All language subtitles for ALF - S01E11 - On the Road Again SDTV

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,700 Yo, Kate, where do you keep your casserole dishes? 2 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,380 Why? The cat won't fit in the toaster. 3 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:16,619 Never mind. 4 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,420 I'll make a peanut butter sandwich. 5 00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:19,940 Where's the blender? 6 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,580 Try it without the blender this time. 7 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,720 And don't get hair in the peanut butter jar. 8 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,020 Rules, rules, rules. 9 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:32,439 Yes, that's the answer. San Diego. 10 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:34,160 Fine, what was the question? 11 00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:36,420 Where should we go on our vacation? 12 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,920 I'd say we should go to San Diego. Oh, San Diego sounds fine to me. But what 13 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,080 about Al? You don't have to check with Al. 14 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,560 That's where we're going. San Diego really does have something for everyone. 15 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:48,660 It's not just an empty slogan. 16 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:51,480 I mean, what are we going to do with Al? 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,440 SeaWorld. Brian will love that. 18 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,120 They've got the new killer whales they're in. And look, look at those 19 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,000 Lynn will have a great time. 20 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,200 What about Al? 21 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,440 I'm sorry. 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:07,600 Did you say I should get hair in the peanut butter or I shouldn't? 23 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,920 Just toss it out. 24 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:12,700 The hair or the peanut butter? Both. 25 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,180 No problem. 26 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:16,600 Why don't I believe that? 27 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:21,180 Oh, my gosh. They're having a Shakespeare festival. 28 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,860 Willie, there's hair in our peanut butter. 29 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,840 Love boat. Bernie Capel. 30 00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:29,100 Flying hamlet. 31 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,780 I said, what are we going to do about... Grease fire! 32 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:32,958 Grease fire! 33 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,080 Ow! Oh, no. Oh, no. 34 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,620 Never mind the curtains. Put me out. 35 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:47,880 Thank you for this food that you've set before us tonight. 36 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:51,780 And once again, thank you for sparing our kitchen. 37 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200 Amen to that. 38 00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:56,140 Let's eat. 39 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,620 There's hair in this tuna fish. 40 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,680 I like it. 41 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,420 How come I didn't get any hair? 42 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240 We ran out. 43 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:14,240 That's exactly what I'm going to do. May I please be excused? No, no, stay, 44 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,920 Lynn. That's the end of the hair talk. 45 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,460 I want to talk about what we're going to do on our vacation. 46 00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,100 Why is that the end of the hair talk? 47 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:22,780 Because that's the end, that's why. 48 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,100 We've changed subjects. 49 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,740 We're talking about our vacation. 50 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:27,040 I thought we decided. 51 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:28,460 San Diego. 52 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,260 It has something for everyone. 53 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:36,180 Well, your mother and I, I mean, Kate and I, have talked about this, and we've 54 00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:37,180 decided... 55 00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:39,150 We should all stay right here. 56 00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:40,410 At the table? 57 00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:42,710 No, no. 58 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:46,270 But in the house. Or around the house. 59 00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:47,510 Around the house? 60 00:03:47,670 --> 00:03:48,890 Well, we can go out outside. 61 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,870 Do we get to cross the street? 62 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:56,150 People thought instead of going somewhere far away and different, it 63 00:03:56,150 --> 00:04:02,590 more fun to stay home where things are not so different and do pretty much the 64 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:04,310 same things we do every day. 65 00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:06,710 I think you sold them, dear. 66 00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:10,150 No sale here. I think it bites wind. 67 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,270 Ow! What? That's not hair talk. 68 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:16,550 Let's just get back to this vacation thing, all right? 69 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,670 Yeah, I think we should talk about it. How come we're not going anywhere? 70 00:04:20,050 --> 00:04:21,570 Did you lose all your money? 71 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:23,950 Been playing the ponies, haven't you? 72 00:04:24,410 --> 00:04:27,470 If you want to know the truth, you're the reason we're staying home. 73 00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:29,570 Why? We missed you. 74 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:31,110 Pourquoi? 75 00:04:31,310 --> 00:04:32,370 Because you're an alien. 76 00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:35,640 We're dropping the French? We're dropping it. No problemo. 77 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,880 Why can't we take it off to San Diego? 78 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,380 Because the minute we check into a hotel, somebody's going to call the 79 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,620 Or the National Enquirer. 80 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,600 And obviously we can't leave you home alone. You proved that today. 81 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,680 I suppose that's a reference to this kitchen thing. 82 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:58,660 You did start that fire, and then you watched TV while Kate and I put it out. 83 00:04:58,660 --> 00:04:59,920 didn't think it was a three -man job. 84 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,700 The point is... 85 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,560 We're going to have to spend this vacation at home. 86 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,460 I feel terrible. 87 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,000 I ruined your stove. 88 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,940 Now I'm ruining your vacation. 89 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:11,960 I'm worthless. 90 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,560 I'm garbage. 91 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,300 I'm canal water. 92 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,780 I bite wind. Al, you haven't ruined anything. 93 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,200 Except our stove. 94 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,560 And our vacation. 95 00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:27,940 Well, I can't live with that. You people are going on vacation without me. I 96 00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:28,940 don't see how we can. 97 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,200 Pen me in the yard. 98 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,080 Where I won't cause any damage. 99 00:05:32,580 --> 00:05:33,820 Chain me to a tree. 100 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,500 Put me in a kennel. 101 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,980 No, Al. We're not going on vacation without you. 102 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,540 I agree. 103 00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:42,480 There's got to be some place we can all go. 104 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,280 Before we gloss over this kennel business... Okay. 105 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:49,660 Maybe if we went deep into the woods where nobody would see us. 106 00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:53,020 Out of the mouths of babes. 107 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,780 We can rent a motorhome. We could go to some secluded campground. That's a great 108 00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:58,780 idea. 109 00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,650 Let's give it a shot. It could be fun. 110 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:04,810 Singing songs around the campfire. 111 00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:08,510 Eating pork and beans out of a tin can. 112 00:06:09,270 --> 00:06:12,410 Being together 24 hours a day. 113 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:16,930 Learning to accept each other's little idiosyncrasies. 114 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,490 So the kennel idea is dead? 115 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,890 No. Okay, fine. We'll go camping. What do we need? 116 00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:26,410 We need pork and beans. 117 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:37,240 Repowerment. If one of those bottles should happen to fall, one bottle of 118 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:42,340 on the wall. One bottle of beer on the wall. One bottle of beer. If one of 119 00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:46,340 bottles should happen to fall, no more bottles of beer on the wall. 120 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,400 One more time. 121 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:53,160 A thousand bottles of beer on the wall. A thousand bottles of beer. Come on, 122 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,220 Mom. Sing with us. I don't know the words. 123 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,640 Hey, Willie. 124 00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,900 Keep your eyes open for a clean gas station. 125 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,920 I'm going to need to make a pit stop. 126 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,900 Again? I can't help it. It's all this singing about beer. 127 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,160 Hey, Lynn. 128 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,200 You want to spit out the window with me? 129 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:13,900 Maybe later. 130 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:15,860 I'll spot you ten feet. 131 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,440 No thanks. 132 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:18,980 I'm going to write a letter to my boyfriend. 133 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,560 How about you, Kate? 134 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:24,300 I don't know how to spit. 135 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,640 Come on, it's easy. 136 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,060 No! 137 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,240 All right, don't get your shorts in a knot. 138 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,100 I guess I'll just moon some state troopers. Make way here. 139 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,280 There'll be no mooning! 140 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,020 Boy, you call this a vacation? 141 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,100 Hey, Chief, how about letting me take over the controls a while? 142 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,320 You don't know how to drive. 143 00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:53,280 I drove through the cosmos, didn't I? You crashed into our garage. 144 00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:57,700 You see any garages out there? Come on. No, no, no. Somebody can help me. 145 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:05,120 Dear 146 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:13,320 lass, 147 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:16,660 day number two and it's still raining. 148 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,700 I think we're in hell. 149 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,600 Please rescue me. 150 00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:28,240 Is it just me, or are the walls closing in? 151 00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:31,380 You know, I really think the rain is going to stop. 152 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,600 Yeah, bound to stop sometime. 153 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,020 You've been saying that since we docked. 154 00:08:39,179 --> 00:08:42,400 Let's just make the best of it. How about a game of Chinese checkers? 155 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,340 I'm tired of Chinese checkers. 156 00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,900 Yeah, we're tired of Chinese checkers. 157 00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:48,180 How about gravel? 158 00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:50,020 I don't know. 159 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:52,820 I was bored. 160 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:54,760 When I'm bored, I eat vowels. 161 00:08:56,299 --> 00:08:57,860 Well, there's always charades. 162 00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,180 I don't like charades. 163 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,560 I always feel like everyone's watching me. 164 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:03,660 What does everyone want to do? 165 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:06,960 It's your call. You're the one who dragged us here. 166 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:12,320 You guys really are a bunch of negative Nellies. Yeah, we're trying to make the 167 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,660 best of a less than perfect situation and try to find something that we can 168 00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:16,660 do together. 169 00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:18,320 May I suggest San Diego? 170 00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:19,539 No, you may not. 171 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:23,940 Now, look, I know things haven't worked out exactly as planned, but when you 172 00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:25,660 have a lemon, You make lemonade. 173 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,940 What lemon? What are you talking about? 174 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:31,400 I'm just trying to tell you there's more than one way to skin a cat. 175 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,800 You've been reading my recipe book. 176 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,360 All right, let's do something. 177 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,100 Everybody into your coats and hats. We're going on a hike. 178 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:40,580 Oh, I'm ready. 179 00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,720 This looks like fun. That's the spirit. Let's go, huh? 180 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,800 Who cares if we get a little wet? 181 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,300 That's easy for you to say. You're not 98 % hair. 182 00:09:49,870 --> 00:09:50,870 Now, look here. 183 00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:55,510 We can sit here and complain, or we can go out there and enjoy ourselves. 184 00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,550 I'm going to sit here and complain. 185 00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:58,910 Fine. We'll see you later. 186 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,250 Welcome back. 187 00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:10,790 Chips and ladders, anyone? 188 00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:14,170 Well, I'm going to set up the barbecue. Anybody hungry? 189 00:10:14,370 --> 00:10:15,550 You're not going out there. 190 00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:17,370 I'll cook under the awning. 191 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:19,870 You need some help bobbing for firewood? 192 00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:24,490 One more word out of you, and you're not eating with us. 193 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:30,050 Right. Let the alien starve. I think the alien could skip a meal. It might be a 194 00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,710 new experience for him. 195 00:10:34,890 --> 00:10:37,370 Uh, how would you like your hamburger? 196 00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:38,710 Medium rare. 197 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:39,870 Hold the lightning. 198 00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:44,610 How would you like to be 50 % here? 199 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,840 a different person when you're on vacation? 200 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,000 I'm just trying to make this vacation fun. 201 00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:55,060 How? By drowning us? By trying to give a positive attitude. 202 00:10:55,620 --> 00:11:00,440 You might do that yourself instead of complaining all the time. Please. 203 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,240 Well, not everyone enjoys spending their vacation in a rainforest. 204 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,620 We're in this rainforest because of you. 205 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,140 I vote we go home. You're not voting on this. 206 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,400 Call the newspapers. 207 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:11,700 Democracy is dead. 208 00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,760 Do you want to go home? Go. 209 00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:17,760 No one's stopping him. Dad! Stand at the door! Willie! 210 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,100 You want me to go? I'll go. 211 00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,339 Fine, go! 212 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:21,740 Fine. I'm going. 213 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,340 Alf, don't! 214 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,180 Sorry, Brian. I have my pride. 215 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,400 Alf. Come on, Alf. You're not really going. 216 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,780 I'm out of here. 217 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,060 I'm history. 218 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,760 I'm going to die. 219 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,520 Where could he be? 220 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,120 Is that him? 221 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,200 No. 222 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,180 I think that's just a rotted tree stump. 223 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,160 One, 224 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:11,960 two, three, four. 225 00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:16,180 Oh, no, I slipped on the chute. Well, I'll just have to start at the 226 00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:21,000 Dad, how can you play at a time like this? Alf is all alone out there. He 227 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,300 be caught in a bear trap. 228 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,460 And it will be getting dark soon, really. 229 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,560 Maybe we better call the police. 230 00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:32,780 No. To be a missing person, you'd have to be missing for 24 hours. 231 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,020 And be a person. 232 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,080 Shoot. 233 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,100 Another shoot. 234 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,880 Well, this isn't my day. 235 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,720 It's not Al's day either. 236 00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:48,040 Yeah, we want Al's death. 237 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:53,740 Just don't try to make me feel guilty about... Sending him out to die. Asking 238 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:54,760 him to leave. 239 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,220 Anyone else would have done the same thing? 240 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,339 Not me. 241 00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,099 Not me. 242 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,100 Not me. 243 00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,340 All right. Where's the wolf repellent? Oh. 244 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:07,060 Yay, Dad! 245 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,780 Remember, Dad, it doesn't work on bears. 246 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,020 Oh, thanks. 247 00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:15,460 Honey, I want you to be very careful. Yeah. You're all right. Give me a kiss. 248 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:16,640 Okay. 249 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,280 I love you, Daddy. 250 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,200 So long. 251 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:53,750 Anybody home? 252 00:13:57,210 --> 00:13:58,550 I'm coming in. 253 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:04,270 I'm in. 254 00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:13,630 I'm looking through your cabinet. 255 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,560 Yikes! 256 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,080 Oh, Oreos. 257 00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:36,060 My kind of people. 258 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,340 Oh, it's your fault. 259 00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:42,920 Hey, look here. You know, 260 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:45,660 you really are an idiot. 261 00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:52,000 I mean, I had that rabbit right in my sights, and then you scare him away with 262 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,480 that sound you were making. 263 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,540 It was a rabbit cough. 264 00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:58,930 Rabbits don't have a call. 265 00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:00,810 How do they get each other's attention? 266 00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:02,270 Don't talk to me. 267 00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,570 Rabbits have a call. If you don't believe me, look it up. 268 00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:13,910 Would you look at this? I mean, you're always leaving the cookies out. We're 269 00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:14,749 going to get ants. 270 00:15:14,750 --> 00:15:15,750 I didn't do that. 271 00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:17,070 Well, who did? 272 00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:19,870 Maybe some animal got in here or something. 273 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:25,650 Right. Some animal who just happens to be partial to Oreos. 274 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:29,499 What was that? 275 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,320 I think we have a burglar. 276 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,060 A dead burglar. 277 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,700 Cover me. 278 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:42,680 It is an ant. 279 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,440 It's an ugly little sucker. 280 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,660 I think it's a dog. 281 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:51,640 That's no dog. 282 00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:56,520 Yeah, it's one of those expensive dogs. I've seen pictures of them. I think Cher 283 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,520 has one. 284 00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:02,370 Now, that's one of those weird animals from Australia. 285 00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,050 Yeah, sure. Then how did it get here? 286 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,410 Don't you know anything? 287 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,290 The continents used to be connected. 288 00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:13,170 That is the stupidest thing you ever said. 289 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,030 Well, look it up. 290 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:19,930 You know what that is? 291 00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:21,650 It's an anteater. 292 00:16:22,970 --> 00:16:23,970 Are you sure? 293 00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:27,190 Yeah, and it's against the law to shoot anteaters. 294 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,600 What are you talking about? 295 00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,240 You can shoot anteaters. 296 00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:40,220 I don't care what he is. I'm going to take him out and butcher him. 297 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:44,400 Why do you always get into all the butchering? 298 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,600 Because you usually end up mutilating all the good meat. 299 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,380 I'll get the chainsaw. You make the salad. 300 00:16:55,320 --> 00:17:00,240 That guy ordered me around too much. 301 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,800 Oh, yeah. You're getting the short end of the stick, all right. I hear you. 302 00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,140 I do hear you. 303 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,200 You're talking. 304 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,280 A talking anteater. 305 00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:22,599 Yeah, listen, you should get even with that guy. May I suggest a murder 306 00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:23,599 -suicide? 307 00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:25,819 You're really talking. 308 00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:28,000 Yeah, I'm talking. Let's get past that. 309 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,020 Well, I never ate anything that talked. 310 00:17:31,110 --> 00:17:32,810 Well, my cousin's cockatoo. 311 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:37,130 Alf! 312 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,510 Alf! 313 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:47,910 Hey, hey, Earth to Yokel, focus in here, all right? I'm not an anteater. 314 00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:52,250 I'm a magical creature of the forest. 315 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:56,450 If you release me, I'll grant you three wishes. 316 00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:02,010 Wait a second. You're not a magical creature. You're just an ordinary 317 00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:04,110 anteater. Well, look it up. 318 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:07,330 Hey, Artie. 319 00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:09,570 This anteater talks. 320 00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:13,310 What? Yeah, but don't listen to a word he says. He's tricky. 321 00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:14,950 I think he's from the city. 322 00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:17,630 We've got to get you a woman. 323 00:18:19,090 --> 00:18:21,550 Maybe it's a talking rabbit. 324 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:26,170 Hello. I'm sorry to bother you, but have you seen... 325 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:30,540 Anything unusual in the area? I know that's a very general question, but if 326 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,920 you've seen what I'm referring to, I'm sure you'll know what I mean. And if you 327 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,720 haven't, well, there'll be no point in taking up your time with a long 328 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:37,720 explanation. 329 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:38,880 Who's this? 330 00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:41,360 Some guy with a run -on sentence. 331 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:49,840 Alf, oh, Alf, oh, Alf, thank goodness that we were... 332 00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:53,190 So worried. Look, I'm sorry about what happened. Are you okay? 333 00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:54,430 Did he get lost? 334 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,690 Oh, obviously, I don't expect him to answer. 335 00:18:58,950 --> 00:18:59,950 I do. 336 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:07,370 Well, thank you. Thank you for finding our... Ant, either. 337 00:19:08,970 --> 00:19:09,970 Come on, now. 338 00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:11,990 Come on. Come on, boy. We gotta go. 339 00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:13,210 Now, wait just a minute. 340 00:19:14,630 --> 00:19:15,990 How do we know he's yours? 341 00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:19,570 Look at the way he's hugging my leg. 342 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:23,130 So what? I had a dog who did that to everybody. 343 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:28,230 I don't know what kind of proof you want, but Alf belongs to me. 344 00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:31,370 Possession is nine -tenths of the law. 345 00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:32,649 That's right. 346 00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:33,830 He's half -armed. 347 00:19:36,830 --> 00:19:40,130 Look, Alf is coming with me, and that's that. 348 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:46,030 Did I mention the generous $50 reward there is for finding out? 349 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,650 A 50 each? 350 00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:51,840 No, no, 25 apiece. Oh, well, I was going to say. Shut up. 351 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,720 That's 50 apiece. 352 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:55,760 $100 is ridiculous. 353 00:19:58,540 --> 00:19:59,720 Ridiculous of me to say no. 354 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:03,680 All right. 355 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,460 Nice doing business with you. My pleasure. 356 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,320 I'm telling you, that thing can talk. 357 00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,320 Can't believe those guys can talk. 358 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,600 What was that? 359 00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,620 I thought I was going to take him for a walk. 360 00:20:19,139 --> 00:20:20,540 I'll hold. You're 25. 361 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:22,380 Oh, thanks. 362 00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:32,420 Alf. 363 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:37,040 Alf, I think we'd make better time if you let go of my leg. 364 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,760 Just a little longer. 365 00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:40,960 I've been through a traumatic experience. 366 00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:45,120 Did I tell you how much I appreciate you saving my life? 367 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:46,700 Yes, you did, Alf. 368 00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:51,150 Did I also tell you that I think you're a credit to the human race? 369 00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,570 Over and over. 370 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:56,070 Did I tell you I think you got us lost? 371 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:57,930 We're not lost. 372 00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,570 Yeah, I think we've been walking in circles. 373 00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:03,270 That's because you've been holding onto my leg. 374 00:21:03,570 --> 00:21:04,810 Well, anyway, we're lost. 375 00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:07,590 We're not lost. We're going the right way. 376 00:21:07,830 --> 00:21:13,670 No, I'm pretty sure we should be going that way. No, that is the way back to 377 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:16,370 camper. No, that's the way back. 378 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,800 To the camper. 379 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,160 No, it's not. 380 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,240 Yes, it is. 381 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,419 All right. 382 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:23,580 Oh, what the compromise? 383 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,620 Let's go that way. 384 00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:28,880 No! No, no, that's where those guys live. 385 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,780 You got it. I'm going to return you, get my $100 back. 386 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:37,360 You know what? You're absolutely right. 387 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,060 That is the way back to the camper. 388 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,100 Whatever you say. 389 00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:43,660 All aboard! 390 00:21:49,710 --> 00:21:50,990 There's more rain, Lucky. 391 00:21:53,110 --> 00:21:54,110 Rain again. 392 00:21:55,790 --> 00:21:57,470 Rain from another angle. 393 00:21:57,710 --> 00:21:58,810 I took that one. 394 00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:01,530 Hang on, Lucky, we're just getting to the good part. 395 00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:04,090 Al, we've seen these dozens of times. 396 00:22:04,530 --> 00:22:07,890 Yeah, we have, but I haven't shown them to the Lochmeister. 397 00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:16,370 Here I am after Willie rescued me from what I'd like to call the cabin 398 00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:17,610 that dripped blood. 399 00:22:20,419 --> 00:22:22,540 Here I am kissing the floor of the motorhome. 400 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:25,760 Here I am kissing Willie. 401 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,320 Let me tell you, I got more of a response from kissing the floor. Ha! 402 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:33,600 Ha! Oh, yeah, only kidding, my man. You saved my life. Stand up and take a bow. 403 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,020 Come on. Oh, he's modest. I love that. All right. 404 00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,820 Here I am lighting the barbecue. 405 00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:43,720 Here's the motorhome going up in flames. 406 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:49,280 Here we are coming home by bus. That's me in the duffel bag. 407 00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:55,320 Here I am being chained to a tree before the family took off for San Diego. 408 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,200 Hey, no hard feelings. 28486

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