Original subtitles

I... - Whatchawant?

You see her face? Do you?

...know who did that? Arthur Mailion.

Me flat, Nick. It's been bugged.

Are you in on this, you little bich.

What do you mean they are on to me?

I've got a lawyer, myself, and three other people.

all waiting to eliminate someone called `Pig' Mailion.

You're not going to like the look of your face no more.

It's like being in a... in some sort of story.

And it's gone all wrong.

Exterior stop

police car comma

pre hyphen dawn London streets stop

Screaming urban urgency

Good morning, Friday.

How many more fridays?

DANIEL WALTER FEELD OF FLAT 26

4: Friday

(1) I APPOINT MY LITERARY AGENT BENJAMIN JOHN BAGLIN

OF SLOPEGATE STREET LONDON

... and I declare that in this is wy mill...

Damn Blast! And Bugger!

`PIG' MAILION SEES THE JOKE! - Oh my God

HOW ABOUT THIS `GEEZER' FOR A CHARACTER! WORK ON IT!

If you don't want to answer the bloody phone,

why don't you keep the bloody answer thing bloody switched on!

Ma. Ma! Language. - What do you think it does to my head! Eh!

Ring... ring... ring... bloody... ring! - All right. All right!

I was on a difficult bit of the cross lattice, Ma.

Don't you know the tucking fime! - It's me, Daniel.

Daniel! It's practicaly the dead of night. - Ben, stop it.

It's not nearly the dead of night. I've just switched off my desk lamp.

And I had this feeling you'd be up and about doing some work.

What do you mean doing some work? - Reading scripts.

Scripts, yes. True, true. I do try to catch up in these early hours.

Awful lot of words, Daniel, and an awful lot of those not particularly good, I'm afraid.

You have the patience of Job. You work too hard. - Yes, I know.

Still, have to earn a crust, dear boy. - Listen.

I found an old clipping with a photograph of the real 'pig' Mailion.

You what? - I must have cut it out, put it aside,

and thought no more about it. But yes, mea culpa, mea culpa, no doubt about it.

It's in front of me now, the clipping.

This real bloke Mailion meeting the Queen Mum at the Rorhman Charity Gala.

And, yes, even the paper calls him `Pig' Mailion... so, Jesus,

I'm legally speaking in a bit of a pickle...

Yes? As I signed the document I'm responsible?

You signed the document, yes, so yes,

technically you are at fault dear boy, but...

Ma! Keep away from it! Do you hear me! Ma!

Oh, cease. Cease. - Sorry about that.

Technically, yes, I was saying, but I shouldn't worry about it moo tuch...

Ma!

Ben... ?

You'll get your desserts for this, my lad, just you see if you don't.

Frightening your poor old mother in such a barbarous, barbarous manner!

Mother, I didn't want to... but I thought you might accidentally stumble into the...

I don't often think of you, Daniel, but you should occasionally bless the day

you had any blood relatives.

Now... the important thing is to destroy and totally forget the `Pig'Mailion cutting

or whatever it is. You never saw it. You never heard his name.

But I obviously caused a lot of trouble, and if it leads to...

Anna's been useful for once. She went through the name mentions...

Did I get that right? Mame nentions?

Thank goodness for that... And after all those truly amazing scenes yesterday evening,

and the rapprochement... in entente cordial...

well... she and I had a chittle lat, and everything can be sorted out,

I got it signed by that you go to your office

before you so kindly take me to the hospital for the biopsies...

Well, they're the two witnesses I can drum up at the moment.

He's pulling me in. Go past him a little bit, eh? - OK, Dean.

I'll try and see what sort of place it is...

It's a sort of Reception just inside the door, with a girl there...

What's she look like? - Nothing too much. I couldn't see her legs.

That's the first place to look. - Oh, Christ, Sean... You're always fucking tired.

Yawning you head off. - That's because I know the first place to look.

I said I wanted to know where Mr Mick Bamber was...

And she said, No, there's no Bamber... She was looking down this list...

Balmer... she says... Cutting Room 14... Nick Balmer.

No, no, I got this thing to be signed and I can't afford no silly mistakes, can I?

Lot she could care. Anyway, that's where he is.

Cutting room 14, whatever that is.

It's where they make the sandwiches, Dean. - What?

Oh... shut up, willya! The point is...

The point is Arthur'll fry our balls if we wake him before hlf-past eight.

Let's just make sure that that's where the bugger is when we want to find him.

Cutting Room 14.

I bloody hate this sort of job. Don't you?

Yes? Who is it?

How do you know 'e's 'ere?

Oh. All right then. 'Ang on. 'S for you Arfur.

Strewth... what's the bloody time?

Whatchawant?

Which one of you is... Oh Dean. Yeah?

Fuck me, I wish you two'd fucking sort your fucking selves out.

I mean, you sound like fucking Minnie Mouse and you're as big as the side of bleed'n Buckingham Palace

and wasname the fucking shrimp comes across like Paul Robertson wiv a bad cold!

Sorry, guv. The point is, guv, he's just up the road from us in this building

and he's been there since ten to eight this morning...

so it looks like he's going to stay there, don't it?

And we got to know what... - Can you get in there? Can you get to him?

Well, then. That's what you do, right?

Only you don't say no names, no names at all, got it?

And you don't answer no questions, got it?

And I don't want nobody going too far.

Hold off on the last bit of bootin' and don't do it in the froat. Right?

When? When you fink the coast is clear.

When you fink it's the right time, dickhead!

Just make sure he gets the fucking message!

Linda!

Hey, Nick! Early, aren't we?

What? - Man! Your eye!

I must admit it's a bit sore...

and I couldn't find my sunglasses...

Thought all film directors had them round their neck on a silver chain.

But at least I can see out of it...

My God, that mad bugger really does pack a punch!

What have we here?

I think I've been barking up the wrong skirt, Ian.

The lassie? - Aye. The lassie.

So... you've been reassembling? - Oh, only a rough go...

That's for you, Ian. Of course.

But only to show how it might be if I took the quote obsession unquote out of the lens, so to speak.

and left it in Oliver's head... the old man's head...

As Daniel no doubt meant.

Well... let's have a gander, then. - Just take it back a bit...

Stop worrying your sweet little arse about it, willya?

C'mon, sit down.

Look, I know we've had our differences, but I fought it was all sorted out.

Come on... give us a kiss, angel.

I could do wiv some affection, couldn't I?

Listen, Pete.

He's done a lot for me, enne? I mean...

I mean I wouldn't be nuffink if he... - That's a load of crap, and you know it.

Yeah. But look what he give me. Look what he already give me, that old bloke.

Number One.

That's the first rule of life, pigeon. Christ!

Yeah? But who is number one, Peter?

Sandra, what you trying to say?

I don't know. - What you mean, you don't know?

All what I know is...

All I know is people keep trying to put words in my mouth.

Stop it there. - Right.

It needs more subtlety than I can manage in the cutting, but...

Nick. It's a million times better, letting him so much more into...

Are you lost? Can I help you?

Which one of you is Nick Balmer?

Who are you? What's it to you? - God.

You've got a right shiner there.

We have this thing to talk about with Mr Balmer.

What thing? - Are you him?

And what if I am? - Yeah. It is you. Wasn't sure from the car.

Car? What car? - Got a lot of questions, isn't he?

That how you got the black eye? Asking one too many?

Look... what's all this about? - We're very busy, y'know?

It's about that unfinished business involving a young lady and her landlord,

a Mr Beasley.

Are you... um...

is one of you Beasley? - Come on, do we look like Beasleys?

This is not exactly the place to talk... - If it's private, I'll...

No, no. But... um...

There's not very much to talk about anyway, so?

Mr Beasley seems to think so. - And we think so, too.

There's a... Ian? Isn't there... A sort of empty office space or something at the end of...

Top end of corridor from the main door, yes.

It's only got a wee table and a couple of chairs in it.

That sounds just the right place, and private too.

You're quite right, sir. Being private is better.

And there isn't all that much to say.

Write it on a postcard, you could.

You can deconstruct the brasserie stuff as a start, Ian...

in the way you always wanted, OK? - Sure, Nick.

Nick!

I'm just going to the spare office down here...

Ian's there. We've made big decisions!

Good. OK.

Thanks. - See you in a minute.

He was here early, wasn't he?

I tell you... early and bright...

That man has seen the light! An overnight conversion.

A revelation. There's no other word for it.

A smack in the eye can work wonders now and again!

Now for the liver. - Oo. Ta.

Take in some breath.

Not quite so much.

That's it. Hold it!

One little...

That is the message, old son.

The next one will be a fucking sight worse, if there is a next one.

So listen... Listen!

I'm... listening... - Call of your dogs.

You leave a certain party out of it. Understand?

Understand? - Yes.

Miss Solars? Is it? - Ye-ah... ?

Ah, yes. As lovely as Daniel promised you'd be... - Daniel wasname?

Well. He's a bleed'n fief, you tell him from me!

He's pinched something of mine right from under my bloody nose!

The gun. Yes. - What do you know about it? What's going on?

Who are you anyway? I'm busy.

I'm Ben, Ben Baglin. I'm Daniel's agent.

You what? - Well... I sort of... look after his interests and I...

Deliver his messages.

No, it's not quite like... But in this case, yes.

It's for your mear dother. - Me what?

Your... A gift from Daniel. Your... mother?

Oh! Me mum! - And good, good... good news!

Well. You better come in then.

`No one can know what will happen from one moment to the next in a cyberspace,

not even the spacemaker.

Every moment gives every participant an opportunity to create the next event.'

Do it all the time!

Sorry... ? - Blood pressure.

But you did it just a... - Every quarter of an hour for the first few hours.

Make sure you're not bleeding inside.

Well, I am bleeding inside.

`Whereas film is used to show a reality to an audience,

cyberspace is used to give a virtual...

Cyberspace is used to give a virtual body, and a role, to everyone in the audience.

Print and radio tell.

Stage and film show.

Cyberspace embodies... '

It's not got a lot of sky in it... - Oh, dear. I'm sorry...

No, no. That's good. - And it's a very nice building whatever it is.

Yes. Isn't it! It's Notre Dame in Paris. I chose it when Daniel asked me to get a jigsaw to...

Made of wood. That's not one of yer cheap ones, then.

What's this Daniel up to? Eh?

I'm only here as his... his representative and

I'm not sure myself... - I mean, that fing might be wood and all that

and Mum's pleased. Entcha? - What?

Pleased. Entcha? - Don't know yet, do I?

Only it ent worth what he took. You tell him I want it back! Or else!

Do you mind if I dit sown? - If you want.

Oh, sit... yes... sorry. Sit down.

Thank you very much. Now...

I've been instructed by Daniel to... eh... show you this,

and to read some particular part out loud to you.

What is it?

I, Daniel Walter Feeld of flat 26 Stedwood House

Coledown Street London W1H 7DF,

hereby revoke all former wills and testamentary instruments made by me

and declare this to be my last will.

There! I've got three of 'em joined up already!

This is a good 'un! A real good 'un!

You're saying... I'm very glad.

You're saying that what you got there is that bloke's will?

Correct. - Why? What for?

Because you are to be a beneficiary, on certain conditions.

What you talking about? - Look Sanny... they fit so nice.

Better than that cardboard stuff, ennit? - Yes, Mum! Course it is.

You mean he's leaving me something? Is that what you're saying?

Yes.

Why? - Look, I have to say, in all honesty

that everything , every single thing about this whole situation, troubles me a great deal.

In the first place, I find that what Dan is proposing to do is so odd

that it would certainly be challenged in the courts if he had any family.

And in the second... - Does he? Got family?

No. - No wife, no kids, nothing?

No. His parents died fairly young. His brother...

and it was his twin brother, by the way...

well, he committed suicide five years ago... - Gawd.

And although he was once to be married,

something dreadful happened just a week or so wefore the bedding...

I'm hardly sure what. He never let's one talk about it.

He's left some... ah... legacies here and there,

including to my... ah... unworthy self...

very very generous... but... ah... as for the bulk of his estate...

and Dan's built up a considerable... um... high earner over the years...

well, as to that, two-thirds he proposes to throw away

by donating the capital and it's income to a cryogenic organization...

Freep deeze. Deep freeze.

Watchewdothatfor?

I have this impediment that occasionaly makes me reverse successive consonants.

Oh, dear.

So he's going to leave a lot to some bleed'n deep-freeze outfit, is he?

The sort that freezes human bodies.

It was something his brother Christopher was working on

That's the link, I suppose.

The point is that the other third he proposes to put into trust

for the benefit of you and your mother.

We're talking a mot of lo... a lot of money here.

Ah yes... but how bloomin' old is he? How long's he got, sir?

That none of us knows. And there are certain conditions.

You mean... there's a catch?

Now look, Sandra. - No, you look.

It's not as though you got to keep on doing it with him, now, is it?

Don't want to do it with him at all, fanks very bleedin'n much!

I mean, Christ... I mean

it's not as though you haven't done it often enough before.

What do you mean?

Oh, come on, angel.

You've had more bonks wiv more blokes than I've had bleedin' Weetabix.

Now look! I've hardly ever never done it for the...

No! Not for the money!

I didn't like the look of them.

Perhaps I'd better go and see?

I... well, it might be important business of some kind, though I...

I'll come with you.

Nick. Oh, my God.

Shit.

Tidy.

Nick! Oh Nick. We´ve got to get you to hospital...

Tidy.

What are you trying to say, Nick?

Got to... tidy me up. Seeing Ruth.

Hoad rog!

I'm afraid people... or, rather men...

become altogether a different kind of animal when on the Queen's Highway. Mmm?

Yeah.

We didn't talk for long. I don't know the bloke, hardly at all.

This is weird. Ennit?

Yes. It is, rather.

Is this visiting hours? I mean, they'll let me in to where he is?

He has his own room. - Blimey.

So he can receive visitors at any time.

He's not really going to die. Is he? Not reeely.

I jolly well hope not!

So do I! He seemed a real nice bloke.

A bit... well, sort of... No. A nice bloke.

But what's he got then? What's wrong with him?

That's what they're establishing. They're finding out. It...

oh dear, oh dear. I'm afraid it does seem rather serious.

I'm trying to be as gentle as I can, Nick. - I know, I know...

But you're still going to look pretty dreadful, you know.

I just... if it could be toned down a bit...

You don't even know for sure that you haven't broken anything...

No. I haven't. No.

And if you don't see the doctor, and you won't inform the police,

then you're going to be very compromised when it comes to the film insurance people.

If you could find us some more plaster and put it here?

Sure. - I'm very grateful to you. Both.

Ooch, you'll be needing more than face powder and sticking plasters.

She'll think you've been hit by a lorry.

That's a good idea. - What?

That's what I'll tell her.

Time is always the most...

any such prognosis, oddly enough, is always based on...

well, on precedent, on what usually happens.

We always need to look into the past to read the future.

That's why I've got a crick in my neck.

Well, you should certainly think in terms of getting your affairs in order.

Yes. Thank you.

And if there is anything of especial urgency that you've been wanting to do... ?

I am about to write a screenplay. About virtual reality and cryogenics.

A frozen head, you know...

medical students type, I suppose one might say.

And how long does it take you? This scribble-scribble-scribble?

About twelve weeks, and a bit.

I usually reckon on eighty-eight days.

Any chance of putting the final full stop in place?

I mean, there's not at all that much point in saying,

getting two thirds of the way through.

I don't get paid per line or per page, more the pity.

I couldn't guarantee that you would be able to finish.

I see.

Well. Perhaps something a bit shorter. With a nice and easy plot.

There's an old favourite, for example, about who it is you would kill

and help out humanity if you had, say, only, say...

eight weeks and a bit, more or less, to go...

Yes. I've often wondered who I'd execute if in such circumstance.

Apart from the Secretary of State for Healt, of course.

Of course.

Yes. I would say that such a plot was...

about right.

A couple of months. Yes?

I'm sorry.

Why are you laughing?

I don't honestly know, to tell you the truth.

I mean, it's not funny.

When all these dreadful pains began...

I mean, at the same time as they started to burn me up...

I was kind of, well, going a bit dippy.

I thought that a story I had written had somehow got out into the world.

like a contagious disease. My words, my script,

wandering about... out there in front of me.

But no. They aren't, thank God.

There's been another story going on all the time.

This one. The one I didn't know about.

It's just that... well, the ending is sooner than I thought.

We're all in a kind of drama, perhaps. In which each one of us is centre-stage... ?

I always used to tell myself a story

when I was in pain or in fear as a child,

and make believe I was in the middle of this kind of book...

The one bright boo!... !

In which there was a shape, a meaning, and a good ending.

Yes.

Yes. When I can tidy up all the loose bits and bobs,

tie up all the loose ends, find the shape of it...

Yes. That's what I'll do.

I can also do a damned good imitation of Bing Crosby, by the way.

I'm back in charge of my own story. I can take control of it now.

I've got it back into my own hands and my own words.

I know what to do now.

Good man.

Starting to throw things!

Gawd. What money can do, eh? - Yes.

The root of all evil.

In you go, then.

No, you first.

Gadies before lentlemen.

I'd recognize that voice anywhere! Come in! Come!

Signora. Please. I help you?

Balmer table. Nicholas Balmer. - Ah, si. Si! ...

This way, Signora. I'm afraid... This way please.

Good Lord. Nick. What on earth... ?

Delivery van. Outside the cutting rooms.

It backed so close up this little space as I very stupidly tried to cros the same space on foot...

It was only a couple of inches... but... bam!

Nick... oh, you look dreadful. Are you sure there's nothing broken?

Nothing. - But, darling, you should at least be lying down, or...

Really, you shouldn't have come! - I wanted you to come, Ruth.

That's why I rang you so early from the flat...

And you didn't sound quite right, then. Nick, what is it?

I so badly wanted you to come. And I especially wanted you to come here.

Why here? I've never been here before, or...

No. But I have.

Nick?

I've been here...

oh, fifteen or sixteen times... at least...

with young Miss Langer.

Linda?

Linda Langer. My star.

Or, at least, my leading lady.

Go on. - When you've ordered.

Nick... - Order first. Please.

Oh, melon... No, no starter

No starter?

No. Pollo Milanese and a green salad.

Very good. Any vegetables? - No. That's it. Thank you.

Thank you, signora. Signor?

No starter. - No starter?

No. I'll have Fegato alla Veneziana. Some zuchini fritte. That's it.

The van was delivering cans of my own film.

I've been run over by my own story.

I don't believe you.

No?

No.

Some things, it doesn't matter.

Lies. Fibs. Stories. It doesn't matter at all.

But...

that's why I asked you to come here,

to where I had my discreet and cosy tête-a-tête with Linda.

When editing, that is. Around the corner.

I am speaking in the past tense.

And then, if there was time, which there sometimes was,

we used to take a taxi to her flat in Albert court.

And make love.

Lady Ruth? Is there... ? - Please. Sit still.

And say nothing until I say so.

Please, Thomas. Not a word.

Mr Bamber. What shall we... ?

Throw of the dice, Luigi.

And I lost.

Lady Ruth... I... - Please!

Home, James!

And don't spare the horses. - Sir!

And, eh... Daniel,

it mehoves be to say one tinal fime...

for God's sake think this thing through for just one tast lime!

Ben. Whenever you're upset your speech goes out of the window.

I have thought it through. From every angle.

Just you make sure the will is safe and that you do your level best to carry out my wishes.

The will is already in my solicitor's safe, Daniel.

All done up with rue blibbon.

Blue ribbon. - I'll see you tomorrow, Ben.

Tomorrow, Daniel. And... ah... take care!

Thanks, Ben.

I'll even go so far as to cake tare!

Funny sort of g... But you can see 'e likes you, can'tcha?

Can you? - Not 'arf. That twinkle behind them thick glasses!

But I can't seem to fiddle-faddle out what he was on about.

He was... eh...

trying to get me to change my mind.

Oh, I could see that. And it makes sense, too!

Oh? - Christ, you don't know me from Adam.

Or Eve. - Who?

Oh. Yeah. Ought to say Eve, being a woman, enn'I?

No doubt about it.

I want to say something about you and to you.

What?

Don't get worried or upset. I'm not going to jump on you or anything like that.

I don't want to offend you... but I must say something.

Blimey. You'd better say it then.

I'll tell you now what I didn't exactly or precisely lay on poor old Ben.

I have about eight weeks to live. - Oh-h!

So I have time enough and the world to tell you that you,

Sandra Sollars, you are utterly enchanting.

You are fresh air to me. I feel lifted up in your presence.

I once knew a young woman whom all the songs were about.

A green-eyed dazzler I met in a Forrestof Nead dance hall.

I've always carried her inside me, through thick and thin,

though she was killed before you were born.

Ever since...

Ever since, I've been sort of pulled to this or that girl,

but the song was always in the wrong key.

Leave it out, willya?

When I was staring and staring at you in that brasserie on... God,

was it only Tuesday night and this is Friday?

It seems years ago... - Tuesday, that's right.

I was with that bugger Peter. Last time an' all.

I stared and stared.

I know I was more than half-way nuts at the time,

what with the drink and the pain and the way I'd been feeling...

and even though I was putting my words-on-the-page into your mouth

I could still feel something else going on inside me...

things were stirring again. Feelings that had been dormant fot years!

Been what? - Asleep.

Oh.

And you woke me up. I... was... awakened.

But I hardly spoke a... - You woke a part of me

that knew the words but didn't know the song.

Of course I know as a sometimes rational man,

of course, of course it's physical, it's sexual, erotic...

'Ang out a minute...

And of course I'd like to lie beside you

and stroke you and hold you

and kiss you

and rhapsodize you...

What me?

Exactly.

Well. I could... um... I mean...

Do you want a hand job or something.. ?

You dear girl... You funny, funny little...

But that's only because I want to help you out. I mean, what's happening to you and all...

Christ, must be awful!

You don't really want to work in that place,

that Karaoke club or whatever it is. Do you?

Nah! You're supposed to offer yourself, you know.

Get 'em going. Champagne at three hundred pounds a bo'le and anyfink else on top.

But I usually get out of it. - Usually.

I get caught sometimes. But...

by then they're usually too pissed to...

I hate it! I hate the whole fucking world sometimes!

Sandra. Listen to me... - And where's my bleed'n gun!

I paid a lot for that! You nicked it... Where is it?

What would you like to do? What sort of work?

Manicure 'n' hairdressin'. - Then can't you?

I was! On this watchacallit... like apprentice.

Nice place 'n' all. They paid nothing, or nearly, but I loved it!

But me mum... she has these turns, you know,

and had to go to this place...

He did more than smash up her face, that cruel bugger,

he banged up her mind as well.

Anyway, it all fell few. And I... oh, I dunno...

I've got meself stuck, enn'I?

Like I'm...

like it's all... I dunno... useless.

Two conditions.

One, you don't go back to that karaoke place, or anything else like it, again...

not ever. Never!

Two, you take a proper course, apprenticeship or whatever it is called,

in this hairdressing, nail thing you like doing... No. Three conditions.

Forget about the gun, and everything it means.

Oh, yeah? And if pig 'ad wings. - In return...

you will get 2500 pounds a month for the rest of your life...

What?

And your mother will get 1000 pounds a month for as long as she needs it.

All of this will be set in place just as soon as possible.

Ben Baglin, dear Ben, the man who brought you here,

will make all the arrangements, him and his solicitor, Andrew Adam.

It'll all be safe. It'll all be guaranteed.

But here and now, Sandra, once and for all,

promise, solemnly promise to do and not do the things I said.

Promise! Promise!

I promise. I really bloody do!

And now you must go. - Go? Oh, but...

Everything is all right. Everything will be as I said it will be.

Come on. Stand up.

I... oh, my God... I don't know what to say.

Thank you! - Ah ah... it's OK... just a twinge, and a...

Look... somebody's coming along in about five minutes to shove something up my bum.

To what? - To help me, Sandra.

Everything is written down in here in clear way in a language you are sure to understand.

Ben's address, numbers, the amounts, how it'll be paid, oh, the whole lot. Take it.

Ta. Yes... I mean, thank you.

And Ben will talk to you on Monday. Go to his office...

He'll take you somewhere nice to lunch... - Will he?

And answer all your questions, or any you think of in the future.

And... Now... Not too tightly, please... Give us a kiss.

Oh, you darling!

Goodbye, Sandra.

But ent I going to see you again nor nuffink... ! - We'll see.

Goodbye, Sandra.

Goodbye, Daniel.

I'm still going to get that bugger though. You see if I don't!

There. That was fine.

We shan't be bothering you for the next eight hours now. A holiday!

Ta. - Your tablets are in this little box.

You take them now, or in the next few minutes. Yes?

Yes. Thank you. I will.

See you!

I'm still going to get that bugger though. You see if I don't!

Happy ending. Happy ending! Must write a happy...

Will there be any stars,

Any stars in my crown,

When at evening the sun goes down?

When I wake with the blest, In the Mansion of Rest,

Will there be any stars in my...

So keep repeating it's the berries

The strongest oak must fall

The sweet things in life

To you were just loaned

So how can you lose

What you've never owned?

Life is just a bowl of cherries

So live and laugh at it all!

Lovely. Lovely. OK. Let's have our next song...

I play the song, you sing the words, it's easy...

and it's fun! Come on, one of you gents!

Let's have a bit of English up there, eh?

I'm game. - You are? Here. Pick a good 'un.

I've always wanted to do this.

Number twenty-seven!

¶ A long time ago a million years BC

¶ The best things in life were absolutely free

¶ But no one appreciated

¶ A sky that was always blue

¶ And no one congratulated

¶ A moon that was always new

¶ That's what storms were made for

¶ And you shouldn't be afraid for...

¶ Every time it rains it rains

¶ Pennies from heaven.

¶ Don't you know each cloud contains

¶ Pennies from heaven.

¶ You'll find your future falling

¶ All over town

¶ Be sure that your umbrella

¶ Is upside down

¶ Trade them for a package of

¶ Sunshine and flowers

¶ If you want the things you love

¶ You must have showers

¶ So when you hear it thunder

¶ Don't run under a tree,

¶ There'll be pennies from heaven

¶ For you and me!

My goodness... ! That's what I call cash.

That's nothing. Nothing! Pocket money.

Know why they call me 'Pig'? 'Pig' Mailion?

Um. It doesn't sound very nice.

It's cos I like me dosh by the trough-load, fella!

Well, that's the... Sorry. Frog in my throat.

Nah. Not a frog.

You got gold in them tonsils, I'll tell you.

Now, listen, what you need is a good manager, somebody who'll...

Hey. What is this?

You need a few stars in your crown, Arthur.

....... Funshine and slowers

Who is it... ? - It's Daniel.

Dan... - Yes.

It's lucking fate, old boy! - Note the time!

Do what? - I said; note the time.

You called me, right? - Dan, what's going on?

Just do as I say. And then in... a...

In thirty-five minutes telephone my room in the hospital.

No... forty minutes. I'll be there.

It's called an alibi, old chum.

It's called a capital A alibi comma old chum full stop

capital initials.

The End full stop

And underline.

Subs edited by CINEMAAS.