Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,477
'This is the story
2
00:00:22,597 --> 00:00:25,102
'of the Hitchhiker's Guide
To The Galaxy...
3
00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:28,363
'perhaps the most remarkable,
4
00:00:28,483 --> 00:00:30,594
'certainly the most successful book
5
00:00:30,714 --> 00:00:34,941
'ever to come out of
the great publishers of Ursa Minor.
6
00:00:35,517 --> 00:00:39,051
'More popular than
The Celestial Home Care Omnibus,
7
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:43,748
'better selling than Fifty-three
More Things To Do In Zero Gravity,
8
00:00:43,971 --> 00:00:47,737
'and more controversial
than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy
9
00:00:47,857 --> 00:00:52,048
'of philosophical blockbusters,
Where God Went Wrong,
10
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:55,159
'Some More
Of God's Greatest Mistakes
11
00:00:55,908 --> 00:00:59,040
'and Who Is
This God Person Anyway?
12
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,287
'And in many
of the more relaxed civilisations
13
00:01:02,407 --> 00:01:04,848
'on the Outer Eastern Rim
of the Galaxy,
14
00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:07,526
'the Hitchhiker's Guide
has already supplanted
15
00:01:07,646 --> 00:01:10,182
'the great Encyclopaedia Galactica
16
00:01:10,302 --> 00:01:13,804
'as the standard repository
of all knowledge and wisdom,
17
00:01:14,439 --> 00:01:20,187
'for though it has many omissions
and contains much that is apocryphal,
18
00:01:20,307 --> 00:01:23,179
'it scores over
the older, more pedestrian work
19
00:01:23,299 --> 00:01:25,398
'in two important respects.
20
00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:32,080
'First, it is slightly cheaper
and, secondly, it has the words:
21
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,524
'inscribed in large,
friendly letters on the cover.
22
00:01:37,591 --> 00:01:39,166
'To tell the story of the book,
23
00:01:39,286 --> 00:01:42,806
'it is best to tell the story of some
of those whose lives it affected.
24
00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:45,636
'A human from the planet Earth
was one of them,
25
00:01:46,329 --> 00:01:47,937
'though, as our story opens,
26
00:01:48,057 --> 00:01:49,910
'he no more knows his destiny
27
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:53,431
'than a tea leaf knows the history
of the East India Company.
28
00:01:54,276 --> 00:01:58,691
'His name is Arthur Dent,
he is a six-foot-tall ape descendant,
29
00:01:58,811 --> 00:02:03,030
'and someone is trying to drive
a bypass through his home.'
30
00:02:55,706 --> 00:02:58,840
Come off it, Mr Dent -
you can't win, you know.
31
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,562
You can't lie in front
of the bulldozers indefinitely.
32
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,016
I'm game. We'll see who rusts first!
33
00:03:04,345 --> 00:03:09,520
You're going to have to accept it.
This bypass has got to be built.
34
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,440
Why's it got to be built?
35
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,022
What do you mean -
why's it got to be built?
36
00:03:14,142 --> 00:03:17,560
It's a bypass!
You've got to build bypasses.
37
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,156
You were entitled to make suggestions
or protests at the appropriate time.
38
00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:23,000
Appropriate time?!
39
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:27,160
The first I heard about it was
when a workman arrived yesterday.
40
00:03:27,752 --> 00:03:29,560
I thought
he'd come to clean the windows.
41
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,622
He said
he'd come to demolish the house!
42
00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:34,400
He didn't tell me straightaway,
of course.
43
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,950
He wiped a couple of windows
and charged me �5! Then he told me!
44
00:03:38,983 --> 00:03:41,907
But, Mr Dent,
the plans have been available
45
00:03:42,027 --> 00:03:44,426
in the planning office
for the last nine months!
46
00:03:44,546 --> 00:03:48,680
Yes, of course. As soon as I heard,
I went straight round to see them.
47
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:53,760
You hadn't exactly gone out of
your way to draw attention to them!
48
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,240
But the plans were on display!
49
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,993
On display? I eventually
had to go down to the cellar!
50
00:04:00,113 --> 00:04:02,213
- That's the display department!
- With a torch!
51
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,640
- No lights.
- No stairs!
52
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,128
- But you did see the notice?
- Oh, yes.
53
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,960
It was on display in the bottom
of a locked filing cabinet,
54
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,160
in a disused lavatory with a sign
on the door, "Beware of the leopard!"
55
00:04:16,015 --> 00:04:17,953
Ever thought of going
into advertising?
56
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,274
And you don't get me
like that either!
57
00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:30,960
Mr Dent...
58
00:04:31,181 --> 00:04:34,920
have you any idea how much damage
this bulldozer would suffer
59
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,160
if I were to let it run over you?
60
00:04:38,383 --> 00:04:39,320
How much?
61
00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:41,302
None at all!
62
00:04:41,789 --> 00:04:44,960
'By a strange coincidence,
"None at all"
63
00:04:45,312 --> 00:04:49,296
'is exactly how much suspicion
the ape descendant Arthur Dent had
64
00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:52,980
'that one of his closest friends
was not descended from an ape,
65
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,399
'but was in fact from a small planet
66
00:04:55,519 --> 00:04:58,165
'somewhere in the vicinity
of Betelgeuse.
67
00:05:01,086 --> 00:05:03,280
'Arthur Dent's failure
to suspect this
68
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,800
'reflects the care with which his
friend blended into human society,
69
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:12,581
'after a fairly shaky start,
when he first arrived 15 years ago.
70
00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:15,556
'The minimal research he had done
suggested to him
71
00:05:15,676 --> 00:05:19,794
'that the name Ford Prefect
would be nicely inconspicuous.
72
00:05:22,612 --> 00:05:26,457
'He will enter our story
in 30 seconds and say,
73
00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,005
"'Hello, Arthur."
74
00:05:29,578 --> 00:05:32,253
'The ape descendant
will greet him in return
75
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,391
'but, in deference to a million years
of human evolution,
76
00:05:35,511 --> 00:05:37,728
'won't attempt to pick fleas off him.
77
00:05:39,457 --> 00:05:41,991
'Earthmen are not proud
of their ancestors
78
00:05:42,111 --> 00:05:44,572
'and never invite them to dinner.'
79
00:05:55,602 --> 00:05:56,413
Hello, Arthur.
80
00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:59,360
Ford, hi. How are you?
81
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:00,425
Fine.
82
00:06:02,768 --> 00:06:06,080
Look, are you busy?
83
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:10,531
Busy?! Well, I've just got
this bulldozer to lie in front of,
84
00:06:10,651 --> 00:06:14,132
or it'll knock my house down, but
otherwise... no, not especially. Why?
85
00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:19,480
- Good. Anywhere we can talk?
- What?
86
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,744
- We've got to talk.
- Fine! Talk.
87
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:25,360
And drink. It's vitally important
that we talk and drink. Now!
88
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,345
- We'll go to the pub.
- You don't understand.
89
00:06:28,465 --> 00:06:30,363
He wants to knock my house down.
90
00:06:30,483 --> 00:06:33,415
- He can do it whilst you're away.
- I don't want him to!
91
00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:37,280
Ford? What's the matter?
92
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,569
Nothing... nothing's the matter.
93
00:06:40,874 --> 00:06:43,120
I've got to tell you the most
important thing you've ever heard.
94
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,880
- I've got to tell you NOW in the pub.
- Why?
95
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,688
- Because you'll need a stiff drink!
- No! No! What about my house?
96
00:06:53,702 --> 00:06:55,720
- He wants to knock your house down?
- Yes.
97
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,349
- But you're lying in the way?
- Exactly!
98
00:07:00,091 --> 00:07:01,676
I think we can come
to some arrangement.
99
00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:08,161
- Excuse me!
- Hello? Yes?
100
00:07:08,466 --> 00:07:10,169
Has Mr Dent come to his senses yet?
101
00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:13,344
Can we, for the moment,
assume he hasn't?
102
00:07:14,565 --> 00:07:15,800
Well?
103
00:07:16,726 --> 00:07:19,320
Can we also assume that he's going
to be staying there all day?
104
00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:21,120
So?
105
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:26,013
So all your men are going to be
standing around, doing nothing.
106
00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:29,972
Could be, could be...
107
00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:33,812
If you're resigned to that, you
don't actually need him to lie there?
108
00:07:35,491 --> 00:07:38,289
Not as such. Not exactly "need"...
109
00:07:38,409 --> 00:07:43,440
So pretend he's there. Then we could
go to the pub. How does that sound?
110
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:47,320
Er... that sounds
perfectly reasonable... I suppose.
111
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,371
And if you want to pop off
for a quick one yourself later on,
112
00:07:50,891 --> 00:07:52,970
we'll always cover for you in return.
113
00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:57,818
Yes, thank you very much.
That's very kind.
114
00:07:59,203 --> 00:08:01,720
So if you'd just like to lie down...
115
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:03,560
What?
116
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:04,528
It's very simple.
117
00:08:04,648 --> 00:08:06,815
Mr Dent will stop lying in the mud
118
00:08:06,935 --> 00:08:10,560
- On condition that you take over.
- What?
119
00:08:10,977 --> 00:08:11,576
Sorry?
120
00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:16,920
You want me...
to come and lie down there?
121
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,602
- Yes.
- In front of the bulldozer?
122
00:08:20,861 --> 00:08:23,820
- Yes.
- Instead of Mr Dent?
123
00:08:25,931 --> 00:08:28,373
- Yes.
- In the mud?
124
00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:32,196
In, as you say, the mud.
125
00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:38,328
In return for which, you will
take Mr Dent down to the pub?
126
00:08:38,704 --> 00:08:39,502
Yes.
127
00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:41,621
Promise?
128
00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:43,382
Promise.
129
00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:50,335
- Get up and let the man lie down.
- Thank you.
130
00:08:58,342 --> 00:09:02,295
And no sneaky knocking
Mr Dent's house down while he's away.
131
00:09:02,863 --> 00:09:05,579
The slightest thought
hadn't even begun to speculate
132
00:09:05,699 --> 00:09:08,127
about the merest possibility
of crossing my mind.
133
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:13,808
- But can we trust him?
- To the end of the Earth.
134
00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,736
- Yes, but how far's that?
- About 12 minutes away.
135
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,121
Come on.
We've got to get some alcohol.
136
00:09:19,699 --> 00:09:23,926
'Here's what the Encyclopaedia
Galactica has to say about alcohol.
137
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:28,099
'It says that alcohol
is a colourless volatile liquid
138
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,600
'formed by the fermentation of sugars,
139
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,101
'and also notes
its intoxicating effect
140
00:09:33,221 --> 00:09:35,679
'on certain carbon-based lifeforms.
141
00:09:37,059 --> 00:09:40,887
'The Hitchhiker's Guide
To The Galaxy also mentions alcohol.
142
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,960
'It says the:
143
00:09:56,984 --> 00:09:57,970
'... the effect of which
144
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,340
'is like having your brain
smashed out with a slice of lemon...
145
00:10:02,115 --> 00:10:04,604
'wrapped round a large gold brick.
146
00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:09,607
'The Guide also tells you
147
00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:13,800
'on which planets the best Pan
Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed,
148
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,242
'how much
you can expect to pay for one
149
00:10:16,362 --> 00:10:20,168
'and what voluntary organisations
exist to help you rehabilitate.
150
00:10:21,122 --> 00:10:24,093
'The man who invented
this mind-pummelling drink
151
00:10:24,213 --> 00:10:28,349
'also invented the wisest remark
ever made, which was this:
152
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:40,640
'His name is:
153
00:10:40,936 --> 00:10:43,578
'and we shall learn
more of his wisdom later.'
154
00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:59,280
Six pints of bitter. And quickly,
please. The world's about to end.
155
00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:01,760
Oh, yes, sir? Nice weather for it.
156
00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:05,291
- Going to the match today, sir?
- No. No point.
157
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:07,280
Foregone conclusion, then?
158
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,000
- Arsenal no chance?
- No, the world's about to end.
159
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,712
Oh, yes, sir. So you said.
Lucky escape for Arsenal if it did.
160
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,841
- No, not really.
- There you are, sir. Six pints.
161
00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:23,040
Keep the change.
162
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,715
What? From a fiver? Thank you, sir!
163
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:27,323
You've got ten minutes to spend it!
164
00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:35,910
What the hell's going on?
I'm losing my grip on the day.
165
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:39,514
- Drink up. Three pints to go!
- Three pints? At lunchtime?
166
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,480
Time is an illusion,
lunchtime doubly so.
167
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:47,239
Send that in to the Reader's Digest.
There's a page for people like you!
168
00:11:47,787 --> 00:11:50,200
- Drink up.
- Why three pints?
169
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:52,800
Muscle relaxant.
You're going to need it.
170
00:11:53,825 --> 00:11:55,363
Did I do something wrong this morning
171
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:56,948
or has the world
always been like this,
172
00:11:57,068 --> 00:11:59,063
and I was too wrapped up
in myself to notice?
173
00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:03,970
I'll try to explain.
174
00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:10,477
- How long have we known each other?
- Er, five years, maybe six.
175
00:12:11,194 --> 00:12:14,385
Most of it made some kind
of sense at the time.
176
00:12:14,505 --> 00:12:19,594
How would you react if I told you
I'm not from Guildford after all,
177
00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:22,989
but from a small planet somewhere
in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
178
00:12:23,297 --> 00:12:26,640
Why-do you think it's the sort
of thing you're likely to say?
179
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,026
Drink up. The world is about to end.
180
00:12:30,814 --> 00:12:34,043
This must be Thursday. I never could
get the hang of Thursdays.
181
00:12:37,942 --> 00:12:39,973
'On this particular Thursday,
182
00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:42,960
'things were moving
through the ionosphere.
183
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,362
'Many miles
above the surface of the planet,
184
00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:49,600
'several huge yellow slab-like
somethings...
185
00:12:50,008 --> 00:12:52,802
'huge as office blocks,
silent as birds,
186
00:12:53,084 --> 00:12:56,646
'they hung in the air exactly
the same way that bricks don't.
187
00:13:00,726 --> 00:13:03,626
'The planet was almost
totally oblivious of their presence.
188
00:13:03,861 --> 00:13:06,018
'They went unnoticed at Goonhilly,
189
00:13:06,138 --> 00:13:08,720
'they passed over Cape Canaveral
without a blip,
190
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,360
'and Woomera and Jodrell Bank
looked straight through them;
191
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:17,142
'a pity, because it was the sort
of thing they'd looked for for ages.
192
00:13:18,762 --> 00:13:21,833
'Arthur Dent, too,
had other things on his mind.'
193
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:24,141
What's that?
194
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,428
- They haven't started yet.
- Good.
195
00:13:26,548 --> 00:13:29,006
- Probably your house.
- What?
196
00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:33,480
- Five minutes to go.
- Damn you and your fairy stories!
197
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,654
Stop, you vandals! You home wreckers!
198
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:39,611
- You half-crazed Visigoths, stop!
- Arthur! Stop! It's pointless!
199
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,968
Barman, quickly, can you just
give me four packets of peanuts?
200
00:13:44,088 --> 00:13:45,622
I'm just serving this gentleman.
201
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:48,360
He's going to die shortly! Come on!
202
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,901
Just a minute, sir.
203
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:53,411
Do you mind, sir?
204
00:13:56,424 --> 00:13:58,232
Pork scratchings...
205
00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:00,416
- Peanuts! How much?
- What?
206
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,015
Have it.
207
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,247
Have it. Keep it!
208
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,374
Is the world really
going to end this afternoon?
209
00:14:13,494 --> 00:14:16,028
Yes,
in just over 3 minutes and 5 seconds.
210
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:20,000
- But isn't there anything we can do?
- No, nothing.
211
00:14:20,437 --> 00:14:24,320
I thought we were meant to lie down
or put a paper bag over our head.
212
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,600
Yes, if you like.
213
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,618
- Oh, will that help?
- No. Excuse me. I've got to go.
214
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:33,791
Oh, well, then...
215
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,466
Last orders, please!
216
00:14:40,158 --> 00:14:43,094
You pin-striped barbarians! I'll sue
the council for every penny it's got!
217
00:14:47,312 --> 00:14:50,040
I'll have you hung, drawn, quartered,
218
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,960
and whipped and boiled... until...
219
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,440
until you've had enough!
220
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:59,295
Arthur, don't... There's no point.
There's only a minute or so left.
221
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:00,434
And then I'll do it some more!
222
00:15:00,554 --> 00:15:05,732
I'll take all the little bits
and jump on them till I get blisters,
223
00:15:05,852 --> 00:15:11,090
or I think of something worse...
What the hell's that?
224
00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:20,545
Arthur, quick! Over here!
225
00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:23,680
What the hell is it?
226
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,680
It's a fleet of flying saucers -
what do you think it is?
227
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,845
Hold this.
228
00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:31,600
- What do you mean, flying saucers?
- A Vogon constructor fleet.
229
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,062
- What?
- A Vogon constructor fleet.
230
00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:37,479
I picked up news of their arrival
a few hours ago on my sub-etha radio.
231
00:15:37,599 --> 00:15:42,200
I can't cope with this.
I'm going to have to have a lie-down.
232
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,161
No, stay here. Stay calm.
233
00:15:44,281 --> 00:15:46,063
Take hold of this...
234
00:16:32,634 --> 00:16:35,100
People of Earth, attention, please!
235
00:16:40,325 --> 00:16:42,298
People of Earth, attention, please!
236
00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:44,705
This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
237
00:16:44,825 --> 00:16:47,283
of the Galactic
Hyperspace Planning Council.
238
00:16:48,163 --> 00:16:49,460
As you are probably aware,
239
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:54,760
the plans for the outlying regions of
the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy
240
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,600
require a hyperspace express route
to be built through your star system,
241
00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:02,440
and, regrettably, your planet is one
of those scheduled for demolition.
242
00:17:02,803 --> 00:17:06,120
The process will take slightly lessthan two of your Earth minutes.
243
00:17:07,457 --> 00:17:08,666
Thank you very much.
244
00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:19,040
- Get out of it!
- No! No! No! Go away!
245
00:17:21,484 --> 00:17:23,821
All the planning charts
and demolition orders
246
00:17:23,941 --> 00:17:27,830
have been on display in your local
planning department in Alpha Centauri
247
00:17:27,950 --> 00:17:29,800
for 50 Earth years,
248
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,803
and so you've had plenty of timeto lodge any complaints...
249
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:35,840
It's far too late to make a fuss now!
250
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,697
What do you mean
you've never been to Alpha Centauri?
251
00:17:41,817 --> 00:17:46,040
Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind!
It's only four light years away!
252
00:17:46,594 --> 00:17:49,894
Sorry, but if you can't be bothered
to take an interest in local affairs,
253
00:17:50,014 --> 00:17:53,909
that's your own lookout!
Energise the demolition beam!
254
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,137
God, I don't know! Apathetic bloodyplanet, I've no sympathy at all!
255
00:18:53,562 --> 00:18:55,560
- I bought some peanuts.
- Uh...?
256
00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:58,347
We've just been through
a matter-transference beam.
257
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:01,040
You've lost some salt and protein.
258
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,123
The beer should have helped.
259
00:19:03,986 --> 00:19:06,640
- How do you feel?
- Like a military academy.
260
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,571
Bits of me keep passing out!
261
00:19:14,057 --> 00:19:18,671
Ford, if I asked you where
the hell we were, would I regret it?
262
00:19:19,845 --> 00:19:20,880
We're safe.
263
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,170
Ah, good.
264
00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:26,470
We're in a cabin of one of the ships
of the Vogon constructor fleet.
265
00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:30,038
Ah, this is obviously
some strange usage of the word "safe"
266
00:19:30,158 --> 00:19:33,432
I wasn't previously aware of.
What are you doing?
267
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:34,840
Looking for the light.
268
00:19:35,419 --> 00:19:39,280
- How did we get here?
- We hitched a lift.
269
00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:43,369
Excuse me! Are you telling me
we just stuck our thumbs out
270
00:19:43,489 --> 00:19:46,163
and some green bug-eyed monster said,
271
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:49,559
"Hop in! I can take you
as far as Basingstoke roundabout"?
272
00:19:49,679 --> 00:19:52,120
Well, the thumb's a sub-etha device,
273
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,880
and the roundabout's at Barnard's
Star, but that's more or less right.
274
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,920
- And the bug-eyed monster?
- Is green!
275
00:19:58,868 --> 00:19:59,702
Fine.
276
00:20:00,646 --> 00:20:04,192
- When can I go home?
- You can't. Ah!
277
00:20:07,018 --> 00:20:11,040
Good grief! Is this really
the interior of a flying saucer?
278
00:20:11,398 --> 00:20:13,758
Yes. What do you think?
279
00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:16,060
It's a bit squalid, isn't it?
280
00:20:19,265 --> 00:20:24,667
- What the hell is it, Ford?
- Come on! Let's get out of here!
281
00:20:24,787 --> 00:20:26,745
It's going to attack us.
282
00:20:26,865 --> 00:20:30,107
No, no, no, it just wants us
to turn the lights out.
283
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:36,352
Come on.
284
00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:41,200
Shh! Sleeping quarters.
We woke them up.
285
00:20:43,005 --> 00:20:44,640
Ford, they were...
286
00:20:45,947 --> 00:20:46,920
What?
287
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,394
Aliens?
288
00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:50,120
Dentrassi.
289
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,520
But, Ford...
290
00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:55,640
What's going on?
291
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,677
- Here, have a look at this.
- What is it?
292
00:20:58,797 --> 00:21:01,728
The Hitchhiker's Guide
To The Galaxy, an electronic book.
293
00:21:01,848 --> 00:21:05,389
- It'll tell you everything.
- I like the cover. "Don't panic"!
294
00:21:05,509 --> 00:21:11,054
- First helpful thing anyone's said!
- That's why it sells so well. Shh!
295
00:21:11,174 --> 00:21:11,773
What?
296
00:21:18,114 --> 00:21:18,994
"Don't panic"!
297
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:20,497
Look...
298
00:21:23,967 --> 00:21:25,751
Fast wind index... V.
299
00:21:25,986 --> 00:21:29,055
Vogon Constructor Fleets.
Enter that code and see what it says.
300
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,630
I'll keep watch.
301
00:21:35,783 --> 00:21:38,084
Vogon Constructor Fleets:
302
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,972
What an extraordinary book!
303
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,513
- How did we get on board, then?
- The Dentrassi let us on board.
304
00:22:36,633 --> 00:22:39,240
- You said Bogons.
- Vogons.
305
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:40,927
- Not Dentrassi?
- No.
306
00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:43,142
Dentrassi are
the in-flight caterers.
307
00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:51,319
Hey, Hagra biscuit! The greatest!
308
00:22:51,577 --> 00:22:56,728
You'll love these guys! They cook the
hoopiest frood food in the West Galaxy!
309
00:22:57,939 --> 00:22:59,840
Here, have a bite.
310
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,981
Go on, try it. Your mouth will love
you for the rest of your life.
311
00:23:06,138 --> 00:23:08,428
It's revolting!
312
00:23:08,548 --> 00:23:11,633
Oh, come on!
This stuff is the greatest.
313
00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:14,582
Mmm!
314
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,933
I think those guys
must really hate the Vogons.
315
00:23:24,944 --> 00:23:28,009
Now, remember this -
Dentrassi hate Vogons.
316
00:23:28,232 --> 00:23:31,690
That's why they let us on board.
Let's go!
317
00:23:34,574 --> 00:23:38,200
But if they let us on board,
why doesn't the Guide mention them?
318
00:23:39,310 --> 00:23:40,440
Oh, it's not very accurate.
319
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,449
Oh?
320
00:23:42,795 --> 00:23:44,310
I'm researching the new edition.
321
00:23:49,844 --> 00:23:52,169
Ah, storeroom.
322
00:23:58,358 --> 00:23:59,638
Where are we going?
323
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:03,177
Who knows?
Off this ship, that's for sure!
324
00:24:03,297 --> 00:24:06,911
We've only just arrived. Shouldn't we
say hello and thank you and things?
325
00:24:09,496 --> 00:24:12,640
Listen, this is a Vogon spaceship.
326
00:24:12,946 --> 00:24:15,480
We just pick up what we need
and get off it! Right?
327
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,064
Right.
328
00:24:21,238 --> 00:24:23,211
- Stun guns.
- Any good?
329
00:24:23,774 --> 00:24:24,373
No.
330
00:24:28,791 --> 00:24:30,024
Ford, who are you?
331
00:24:30,144 --> 00:24:33,464
I told you -
I'm a field researcher for the Guide.
332
00:24:34,615 --> 00:24:35,661
Telecom systems.
333
00:24:39,538 --> 00:24:41,441
I got stuck on Earth
longer than I meant.
334
00:24:41,561 --> 00:24:43,695
Went for a week,
got stuck for 15 years.
335
00:24:47,817 --> 00:24:49,520
Telepsychic helmets.
336
00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:50,614
Huh-huh!
337
00:24:52,618 --> 00:24:54,788
How did you get here
in the first place?
338
00:24:54,908 --> 00:24:59,268
Easy. I got a lift with a teaser...
Hypno rays?
339
00:25:00,311 --> 00:25:01,744
Teasers?
340
00:25:02,036 --> 00:25:03,950
Rich kids with nothing to do.
341
00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:04,996
They cruise around the Galaxy
342
00:25:05,116 --> 00:25:08,941
Iooking for planets that no one's
made contact with yet and buzz them.
343
00:25:09,290 --> 00:25:12,284
- Buzz them?
- Yeah. They find some isolated spot,
344
00:25:12,566 --> 00:25:15,608
land right by some unsuspecting soul
that no one's ever going to believe,
345
00:25:15,728 --> 00:25:19,095
and strut up and down in front
of them, making beep-beep noises.
346
00:25:20,966 --> 00:25:22,222
Rather childish, really.
347
00:25:24,653 --> 00:25:25,628
Ah!
348
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,110
A towel! Keep this.
349
00:25:30,230 --> 00:25:31,942
- Guard it with your life.
- Huh?
350
00:25:32,062 --> 00:25:34,521
Listen, it's a tough universe.
351
00:25:34,756 --> 00:25:39,425
All sorts of people trying to
kill you, rip you off, everything...
352
00:25:39,759 --> 00:25:41,379
If you're going to survive out there,
353
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,137
you've really got to know
where your towel is.
354
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,840
Now, fish.
355
00:25:51,484 --> 00:25:52,858
Huh?
356
00:25:53,809 --> 00:25:56,000
Fish. Over here, I think.
357
00:25:56,662 --> 00:25:57,718
Fish?
358
00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:06,880
Fish.
359
00:26:07,241 --> 00:26:09,637
- Very nice.
- Very, very useful.
360
00:26:15,380 --> 00:26:18,200
- What do I do with it?
- Stick it in your ear.
361
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:22,986
It's only little!
Listen...
362
00:26:23,106 --> 00:26:24,982
- What?
- The Vogon captain.
363
00:26:25,102 --> 00:26:27,631
- But I can't speak Vogon.
- Put this in your ear!
364
00:26:28,124 --> 00:26:31,670
... should have a good time. Message repeat.
365
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,920
This is your captain speaking, so pay attention.
366
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:38,706
First of all,
I see from our instruments
367
00:26:38,826 --> 00:26:43,600
that we have a couple of hitchhiker's
on board. Hello, wherever you are!
368
00:26:44,112 --> 00:26:48,040
I just want to make it totally clearthat you are not at all welcome.
369
00:26:48,472 --> 00:26:50,526
I worked hard to get where I am today
370
00:26:50,646 --> 00:26:52,922
and I didn't become captain
of a Vogon ship
371
00:26:53,042 --> 00:26:57,516
simply to turn it into a taxi service
for a lot of degenerate freeloaders.
372
00:26:58,068 --> 00:26:59,653
I have sent out a search party
373
00:26:59,773 --> 00:27:02,127
and, as soon as they find you,
I shall turn you off the ship.
374
00:27:02,925 --> 00:27:06,683
If you're very lucky, I might read
you some of my poetry first.
375
00:27:07,634 --> 00:27:10,556
Secondly,
we are about to jump into hyperspace
376
00:27:10,676 --> 00:27:12,525
for the journey to Barnard's Star.
377
00:27:12,775 --> 00:27:17,720
We will stay in dock for 72 hours
and all planet leave is cancelled.
378
00:27:18,285 --> 00:27:19,858
I've just had an unhappy love affair,
379
00:27:19,978 --> 00:27:22,347
so I don't see why anybody else
should have a good time.
380
00:27:23,005 --> 00:27:25,482
- Message ends.
- Poetry?
381
00:27:26,468 --> 00:27:27,666
What are you doing?
382
00:27:27,786 --> 00:27:32,880
Preparing for hyperspace.
It's unpleasantly like being drunk.
383
00:27:33,256 --> 00:27:37,360
- What's so wrong about being drunk?
- Ask a glass of water. Lie down.
384
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,739
- Grip the towel between your ankles.
- What?
385
00:27:41,859 --> 00:27:42,819
Just do it!
386
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:46,986
Like this?
387
00:27:47,106 --> 00:27:47,925
Right.
388
00:27:50,598 --> 00:27:52,876
Now wait...
389
00:27:57,178 --> 00:28:00,680
What exactly am I doing
with this fish in my ear?
390
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,488
It's translating for you.
Look in the book under Babel Fish.
391
00:28:10,202 --> 00:28:11,600
What's happening?
392
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,360
We're going into hyperspace.
393
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,840
I'll never be cruel
to a gin and tonic again!
394
00:30:14,924 --> 00:30:17,167
Hey, this towel's moved!
395
00:30:18,179 --> 00:30:23,288
Yes. That's a six-light-year jump.
Good.
396
00:30:23,408 --> 00:30:25,427
We must be near Barnard's Star.
397
00:30:25,547 --> 00:30:27,915
- We can jump a ship there.
- Can we?
398
00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:32,080
Ford, I hate to ask this,
but what am I doing here?
399
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,936
Simple. I rescued you from the Earth.
400
00:30:35,370 --> 00:30:37,550
- What happened to the Earth?
- It's been disintegrated.
401
00:30:38,243 --> 00:30:41,872
- Has it?
- Yes. Just boiled away into space.
402
00:30:43,426 --> 00:30:46,702
Listen, I'm a bit upset about that...
403
00:30:49,856 --> 00:30:50,783
Oh, well...
404
00:30:51,879 --> 00:30:54,240
All gone? Nothing left?
405
00:30:55,546 --> 00:30:57,880
What about the book?
Maybe the book's got something!
406
00:31:00,637 --> 00:31:02,152
It doesn't seem to have an entry.
407
00:31:02,272 --> 00:31:04,794
Yes, it does-at the bottom.
408
00:31:04,914 --> 00:31:08,539
Under Eccentrica Gullumbits, the
triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6.
409
00:31:08,876 --> 00:31:11,271
Oh, yes. What does it say?
410
00:31:11,893 --> 00:31:17,247
- Harmless.
One word? Harmless?
- Well, it's the old edition.
411
00:31:18,401 --> 00:31:20,960
There are 100 billion stars
in the Galaxy.
412
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:25,970
- No one knew much about Earth then!
- I hope you managed to rectify that!
413
00:31:26,090 --> 00:31:32,040
- I sent a new entry to the editor.
- What does it say now?
414
00:31:32,469 --> 00:31:34,688
- Mostly harmless.
- Mostly harmless?
415
00:31:34,808 --> 00:31:38,371
I think that's pretty good coverage
for a disintegrated pile of rubble!
416
00:31:38,491 --> 00:31:40,650
That's meant to make me feel better?
417
00:31:43,161 --> 00:31:45,263
Come on! Let's get to the teleport.
418
00:31:53,375 --> 00:31:54,880
What's the hell's that?
419
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,219
If we're lucky, it's a Vogon
come to throw us out into space.
420
00:31:58,339 --> 00:31:59,907
And if we're unlucky?
421
00:32:00,027 --> 00:32:03,593
The Vogon captain might want
to read us some of his poetry first.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
34303
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof