Original subtitles

Beat your little ass if you don't get out here!

I've gone over this for two days.

I don't remember anything.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Go away.

Go away!

Can you tell me about Jeremy Dorian?

Where did you two meet?

You don't want to talk about Jeremy?

Why are you guys doing this to me?

Why am I still here?

Is he your boyfriend?

Again, my name is Dr.

Carter Moore.

You waived your right to an attorney, and I'm just here to speak with you.

I honestly don't remember anything.

Let's just start at the beginning.

Angels in a playground.

Never touch the sand.

People touching heaven.

Never need a home.

Not to be afraid.

Jeremy? What's this?

Oh. What's in that?

What? So how long have you worked here?

About three years.

That's all right.

Can you send me out of trouble?

Trouble?

What kind of trouble?

Thank you for the flowers, by the way.

A gentleman always brings flowers on a first date.

Oh, wait. Sorry.

Not a date.

I'm not used to guys being so nice to me.

Oh, come on.

That is hard to believe.

No one's ever got me flowers before.

Well, I did.

You did.

Oh, my God.

Why am I so nervous?

I guess I don't get out much.

It's impossible.

You're beautiful Thank you

Please stop.

Not right now.

I thought you would never come.

I'm so pleased you did.

I didn't know you wanted me to.

Took some homework trying to find you.

Caleb.

My boy.

My baby boy, Caleb. Look at you.

You have grown to be such a big boy.

Why do you cover up your hair like that?

You have such a nice head of hair.

Mom.

Just like me.

Not like your father.

Caleb. My boy, Caleb.

Where have you been?

Hmm?

You left me, Mom.

You gave me up.

I'm here now.

You've come home.

Hey.

When I woke up, he was gone.

How did that make you feel?

Abandoned.

Alone.

How did that make you feel?

I've listened to everything everyone has said. I just want to go home.

Caleb, you can't go home.

We need to find out what happened.

I don't know where the butt came from.

Can I help you?

How are you?

What can I get you?

Uh, cappuccino.

No whip.

So, how are you?

What's that?

How are you?

Busy.

Good to see you.

What happened? Did I do something wrong?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, you did.

You left.

No note, no phone number.

Nothing.

That was three days ago.

I'm sorry.

So I'm here.

Caleb.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to make you this upset.

I knew I'd see you again.

No, I didn't.

This has got to be the best Chinese food I've ever had.

Yeah? Mm -hmm.

I thought sitting by the fireplace would be kind of romantic.

Yeah,

I really love your place.

Thanks. So do I.

It was left to me when my mom died.

Bohemia.

She wasn't my real mom.

I just call her that because she's the closest thing.

I don't know my real daddy.

He's adopted.

I spent most of my childhood in foster care.

You know, in and out.

In and out.

I guess you could say I was a little troubled one.

Yeah.

Seriously.

Um, and then I met this older couple.

Karen and Bill.

Gave me a stable home.

They knew I was gay from the beginning. No problem with it. They were really

cool.

Long story short, Karen caught Bill cheating and she kicked him out.

So, uh...

Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with leukemia.

And two days before my 17th birthday, she died.

They let me back here when I was 18.

By leaving me this place, she made sure I'd always have hope.

You know, you, mister, are very brave.

I think...

That all that stuff that you've gone through has made you into the man you

today.

I guess.

Why are you so nice to me?

I don't know.

You're sweet.

You're open.

You're honest.

I've never met anybody like you before.

I've never told anyone that stuff before.

Well, I'm glad you did.

Now, are you ready for dessert?

Hell yeah.

Scoop!

Not that much. Pick that up.

Damn.

All right, that's good. That's good. That's good.

I can't eat all that.

What are you talking about? You can't handle that.

All right, a little more. A little more.

Oh, yeah.

More? No. I'm going over here. All right.

So what is with all these horses?

Childhood fantasy.

I love horses.

This one.

I've had since I was four, I think.

It's my favorite.

I've been collecting since, oh God, my entire life.

My one constant.

I used to hide, you know, hide in my closet.

I'd sit with this one and hope and pray that one day he would come to life,

right?

And just take me away from all the hell that I was living.

You ever ride one?

A few times.

In Vermont.

We should go.

To Vermont?

No, Nimrod.

Horseback riding.

You do that with me?

Yeah.

You do realize this is disgusting, don't you?

Oh, come on. Leave poor Hermie alone.

You know, there is only one thing I hate in this world, and it is nasty, hairy

spiders.

Oh, come on.

He's only a little bit poisonous.

Don't tap the glass.

I mean, couldn't you settle for, like, a dog or a cat?

No, I don't like yappy little parrot -pilting dogs, and Lord knows I ain't a

pussy.

What does one do with a spider, anyway? I mean, you can't take him out and play

with him.

Sure you can.

I take him out all the time.

Let him roam all over me.

Remind me not to be here when you do that.

Ow! Fuck!

You ass!

You sure you don't want to hold him? No!

I would shit myself twice.

Oh, God.

Come on, baby.

I knew you were old.

No.

Okay.

I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic.

I've been sober for 15 years.

From drinking.

She was in rehab and then she went to a halfway house.

She wanted out. She came to live with me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

What happened?

I found her body submerged in the bathtub after the whole house flooded.

And for the longest time, I didn't know if she drowned or... Thank yourself to

death.

I'm so sorry.

You know, that didn't even stop me.

I kept using for years, and... I just finally got sick and tired of being sick

and tired.

So there you go.

That's one of my big secrets.

Wow.

I wasn't expecting that one.

So you haven't drank or smoked weed or done anything in 15 years.

Not even a little bit.

Man, I can't believe this is real Well, why don't you pinch me and

find out?

You're such a nerd

He was like my knight in shining armor.

I never met someone who really listens to me the way he does.

It sounds like you're quite enamored with Jeremy.

Where is he?

Does he know I'm in here?

Let me ask you something.

Would you ever intentionally do something to Jeremy that would hurt him?

No.

Absolutely not.

Why would you say something like that?

I need to see him.

No!

You're very angry.

I understand that.

You don't understand shit.

You have no idea what it's like to be me.

That's exactly what we need to find out.

I don't need to hear this right now.

Give me that goddamn it. How many times do I have to tell you not at the dinner

table?

There.

Now maybe you'll finish your dinner.

You are not leaving this table until you finish every goddamn bit of that. Do

you hear me?

Do you hear me? But I don't like it, Mommy.

Eat!

Eat! Eat!

Eat! You little pussy boy! Eat!

Eat! Eat!

Eat! Eat!

You're out of bed.

I never told anyone.

Make sure this doesn't bother you.

No.

I just don't want you

to be tempted.

I really need to unwind tonight.

You really need to realize that there is so much good in you.

And validating that good is... I

just feel alone.

I feel alone sometimes.

I can't shake this feeling of being alone.

You can change that.

That is all up to you.

Besides, you, mister, have me now.

Please stay with me tonight.

Come on, sleepyhead, wake up. I got a surprise for you.

Yo, sleeping beauty, wake up.

What is Saturday?

Yeah, I know. Let's go.

Where are we going?

Up, up, up.

I got a surprise.

He hates surprises.

I heard that.

Now can you tell me what we're doing here?

Well, since horses are the one thing that brighten that beautiful smile, I

thought you should have one of your own.

What are you talking about?

This farm is part of an adopt -a -horse program. You get to adopt a old or

abused horse.

Okay? I want you to meet Nero Fiddles.

Nero, meet your new owner, Caleb.

Kidding, right? She's 15 years old. She's friendly, healthy, and I think a

old lesbian.

Just remember, don't shovel shit or anything like that.

No, of course not.

There's one more thing.

What?

I just want you to know that you have made me.

I've been in my entire life.

I never felt this way about another guy.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

It was the first time I ever heard someone tell me that with such

It was a foreign word to me.

I don't even think I love myself.

Did you ever?

No.

No.

Why is that?

Even when I was a little kid, being told I was a pussy boy or a faggot all the

time doesn't do much for the self -esteem.

Who called you that?

My mother.

I'm sorry.

You're not a pussy.

And you're not a faggot.

Is that dick?

Is that what you think a faggot is?

What a faggot is is disgusting slang.

That's all.

Whatever.

I'm gay, okay?

Oh, great.

That's not a bad thing.

Now... You had love.

Genuine love.

And... Ponyboy.

You know, from that movie, The Outsider?

I don't like the name, but don't say I ever hear it.

Oh, man, you youngins today.

Can't get no respect.

How about you?

Johnny Darko.

Who?

Jake Gyllenhaal.

When he was a teen.

That whole Darko rooting thing.

He had all that dark hair, had that rebel thing going on.

I had actually got caught beating off thinking about him.

Nuh -uh.

Really?

I had hung this Outsiders poster on my bedroom wall, and I thought I was being

all inconspicuous about it with it hung behind my bed.

Oops.

I'd lay back with my feet on the pillow, and I'd get busy.

My mom comes in with a pile of laundry, and there I am, whacking off.

Choking the chicken, yeah. Go on.

I'd have my shirt pulled up against me.

and I'm so caught off guard that I roll off the bed and I fall to the ground.

Classic.

It was like something out of a Ben Stiller movie, but... I mean, honestly,

real experience was not that fun.

You were alone.

Now I have you.

So let me ask you something.

I have thought about it a couple times.

Someday.

I have a new family.

I have a nice couple.

They take really good care of me.

That's nice, sweetie.

Kind of boring.

But they're cool.

What's brown and sticky?

Poop. No!

A stick, silly.

I'm in school.

I try really hard.

It's all right. I don't really get the whole Algebra 2 thing.

What does a perverted frog say?

I don't know.

Rub it.

Rub it. Rub it.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lick a lot of puss.

Come on, Kathy.

Hey,

hey. Just one more. One more.

Promise. And then we will go down to have apple puffs.

I need my salt.

Okay.

What is the number one cause of pedophilia?

Get it?

Get it?

It's sexy babies.

It's sexy babies.

Sexy babies.

It's the babies.

The babies.

Why would someone who rarely cooks have two jars of cream of tartar?

I honestly don't even know what that is.

I don't either.

So how long do we cook this for?

Half hour maybe?

So where did you learn all this kitchen stuff?

You don't really even seem like the cooking type.

Magic.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You shouldn't have.

Just open it.

So I thought in the drugstore and I thought of you.

Oh.

Oh my god, a Bugs Bunny toothbrush.

I know, it's silly.

No, it is not silly.

It is very sweet.

I just thought that we could, um...

Take it to the next step. Level the... I just, uh...

You can keep it here.

With no more overnight toiletry bag.

No more overnight toiletry bag.

No.

Oh! Um... And... Becky.

You're whole.

No! Oh, gross.

No, um, to my heart. No, the house.

The house.

Or to my heart.

The house.

Baby.

Thank you.

I love you so much.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do it.

I'm sorry, all right?

I... I... I shouldn't have done that. I apologize.

Just fucking stop. Just fucking stop!

Why can't you bring me a fucking boyfriend and not my keeper?

I'm not... You have fucking no idea!

So what? I thought I was doing... So now you know the Caleb, the Jacobs fucking

family secret.

How do you feel about it, huh?

You want to know a secret?

You want to know a secret? I've been keeping tabs on the bitch the entire

In the fucking loony bin. That's exactly where she's been.

I knew that.

I fucking knew that.

Just calm down. No. Don't tell me to calm down. I'm sorry, okay?

I thought I was doing something right. You have no fucking idea how it feels.

You have fucking no idea.

Enough. Enough, okay?

Shut up.

Alright?

And I'd be comatose.

That's all I needed. Did you discuss this with your therapist?

What's the point? I'd just get another pill and... With the right diagnosis and

medication, it's amazing what can happen.

Let's get something straight.

I'm not her, all right?

I'm not her.

You're fucking sweet.

You fucking piece of shit.

You ugly little pussy bitch.

Come whore.

You did this to me.

You made me like this. You did it.

You made me what I am.

You. You.

You. You little faggot.

Little faggot.

I can't stand you.

I cannot stand that I pushed you out of my vagina.

You ruined me.

You tore up my inside and stole every piece of me

when you...

force your little fat wrinkly baby body into this world. My heart.

My intestine.

My pussy.

My fucking anus.

You're gross.

You are disgusting.

Look at you.

Just look at you.

Devil spawn.

Worse than even the man who dumped his sperm into me.

And all for what?

For what?

So that you could run around sticking AIDS -ridden dicks in your asshole, you

sad, pathetic, faggot, homo.

I hate you. No.

You didn't go to the hospital?

No, I didn't go to the hospital.

I wasn't going to leave you like this.

You and I, we need to talk.

Do you hate me?

No.

No, I don't hate you.

I am the one that you should hate.

This is all my fault.

I never should have bought in.

This isn't anyone's fault.

I still

do

not comprehend why you would cut yourself like this.

I don't know.

I guess I just wanted the outside to look like the way I feel on the inside.

Oh, fuck. This is stupid.

You know, suicide is not an option.

I wasn't going to do that.

You know, I look at you, and all I see is pain.

I just want to make it better.

You know, that's just it.

Don't try so hard.

I'm not used to all this.

You know, no one has ever given me this much.

And... Every single time I let someone in, they just leave me.

So don't try so hard, okay?

What was I supposed to do?

I walk in and I see you bleeding.

I don't call that trying too hard, okay?

I call that trying to take care of somebody I love.

You're not going to leave me now, are you?

Did you not just hear what I said?

Huh?

I said I love you.

You know, the past eight months have changed my life more than you will ever

know.

You know what you need?

A little body?

Maybe.

Yeah, probably.

I think you need a little bit of Nero in the morning.

Yeah.

That one's mine.

Ready? Want to see what it is?

He's good for something.

Cute.

Oh, my God.

Adorable. Here we go.

Oh. But Daddy's not going to be the one getting up in the middle of the night

feeding her. Now is he?

She knows me like a book.

I'm kidding.

She just kicked.

This kid has been going crazy all day.

Honey, feel, feel.

Baby, could you grab the recycling bin, too?

Oh, you didn't.

These are my favorite.

Don't forget the box.

It's in the car. Okay.

The longest time I... I didn't even love myself.

Yeah, you just have to... You have to be completely honest with me.

We're gonna make this work.

I like it that way.

Why?

I'm sorry, baby. I got stuck in the ear.

I see

how

this goes.

Is this my payback for being late?

It's good.

Oh, you dirty boy.

How did you get these?

Come on, let me explain.

Take these off.

Kay, Kay, wait, let me explain. Kay, wait!

Kay!

Caleb, take these fucking things off me. Kay!

Kay!

Please stop.

Please stop.

Please stop.

Stop fucking busting!

Damn it!

You're fucking crazy.

What did you call me?

I have been in here for hours.

You fucking psycho!

Please go in.

Don't hit me.

You sound like a faggot. You are a faggot, right?

Right?

Answer the question.

Louder. I want to hear it again.

Yes.

Very good.

Now, I know that.

And you know that.

And your wife knows that.

Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

Why? Listen to me.

Damn, you are pathetic.

No.

Nothing that we did was a lie.

That just blows my mind.

And she's pregnant. She's pregnant, too.

Take that off of me.

Your wife really wants that.

Please tell me you didn't hurt her. Please tell me you didn't hurt her.

She's fine.

What do you think?

I'm sorry, baby.

I'm so sorry.

Shut up.

You're not who I thought you were.

You're just like everybody else. No.

You're not listening.

I'm sorry.

Shut up.

Just stop.

Please let me go.

I won't tell anyone, please. Just let me go.

Have you heard of brief reactive psychosis?

No.

Enlighten me.

It's usually triggered by an extremely stressful event in one's life.

You've had many recently.

The subject tends to hear voices and hallucinate, to see and hear things that

aren't really there. They do things they wouldn't normally ever do.

Does this sound familiar?

We've talked about your life growing up.

The abandonment.

So, what's that got to do with why I'm here?

I'm thinking that perhaps the new details you discovered about Jeremy's

may have been a trigger for what transpired with him.

You people keep saying, what's transpired with Jeremy? I don't know

talking about.

Do you hear yourself?

You have an acute reaction to rejection.

I don't know how many times I can pick myself up with him.

I don't have a credit card.

Oh, who's Dawn?

Do you fuck him too?

Should I take that out of you?

No.

Ooh, look at that. That's the first word you said in hours.

I was beginning to think you were mad at me.

So what's her name?

Your bit.

Fuck you.

Why don't you get married if you're gay?

You have no clue about our relationship.

You're gay.

You can't make that go away.

All right, yes, I'm gay.

Okay, there, I said it.

I'm gay.

Does he even know?

Why did you marry her?

Because I thought it would change.

I thought having a baby would make things different.

Do you hear how ridiculous that is?

Oh, it's so easy for you, isn't it?

We grew up in different times, Kay.

You? You have things like fucking glee.

Where I grew up, all I heard is that gay equals AIDS.

You're gay, you die.

That kept me hiding.

You want to know the real reason my adopted mother threw her husband out?

She caught him fucking me.

He'd been molesting me for years. You have no idea what it feels like to have

the man that's supposed to be your father ripping your ass open.

And AIDS?

You think I wasn't scared of dying? That disgusting creeper shot his load in my

ass constantly.

If you think I wasn't scared of dying, think again, my friend.

I should be back by three.

Would you like me to leave the TV on for you?

The TV.

There's my TV.

Okay.

Before I go, take three of these.

One, two, and three.

Drink.

Drink.

Swallow.

Now I know you know how to do that.

Good boy.

Open. Come on.

Open. Come on.

For the anxiety.

You should do the trick.

I want to go home.

You are home.

Hey. Can I get one of these?

I've seen you here.

I don't work here.

So listen, I'm hot. I think you're kind of hot.

What do you say we make it happen?

That's stupid.

You're stupid.

I wasn't married.

Yeah, well, uh, good luck with that.

I'm out.

You're a nasty little bitch, aren't you?

Get up.

Come on.

Shut up, pussy.

Hmm.

Thank you.

What the fuck are you doing?

I thought you liked it, Dad.

Don't worry.

I have something better for you.

You're about to lose one thing that you work so hard for.

It's good, isn't it?

Have some more.

Come on, don't be greedy. Let's get drunk together.

Do you hate me?

No.

No, I don't hate you.

I am the one that you should hate.

This is all my fault.

This isn't anyone's fault.

You're not gonna leave me now, are you?

I said I love you.

You know, the past eight months have changed my life more than you'll ever

even though I'm really scared.

No! No!

And what was that?

Everything will be okay.

Jeremy?

Jeremy, I need help.

Jeremy?

What's this all about?

Jeremy?

Are you okay?

That right, baby.

Somebody tell me what the hell is going on here.

Go on.

Tell her.

Just like we practiced.

Come on. I... I...

Am... Am... A...

Please. I... I...

Bag it.

How are we supposed to be a family when you have a wife?

We've been sucking for almost a year.

Tell her how you like to go down on me.

He sucks a mean cock swallow, too.

Ooh! Look at that!

Nice throw. You're more of a man than he is.

Let's see what we all got here.

Wouldn't it be great if Mommy had a dirty little secret, too?

I did it.

I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

The last thing I remember was being in Jeremy's house.

And that was it.

We're just dead.

Let's start at the beginning.

Are you hungry still? Are you hungry still?

You want to play with the cow?

You want your little cow?

You want your little cow?

I know you do. I know you do.

You want to eat? I know you do.

I know you do.

Thank you.