Original subtitles

Go on in.

Sit down. I don't know why I'm in here.

Yeah, I went ahead and got the individual in.

Yeah.

So, um, the store clerk said that they saw her swipe the nickel on the shelf,

I'm going to have to go and start an interrogation and maybe a search.

Keep it posted.

I didn't take anything.

Well, that's not what I heard.

I was just coming here to shop, and all of a sudden, you and your security

friends are up my ass and claiming I stole something. I didn't steal

It's just my volleyball stuff.

All right, well, a store clerk said that they saw you say something.

I didn't.

It's all my stuff, like I said before, so I don't know why you're interrogating

me or thinking I did it. What?

Just because you want to get a pretty girl in here and you want to accuse me

stealing?

Clutching that bag awfully close to your stomach.

Yeah, because it's my personal stuff.

It's my volleyball stuff. And I have a game. As you can tell, I came in here

right before just to, you know, get some stuff. And now you're accusing me of

something I didn't even do. Well, firstly, I'm not accusing you of

Someone else has seen you.

You have an eye of witness.

On what? I didn't take anything.

You mind if I search your bag?

I already told you.

You really don't believe me? Let me rephrase that. I'm not asking you if I

search your bag. I'm going to search your bag.

I promise I do not take anything.

You don't have to search it.

It's just my stuff.

I'll take your word for it.

You're free to go.

Really? Absolutely not.

What the fuck?

I have my coach who's going to kill me if I don't get to my game.

And I didn't do anything wrong.

So why can't you just let me leave? Well, tell me, do you feel confident

for me to go ahead and look over the security cam footage?

Do you not take anything from the show? You don't take my word?

You don't believe me?

I have a job here to do. You understand?

What, are you trying to be security guard of the month or something?

I'm security guard whenever the hell I so please. Because I run this ship.

So. Whatever.

I'll take the bag.

I'll take the bag.

Go ahead.

You don't have to go through it. Come on. You're just going to find all my

underwear. You don't want to look at all my underwear and bras. That's weird.

There are no sharp items or anything in here that I need to be concerned about.

No, there's nothing in there.

So if I stick my hand in here, I'm not going to stick myself, am I?

No, you're not going to. It's just my... You're going

through

all my stuff, dude. You're messing it all up.

What?

I can't get a girl security guard to come go through my... Oh, shit.

I don't know how that got in there.

My friend must have snuck that in my bag, because I did not do that.

Your friend?

You were quite alone.

I had a friend here earlier. She left.

Yeah, well.

I didn't do that, so it wasn't me. This matches the description of what was

taken to show.

It wasn't me. It wasn't my stuff, so I don't... Literally, someone must have

snuck that in my bag. Did you do it to try to get credit? You know what? I

I know there's a perfectly reasonable explanation, right?

You were shopping, and...

This bag just fell off the shelf. You don't believe me, do you?

Would you believe you?

Yeah, I would. Oh, you would. You'd be really bad at my job then.

Look, can we just forget this ever happened and you can just... Look,

else, like I said, someone else must have put it in my bag. It must have

snuck in there because I did not do it. I just came...

Am I going to handcuff you?

No, I'm not doing anything. I'm being calm. I'm staying calm.

Can I just have my backpack fucking gone?

I'm done searching through the contents of your bag.

Fuck.

You said volleyball.

I do cheerleading on the side.

Busy girl.

Yeah, and taking away from my schedule.

I guess you're just not busy enough to get a job, so you can just take care of

yourself.

I'm an athlete. I don't need a fucking job.

Well... Get on your little fucking walkie -talkie.

Contents were found in her bag.

I'm going to have to now proceed with a full search on her person.

Let you know if I find anything else.

What do you mean you have to do a full search?

Well...

You took one thing.

Okay, and you counted. Congrats.

You won.

Well, I'm going to have to see what else you've taken.

I didn't take anything else. Oh, what?

There's nothing else on me. My fucking uniform is tight as hell. Like, what?

You think I fucking stuck something on me or something?

You know what? That's what we're about to find out.

What do you mean that's what we're about to find out?

I'm going to have you go ahead and stand.

Is this really necessary?

It is entirely necessary. This is my job. This is my responsibility.

You take it really seriously.

I take it very seriously.

It's my job. You're really going to search me?

I am going to search you.

This is fucking crazy.

Seriously?

Seriously.

Whatever. Go ahead. You're not going to find anything.

Literally, you see anything on me. How is it possible? Stay still, ma 'am. I

need to ask you to calm down.

I'm calm.

You're the one who's freaking out. I'm perfectly calm.

Whatever. Do your thing and let me go.

Is this really necessary?

This is my job.

When you decide to have a job so you can pay for things, you'll understand.

Whatever. Do your thing and let me go.

Of course you have to get obnoxiously close to me.

I got a check everywhere, ma 'am.

That's so fucking weird.

Are you finding anything? No.

Whatever. Keep going.

See? Nothing.

Can

we

wrap it up now?

I'm going to take my time.

Ew.

Is this dick bothering you? Yeah, you're kind of bothering me in general.

Just get it over with.

You know what bothers me?

It's one.

Blue -fed young girl think that they can just walk into my mom and take

whatever they please. I'm not doing that.

I didn't steal it.

You still don't believe me?

You don't trust me?

I know you stole it. So no, I don't trust you.

Well, is that the end of our search?

Absolutely not.

These scanners can only take me so far.

What else do you have to do?

There's nothing else.

I'm going to have to search you.

I'm going to have to frisk you.

Like, a strip search type of thing?

That's gross. We don't always take it that far. We don't always have to,

Can't, like, a lady security guard do this or something?

Like, are you just trying to freak on me? I'm a security guard on duty right

now. And it's going to be me.

Whatever. Just get it done with. I'm going to prove to you that I was right

you were wrong.

We'll see.

And to your side.

I will handcuff you.

Fine. Here. Are you happy?

get everywhere, don't you?

I'm using the back of my hand. Don't make me use it in a different way.

Whatever.

Should I use the palm?

No, the back's fine.

Do you always handle everyone this roughly?

Ugh.

Well, if you were a little more compliant... I'm being perfectly fine.

I know loves me.

My volleyball coach is going to kill me, and I hope you're happy about that.

God, what the fuck?

Do you really have to spread my ass open?

I didn't put anything up there.

Not that.

Not that weird.

Do you think I'm going to take your word for it?

Probably not.

Even though, you know, whatever.

I was right before.

I'm going to have to ask you to bend over the desk now.

Seriously?

I have to bend over for you?

Not only do I need you to bend over the desk, I'm going to need you to remove

these articles of clothing.

I'm not removing my clothing.

That's just unnecessary.

There's no other way I can be absolutely confident that you have not taken

anything else from this mall.

If that's all you've taken, I'll simply have you pay for that.

Nothing's on me. See?

You can see. I'm good.

No, I can't.

I really have to get naked for this? Yes, you do.

Maybe next time you won't feel.

Consider this a life learning lesson.

Whatever.

This is so weird.

Am I good? Do I have to take my bottoms off too?

You absolutely do.

Take those shoes off too while you're at it.

Oh my gosh.

Do I have to get naked?

No. Give me the shoes.

No.

Seriously? You're making me do that too? Bend over and give me those shoes.

Here, take them. Whatever. Check them too.

You're good.

You're not going to find anything else in my clothing.

I'm not taking my bottoms off. Bottom. That's just a stretch.

What are you going to do?

Suspect is not. cooperating. I may need some additional assistance.

Look, whatever.

I don't need... No. I don't want any of your other weird security guards coming

in and making me strip -church too.

There.

Bend over.

Bend over. Look, you can search me right here.

And I will. You know what?

It's a good idea.

Move your arms.

I will just handcuff them behind you. It's fine.

No, I don't need to be handcuffed. Move your arm.

Whatever.

Okay. See? Nothing's under there.

Not seeing anything.

No.

Alright.

Is this a normal security search?

This can't be. This can't be the normal.

Oh my god.

There's nothing in there.

Not yet.

Turn around. Bend over. No.

Bend. Oh.

What are you doing?

Don't get another security guard.

For all you know, he might not be as nice as me.

I don't know how it could get any worse.

What, are you finding anything in there?

Nothing's in there. You're not going to find anything special?

You already found my fucking knee pads.

I'm being compliant.

I have one more thing.

Not cooperate with me today.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to take it out on you, young lady.

Why? I didn't do anything wrong.

You're still going with that story?

Yeah. Because I know I didn't do anything wrong.

I can't believe I'm in here.

Oh my gosh.

I need to ask you.

Put that leg up on the table, please. Why? You're already getting in there

enough.

I need a better view.

Hey, the sooner you comply, the sooner I can get you out of here.

Wouldn't that be nice?

You're really going to make me put my leg up.

Put your leg up.

Oh, my God.

Look, nothing's in there.

Look, nothing's in there.

You're not going to find anything special.

What? I'm going to have to ask you to not touch me like that again.

Why? You're touching me.

Yes, but I didn't feel anything and this is my job.

This is your job? This is my job.

I sure love doing it.

Find anything special?

Nothing particularly special.

I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't do it 100%.

What does that mean? When we're always dead, you can either do something half

-assed or you can do a whole lot.

Yeah, I can tell you love your job.

A whole lot? You're so pathetic.

So, I'm going to have to go ahead and do account research.

What?

I've never been strip -searched like this before.

So, have you told them before?

No.

I didn't say that.

God, are you finding anything?

Like, you keep going in and out.

Can you be done now?

I'm not done just yet.

This is so weird.

You sure you haven't stuffed anything inside here?

No, that's so gross. I would never do that. You would never stuff anything

inside here? I'm not fucking weird, like you.

Seeing anything special, or do you just want to get in my hole?

I'll get in all your holes if I have to.

Oh, my gosh.

Are you good back there?

I'm good.

Oh, my God.

Why are your fingers still in there? You haven't found anything yet, or are you

just trying to search harder? Like, what's going on? Oh, I'm going to search

real hard.

I'm starting to feel like you're enjoying this, ma 'am. I'm not. This is

fucking weird. Just get it over with. I'm ready to be done.

I'm sure you're enjoying it, though.

I do enjoy my job.

It has its benefits.

Get in there enough?

What do you think? I set something that far up me? Like, that's not even

possible. I might need to go in deeper.

What?

Haven't you done enough searching?

I'm not quite sure.

Haven't you done enough searching back there? I clearly don't have anything.

You know, I think you're right.

I know.

But that doesn't excuse the item you already paid for. Sit down.

I'm not done with my search. I thought after that I'd be all finished.

What else do I have to do?

Look, I'm sorry about that. I will admit, I took the one thing. It was very

cheap. Look, my coach is insane about safety.

And I just, I was a little, you know, I didn't have the money. So I just, you

know, I wanted... to just take it but it's literally like i'll just pay you

right now like i can call my mom and get her to spend some money like just let

me go i'm sorry okay is that what you want to hear you're right you caught

me are we done now how do i know you'll pay for these items

and uh be on your way how do i not know that you might not come back and go to

another store and Take some more items.

Well, I've learned my lesson. I'm not going to have this happen again, so I'm

just not going to steal anymore.

How can I know you're not going to be a repeat offender?

Because, look, you put me in my place. I get it. Do I need to have a picture up

on the wall?

Did you not serve? Please don't do that. That's so embarrassing.

Are you really trying to embarrass me? You've already done enough.

The way I see it, we can do this one of two ways.

So I'm going to give you a choice here. Please don't call the cops.

I'm the kind of guy who likes to give a girl a chance to redeem herself.

Okay. What do I have to do?

I'm not so bad after all, am I?

Do I have to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?

It's funny you should say that.

So we could do this the easy way or the hard way.

It just so happens that the easy way is also a hard way.

Okay, what does that mean?

Well, the way we can do this.

is either I call the police, and then they have to kill me.

What's the other way? I'll do it. Whatever.

Yeah? I'm so happy to hear you say that. It's music to my ears.

Why?

Because the other way involves

sort of a quid pro quo.

What does that mean?

So it's sort of like you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

What does that mean?

So, I won't call the police.

Okay. You, the man.

What? That's so weird.

I don't want to cut your dick.

You know, it's the same.

Wait. You're not going to look too pretty in orange.

Okay, wait, wait.

If you don't call the cops, I mean, I've never had a security act. The way your

pussy was reacting to my finger.

can't go to jail.

No, you don't want that.

And as weird of a security guard as, you know, you are, whatever it takes, so

what do I have to do?

Well, I noticed that out of the

items you had, why?

You had gotten some knee pads.

Yeah, I'm on my knees a lot, because, like, you know, volleyball, you fall,

whatever. Gotta protect yourself.

What is this going to come in handy for?

We're not going to need these knee pads because they don't belong to you.

But now... You are going to get them.

Without the knee pads? Come on, I'm going to get all bruised up and it's

to look weird for my volleyball game.

Seriously?

That's yours.

What am I... to do now.

You know what you're doing.

Do we really have to do this?

I don't know.

What are you doing?

Listen, we're not going to do any of this if you're not 100%. I'll call the

cops. No, it's okay. We don't have to call the cops.

I can, you know, since I did steal something, I guess I, you know, gotta

up and pay for my dues, but whatever.

What better way to make it up to the kind little security guard here?

to do this with all of the people who steal stuff?

There's a lot of guys that steal stuff. I know.

Do you want me to put it in my mouth?

No, I want you to shake hands with it.

Yes.

You think you're really funny, don't you?

Am I doing it right?

I think you know.

It's so weird.

You never

played the game of paint that tongue?

No.

Maybe if you do a really good job at the end.

I hate that face.

Open that mouth wide.

Stay right there. Open that mouth wide.

Uh -huh.

I think you like getting in trouble.

How did you know?

What's that camera for?

Consider it insurance.

You really have to get more security cameras?

Just making sure you never steal them here again.

I'm so happy I'm not going to jail.

Oh, yeah.

Must be nice.

See how generous I am here.

If you had to go into jail, you could get a knife cocked on your throat.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you are. Keep going.

Just remember, as long as I get off, you get off.

This is what it takes.

I guess I'm in it already.

It's going to take a little more than this.

In fact, I'm going to need to get in it.

I thought we already did a cavity search.

It's not going to be my fingers this time.

Really?

Kill me for being late, but I guess that's kind of worth it. Kill you more

having a mug shot.

Have

I

paid my dues yet?

Afraid not.

Seriously, what else do I have to do?

For starters...

Leon, you're back on the table.

Hi.

I was just on my knees.

All these weird positions.

Is this good enough for you?

It's pretty good.

Oh my gosh.

You're searching with your tongue, too.

Jesus. I think you and I both know this isn't a search anymore.

This is turning into something crazy.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, my God.

You're surprisingly good at that, even though I don't want to admit it.

for all the cameras to be going. I know you're a security office, but... That's

where I live.

With all these cameras. All the time.

Get used to it.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my god.

I guess you're not just only good at your job, you're good at a few things!

my pussy talking too?

What is this?

I knew I'd get a confession out of you somehow.

I mean, I guess you're making me feel a little bit better, but... Oh

my

god.

This is so crazy.

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

Yes.

This is crazy.

Now I can really search up in there.

I know. I think I gave my whole hand up there. Find anything yet?

The only thing I'm going to find in here is the G spot.

Oh, you're really good at finding.

are. I'm kind of glad I stole something.

Maybe your dad just didn't thank you enough.

You seem to be doing it now.

Oh, man.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, fuck.

And now you're making a mess of my desk. Oh, my God. It's your fault.

Oh, getting me all wet.

splashes and what isn't. Oh, holy fuck.

You're gonna taste the mess you made.

That's what you got.

Oh, fuck.

I think it's about time I got a little deeper with my search.

I mean, you already sucked your whole hand in. What else could you be doing?

You're really gonna put...

It's for security purposes.

Whatever.

As I said, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

Where do you want me now?

You remember this position.

Bent over again?

Oh my god.

Consider this.

receiving the long stick of the law.

Only I'm not going to call a law today.

Oh my god.

This is the hard way.

Oh fuck.

You do like being bad. You're creaming all over my face. No I don't. Oh yeah

do.

a little bit.

You're pretty naughty compared to yourself, but you do this to all the

girls that come in to steal.

Pretty girls?

Some of them.

We don't actually get that many pretty girls in here, but... I'm sure you're

enjoying yourself right now. I'm sure you're glad I got to steal something.

I don't have a flat.

This is what all the bad girls get.

Only the special ones.

They're really hard.

Getting comfortable or something?

Neither am I.

I know I shouldn't like this, but I love being naughty.

I bet you do.

Oh, fuck.

Yes.

I'm not mad that I was bad today.

This pussy wants to be punished, doesn't it?

I don't know. Fucking cunt.

Better than jail. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, man.

That's searching deep.

Take serious matters into my hands.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. Yes.

Oh.

Oh,

fuck. Oh, yes, yes.

Mm.

Mm. Mm.

You're not free to go, but you are free to come.

I mean, I have to admit I've already done that a couple times.

Dad officer?

Yeah, you're gonna...

really earn your do not go to jail card.

I mean, if this is what it takes to get out, I don't mind too much.

I told you I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm doing everything right.

Now you are.

But you didn't feel that.

I guess I get what I deserve.

My boyfriend doesn't fuck me this good.

You need to find a new boyfriend.

I guess I'll just have to steal something again.

I guess so.

I'm sure you're going to watch these tapes back again.

Oh, I most certainly am.

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing this with a security guard.

officer. You taste pretty good, too.

Also, imagine freedom tastes pretty good.

Do I get out now?

Am I allowed out?

As long as I get off, you get off.

Really? That's all I had to do?

Just don't let me catch you stealing anything here again.

I think you want to catch me.

Okay. Get your clothes. Get your stuff.

And you know what?

Get your fucking knee pads.

You're actually giving them to me? All this time I could have just had them?

Are you going to take me out of the cuffs?