All language subtitles for This.Is.Not.a.Murder.Mystery.S01E05.The.Gift.1080p.ALL4.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

Why did Sheila Legge
leave everything to Dali

instead of her only living relative,
Lord James?

Are you sure?

DC QUANT GASPS

Poor Sheila had to go
and leave him all her money.

This scandal will multiply

the value of the artwork
exponentially.

It's such a lot of work
for one person.

SHE SCREAMS

Mrs Magritte came face to face
with our clearly deranged murderer.

Stay out of my life.

Did you notice something strange
with him?

Sal did us right.

DCI THISTLETHWAITE GRUNTS

THUNK!

PHONE RINGS

Sir?

You called, DC Quant?

Yes. Do you know The Organ Inn,
Constable Sutcliffe?

It's the only pub in the village.

Right, um...

Go knock down there
and check for the DCI, please.

Yes, sir, ma'am.

Oh, and Constable?

Be discreet. Use the backroads.

SHE SIGHS

CHAINS CLINK

HE BREATHES UNSTEADILY

PHONE RINGS

DC Quant?

Superintendent Coney.

Sir?

Pass me on to your DCI.

Uh, we can't seem to find him, sir.

What do you mean, DC?

He told me last night
that he was going to the pub,

but he hasn't returned yet.
KNOCK ON DOOR

Doesn't sound like him.

SHE SIGHS

Sir,

two people have been killed here
in very theatrical ways.

This killer craves attention.

And now the DCI has gone missing.

I have a bad feeling, sir.

Right. I'm sending reinforcements.

Make sure the estate
stays firmly locked

and keep the press out.

HE GROANS

We don't need bad publicity.

A good result here, DC,

will put your position
at the Yard in good stead.

I just want to find him.

Then do exactly that, all right?

I will, sir.

I'll be supervising, DC.
We'll talk later.

HE GROANS

HE GASPS FOR AIR

SNORING SOFTLY

Come on. Hurry up.

Zone one - Manor House,

including servants' quarters
and terrace.

Zone two - lawns and park.

Zone three - woods and perimeter.

Zone four - lake.

I'll take one.

Peterson, two. Three, Davis.

Henderson, four. OK?

Yes.

Debrief at noon.

Anything comes up,
talk to me at once. Understood?

Yes.
And there's a killer on the loose.

So eyes peeled at all times.
OK?

SHE SNEEZES

Let's go, men.

Let's go.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Come on. Give me your hand.
All right.

What's going on?

I don't know, but I don't like it.

Hang on. Is everyone here?

All the important ones are.

Big day.

What do you mean, girl?

Well, two people got killed, right?

And now there is police everywhere.

All set.

Another death, you mean?

My God, I cannot take it anymore.

Who's missing then?

Where's Lee?

Relax, I'm not going anywhere.

That's the problem.

They're looking for something?
Or someone?

Who?

You do know this is the big day,
don't you, Detective?

Yes, My Lord, but...

Some of the world's richest
and most influential people

are on their way
at this very moment.

Do you understand
how important this is?

Yes, but two people...

I asked your boss to get this over
with by this morning at the latest.

And now I watch on
as a small army invades my estate.

We can't find him, My Lord.

That's the problem exactly.

Not the killer. Not just yet.
I mean...

SHE SNIFFS

Uh...

My superior.

It seems the DCI can't be found,
My Lord.

SHE SNIFFS

Oh, good Lord.
We're looking for him.

SHE SNEEZES

This thing needs to be sorted
by 4pm sharp. Got it?

I'll do my best, My Lord.
Forget your best.

Do what's necessary.
Good luck, Detective.

Let's stay calm.
Be strong together.

Well, said.

We're all just excited
for the big night.

By sunrise, we'll probably
be all rich.

Exciting.

Not now, man.
Please, have a sense of decorum.

Quant! DC Quant!

Sorry, do you have a minute?

Is it important, Magritte?

I went through my agent's suitcase.

I found an English phone number
on the brochure

of one of my first paintings,
The Lovers.

The one that was at
the first murder scene. Right.

Did you ring the number?

So I did.

Somebody picked up
but nobody answered.

So I identified the number.

And it's the lobster phone
in Monkton House.

So? So I'm thinking...

...if ELT had contact
with someone over here,

this might be a connection
to the killer. Right?

Wait, are you saying that your agent
is the killer's assistant?

Unintentionally, maybe, yeah.

All right, I'll deal with it.

But I have to deal with this first.
I have a lot to deal with.

DC Quant?

What?

Am I right in saying
the DCI has gone missing?

Is it that obvious?

Don't tell anyone, Magritte, please.

My nerves are stretched
as it is.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Over here.

WHISTLE BLOWS

I'm coming. I'm coming.

We've found something.

Easy.

It's a body.

CONSTABLES TALK INDISTINCTLY

Terrible state.

Well, this is definitely not
the DCI.

No.

So then, who is this?

I don't know.

It looks like it's been in
the water for a while.

Bring the remains
back down to the cellar

and ask Dr Fine
to check the dental records.

Continue the search.

Search harder. Yes, ma'am.

Shouldn't we...

I mean, you... tell the group?

SHE PANTS

Yeah. Come on then.

You might have noticed
some activity around the estate.

Are you kidding me?

Let her speak, Man.

I just wanted to let you know that
we have everything under control.

Who's missing then?

Um...

We can't locate
DCI Thistlethwaite.

ALL CLAMOUR
What?

OVERLAPPING CHATTER

So the man who's solving these
killings got killed?

No, I didn't say he got killed.
We just can't locate him right now.

Yeah, but you don't know
he hasn't been killed?

OK, let's not panic. I mean,

DCI Thistlethwaite is not
a young man any more.

He probably just had a fall, OK?

We will find him.

Oh, Rene Magritte,
Belgian detective.

Just what we need right now.

She's right.

Shouldn't we leave detective work
to the actual detectives?

There are certainly
still enough of them about.

Scotland Yard is still
the only authority on site.

And you're still being watched.
Remember that.

Jesus. Do you still think
that we're the murderers?

I don't. Not necessarily,

I just don't want you
to become the victims.

I understand you've all been
very afraid during this time.

You're right. I'm afraid.

Mortally.

I'm petrified.

Oh.

I see burning stones.
There, at the window.

Hey, hey. Look at me, look at me,
look at me. Take a deep breath.

I don't feel well hyperventilating.
Sit down, Salva. Sit down.

I need space. I need space.

HE PANTS

Whoa!

That was a lot of melodrama.
Even for him.

It's easy to panic if you've got
something to hide

and the walls are closing in.

I don't trust anyone any more.
Except for you.

Hold on, my friend.

SHE SIGHS

I am not your friend, Magritte.
And they're right.

You are not the police.

Yeah? Yes, of course.

Why don't you go talk to your wife?

She seems like the only normal one
out of the lot of you.

What are you doing, amor?

First of all, don't call me amor.

And second of all,

I am leaving, that's what I'm doing.

You can't.

There is police everywhere,
and the gates are locked.

I don't care. I don't care, Gala.

The man who is supposed
to sort out this mess went missing.

This is no place
for a reasonable person to stay.

There is not a single reasonable
person here. Let alone you.

I've had enough.

I'm not staying here
one more minute.

SHE GASPS

Let me come with you.

Don't you get it?
I never want to see you again.

Why can't you act normal for once?

Sir, sir.

No, no, no.
The press are out there, sir.

What can you tell us
about what's going on inside?

ALL CLAMOUR

Is it true there've been
several murders?

Look here.

Look here.

Get down from there, sir.

ALL CLAMOUR

Sir, what's your name anyway?

Salvador Dali.

Are you supposed to be famous?

Why do you even ask?

Is it true that Lord James
hired a private army?

Shut up. Shut up. All of you.
My friends are dying.

And you're here like vultures.

Dying?!
Shame on you. Shame on you.

You have no respect at all

How many corpses? Who?
Give us a bit of gory detail.

Salvatore.

That's a true performer.
A brilliant artist.

I promise you I can sell that gate
and make a killing.

Lee, take a picture.
Take a picture. We can all be rich.

Nutbag.

Where's Gala? Someone go get her.

CAR HORN BEEPS

My love? Come down, please.

Let me be. All of you.

Let him be. All of you.

I can't take it any more.

Get him the hell down, Manny. Now.

Hey, Sal. It's OK.

Mr Dali,
are you ready for a full statement?

DOG BARKS

There are police
everywhere on the estate.

The main detective went missing.

Two of my friends are dead

reporters talking indistinctly.

Yes?

May I have a moment, My Lord?

Is this about the Dali situation?

The gatekeeper called me.
It's sorted.

Right. It just seems to me

that Mr Dali has made quite
a spectacle of himself.

Perhaps it's best
I make a statement?

Well, Dali is who he is.

You don't want me to handle it,
My Lord?

There are a lot of police
on my estate right now.

I think they can handle
whatever needs handling.

Actually,
I think we can use the free promo.

You know what promo is?

It's a thing that makes people
buy stuff.

I'm sure My Lord
thinks differently, sir.

It's all right, Jukes.

Of course it is.

You can go now, Jukes.

Thank you, Jukes.

Now...

...let's talk proper business.

This is insane.
I'm being treated like a criminal.

Take your hands off me.

I hate cops. I'm allergic to cops.

Welcome home, amor.

Please, not her.

But she's your wife, sir.

Can you lock me up in
the basement?

No, I'm under strict orders, sir.

Don't worry. He'll survive.

Trust me, I won't.

Question is, will I?

Uh... Sorry, ma'am?

Don't worry, boy,
I'm only joking. You've enough on.

Go find your boss.
Or the killer.

And be a dear. Lock us up.

Sure, ma'am.

DOOR LOCKS

Great.

I'm stuck in here with a monster.

My own private hell.

Meet your Satan, querido.

Oh, Lord. Say it's not so.

Are you all right, Doctor?

My apologies.

You know who this is?

This body has clearly
been in the water for years now.

Do you have a name for us?

If his teeth
match his dental records,

this would be Tobias George James.

The 12th Lord Denver.

May he rest in peace, finally.

Lord James' older brother?

The gold teeth, he definitely had.

Too fond of good Belgian chocolate
was our Lord Denver.

Didn't he kill himself years ago?

That was indeed
the conclusion of the case, yes.

There is some confusion
about that night.

Excessive alcohol.

Some simple souls in the village
believe he lives on as a ghost.

You get that kind of hogwash
around here, I'm afraid.

But suicide was, um, is plausible?

Oh, yes.
It was a tragedy waiting to happen.

Not if, but when.

We all agreed on that score.

What was his story?

Well, Tobias came back
from the Great War.

Couldn't cope with the peace.
Shell-shocked.

Then he lost a lot of the family
fortune in the Wall Street crash.

We'll wait for the lab results,
but it looks like him, you'd say?

Not as I knew him.
HE CHUCKLES

But yes, I'd say so.

OK. Um...

Could you...?
Could you tell Lord James, please?

Of course. His sister should know.

Thank you.

I hope Thistle is all right.

Thank you. Yeah.

Me too.

FOOTSTEPS DEPART

SHE CHUCKLES

SHE LAUGHS

Hm.

BIRDS CAW

I've always liked those earrings.

Where'd you go?

I was working.

Death and despair inspire you?

It's funny how women are always
attracted to the dark side.

And they act all surprised
when they see the actual darkness.

What do you think this is, huh?
A joke?

You think I'm a freak?

Oh, calm down, Manny.

I am calm and I need you calm.
How many of those have you had?

Just the two, I think.

You're not yourself.

Am I not, my man?

I need you now, Lee.
Please cut the crap.

Look at me, it's me. I need you.

Do you? Yeah.

And this is important.

What is it that you need?

There's, uh...

...something I need
to tell you and...

...it might come as a shock.

OK.

Is this your painting?

Yes. I brought it back with me from
Brussels for the big show on Friday.

Where was this?

You know that clearing
in the woods?

It means he was there last night.

Maybe he dropped it
to mark the spot?

Good work, Magritte.

Oh, no, no. It's...
Georgette found it.

Oh, thank you.
I'll go have a look now.

Are you coming?

SHE SIGHS

So this is how it's going to be?

Yes.

SHE SCOFFS

Today?

The day we have been waiting for
for years and years?

The day of our final breakthrough?

Yes.

Fine.

What are you doing?

Line. Border.
Cross it and you'll see.

Childish. You are a child.

This is not working.

You're damn right it isn't.

I have one last proposal.

You hate me.

I can't do anything about that.

But we do have a shared interest -

Salvador Dali, the product.

Our goal is to make you
the greatest artist in the world.

You make the art. I find money,

inspire you and manage the image
and sales.

It's always been like this,
and it works perfectly.

Behind the scenes,
you can hate me all you want,

and vice versa.

But once outside the room,
we are the Golden Dalis.

We sell love.

Exactly.

It's a stupid idea.

SHE SIGHS

Think about it. People love us.

Want to be with us. We... we sell.

SHE SIGHS

Take your time... partner.

And in the meantime,
we won't cross the red line.

And no fucking.

Deal?

Deal.

Can we fuck other people?

Perdona, I don't know the rules.

Gala, I'm just asking.
I'm just asking.

PIANO PLAYS

This is my brother, you say?

Chances are, it is.

Are you sure?

Well...

...not 100% certain, but...

SHE SHUDDERS

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

All right.

I'll have Jukes prepare
the family crypt.

Should we await confirmation?

More autopsies? Why?

His life ended in despair.

SHE GRUNTS

BODY SPLASHES IN WATER

Whatever the specifics of it...

...I'd prefer not to know.

Let him rest. Hm?

I've had
this weird feeling all day.

What do you sense?

That we might never see him again.

Quant.

Quant, where are you?

Oh, my God.

Quant!

Sir?

Sir?

Sir!

Quant.

Are you there?

Sir, what happened?

The killer.

SHE WHIMPERS

No, no, my friend.

Not you too panting.

HE BREATHES SHAKILY

SHE SOBS QUIETLY

Detective Chief Inspector
John Thistlethwaite.

Deceased in the line of duty.

Bad things come in three.

I liked him. A lot.

We pray to unknown gods.

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

FLIES BUZZ

Jesus Christ!

HE GRUMBLES

HE SIGHS

SHE EXHALES SHARPLY

11 deep cuts in a straight line.

Not exactly cuts, are they?

More like deep holes
hammered into his spine.

What kind of sick person does this?

It looks ritualistic.

Or some sort of sick art.

I mean, it's definitely in the style
of the other two murders.

This was the 365th case
of his career.

Can you imagine
investigating your own death last?

God!

It was under my nose
the whole time.

Sorry, Detective?

He was planning all of it.

He wasn't even hiding it.

Fucking bastard.

You three,
sweep the surroundings.

You four, follow me.

Look out for an iron

with 11 nine-inch nails
soldered to the bottom.

I've seen it in his workshop

and it's very likely
it's our murder weapon.

The man we are looking for
is Man Ray.

Do not make a move.

No, no, no...
Those nails, they're not even mine.

Put your tool down
and get your hands behind your back.

Are you insane, Detective?
I'm at work.

Man Ray, I am placing you under
arrest for the kidnapping and murder

of Detective Chief Inspector
John Thistlethwaite... No. No.

...the murder of Ms Sheila Legge,

as well as the torture
and murder of Nash Wesley.

Take him to London, please.
Straight away.

No. No, I...

I'm innocent.

SHE BREATHES SHAKILY

This is nonsense, Detective.
I'm innocent.

Get your hands off of me. Oww.

Are you sure about this?

Yes.

All right.
HE GRUNTS

There's one more person
I need to speak to.

I know.

Want to come with me?

Are you sure?
I thought you didn't need my help.

I don't. But you've got a good eye.

Does that mean
that we're friends now?

Don't push it.

ENGINE STARTS

I guess Man won't be back
for dinner?

For the murder of the DCI alone,

he'll never get out of jail.

What about the other murders?

We suspect him of all three.

Is there anything
you'd like to share with us?

SHE SCOFFS

What is there left to say when
the detective has made up her mind?

I'm just trying to help, Lee.

SHE SIGHS

Uh...

Man did tell me a secret
earlier today.

It felt more like a confession.

PEOPLE CHATTER INDISTINCTLY

Lee, what do you think
about spiders?

Oh...

CHATTER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY

Sit down.

Oh, I couldn't, sir.

Sit down.

Do you know Sheila, Ms Legge,
well, Jukes?

I know Ms Legge all too well.

She's been a guest here so often.

Right here in this house,
assisted by Dr Fine,

she delivered her baby.

Hm.

So sad what happened to little
Sebastian last summer in Spain.

Hm.

And Seb was a nightmare birth.

All that could go wrong, did,

but... she were braver
than a lioness.

Yeah, she was that,
and a single mom and all.

I'm sorry, what do you mean, sir?

Of course the father was present.

Who... are you talking about?

Are you sure?

Well, of course I'm sure, sir.

Have I said something I shouldn't?

No, I...

I'm just kidding.

I'd best get on.

Can I offer you some wine, sir?
Yeah.

He realised that Sheila
was using him,

whether for attention
or something else.

Nash too, probably.

Bloodsuckers.

He wanted to be sure
before telling me.

It felt like he needed
to get it off his chest.

Badly.

SHE SIGHS
All right.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

So, how are you going to present
the case?

SHE SIGHS

Murder three,
DCI Thistlethwaite.

Man got caught
with the murder weapon.

Motive - the DCI got too close.

Murder two, Nash.

Shot with a salt bullet
from Lee Miller's gun.

He had access to
the murder weapon at all times.

Motive - Man wanted Nash dead
because Nash was the father of Seb,

and Man always thought
that was him.

Murder one, Sheila Legge.
Strangulation.

Motive - jealousy.
He was angry for the same reason.

She made him believe
he was the father,

he couldn't handle it.

All of this,
plus a tendency towards violence

and an obsession with death
and gore in his work.

Yeah. I mean, it's plausible.

I sense you have doubt.

No, no doubt.
It does make sense.

But, as a surrealist, maybe
it's the sense that bothers me.

Well, you've helped me quite a lot,
for a surrealist.

Trust me. You crushed this case.

Now go get your reward.

I don't really care about rewards.

Only fools care for rewards.

Just get it over with.

Merci, Detective.

Thank you... my friend.

There she is.

Superintendent Coney. My Lord.

Man Ray. American artist.

Well, American killer,
as it turns out.

Fine work, DC Quant.

Such a dreadful pity
about Thistlethwaite.

One of our finest.
Slain in the line of duty.

That poor man.

What a bastard this case has been.

I wish the DCI never came close
to this madman.

Man Ray will rot in prison
for life, Quant,

if that's any consolation.

Yes, sir.

We can lift the lockdown
whilst we're at it.

At last. This estate needs
a breath of fresh air.

We send the men home.

You stay here to tidy everything up,
write up reports and the like.

Make everything textbook
for our American cousins.

Yes, sir.

And you can tell everyone
to address you as DCI Quant.

Congratulations, DCI.
A fast promotion.

Sir.

You don't sound too pleased.

No, very. Thank you, sir.

The case is closed, DCI Quant.
Full stop.

Congrats and all that.

Rejoice. We will.

Thank you for stopping by, Michael.
Any time, My Lord.

How is Virginia these days?
Fabulous. She sends...

CHATTER CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY

SHE EXHALES

We're finally celebrating.

Aren't we?

Plenty of reasons to.

Hm. Everything is ready
for the exhibition.

This might turn out to be one of

the biggest moments in modern art
history.

Sante! To you, My Lord.

To art.

And the fortune
it's about to make us.

PEOPLE CHATTER INDISTINCTLY

May I have your attention, please?

My dear friends.

After all that has happened
in the last few days,

tonight we become world famous.

Let it all happen.

What else is life
but a strange, chaotic game?

But let us, this fine group,

never forget what happened here.

Who we are and what we were.

For all the rest of time,

never less than
the day of yesterday...

...a collection of friends.

I give my love to all of you.

And now raise your glass
with me, please.

Let's go out there.

Let's go out there

and let's grab the world...

Say it with me, come on.
Let's grab the world...

Thank you.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I love him so much,
I could die.

SINGING FRENCH OPERA

Mr Picasso, welcome.

PEOPLE CHATTER INDISTINCTLY

Could I have a glass of Vichy water?
Hold the ice, two slices of lemon.

Mr Picasso.

Doctor.

I hope we're having
good fortune tonight.

A lot of wealthy people around here,
interested in the works.

Some ladies I'm interested in too.

DR FINE LAUGHS

Oh, Sally, my boy,
come here and give me a hug.

My sweet Peggy Guggenheim.

Now, you tell me
before you tell them,

what should I buy?

Peggy, you are the richest woman
in the world.

You think so? You are.

You can buy anything you want, surely.

Nancy?

Darling.

My friend Salvador here thinks I'm
the highest roller in the building.

How cute of him.

Meet Nancy Cunard,

the heir and co-owner
of Cunard-White Star Line.

Now she's the real deal.

Peggy, you're so bourgeois.
Who cares?

My pleasure.

SHE CHUCKLES

Either way, my ladies.
I think you should buy all of it.

You know what they say.

Oh, you don't know?

Buy more Dali... make more money.

BOTH LAUGH

Oh, he is such a cutie.

He is.

SHE SIGHS

Stephen, please. Wait, listen to me.

You'll get your little sums
of money on Monday, I swear.

I don't think so, mate.

HE SIGHS

It's a very important night
for us. Come on.

Don't do this to me, my friend.

Sorry, mate.

Take it up with the boss.

HE LAUGHS

Frogs cracking jokes.
Only the Germans can be more crude.

Ah, MJ, you can really be a banker.

Hey, Rene? Rene? Come. Come.

May I present to you Rene Magritte,
the painter's painter.

Not to mention, the collector's pet.

And his beautiful wife,
Georgette Magritte.

Word is your Lord ain't paying
anyone around here.

Might be time for you
to look for a new job.

You are on the estate of Lord James
and you will obey me.

I'd hire you but you've got
a stinking attitude, my friend.

You get into that van

and you will never work
here again.

Stephen!

Please!

Bastard!

Christ!

HE PANTS

The caterer brought
the wrong vintage of Bollinger.

What a complete idiot.

We'll have to go into
the Lord's private champagne cellar

and take some of our own stock.

Get the rest of the staff
to follow me downstairs immediately.

These look pretty darkened, sir.

It looks like they've been here
at least a decade.

If I want your opinion,
I'll ask for it. Sir?

What is it now?
You might want to come see this.

Stay away from there.

That room is off limits.
The door was open, sir.

Keep it closed.

I need to speak to DC Quant
immediately.

Get the rest of
the stock upstairs. Now.

Yes, sir.

HE PANTS

Mon Dieu!

How is that even possible?

What the hell?