All language subtitles for Kevin.can.f.himself.S02E05.GLHF-ION10.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:07,601 --> 00:00:09,265 Allison Devine? 2 00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,788 Everybody wanted to get out of here. 3 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:11,859 You at least had a shot. 4 00:00:11,864 --> 00:00:13,430 You need to get Gertrude's death certificate. 5 00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:15,445 I think I know someone who can help us with this. 6 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,751 This is someone I know at City Hall. 7 00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:17,829 They'll get you whatever you need. 8 00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:18,859 After this, I'm done. 9 00:00:18,864 --> 00:00:19,995 I'm faking my own death. 10 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,799 My dad has a new girlfriend. 11 00:00:23,202 --> 00:00:24,296 We're going to set up Pete. 12 00:00:24,301 --> 00:00:26,108 I do not want to sleep with Diane. 13 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,113 Excuse me? 14 00:00:27,118 --> 00:00:28,476 Him and Kevin were joking. 15 00:00:28,481 --> 00:00:30,657 - To who? - To not drinking alone. 16 00:00:31,755 --> 00:00:32,836 Everything's going to be fine. 17 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,117 It's the security footage from Vermont, right? 18 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,625 Ugh. 19 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,935 Hello. 20 00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:43,951 - For who? - Huh? 21 00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:45,804 I-I thought you said "good morning." 22 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,092 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 23 00:00:50,799 --> 00:00:52,192 You're too much! 24 00:00:52,197 --> 00:00:55,026 I just came by to bathe with your father. 25 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:59,609 You know, two birds, one stone. 26 00:01:00,229 --> 00:01:01,447 What are the birds? 27 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,476 And what is the stone?! 28 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,007 - Ugh. - Better take this out. 29 00:01:06,012 --> 00:01:07,361 It lets me hear, 30 00:01:07,366 --> 00:01:10,456 but it doesn't mix well with sudsy Pete water. 31 00:01:10,664 --> 00:01:14,199 Yeah. Wouldn't want it to zap your brain and kill you. 32 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:18,351 Oh! I know I'd be laughing, but I can't hear you! 33 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:28,735 Ah! I didn't say that! 34 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:31,308 That is so out of context! 35 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,664 And what is that doing in there? 36 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,008 - A hit job. - What? 37 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:44,539 I'm just reading the article, which you stole from me! 38 00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:46,492 There's a whole paragraph in here 39 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,673 about your high school swimming career 40 00:01:48,678 --> 00:01:50,419 from like a thousand years ago! 41 00:01:50,424 --> 00:01:52,470 And a picture! 42 00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:56,023 That space could've been used for my quips, goofs, 43 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:57,639 and timeless maxims. 44 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,163 Where are my maxims, Allison?! 45 00:02:02,465 --> 00:02:04,162 "She was poised to have her own legacy 46 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,996 but chose to end her swimming career after her junior year." 47 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,192 Ooh. Allison didn't finish something. 48 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,850 How is that news? 49 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,693 "You can find her working at the Defto's package store." 50 00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:14,958 A real blow. 51 00:02:14,963 --> 00:02:16,914 What the hell? I don't even work there anymore. 52 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:18,895 I mean for me. 53 00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:23,557 But I have figured out a way to take back my narrative. 54 00:02:23,703 --> 00:02:25,575 The Worcester Wild Dude has been put in charge 55 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,365 of the city's Fourth of July fireworks display this year, 56 00:02:28,491 --> 00:02:30,797 and it seems like a sure fire-way to bring back 57 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:34,197 all the deep respect which I so richly deserve. 58 00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:36,490 I'm gonna reply in a way that sounds like I'm listening, 59 00:02:36,494 --> 00:02:38,106 but I'm really not. 60 00:02:39,087 --> 00:02:40,176 That's the spirit! 61 00:02:40,329 --> 00:02:41,872 Hey, uh, Neil's coming over later 62 00:02:41,884 --> 00:02:45,627 to help me sync up explosions with random Aerosmith songs, 63 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,025 so... 64 00:02:49,719 --> 00:02:51,852 Ah. A little waxy. 65 00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:09,271 The caller you've reached is unavailable. 66 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,881 Hi. Hi. 67 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:13,367 Uh, this is, uh, this is Sam's friend Alli... 68 00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:15,642 Al... ice. Alice. 69 00:03:15,886 --> 00:03:19,106 Uh, he told me that you could help me out with some documents 70 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,113 from city hall. 71 00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,165 Anyway, let me know if you can meet up tonight. 72 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,477 Okay. Thank you. Bye. 73 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:41,471 Oh. 74 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,321 Oh, no, no, no, no. 75 00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:50,204 Hm. 76 00:04:00,518 --> 00:04:03,996 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.MY-SUBS.com 77 00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,302 Oh. Hi. 78 00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:20,684 You didn't tell me you were coming over. 79 00:04:20,688 --> 00:04:21,821 I know. 80 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,132 And you cut your hair. 81 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:24,897 I had to do something. 82 00:04:24,902 --> 00:04:26,135 It feels like something's off, 83 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,838 and this seemed like a dramatic gesture or whatever. 84 00:04:28,843 --> 00:04:30,003 The haircut? 85 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,445 No. Coming over. 86 00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:36,227 I've barely heard from you since my birthday. 87 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:39,844 I'm sorry. I-I just... I've been busy. 88 00:04:39,849 --> 00:04:41,785 Since when are you too busy? 89 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:45,316 You once texted me while arresting someone. 90 00:04:45,584 --> 00:04:48,979 It's just... It's just bad timing. 91 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:51,291 - I'll call you later. - No. 92 00:04:52,578 --> 00:04:53,840 No, you won't. 93 00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,527 Is there something, like, goin' on? 94 00:05:04,623 --> 00:05:06,285 Yeah. 95 00:05:17,062 --> 00:05:20,051 I've been trying to figure out how to talk to you about this. 96 00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:23,199 I just never figured it out. 97 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,675 So I didn't talk at all. 98 00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:31,176 Okay. Can you... 99 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,252 I'm just gonna say it. 100 00:05:40,422 --> 00:05:41,808 Okay. 101 00:05:41,813 --> 00:05:44,555 And think abot how you want this to go 102 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,604 before you respond. 103 00:05:45,609 --> 00:05:47,462 Tammy, just say... 104 00:05:47,467 --> 00:05:49,152 Do you want to move in with me? 105 00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:53,265 I just like having you around. That's all. 106 00:05:56,089 --> 00:06:00,703 Actually... you might be the best thing in my life, 107 00:06:00,715 --> 00:06:03,892 and I want to spend all my time with you. 108 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,367 I think it could be really good for both of us. 109 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,593 Okay. You can respond at some point. 110 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,290 Uh... 111 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:23,579 Well, um... 112 00:06:26,861 --> 00:06:28,776 I'll call you later. 113 00:06:38,246 --> 00:06:40,873 I heard you and Chuck patched things up. 114 00:06:42,189 --> 00:06:44,691 Patched like a Band-Aid on a bullet hole. 115 00:06:45,704 --> 00:06:49,269 Good for you. No one stays together anymore. 116 00:06:49,504 --> 00:06:51,323 You bet. 117 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,765 I know that thing with Tanya seemed bad, 118 00:06:53,777 --> 00:06:58,686 but... you know, I love my Miller Lite. 119 00:06:58,848 --> 00:07:01,198 But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna sip from some Sam 120 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,738 - if there's an open bar. - Buddy, there's a line. 121 00:07:03,743 --> 00:07:05,512 I am talking to... 122 00:07:05,517 --> 00:07:07,754 Yeah. Excuse me. 123 00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:09,828 Uh, tell Chuck, um, 124 00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:12,949 he still owes me for his bowling dues, okay? 125 00:07:16,605 --> 00:07:17,746 Thank you. 126 00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:19,167 Guy's been my doctor since I was 2. 127 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,348 Even then, I knew he was a dick. 128 00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,480 Six-pack's $7.89. 129 00:07:25,918 --> 00:07:28,957 That's two dollars cheaper than usual. 130 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:32,229 I, um, I used my employee discount for you. 131 00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:35,590 Just this once. Don't get used to it. 132 00:07:36,387 --> 00:07:38,849 Well, shit. 133 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:55,581 ♪ Go out on the town and see what's happening all around ♪ 134 00:07:55,698 --> 00:07:57,160 Hi. 135 00:07:59,299 --> 00:08:00,800 Wow. 136 00:08:01,183 --> 00:08:04,566 Yeah. Well, not the worst answer I was expecting. 137 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,793 Well, I think it's generous, considering. 138 00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,918 Y-Yeah. No. I agree. 139 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,433 But you just kind of walked away the other night. 140 00:08:11,948 --> 00:08:14,193 You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? 141 00:08:15,316 --> 00:08:17,274 I'm not gonna tell anyone. 142 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:20,021 I'm not sure anyone would believe me anyways. 143 00:08:20,026 --> 00:08:21,637 Thank you. 144 00:08:21,642 --> 00:08:24,716 And thank you for putting me in touch with the city hall guy. 145 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,854 I, uh, left him a message. 146 00:08:26,859 --> 00:08:29,427 He texted me, and he's gonna get me what I need tonight. 147 00:08:29,432 --> 00:08:31,027 - Yeah? - Yeah. 148 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,949 I just need to find $100 somewhere, but... 149 00:08:34,886 --> 00:08:35,952 No. 150 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,425 No what? 151 00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:39,918 I'm not giving you the money. 152 00:08:39,923 --> 00:08:41,254 I didn't ask for it. 153 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,087 - Okay. - No. I didn't. 154 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,650 No, but you said it in that way you always do, 155 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,865 where I know what you need, so I just give it to you. 156 00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:49,741 Okay, but that's not what I'm getting at. 157 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:50,921 That's just what you do. 158 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:53,005 Yeah, and maybe that stuff was worth it 159 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,160 when I thought we might actually be together. 160 00:08:59,229 --> 00:09:01,057 Wow. 161 00:09:03,115 --> 00:09:06,466 Uh... huh. 162 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:13,156 Everything okay? 163 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,592 Hmm? 164 00:09:15,036 --> 00:09:16,463 You look lost. 165 00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:19,134 Oh. Uh... Um, no. 166 00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:20,445 I just... 167 00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:25,032 Um... would it be cool if I kind of hung out 168 00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:26,648 and drank one of these here? 169 00:09:28,183 --> 00:09:30,402 Technically that's illegal. 170 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,269 Right. Yeah. S-Stupid. 171 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,867 But I do it all the time. 172 00:09:37,028 --> 00:09:38,769 Knock yourself out. 173 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,290 Thanks. 174 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:46,839 Hey, um... would you want one? 175 00:09:49,915 --> 00:09:51,519 Um... 176 00:09:52,063 --> 00:09:53,477 What... 177 00:09:53,482 --> 00:09:54,602 What'd you do? 178 00:09:54,607 --> 00:09:56,927 I didn't do... I just grabbed a beer. I didn't do anything. 179 00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,255 Patty will be here soon, so I'll be out of your hair. 180 00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:33,098 It's fine. 181 00:10:38,261 --> 00:10:40,045 You're still gonna meet up with this guy? 182 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,902 Yeah. 183 00:10:44,595 --> 00:10:45,901 Why? Is he scary? 184 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,908 I don't know. I only texted with him. 185 00:10:48,077 --> 00:10:50,664 I got his number from one of Jenn's uncles. 186 00:10:50,669 --> 00:10:51,677 I sent him money. 187 00:10:51,682 --> 00:10:53,118 He made my liquor license happen. 188 00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:57,407 Mm. 189 00:11:00,668 --> 00:11:04,497 You know, Allison... you don't have to do this. 190 00:11:04,658 --> 00:11:07,618 Yeah, I know Kevin's a clown, but... 191 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,321 I'm not doing this 'cause my husband's a clown. 192 00:11:12,101 --> 00:11:14,625 You can get out of here. I know how to lock up on my own. 193 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,700 I already sent Maggie and Jesse home. 194 00:11:16,887 --> 00:11:21,376 But, um, I'm gonna stick around, just in case anyone wanders in 195 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,852 and needs a place to wait for the power to come back on. 196 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:27,077 What kind of idiot wanders into a dark restaurant in a blackout? 197 00:11:27,536 --> 00:11:29,570 ♪ Who let the dogs in?! ♪♪ 198 00:11:29,575 --> 00:11:31,748 ♪ Who, who, who, who, who! ♪ 199 00:11:31,752 --> 00:11:33,614 Why, why, why? 200 00:11:33,619 --> 00:11:35,733 Well, I tracked your phone location, 201 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:38,219 and I realized that this empty diner 202 00:11:38,224 --> 00:11:40,487 is the perfect spot to spend a blackout. 203 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,582 Infinite food, ample seating. 204 00:11:42,595 --> 00:11:45,728 And Lorraine to throw to the angry hordes as a sacrifice. 205 00:11:45,733 --> 00:11:46,908 What? 206 00:11:47,309 --> 00:11:50,059 It's one of Kevin's less funny bits! 207 00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:51,793 Lorraine lost her hearing aid, 208 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,536 so today's been a bit of a struggle. 209 00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,144 She did? 'Cause I found... 210 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,890 Oh, no, no, no. No... No time. 211 00:11:56,895 --> 00:11:59,365 Uh, we've got to get this dump 212 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,515 turned into a luxury shelter ASAP! 213 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,507 Sammy, you got any screws to hang a projector screen? 214 00:12:05,512 --> 00:12:08,297 I'm looking to fire up my "Blue Bloods" DVDs. 215 00:12:08,302 --> 00:12:10,028 There's no electricity, Kevin. 216 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,762 Uh, correction, Sam. 217 00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:14,156 They have no electricity the rest of Worcester... 218 00:12:14,161 --> 00:12:16,561 Because they don't have Kevin's generator. 219 00:12:16,566 --> 00:12:18,002 We, on the other hand... 220 00:12:20,213 --> 00:12:21,345 - You have a generator. - Yeah. 221 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,698 Well, it doesn't seem like it, 222 00:12:22,703 --> 00:12:24,695 but Kevin is prepared for any disaster. 223 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,920 Otherwise, he'd die first. 224 00:12:27,045 --> 00:12:28,045 Yeah. 225 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,438 Yeah, right. 226 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,142 Oh. What are you doing here? 227 00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:33,585 Allison told me to come. 228 00:12:33,899 --> 00:12:35,837 She didn't say there'd be other people here, 229 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,931 even though she knows I hate other people. 230 00:12:37,936 --> 00:12:41,330 Everyone, it is time to revel in our electricity 231 00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,989 and superiority. 232 00:12:43,145 --> 00:12:45,716 All right. Now, where do you put the batteries in this bad larry? 233 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:47,592 Oh, no. 234 00:12:47,604 --> 00:12:48,675 The what? 235 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,052 Yeah. What? 236 00:12:50,057 --> 00:12:51,224 I took all the 9-volts 237 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,115 out of our smoke detectors for this thing. 238 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,992 It doesn't take batteries. It takes gas. 239 00:12:56,118 --> 00:12:59,382 Like that riding mower you got that chopped Neil's toe off. 240 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,606 I apologized for that, Patty. 241 00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:03,212 Yeah... You said "Que sera" 242 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,132 and threw his toe in my yard somewhere. 243 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,743 Please tell me you found it. 244 00:13:07,794 --> 00:13:10,208 Uh... yeah. 245 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,548 Patty, let's go find some fuel. 246 00:13:13,831 --> 00:13:17,269 Allison, be reasonable! It's a blackout! 247 00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:19,059 I can't send two helpless women 248 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,883 out into the post apocalyptic wild to die 249 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,481 because I made the first mistake of my life. 250 00:13:24,973 --> 00:13:27,323 Kevin, your father's a priest, and your mother's a nun. 251 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:28,546 Think about it. 252 00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,596 Your whole life was based on a mistake. 253 00:13:33,239 --> 00:13:35,379 Oh... All right. I... 254 00:13:35,384 --> 00:13:36,821 Go look for gas, then! 255 00:13:36,826 --> 00:13:37,833 Okay. 256 00:13:37,838 --> 00:13:39,422 - You're leaving me? - Yeah. 257 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:42,691 It'll be a blast. Kevin's a real clown. 258 00:13:43,325 --> 00:13:44,513 It's true. 259 00:13:45,427 --> 00:13:46,951 Even my tears are funny. 260 00:13:56,177 --> 00:13:59,572 What are you doing? Volunteering to help Kevin? 261 00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,927 No, I'm not. 262 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,864 I'm getting the death certificate. 263 00:14:02,869 --> 00:14:04,055 Tonight. 264 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,845 - Gertrude's. - Wait. How? 265 00:14:06,165 --> 00:14:08,625 Sam got me the number of this shady guy at city hall, 266 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:11,241 and he texted me back saying that for 100 bucks, 267 00:14:11,246 --> 00:14:12,595 he could get me the paper. 268 00:14:12,778 --> 00:14:15,317 So... we should go. 269 00:14:16,910 --> 00:14:18,216 Okay. 270 00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:20,245 W... Really? 271 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,252 Yeah. Let's do it. 272 00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:23,684 I-I thought you were gonna say 273 00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:26,130 that we should wait for the electricity to come back on 274 00:14:26,135 --> 00:14:28,567 or for you to find a Valium. 275 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,957 Ah. I don't think it'll be any less sketchy 276 00:14:30,962 --> 00:14:32,615 if we wait till the lights are on. 277 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,525 Besides, I got to do something 278 00:14:34,530 --> 00:14:37,622 instead of sitting at home in the dark, stuck in my head. 279 00:14:38,146 --> 00:14:39,495 What's wrong? 280 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,295 Nothing. 281 00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:43,715 Nothing. Let's go. 282 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,488 Oh, shoot. 283 00:14:45,727 --> 00:14:47,142 I forgot to steal money from Kevin. 284 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,583 I don't have any cash on me. 285 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,927 We'll stop at the salon. It's right there. 286 00:14:51,298 --> 00:14:52,451 Okay. 287 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:54,589 - Thanks. - Yeah. 288 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,138 Nice haircut, by the way. 289 00:14:56,519 --> 00:14:58,217 Thank you. 290 00:15:00,224 --> 00:15:01,601 Sammy, my man. 291 00:15:01,606 --> 00:15:04,523 I'm gonna make some popcorn as soon as we get this genny going. 292 00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:05,794 Question for you... 293 00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:09,077 Do you have any butter, hopefully of the tub quantity? 294 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,605 Yeah. In back. 295 00:15:10,774 --> 00:15:12,298 - Great! - But... No! Don't go in there! 296 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:15,224 Don't stand between a man and his butter, Sam! 297 00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,789 Whoa. 298 00:15:20,914 --> 00:15:22,307 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 299 00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:25,934 Sammy... are you living here? 300 00:15:26,264 --> 00:15:27,744 No. 301 00:15:28,183 --> 00:15:31,186 Oh, Sam, the mattress is imprinted 302 00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,403 with the outline of your ripped bod. 303 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,911 Thank you. 304 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,844 But yeah, I've slept here a little bit lately. 305 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,716 Stuff at home. Just a rough patch. 306 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,289 Sammy, if you were having relationship issues, 307 00:15:42,294 --> 00:15:43,606 you should have come to me. 308 00:15:43,611 --> 00:15:46,536 I'm Mr. Marriage. Just ask my wife. 309 00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:49,372 I would, but you tossed her into a high-crime area 310 00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:50,509 during a blackout. 311 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,952 Okay. I'll do it. 312 00:15:53,079 --> 00:15:54,297 Do what? 313 00:15:54,302 --> 00:15:57,309 I'll take you on and save your marriage. 314 00:15:57,834 --> 00:16:01,533 I'm gonna give you a true storybook ending, 315 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,919 just like "Romeo and Juliet." 316 00:16:04,306 --> 00:16:07,091 That story doesn't end the way you think it does. 317 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,011 You correct your wife like that? 318 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:11,709 Yes. 319 00:16:11,745 --> 00:16:14,313 And that's lesson number one. 320 00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:16,070 That's not necessary, really. 321 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:19,099 Um, I'd actually appreciate it if you kept this to yourself. 322 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,583 Forget you saw anything. 323 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,459 Yeah. Loud and clear. 324 00:16:25,675 --> 00:16:28,417 Whoa-ho! Whoa! 325 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,686 That was a very interesting sex story 326 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:34,052 you just told me in there, Sam! 327 00:16:34,057 --> 00:16:36,481 And the fact that it happened just last night 328 00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:38,296 with your very own wife? 329 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:41,043 Whoo! That makes it even sexier. 330 00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:47,177 Wait. Something is... off. 331 00:16:47,182 --> 00:16:48,966 All the lights, son. 332 00:16:50,623 --> 00:16:52,103 Where's my generator?! 333 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,684 It was right here. 334 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,618 I know where it was, Neil! Where is it now? 335 00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,707 Well, it couldn't have just walked out of here. 336 00:16:57,712 --> 00:17:00,062 Uh, Sam... 337 00:17:00,171 --> 00:17:02,504 Marriage lesson number two... 338 00:17:02,509 --> 00:17:05,720 Don't say stuff that's insultingly obvious. 339 00:17:06,552 --> 00:17:11,677 Now... if Sam's very astute observation is correct 340 00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:14,780 and it didn't just walk out of here on its own, 341 00:17:14,831 --> 00:17:18,443 then that means that... one of you stole it. 342 00:17:18,448 --> 00:17:20,040 - Not me. - What are you talking about? 343 00:17:20,045 --> 00:17:21,176 What?! 344 00:17:31,044 --> 00:17:32,243 It's dark in here. 345 00:17:32,248 --> 00:17:34,384 Well, it's a blackout. 346 00:17:35,298 --> 00:17:38,257 Okay. You said you needed $100? 347 00:17:38,262 --> 00:17:40,177 Uh, just $71. 348 00:17:40,908 --> 00:17:42,688 Thank you for being honest. 349 00:17:43,425 --> 00:17:44,644 Here. 350 00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,626 This is easier than breaking into Cindy's. 351 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,068 It's nice to have a door. 352 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,982 Well, Allison, we're not breaking in. 353 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,376 I own the salon. 354 00:17:52,936 --> 00:17:55,504 The illegal shit happens next. 355 00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:57,842 Hey, someone's just handing us a piece of paper. 356 00:17:57,847 --> 00:18:00,495 We're not knocking over a liquor store, so don't worry. 357 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,081 Okay. Okay. Here... $71. 358 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,182 - Do you not believe me? - Sorry. 359 00:18:09,187 --> 00:18:11,018 I've had some trust issues with money 360 00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:14,294 on account of, you know, my marriage. 361 00:18:15,076 --> 00:18:16,960 I'm glad to hear it, actually. 362 00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:19,054 Okay. Now for the illegal shit. 363 00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:21,177 Okay. 364 00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:22,966 Police. Open up. 365 00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,844 Should I worry now? 366 00:18:34,424 --> 00:18:36,034 Hey, Patty! 367 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,971 Sorry. Didn't know it was you. 368 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,071 Cops don't wave. Why are they waving? 369 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:42,836 They were at a party at your house last week. 370 00:18:42,841 --> 00:18:45,235 Oh, God. They're gonna tell Tammy they saw us. 371 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:47,268 - Is that bad? - Well... 372 00:18:47,741 --> 00:18:49,042 Unlock the door! 373 00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:50,821 Well, it's very obvious that we're talking about them, 374 00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,870 so why don't you go... Go answer the door? 375 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:54,260 Door. 376 00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:00,953 Hey, Patty. 377 00:19:00,958 --> 00:19:02,609 - H-Hi. - Hi, Officers. 378 00:19:02,614 --> 00:19:04,050 So nice to see you again. 379 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,187 Right back at youse. 380 00:19:05,192 --> 00:19:06,401 We spotted the flashlight, 381 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:07,577 thought it was looters, you know? 382 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,061 What were you two doing here? 383 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,981 - Well, this is my salon, and... - Uh-huh. 384 00:19:10,986 --> 00:19:13,408 Yes. And we were just getting, uh, Patty's purse... 385 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,810 - Yes. Thank you... - And, uh, we were gonna leave. 386 00:19:15,815 --> 00:19:17,368 We can give you a ride to the house. 387 00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,526 Earn us a few extra points with one Ms. Ridgeway. 388 00:19:19,531 --> 00:19:20,968 Uh... We're, uh... 389 00:19:20,973 --> 00:19:23,412 We're just... We're going to our friend's house. 390 00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:25,550 Gonna just kind of hunker down there. 391 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,216 - Shelter in place. - Shelter in place. 392 00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:28,995 - Yeah. - On foot? 393 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,513 - Uh-huh. - Yes. Yep. 394 00:19:30,518 --> 00:19:32,601 'Cause she does live quite close by. 395 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,217 Great. Then we can drive you. 396 00:19:35,222 --> 00:19:36,417 No. 397 00:19:36,422 --> 00:19:38,903 We just don't want to disturb you while you're on duty. 398 00:19:39,477 --> 00:19:41,392 Ladies, stop trying to act so brave. 399 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,704 Let us give you a ride to the goddamn house. 400 00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:50,532 In no time at all, I've transformed 401 00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,930 Sam's depressing office apartment 402 00:19:52,935 --> 00:19:55,314 into a makeshift... interview room! 403 00:19:56,939 --> 00:19:58,409 Sam lives here? 404 00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,807 Totally. 405 00:19:59,976 --> 00:20:01,647 Pretty hot goss, huh? 406 00:20:01,891 --> 00:20:03,632 Come on, man. You told people? 407 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:04,942 No. No, no, no. No, no. 408 00:20:05,068 --> 00:20:07,636 But it'd be some pretty hot goss, right? 409 00:20:07,979 --> 00:20:10,726 Look, I obviously know it wasn't you, 410 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:13,166 but I know you're protecting Diane. 411 00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,569 Why would I protect Diane? Diane hates me. 412 00:20:15,574 --> 00:20:17,689 You're clearly protecting Pete. 413 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:20,219 Why would I protect Pete? I hate Pete. 414 00:20:20,224 --> 00:20:21,864 You shouldn't have accepted that doughnut. 415 00:20:21,869 --> 00:20:24,710 - Now I've got your prints. - Prints for what? 416 00:20:28,154 --> 00:20:32,663 You claim to have seen nothing, but did you hear anything? 417 00:20:32,668 --> 00:20:33,726 What? 418 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:35,141 A generator thief says what? 419 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,713 "A generator thief says what?" 420 00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,493 A generator thief says what? 421 00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:39,760 Huh? 422 00:20:39,765 --> 00:20:41,017 A generator thief says what? 423 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,362 Sorry. I can't hear you. 424 00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:52,163 Tammy's a changed woman since you came around, Pat. 425 00:20:52,245 --> 00:20:54,813 Always swore she'd never date another neighborhood gal... 426 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,255 Or a smoker. 427 00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:58,131 Yeah. You got her break all the rules. 428 00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:00,254 Yeah, and I swore I'd never talk to a cop 429 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,173 without a lawyer present, but here we are. 430 00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:06,604 Hey, we should all give her a call together. 431 00:21:06,608 --> 00:21:08,524 Yeah, I think... I think she would get a kick out of that. 432 00:21:08,528 --> 00:21:09,746 No. 433 00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:10,970 Thank you. 434 00:21:18,543 --> 00:21:20,066 Jesus, it's hot. 435 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,840 You look like Diane getting a hot flash. 436 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,456 You okay? 437 00:21:25,279 --> 00:21:27,874 Patty? Stop being so weird. 438 00:21:28,369 --> 00:21:29,390 Just act normal. 439 00:21:29,395 --> 00:21:31,192 We're... We're in a car with your friends. 440 00:21:31,197 --> 00:21:33,069 You think we could roll the window down? 441 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,899 In February? 442 00:21:36,326 --> 00:21:37,501 Yeah. 443 00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,507 Uh, she's... she... She gets carsick. 444 00:21:39,512 --> 00:21:41,035 She's... She's getting carsick. 445 00:21:42,557 --> 00:21:44,385 Lovely article this morning. 446 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:45,652 What? 447 00:21:45,657 --> 00:21:47,180 The profile in the paper? 448 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,346 I didn't know Kevin's wife was such a phenom. 449 00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,663 Or that you worked at Defto's. 450 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,399 Uh, there's our friend's house, just on the corner. 451 00:21:58,404 --> 00:21:59,546 We can get out here. 452 00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,271 - Yeah. - What? It's... That's half a block. 453 00:22:01,276 --> 00:22:02,843 No, we'll take you all the way there. 454 00:22:02,848 --> 00:22:04,709 No, that's okay. Thank you. 455 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,194 Thank you. 456 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,436 Go. Thank you. 457 00:22:07,441 --> 00:22:08,626 - Oh... - Go. 458 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,241 Allison, you got to get me out of this thing. 459 00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:17,346 Oh. My seat belt's stuck. Hold on. 460 00:22:17,351 --> 00:22:19,476 I don't care about the seat belt. I'm gonna throw up. 461 00:22:19,985 --> 00:22:21,117 Stop. Get out of the car. 462 00:22:21,122 --> 00:22:22,671 - Out of the car. - Okay. Okay. 463 00:22:23,162 --> 00:22:24,381 Bye. Thank you. 464 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,909 Quickly. 465 00:22:26,015 --> 00:22:27,663 Bye. 466 00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:28,912 Have a good one. 467 00:22:28,917 --> 00:22:30,441 - You too. - Yeah. 468 00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:34,280 What is wrong with you? 469 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,444 I got hot. 470 00:22:38,635 --> 00:22:40,071 You freaked out. 471 00:22:40,278 --> 00:22:42,288 I know. 472 00:22:42,630 --> 00:22:45,030 But who is this guy? You know? 473 00:22:45,319 --> 00:22:48,147 He's willing to break the law for 100 bucks. 474 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,061 And Tammy knows those guys. 475 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,894 Is something going on with you two? 476 00:22:53,899 --> 00:22:55,891 Kind of. 477 00:22:55,896 --> 00:22:57,680 Let's just get the cops to leave. 478 00:22:57,767 --> 00:23:00,112 Yeah. Thank you. The house is here. 479 00:23:00,117 --> 00:23:01,326 - Thank you. - Yeah. 480 00:23:01,331 --> 00:23:02,686 You're welcome, ladies! 481 00:23:02,691 --> 00:23:04,084 Why aren't they leaving? 482 00:23:04,096 --> 00:23:07,116 Because God hates me. 483 00:23:08,957 --> 00:23:10,437 Well, whoever this guy is, 484 00:23:10,442 --> 00:23:12,836 I hope he at least looks respectable. 485 00:23:15,966 --> 00:23:17,280 Over here. 486 00:23:17,285 --> 00:23:18,721 Ow. 487 00:23:25,316 --> 00:23:26,753 Oh. I am so sorry. 488 00:23:26,758 --> 00:23:28,934 I think we must have the wrong house. 489 00:23:28,939 --> 00:23:31,159 Oh, you must be Alice. 490 00:23:31,256 --> 00:23:32,301 Yes. 491 00:23:32,306 --> 00:23:33,437 That's her. 492 00:23:33,442 --> 00:23:35,052 So glad you made it. 493 00:23:35,057 --> 00:23:37,541 Uh, quick question, dear, before you come in... 494 00:23:37,546 --> 00:23:40,767 What are those goddamn pigs doing parked on my street? 495 00:23:41,409 --> 00:23:42,633 Huh? 496 00:23:54,186 --> 00:23:57,343 Yeah, 35 years of my life I gave to those city hall pricks. 497 00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:59,000 My best years. 498 00:23:59,102 --> 00:24:01,452 But I believed in civic duty! 499 00:24:01,457 --> 00:24:03,329 And back then, you think it was some picnic 500 00:24:03,334 --> 00:24:05,789 being the only woman at that place? 501 00:24:05,794 --> 00:24:07,610 - Unh-unh. - No. No. 502 00:24:07,615 --> 00:24:09,007 Yeah. That's right. 503 00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:12,545 Geez. Oh, then I get "let go"... by e-mail! 504 00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:17,111 So, uh, yeah, I guess civic duty is a one-way street. 505 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,061 Could have taken that place down, too. 506 00:24:19,066 --> 00:24:20,812 The stuff I saw. 507 00:24:21,150 --> 00:24:22,630 Mm. Yeah. 508 00:24:22,635 --> 00:24:25,333 Well, I am... I am so sorry that happened to you. 509 00:24:25,415 --> 00:24:27,243 Yeah, so now whenever I get a call 510 00:24:27,248 --> 00:24:29,468 from someone looking for a liquor license 511 00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:32,335 or some mousy delinquent and her goth friend 512 00:24:32,340 --> 00:24:33,620 looking for a death certificate, 513 00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:35,875 I'm like, "Hey, show me the money!" 514 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,375 - Goth? - Thank you. 515 00:24:38,021 --> 00:24:39,588 - I changed my hair. - Bingo! 516 00:24:39,593 --> 00:24:40,681 Here it is. 517 00:24:40,996 --> 00:24:42,867 Okay. Oh, boy. 518 00:24:42,872 --> 00:24:44,109 Slow. 519 00:24:45,127 --> 00:24:46,520 What is this? 520 00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:48,102 Keys. 521 00:24:48,221 --> 00:24:50,092 Uh, no. I-I know. 522 00:24:50,097 --> 00:24:51,615 I know they're keys, but why... 523 00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,230 Where's the death certificate? 524 00:24:53,399 --> 00:24:55,663 Oh, the records room is on the third floor, 525 00:24:55,668 --> 00:24:57,181 through the clerk's office. 526 00:24:57,186 --> 00:24:58,448 And here. 527 00:24:58,535 --> 00:25:01,886 Take these flashlights. And good luck. 528 00:25:02,179 --> 00:25:03,627 Good luck? 529 00:25:03,632 --> 00:25:05,281 Yeah. Power's out. 530 00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:07,125 No one's there. 531 00:25:07,130 --> 00:25:09,459 - This is kismet. - What does that mean? 532 00:25:09,464 --> 00:25:11,597 And I cannot vouch for the condition for the place, 533 00:25:11,602 --> 00:25:14,823 'cause after I left, they hired someone's delinquent nephew 534 00:25:14,828 --> 00:25:16,597 to take over, so... 535 00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:19,656 So you want us to break into city hall? 536 00:25:20,026 --> 00:25:21,549 I'm not doing it. 537 00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,479 Right. 538 00:25:24,484 --> 00:25:26,044 Right. 539 00:25:27,962 --> 00:25:29,559 Thank you. 540 00:25:29,936 --> 00:25:32,504 Are we really gonna break into a government building? 541 00:25:33,048 --> 00:25:34,963 You heard her. She said it's the perfect time. 542 00:25:34,968 --> 00:25:36,895 Shouldn't we stop and talk about this? 543 00:25:37,752 --> 00:25:40,011 Where's that ever gotten us? 544 00:25:43,058 --> 00:25:45,277 Sam, let's get down to brass tacks. 545 00:25:45,282 --> 00:25:46,669 Why am I a suspect? 546 00:25:46,674 --> 00:25:49,024 I was in here with you when the generator was stolen. 547 00:25:49,029 --> 00:25:50,278 You're not a suspect. 548 00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:53,426 This is time for us to work on marriage lesson number 16. 549 00:25:53,431 --> 00:25:55,390 Can I be a suspect instead? 550 00:25:55,395 --> 00:25:59,567 Now, Sam, what do you know about funniness? 551 00:25:59,712 --> 00:26:01,076 - What? - Geez. 552 00:26:01,081 --> 00:26:03,818 You sound like Lorraine ever since I stole her hearing aid. 553 00:26:03,823 --> 00:26:05,302 You did? That's awful. 554 00:26:05,307 --> 00:26:08,640 No, no, Sam. That is funny. 555 00:26:08,645 --> 00:26:11,265 And funniness is my greatest strength. 556 00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:12,856 Well, that and my muscles... 557 00:26:12,861 --> 00:26:15,995 And everything else, including my brain. 558 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,177 So you think I need to be funny to get my wife to like me again? 559 00:26:19,182 --> 00:26:20,662 Oh, absolutely not. 560 00:26:20,676 --> 00:26:23,653 You're too hot to have a sense of humor. 561 00:26:23,910 --> 00:26:27,083 Me, on the other hand, I am the rare exception that has both. 562 00:26:27,863 --> 00:26:30,888 You need to find your thing and use it... 563 00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:34,338 You know, your strength that makes you so lovable, 564 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,473 you can get away with whatever you want. 565 00:26:36,653 --> 00:26:37,982 I don't have that. 566 00:26:38,002 --> 00:26:40,004 Come on! Don't sell yourself short. 567 00:26:40,009 --> 00:26:42,664 Play up that, uh, sensitive thing you got going. 568 00:26:42,669 --> 00:26:45,468 You know, tell her... Tell her that you're broken. 569 00:26:45,473 --> 00:26:48,171 Tell her that you guys can fix each other. 570 00:26:48,176 --> 00:26:49,301 Tell her you're in AA. 571 00:26:49,306 --> 00:26:50,630 I'm in AA. 572 00:26:50,635 --> 00:26:51,897 Score! 573 00:26:58,188 --> 00:27:00,277 - Hey, here we go. - Yep, yep. 574 00:27:00,282 --> 00:27:02,005 We're doing this. 575 00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,518 We're doing this? 576 00:27:04,523 --> 00:27:06,669 Well, we got the keys. The power's out. 577 00:27:06,674 --> 00:27:08,895 - It's kismet, right? - I guess. 578 00:27:09,189 --> 00:27:10,407 I'm still not sure. 579 00:27:10,498 --> 00:27:11,804 It'll be easy. 580 00:27:11,973 --> 00:27:13,801 It makes me so nervous when you do that. 581 00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:14,942 Do what? 582 00:27:14,947 --> 00:27:16,732 Think things are easy when they're not. 583 00:27:16,999 --> 00:27:18,719 It'd just make me feel better if you'd admit 584 00:27:18,724 --> 00:27:20,334 this might not be the best idea. 585 00:27:20,339 --> 00:27:23,037 Well, that just feels like negative thinking. 586 00:27:23,288 --> 00:27:24,681 Ah! 587 00:27:34,356 --> 00:27:36,176 Wait! 588 00:27:37,694 --> 00:27:40,044 An alarm needs electricity. This thing's dead. 589 00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:41,262 It's city hall. 590 00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:43,439 They probably have some crazy advanced backup system 591 00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:46,142 - for stuff like this. - Patty, this is Worcester City Hall. 592 00:27:46,147 --> 00:27:47,387 - Look at this thing. - Don't... 593 00:27:49,575 --> 00:27:51,838 See? Easy. 594 00:27:52,975 --> 00:27:54,890 - Simple. - Mm. 595 00:27:59,817 --> 00:28:03,633 Well, after some amateur detective work 596 00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:06,336 that I'm sure even Scruff McGruff himself 597 00:28:06,341 --> 00:28:07,821 would be proud of, 598 00:28:07,826 --> 00:28:11,090 I've correctly deduced who the thief if. 599 00:28:11,095 --> 00:28:13,442 All right. Which one of these losers was it, Kev? 600 00:28:13,447 --> 00:28:17,146 Well, Neil, I'd say it's the biggest loser of all. 601 00:28:17,217 --> 00:28:20,044 Because you stole the generator! 602 00:28:20,228 --> 00:28:23,784 And you've lost weight recently. Congrats. 603 00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:26,052 What? You can't be serious. 604 00:28:26,057 --> 00:28:28,407 I'm as serious as Dad's coronary event, 605 00:28:28,412 --> 00:28:31,763 which they're now classifying as "inevitable." 606 00:28:31,842 --> 00:28:32,843 What? 607 00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:34,817 I have nothing to leave you. 608 00:28:35,926 --> 00:28:38,028 You've been sabotaging me all day. 609 00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:39,948 You bailed on fireworks practice, 610 00:28:39,953 --> 00:28:42,150 which is why I shot 'em too low, 611 00:28:42,155 --> 00:28:43,591 which is how I blew up 612 00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:46,512 that giant electrical transformer this afternoon. 613 00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:49,442 Wait. So it's your fault the power is out? 614 00:28:49,447 --> 00:28:51,768 No. It's Neil's fault! 615 00:28:51,773 --> 00:28:53,289 Gosh. Weren't you listening? 616 00:28:53,294 --> 00:28:54,776 No. I was listening. 617 00:28:54,781 --> 00:28:56,725 You really believe, after everything we've been through, 618 00:28:56,729 --> 00:28:57,992 I'd steal from you? 619 00:28:57,997 --> 00:29:00,956 Not only do I believe it, I know it to be true! 620 00:29:01,058 --> 00:29:05,950 In fact, this case is wide open and slammed shut. 621 00:29:06,258 --> 00:29:07,871 Just like the car door, 622 00:29:07,876 --> 00:29:11,097 which I caught Dad's hand in earlier today. 623 00:29:11,266 --> 00:29:13,659 Did I apologize for that yet? 624 00:29:13,746 --> 00:29:15,965 You said "Que sera." 625 00:29:16,489 --> 00:29:18,301 I don't even know what it means. 626 00:29:35,425 --> 00:29:38,301 Hey. Are you okay? 627 00:29:56,581 --> 00:29:57,878 Whoa. 628 00:29:58,178 --> 00:30:02,360 Yeah. It's very... official. 629 00:30:02,365 --> 00:30:04,359 You ever been here before? 630 00:30:04,853 --> 00:30:07,179 Whenever Neil has his court dates. 631 00:30:07,184 --> 00:30:08,609 Wow. 632 00:30:09,672 --> 00:30:11,935 So weird that Worcester City Hall is so nice 633 00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:15,683 and the rest of the town's... Worcester. 634 00:30:16,839 --> 00:30:18,929 It's not all bad. 635 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,159 - Oh. - How you feeling? 636 00:30:24,643 --> 00:30:27,210 Like maybe I should've kept things off my mind tonight 637 00:30:27,215 --> 00:30:28,652 by reading a nice book. 638 00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:32,062 My friend Judi gave me "The Secret Life of Bees." 639 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:34,088 - Okay. - Okay. 640 00:30:35,929 --> 00:30:37,395 Pull! 641 00:30:39,059 --> 00:30:40,460 You did it. 642 00:30:41,766 --> 00:30:43,097 Oh. 643 00:30:47,447 --> 00:30:50,135 I hate it when I'm right. 644 00:30:58,851 --> 00:31:00,244 I'm not finding it. 645 00:31:00,249 --> 00:31:01,995 Well, it's got to be in here. 646 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,659 We had a small change of plans, 647 00:31:03,664 --> 00:31:06,250 but sometimes you just got to roll with it, right? 648 00:31:06,255 --> 00:31:07,561 Well, we didn't have a plan. 649 00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:09,354 - Don't you think... - No, no. No. 650 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:11,048 Because when I think too much about something, 651 00:31:11,052 --> 00:31:14,229 that's the second I start talking myself out of it, okay? 652 00:31:14,788 --> 00:31:15,956 That's not true. 653 00:31:15,961 --> 00:31:19,181 Well, maybe not for you, but it is for me. 654 00:31:20,268 --> 00:31:23,794 You've known me for 15 years. Have I ever done anything? 655 00:31:24,877 --> 00:31:26,488 - You... - No. 656 00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:29,409 I can't even blame Kevin for it, 'cause it's always been true. 657 00:31:29,414 --> 00:31:32,668 I make excuses, and I bail, and I make excuses, and I bail, 658 00:31:32,673 --> 00:31:35,542 and, "Allison, you just always make excuses and bail!" 659 00:31:35,801 --> 00:31:36,933 Jesus. 660 00:31:39,288 --> 00:31:41,116 I'm sorry. 661 00:31:41,210 --> 00:31:42,777 Ah. 662 00:31:42,782 --> 00:31:44,941 I just need to find this thing tonight, 663 00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:46,817 and I can't let a little trespassing 664 00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:50,217 or some shitty nephew who can't alphabetize 665 00:31:50,222 --> 00:31:52,284 - create any more excuses. - Okay. 666 00:31:53,159 --> 00:31:54,846 Okay. 667 00:31:55,299 --> 00:31:57,214 Okay, but you must know... 668 00:31:57,219 --> 00:31:58,481 What? 669 00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:01,612 Gertrude Fronch. 670 00:32:01,876 --> 00:32:04,370 It is a terrible name, but I found it. 671 00:32:04,701 --> 00:32:06,051 Ha! 672 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,201 Hang on. Wait. 673 00:32:12,206 --> 00:32:13,381 W... Really? 674 00:32:13,386 --> 00:32:15,279 You don't actually believe any of that? 675 00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:16,673 That's bullshit. 676 00:32:16,950 --> 00:32:18,734 You are not some hopeless screw-up. 677 00:32:18,739 --> 00:32:20,318 - Okay. - No. 678 00:32:20,701 --> 00:32:21,964 Don't do that. 679 00:32:23,854 --> 00:32:25,987 I'm here. 680 00:32:25,992 --> 00:32:29,126 I've been here, standing next to you. 681 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,515 If you're some loser who can't do anything, 682 00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:37,635 I follow your lead... what does that make me? 683 00:32:42,881 --> 00:32:44,753 I guess you are right sometimes. 684 00:32:51,517 --> 00:32:52,823 What? 685 00:32:53,921 --> 00:32:56,882 Kevin, you caused a citywide power outage, 686 00:32:56,887 --> 00:32:58,193 raided my diner, 687 00:32:58,198 --> 00:33:00,451 and basically held everyone in here hostage. 688 00:33:00,456 --> 00:33:01,849 I think you owe us an apology. 689 00:33:01,923 --> 00:33:05,405 Yeah. We're... upset. 690 00:33:07,209 --> 00:33:10,647 And you should say you're... sorry? 691 00:33:12,867 --> 00:33:15,870 Apologies are like tears. 692 00:33:15,914 --> 00:33:20,571 Everyone has to let them out unless they're a real man. 693 00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:22,348 Dad, you taught me that! 694 00:33:22,356 --> 00:33:23,619 I-I never said that. 695 00:33:23,693 --> 00:33:24,956 What? 696 00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:26,568 How come I can't get through to you today? 697 00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:29,134 Because Kevin stole her hearing aid. 698 00:33:29,139 --> 00:33:30,314 - What?! - What?! 699 00:33:30,319 --> 00:33:32,092 Okay. Hold on. 700 00:33:32,171 --> 00:33:36,330 In my defense... it has been pretty funny. 701 00:33:36,914 --> 00:33:39,403 And did you do this before or after you caused 702 00:33:39,415 --> 00:33:42,984 a citywide emergency where hearing would be crucial? 703 00:33:42,989 --> 00:33:44,634 Oh, way before. 704 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,281 You have to take responsibility for something, Kevin. 705 00:33:47,286 --> 00:33:48,417 Anything. 706 00:33:48,543 --> 00:33:50,345 Oh, Neil, I'm so glad that you're back 707 00:33:50,350 --> 00:33:52,478 from your little... crying thing. 708 00:33:52,483 --> 00:33:54,485 Will you please remind these fine people 709 00:33:54,490 --> 00:33:56,478 of some of my good qualities? 710 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:58,619 I got nothing. 711 00:33:58,624 --> 00:34:00,252 See, Neil kn... 712 00:34:01,075 --> 00:34:02,075 Wait. What? 713 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,911 I guess you're pretty good at accusing people 714 00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:05,701 of stealing your dumb generator. 715 00:34:05,706 --> 00:34:07,708 Yeah. And causing blackouts. 716 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:11,724 Yeah. I'm starting to think that maybe I should cause a blackout. 717 00:34:11,962 --> 00:34:13,134 Kill him! 718 00:34:13,139 --> 00:34:14,177 What? 719 00:34:14,182 --> 00:34:16,220 Uh, I... Hit him! 720 00:34:19,836 --> 00:34:23,650 The lights... They're back on! 721 00:34:26,571 --> 00:34:27,650 Hey, look! 722 00:34:27,673 --> 00:34:31,325 Well, will you look at that? 723 00:34:31,330 --> 00:34:33,941 Everyone was all mad at me, 724 00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:36,413 and the generator wasn't even missing! 725 00:34:36,418 --> 00:34:38,791 It was right here, under this table! 726 00:34:38,796 --> 00:34:41,929 Oh, I bet you all feel real stupid now. 727 00:34:42,365 --> 00:34:43,798 But how did it get over there? 728 00:34:43,803 --> 00:34:46,023 It's on wheels, D. It must have just rolled. 729 00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:49,299 Sam, you're probably gonna want to level out this floor. 730 00:34:49,304 --> 00:34:50,479 That's a real hazard. 731 00:34:50,605 --> 00:34:52,172 You're a hazard. 732 00:34:52,177 --> 00:34:53,999 Ha! That's the spirit. 733 00:34:54,653 --> 00:34:55,653 All right, gang. 734 00:34:55,658 --> 00:34:57,569 What do you say we have some more laughs about this 735 00:34:57,573 --> 00:34:59,314 over a few dozen beers, yeah? 736 00:34:59,319 --> 00:35:00,416 You go ahead. 737 00:35:00,421 --> 00:35:02,962 I'll catch up as soon as I level out my floor. 738 00:35:03,835 --> 00:35:06,403 Don't worry, hon. We'll get you a new hearing aid. 739 00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:07,627 What? 740 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,841 It's a good thing you're so good at sex. 741 00:35:09,846 --> 00:35:11,848 Damn right I am. 742 00:35:14,822 --> 00:35:16,462 Blackouts do that. 743 00:35:17,202 --> 00:35:18,962 Blackouts do that. 744 00:35:19,241 --> 00:35:21,069 People go nuts. 745 00:35:21,074 --> 00:35:23,032 People do. 746 00:35:23,389 --> 00:35:26,653 That explains all that stuff... outside. 747 00:35:27,728 --> 00:35:29,513 Probably related to the whole blackout thing. 748 00:35:29,518 --> 00:35:31,822 - Huh. Yeah. Totally. - Sure. 749 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,488 Yeah. I mean, it has to be a blackout thing. 750 00:35:34,612 --> 00:35:36,745 Chuck still has his sawed-off, so... 751 00:35:37,118 --> 00:35:39,509 Right. Of course. 752 00:35:39,602 --> 00:35:41,691 So... 753 00:35:42,059 --> 00:35:45,715 You hid the generator, right? 754 00:35:45,939 --> 00:35:47,319 What? 755 00:35:47,324 --> 00:35:49,108 Come on. 756 00:35:49,610 --> 00:35:50,882 Pete would never. 757 00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:53,047 I don't even think Lorraine knew there was a generator. 758 00:35:53,063 --> 00:35:55,196 And I didn't do it, so... 759 00:35:55,283 --> 00:35:57,024 ♪ I found you... ♪ 760 00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:59,166 Are you smarter than Kevin? 761 00:35:59,381 --> 00:36:01,383 Not if you ask Kevin. 762 00:36:02,539 --> 00:36:04,072 Huh. 763 00:36:05,243 --> 00:36:07,154 Yeah. Okay. I did. 764 00:36:08,378 --> 00:36:09,901 Think of it as payback on Kevin 765 00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:11,595 for trying to set me up with Pete. 766 00:36:11,959 --> 00:36:13,580 Hmm. 767 00:36:13,585 --> 00:36:16,430 ♪ You know that's true ♪ 768 00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:19,259 So, what are you gonna do, rat on me? 769 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,391 ♪ I found my someone... ♪ 770 00:36:21,404 --> 00:36:25,408 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go to Dunkin'. 771 00:36:27,810 --> 00:36:29,443 You want anything? 772 00:36:29,973 --> 00:36:32,153 Sure, if you wouldn't mind. 773 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:33,676 Light and extra sweet. 774 00:36:33,681 --> 00:36:35,118 Oh. Oh, n... 775 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,278 No, I'm not gonna, like, get it for you. 776 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:41,568 I was asking if you want to come. 777 00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:45,725 ♪ Lonely days have passed ♪ 778 00:36:45,730 --> 00:36:47,079 Whatever. 779 00:36:47,084 --> 00:36:48,172 Fine. 780 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,250 Fine. 781 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:54,342 ♪ I'm glad I found you ♪ 782 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:57,954 ♪ At last ♪ 783 00:36:58,123 --> 00:37:03,115 It's weird wanting something so bad and finally getting it. 784 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,607 It's new. 785 00:37:06,161 --> 00:37:07,379 Yeah. 786 00:37:09,836 --> 00:37:11,888 I'm moving in with Tammy. 787 00:37:13,001 --> 00:37:14,792 You are? 788 00:37:15,207 --> 00:37:17,795 Yeah. She'd been acting really weird recently. 789 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,151 So I went over there thinking she was gonna break up with me, 790 00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:23,545 but she just asked me to move in. 791 00:37:24,716 --> 00:37:26,631 And you said yes? 792 00:37:26,804 --> 00:37:28,415 No. 793 00:37:30,255 --> 00:37:31,732 But I'm gonna. 794 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:38,287 You won't live here anymore. 795 00:37:44,349 --> 00:37:46,122 Neither will you. 796 00:37:54,031 --> 00:37:55,163 Hey. 797 00:37:58,711 --> 00:38:00,452 I'm happy for you. 798 00:38:03,460 --> 00:38:05,375 Good night, Gertrude. 799 00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:07,719 Night, Patty. 800 00:38:21,033 --> 00:38:22,512 Hello? 801 00:38:26,603 --> 00:38:29,143 Hey. Thanks for coming by. 802 00:38:29,148 --> 00:38:30,215 Hey. 803 00:38:30,220 --> 00:38:31,877 Yeah. 804 00:38:31,882 --> 00:38:33,205 Yeah. Okay. Yeah. 805 00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:34,950 Tonight was terrible. 806 00:38:35,233 --> 00:38:38,672 I was so annoyed with Kevin. 807 00:38:38,677 --> 00:38:42,463 No, not annoyed. I was, uh, disgusted. 808 00:38:42,468 --> 00:38:43,881 Yeah. Yeah. 809 00:38:43,886 --> 00:38:46,510 He kept giving me terrible marriage advice. 810 00:38:46,515 --> 00:38:48,938 Like... awful things. 811 00:38:49,246 --> 00:38:51,385 But I-I think... 812 00:38:52,547 --> 00:38:54,767 I think I do a lot of it, and... 813 00:38:54,854 --> 00:38:58,858 I don't know that I'm actually that much better than him. 814 00:39:03,305 --> 00:39:05,090 You should have your job back. 815 00:39:06,065 --> 00:39:08,894 It was wrong, the way I fired you. 816 00:39:09,610 --> 00:39:14,267 I made it about me, and... and... I'm really sorry. 817 00:39:17,701 --> 00:39:20,051 I do want to help you. 818 00:39:26,088 --> 00:39:28,622 Um, I'm sorry. 819 00:39:28,627 --> 00:39:30,019 I'm sorry. 820 00:39:30,024 --> 00:39:32,805 - That's okay. - No. I'm... I am so sorry. 821 00:39:32,810 --> 00:39:34,523 - It's okay. - I'm so sorry. 822 00:39:36,405 --> 00:39:38,353 Oh. Oh. 823 00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:41,727 Okay. 824 00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:45,898 It's okay. It's okay. 825 00:39:45,958 --> 00:39:47,482 It's okay. 826 00:39:50,438 --> 00:39:52,726 So you're still mulling how you're going to 827 00:39:52,731 --> 00:39:54,328 fake your own death? 828 00:39:55,549 --> 00:39:57,029 Like I said, I haven't... 829 00:39:57,034 --> 00:39:58,312 figured it out yet. 830 00:39:58,317 --> 00:39:59,840 Allie, you're stalling. 831 00:39:59,845 --> 00:40:01,455 You haven't packed yet? 832 00:40:01,729 --> 00:40:03,122 I shouldn't read into this, right? 833 00:40:03,127 --> 00:40:04,625 Absolutely not. 834 00:40:05,582 --> 00:40:06,844 Oh... 835 00:40:08,029 --> 00:40:10,141 This is the last thing I need to do. 836 00:40:10,146 --> 00:40:11,365 The last thing. 837 00:40:11,370 --> 00:40:12,765 - One... - Uh-huh. 838 00:40:12,770 --> 00:40:14,039 Two... 839 00:40:14,972 --> 00:40:16,562 - Allison. - Yeah? 840 00:40:20,436 --> 00:40:25,436 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.MY-SUBS.com 58024

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.