All language subtitles for Summer In My Veins Part 1 (1999)
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I should be asleep right now, but here I
am instead, at the last gay dance of my
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college life.
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I'm graduating in two days, and tomorrow
morning, my mother, who lives in India,
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is flying in to attend my graduation.
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It's her first trip out of India, and
she's bringing my two aunts with her,
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both have children in the U .S.
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We're all going to travel across the
country after my graduation to visit my
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cousin, and it should be a lot of fun,
except that my family has no idea that
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I'm gay, and I'm pretty worried about
that.
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And I want to come out to my mother
during this trip, but I don't know if I
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I'll just have to wait and see what
happens.
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When you came here four years back, did
you think that I would come for your
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graduation? Yeah. You knew it?
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Yeah.
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Good.
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Thank you, son.
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You made us very, very proud.
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I wish your dad was here. I wish your
brother was here.
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We must call them up tomorrow after your
graduation ceremony.
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We will?
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Yeah.
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Let's go.
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All right.
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Here we go.
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I have the honor to present to you these
women and men as recipients.
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of the first degree in the arts and
sciences.
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Julie Kristen Schultz, cum laude, with a
concentration in psychology.
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Nish Saran, magna cum laude, with
highest honors in visual and
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studies. She will be working next year
as a teaching fellow with the Harvard
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STEM department.
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Where is it?
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What cab?
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The one I was wearing.
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Oh, flown off. Where are you going? I
love that cab.
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It's yours?
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Yeah. Must have flown off. She should
have put under that.
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I put it under that one.
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I haven't seen my mom in about a year,
and it feels great to be with her again.
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We're headed to Columbus next, and
there's not much to do in Ohio, so I'll
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spending a lot of time at home with my
family.
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And I'm debating right now if that's the
best time to come out to them.
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But there's also something else that's
weighing on my mind, something much
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bigger that I'm worried about.
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It's very important for you to protect
yourself whenever you're exposed in any
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way. or having any kind of sexual
contacts and so on, using condoms, only
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condoms.
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Right before my mom came to Boston, I
got an HIV test, which would have been
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quite routine, except that a few months
ago I had sex with this guy, Troy, who
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is HIV positive.
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I'm going to get my test results when I
get back to Boston in a couple of weeks,
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and I'm now questioning my decision to
get the test when I did.
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It's not helping me enjoy this trip at
all, and it's somehow making coming out
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to my family more urgent.
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And the classroom that we went to?
Beautiful.
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What a classroom. I can imagine that.
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And now what a classroom. See, you had a
screen on top, and the way it was done,
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it looked like an old theater.
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But you know, what was the funniest was
Nishit's friends.
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One of them was so funny, Benji. Who?
Which one?
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Charlie. He came to pick me up at the
airport.
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Really? He was so funny, Benji. I
thought, Benji, is he a girl or a boy?
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What is he?
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So then I told Mina, I said, Mina, he
must be a homosexual.
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Definitely. I don't know what he is, but
he looked a little funny the way he
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would come and say, give me, give us a
kiss. There are some boys who look like
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girls, they're girlish like, you see.
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No, no, no. Homosexual. No. That is so.
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But that's okay. I mean, that's okay.
This is all in the game. I think it's
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part of growing up. Part of life and all
the game. No, I think it's more part of
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growing up than... How do you determine?
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Yeah, I think it might grow out.
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It might grow out. Even if it doesn't,
Panji, it has been legal. In the
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especially the atmosphere, the things
are very different. But when you grow up
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and you go into the world, you look at
things differently and you change. No,
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Panji, even if it is, this has become
legalized. It is legalized now and it is
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accepted thing.
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To my mind, I still believe that... No,
but what do you think? Is it a
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biological thing or it is just a growing
up thing? I don't know. You see,
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because they're very grown up people.
I've seen here, last year I was here,
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there was a parade of gays and all these
people, sexual. So seeing them, I don't
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know whether they are acting or they are
really there.
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This thing is there. No, they're not
acting. They're clubs.
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How can they make themselves believe?
How can they make themselves believe
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they are like that? Because they are...
But, you see, as for example...
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I mean, my nephew, Nishthir, he has not
married so far. He has not been
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attracted to any girl. Do you think I
will say that he is gay? No.
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Because he has not found a girl to his
level.
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We're a really close family, but we keep
a lot of secrets from each other.
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I snuck out tonight and came to this
local gay club.
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I've been having a lot of depressing
thoughts, and this whole question of
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out was starting to make my being gay
itself a depressing affair.
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So I needed to get away, and here I am,
and it feels wonderful.
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Well, it's not really true.
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Usually, this pounding bass makes me
happy, but tonight it's reminding me of
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last time I went to a club.
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which was the night I met Troy.
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I was just standing around at the bar
when Troy came up and started talking to
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me.
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One thing led to another, and I ended up
taking him home.
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We talked a while, then started messing
around when he stopped me and told me he
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was HIV positive.
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00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:07,770
I never even met an HIV positive person
before, but I thought I could still
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sleep with him as long as we were safe.
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So I started fucking him with a condom
on.
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But at some point, I took off the condom
and fucked him without it.
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I don't know why I did that.
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I wasn't even drunk.
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I mean, this is not a statistical
question. This man had the virus.
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But somehow, I thought it was okay to
have unprotected sex with him.
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In 12 hours, my mother is going to be on
a plane to India.
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I will not see her for at least a year,
maybe more.
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I've been having all these abstract
thoughts about death, but this fact of
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leaving suddenly dawned on me.
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I have to tell her about being gay,
because if I turn out to be HIV
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will have to tell her everything, all at
once, over the telephone.
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And that would be too much for her to
take.
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Plus, this family pattern of keeping
secrets from each other has become very
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unhealthy business.
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I want to
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change
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then for the evening. These people are
coming over for dinner then I won't have
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to change again. No, no, no. They are
coming at 7 o 'clock.
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Isn't this view so beautiful, Nisha?
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Beautiful.
10590
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