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1
00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:27,230
All right, so be completely honest.
2
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What do you think of this first date?
3
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Complete honesty?
4
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:32,770
Yeah. I think it's really boring.
5
00:00:33,130 --> 00:00:37,270
What? For the record, everybody, I said
we should go mini -golfing, but he was
6
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too scared to get beat by me. For the
record, I would literally destroy her.
7
00:00:40,650 --> 00:00:41,629
Mm -hmm, sure.
8
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I'm sure you would have to use one of
those, like, little kitty buttons. Oh,
9
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gosh, shut up.
10
00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:50,390
I can't believe you made these from
scratch all by yourself.
11
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,070
I know, right? Don't they look amazing?
12
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,340
No,
13
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,360
I made them myself.
14
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,640
You sure?
15
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,480
Yes.
16
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,140
Maya. What?
17
00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:03,940
Who are you texting?
18
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,580
Nobody. All right, let's see. Who are
you texting?
19
00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,040
Nobody.
20
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,320
Come on, what are you hiding?
21
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:12,700
Nothing.
22
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,140
Am I doing it right? Do I look like you?
23
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,000
Um, you know, you're close.
24
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Tell me what I'm doing wrong.
25
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,500
All right.
26
00:01:55,120 --> 00:02:00,480
Today is Thursday, March 15th.
27
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I've really been struggling lately.
28
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I'm not sure why.
29
00:02:11,780 --> 00:02:13,320
It's just been hard.
30
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:20,800
Sometimes I think I'll be okay.
31
00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,590
Like, everything will work itself out.
32
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:33,770
But then... I just never thought we
would become strangers.
33
00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:41,550
I hate this feeling of constantly
wondering why, for some reason, I wasn't
34
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enough.
35
00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:48,590
She was one of the only people in the
main thing. Like, I was enough.
36
00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:51,930
Sometimes I just...
37
00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:54,310
I wish we never met.
38
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:58,230
I miss mom still.
39
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:01,050
I wish she was here to help me out.
40
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Help me figure out all this.
41
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:11,110
I feel so lonely.
42
00:03:15,190 --> 00:03:16,670
I just don't want to be alone.
43
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,540
Anything interesting happening at school
today?
44
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:33,340
No. I got an email about a music contest
coming up. Looks pretty interesting.
45
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Not really.
46
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Finn.
47
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What? Are you okay?
48
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,360
Yeah, I'm fine.
49
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:45,080
Why? I'm just worried about you.
50
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,240
No, there's nothing to worry about.
51
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I love you, bud.
52
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,040
Yeah, I know.
53
00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:15,610
Come find me and please be kind I've
been lying
54
00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:22,430
awake till the morning time I don't
55
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:28,910
know what's gotten in my mind But it's
56
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misapplied and it's magnified I believe
57
00:04:35,870 --> 00:04:36,870
that
58
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Then I needed all their lies.
59
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:43,690
I was defeated.
60
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:53,290
Before I even tried to uncover their
disguise.
61
00:04:56,630 --> 00:05:03,450
I'm so sorry. That's all
62
00:05:03,450 --> 00:05:04,470
right. Don't worry about it.
63
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:08,190
Where are you going in such a rush?
64
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:13,510
Uh, you, uh, got a minute to help me
hang these up?
65
00:05:14,070 --> 00:05:18,210
Um, it'll only take a minute. I promise
I'll let you get on your way right
66
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:19,370
after. Okay.
67
00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:20,730
Okay.
68
00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,350
Here, hold these.
69
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:26,270
What are these for?
70
00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,590
The annual Rivendell High School Music
Contest.
71
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,050
It's a cool opportunity.
72
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:33,610
Yeah. Speaking of which, why not do it?
73
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:35,650
I mean, it doesn't hurt to submit.
74
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,890
I haven't played in a while.
75
00:05:38,610 --> 00:05:40,070
You have plenty of time to practice.
76
00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:43,730
I'm trying.
77
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:47,850
You know, if you keep focusing on your
past, you're going to end up stuck there
78
00:05:47,850 --> 00:05:49,710
and then not know how to move forward.
79
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:54,450
I say this because I don't know if
you're going through with your breakup.
80
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:57,910
My breakup? Who told you about my
breakup?
81
00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:01,210
Students talk.
82
00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:04,930
They act like I can't hear, but I can.
83
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,430
What does any of this have to do with
the music contest?
84
00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:17,410
Well, it doesn't really, but it does
have to do with lost passion.
85
00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:25,910
Everybody's been there, including me. I
mean, my situation was actually very
86
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:29,550
similar to yours, and it was really hard
to get by.
87
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:36,150
I mean, I lost all motivation, passion,
persistence for music.
88
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:41,490
And then one day I just kind of picked
up my guitar out of nowhere and started
89
00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:48,470
messing around with it. And somehow the
most random chords and strings I was
90
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:49,790
playing started to form a melody.
91
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:56,830
And it was through that pratha that I
learned how much music meant to me.
92
00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:58,530
And I know how much it means to you.
93
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:03,450
Just, I mean, at least make it a goal to
submit something.
94
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:05,930
You know, you'll be glad you did.
95
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:07,590
Okay.
96
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:09,970
Maybe I will.
97
00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:15,230
All right. Well, we have three more
hallways for these things, so we should
98
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:16,169
going. Okay.
99
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,170
Okay.
100
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,240
How have you been?
101
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,960
How's your weekly video journals coming
along?
102
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,540
Finn?
103
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,140
Um, yeah, they've been fine.
104
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,740
What's something positive that's
happened to this week?
105
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,500
I don't know.
106
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,120
You don't know?
107
00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:32,620
Or you've got things about things?
108
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:35,799
I can't think of anything.
109
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,020
Well, how about something in the future?
110
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:44,380
Is there something you're looking
forward to in the coming month?
111
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:52,020
Well, there's a music contest coming up.
112
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,480
Are you thinking of participating in it?
113
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:58,520
I don't know. I want to.
114
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,100
I just... I can't.
115
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:04,440
Why is that?
116
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,080
Does it have something to do with Maya?
117
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:08,700
Or your mom?
118
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,280
The music just brings back a lot of
memories.
119
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Memories of?
120
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,560
My mom.
121
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:21,900
And Maya.
122
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:30,340
And do you think these memories with
Maya are
123
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:33,760
somehow... physically stopping you from
playing?
124
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,480
I don't know. They just distract me.
125
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,980
That's completely normal, Finn.
126
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,620
First love will always be with us.
127
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,780
Other people you date will remind you of
her. I don't want to be stuck with this
128
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:50,780
memory of her.
129
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:57,440
I... I don't want everything and
everyone to remind me of her.
130
00:09:57,980 --> 00:10:00,960
I can't live with this thought of her.
131
00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:03,410
And of us?
132
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:08,090
I... I just... I just want to move on.
133
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,850
Maybe you need some closure.
134
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:16,430
What do you think would give you
closure?
135
00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:22,970
I don't know, maybe like a... like a
true apology from her?
136
00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:24,950
Or something like that?
137
00:10:26,790 --> 00:10:30,290
You think that would help you to move
on?
138
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,440
Is there anything else you wanted to
talk about?
139
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,400
No.
140
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:40,780
Okay.
141
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,560
Why don't we schedule again for next
week?
142
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,300
I'd like to see how you are then.
143
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:17,920
I'm sure you would have to use one of
those little kitty putters. Oh my gosh,
144
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:18,940
shut up.
145
00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:56,370
Hey. Hey.
146
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,130
I'm sorry.
147
00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,250
I shouldn't have called. No, it's okay.
148
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:04,570
Okay.
149
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,730
Um, how have you been?
150
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,670
Um, you know, I've been okay.
151
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:12,650
How are you?
152
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,350
I'm good.
153
00:12:17,850 --> 00:12:19,530
Can I ask you something?
154
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:28,220
Okay. Why'd you do it?
155
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,100
Do what?
156
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,080
Cheat on me. Why'd you cheat on me?
157
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:37,380
It was an accident. I have told you this
a million times before.
158
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:38,980
An accident?
159
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,700
Letting another guy get between us is an
accident.
160
00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:48,940
I just... I was struggling with you,
with us, and you didn't even seem to
161
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,280
Care?
162
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:52,800
I did care.
163
00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:59,850
I... I've been weeks, maybe even months,
of trying to fix things.
164
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:04,810
I don't think you realize how much I
struggle.
165
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:08,970
Well, you never showed it! I'm so scared
of something like this happening.
166
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:14,550
You completely broke me.
167
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:20,770
After my mom passed, you just threw me
away. Threw our relationship away like
168
00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:22,050
was a piece of trash.
169
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:29,400
Like, that's all I was to you, and... I
trusted no one except you.
170
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:35,840
And now I'm not even sure if I can trust
anyone anymore, because it just feels
171
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,520
like everybody leaves.
172
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,460
Just tell me the truth.
173
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:44,180
I just wasn't happy with you anymore.
174
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:50,480
I... I needed someone new in my life.
175
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,270
Hello? Finn?
176
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:08,870
What am I doing?
177
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,210
What is wrong with me?
178
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,630
And what did I do?
179
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:27,380
Um...
180
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,040
Look at our musician learning from the
best.
181
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,740
Soon I'll be the best.
182
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,200
Okay, mister.
183
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:04,340
Don't just rub it in.
184
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,800
Just don't forget about us when you're
famous.
185
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,120
Especially me.
186
00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:09,660
Don't forget who gave you this guitar.
187
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:12,260
I'll never forget you.
188
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:17,980
Oh, hey, bud. Where you been?
189
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,060
Finn!
190
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,380
Finn!
191
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:31,670
Everything okay?
192
00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:32,810
Yeah, I'm fine.
193
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,950
I know something's wrong.
194
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:36,230
Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.
195
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:44,290
Is it about Maya again?
196
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,209
I'm sorry.
197
00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:50,830
I wish there was some way I could take
this pain away from you.
198
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:53,810
I just really miss her.
199
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:55,569
I know.
200
00:16:55,570 --> 00:16:56,449
It's hard.
201
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,610
And I know you miss her.
202
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,760
I just... I don't know why.
203
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,160
Why I miss her so much.
204
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,119
Especially after what she did.
205
00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:14,920
And how bad she hurt me.
206
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,500
Nobody knows.
207
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:23,640
But sometimes the only solution is to
truly ask yourself, do you really miss
208
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,440
her? Or do you miss the idea of her?
209
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,300
I don't know, I just...
210
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:33,780
I still love her.
211
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,320
I have this feeling in my chest.
212
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:44,280
Like a feeling of my heart wanting
something so bad.
213
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,780
But my mind, my mind is saying no.
214
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,300
Because deep down, you know it isn't
worth it.
215
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,720
I just wanted her to love me the way
that I loved her.
216
00:17:57,220 --> 00:18:00,380
Love is many things, but it's also a
choice.
217
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:06,500
If what you and Maya had was true love,
you would have never had to fight for
218
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,500
her to stay.
219
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,240
But then why did she go?
220
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:14,620
Everyone has a choice in life, no matter
what, but sometimes we don't always get
221
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,500
to choose whether we leave or whether we
stay.
222
00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:19,540
But we do make the choice to love.
223
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:23,380
And I, I make the choice to love you
every day.
224
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:28,420
Maya can say whatever she wants, but at
the end of the day, she made the choice.
225
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:38,760
The way she chose someone else over me
just made me feel
226
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,800
like I wasn't enough.
227
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:49,080
I feel like I need to prove that I can
be great at something,
228
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:55,440
that I can be known for something, that
I could just be
229
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,500
somebody.
230
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,440
Hey, look at me.
231
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:02,670
You're somebody right now.
232
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,109
I know.
233
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:06,109
It's hard.
234
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:09,170
But the best thing you can do right now
is distract yourself with the things
235
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:10,810
that you love to do. Like what?
236
00:19:11,170 --> 00:19:12,170
Like music.
237
00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:14,510
I'm terrible at it. It doesn't matter.
238
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:16,870
All that matters is that it makes you
happy.
239
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:22,850
I know you have a love for it. I've seen
your obsession. You have the same trait
240
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:23,850
your mother had.
241
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,330
I've missed Mom a lot lately.
242
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:31,410
I know.
243
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:32,770
I have too.
244
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:37,030
Why don't we ever talk about her?
245
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,250
I don't know.
246
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:44,290
I guess we all have to grieve in our own
way, but it doesn't mean that we don't
247
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:45,290
care.
248
00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:49,090
I know your mother would be very proud
of you.
249
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:55,230
And I will always be proud of you, no
matter what.
250
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:58,570
I love you, Finn.
251
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,400
Hey, Finn.
252
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,820
I hope you know that this isn't
anybody's fault.
253
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:33,480
I know it'll be hard for you with me
gone, but I have faith in you.
254
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:39,300
You are such a strong and brave young
man.
255
00:20:40,180 --> 00:20:43,500
Just promise me that you'll never forget
what you still have.
256
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:48,500
And if you ever feel disconnected to me,
257
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,680
Just pick up your guitar and play.
258
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:58,860
You'll always be able to find me in a
song.
259
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,760
You have so much talent.
260
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,280
And I am so proud of you.
261
00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:10,000
I'm sorry I won't be able to be there
for you.
262
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,500
But I will always be in your heart.
263
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,500
And I will always...
264
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:19,880
I will always love you.
265
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,700
Today is May 12th. This is my 11th video
so far.
266
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:51,980
I've always wanted to prove something.
267
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:57,720
Prove to myself that I can do something
great.
268
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,360
Become someone great.
269
00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:07,240
But I've never really tried.
270
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,860
I've been scared to try.
271
00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:15,780
I still am.
272
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:26,140
But I think that in order for me to
achieve something that I really want to
273
00:23:26,140 --> 00:23:28,880
for myself, I have to try.
274
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:31,860
I want to change.
275
00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:37,920
And I want to look back on this video
and know that I didn't let myself down.
276
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,920
And that I never will again.
277
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,120
At least not for me and you.
278
00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:12,980
Already.
279
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:17,060
I've lost the light.
280
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,560
I could not bear to lose.
281
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,720
Have you lost yours too?
282
00:24:25,340 --> 00:24:31,340
I could be the one that you look for. I
could be right there with you. If only
283
00:24:31,340 --> 00:24:32,520
you would show yourself.
284
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,500
If I can make sense somehow.
285
00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:44,300
I can do better than they all have.
Promise that you'd never think to look
286
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,100
I don't want to be myself.
287
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,020
All you want is someone else.
288
00:25:03,450 --> 00:25:05,010
Wait, hold on. I got something better to
do.
289
00:25:05,410 --> 00:25:07,990
Shut up. I just get the beat if I do
this.
290
00:25:08,410 --> 00:25:09,410
I think it looks shorter.
19962
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