Original subtitles

Oh shit!

Wait up!

Wait up!

The bird just took the crap out of my shirt!

Oh man!

It's all over your head.

On my head?

Yeah.

Oh shit.

It wasn't just any bird there, Bobby.

That was a turtle dove.

You just got shit on by the bird of love.

It definitely wasn't the first time either.

How symbolic, Bob.

It definitely means something.

I heard it means good luck, actually.

Yeah, well I sure as hell wouldn't want the bird of love crapping all over me.

Excuse me, it aimed at the whole boat.

Maybe, but it landed on you.

Your love life is doomed.

Poor, poor Bob.

You know what?

I wouldn't say anything if I were you guys, because none of you have gotten laid

in months, including Walter, and he's in a permanent relationship.

So how pathetic is that?

You know, it's hard to want to do it when the person

you're seeing is desperate to get pregnant, you know?

I feel like a walking sperm bank.

What?

You don't know how to say no?

I have tried about a thousand times.

Not as the last time I tell you anything there, nits.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, I'm a pretty good listener, you know that?

In fact, I've been studying how to read people's

deepest emotions in their body language, and their eyes.

If you watch their eyes, you can tell so much.

Can I help, Bob?

Yeah.

Tell me.

What do you see in my eyes?

I see a little boogie.

That's what I thought.

I can also tell with Michael here, whose balls are so blue.

Hey, don't even start with me.

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's how great my sex life is.

My sex life sucks.

Are you having trouble getting an erection?

No.

The sex part's fine.

It's the relationship part I'm having trouble with.

I love women.

I really do.

But every time they bring up kids and marriage and that sort of thing,

I seem to shy away.

And I want to want those things.

Well, we'll work on this.

I guess I ought to tell you this other thing.

I can't stop lusting.

Every time I look at a woman, I wonder what it would be like to, you know,

to have sex with her.

And I even did it with you.

Well, you know, we're now at a point in our therapy where a transference takes place.

Well, it's not like I think of having sex with you every time I come here.

I mean, I don't even think of you as a woman anymore.

I didn't mean it like that.

The real reason I'm calling is we're very excited about this new company,

South Shore.

They, uh...

Rather, South Shore's competition...

Tepco.

Tepco Systems, Inc.

Yeah.

Well, they've made some bold moves on the superhighway.

And we're feeling pretty good about it.

Yeah, it was a surprise, let me tell you.

Frankly, to all of us here at the firm.

But last week, they were struggling a little bit.

But this week, we feel that they're coming along.

You know, the iron's hot and we're ready to strike.

So...

How much do I think you should invest?

Well, that, uh...

That depends on your, your, your, uh... On your goals.

And, uh... I mean, personally, I wouldn't go below...

$25,000?

$2,500 is perfect as an initial, uh... Purchase.

So... So should I do that, then?

Put you down for, uh... For $2,500, then.

For Tepco.

Okay.

All right.

Well, you think about it.

And, uh... And I'll call you in a day or two to see how, uh...

I'll wait for your call.

Bye-bye.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Montgomery.

Good morning, Jenny.

Good morning.

Good morning, Valerie.

Will you get me the sketches from yesterday, and a hot cup of tea, please?

Sure thing.

He's looking particularly good today.

You can say that again.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning, Professor Mushnick.

General advertising.

Yes, Mr. Kramer is in.

He's calling.

Please speak.

I, um, brought you some fresh mint.

Because I know how much you love mint.

Thank you, Allie.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Anything?

Nothing.

She wants you so bad it hurts me.

What do we got here, Jim?

Have you taken a good look at that woman?

What woman?

Valerie.

Your secretary.

The one in the body that walks in and out of here.

When's the last time you went on a date, anyway?

You know, Jim, I...

I don't think that's any of your business.

Are you like one of those guys that's like a mommy issue thing?

Like you don't want to betray mommy?

You got the, uh, money, you got the job, you got the looks.

You know, what do you have that I don't have?

Jim, could we talk about this?

I'm having some real problems with this campaign.

I know how you get the women to like it.

You ignore them.

Treat them like shit.

Women love to be treated like shit.

Jim, I'm paying you to work here, not to philosophize about women.

My problem is I'm too nice.

You gotta keep it complicated, kind of like distracting.

Your mom's on line one.

Thank you, Valerie.

Hey, Val.

How you doing?

You look like shit.

Yeah, well, you always look like shit.

Hi, mother.

Now, mom, how many times do I have to tell you no blind dates?

Oh.

I was thinking how beautiful your eyes are.

Thank you.

That's so sweet.

Thanks.

So, tell me about yourself.

What do you want to know?

What do you like to do for fun?

I like to row.

How cute.

I used to date a guy who sailed.

Phil.

He always wanted to take me sailing.

Never wanted to take me to the movies.

Never even wanted to take me out to dinner.

He just wanted to go sailing.

I spent a fortune on Dramamine.

Finally, I found out why I feel like going sailing so much.

He didn't want to be seen with me in public.

He was married.

You're not married, are you?

No.

Of course not.

Just checking.

So, why aren't you married?

I have some incredible news for you.

What's up?

Oh, my God.

You got that promotion.

Honey, that's terrific.

No, no, no.

It's nothing to do with me.

Oh.

Are you ready for this?

Mm-hmm.

Alice is pregnant.

Oh.

Oh.

Can I have some of your master's house, please?

That's terrific, Nancy.

You can at least pretend to be excited.

What, because some girl who lives in Seattle who

I've only met three times in my life is pregnant?

I mean, I don't really know Alice.

You're at her wedding.

Oh.

Ready?

Set.

Go.

Oh.

Whoa.

Go.

Oh.

Aahhh!

All right.

I'm Spartacus.

Bottoms up.

Mm.

Oh.

Start cleaning the bar.

My man.

So did you guys have a great weekend or what?

I couldn't wait for it to end.

Why do you always say that?

Because they bore me.

Well, it depends on what you do with them, Scott.

Yeah, you find a great girl, it's not that bad.

Don't you find a monotonous dating all the time, Bob?

Who said anything about dating, you know what I mean?

This whole thing about wining and dining girls, it either clicks or it doesn't.

And if it does, you can take the girl for burgers

and fries and she still likes you, you know?

Why not just skip the whole aggravation?

What would you do then?

I don't know, stay home, read, watch a movie.

Crochet, knit, jerk off, whatever.

Why do we hang out with him?

Stock tips.

Lower the back.

Lower the back.

Come on!

Over the head, over the head, over the head.

Hey, who's the hottie?

God.

Mommy, mommy.

God, don't I know her from some place?

If I knew her, I'd remember.

Especially if you knew her in the biblical sense.

Watch out for the water.

Whoa!

Nice pop.

Hey, I'll get yours.

That's a good idea.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, I think we did really good today, you guys.

Oh, not too bad, not too bad.

Oh, man.

What's going on?

Come on, let's face it, we're hot shit.

I got a great idea.

What?

Let's try out for the king of Zimbabwe.

What do you want, crack?

Yes!

No.

Crack?

Yeah, we can win.

We can absolutely win it.

Yes!

No, we can't.

Patrick, another round of J&B, we want to make a toast to the Kingsley Regatta.

A toast to the Kingsley Regatta.

We're going to win the whole thing.

That's great.

Come on.

Yeah, we can do it.

We can totally do it.

Of course, put your ass in there.

What are you laughing at?

I thought of you guys and the Regatta.

You think that's funny?

You guys still dicking around on the river?

Yes, we're still dicking around on the river.

You know what?

I've seen you guys rowing.

You're not that great.

Oh, yeah?

Tell you what.

Tomorrow morning, 8 o'clock, winner gets a keg of beer.

Ooh.

That's a bet.

Here's a bet.

Tomorrow morning, 8 o'clock, we race, like you said.

All right.

But this time, the loser has to run bare butt naked down the river.

All right.

Let's do it.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

No doubt the most embarrassing day of my life.

I've never been so fucking humiliated.

I think we should have videotaped it and sent it to our parents for Christmas.

You know, Bob.

I think we've had enough of your suggestions.

You know, I really think I've had enough of this whole rowing thing.

Now, I hate rowing.

Yeah, rowing sucks.

Sure does.

Maybe we should go back to golf.

Or tennis.

We weren't so bad at tennis.

We sucked at tennis.

No, we were all right at tennis.

Okay.

God.

She has got the nicest legs I've ever seen.

She is so beautiful.

What a beautiful mouth.

I've seen an awful lot of you boys lately.

Our father was a legend around this place.

He was a great rower.

So is she.

Yeah, like us, I take it, right?

Have you been rowing long?

Long time.

Oh yeah.

Since the 40s.

True story.

Weird stuff.

Couldn't you tell?

Your rhythm is a tad wonky.

All you need is a little practice.

Well, maybe you could help us.

Give us a wonky tad.

That's a great idea.

What do you say?

Hey, I thought you were giving row enough.

Patrick.

We live for a row to live.

Sorry.

So, coach, what do you say?

Well, how do I know your intentions are honorable?

Don't we look honorable?

Yeah, what are you trying to say?

We could really use your help.

This is true.

It'll have to be early.

Early's good.

Yeah, we love early.

Friday morning?

Seven?

Great.

Perfect.

Fine.

Great.

Good Friday.

See you.

Early bird gets the worm.

See you then.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Thanks, coach.

Toodle-oo.

Wow.

I don't get women.

Unbelievable.

Oh, my God.

Friday morning?

I have a teacher's meeting Friday morning.

Friday morning at seven?

I see my shrink on Fridays.

Oh, Christ.

I have an important business meeting.

So, I guess we'll just have to cancel her out, right?

No.

No.

Are you kidding?

No.

No.

Go!

Is this gonna...

It's quarter to seven!

I've got to be kidding.

Come on.

Wow.

What?

What is she?

7 or 1.

How about?

She looked good.

Thanks.

Bet she forgot.

When will she forget.

Whew.

Oh my gosh.

Who was she?

Let me tell you.

Hey guys, over there.

God save the Queen.

Morning.

Alright, let's get this show on the road.

Show on the road.

Show on the road.

Three.

Focusing on your rhythm.

Eyes front.

Watch the oar in front of you.

We're all following Bob here.

Fortunately or unfortunately.

Sit up tall.

Tucking in.

Lower back.

Pull into chest.

Down the way.

I want you to feel it in your back.

Gentlemen.

Push with your legs.

Don't kick, Bob.

I want to hear the feathering.

Plant the oars.

I want to hear one oar.

Not four of you.

Good.

Walter, pick up the pace.

Walter, focus.

I'm focusing.

I'm focusing.

Eyes front.

Pick up the pace.

Increase the rhythm.

God, man.

I haven't felt like this since football practice.

My back is killing me.

Really, I feel great.

You did much better.

You know, if you work hard, you might make the regatta.

Really?

What do you say?

Maybe you'll be our coxswain?

No, I don't think so.

Come on.

Please?

You're really desperate.

Yeah, we...

We really are.

You really want to do it?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Yes.

If there's any dilly-dally, then I'm history.

No dilly-dally.

No dilly-dally.

Whatsoever.

Next time, Willa, we'll start with some exercises.

Great.

Exercise.

I could listen to her give us those commands all day.

Not a bad coach.

Not bad.

She's excellent.

I'm starting to feel like a jock.

I don't know about you guys, but...

I'm having kind of a hard time concentrating.

She's a pretty serious babe.

She's definitely attractive.

I don't know.

The more I get to know her, the...

the less attracted I am to her.

She's like a sister to me.

Really?

Personally, I think we ought to make a pact.

Right here.

Right now.

That nobody goes out with her in like, you know, a date-like situation.

You mean no...

sexual intercourse?

Exactly.

Sounds reasonable.

Does oral sex count?

Yes.

We're gonna make a pact.

Using the, uh...

sacred... aura of truth.

She can make a pact with my sacred aura of truth anytime she wants.

You know, do you always have to be like that?

You know?

It's all you ever think of.

Come on.

Get over here.

We solemnly swear... We solemnly swear...

not to have sex with Kimberly.

Not to have sex with Kimberly.

For as long as we shall row.

For as long as we shall row.

So help us, God of the river.

So help us, God of the river.

Hey, Kimberly.

Hey.

I wanted to thank you.

You're really helping us out a lot.

It's my pleasure.

Thank you.

Well, I thought the...

the least I could do would be to take you out to dinner.

It's very kind of you, but entirely unnecessary.

You might know a great little Italian place down the street.

Not into dating.

Dating?

Who says anything about dating?

I'm talking about dinner.

Food.

You do have to eat, don't you?

Good morning, Ms. Coxswain.

Coxswain.

Coxswain.

I'm a rhythm counter.

Sounds seriously perverted to me.

You know, which scarf on the dummy?

This scarf on the dummy.

So, are they cute?

Oh.

Oh my God, this one right there.

What are you doing?

Want to come in?

You know, he certainly doesn't look like a rower to me.

He will.

Give him time.

Hello.

What a coincidence.

I didn't know that you worked here.

Sarah, Walter, Walter, Sarah.

Hi.

Hi.

How do you do?

Nice to meet you.

So, what are you doing in this neck of the woods?

Huh?

Well, there's a great coffee shop across the street.

You know, I was going to have some breakfast.

Really?

Which one?

I don't know.

And how about joining me?

I would love to, but I can't because I'm working.

No, no, no, no.

You should go.

Really, I'll stay here and watch the shop.

Hey, try the blueberry muffins.

Trust me, you won't regret it.

So, after traveling with the dead the summer after

I graduated, I knew I had to get my act together.

But my mom, she wanted me to go to med school.

My dad wanted to follow in his footsteps and be a lawyer.

And all I wanted to do was write.

Wait, you spent the summer traveling with the Grateful Dead?

Yeah, I sold the, um, the mushroom burrito, you know.

Anyway, I lived out of my van, and I read all the Dostoevsky,

Tolstoy, Sartre, Camus.

I mean, it was great.

And now, I'm teaching it.

Romantic literature.

How romantic?

Yeah.

Oh, I've got it.

It's too much caffeine.

Ooh.

Well, hello.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

How?

Ooh.

Out, out, damn spot.

Macbeth.

Thank you for breakfast.

You're welcome.

I hope you can, uh, get that.

Oh, yeah, it's no problem.

I really enjoyed talking with you.

I'll, uh, see you on Monday.

Lundi, that's French.

Hey, Kim.

We better not tell the guys about this, you know.

They might, uh, get jealous.

A bientot.

Hey, come here.

Yeah, that's a nice dog you got here.

I mean, what's that?

Oh!

This is lovely.

You must eat here often.

No, I've never been here.

Signor Stark.

Come, Stark.

It's nice to see you again.

Yeah.

Once or twice, a long time ago.

Do you usual Bellini, Signor Stark?

Yes.

Would you like one?

Mm-hmm.

Signor Stark, what would you recommend?

Um...

They have great pasta.

Mm-hmm.

So you grew up in England?

Tell me.

No.

Actually, I spent 12 delicious years here.

Followed by a couple of crappy ones.

London was the, uh, aftermath of my parents' divorce.

Is that where you learned how to row?

No, here.

My father and I spent a lot of time on the river.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Was he any good?

Yes.

He made the Olympic team.

Really?

The Olympics?

Mm-hmm.

Are you kidding?

No.

Wow.

Does he still row?

No.

Actually, he died last year.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

That's why I'm here.

I need to sell the house.

What about you?

Well, I remodel old Victorian townhouses.

And, uh, and I live with a, uh, a really beautiful young female named Lucy.

Really?

Yeah.

She's gorgeous.

Nice mustache.

When I was a child, we once had ten cats.

Ten cats?

Yeah.

That's a lot of kitty cats.

Not to mention kitty litter.

We lived on a farm, and my father got the cats so they could kill the mice.

You know, if Lucy met a mouse, I think she'd probably fall deeply in love with her.

And, uh, they'd move in together.

Bellini.

Oh.

Bellini.

E salute.

To...

to you, Kimberly.

Thank you for dinner.

Sure.

Delicious.

Thank you.

I had a great time.

Me too.

Let's, uh, do it again soon.

Good night.

Good night.

Wait.

Let's, uh, let's not tell the guys about this.

They might get jealous.

So, I just think it's better if we don't, you know, tell the other guys.

They might get... Jealous?

No!

Come on!

What are you talking about?

There's no way that was a strike!

That was so outside.

Unbelievable.

Sorry, I get a little animated.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I know.

I'm a little fanatical, but what can I tell you?

I love it.

Now this next pitch, watch it.

He's gonna get a hit.

No way.

He's in a huge slump.

Come on, you don't follow baseball.

Sometimes.

There's no way he's gonna get a hit.

I'll bet you.

Why?

The loser has to howl at the moon.

You'd better loosen up your vocal cords.

Me, me, me, me, me.

Come on, now.

Give him something to hit.

Come on, that was good.

Drop that tomato.

Tomato?

Hi, Kimberly.

Hey!

Hi.

You look great today.

Thank you.

So what's with all the spinach?

Oh, I was... I was gonna try and cook a spinach pie.

You were gonna try and cook a spinach pie?

Yeah.

My cooking is about as confident as your rowing.

That bad?

Mm-hmm.

So where did you learn to cook?

I picked it up from my mom.

You know, I don't often get to cook for someone else.

You're not as bad at socials as I get.

You do.

Yeah.

Oh, it smells delicious.

This is nice.

So, Kimberly, do you have a boyfriend?

Oh, God, no.

I was engaged.

I was engaged.

And, uh... He got cold feet.

And, uh...

And, uh...

Poof.

I actually don't know why I'm joking about it.

It really hurt.

I imagine.

That's okay, I'm over it.

It's been two years.

My God, two years.

I guess I haven't been that socially inclined, either.

So, in answer to your question...

Nope.

I don't have a boyfriend.

A toast.

To the future.

And, uh... No more poofs.

Hey, guys.

Did you have a great weekend?

Yeah, it was a great weekend.

So, what did you do?

Let's get the boat.

Yeah, let's get the boat.

Hello, boys.

Hi, Kimberly.

Hey.

One...

Two...

Three...

Four...

Six...

Seven...

Eight... Nine... Ten... 11... 12... 13... 14...

15...

16...

17... 18...

19...

20... 21...

22...

23... 24... 25... 26... 27... 29...

30...

31... 32... 33... 34... 36...

37...

38...

39... 40... 41...

46...

47...

48... 49... 50... 51... 52... 52... 53... 54... 59...

60...

52... 53... 54... 55... 56... 57... 58... 59...

60... 61... 62... 63... 64... 65...

66... 67... 68... 69... 69... 71...

72...

73...

74... 75... 76... 77... 78...

78...

79... 87... 88... 89... 90...

90...

91... 92... 93...

96... 97... 98... 99... 100... 100... 100... 100...

100...

You know one moment I feel like I've made four really great friends and then I feel

as though they all want more than friendship and I don't know how I feel about that.

Maybe you ought to slow things down a little.

So have you done it with any of them yet?

Done what?

You look a little peaked.

Yeah, Michael's right.

You look kind of sickly.

I'm fine.

I think we should go back.

Yeah, you're right.

We should go.

Oh, God.

Let's turn around.

Way enough.

Guys, I'm really fine.

Hold water.

Hold water.

No, we'll just go back.

Walter, a little harder.

You want me to give you a ride home?

No?

I know a great doctor.

Get some rest or something.

I can bring you some chicken soup.

It's got natural penicillin in it.

I'm fine.

Let's reschedule.

Reschedule?

Okay.

Bye.

My bet?

What?

She's on the rag.

On the rag, Bob?

Nice, Bob.

Sick.

Jerk.

What?

I meant it in the clinical sense.

Come on.

Give me a break.

I thought it would be different.

This wasn't supposed to happen to me.

I didn't even know.

I knew that the condo...

What broke, Mama?

She's the one.

She... She's right for me.

So, you think you're interested in a serious relationship with Kimberly?

Yes.

Yes, I am.

You know, relationships take work, Michael.

Commitment.

Compromise.

You have to trust.

And you have to... You have to surrender.

And... I... I... I... What?

What is it?

I... I can do that.

Well, it takes work, Michael, but it can be wonderful.

And if you understand this, then we're making progress.

Wow.

Maybe that's what true love is.

Making progress in therapy.

Hi.

Hello.

I was in the neighborhood.

I... I... I thought I'd stop by and see how you're feeling.

I feel, um... A little bit better.

Good.

Is it a 24-hour flu or something like that?

No.

Not exactly.

No?

Well, what was it?

Something completely unexpected.

Oh.

Like what?

Oh.

I'm pregnant.

You're pregnant?

I'm pregnant.

How... I mean, wow.

Wow.

Uh...

Um...

Uh...

Well, I...

I think we can deal with this.

Do you think you're ready for a child?

So what do you want to do?

Um...

I...

I want to make the right decision.

I say have it.

I love kids.

And anything you need from me...

Anything at all... It's yours.

Thank you for saying that.

I mean it.

Do you have some sugar?

Oh, yes.

Over.

I had egg too.

No, um...

It's antidepressants.

Sometimes I need a little extra help.

Wow.

Geez.

Parenthood.

Do you think you're... You're ready for that?

To be a mom and everything?

Because if you are, I mean, it's... It's great, you know?

I mean, it's... That's your... Your choice.

I mean, who's going to tell you what to do, really?

You know?

You get to say.

It's your... Your body.

Legally and morally and everything.

It's up to you.

And... And... I mean, I think that's... That's good.

You know, you're starting to look a little pregnant, I think.

Little?

No.

Well, I mean, in a good way.

You're... You're flushed.

You... You... It's... You're... You're... You're starting to look, ah... Rosy.

Ah...

Wow.

If... If you need anything, I'll be out here.

Okay?

Don't... Don't worry about me.

I'm fine.

And I don't know that I'm ready to be a dad just yet.

But...

Wow.

It's funny.

I don't even really remember what happened that night.

Life is so cruel.

You drink a little too much and you pass out and then bam,

here comes little Bob or little Babette right into the world.

But, you know, what are you going to do?

It's, you know, life is short and then you keep moving, right?

You just, wow, there's not much change in it.

You just pop forward.

Right?

Everything's fine.

Are you okay?

I'm sorry.

Is everything... you alright?

Good.

Good.

Yes.

Good.

Good.

You're going to be fine.

Thank you for being just so understanding.

No, it's great.

You're going to be great.

Okay.

Are you sure you're pregnant?

Yes.

And it's really important that I be honest.

Look, I have to be honest with you here.

I have a girlfriend.

Okay?

I have a Nancy.

We've been together for three years now and she is going to kill me.

I'm dead.

Dead.

You know, we have to talk about this, Kimberly.

This isn't the right thing to do here.

This is not plain pregnancy.

You know, for God's sakes.

You're not actually thinking of having it, are you?

I don't... You don't know.

Look, I don't want to be a part of this.

You know, I can't be a part of this, okay?

This is not for me.

No.

No.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

Hi, Nance.

Nothing.

I'm just correcting some papers.

Do you want to go out to dinner?

No.

I don't think so.

Sushi?

All right then.

I'll see you in a little bit then.

Okay.

Go.

Go.

Go.

I've been... I've been trying to sort out what I should do.

Keeping an open mind.

I hope you can do the same.

What I have to say...

is going to affect all of you.

I want to have this baby.

Well, I'm a little confused.

Um...

Why does this concern you?

Well...

No.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Have you...

Have you been with all four of us?

Well, I've been spending time with all of you.

And I care very much about each of you.

And I've heard...

everything that each of you has had to say.

And...

whatever you decide to do... is really fine with me.

I would love...

more than anything in the world...

for all four of you to be involved.

But even if I have to do this on my own...

I really want to have this baby.

Kimberly, wait.

I'm really fine.

I'm okay.

Did that just happen?

How could you guys have done this to me?

I thought we were best friends, man.

You guys are traitors.

Oh, this is crazy.

What are you talking about?

Aren't you a traitor too there, Mikey?

Huh?

No, but I love her.

Oh.

I can't believe you guys did this to me, man.

We had a pact.

Yeah, well, it looks like we all broke the pact.

Hey.

I wasn't the only one.

Relax.

What about them?

You know, try and be mature here.

There's a big decision to make.

Yeah, really?

Well, I have made my decision.

I am never talking to that girl again, ever.

Well, good.

I want to know right now who slept with her.

Honestly, all I remember is sleeping.

Walter.

I'm not fucking telling you.

Oh, I see.

I see.

Scott, you didn't sleep with her, right?

Please.

Oh, my God, I think I'm going to be sick.

I don't understand.

What has she gained by having all of us involved?

I mean, as fathers.

I mean, you know what?

It doesn't matter.

You know what?

Because I made my decision here and I never want to see that person again.

You know what?

You don't have to count me out on this because

I don't want to be a part of this, okay?

I would rather fucking die.

I got to call my shrink.

I think I'm having a nervous fucking breakdown.

I can't believe this is happening.

I can't fucking believe this.

I can't believe this girl.

You know?

I wish she was going to ruin my life.

I can't believe her.

The fucking slut.

Fuck you, Walter.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

No!

Jesus.

Get the fuck out of my way.

Fuck you guys.

I'm never talking to you assholes again.

What about the race?

Louise, my darling Louise.

You have no idea how much I've missed you.

Yeah?

Is that why I haven't heard from you in three months?

Three months?

Has it really been three months already?

Yeah.

My biological clock says even longer.

Well, you know, I've been working and rowing a lot.

Rowing?

Yeah.

Is that what you're calling it now?

You used to refer to it as a cultural exchange.

It's not like that, really.

It's actually been kind of rough out there.

Kind of in the middle of a crisis.

I guess I could just use a little Louise compassion, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's this?

You've had a big disappointment in love.

You've been dumped.

Well, I wish it were that simple.

That'd be great.

Actually, I guess I'm just kind of lost right now.

Can I ask you a question?

Shoot.

What do you think of babies?

I...

Are you trying to tell me that the boar, the wild boar,

the barbarian, the warrior is thinking about settling down?

No, not exactly.

You're not going all soft on me, are you?

No, no, no.

I was just, you know...

I was just wondering what you thought about the idea of raising kids.

Well, as long as they're mine.

I love it.

Babies.

Babies all over.

Babies, babies, come on.

Oh, God.

You were talking in your sleep.

I don't know.

What are you talking about?

You were.

You were talking about babies.

Your biological clock is ticking.

Babies?

Mm-hmm.

I think you're finally starting to come around.

No, no, no.

I'm not starting to come around.

I'm not ready for a kid.

Well, are you ready for a serious relationship?

Yes.

What do you think we're in right now?

Well, I don't know.

Why don't you tell me?

You know, there's something going on with you,

Walter, but I can't quite figure out what it is.

You're just imagining things.

Ah.

Am I really?

Yes.

Could you just lighten up a little, please?

Walter?

Walter, can you tell me what you see in our future?

Do we have to have this discussion at three in the morning?

Well, yes.

You never want to have this discussion, so I want to have it at three in the morning.

I won't.

I'm going back to sleep.

Fine.

What are you doing?

I'm packing.

That's what you can call it.

Like I have anything here to pack.

Where's my diaphragm?

It's probably fossilized by now.

Isn't that ugly thing my parents gave me?

What the hell is it doing in there?

I don't know.

It's resting.

Can we talk about this now?

No.

We cannot talk about this.

I'm sick of this shit.

We've been together for three years, and I'm sick

of being treated like some piece of furniture.

Piece of furniture?

Like, nothing's progressed.

Nothing's gone anywhere.

What do you mean, nothing's progressed?

If I didn't know you better, I would say you were having an affair.

Having an affair?

Yeah, but I know you, and I think you're incapable of having an affair.

You don't even have the balls to have an affair.

Oh, I don't have the balls to have an affair.

You can't even take care of your own girlfriend.

I mean, everything's been going wrong for

me, and I promise these are gonna get better.

Well, you know what, Walter?

That's just not good enough.

I mean, I mean, just give me a chance to work things out.

Calmly grow up, Walter.

Adieu.

Shit.

Look, I like Kimberly.

I mean, she's great.

I just... I don't know if I'm ready to have a kid right now.

Well, I think she needs her help up.

What's wrong with sharing a little responsibility?

Sharing?

I don't know.

It's...

Hold on a second.

Hi.

Scott, man, I'm glad you called.

I'm losing my mind here.

I got my whole world that's just crashing down and everything is...

Let me get you a drink.

Hey, Walter.

Walter.

What's he doing here?

I think we need to talk.

Look, guys, we've known each other for a long time.

I can't let this end our friendship.

Yeah, well, you know, we've got the race coming

up, and we should keep the team together.

Bob and I have decided to help Kimberly.

We have?

We have.

We have.

And we think you should, too.

Nancy left me.

I haven't slept in a week.

And I was a complete asshole to Kimberly.

So does that mean yes?

Do I have a choice?

Yeah.

That's a good choice.

Good choice.

Come here.

You shouldn't leave this door unlocked.

Oh, Christ.

There goes the neighborhood.

Micah, wait.

Wait.

I don't like being tricked.

Just hear me out.

If you don't like what I have to say... Leave.

Come on.

Come on.

Let him go, Scott.

Let's let him go, Scott.

You know, I don't want to be a part of this if he's gonna be a part of it.

You know what, Walter?

Sit down.

What?

Punch me in the face again?

We've all decided to help Kimberly.

We want you in.

No, we don't.

Grow up, Walter.

Eat me, Bob.

We're friends.

What's done is done.

You can't change that.

Right now, Kimberly, she needs our help.

You don't want her going through this alone, Michael.

I know you love her.

I know you want to do the right thing.

Okay?

Hi.

Hey.

Hi.

Can we come in?

Yeah.

We've, uh, we've been talking and we've come to a decision.

You know, we're sorry.

We thought about what you said and you were right.

We, uh, we want to be there for you during your pregnancy.

You know, to help out and stuff.

That is if you'll let us.

Yeah, as long as you take that white stuff off your face.

I'm so happy.

Oh, thanks.

All right.

Yow.

Actually, uh, I feel really good about that.

You know, this is gonna be great.

How great can it be?

Oh, I think this is gonna add a whole new dimension to our lives.

Anarchy.

Complete, total anarchy.

Oh, come on, Walter.

We've talked about 19th century romanticism and the search for true love.

Remember that?

The one you want to die for?

Now we're gonna discuss a more timely issue.

One that's gonna help you with your, with your everyday lives.

And that is how to deal with romance in the 1990s and beyond.

Okay?

Okay.

Um, forget the Prince Charming.

Forget, uh, that bitch, uh, Cinderella.

Forget the fairy tales because those are outdated, superfluous notions.

Okay?

They are out.

They're out.

They're finished.

All right?

Now is the winter of our discontent.

I mean, to be or not to be, but that is the question.

Whether there's no one to suffer their origins,

fortunes and the slings and arrows and the...

And the, you know what I'm saying?

Okay?

It's, it's amazing because now we are moving into the unexpected, okay?

Men are changing.

Women are changing.

Be ready.

This is the new existentialism.

This is the existentialism... Where's my fucking chalk?

Where the fuck... This is the existentialism of the independent woman...

let's just call her Kay...

and the dependent man...

Another guy, another dependent man... Okay?

It is complete and total anarchy.

Questions, anybody?

Wow, um, yes.

Is it as crazy as it seems?

Well, that's not for me to decide, is it?

This whole thing has made me...

It's made me realize that I...

I really am in love.

No, I really love her.

I mean, I'm sure I'm pissed, I'm...

I'm aggravated, I'm hurt, I'm like... All those things, you know?

But...

But I love her.

How nice.

Tell me.

Does she fit into your definition of the perfect woman?

You know...

I'm not even thinking about it that way anymore.

I just...

I have these feelings.

They're...

They're deeper, you know?

They're...

I mean, real, real deep feelings.

I just...

I just don't know how to explain it.

I don't know how to express them.

Well, why don't you try?

Hello, Mr. Hartwick.

It's Bob here, friendly neighborhood stockbroker.

How are you?

Listen, I found a great little stock for you.

It's a small company.

They just invented a microchip that all the

other microchip manufacturers are gonna be using.

What?

I sound a little frantic?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Not at all.

It's just, uh...

It's good to be alive.

Listen.

Mr. Hartwick.

You need to make some money, right?

And I definitely need to make some money.

Well, you got a family to support, am I right?

Well, I know how you feel.

How do I know how you feel?

No, no, I'm not married.

But you don't have to be married to support a child these days, am I right?

So what do you say?

Can I send you some information on this, uh...

You trust me?

Great!

That's, that's, uh... That's great.

I'll, uh...

I'll have my associate give you a call and we

can go ahead and put the transaction through.

Great, thanks very much.

I know you're making a wise investment here.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Bye-bye.

Whoo!

Yes!

Whew!

You gotta work a little bit harder when you got an extra mouth to feed.

You're having a baby?

No.

No, no, I, uh...

I got a dog.

What kind?

A Chihuahua.

They're so cute!

All right, I know what we need for the ad campaign.

It relates to the new baby boom.

New baby boom.

Mm-hmm.

I think we should build this campaign around a present.

A present for a pregnant woman.

For a sedan?

Exactly my point.

These pregnant women, they're going out and buying these utility vehicles and

minivans, and half the time it's too much car for them.

Also, they guzzle gas.

The sedan, on the other hand, it's got four doors,

it's economical on gas, and it's comfortable.

Mm, you get a point.

Great.

Let's get some sketches as soon as possible.

And let's put a pregnant dog in with the woman.

Pregnant?

What?

Valerie, can you get the representatives from Dodge on the line for me?

What's with him?

Maybe he's finally getting light.

And Valerie?

Are you free for lunch?

No.

Yes.

Okay.

Hey guys.

Okay.

I got everybody one of these.

Mm.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bringing Up Baby.

Yeah, I think we should all read this.

What does it mean?

I've been thinking about the near future.

And Kimberly's already taken her prenatal vitamins.

But I think we need to start regarding her diet.

Her diet?

Yeah, she should be eating five well-balanced, healthy meals a day.

Like burgers and shakes and fries, something to put a little weight on.

No.

She's got to put on some weight.

And no drinking.

And very little caffeine.

Listen, I'm also looking forward to seeing what you're going to do with your life.

I'm looking into the best OBGYN in town.

I've got a few names, and I'm going to set up some interviews for next week.

And I got the names of some pediatricians.

And Bob, we should open up a, uh, a trust fund.

All right.

Cool.

I can do that.

No problem.

Hey, Walter.

You okay?

I've never been so stressed out in my life.

I think I'm clenching my teeth at night.

My...

Yeah.

I'm going to give you the number of a friend of mine.

What?

A hooker?

You might shrink, you idiot.

Oh.

Well, I got the number of a hooker if you need it.

Guys, it's okay to be stressed out.

But we really need to look after Kimberly right now.

Yeah.

We need to make sure her world is as stress-free as possible.

Yeah.

You know what she could use?

Lots of massages.

What are you talking about?

What?

Actually, Bob, it's not a bad idea.

See?

I got the number of a masseuse if we need it.

I've also been thinking about natural, uh, child birthing.

I think a, a water birthing is the way to go.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

She needs to go to a hospital.

She needs the best care that Western medicine can offer.

What's that thing called where you're breathing?

It's an expert on childbirth.

I've been doing a lot of research.

Yeah.

Well, I've been doing research, too.

Let's shut her down, you guys.

It's not a big deal.

Hey, let's get her a cell phone so she can carry it around with her.

That's a good idea.

See?

Great.

Does everybody want a beeper?

Yeah.

I'll pick up the beepers.

Cool.

Oh, God.

What?

Walter?

What's the matter with you?

It's just, I don't know.

It's in my neck.

It's just, I don't know.

There's like a shooting pain in my neck and my ass hurts and my back is fucking...

Hey.

You gotta relax.

It's just...

Come on, man.

You gotta take it one day at a time.

All Walter needs is to get laid.

Oh, no.

Thank you.

Hey, guys.

We're having a baby.

We're gonna be dads.

You know, this is the most thrilling time in a man's life.

It's our... our first... child.

Wow.

I hope he's got my eyes.

And my brains.

And my sensitivity.

And... Walter's cock.

Walter, you okay?

Medic!

Is it my weight that's slowing this boat down?

Speed, gentlemen.

I don't know what's Charlie doing.

Strong arms, Bobby.

Michael, snap that catch.

From the finish.

Row.

Now.

Keep driving.

So, Scotty, are you gonna tell us about your girlfriend?

Uh, Kimberly?

You're still seeing her, aren't you?

Oh, absolutely.

Well, are we ever going to meet her?

I don't know, Mom.

She's been pretty busy.

Really?

Doing what?

Well, she's having a...

Um... I don't know.

She's having... Having what?

What?

She's having a baby.

She's pregnant.

Does that mean that I'm about to become a grandfather?

Well, that depends on how broad-minded you are.

Oh.

My boss overheard me talking about it.

He wanted the seats.

Did you see that thing last night?

That... That play where the guy's head, like, comes... Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

We'll talk when we get there, huh?

Shall we?

As long as it's not too expensive.

Yeah.

Uh, I was just curious what kind of children's

clothes your company's manufacturing now?

Uh, hang on just a second...

How do they call them?

Put the needle through this loop, pull the yarn to the other needle,

knit one, purl two.

Do they like that?

Right.

You don't have those drops for your children.

Oh my God, that looks so good on you.

Thank you.

So, I really like this one.

I think it's great.

Let me try this.

Sarah!

What?

I felt a kick.

Come on.

Where?

Here.

Oh, wow.

Isn't that the best feeling?

It's amazing.

I have to call the boys.

To a healthy baby.

To a good, strong boy.

Here, here.

Why not a girl?

Sure.

What are we gonna do with a girl?

Love her.

Yeah, love her.

We can protect her from people like you.

Hey, girls adore their fathers.

Good point.

Yeah, but what am I gonna do with a girl?

Take her to the ballet?

I mean, at least with a boy you can take him to the game, you know?

You can give him a noogie.

Yeah, but girls are more affectionate.

And manipulative.

Ooh.

Well, to a healthy and happy baby.

To a healthy and happy baby.

Boy.

Hey, where's Walter?

Yeah, where is Walter?

Nancy.

Wait up.

I need to talk to you.

What?

What do you want?

I told you I don't want to see you anymore.

Look, look.

I'm a lying piece of shit.

I...

Look, I... I just... Okay, what?

Just spit it out, Walter.

Look, I cheated on you.

I am so sorry.

I am so... I am so... I am so sorry.

Please.

I... I... Why are you telling me this now?

Because I love you.

And I want you back.

And I miss you.

I miss you so much.

And I... And this whole thing has made me realize how much I miss you.

I... I...

Are you still seeing that other woman?

Yes.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Not really.

No.

What do you mean, not really?

Well, I mean...

Here's the... Here's the... The... The thing is that she's, um...

What?

She's pregnant.

Oh!

You are a piece of shit!

I can't believe you!

You come here to tell me you want a baby.

You want me back?

You got another woman pregnant?

Shut up!

The baby might not even be mine, for God's sake!

You're sick, Walter!

Okay?

You are sick!

You need help!

No.

I don't... Listen, it's complicated.

There's like a hundred... There's other men involved.

And there's people... Look, can we get a cup of coffee somewhere?

No, no.

We can't get a cup of coffee.

We're not going to have breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Walter, listen to me.

It is over.

I don't want to see your lying face ever again.

Got it?

Over!

Listen, Nancy... And don't follow me!

Nancy, there's just a... Stay!

Stay!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the

feature event of our annual Kingsley Regatta.

Gentlemen, senior fours, you have ten minutes to launch your shell.

I've been trying to call Walter all night.

I have no idea where he is.

I can't believe you.

He'll be here.

Christ, Walter.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Are you alright?

It's just... Kimberly, are you alright?

I'm fine.

Here.

Do you want a glass of water or something?

No.

Do you want to sit down?

Uh-uh.

Finally, he's here.

Where the hell have you been?

Yeah, where the hell have you been?

I don't want to talk about it.

Like, shit.

Hey, what happened to you?

Strong finish.

Presenting the senior men's four without contract... Take care of her.

...a 2,000-meter race... We're going to be first to cross.

...with four teams achieving the grand final.

The Leopard crew was last year's winner and are far and

away predicted to win the Kingsley Senior Four Regatta.

Hey, it looks like you guys are doing a little hanky-panky, huh?

Who's that?

Who the hell asked you?

So who humped her?

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

There's two crews.

Hey, hey.

That's some kind of way of greeting each other.

Get off!

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen.

You've got three minutes.

Hey, hey.

Gentlemen.

Get out of here, you kid.

I could use you as a piece of shit.

The Musketeers, a heel crew... Oh, yes.

...who have been untested throughout this year so far are in lane number one.

The Leopards were first, as we said in last year's Regatta.

Just take your ass.

I don't.

You'll see them in lane number two.

The Sharks who are close,

will love to say, as their signs show... They do it better on the water.

We'll be in lane four.

Crews seem to be ready.

All hands are down.

The wind is somewhat calmer now.

Gentlemen, this will be the start.

Lane one, brake.

Lane two, brake.

Lane three, brake.

Lane four, brake.

And go!

Out of the starting platform, we have a beautiful start.

Almost even.

Right on.

Yeah.

Come on, come on, baby.

The leopards have started to move out, with the sharks and turtles close behind.

Come on, come on.

Who's that?

Kimberly?

Come on!

Let's go!

Well, folks, the musketeers are really moving now.

Great energy, folks, great energy.

The musketeers have put in a new battery.

Power generation!

The turtles are just past the 250-meter marker, and

the musketeers are fighting their way to close to even.

The musketeers seem to be pulling ahead.

They're climbing ahead.

Yes, yes, the finish flag is coming up.

It's down!

Yeah!

The leopards are beside themselves, one of them's swearing, the other's crying.

They're crushed by this.

Yes!

This is an upset, ladies and gentlemen.

You have just witnessed the upset of the river here.

Hey!

Don't leave!

Open the door!

No, no, open the door, open the door!

Is it Kimberly?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Guys, what are you doing?

Hey!

Oh, my God, I'm so scared.

We thought you were in the ambulance.

Are you okay?

I'm so scared.

Is that a little baby spider?

Baby spider?

Yes, of course.

Who's in the ambulance?

It's a lady.

It's a lady.

That lady fainted.

She fainted?

Yeah!

Congratulations!

Fantastic!

We won!

We won!

We won!

We won!

We won!

We won!

We won!

We won!

This doesn't work.

You guys, I want to know what's going on.

Three minutes.

Three minutes.

I could really have some.

I'm switching from rum to champagne.

Here.

That's going to hurt in the morning, Walter.

That's for me.

This is good, he should keep going.

Have we come out of any names?

Have we?

No.

Not yet.

I told you that Eddie would wear a girl's bow.

Yeah.

It's a good day.

Okay.

William Mays.

William.

Yeah, that's good.

What about Amadeus?

For a girl?

Amadeus.

He won't get beat up in school.

This'll fool for you.

Um, to friendship.

To friendship.

And love.

To love.

And to prosperity.

Yes.

To prosperity.

To old friends and new adventures.

Yes.

To my prostate.

I, um, I would, um, like to thank you all.

On behalf of both of us, for the last few months I didn't

think that I would ever meet four men quite like you.

Nor did I think I would ever have a baby like this.

Four times the love... and four times the complications.

Anyway, to the new year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

So, if you're happy with everything, Mr. Erickson,

I'd like to start at the beginning of the month.

Fine with me.

Is this the Miguel residence?

I see.

El señor no es en la casa.

Yes, Melissa.

Edgar Allan Poe was indeed found drunk, dead and beaten on a Baltimore street.

I'm going to be in Boston for Puma on the 16th and the 17th.

Yo hablo poquito un espanolo.

Tres años.

You'd prefer that I speak in English.

I think something is wrong.

There's nothing wrong with this house, Michael.

No, I mean something is wrong with my friend.

My girl, my girlfriend.

Oh, my God.

Okay, we're going to resume class next...

Okay, we'll resume next week on the...

The Raven.

The Raven.

Next... Hang on a second.

Hello.

I'm going to be right there.

Oh, it's D-Day.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Is everything all right?

Everything's great.

Very busy.

Wow, she's popping.

She's popping.

It is delivery.

Delivery?

My chihuahua's having puppies.

Oh, yeah?

Can I have one?

I could really use a dog.

You know what?

Two of them are spoken for, but if there's a third, you'll be the first to know.

The golden count is...

Remember to breathe!

Okay, okay.

This is it.

This is it.

Baby, can you make it to the front door?

Hurry up.

Okay.

Breathe, breathe.

Two more turns.

Come in.

Here I come.

Okay, good.

Okay.

I'm here!

Baby!

Breathe, breathe.

I'm at the gate.

I'm at the steps.

Okay.

Oh, baby.

Hands off!

I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry!

All right, Kimberly!

Honey, Kimberly, are you okay?

Are you all right?

Hi.

We're having a baby.

She's having a baby.

We're here to see Dr. Tannenbaum.

Dr. Tannenbaum has the flu.

Dr. Feinstenberger is replacing him.

Dr. Feinstenberger?

Who the hell is Dr. Feinstenberger?

I don't want no strange doctor working on my wife.

I'm not your wife!

Dr. Feinstenberger is a great doctor.

I'm sure he is.

How far along are your contractions?

Three, four... Yeah, three, four.

Okay, we're gonna take her down to the triage room and examine her.

Okay.

He better be good.

What's going on?

What happened?

She's in the triage.

In the where?

In the triage.

Jesus Christ, what the hell happened?

I need a fucking car.

How do I look?

Not bad.

You're not looking so good.

Now last night?

She alright?

Yeah she's fine.

she's in the triage.

Hey, hey, hey!

Is it a boy?

No, no, no, I don't know.

She's in the triage.

What are you doing withĩ Should I get us when she-I got donuts.

I got glaze.

Jelly.

I got sprinkles.

She is here.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Dr. Feinstenberger.

Your patient is on her way.

Dr. Feinstenberger, your patient is on her way.

Hey!

Excuse me, we need to get in there.

She's pregnant.

All right, easy.

I'm doctor Feinsteinberger.

I'm covering for doctor Tan.

Who's the father?

I am.

Who's the father?

Well, we all are.

Dr. Perlangma better turn around her spirit.

Spirial fathers.

We'll need four sets of The scrubs!

Gentlemen, the changing room.

To the changing room.

All right.

Go on.

To the changing room.

To the changing room.

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Don't worry about us.

Come on.

Hurry up.

This way.

This way.

You guys!

Come on!

OK.

How are you doing, Kimberly?

Great.

Ready to push?

Yeah.

Doc, can we get an epidural, please?

But she doesn't need an epidural.

Just relax.

Is there anything else we can do to help?

I could leave.

Michael, just hold her hand.

Maybe I should read a poem or something.

Yeah, a poem's good.

Would you like some music?

No music.

All right.

Get ready to push.

A poem is a good idea.

A poem's a good idea.

Here we go.

Ready to push.

Yes.

Push it down and away.

Down and away.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush.

Hush Breathe, breathe, breathe.

That's right, that's right.

Breathe.

That's a girl.

Again, again.

And again.

Push!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Breathe!

That's great.

Good, good, good.

I see something here.

I want to see something.

What is that?

Wow!

Don't look there.

What are you doing?

Sorry.

Okay, okay.

Stay in the drive there.

Strong at the finish.

Ready?

Push!

Push, push, push.

Push, push, push.

It's coming.

I see a hen.

Push, push, push.

It's a boy.

It's a boy!

It's a boy!

It's a boy!

It's a boy!

Gentlemen!

What?

It's a boy.

It's a boy.

It's a boy.

Excuse me, how can you tell that it's a boy?

Are you kidding me?

Take a look at the size of its wiener!

Who's gonna cut the cord?

Who's that?

Uh, Michael, I think you better do it.

Yeah, I'll do it.

Between the clips.

Good job, Molly.

Hey, Doc, congratulations.

Good work.

It's a Cuban.

Take a look at the little lady's man.

How you doing?

How you doing?

He's got my eyes.

Look at him.

He's got my smile.

He's the spinning image of me.

What?

Doctor, Doctor, would you mind taking a picture of us?

Guys?

Yeah, we wouldn't want to miss this.

Alright, everybody.

Look here.

Happy faces.

You're all a bunch of daddies.

Look.

A little print.

It's you.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You know, right now, I wish we hadn't made love.

Just so I knew what it was like to be our own father.

If it weren't for you, I...

I don't think the others would have been so supportive.

Why were you so adamant you wanted me to have this baby?

Because I care about you.

And because I care about the guys.

Look, whatever happens now, I'd, uh, really

like to be a part of you in the baby's lives.

You already are.

What do you think of the name Alex?

I like it.

It was my father's.

What is it?

It's a blanket.

It started out as a sweater, but then it kind of became a blanket once leaving it.

It's an original.

I made it myself.

I love it.

Oh, um...

There's a little bit of a...

Oh, jeez.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

No, it's fine.

Oh, here, I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

Fun for the whole family.

Got milk.

I guess you gotta get used to that kind of stuff when you're a dad.

Can't believe I'm a dad.

You think you're the father?

Yeah, I thought there was a chance.

I mean, when you told me you were pregnant, I thought you were, you know,

asking my permission if, you know, what I... No.

No?

Well, then that night after the bar, when we went back to my place, we didn't, uh.

..

No!

Oh.

Oh.

Well, so it wasn't because I, uh...

No.

Just, uh...

So what happened?

You passed out.

Are you...

relieved?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's...

I feel great.

I mean, I guess.

I guess I was starting to get used to the idea.

Well...

I guess I can still take little Alex to a ball game once in a while, right?

Yeah, I think he'd like that.

Thank you for the encyclopedias.

You're welcome.

Are you sure I'm not the father?

Yes.

I should have told you, but you didn't give me a chance.

You're right.

You know, I've spent my whole life...

hidden in books.

I hurt Nancy, and I hurt you.

I'm sorry.

Are you and Nancy back together?

I'm afraid she doesn't want me back.

You must love her very much.

Just give her some time.

Are you sure that's not my kid?

He brought us from the hallway.

Do you see how beautiful they are?

Look.

Hi.

Do you see these flowers?

They're for you.

And I thought they were for me.

Those are for you and your mommy.

I should put them in some water.

Here, hold Alex.

Okay.

Give me a hug.

There you go.

I'm going to go put the flowers in a vase.

Hi.

Thank you.

Come on in.

Sit down.

Hi, little guy.

Hi there.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Yeah, look.

Hi.

That's okay.

That's okay.

Yeah.

Is that me?

Ah.

Baby.

Mommy is a lady.

Daddy.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Sure you are.

Is it better for you?

Little guy, it's okay.

It's okay, yeah.

Little guy, it's okay.

I came here so I could talk to you.

Well, let me make it easier for you.

I, um...

I don't want you to feel obligated.

I mean, I really needed the support throughout the pregnancy, but I...

but I feel as though I can... Hey.

I think you got it wrong.

You see, from the beginning, I've been trying to tell you how I feel about you.

And I realize that I've been awkward and not very convincing.

But it has been a very unusual situation, to say the least.

And I've been...

very confused.

I'm sorry.

I don't say that.

Because in a way, it's really been helpful.

I...

You know, I can finally admit that I am one of those

people who's always looking for the perfect picture.

And in the end, I came to realize what really matters is how I feel about you.

And how you feel about me, of course.

I love you, Kimberly.

And what greater proof of love can I give you than to tell

you that I love you after everything we've been going through?

I love you.

And I love this baby like it was my own.

Michael, are you sure?

You don't believe me?

I just wanted to be sure that you, um...

that you wanted to have this baby.

What are you saying?

He's your son, Michael.

He could only be yours.

Really?

Who are you?

Louise?

Louise, yeah.

I like Louise.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Would you think that's swell?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thank you.