was gonna stab him

to pieces with it.

- [Counselor] Okay, so this person's--

- So, we wound up arguing some more,

he fell, and I broke his ribs when I fell on top of him.

- [Counselor] Okay, so this person--

- And then when I broke his rib,

he punched me in the eye and give me a big ol' honker there.

- [Counselor] Okay, so it starts with him acting

like a jerk, he's calling you names and things.

- Uh-huh. - Okay.

- Then it just escalates.

- [Counselor] Okay, is he consistently being a jerk?

- Yeah, see, we lived in--

- [Counselor] Is it a surprise to you

when he behaves like a jerk? - We lived in this room,

and there was nowhere else for me to go but that room.

And if I'd go outside, he'd follow me outside.

If I stayed outside, he'd keep going,

and there was just, I'd say,

"Would you just shut up and leave me alone

"before you get something started?"

And he would never shut up.

- [Counselor] Why does the jerk's opinion matter so much?

(laughing)

- Well, his, it's, I don't know.

It's not really his opinion that mattered to me,

it was just the fact that I was trapped there

and I couldn't get away from his mouth.

If I coulda got away from his mouth,

if I coulda, if I was allowed to walk off

without him pulling me back across the yard

by the hair of the head,

if I was allowed to walk off,

then I coulda released all that

because I've done that a lot of times

where my mother or my kids, or somebody,

you know, really got under my skin and I just--

And take a walk and I was fine when I came back.

But if he would allow me to go for a walk

or something like that, then I woulda been fine.

- [Counselor] But would you say that

maybe emotional control of another person

is like the ultimate control?

- I would think so.

- [Counselor] And that's something we have to give

to someone, they can't take it from us, okay?

We give that to them. - Okay.

- [Counselor] Okay, that's why I asked you that question,

why does the jerk's opinion matter so much?

And I'm not talking about the physical stuff, okay?

But the verbal stuff that he says.

If you know he's a jerk, he's consistently a jerk,

always behaves as a jerk--

- Well, then my whole family's jerks. (laughs)

- [Counselor] But if you could tell yourself

what difference does his opinion matter

because he's a jerk, would you still feel as angry?

- I was never able to tell myself that.

What everybody thought of me mattered to me.

I don't care if it was some bum on the street

that was alcoholic and was laying there bleeding

or something, his opinion mattered to me, everybody,

because I was told all my life that I wasn't worth anything.

- [Counselor] So, how do you move from a point

of everybody's opinion mattering

to your opinion mattering?

- I didn't know I had one.

I didn't know I was allowed to have one.

(laughing) - [Counselor] Okay. (laughs)

Okay. - I'm serious,

I wasn't allowed to cry, I wasn't allowed to get angry,

I wasn't allowed to talk.

This is the most fun I've had in my whole life.

(laughing)

I mean, I'm around somebody who speaks Spanish

and they don't know that much English

and I'd better learn Spanish if I wanna talk to somebody.

My sister-in-law knows a little bit of English,

but there was nobody, for four years,

I've been stifled, so you know,

I didn't have an opinion of my own.

And even when I was growing up,

I wasn't allowed to speak at certain times.

I was told to shut up, be strong, don't cry,

don't be a wimp, you know, and my mother was very hard,

and the best part of her day was

when us girls would get in fights

with each other so she would have entertainment.

The hair-pulling, the biting, the scratching,

and the halfway killin' each other,

and she says the first one

that cries is gonna get their ass beat.

So we never cried, we never cried,

and that all had to stay inside.

And if you had an opinion of your own, Lord forbid,

I mean, you got whacked across the mouth and told,

"Get the out in the yard," she didn't wanna hear it.

- [Counselor] But as an adult in this place, here and now,

is it safe for you to feel?

- Yeah, I'm learnin'. (laughing)

- [Counselor] Okay, okay.

- I'm learning that I can go with my feelings,

that if I wanna cry, cry, if I wanna be angry, get angry.

If I wanna hit something, hit something,

but not someone, you know?

Just, you know, maybe, just--

- [Counselor] Punch a bag, a pillow.

- Yeah, yeah.

But I'm allowed to talk,

we were talking about this today, or this morning,

we're allowed to use the telephone!

We're allowed to talk!

We're allowed to have, you know,

I'm so scared that Hector's gonna see me using the phone.

I look around and make sure he's not there

because I made a phone call in front of him one time,

and he said I made three, and I only made one,

and he was choking me right there in front of the Circle K,

for something he thought was in his mind that I did.

So, I have to look around, and make sure. (laughing)

- [Woman] That's what I was going through.

- Or going to the 'frigerator at night,

it's my 'frigerator, it's my food,

and I'm looking for my mother, you know?

Expecting her to walk around the corner

and beat the crap out of me for stealing food.

- [Counselor] So, a lot of the old baggage

you're still carrying.

- Yeah, but I'm learning to release all that.

- [Counselor] Good.

- [Woman In Black] That's why I think

this place is so great for women,

'cause I love to work, I wanna work,

and there's no reason why I can't work.

- [Counselor] Right.

- [Woman In Black] I'm not out there like my husband said,

screwing everything that's on the assembly line.

Taking everything for a test drive.

I came to work, not play.

- [Counselor] Right.

- [Woman In Black] And that's what I love to do,

but try to convince him of that.

I'll give you a million dollars

if you can convince him of that.

- [Counselor] You never will.

- [Woman In Black] Nope.

- [Woman] No.

- [Counselor] But that's because of his own insecurities.

- [Woman In Black] Yes.

- [Counselor] That trigger his angry.

- [Woman In Black] Yes.

- [Counselor] And that's not something that you can control.

That's in his control. - And that's something

that I didn't cause to happen.

- [Counselor] That's right.

- [Woman In Black] That's not my fault.

- [Counselor] That's right, you're only responsible

for what you do, you're responsible

for your own feelings and what you do,

you're not responsible for someone else's feelings

and what they do.

- I'm not the problem.

- [Counselor] No.

- I know I got a big mouth and I got a temper.

But I'm not the problem.

"If you wasn't around, I wouldn't have no problems."

Yes, he would.

- If you've been brainwashed,

or if you believe this,

because I've only been married 7 years,

but I've been with my husband 10 years,

and he made all the decisions,

if I was sent to the store to get milk and bread,

if I saw something on sale

that we could very well use at the house,

I had to go call first

to see if it was okay to get it.

- [Woman] His permission.

- If I got a check in the mail for my older son

and I cashed it and spent it,

then I was stealing from the family,

and I believed that for a long time.

You know, if you're brainwashed, you're brainwashed

and I think the older women need some help in their areas,

but I think the younger women also need that help,

'cause a lot return back.

And if it's not that guy, it's another guy,

and keep returning back.

So, they may have been with the same abuser

for 16 or 20 years, but if they keep going back

and don't get it, you know.

And that's something you've gotta really do.

I mean, once you give 'em the tools,

then you gotta constantly use it.

Like what you were saying about

why does it, with the jerk,

does it matter what they say?

And at the end of our relationship,

a little before I filed an injunction,

he was just running his mouth.

And I would get ready to argue,

either I would start arguing and I'll stop and say,

"Forget it, I'm not arguing with you, it doesn't matter."

And I walk off, and he start, you know,

and don't tell me a person cannot argue by themselves.

- [Counselor] Oh, they can.

- He would argue, and argue, and argue,

and I shut up and keep ironing my clothes,

called my boss, "Come pick me up," and I left.

But my basic point is once that happens,

you gotta really wanna change, for one,

you gotta really be tired

of the crap you've been going through,

and then you gotta take all the tools that you're given

and go from there, and as far as balancing checkbooks

and learn how to do stuff like that, I think either/or,

if they have that problem, gotta learn it.

- [Counselor] It's interesting what you said there

because one of the things I heard in that statement was,

"When I got to the point

"to where it was like well,

"what does it matter what he says?"

- [Woman In Black Tank Top] Right.

- [Counselor] That's when you get strong enough to get out

because he wasn't emotionally controlling you anymore.

He wasn't able to manipulate those emotions.

You had control of your feelings.

He wasn't able to touch those.

That's what we're talking about

when I was trying asking you about

what does it matter what a jerk thinks, okay?

If you can get to the point

to where the opinion of somebody who's a jerk

doesn't really matter so much to you,

then they don't have that control over you,

that's somebody you have to hand to them.

Somebody can't take control of your feelings,

they're inside of you.

It's something we hand to somebody

because we care about them, okay?

- You know when he starts,

he can go all the way back to when we were first dating,

before our first child.

He can go back until, you know,

"And I bet you was this when you were little."

- [Woman] Yes.

- And I couldn't help but hearing him

and after I wouldn't respond,

then he would bring the kids in.

"Now, Cameron, didn't your mom," do this and such,

"and what do you think about this?

"Don't you think," da-da-da-da-da,

and they were like, "Well no, sir, I think," da-da-da-da-da.

"Well, y'all may think, but," and he would just keep going,

and keep going, and keep going.

And I could hear him on and on

and sometimes I was stuck to the room to just let him,

and I'm like, I'm not going to,

gotta go back and iron some more.

And either I'm just sitting there,

for a while, I just stood there and looked at him.

And he talked, and he talked, and he argued, and he yelled,

and he carried on, and nicked, and he picked.

But what I had come to term to realize,

and I heard him, and I couldn't stop hearing him,

he wouldn't have let me stop hearing him.

So, I didn't try to fight not hearing him.

I had to just decide it doesn't matter

because this is the same man who I cleaned,

me and the kids cleaned the whole house,

window sills, mini blinds, took everything

out of all the pantries in all the house,

scrubbed down walls, put it back,

cleaned the refrigerator,

this man came in and looked at the air-condition vents

and say they dusty.

So, I was at a point, I'm like,

there is nothing I can do to please you.

If you decide, if a person decides you're no good,

and that's what they choose to believe,

you can be as lily white as you want to,

you can just tiptoe in ballerina shoes all around him,

clean his toenails with your teeth,

(laughing) he is still goin' feel

like you no good, that's just it.

You're not worth the time of day

and I was thinking about it today, I had to deal with this.

I had on this outfit and someone said,

"You look nice in that outfit, it makes you look smaller,"

and I looked and I was like, okay.

And I said, "You know, if my husband was

to see me in this outfit, he would tell me

that I looked like a hippo in a tutu.

But that's how he sees me.

That's how he portrays me.

This is the same man that portrayed me

as one of the women on the Planet of the Apes.

And that's how he told me I looked.

And I believed him.

Now I have my own belief.

I can hear him, I can hear him and I'm away from him.

I had to talk to Vicky the other day,

I could hear him as he was saying it,

he told my mom, but I choose not to believe him.

And I knew the truth and I knew what was what,

but it still ate at me for a while,

but I had to decide, okay,

I can either go back there while I'm right here,

just go back to that house with him, emotionally,

or I could stay free here.

- [Counselor] So, we're not talking about deafness,

we're talking about detachment.

There's a big difference,

because you may not be able to get away from him.

You know, I had a friend that used to follow me around

like a little puppy dog yelling things

at me when she was mad.

You couldn't get away from her.

Until she was done, she wasn't done.

- The only way that I could get my freedom was to sneak off

while his back was turned, I ran like hell.

When he cut me with that knife,

I ran like hell to the Circle K

and dialed the Sheriff's Department.

He came over to the Circle K and he says,

I said, "I don't think so."

I stuck my head out the door for a minute,

and I said, "The cops are on their way."

- [Counselor] But let me ask you a question.

- He threw my pad at me, my telephone pad,

and that was the last time I seen him.

- [Counselor] Okay.

When your buttons get pushed,

when you allow someone to push your buttons, who gets hurt?

You're the one that gets all emotionally aroused

and feel horrible, you're the one

that burns up all this energy,

with either anger or being hurt and upset.

It's you that it impacts.

They're getting what they want.

I mean, he's hitting the button to get a reaction, right?

- [Woman In Black] Yes, exactly.

- And then he goes, "Don't get so,

"you need to calm down, calm, sweetheart--

Then that's when he would do this

and it would just really irk me.

- [Woman In Black] "Don't roll your eyes at me."

- "Sweetheart, no, no, no.

Sweetheart, don't get so hysterical,

"I mean, we're just having a conversation."

- [Counselor] To try to make you feel

more like you're crazy. - Yes, and I'm like,

"I'm not getting hysterical!" (laughing)

And he's done it one of the last times I talked to him,

he did that one here, and I said,

"Okay, I see where this is going.

"I will talk to you later."

"Hold on, hold on," click.

'Cause I wouldn't let it happen again.

Now, I don't call him, I don't talk to him at all.

Because I know he's gonna use one of those.

He's gonna get me to a boiling point

and then try to slap a lid on it

as if there's something wrong with me.

That I'm the one who's losing it

and you can tell when someone's at the house

and he's on the phone, "Sweetheart, just calm down.

"We don't have to argue, you don't have to be so loud,

"you don't have to be rude,

"all I'm doing is talking to you.

"Let's be peaceful."

(train horn softly blowing)

- [Woman] The only thing Linda and Trudy felt

was that somehow, Mom has got to supervise him at all times

until his evaluation's completed.

- [Man] Well, is Mom capable of doing that?

Since we've had all these other--

- I don't know that but I don't know

that we're not gonna have to figure out a way to assist her

if we're truly gonna serve this kid.

- [Man] Right.

- The biggest victim perhaps in all of this is Maurice.

He's a 12-year-old who has been raped, who, raped at nine,

and now has self healed, "I'm a good boy now,"

and he's taking care of his little sister,

that's what's so ironic.

He's gone from being his sister's assailant

to his sister's care giver,

and she told the worker the same thing,

"Maurice hurt me, but not for a long time.

"He takes care of me now."

- It sounds like they've had some sort of intervention.

- [Woman] No, Maurice has had none.

- What about the daughter?

- Katie was Baker Acted, was in Baylife for 18 days,

and there's no sign where the counseling continued,

and she told workers she remembered trying to hang herself,

she remembered Maurice hurting her,

that Dad and Mom fight,

that they're all real sad when Dad and Mom fight.

That they don't fight, which is really curious

that Katie made this, you know,

Dad and Mom fight, but the children don't fight.

And the worker said all of the children noted that.

The middle boy said, and it's probably very typical

of developmental, the middle boy said

that Dad hits Mom and hurts Mom,

and Maurice says they hurt each other,

that Mom hurts Dad back.

So...

we'll see if she can get the Apple services evaluation

quickly enough, Trudy's still concerned.

(shoes softly clattering)

(cars rustling)

- [Officer] What's going on?

- We have a little bit of a dispute.

- What about? - Been goin' on for a while.

- Okay, well tell me, what was the argument tonight about?

- The argument tonight is that we're not agreeing

with one another and I'd just like her

to be moved from my property.

- Okay, how long has she been here?

- She has lived here for about nine months or so.

- Nine months, okay. - Yes, sir.

- Okay, and what are you guys arguing about?

- Domestic things.

- Domestic, okay, just...

She didn't give you-- - Domestic things.

- Okay, okay.

I can ask her if she wants to leave, okay?

- You can ask if you want to.

- Well, I can ask her if she'd like to leave,

but I can't make her, okay?

Being that she's established residency here for nine months,

who owns the house? - I do.

- Okay, what you're gonna have to do, okay,

if you're not happy with it and you want her out,

you're gonna have to legally evict her.

You know, go through the eviction process through HCSO.

- Okay. - But I'd be more than happy

to work with you, if she wants to leave,

I'm gonna you let her pack her stuff up.

- I don't know what she wants to do

so you're gonna have to talk with her about that.

- Okay, that's all you want, you just want her out?

- I don't wanna argue with her,

I do not wanna fight with her.

- [Policeman] Okay.

- I love her to death.

- [Policeman] Right.

Is this an ongoing problem? - Woman of my dreams,

but I just cannot cope with her.

- [Policeman] Right, okay.

- And before it gets any worse than it is,

I wanted you guys to come by.

- [Policeman] Right.

- That's why I called you.

- [Policeman] That was smart, that was smart.

- Is that wrong?

- [Policeman] No, you did the right thing.

- Thank you.

- [Policeman] Well then, is there any type of violence

or anything like that?

- No, sir.

- [Policeman] Okay, good, that's good.

- No, sir, not at all. - Alrighty, let me talk to her

and see what the deal is--

- [Don] Please do.

- If you don't mind, thank you.

- [Don] Yeah, I don't mind at all.

- [Policeman] Is she dressed?

- [Don] She's in the bedroom, sir.

- We've been having some problems,

we worked it out, I thought, today.

- [Policeman] Right.

- And everything was fine up until I decided,

I have a bladder infection, I wanted a little rest.

I watched my grandson here last night all night long.

He's two years old, so I was not,

I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.

- I can understand that. - And so, you know, I mean,

he wants me to leave right this minute,

and I really, I don't have a place to go.

- I would like very much to talk with you.

But unfortunately, we cannot do that.

- [Diane] Why can't we do that?

- I don't really fucking know why we can't do that.

- [Diane] Okay, but there's no need to talk like that, okay?

- [Don] I tried to resolve it earlier,

we did have a good conversation.

- [Diane] Yeah, we did, I thought so too.

- [Don] Yes, me too.

- [Diane] So, I just--

- But when you neglect me and keep on neglecting me,

even though it's all a conversation--

- [Diane] Well I'm sleeping 'cause I'm tired, Don.

- Ah, yeah.

- I'm really not feeling well, okay?

Can you just give me, I asked you,

please talk to me in the morning,

let me rest a little bit, you know, I--

- [Don] Diane, I've been talking with you for a long time.

- Okay, well I can't go right this minute, okay?

- [Don] I'm sorry, maybe you can't.

- Okay.

- [Don] Maybe you can't go right this minute,

maybe I have to go, I don't really know the legal situation

of the whole thing.

But I am not happy with you here right now.

- I understand that.

- [Don] And I do not want to be associated

with you right now. - Okay, well--

- Now, whoever's gonna leave,

I don't give a damn about that.

- [Policeman] Okay, this is where I explained to you.

- [Don] Yes, sir?

- We can't make either one of you leave, okay?

Both of you established residency here, okay?

We can pick up and just have you leave.

If you wanna go on your own free will, that's fine.

A recommendation.

- [Don] Yes, sir?

- She's obviously tired, okay?

I know you wanna talk, maybe one sleep on the couch

and one on the bed 'til tomorrow,

and then that way, cool heads talk a lot better.

- [Don] Yes, they do, I understand that.

- 'Cause right now we're mad, things start heatin' up,

Before you know it, somebody says something--

- [Don] That's why I called you, didn't I?

- You did the right thing.

- [Don] Thank you.

- Somebody says something or does something

they're gonna regret.

- [Don] That's the first thing I've done right

in her eyes in a long time. - Right.

And it just seems to me maybe

talking right now's not a good idea.

Maybe get some sleep and talk about it in the morning.

Maybe have a good day tomorrow, everybody cool off.

- [Don] Well since I own the property,

I would like it for her to be removed at this moment.

- Well, I explained that to you, I can't do that.

For you to have her removed against her will,

you're gonna have to get a--

- [Policewoman] An eviction notice.

- An eviction, yeah.

- [Don] And what is the ulterior motive

right at this moment?

- We can't force her to leave,

and we can't force you to leave.

If one of you'd like to, you can.

If not, you're gonna have to work things out.

- [Don] Well. (muffled radio voices)

- We can't force either one to leave.

We wanna help you, but--

- [Don] Then we're back to right

where we goddamn started from.

- [Policeman] Exactly, so you know what we need to do,

we need to be adults, obviously--

- [Don] Well, I'm trying to be, sir.

- I know, she's tired, she wants to go to sleep,

let her go to sleep, talk about it tomorrow.

I mean--

- [Don] You obviously do not know the whole story.

- No, sir, I don't.

- [Don] That's correct, you don't.

- [Policeman] Give it to me.

- Oh, how many months you wanna go back?

- [Policeman] Well, just basically tonight,

how 'bout tonight?

- [Diane] We were having a good day all day.

We went to Lowry Park, (softly mumbles)

- Yeah, we had a good time up there.

- [Diane] Yeah, we did.

- Yes, we did. - Had a good time,

when I got too tired, I wanted to go to sleep.

And we won't leave me alone and let me sleep.

- Well, I do think that your sleep

comes behind our problems.

I know you've been under a lot of stress, so have I,

and you put me under stress, I put you under the stress.

That's why the goddamn cops are here.

- [Diane] It wasn't necessary for you to do all this?

- I know it wasn't necessary.

All you gotta do is just fuckin' talk to me a little bit.

- [Diane] I'm talking to you.

- Oh, yeah.

- [Diane] I sat up, I got up, I said I'll talk to you, okay?

But please let me rest, I really don't feel good okay?

- [Don] Then what's the best solution, officer?

What's the best solution for us right now?

- The best solution I would think,

do you have any friends or relatives or anybody?

- [Don] I can leave.

- But you know what?

- [Don] I do feel skeptical about leaving my home.

- I'm not making you leave, listen,

all I'm doing is I'm asking you this.

As a rational person and as an adult,

I think it would be better if somebody did leave tonight.

We can't make you.

- [Don] I think so too.

- [Policeman] You appear to be under the influence

of maybe some alcohol--

- [Don] I am.

- And I'd rather you not drive.

Two options, one, have somebody come and get you,

or maybe take a taxi, is it close by?

- [Don] I don't know where I'm going to go.

- Okay, I mean, if you make a decision before you go

and it's relatively close, one of us can give you a ride.

- [Don] I will not jeopardize myself, sir.

- Well, I don't want you to do that,

that's why I'm trying to give you some options to help you.

Like I said, I can't make you leave,

but you're on the right track,

looks like you're trying to help yourself,

and help the situation.

- [Don] Well, my problem is--

- Would you like to go to a friend's house

just 'til things cool off 'til tomorrow?

- [Don] I would feel much more comfortable if she would go

to a friend's house. - No--

- [Don] She has family here.

- [Diane] Well, they're all, all of them not around

because it's Memorial Day Weekend

and nobody's at home, okay?

Or I would.

Okay?

You have friends in the neighborhood,

you have three male single friends

that you can go to. - I own property here.

I think I should be able to stay

on my own property, don't you?

- [Diane] This happens to be my home.

- Don't you, sir?

- Yeah, like I said, we can't make either one of your leave.

- [Don] Yes, sir, thank you, you said yes, thank you.

Yes, I should be able to stay in my own goddamn property.

- Would you like to put her up

in a hotel room tonight 'til tomorrow?

- [Don] I would not.

- Okay, well, we're running out of options.

- [Don] I don't, I, do, are we?

- Yes, sir, yes, sir, we are.

- [Don] We are, yes, ma'am?

- Mm-hm. - Yes, sir, we are.

- [Don] And what are the options?

- Well, the options area-- - I own the property

and I can't stay in my own goddamn bed--

- [Policeman] No, sir, you can.

- And she's got to stay here and I have to leave?

- [Policeman] I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem

if you'd like to sleep in the bed,

I'm sure she'd sleep on the couch,

if you'd like to do that.

I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem with that.

- You're gonna have to talk to her about that.

- [Policeman] Would you like to sleep on the couch, ma'am,

and get some sleep?

But I don't think it's gonna end like this tonight.

- I have a 17-year-old son who has a disability.

- [Policeman] I realize that.

- He's with his uncle, and all his stuff is here.

All my things are here.

- [Policeman] I realize that, we're trying to help you.

- I just wanna go to bed,

I've got a really bad bladder infection,

and I really need some sleep

until I can talk to my doctor in the morning.

- Okay, would it be okay if she sleeps on the couch, sir,

and you can have your bed?

Would that be okay? (woman sobbing)

- [Don] Well, sir, I'm gonna leave that up to you.

You know how I feel, and you know how she feels.

- I think--

- [Don] And I called you

because I was worried about our situation.

- Right.

- [Don] I will leave it in your hands, sir.

- [Policeman] My recommendation is this.

- Yes, sir.

- [Policeman] Why don't you sleep in the bed,

get a good night's sleep, let her sleep on--

- I don't think that's gonna happen.

- [Policeman] Well, sleep as much you can.

- I will try.

- [Policeman] And let her go to sleep on the couch

until tomorrow, and then talk about it at level heads.

You're gonna be up all night,

you're gonna be grouchy tomorrow

and have a terrible Memorial Day.

- That fucking already happened.

- [Policeman] I'm just letting you know.

Is that good for you?

Why don't we let her set up on the couch and go to sleep?

- [Don] Sir, I'm gonna leave this up to you.

- [Policeman] I like that, I like that--

- [Don] I called you, I called you

because I have a problem. - I'm trying to help you.

And I'm trying to help you with it.

- [Don] And if this is the way you wanna solve it--

- Yeah.

- And leave us both here together,

then that's your business.

- [Policeman] Okay.

- I did call you.

- [Policeman] Yes, sir, you did.

- Thank you.

- [Policeman] Very good.

- That's all I gotta say.

- He shot a rifle at me two weeks ago

and I mean, I really have to try to get it together--

- [Policeman] He shot a rifle at you?

- Yeah, he had it confiscated out there in the front yard.

- [Policeman] Was he arrested?

- He shot at my car.

- [Policewoman] Mm-hm.

- He was arrested?

- [Diane] He was arrested and went to jail and got out.

- And you, you came back?

- [Diane] I had nowhere to go.

- Okay.

- [Diane] At the time, I didn't have any money,

I mean I'm not--

- [Don] All that is true.

- [Diane] Yes, yeah.

- [Don] All that is true.

- I'm really afraid of him, I really am.

(softly sobbing)

- [Policeman] Where does the uncle live,

where your son is right now?

- In South Tampa.

- [Policeman] In South Tampa?

- Yeah.

- [Policeman] Would it be any problem

if we got you over there, for the night?

- He has nowhere for me to stay there, sir, nowhere.

He lives in one-bedroom place,

and it's a (mumbles) only place.

- Well, if you're telling me that you're afraid

of your welfare.

- [Diane] I know, I really just would like

to have another-- - Then I don't want you--

- Just let me, give me opportunity

to get my stuff outta here tomorrow, I will be gone, Don.

Just give me one day, I can't do it right this minute, okay?

- [Policeman] No, no, I'm just saying for the night.

We could take you somewhere for the night

and then you could have the police

come over tomorrow, and we can stand by

while you get yourself-- - I have nowhere to go

right this minute, do you understand me?

Nowhere. - [Policeman] Okay.

- I'll go sleep on the couch.

- [Policeman] Is that okay, sir?

I think that's the best bet.

- Give her this evening just to get some sleep

and then she can see what she an do

about getting out of here tomorrow.

- And then she can grab her stuff and go out.

- [Don] I'm not saying another word, gentlemen.

- Okay.

- [Don] Ladies.

- [Policeman] Let her go to sleep

and talk about it tomorrow.

- [Don] Okay.

- [Policeman] That'd be a very wise decision.

- [Don] Okay, I will promise you that.

- [Policeman] Alright, sir.

- [Don] I will promise you that.

- Alright, thank you. - Thank you,

thank you for responding. - Ma'am,

if you need us, ma'am, give us a ring, alright?

- Thank you, I appreciate it. - Alright, good luck.

- [Don] Good night.

(cars softly rustling)