Original subtitles

Okay.

Mm, this looks good.

There you go, kitty.

Mm.

It's good, huh?

Yeah.

Hey hey.

Hey, where are you going?

Okay, let's go inside.

Oh, I know.

Go to sleep, little kitty

go to sleep, little kitty

don't open your eyes

till the sun's in the sky.

- We're closing now, Roger. - Can I have one for the road, though?

- I don't think so. - Just-- just one more.

- Just for the road. - No.

For the road. Just one for the road.

There's the fuckin' road!

Now go.

Oh god.

Jesus Christ.

Man: Welcome to the world of relaxation.

By following my exercises

you will enhance your ability to relax.

Now I want you

to touch your index finger with your thumb.

This gesture is to symbolize

the link between the body and the mind.

Now close your eyes.

I want you to take a deep breath.

And now slowly exhale.

You are entirely at peace with your environment.

You feel calm.

You feel tranquil.

I want you to visualize the scene I describe.

I want you to mentally recreate every detail.

You are lying on an endless white beach.

The sun is rising.

Feel the palm trees swaying--

Ooh ooh!

Woman: There you go.

Just drink your milk in one go.

That should take away the hiccups.

- Am I dead? - No, you're lucky.

Oh.

Okay.okay.

Oh, Jacques, not again. Why can't you just die?

Good to see you too, Olivia.

Where are you taking me? This is not my ward.

I have told you 100 times--

this is a hospital, not a zoo.

We have to maintain strict hygienic standards.

I can't understand a fuckin' word you're saying.

Call the fucking oriental embassy

and make them send over an interpreter immediately.

You have to get rid of the dog.

It's not allowed to stay here at the hospital.

He's got a name, you know. His name's rococo.

I don't care what's his name.

He's got to leave.

Go back to the third world, you chinky coriander bitch!

I hope you drop dead.

Do me a favor--

unplug the smoke detector.

What?

Unplug the smoke detector.

Now there are two boxes on the left on the wall.

The little one above. Two doors-- open them.

Now unplug the green wire.

Yes, that's it.

So what the fuck happened to you?

Suicide... attempt. Not successful.

Jesus.

Every single day I'm fighting

a bloody battle for my life.

At the same time, some moron in the prime of his youth

is ready to throw his life straight down the drain.

- What happened to you? - Heart attack number five.

So, Lucas,

I hope the hospital's been treating you well.

I've been looking forward to seeing you today.

Although I must admit we may have to talk about

some things that you may find unpleasant.

I know it's not easy, but I have to ask it.

Why did you try suicide?

Well, you know, when it comes

to survival of the fittest,

I just have to throw in the towel, I guess.

But you're not an animal, Lucas.

You're a human being.

You live in a highly-developed society

that has all kinds of buffers and security nets

that are designed to break your fall.

No.i don't follow the rules of civilization anymore.

I am outside. I am an animal.

Try to think of life as a coconut:

It's hard on the outside,

and if you don't have the proper tools or the know-how,

it can seem totally useless and futile.

But if you know how to open it, there's sweet juice inside.

But the key is not to keep the coconut to yourself.

Once you learn how to open the coconut,

you share the coconut with someone who has no coconut.

And then you understand what happiness is.

- Share the coconut? - Yes.

I am very thankful and I want to thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

You have saved my life and given me

food to eat and clothes to wear.

I wish I could pay you back in some way,

but I have nothing to give...

- That's all right. - ...Except for my sperm.

I would like to donate my sperm.

No no.

I know it's not much, but it's the least I can do.

It's awfully kind of you, but you know we're not

doing you a personal favor that you have to repay.

This is a hospital. We're just doing our job.

What's most important is that you survived.

Please, there must be something that I can do.

Well, if you insist on doing something for us,

I could sign you up as an organ donor.

There's always a big need for organs.

My whole body.

I am ready to donate my body and my soul to science.

What would you like to start with? A kidney?

You just take whatever you need.

It's the least I can do. Thank you.

- Thank you, thank you. - Good luck.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

- Thank you for everything. - You're welcome.

And here's a little farewell gift from the staff

to help make your new start a good one.

Oh.

- What is it? - Where's Lucas?

You're only supposed to use this bell in case of emergency.

Where's Lucas?

Well, I suppose Lucas is free to go where he wants

without your permission.

Son of a mother fuckin' lesbian bitch.

Luc?

- What up, man? - Hey.

I haven't seen you in a month of sundays.

Boy, you look good as a government check. How you been?

Uh, I've... I've actually been a little ill recently.

- You've been under the weather, huh? - Yeah.

But you're back on all fours now, ain't you, cat?

Yeah, doing much better. Thank you, poet.

- I know you're a stepper. - How are you doing?

Tough titty for a kitty, but the milk is good hot.

- But it's fair out here, man. - Yeah, I know.

A little grind, trying to keep a few dollars

of the lunch money in the pocket.

- I know. Me too, poet. - It just ain't easy, babe.

Oh, hey, I actually fell into a few extra dollars recently.

- Hey, ain't that a blessing? - Maybe I could lend you a few.

Hey, you know, whatever you can stand, kid.

- I appreciate this, man. - There you go.

So everything's all right, huh?

Excuse me, I was wondering

by any chance can you, like, give a dollar or two?

- Yeah, of course. - Thank you very much.

Of course I can. Here.

Most appreciative. Thank you very much.

Oh, may I have some, please?

- Yes. - I'm his friend.

- No no, I know. - He's my friend.

- Of course, of course. - Thank you.

- There you go.Okay. - How about me?

- That's for you. - Thanks.

And that's for you.

Enough for everybody.

What is going on in here?

These files are strictly confidential.

Now get out.

Lucas?

Lucas, you little punk.

- You're coming with me. - What?

You're coming with me.

I appreciate it, Jacques,

but i-- I would just like to be left alone.

Come with me, Lucas. I need your help.

From the looks of things,

you could do with some help yourself.

Oh shit.

Okay.

Bombs away.

Ah.

Lucas: House of oysters?

Why is it called house of oysters?

Well, when I bought the place,

back in the days, it was an old oyster bar

run by the late Mr. Saviola.

But after a customer consumed a lethal oyster,

Mr. Saviola was forced to close down the business.

But I kept the name because it's the name of the bar,

and a bar should not change its name,

no matter what goes wrong in the world.

Come hell or high water, when the smog dissolves,

you gotta trust that your bar is still gonna be there.

We're ready. Send it over.

- Nice to meet you. - Likewise.

Chin Lee is my excellent cook.

- Moneyed sale. - Thank you, chin Lee.

Jacques: My heart's no good.

I could pass away any day now.

I don't have a family, no friends,

and I'm not even interested in anything like that.

What I am interested in

is that this bar goes on after I'm gone.

And that's where you come into the picture, Lucas.

When I'm gone, I want you-- what are you doing?

Don't like it.

Don't be ridiculous.

You used to eat out of garbage cans.

But when presented with the heights of gastronomy, you refuse it?

Sorry.

You have many things to learn, my friend.

And I'm not gonna give up

until I've taught you everything.

From now on, you're my student.

This is where I live.

And this is where you're gonna live.

- Oh, thank you. - How do you like it?

Here's some pajamas.

Tomorrow's gonna be a busy day.

Open up!

What's wrong with you morons?

Why is the bar closed, Jacques?

- I'm training a new employee. - How long is that gonna take?

- I don't know. - Come on.

Give us an idea. A day, a year, or what?

For god's sake, stop whining and go back to your mothers.

- But I wanna get a drink. - My mother's dead. You know that.

Come on, Jacques.

Jacques!

Well, long see no time.

Ah.

How you doing? How's the old heart?

Terrible as usual, Dimitri.

- I haven't fucked since last century. - Oh, no.

The closest I've come to sexual activity

is brushing my teeth.

Oh, that's terrible, Jacques.

But you still manage to get a boner?

- Hardly. - Oh, I'm so sorry, Jacques.

Is there anything I can do for you, my friend?

Where is your beautiful wife?

- Sarah! - Yes?

Jacques wants to say hello to you.

Okay, coming.

Oh, Sarah! Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!

Hi, Jacques.

Oh my god, you smell so good.

- Thank you, Jacques. - Oh god, you smell good.Mm!

- Okay, Jacques. - It's been too long, Sarah.

- Jacques. - Okay, it's enough.

- How long has it been? - Jacques!

- What? - Take it easy.

- Good to see you, Jacques. - Wonderful to see you, Sarah.

- Come back soon. - Very very soon.

- Where were we? - I don't know, Jacques.

- Why'd you come? What can I do for you? - Oh yeah.

You see this young gentleman?

I pulled him out of the gutter.

We need to get him penguinized.

Jeez, we've got work to do.

Well, bring it on, you fucking communist. We haven't got all day.

- Take it easy, Jacques. - What?

I mean, you burst into my store, you harass my wife,

and now you start criticizing my past as well?

I'm not criticizing you, Dimitri.

It was a joke. Jeez.

I didn't know you were so sensitive about your communistic past.

Can I call you a capitalistic swine?

Would that work for you, Dimitri? Jeez.

What's the matter with you?

You got hemorrhoids or something?

These are the most beautiful clothes

I have ever seen in my life, Jacques,

- but they are so stiff. - Jesus.

Jacques: No arty-farty fashion bullshit.

Just a decent haircut. Craftsmanship, honesty-- that's all I'm asking.

Like the old days. Do you hear me?

You are in the right place, Jacques.

I don't trust you.

Oh, here.

We have some examples of what is going on right now

in case you need some inspiration.

Hey hey hey hey.

I said no fashion crap.

Has it occurred to you that this young gentleman

might have an opinion of his own?

No.it is I who'll pay for the operation

and it is I who'll conduct it.

So please stop getting on my nerves

and just do your job.

My job?

- How dare you? - Faggot.

Oh-- oh dear, have i-- have I nicked you?

Oh no, blood.

I'm gonna sue your flaming wrinkled homosexual ass off,

you fucking moron.

That's more like it.

Jesus, Jacques, I feel strange about this.

What's the matter?

- Don't you trust me? - I don't know.

It's-- it's like people take an education to learn this.

- You know, five years or something. - Where you been?

It's not like we're talking rocket science, you know.

It's a knife-- the oldest tool known to man.

Okay.

- Just be careful. - Trust me.

Oh no...

Blood.

Okay okay, listen up, gentlemen.

I'd like to introduce Lucas.

- How you doing, Lucas? - Hi, Lucas.

Man: You act like a woman, though.

Because this is female behavior.

Women, when they hear that men live with their mommies, it's not so sexy.

I've never seen anyone more passive than you.

Man: Well, the times that it's worked for me is when--

I can't remember.

But, like, if I'm going out or if I'm going to a movie,

like I gotta go to a movie uptown, I'll take the train.

Oh my god, we've got a walk-in. We've got a walk-in.

- What do you want? - I'll have a bloody Mary, please.

And do you have organic tomato juice?

Sorry, we're out of celery.

But then if you are going uptown,

- you are taking what? - Lucas.

We don't do walk-ins.

What?

- Man: Eager. - Eager beaver.

Lucas.

Never remove an empty glass.

It is the customer's history,

the track record of his state of mind--

an important documentation

which should not be fixed nor falsified.

Hey, sorry about that.

Jacques's voice: Overview overview overview.

You have to know what's going on with every single customer.

Who's drinking what? Who needs a refill?

Who wants to be left alone?

Each regular has their own routine

which you have to learn by heart.

A decent bartender knows what the customer wants

before he knows it himself.

At the end of the day,

you take the day's earnings

and you put it right in here.

- Into the freezer? - Into the freezer.

I've been burglarized to the point of exhaustion.

And I ain't lost a single dime--

not since I started freezing my money.

This is Enrique.

He's my best friend.

In fact, my only friend.

He lives in Martinique where he grows

and handpicks my coffee beans.

Wonderful person.

And this is his mother, Josephine.

If I wasn't in such bad shape,

I'd go straight to Martinique and marry her.

Who's the little girl?

Ah.

That is Enrique's beautiful nine-year-old daughter, Felicia.

I want you to marry her.

When she's a little bit older.

Jacques: For over 15 years he's dropped by

every single day for one cup of Espresso.

He never says good morning, never says what he wants.

Nobody even knows his name.

But as soon as he arrives,

he expects you to bring that Espresso.

He'll drink it in three sips

in total silence.

And he always leaves the same tip.

Sooty, this isn't your usual

chimney sweeping uniform, is it?

Nah, 'cause sooty is not a chimney sweeper.

Sooty is a "chimnist."

And I am looking particularly delicious today

because I was officiating at a wedding.

Now did you know that it is lucky for a bride

to be kissed on both cheeks by a chimnist?

Yeah.so what luck does the trashman bring?

I am a sanitation engineer

who one day will be the first garbage man to go out into space.

We got to get rid of some of this trash that's around here.

That's right, you're gonna be a "trashtronaut."

- Exactly. - So what?

You stuff yourself inside the rubbish bin

- and, shhh, shoot up into the stratosphere? - It'll happen.

Yeah, I read about it. It's gonna happen any day now.

There's a lot of rubbish in the flower business, isn't there, roddie?

I hate flowers. I don't wanna talk about flowers.

- Touchy touchy. - Why?

Mommy's-- mommy's upsetting you?

Say hi to mommy for me, will you?

I forget. What are you up to now?

There's, like, a technical term for it.

It's, um... It's whore.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

I am not a fucking whore.

I'm a stimulator.

Time to wake up.

- Jacques, please. - Today's a big day.

Today's the day I'm gonna teach you how to make coffee.

- Make coffee? - Yeah.

I don't mean to brag about my person,

but I think that making coffee is one of the very few skills

that I already mastered.

Your responsibility and duty is to transfer

the full range of flavor and aroma

of Enrique's beans to the cup.

Anything less will be a disgrace

to the customers, my bar, and Enrique.

In order to succeed,

you must master a few technical skills.

The first instrument is the grinder.

Now coffee can be ground in many ways,

but you have to choose the right way--

neither too fine nor too grainy.

When the water is a little over 90°

and almost boiling, it is forced through the coffee

at a pressure of nine atmospheres.

And this should take exactly 24 seconds.

If it takes more than 24 seconds, the coffee is too fine.

If it takes less than 24 seconds, the coffee is too grainy.

You can practice using this stopwatch.

But in time you will come to learn by heart

the duration of the magic 24 seconds.

Why don't you even taste them?

It would be an offense to my taste buds.

You just don't expose them to something like that.

Well, I can't see what's wrong with it.

- It's black, it's hot-- - it's disgusting.

This is butragueño...

...the famous bull.

Buenos dias, butragueño, you crazy catholic fuck.

Lucky bastard--

fucking those beautiful cows all day long.

Why the fuck did you buy a duck?

It's our Christmas dinner, Lucas.

We're going to feed it with oranges and ginger

and fresh estragon and cognac.

We're gonna marinate it from the inside out.

- We can't kill a fellow duck. - Yes, we can, Lucas.

My mouth's watering just thinking about it.

What the fuck's going on here?

Okay, you let me know how this one is.

- Here you are. - Thank you.

What's going on here?

I thought it would be a shame

to let all those espressos go to waste

while I master the technique,

so I thought we could take it

as an opportunity to help people.

- Help people? - Yes, help people.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

We're running a business here, not a goddamn shelter.

Now get these losers out of my sight!

Finish your-- Jacques...

Aren't you sometimes afraid that you'll go straight to hell?

Christopher, you can finish your coffee. It's fine.

Go!

It's not your fault. Thank you.

What are we gonna call you?

Estragon?

Okay.

Estragon.

Bar's closed. Get the fuck out.

We understand that you're the owner of this building.

Correct.

We're buying buildings in this area

and we're interested in looking into buying this one too.

Well, for a billion dollars

I'll give you a scenic tour of my anal canal.

How do you like them apples?

It wouldn't hurt to sit down for a while--

goddamn, you're like a piece of shit that just won't flush.

Now get the fuck out of here before I get rude.

Let's go, guys.

"A walk in the mists of time and space."

- What is that? - It's the title of my book.

I like it. I'm looking forward to reading that.

Yeah, well, I'm stuck though. I'm blocked.

Come on, you got it in your blood.

You're Jules verne's great-great-grandson.

- Yeah, but think of the pressure. - Forget about it.

You could do it. You got it in your blood.

- Just write it. - Okay.

She gave me her number, but as she was writing it out,

she goes, "don't call me for a couple of days."

And I said, "how come?" She said, "well, I'm gonna--"

ah, I can't take this anymore!

We are all animals.

Estragon, you must be liberated.

- Roddie: Take it easy. - Come on, darling.

Out out.

Come on, out, sweetheart.

Estragon, my friend, you must be liberated.

I'm offering you freedom

and you go back into incarceration.

Phil.

- This one, right? - Yeah, mm-hmm.

Listen, Lucas, I didn't bring too much cash with me.

Can I bring it in to you tomorrow?

I have a tip I can leave ya.

- You think it'll be okay? - Yeah, sure.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

How's-- how's your mother doing?

She's dying.

She might be able to come home

from the hospital a couple days a week,

but I don't know if she's gonna make it.

Here's to mooty.

- Mooty. - Here's to mooty.

My boy, you're making one very serious mistake.

- What? - You're being friendly.

- What's wrong with that? - Remember what I say:

Never be friendly with a customer.

Be familiar, but not friendly.

That's the golden rule: Familiar but not friendly.

What's wrong with friendly?

Sometimes, when you least expect it,

friendship will stab you in the back like a dagger.

The customer will start trusting you, you'll start trusting them.

One thing will lead to another

and you don't want that to happen.

Can I get one for the road?

No, sorry, Roger. We're closed.

Wait, just one for the road. Come on.

I think you've had seven for the road.

- This one is for the road. - We're closed.

Damn it.

Oh, what is happening to humanity these days?

Fuck.

You're doing all right, Lucas,

but you still got a lot to learn.

We gotta work on your attitude.

I mean, you're not a natural when it comes

to hostility and arrogance.

But you know, given time it'll come.

It's amazing

how broccoli always makes you fart.

In a way, broccoli is the embodiment of fart.

If you could capture a piece of fart,

materialize it,

I imagine it would look pretty much like this.

The incarnation of fart.

Lucas, my boy...

You're all right.

Hi.

The bar is closed.

Oh...

Hey, don't cry.

Don't cry.

Uh, everything is going to be just fine.

Here, have a seat.

Let me get you something to drink.

- What would you like? - Champagne.

- Champagne? - Yes, please.

- Here. - Thank you.

Mm.

- Are you a stewardess? - No.

Oh.

I just thought because of the outfit...

- I got fired. - Why?

Because I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

I was afraid of flying.

Well, it's not in our nature to fly.

So I don't blame you.

You are very kind.

Can I stay with you tonight?

You mean like--

I have no place to sleep and I'm very tired.

Um...

I'm afraid that's maybe not the best idea.

Oh, no no.

Please, I am sorry. I am sorry.

Don't cry.

But we have to be very quiet

and very very careful.

- Where are we going? - I live here.

Wow.

My boss lives here too

and he's not the kind of person

you'd like to wake up in the middle of the night.

I understand.

I'm sorry.

Man: You will be at peace with yourself

and the people around you.

I am going to wake you up at the count of five.

One--

you feel yourself awakening now,

filled with energy and self-assurance.

Two-- you are feeling good

and glad to be alive.

Three-- you are awakening now, feeling...

Good morning, Jacques. This is April.

She had no place to stay and no money, so--

I want that whore out of my house immediately

and I never want to see her again.

- Did you hear what he just called me? - Yes.

Champagne is not for wetting pussies, you know.

It's for celebrating major victories in sports.

Listen to me.

There are two worlds--

the world of man and the world of the bitch.

A bar is no place for a woman.

They have the cafeterias and the patisseries.

The bar is our space.

It's a sanctuary where man can come and be free

knowing that he's perfectly protected

from any interference of the feminine.

But she's got no money and no place to stay.

Well, that's not your problem and it certainly isn't mine.

- We can't just throw her out on the street like garbage. - Yes, we can.

Don't you have any sympathy for people?

Oh, Jesus Christ, Lucas. Don't give me that.

I am just trying to be helpful!

We got everything. She's got nothing.

We can help her. It's that simple.

24 hours.

You've got 24 hours to get rid of the bitch.

So how are you feeling these days?

Doubt, fear,

pain, anxiety,

distraction, nervousness,

horror, fright, panic, dread,

terror, trepidation.

I feel like a goddamn thesaurus.

Come on, estragon, eat those herbs.

They're good for you.

Looks good.

Where is your lady room?

No lady room.

Estragon?

Where's estragon?

Estragon!

Come on. Shh.

- April: I love flowers. - Roddie: Yeah? You should come by sometime.

- April: Yes. - Roddie: Yeah.

You need a lighter?

It appears our boy roddie is having a hard time

getting his flame up.

Women can seem cute and charming on the surface.

But underneath they're the same universal bitch.

Yeah, fuck you. You little sissy-boy, huh?

- Fuck you! You come and you whine! - Whoa whoa whoa.

- Come on, flower boy! - Damn it, you fucking whore.

I'm not a whore! I'm a stimulator!

Lucas.

Come over here for a second.

I've got a therapy class at 9:30.

And when I get back, she's history, okay?

- April. - Yes?

I was thinking it's been nice

having you and everything.

Oh, thank you.

I'm very happy to be here.

Is that all you wanted to say?

Yes.

I guess so.

Because you look like

you want to tell me something--

something very important.

You have to leave.

Here.

Take this money.

It's a bit frozen at the moment.

But when it melts, it should be enough to get you back.

I'm sorry.

Man: Take a nice deep breath

and go to the center and let it out.

All: Whoooa!

Then go back. Ooh.

Ha ha ho ho ho

all: Ha ha ho ho ho

ha ha ho ho ho, ha ha ho ho ho

ha ha ho ho ho, ha ha ho ho ho...

Bad guy.

Let's get married.

- Married? - Yes.

But wouldn't we be moving a little bit fast?

Yes.

Please, Lucas, don't send me back.

Please please.

This is a big relief for me, Lucas.

You know, the bitch episode was not such a bad thing.

It made the alarm bells ring

and it allows us to be more alert from...

What the fuck is this?

Did somebody win something?

Did I miss something in the world of sports?

What the fuck is going on, Lucas?

I'm getting married.

Let me get this straight:

I ask you to kick out the bitch

and I leave you alone for six quarters of an hour.

And when I get back,

you're getting married to the bitch?

Would that be a fairly accurate account of the events?

I guess so.

Do I have to watch your every fucking step?

This is my worse nightmare come true.Fuck!

I should've been more careful. I should've prevented this.

Jesus fucking Christ!

Why can't you just stick to our plan?

What plan?

What's wrong with Enrique's daughter?

There's nothing wrong with her.

What does she have to do with anything?

You were gonna marry her.

You're crazy.

She's nine years old. I never said that.

We made a deal, you ungrateful son of a bitch.

I put all my bets on you, Lucas.

Jesus, my world is falling apart.

You're crazy.

I work like a sledgehammer in hell for your fucking bar.

You keep me here like a prisoner.

If she's not good enough for this place, then I'm out of here too.

- You can't do that. - Yes, I can.

- No, you can't. - Yes, I can.

Just take a look, Jacques.

I'll get it fresh.

- You okay? - Yeah.

Psst.

Men: Happy birthday, Jacques!

- What the fuck is this? - Men: It's your birthday.

- I don't do birthdays. - We baked the cake for you.

I don't give a fuck what you baked.

You can take that and get it out of here, all right?

- Happy birthday! Hear hear! - Happy birthday, Jacques.

Listen, you fucking bunch of "animalogical" freaks,

I don't want a fucking birthday cake

and I don't want a fucking birthday!

So take this fucking thing and get out of here.

Jesus fucking Christ!

Didn't you hear me? Get the fuck out!

Out out! All of you, now.

Go! Do you hear me? Get the fuck out!

Don't any of you fucking understand fucking English?

- Go, fuck out! - Fucking crazy.

I told you schmucks, I don't do birthdays, okay?

Now you're banned, all of you, for a week!

- What do you mean? - For a fucking cake.

For a fucking cake he bans us.

Okay.

I'm-- I'm willing to compromise,

although I hate compromise

more than anything else in the world.

But what else can I do?

You stabbed me in the back, Lucas.

You're kicking me when I'm lying down

and in no position to defend myself.

I was beginning to like you, Lucas.

I made the fatal mistake of trusting you.

What do I get? Baff.

As soon as I show a tiny spot of vulnerability,

you attack me.

You're a traitor, Lucas-- a fucking traitor.

And now I'm lying here closer to death than ever before

and from that hopeless position I have to negotiate.

Okay, the bitch can stay.

I'm not happy with it, but you leave me no choice.

I have to keep the business going.

And if this is the price, then there's nothing I can do.

If you really have it in you to take advantage

of my hopeless condition, then go ahead.

By the power vested in me by the state of New York,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Thank you.

It shouldn't come as a surprise

that your heart is close to useless by now.

So what I'm interested in doing is putting you

on a waiting list for a heart transplant.

Whoa whoa whoa.

Waiting list?

Sounds bad. I hate waiting.

Well, first of all, you have to be patient.

There's a reason we call you a patient

and that's because you have to be patient.

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

A positive attitude would really help a lot

with getting you through all this waiting.

And it's going to improve your chances of surviving a transplant.

But most importantly, you have to live a healthy life.

Okay? You can never drink or smoke again.

So what are you gonna do, doc, send me back to kindergarten?

You gotta realize I'm a dirty old bastard with filthy habits.

A new heart is a precious gift

and we only give them to those

who are going to treat their gift with respect and care.

I don't like the patronizing tone of your voice.

To be frank, I don't like your attitude at all.

Someone is gonna die so you can live. Do you get that?

Yeah, I get it.

- Now do you want me to put you on the list or not? - Yes, please.

- And you understand what it implies? - Yes, doc.

Jacques, you okay?

Here.

Take a look.

The doctor gave me this phone.

He's the only person on earth who has this number.

When it rings it can only mean one thing:

That a new heart has arrived.

So when the call comes,

I have to be at the hospital within 20 minutes.

That means I must be ready at all times--

the suitcase packed, ready to go.

Just like that.

Hi.

What are you doing?

- What are you doing? - What the fuck are you doing?

Jacques, let me explain.

Jacques, I'm sorry.

Jacques, I forgot to tell you...

We just thought it would be good for business

to incorporate the dining hall.

We can easily manage it now that we are three.

You have not understood a thing.

This is not a cafe. This is not a restaurant.

This is not a bistro, nor is this a brasserie. This is a bar.

And by definition, the capacity of a bar

cannot exceed 13 people.

- Think Jesus and his apostles. - I'm sorry.

Lucas, you must control that bitch.

Just keep her out of my face.

- So how was your date last night? - I don't know, man.

I can't get anything going. I-- I can't even...

It's hard enough meeting women.

Come on, roddie, you own a flower shop, for crying out loud.

That's a prime position to be in.

No, see, everybody thinks that. It doesn't work

because the people coming into the shop-- women--

they're buying flowers for either their boyfriends

or their husbands.

So, you know, me hitting on them

while they're doing that is just ridiculous.

And then when I do go on a date and I bring them flowers

and, you know, they know that I own a flower shop,

anything I bring them is just not impressive enough.

Forget the fucking flowers, all right?

You've gotta find a new groove.

Roddie: Yeah, it's easy for you to say.

- You're a professional. - Just talk to her, roddie.

April...

Uh, what do you usually do after work?

She's sure got the bitch element down to a science.

You should be taking notes here, Lucas.

You need to be more of a bitch yourself. You're too nice.

You see, we're not here to save people;

we're here to destroy them.

Schneke, I believe you havesomething that belongs to me.

- What is it? - My breath. You took it away.

I can't breathe when I see you.

My heart starts to race.

Can you feel it go pitter-patter?

- I was just talking to her! - Get out.

Get the hell out of here and don't come back.

Roger.

Where's April?

She left.

The bar is no place for a woman--

you were right on that one.

April was more of a man than most of the sissies that hang around here.

So you liked her?

I didn't completely dislike her.

Lucas, give me another one.

- Where's April? - She's gone.

It's a damn shame.

There used to be sparks around her.

Roddie: Pssh, you got that right.

- What are you doing? - Hey, whoa.

There's some sparks for you.

Here's to you morons.

- What's wrong with him? - I don't know.

Leave me alone, Jacques.

Let's go for a spin, leave this city for a while.

- I don't want to. - You look miserable.

You need to cheer up.

A junkyard?

How uplifting.

You're wasting my time, Jacques.

Jacques: I always dreamed of doing this.

Life's too short for lousy cars.

Jacques, I'm very sorry. It was a false alarm.

No heart?

No, we got the heart, but it was no good.

It happens very rarely, but it does happen.

The heart was no good.

You mean you scared the shit out of me for nothing?

I shit my pants because of this.

- Nurse: Heart rate: 140. - Okay, check his blood pressure.

Jacques, can you breathe?

- Can you breathe deeply? - Take deep breaths. -

blood pressure has fallen to 70/40.

Let's give him 2mg of metoprolol, I.V.

Jacques, listen to me. Can you lift your head?

Can you lift your head?

Okay, that's it. We're gonna have to keep you here.

Here you go.

- What is this? - Well, it's good for you.

What do you think I am, a fucking hamster?

Hey.

I don't think we've been introduced.

My name's Ben. I'm your new roommate. Nice to meet you.

Jacques.

What blood type are you?

- O. - O's good.

- No threat in o. - What blood type are you?

Fuckin' "a."

Christmas bells

Christmas bells

ringing loud and strong

follow them

follow them

you've been away too long

there is no Christmas

like a home Christmas

that's the time of year

all roads lead home.

Jacques: Throughout these exhausting months of doubt and pain,

my only consolation has been visualizing

that duck served on a plate.

Hang on there, Lucas.

Lower the blade for a sec.

Just out of curiosity,

what would you Buddha people eat?

Say during the festival of vesak.

Duck, personally.

I thought buddhism and vegetarianism

went hand in hand.

I mean, the first precept of buddhism

is to avoid killing or harming any living being.

So how can you reconcile that with eating meat?

Actually, the Buddha himself ate meat

and was therefore not a vegetarian.

In fact, it is thought that he died from food poisoning

after eating rotten pork.

However, he advised that meat

should only be eaten

when it was not seen, heard, or suspected

that the animal had been killed

specifically for the purpose of eating.

Let's not kid ourselves to death here.

I mean, the meat you eat is obviously from animals

butchered for the purpose of eating.

So you're breaking the first precept with every bite you chew.

As I see it, I'm not directly involved

in the killing of the animal.

Oh.

So you found the meat at the butcher's.

You didn't see no animal being killed

and you don't suspect that the butcher

killed an animal for the purpose of eating.

Kind of.

You Buddha monkeys really ought to get your story straight.

- This is fucking nonsense. - Can I kill it now?

I'll tell you what--

I don't really feel like eating an animal tonight.

Can't you prepare something without a face?

Like an octopus or something?

- You're becoming a sissy, Jacques. - I know, I know.

I don't know what's happening.

I've become all sensitive and sentimental lately.

Jacques: Wow, that looks wonderful.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Jacques.

Will I see you tomorrow?

No, I'm only allowed out for Christmas.

I have to be back at the hospital by midnight.

Hah, like cinderella.

You know, tonight I've been giving

lots of thought to something.

What is it, Jacques?

Let's sell the bar.

Sell it?

Why?

Well, as you intelligently pointed out earlier,

I have become a bit of a sissy lately.

Well, I was only joking, Jacques.

- Don't take it personally. - No no, but it's true.

Since I got the false heart,

something changed in me.

I became a sissy.

It's just a temporary thing, you know.

You're a bit weak at the moment.

You'll be back on your feet in no time,

insulting people like there's no tomorrow.

Well, thanks for the encouragement, but I'm not so sure.

You see, Lucas...

I've witnessed a change in you too.

I mean, you used to be

so open-hearted and kind--

hopelessly kind when it comes

to this type of work.

But since April left,

you've become bitter and cold,

aggressive even.

And...

It just makes me sad.

Don't be sad, Jacques.

It's mission accomplished, you know.

But it's a failed mission, Lucas.

I don't wish for you to copy my fate.

I don't want you to become bitter and cold.

Life's too short for that.

I think we should throw in the towel,

look ourselves in the eyes, and admit that we failed.

Let's get rid of the fuckin' place.

We'll split it 50/50.

I want to spend the last days of my life

in a better place than this shithole.

You go ahead, but I don't want any of it.

You don't owe me anything.

I came here to help.

And I'm sorry that I let you down--

you and April.

No.

You own half of everything

and the remaining half

goes to Enrique and Josephine.

You're back.

You're back.

Ah, this is a fantastic choice.

Here is to "avril" the great.

Man: Hey, Lucas.

I think I need to go back to my room.

Okay.

Can you define the pain on a scale of 0-10?

- How's his pain presenting? - Nurse: 10.

- Respiration? - Labored.

Let's give him .25 Nitroglycerin and 5mg of morphine.

- Man: Lucas. - Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.

- Want champagne? - Yes, please.

Lucas: Estragon? Estragon?

What do you need?

Oh!

Mm.

Before the mind

was an open book

the pages all white

as white can be

but then someone starts

filling them in

the ink is black

and the words are grim

secrets are soon

to be discovered

and hidden things

will always be found

forbidden words

are slowly moving in

just like words

they make no sound

it's there

it's not gone

the boat should be

sailing out tonight

filled with a dream

that you didn't want

but when it sinks

they wash up on the shore

follow the path

back to your door

secrets are soon

to be discovered

and hidden things

will always be found

forbidden words

are slowly moving in

just like words

they make no sound

it's there

it's not gone

tonight.