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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,919
PHONE: So, we remind ourselves to
be in the here and now.
2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,240
Not in the past.
3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,480
We're going to end by taking a few
relaxing breaths.
4
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:14,880
In.
5
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,039
And out.
6
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,799
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
7
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,159
In.
8
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:22,839
HE INHALES
9
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,639
And out.
HE EXHALES
10
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,959
In.
11
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,279
HE INHALES
12
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,599
And out.
13
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,999
HE EXHALES DEEPLY
14
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,640
And relax.
15
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,079
Well done.
16
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:36,440
HUSHED: Thank you.
17
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,399
Oh, good, you're awake.
18
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,560
That television's still not working.
19
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,600
HE EXHALES EXASPERATEDLY
20
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,599
You'll need to phone that
engineer again!
21
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,599
Number's on the dining room table!
22
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,239
I think you must be the only man
still alive to use one of these.
23
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,879
Eh?
24
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,639
I'm not calling the engineers again.
25
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,319
They've been out twice already, Dad.
26
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:01,839
Remember, they told us we're just in
27
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,079
a black zone for satellites.
28
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,119
What, you're telling me that Forres
is more of a black zone than space?
29
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,799
Well, in Forres no-one can hear
ME scream.
30
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:08,999
Eh?
31
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,679
Or say anything.
32
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,719
What if I plugged the television
into the computer?
33
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,879
Oh, what if I connected the toaster
to the boiler?
34
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,759
Or the kettle to the
washing machine?
35
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,519
You making a point here?
Yes, I am.
36
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,359
That it wouldn't work?
That's the one.
37
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,519
So, there's absolutely nothing I can
do to get the television working?
38
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,039
I'll look into getting cable again.
39
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,079
I do not want the cable!
40
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,359
And I will tell you for why.
41
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,239
Barbara Cookson at number 4,
42
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,439
she got the cable, it went off on...
43
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,440
BLENDER WHIRS LOUDLY
44
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:46,280
WHIRRING DROWNS SPEECH
45
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,439
WHIRRING STOPS
46
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,839
...she fell down a manhole!
47
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,439
OK, we won't get cable, then.
48
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,959
Listen, we'd better get a move on.
49
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,719
We've got to get the train to
Aviemore. That race starts at 2:00.
50
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,639
How many times, Dad? I'm not coming!
51
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,839
Why not?
52
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,799
Well, A, I don't really want to
watch Emily cheer on
53
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,319
her boyfriend doing a run.
54
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,519
And, B, you, me and trains,
it just always ends in disaster.
55
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,639
Like when?
56
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,719
Like when I was filming in Paris,
and I paid for you and Mum
57
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,399
to come over on the Eurostar for
your 70th?
58
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,079
Your mother and I were in Brussels
for my 70th.
59
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,039
Yeah, exactly, cos you got the
wrong Eurostar.
60
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,159
And do you remember when you got
there, and I asked you to stay put,
61
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,119
cos I'd come there to Brussels
to meet you?
62
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,919
Eh, where were you when I got there?
63
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,559
Aye, it could have been Paris.
64
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,999
Cos you got the Eurostar
back to Paris.
65
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,759
Yeah, I'm glad I did my meditation.
66
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,719
I'm really feeling the benefit
of that.
67
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,039
Listen, Emily is going to be there,
68
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,599
and you said you wanted to let her
know how you feel.
69
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,479
Oh, Dad, that was
the Glayva talking.
70
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,479
I've missed the boat with Emily.
71
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,799
I just have to accept that and
move on with my life.
72
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,999
Well, I can't go without you.
73
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,359
Why?
74
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,919
You know full well why.
75
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,439
Oh, come on! We've been through
this a thousand times.
76
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,319
Right, the train ticket is on
your phone.
77
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,279
All you have to do is put the phone
train ticket side down
78
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,759
and scan it on the QR code.
79
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,039
What is a QR code?
80
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,039
No, I'm not going through
that again.
81
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,679
Listen, when I worked on the trains,
82
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,759
a train ticket was something
you held in your hand.
83
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,199
Bit like that?
84
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,359
THAT is not a train ticket!
85
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,159
Why does everything have to happen
through a bloomin' phone nowadays?!
86
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,319
I mean, what was wrong with
the old ways?
87
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,959
You won't even let me carry money
in my pocket any more.
88
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,999
Dad, you were carrying �34.60
in loose change.
89
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,759
Your trousers almost fell down
in Asda.
90
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,959
That is because I forgot to put
a belt on.
91
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,199
Come on, it's just the way things
are now, everything's digital.
92
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,440
Yes. Well, I'm not!
93
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,879
Agreed.
94
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,120
DOORBELL RINGS
95
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,479
Arms...
96
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,799
I mean, erm...
97
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,359
Hi, Emily.
98
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:47,519
And Tim and Beth, and everyone,
not just Emily.
99
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,719
OK.
100
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,440
I called your dad about him
sorting me out with some glue.
101
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,640
Erm...
102
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,839
Richard, have you seen my
prick stick?
103
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,279
Eh, PRITT Stick.
104
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:02,719
And, no, I haven't.
105
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,999
Jean used to use it for the
Christmas cards, you know,
106
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,559
to stick them down.
107
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,959
She read somewhere that licking the
envelopes gives you the squirts.
108
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,800
Oh, lovely.
109
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,639
I like your T-shirt.
110
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,799
Mm.
111
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,079
Succus.
112
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,879
Yeah, it's Latin for "juice".
113
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,159
Yeah.
114
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,839
It's a small energy drinks company
I started a few years back.
115
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,159
They're publicly endorsing me
for this run.
116
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,559
Is it definitely pronounced
like that?
117
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,959
Succus.
118
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,799
Yeah, pretty sure.
119
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,679
So, you're endorsing yourself with
your own company...
120
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,199
...called Succus?
121
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,399
Yeah.
122
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,639
Great.
123
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,079
TOILET FLUSHES
Just thought I'd check.
124
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,679
Hey, how'd you get on?
125
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,839
Uh...
126
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,039
Yes, good.
127
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,239
I don't need to pee now, so mission
accomplished in that sense.
128
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:49,759
KEN: Where is the bloody thing?
129
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,479
Sorry again we can't fit you in
the car, Ken.
130
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,879
It's just that there's not
a lot of room,
131
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,239
what with Tim's energy drinks.
132
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,519
Succus.
133
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,959
Yep.
134
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,519
Oh, that's all right.
135
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,839
I'm more than happy to get the
train, it's absolutely no bother.
136
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,319
Well, it's SOME bother.
137
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,199
Are you having problems with
your television?
138
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,679
Oh, don't remind me.
139
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,559
I'm actually thinking about getting
one of those dodgy sticks.
140
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,799
Dad, how many times?
They're illegal.
141
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,119
No, they're not.
What do you think dodgy means?
142
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,879
They are a bit illegal, Mr Pritch.
143
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,319
Gwen Joyce has one.
144
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,239
Well, that'll be the same Gwen Joyce
who had a weed farm
145
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,519
growing in her attic.
146
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,799
She was as surprised as anybody else
to find that up there.
147
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,199
Yeah.
148
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,839
If only she'd seen the security
footage of her buying 800 LED lamps.
149
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,320
RICHARD LAUGHS
150
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:34,879
Yeah.
151
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,399
Or..or wondering why she always had
the munchies.
152
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,800
Yeah, up high.
153
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,519
Uh... yeah. Sorry.
154
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,679
Exactly.
155
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,119
He-he! Here it is.
156
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,959
Oh, that's great!
157
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,079
It's for my "Go Tim" sign.
158
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,119
I always make one, hold it up for
him running past, don't I?
159
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,639
You sure do.
160
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,399
Only now, I have to stick pictures
of him onto it...
161
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,879
...since the incident.
162
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,519
The incident?
163
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,079
Well, there was this race a few
years back
164
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,559
where another Tim was running.
165
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,919
He ran past the sign, and apparently
I looked quite a bit like his mum.
166
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,439
What it was, Richard,
he hadn't seen her in 20 years -
167
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,479
they'd had a big falling out -
168
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,079
and he thought she'd come back to
bury the hatchet.
169
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,919
He was quite down when he realised,
but...
170
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,839
...it did make him decide to
reach out to her.
171
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,279
Aw.
172
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,599
EMILY: Aw, that's nice.
173
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,640
Yes.
174
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,880
Turns out she died five years
previous, and he had no idea.
175
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,360
So, now... I stick pictures on.
176
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,039
What are you doing? You're going
to miss your train.
177
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,919
No, no. I'm not going. What?!
178
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,439
I told you, I don't know how to do
the tickets.
179
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,239
Once again, technology has destroyed
my time on the trains.
180
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,079
You mean when you took early
retirement
181
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,159
instead of learning how to use the
card machine? I'll be fine here.
182
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,999
Ugh! Just get a physical
ticket at the station!
183
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,359
I don't want to any more.
184
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,239
But, Dad, all you've been
talking about all week
185
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,679
is how you were looking forward to
spending time with Beth.
186
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,039
THAT'S the reason you're going.
WAS going.
187
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,679
I know what you're doing here.
188
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,599
I don't know what
you're talking about.
189
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,999
You know fine well what
I'm talking about!
190
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,679
You're thinking, "I'll just sit here
looking sad
191
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,359
"until he gives in
and comes with me."
192
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,320
Well, that is just not
going to hap...
193
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,800
Ha! That's that locked. You think?
194
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,439
Why have you got a bag? It's only
a 45-minute journey.
195
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,319
Well, that's exactly enough time to
watch an episode of something.
196
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,879
Is your generation incapable of
sitting
197
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,399
with their own thoughts for any
length of time?
198
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,199
I mean, honestly, why have you
always
199
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,759
got to be attached to a device?!
200
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,199
Well, I'm not attached to a device
just now, am I?
201
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,200
MOBILE BUZZES
Oh. Hold on a minute.
202
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,079
Sally, hi. Oh, Richard, hello.
203
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,439
Bad news on the panto, I'm afraid.
It's a no.
204
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,239
Really? I thought it went well.
205
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,559
Yes, they thought you were just
a little bit too upbeat.
206
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,119
Too upbeat for panto?! Yes,
they were looking
207
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,999
for a little more nuance
in your portrayal.
208
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,439
The character was called
Hoinky-Doinky!
209
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:26,759
Yes. They said there was,
210
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,599
"A little too much hoink
and not enough doink," for them.
211
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,679
Also, they didn't like you breaking
the fourth wall. It's a panto!
212
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,639
It's all to do with the director's
vision, or something.
213
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,079
I wasn't really paying attention,
to be honest.
214
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:43,000
Anyway, it's not the end of the
world. No. Oh, yes, it is!
215
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,959
Too soon. Sorry. Bye, Sally!
216
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,240
OK. I'm still waiting to hear back
on the Crimewatch reconstruction.
217
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,559
OVER TANNOY: The train now
approaching Platform 2
218
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,799
is the ScotRail service
to Edinburgh Waverley.
219
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:04,159
Right. So are you going to do this
ticket thing for me or not?
220
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,959
No, I'm not,
221
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,239
because you have to learn how to do
this stuff yourself, Dad.
222
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,760
HE EXHALES NERVOUSLY
Come on! Don't look so worried.
223
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,519
There's a nice girl there.
Can I not show her my ticket?
224
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,279
No. Why not? Because this is
quicker.
225
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,159
Ah! Doesn't seem quicker to me.
226
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,279
Dad, you can't stand in the way
of progress all your life.
227
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,679
Excuse me, darling.
Oh, apparently you can.
228
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,119
Would you mind just opening
a barrier for me
229
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,479
and I'll just show you my ticket?
230
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,879
It's just I'm useless
with this thing.
231
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,999
I'd much rather leave the house
without it.
232
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,519
You do leave the house without it.
Yeah, no problem.
233
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,039
No, we're fine, thanks. What?
We don't need your help.
234
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,479
So, you don't want me to open the
barriers for him? That's right.
235
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,919
I really don't mind letting him
through. A lot of older people...
236
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,800
We're fine. Thanks.
237
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,199
There's no need to be rude. I wasn't
being rude. I thought you were rude.
238
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,959
Did you think he was rude? I thought
he was a little bit rude, yeah.
239
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,959
Why are you still here?
240
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,400
Oh... OK, that was rude, sorry.
241
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,559
Come on, Dad, you can do this.
Just the way I showed you.
242
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,559
Right. Unlock your phone.
2-1-5-7.
243
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:10,919
It's probably best not to do that
out loud, but one battle at a time.
244
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,880
Find your ticket.
"Find your ticket."
245
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,439
Here. No, that's your home screen.
Is it?
246
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,679
What about that? And
that's the calculator.
247
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:23,479
There's a calculator in there? Oh,
just give me the phone, would you?
248
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,559
Right. OK. Scanner's there.
249
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:31,040
QR code on the scanner, barriers
open, you walk through. OK?
250
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,080
HE JABBERS
Just, just...
251
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,320
Want me to just let you through?
Yes, please.
252
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,519
No!
253
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,359
Want me to keep them open for you?
No.
254
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,959
No, I don't, because some people
are able to do things
255
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,399
in the correct and proper way.
256
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,200
So you want me to close them?
Yes, please!
257
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,320
That's all you needed to do.
Do you see how simple that was?
258
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:19,319
Do I just scan it again? No.
It won't let you scan it twice.
259
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,680
Oh. Do you want me to open the
barriers for you?
260
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,040
Yes, please.
261
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,279
There you are. Very good, very good!
Don't, don't...
262
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:37,319
That's how you do it!
Just give me that phone, would you?!
263
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,519
I'm downloading your
return ticket now,
264
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:43,039
and you're scanning that QR code
on the way back if it kills me.
265
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,119
Yes, yes, whatever you say.
Where exactly are we going here?
266
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,639
Coach C.
267
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,159
HE GROANS
Oh, what is it now?
268
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,679
Well... I'm actually bursting for
the toilet.
269
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,399
Oh, there's a toilet on the train.
270
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,399
"The train toilet must not be used
whilst the train is stationary."
271
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,719
That's the first thing you learn
when you become a conductor.
272
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,559
Well, you'll just need to hold on
to it then.
273
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,519
Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?
Which bit of that would I love?
274
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,439
And could you not have
mentioned this
275
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,559
before we got through the barrier?
276
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,399
Well, I didn't need to go before
I'd come through the barrier.
277
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,079
Right, can you be done and back
in... six minutes? Yes.
278
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,759
Oh! Maybe your new pal
could let you out.
279
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,399
Right, we're in coach C, seat 41.
280
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,400
Coach C, seat 41, yes, yes!
281
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,719
OVER TANNOY: Ticket barriers are
in operation at this station.
282
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:33,960
WHISTLE
283
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,359
Erm... excuse me, sorry, I've
actually got that... seat booked.
284
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,000
HE TUTS
285
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,120
Thank you.
286
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,200
LAPTOP CHIMES
287
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,120
Oh, my... For... What's he doing?!
288
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,600
MOBILE RINGS
289
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,719
No. Oh!
290
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,719
Oh! Sorry, can I...
291
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,399
Sorry, I need to... Yeah.
292
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,920
Just...
293
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,400
Excuse me, excuse me! Excuse me.
294
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,199
Oh, yeah. You're watching
something already?
295
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:50,239
Good heavens. The train's
not even moving.
296
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,959
There you go, ham and cheese...
bottle of water.
297
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,679
Don't worry, it's sparkling.
298
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:03,879
Lovely packet of cheese and onion
crisps, and... a Twirl.
299
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,880
We're sharing that, mind -
one finger each!
300
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,799
OVER TANNOY: Welcome aboard this
ScotRail service to Wick.
301
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,439
Wick?! This train will call at
Beauly... Are we on the right train?
302
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,079
...Dingwall, Alness, Invergordon...
303
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,640
Who the hell are you?
304
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,999
OVER TANNOY: Customers are reminded
that Off-Peak tickets
305
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,399
are not valid on this service.
306
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,520
Oh, where the hell is he?!
307
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,039
Is he winding me up?!
308
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,839
Dad!
WHISTLE
309
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,600
Dad!
DOORS BEEPING
310
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,559
Dad!
311
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,280
My laptop. My laptop!
312
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,240
Oh, dear.
313
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,399
Hi, er, excuse me. Hi, sir.
I'm sitting in there.
314
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,640
Thank you very much. Lovely.
Thank you.
315
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,839
Oh, that was close! Ha-ha!
316
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,040
Disaster averted, eh?
317
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,600
TRAIN TOOTS
318
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,680
Where now? This way.
319
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,439
Hello, there. Excuse me,
I was just, I was, eh...
320
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,119
...just wondering.
321
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,199
There's a lot of runners
going about the place, you know,
322
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,559
giving it...
323
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,919
Eh, I don't suppose you've seen
any men in Lycra about the place,
324
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,639
running about?
325
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,439
No. No.
326
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,640
Tights.
327
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,560
CHEERING
328
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,119
Nice, isn't it?
329
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,440
Oh, yeah, it's different.
330
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,439
Oh, look, there he is now!
331
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,359
Go, Tim!
332
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,959
Tim!
333
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,399
Come on, my son!
334
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,999
Oh, I did it.
335
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,759
Hey!
336
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,439
Hey! Oh!
337
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,679
Great run!
338
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,519
Oh, Richard.
Hi. Oh, you made it then.
339
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,919
Where's Ken?
He's not here?
340
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,959
I know.
I meant, he's not shown up here?
341
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,559
Well, have you lost him?
342
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,119
I didn't lose him, he lost himself.
343
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,879
You mean he's missing?
344
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,599
It's OK, Mum, we'll have a Succus
and then we'll talk this through.
345
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,479
Er, yeah, yeah,
we got split up on the train.
346
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,039
I ended up in Beauly. I've got his
phone. Look, it's a long story.
347
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,559
Right. Well, surely he'll just
make his way back to Forres.
348
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,599
Er, he wouldn't be
able to buy a ticket. Why?
349
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,839
Some guy made him
stop carrying cash.
350
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,199
Richard!
It's OK.
351
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,879
I know the event organisers.
352
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,159
They'll keep an eye out for him.
353
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,439
They've got people stationed
all around the circuit.
354
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,359
Hey. Hi, yeah, it's me.
355
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:53,479
I just...
356
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,240
No... 39 minutes, 26 seconds.
357
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,760
Yeah, I know, I think it is
a new personal best.
358
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,039
Sorry, yeah, listen, I need you
to just do something for me.
359
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,959
Er, Beth, why don't you
and Tim take the town -
360
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,879
you know, streets, tea shops,
that sort of thing.
361
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,839
Cakes, scones, what have you.
362
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,279
Uh-huh, yeah.
Me and Richard will take the woods.
363
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,439
Look, chances are he's probably got
lost trying to find the finish line.
364
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,959
Yeah. No, I'm sure you're right.
365
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,799
Yeah, well, pasta for breakfast
is controversial these days,
366
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,159
but, to be honest with you,
I think it gave me the edge.
367
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,879
Tim?
368
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,159
Grey hair, yeah, glasses.
369
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,480
Yeah, just shoes,
he was wearing shoes.
370
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,240
Jean?
371
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:44,999
No, no, no.
372
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,919
It couldn't be.
373
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,160
Sorry to bother you.
374
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,720
It's just I thought...
375
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,000
But it couldnae be.
376
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,000
HE YAWNS
377
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,319
Mr Pritch!
378
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,879
Dad!
379
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,399
Mr Pritch!
380
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,840
Dad!
381
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,919
Mr Pritch!
382
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,079
Dad!
383
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,879
CRUNCHING
Oh, ow!
384
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,239
My ankle!
Oh, God.
385
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,879
Right, hold on. Don't touch it.
386
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,999
Argh!
What did I just say?
387
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,679
Sorry.
388
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,839
Oh.
Let's get this off.
389
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,599
Ah! Ah!
390
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,879
Ah. Oh.
391
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,639
All the others were in the wash.
392
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,640
Well, that is just lovely.
393
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,239
OK, does it hurt if I do this?
394
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,679
Ah!
395
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,439
What about this?
Aah!
396
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,319
Oh, that's interesting.
Is it broken?
397
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,759
No, but I realised I can do this.
398
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,639
HE YELPS IN DESCENDING NOTES
399
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,919
? Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. ?
400
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,440
You're supposed to be a nurse!
401
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,959
Trust me, that is vanilla compared
to what we usually get up to.
402
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,799
Oh.
It's fine. You've just twisted it.
403
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,639
But... what do I do now?
Have you made a will?
404
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,559
Oh, hilarious.
405
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,840
Nothing. Just give it a few minutes.
406
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,920
Be funny if we ended up
having to eat each other.
407
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,559
I always forget that sometimes...
408
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,880
...silence is fine.
409
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,480
Yep.
410
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,479
Ah!
411
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,120
The bumblebee man.
412
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:00,879
Oh.
413
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,959
Ah! No, I need to stop.
414
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,079
Ah!
Again?
415
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,159
It really hurts, Emily.
416
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,760
If zombies ever attack, remind me
never to make a run for it with you.
417
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,880
Oh.
Budge up!
418
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,000
SHE SIGHS
419
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,999
I'm sure Tim's got
an ankle support with him.
420
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,360
I don't need Tim's ankle support.
421
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,759
Tim's Ankle Support.
422
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,639
It's quite a good name
for a band, actually.
423
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,999
"Hi, we're Tim's Ankle Support,
and this is a song about the first
424
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,599
"time that you properly
fall in love."
425
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,079
Are you in love with him?
What?
426
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,799
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Nothing, nothing.
427
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,160
No. Me too.
428
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,279
Do you not like Tim?
Erm...
429
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,639
What, me not like... Who, Tim?
430
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,479
I mean, I... I don't...
431
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,759
What does it even mean to like
someone in the current climate?
432
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,599
OK, you don't like him.
I'm not a fan, but... I...
433
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,920
I don't know, he just
doesn't seem like your type.
434
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,839
What is my type?
435
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,839
Guys from Forres, mainly.
436
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,960
Yeah. Imagine wanting
a change from that.
437
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,320
I know he seems a bit much
sometimes, but...
438
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,479
...but he's sweet.
439
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,879
He's comfortable in himself.
440
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,719
He's a go-getter.
441
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,519
Things seem possible
around him, you know.
442
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,679
He's actually thinking of moving
to New Zealand for a year.
443
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,319
Is he? Really?
444
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,519
Oh, yeah, well,
I've heard it's beautiful.
445
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,719
Mm.
446
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,359
He's asked me to go with him.
447
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,439
But the weather's
meant to be terrible,
448
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,319
and I've heard it's
prohibitively expensive.
449
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,879
This wellness retreat reached out
to him on Instagram.
450
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,519
They want him to do a
mind, body and soul workshop,
451
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,199
whatever that is.
452
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,119
And I could get
a nursing job easily enough.
453
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,480
Oh, you've looked into it?
454
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,439
Well, a little bit.
I mean, it's New Zealand.
455
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,920
Sure. And you've probably
completed Forres anyway by now.
456
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,440
I haven't made my mind up yet.
457
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,840
Cool.
458
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,999
Sorry for bringing up
zombies earlier.
459
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,239
I know how scared you are of them.
460
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,679
What?
461
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,679
Well, any horror film, really.
462
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,199
Every time you'd rent one, you'd
watch it with your eyes closed.
463
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,359
Yeah, but that's because
it's the score that makes it scary,
464
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,079
so it's actually braver
just to listen. Mm.
465
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,159
And you'd always fall
for the jump scares.
466
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,279
Well, they shouldn't just come
out of nowhere like that!
467
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,959
Oh, so you are scared of them?
No.
468
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,559
No? No! All right.
469
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,599
Sorry for bringing it up.
470
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,680
Thank you.
471
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,599
Maybe we should look
down by those...
472
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,479
...TREES!
HE YELPS
473
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,920
SHE LAUGHS
So immature.
474
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,160
Oh, bollocks.
475
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,759
So, there you are!
476
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,999
Ah, his ankle.
Ankle.
477
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,679
Where the hell have you been?!
478
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,559
Where the hell have I been?!
479
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,999
Coach C, seat 41.
480
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,359
Where the hell were you?
481
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,159
I'm sorry, who is this?
482
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,319
Oh. I ended up joining a
search party for this fella,
483
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,799
and I found him.
484
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,399
Matches his description perfectly.
485
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,399
You joined your own search party?
Course you did.
486
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,919
Eh?
Ken!
487
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,519
Oh!
Oh!
488
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,159
Oh, you silly man!
489
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,439
You had me so worried.
490
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,519
Don't do that again.
491
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,719
Hey, you should replenish your
fluids. Take a sip of my Succus.
492
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:39,959
Eh?
493
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,039
Have you guys been here long?
494
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,439
No, we just got here.
So you didn't see anything?
495
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,959
What?
Nothing.
496
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,399
Can you take me
back to my family now?
497
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,439
Yes, I'll take you back
to your family now.
498
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,519
You've been banging on about that
for some time now.
499
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,320
They're making a terrible fuss...
500
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,359
What a day.
501
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,639
Where did your laptop end up?
502
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,600
Glasgow.
Oh.
503
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,879
I had my whole life on that laptop.
504
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,279
Oh, look at that.
505
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,279
I was going to watch
The Untouchables tonight.
506
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,359
AS SEAN CONNERY: He puts
one of yours in the morgue,
507
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,519
you put one of his in the hospital.
508
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,759
It's the other way about.
What?
509
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,839
AS SEAN CONNERY: He puts
one of yours in the hospital,
510
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,239
you put one of his is in the morgue.
That's the Chicago way.
511
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:36,519
Who are you doing?
512
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,119
Honestly, I give up.
513
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,799
Right, Dad, I'm knackered.
514
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,439
I'm going to bed.
515
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,759
Night-night.
516
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,119
OK.
517
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:45,160
Goodnight, son.
518
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:47,960
Yah!
519
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,439
You can stream it.
I what?
520
00:25:58,440 --> 00:25:59,799
Watch it online.
521
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,439
Don't need the satellite for that.
522
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,279
JINGLE
523
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,399
There you go.
Marvellous!
524
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,079
It'll start in a minute.
525
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,359
Ho-ho!
526
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,960
Oh, thanks, son!
527
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,520
Hee-hee!
528
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,960
Oh, for fu...
529
00:26:21,010 --> 00:26:25,560
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