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1
00:00:15,647 --> 00:00:17,212
- *shamekess hall of fame*
- season 01 episode 04
2
00:00:17,296 --> 00:00:18,571
- episode title: - "Debbie, Carl, Liam:
They grow up so fast"
3
00:00:18,656 --> 00:00:20,664
all right,
now you take the needle,
4
00:00:20,749 --> 00:00:23,209
and you scoop the loop.
5
00:00:23,293 --> 00:00:25,503
All right,
then you pull it through.
6
00:00:25,602 --> 00:00:26,934
- Ow, fuck!
- Pull it tight.
7
00:00:27,018 --> 00:00:28,602
When the hell does this
turn into a pillow?
8
00:00:28,686 --> 00:00:30,270
What are you doing?
9
00:00:30,354 --> 00:00:31,688
Knitting.
10
00:00:31,772 --> 00:00:33,732
You making
another self-sculpture?
11
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,525
Looks just like you.
12
00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:37,277
Fuck off.
13
00:00:37,361 --> 00:00:40,030
- What, another weed bread?
- Yeah, makes some good money.
14
00:00:40,114 --> 00:00:42,324
Well, there goes
my pandemic girlfriend.
15
00:00:42,408 --> 00:00:43,700
You have a girlfriend?
16
00:00:43,784 --> 00:00:45,827
Had.
Sasha just broke up with me.
17
00:00:45,911 --> 00:00:48,372
Sasha?
18
00:00:48,456 --> 00:00:50,999
I even changed my name
to "Liam rodenstein."
19
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:53,043
Thought if being a black Jew
worked for Drake,
20
00:00:53,127 --> 00:00:54,127
it might work for me.
21
00:00:54,211 --> 00:00:56,171
- It didn't?
- Almost.
22
00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:58,382
Till she found out
I'm a Gallagher.
23
00:00:58,466 --> 00:00:59,925
What's going on?
24
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,677
Frank, drunk,
looking for a bed.
25
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,596
- Who the hell let him?
- Debbie?
26
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:05,236
Why can't he sleep
out on the porch?
27
00:01:05,321 --> 00:01:06,306
It's warm enough.
28
00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:08,531
I want my bed back!
29
00:01:08,616 --> 00:01:09,945
Oh, hell no!
30
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:13,105
Morning, frank.
31
00:01:13,189 --> 00:01:14,731
This is my house!
32
00:01:14,815 --> 00:01:17,068
It's okay, daddy.
You can sleep in my room.
33
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,945
Debbie stole a baby.
34
00:01:20,029 --> 00:01:21,780
- Why?
- It's Debbie.
35
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,240
Why would you steal
a little boy
36
00:01:23,324 --> 00:01:24,783
and dress him
like a little girl?
37
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,892
You took away aunt ginger.
38
00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:27,998
Who is aunt ginger?
39
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,038
Social security
wants to talk to ginger,
40
00:01:30,122 --> 00:01:32,290
and he was too lazy
to go get the real one.
41
00:01:32,374 --> 00:01:33,765
- She's dead.
- No!
42
00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:35,168
Debs, you never met her.
43
00:01:35,252 --> 00:01:37,087
And now I never will.
44
00:01:37,171 --> 00:01:38,839
- I'm in mourning.
- When did she die?
45
00:01:38,923 --> 00:01:41,258
Twelve years ago.
46
00:01:41,342 --> 00:01:43,881
You've been cashing her checks.
That's a felony.
47
00:01:43,966 --> 00:01:45,554
- What are we gonna do now?
- Well...
48
00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:47,681
- I like that one.
- Too lucid.
49
00:01:47,765 --> 00:01:49,016
What about her?
50
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:52,269
Everything is just
the way I remember it.
51
00:01:58,692 --> 00:02:01,111
- She was my friend.
- Why did you take the boy?
52
00:02:01,195 --> 00:02:02,592
He was crying,
and nobody cared.
53
00:02:02,677 --> 00:02:04,156
- So I took him.
- How'd you get him out?
54
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,908
I waved a snickers bar at him.
55
00:02:06,992 --> 00:02:09,911
Dear lord, thank you for this
food that we're about to eat,
56
00:02:09,995 --> 00:02:11,663
and please make
my brother Clayton
57
00:02:11,747 --> 00:02:14,249
burn in hell for all eternity
when the time comes.
58
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:15,459
Amen.
59
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:16,877
Amen.
60
00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:21,882
Liam, if you want a popsicle,
show me your hands.
61
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,508
Hands off your package,
or no treat!
62
00:02:23,592 --> 00:02:25,635
- I need my own room.
- Carl, quit it.
63
00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:28,221
- I'm gonna be a woman soon.
- Enough.
64
00:02:28,305 --> 00:02:29,473
I can't be in the same room
65
00:02:29,557 --> 00:02:31,475
where Liam is constantly
masturbating.
66
00:02:31,559 --> 00:02:33,435
It's not masturbating
if nothing comes out.
67
00:02:33,519 --> 00:02:35,562
Please, let me
catch my breath
68
00:02:35,646 --> 00:02:37,564
- shh.
- It's 1:00 A.M.
69
00:02:37,648 --> 00:02:39,483
Is that our Halloween candy?
70
00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:41,693
- Movie night.
- We have school in the morning.
71
00:02:41,777 --> 00:02:44,446
- Paranormal activity 3.
- Right?
72
00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:46,281
My buddy shot this at the amc.
73
00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:47,407
Okay please
74
00:02:47,491 --> 00:02:49,951
- it's rated r.
- For "really fucking scary."
75
00:02:50,035 --> 00:02:51,369
So sit there and learn.
76
00:02:51,453 --> 00:02:52,950
Whoa!
77
00:02:53,035 --> 00:02:55,178
- Get him in the coffin.
- Watch your head.
78
00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:57,084
Looks dead.
Hey, Carl, more ice.
79
00:02:57,168 --> 00:02:58,877
- Got it.
- Sorry for your loss.
80
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:02,255
It was a shock.
81
00:03:02,339 --> 00:03:03,924
I know you're faking it.
Come on!
82
00:03:04,008 --> 00:03:06,051
What's the matter with you?
Look at him, he's dead.
83
00:03:06,135 --> 00:03:08,303
- And you'll be going?
- Soon as he's in the ground.
84
00:03:10,598 --> 00:03:12,516
We need something to put
in the coffin.
85
00:03:14,435 --> 00:03:16,103
Okay.
86
00:03:16,187 --> 00:03:17,479
Ready?
87
00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:18,647
Lift.
88
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:21,108
Wait, she broke up with you
because you're a Gallagher?
89
00:03:21,192 --> 00:03:23,639
Yeah, says we're all crazy.
90
00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,028
Fuck that.
I'll fucking kill her.
91
00:03:25,112 --> 00:03:25,992
- Are you in?
- I'm in.
92
00:03:26,077 --> 00:03:27,572
We can inject the vid
into this bread.
93
00:03:27,656 --> 00:03:29,950
Leave it on her front steps.
She'll never see it coming.
94
00:03:30,034 --> 00:03:31,618
I don't think that's
how that works.
95
00:03:31,703 --> 00:03:33,286
What are you,
some kind of doctor?
96
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:35,205
You're both crazy.
97
00:03:35,289 --> 00:03:36,498
Tough break.
98
00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:38,083
Fuck you.
He said both of us.
99
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,377
- I'm not crazy!
- Huh.
100
00:03:44,715 --> 00:03:46,569
Watering the plants.
Ha!
101
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,009
I'm done with the flyer.
102
00:03:48,093 --> 00:03:49,886
It's "fundraiser,"
not "fun razor."
103
00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:52,013
Want to make them think
someone's getting cut.
104
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,224
No, no, no, no, no, no.
105
00:03:54,308 --> 00:03:56,351
The bat is for killing,
not for taking to school.
106
00:03:56,435 --> 00:03:59,646
Didn't Fiona tell you
to stop electrocuting dolls?
107
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:01,731
They have to pay
for their sins.
108
00:04:01,815 --> 00:04:03,606
I want to go to the forest
and kill something.
109
00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:06,111
The kids have been making
papier-mâché sculptures.
110
00:04:06,195 --> 00:04:07,529
This is Carl's.
111
00:04:07,613 --> 00:04:09,656
A papier-mâché
pile of shit.
112
00:04:09,740 --> 00:04:12,162
Who in the hell is raising
this degenerate?
113
00:04:12,247 --> 00:04:13,343
You should be coloring me
114
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:14,790
a thank-you note of gratitude
115
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,246
that the half of you
that came from me
116
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,925
wasn't spooged
on your mother's neck,
117
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,041
but instead was guided
by yours truly
118
00:04:20,125 --> 00:04:22,544
to get up inside of her
to start the life of you.
119
00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:25,088
So walk and talk
with gratitude, son.
120
00:04:25,172 --> 00:04:27,257
I was just kidding.
121
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,635
- How's your head?
- Little dizzy.
122
00:04:30,719 --> 00:04:32,679
You're fine.
Go eat some breakfast.
123
00:04:32,763 --> 00:04:34,014
Don't set the house on fire.
124
00:04:34,098 --> 00:04:36,016
Just kidding.
125
00:04:37,142 --> 00:04:40,104
Yo, yo, yo, destructo,
that's my toaster!
126
00:04:46,277 --> 00:04:47,277
What?
127
00:04:50,197 --> 00:04:51,347
Oh, shit!
128
00:04:51,432 --> 00:04:52,458
Where'd Carl go?
129
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,118
- Ninja!
- Carl, no!
130
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:56,578
Ah!
131
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,081
- No!
- Shit!
132
00:05:00,165 --> 00:05:02,042
Shit, Carl.
133
00:05:02,126 --> 00:05:03,419
That actually kinda worked.
134
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:15,096
- It's his first offense.
- His first criminal offense.
135
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:17,849
He's got double digit
suspensions at school.
136
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:19,768
If you pick on asshead again,
137
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,978
I'm gonna chew your nuts off
with my teeth.
138
00:05:22,062 --> 00:05:23,697
Heard you talking about
my little brother Liam
139
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:24,522
on the bus this morning.
140
00:05:24,606 --> 00:05:26,858
You mean
your retarded brother?
141
00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:29,361
He sent three kids
home with concussions,
142
00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:31,196
two with busted eardrums...
143
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,405
I think you broke my nose.
144
00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:34,491
...and one
with a ruptured testicle.
145
00:05:34,575 --> 00:05:36,618
It was gym.
Decided to play kickball.
146
00:05:36,702 --> 00:05:39,537
- What if he shows remorse?
- What's that?
147
00:05:39,621 --> 00:05:41,831
- It means you say you're sorry.
- I'm not.
148
00:05:41,915 --> 00:05:44,084
Lie.
149
00:05:44,168 --> 00:05:45,585
Shot a duck.
150
00:05:45,669 --> 00:05:47,879
That's no duck.
That's a bald eagle.
151
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,102
Ahhhh!
152
00:06:02,186 --> 00:06:05,063
Okay, I guess we are
a little crazy.
153
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:08,358
Yeah, well, can you blame us?
Look at our parents.
154
00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:09,567
Monica.
155
00:06:09,651 --> 00:06:11,403
You wanna go shopping?
156
00:06:11,487 --> 00:06:13,905
Oh, pretty girls' day out!
157
00:06:13,989 --> 00:06:15,740
Come on, let's go. Whoa!
158
00:06:15,824 --> 00:06:17,450
I got it.
159
00:06:17,534 --> 00:06:20,370
...why anyone
would go to the zoo sober.
160
00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:23,373
Hey, you having fun
back there?
161
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,376
Ah, Debbie.
162
00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:27,419
Hi, honey.
163
00:06:27,503 --> 00:06:28,545
Debs, now.
164
00:06:28,629 --> 00:06:30,505
Debs, you wanna come play?
165
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:32,007
- Yeah.
- No.
166
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,383
Monica's gotta go.
167
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:35,260
She's your mother, fi.
168
00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,720
You only get one.
169
00:06:36,804 --> 00:06:39,306
It's like watching a hurricane
head for shore.
170
00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,224
Good morning, sweetheart.
171
00:06:41,308 --> 00:06:42,350
Mom.
172
00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:44,254
We don't have any money.
173
00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:45,562
Oh, Liam!
174
00:06:45,646 --> 00:06:48,982
Look at you,
my little brown bear.
175
00:06:49,066 --> 00:06:50,942
Oh, look how big you are.
176
00:06:51,026 --> 00:06:54,071
- How long is she staying?
- Only forever and a day.
177
00:06:55,322 --> 00:06:57,073
I think this
must be the place.
178
00:06:57,157 --> 00:06:58,825
Can I get out?
It's hot in here.
179
00:06:58,909 --> 00:07:01,099
- No.
- Ow!
180
00:07:01,184 --> 00:07:01,870
Frank.
181
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,038
I came to get you out.
182
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,623
I told you,
I don't want out.
183
00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,167
Stop.
184
00:07:07,251 --> 00:07:09,169
Did you come?
185
00:07:09,253 --> 00:07:10,920
This is Jill.
186
00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:14,090
Jill, this is my husband,
frank.
187
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:18,387
Oops.
188
00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,390
Mom?
189
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:25,268
Come on, you and me.
We can take the new car.
190
00:07:25,352 --> 00:07:26,811
Can't get enough
Carl and mommy time.
191
00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:28,063
Do you need some new clothes?
192
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,647
We could stop at jcpenney.
193
00:07:29,731 --> 00:07:30,899
Hm.
I can drive.
194
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,567
No.
Do you have a license?
195
00:07:32,651 --> 00:07:34,569
Quick, quick, Carl,
switch places.
196
00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:36,404
Come on.
197
00:07:36,488 --> 00:07:37,864
Hi.
198
00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,325
You're supposed to be
wearing your seatbelt.
199
00:07:41,368 --> 00:07:43,411
Shit, Carl,
I shrunk your Jersey.
200
00:07:43,495 --> 00:07:46,414
- I thought you were Carl.
- This is little Hank.
201
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:48,375
- That's your mom?
- Hey, handsome.
202
00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:50,835
Made some cookies.
They're on the table.
203
00:07:56,383 --> 00:07:59,552
I love you, Debbie!
204
00:07:59,636 --> 00:08:00,762
Yeah, and frank.
205
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,973
Who was around just enough
to fuck us up.
206
00:08:04,558 --> 00:08:06,142
Cancer?
207
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:09,813
How did I get cancer?
208
00:08:09,897 --> 00:08:11,940
You musta caught it
from grammy, son.
209
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,651
If she had known that she
had the contagious kind,
210
00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:16,417
I don't think she would've
spent so much time with you
211
00:08:16,501 --> 00:08:18,279
in the basement, cooking meth.
212
00:08:18,363 --> 00:08:19,531
Excuse me.
213
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:21,825
My grandmother's
having an allergy attack,
214
00:08:21,909 --> 00:08:23,535
and I need to buy her
some sudafed,
215
00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:26,329
but I'm under 18, and her
driver's license was revoked.
216
00:08:26,413 --> 00:08:28,581
Can you please
buy it for her?
217
00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,892
You making meth?
218
00:08:30,024 --> 00:08:32,044
Free rock when we're
up and running.
219
00:08:33,504 --> 00:08:34,879
Am I going to die?
220
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:38,967
I hope not.
221
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:41,803
But right now,
we have to fight
222
00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,889
and fight hard.
223
00:08:44,806 --> 00:08:47,351
You ready to fight
with me, Carl?
224
00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:51,521
Why do we have to shave it?
225
00:08:51,605 --> 00:08:53,773
Didn't you ever see
any shows about cancer?
226
00:08:53,857 --> 00:08:56,360
Cancer people are always bald.
227
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:03,700
Jeez, I'm gonna look
like a penis.
228
00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:07,078
I'll get you a hat.
229
00:09:07,162 --> 00:09:09,247
I'll get you a hat.
230
00:09:12,626 --> 00:09:14,752
This is nice,
the two of us just hanging out,
231
00:09:14,836 --> 00:09:15,920
getting to know each other.
232
00:09:16,004 --> 00:09:17,422
We should do this more often.
233
00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:19,382
Wanna snort the next batch?
234
00:09:19,466 --> 00:09:20,300
No.
235
00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:22,260
My foster gays
have a lot of nice stuff.
236
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:25,305
Are you suggesting what
I think you're suggesting?
237
00:09:25,389 --> 00:09:26,473
iPods, computers.
238
00:09:26,557 --> 00:09:28,099
- How often they there?
- They work weekends.
239
00:09:28,183 --> 00:09:30,602
- Can you pick a lock?
- I have their security code.
240
00:09:34,565 --> 00:09:35,482
That's all right.
241
00:09:35,566 --> 00:09:37,358
Are you good with fractions?
242
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:38,485
Fractions of what?
243
00:09:38,569 --> 00:09:40,487
Like, if you have 1/16
of an ounce of something,
244
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:42,405
how many grams would that be?
245
00:09:42,489 --> 00:09:44,824
- Are you dealing drugs?
- No.
246
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,075
Basic overview.
247
00:09:46,159 --> 00:09:50,205
You got flaps, half g's, g's,
teeners, 8-balls, and ounces.
248
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:53,249
An ounce is 28 grams,
an 8-ball is 3.54,
249
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:57,045
and a teener is 1.77,
but the dealers round down.
250
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:59,964
So they pocket the extra .35.
You following?
251
00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:01,382
I might need
to write this down.
252
00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:02,967
- Frank.
- Yes, son?
253
00:10:03,051 --> 00:10:06,513
Why would a dude put his penis
in another dude's mouth?
254
00:10:06,597 --> 00:10:09,098
Sometimes men discover
things about themselves,
255
00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:12,936
like they prefer male genitalia
to female genitalia.
256
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:15,605
So some guys
like to lick wieners?
257
00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:17,732
Well, I'm sure at first
they're attracted
258
00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:19,275
to each other's build,
259
00:10:19,359 --> 00:10:21,319
and once a connection
gets made,
260
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,404
then the wieners get licked.
261
00:10:23,488 --> 00:10:24,656
What are you doing?
262
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:26,407
Making a little
easy summer moolah,
263
00:10:26,491 --> 00:10:27,367
the Gallagher way.
264
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:29,160
- Where's Liam?
- In the car.
265
00:10:29,244 --> 00:10:30,203
Did you crack a window?
266
00:10:30,287 --> 00:10:32,622
Left the engine running
for the ac.
267
00:10:32,706 --> 00:10:35,208
You left a toddler
in a running car
268
00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:37,085
in this neighborhood?
269
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:40,421
Stay.
Stay down.
270
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,966
Stay down!
271
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,720
What about Fiona?
She wasn't so bad.
272
00:10:47,804 --> 00:10:49,097
Who?
273
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:52,183
Oh!
274
00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:54,978
- Yeah!
- Come on, give me that arm.
275
00:10:55,062 --> 00:10:56,938
Liam's breaking it down.
276
00:10:57,022 --> 00:10:58,731
Must be nice
not to own a home
277
00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:00,108
and have to deal
with this stuff.
278
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:02,652
Yeah, it gives me more time
to buy drugs
279
00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:03,987
and fence stolen goods.
280
00:11:04,071 --> 00:11:05,613
Is something burning?
You smell that?
281
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,115
Oh, shit.
Shit!
282
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:08,533
Shit!
283
00:11:08,617 --> 00:11:11,286
Fuck, burn the house down.
284
00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:12,787
Okay, burn the food, too.
285
00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:14,247
I'm going through
something here.
286
00:11:14,331 --> 00:11:15,415
Yeah, looks like
you went through
287
00:11:15,499 --> 00:11:17,584
about five beverages
in an hour, Fiona.
288
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:18,751
Have another one.
289
00:11:18,835 --> 00:11:21,129
Hey, Hector, is there
any way that you could...
290
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,171
I can't this time, Fiona.
291
00:11:22,255 --> 00:11:23,965
It's not the first time
we got shut off.
292
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:24,882
Won't be the last.
293
00:11:24,966 --> 00:11:25,842
Is there any way
that you could
294
00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:27,051
scrape the money together
today?
295
00:11:27,135 --> 00:11:27,885
We have it.
296
00:11:27,969 --> 00:11:30,054
She just forgot to pay it.
297
00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,184
Fiona!
298
00:11:35,268 --> 00:11:36,936
Fiona!
299
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,688
- Oh, shit.
- What's on his face?
300
00:11:38,772 --> 00:11:39,772
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
301
00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:41,399
- Step back.
- Oh, my god.
302
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,442
Oh, my god.
303
00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:44,736
Ow! Ow!
Get off me!
304
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:46,988
- You are going to that clinic!
- You're hurting me!
305
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,239
- Ow!
- Stop it!
306
00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:51,367
Help, my sister's trying
to force me to get an abortion!
307
00:11:51,451 --> 00:11:52,806
Fiona!
308
00:11:52,891 --> 00:11:53,932
Get off her!
309
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:57,582
No, we are going
to that fucking clinic!
310
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,837
Fucking gallaghers.
311
00:12:03,463 --> 00:12:05,131
We never stood a chance.
312
00:12:05,215 --> 00:12:07,383
Jeez, no wonder why Liam's
so bummed out.
313
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,177
You're the one
saying we're crazy.
314
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,345
Why are you coming at me?
315
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:15,808
I will stab you
until you bleed to death
316
00:12:15,892 --> 00:12:16,901
if you don't quit it out.
317
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,936
We gotta empty
the pool out, Conrad.
318
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,263
You guys gotta
get out of here.
319
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:22,649
Go screw this end of the hose
into Tony's spigot
320
00:12:22,733 --> 00:12:23,983
so we can siphon the water out.
321
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,235
Or we could just
do it this way.
322
00:12:26,319 --> 00:12:27,779
Carl!
323
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:29,489
I'll patch it up next summer.
324
00:12:29,573 --> 00:12:30,990
See ya.
325
00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:33,368
Good luck getting laid smelling
like fried dough all day.
326
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,328
You always smell like that.
What's your excuse?
327
00:12:35,412 --> 00:12:37,246
Bitches and hormones.
328
00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:38,998
Ha.
329
00:12:40,041 --> 00:12:41,459
Ew, don't learn
from him, Liam.
330
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,378
He's disgusting.
331
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,629
What's this?
332
00:12:44,713 --> 00:12:45,880
Creepy art she's making
333
00:12:45,964 --> 00:12:47,090
'cause her boyfriend
dumped her.
334
00:12:47,174 --> 00:12:48,883
I'm expressing myself
creatively.
335
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,760
You're counting underarm hair
with a mirror.
336
00:12:50,844 --> 00:12:52,011
Check it out,
four new ones.
337
00:12:52,095 --> 00:12:53,221
Get off of me!
338
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:54,263
Who are you texting, debs?
339
00:12:54,347 --> 00:12:55,348
Her boyfriend.
340
00:12:55,432 --> 00:12:56,391
Shut up, Carl.
341
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,559
Why do guys care so much
about sex?
342
00:12:58,643 --> 00:13:00,019
Because it feels awesome.
343
00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:01,020
Like you would know.
344
00:13:01,104 --> 00:13:03,064
If my hand is anything
like the real thing,
345
00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:04,232
it's off the chain.
346
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:05,233
Shut up, zit head.
347
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,402
At least I got zits,
no-pubes girl.
348
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:08,528
Okay, enough.
349
00:13:08,612 --> 00:13:10,154
I plan to bang
as many chicks as I can
350
00:13:10,238 --> 00:13:12,198
and get so good at it
they even pay me to do it.
351
00:13:12,282 --> 00:13:14,826
Ha, yeah right.
You're in a wheelchair.
352
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,077
Chicks dig wheelchairs.
353
00:13:16,161 --> 00:13:18,496
I swear to god, if you lose
your virginity before I do,
354
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:21,500
I'll stab you to death
in your sleep.
355
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:24,460
We should go talk to him.
356
00:13:24,544 --> 00:13:27,588
You don't tell me to go.
I tell you to go.
357
00:13:27,672 --> 00:13:30,300
Let's go.
358
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:35,888
Liam, you don't need
a covid girlfriend.
359
00:13:35,972 --> 00:13:37,598
You don't even need
a girlfriend.
360
00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:40,017
They're complicated.
361
00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:42,145
Shit.
362
00:13:42,229 --> 00:13:43,396
Gallagher!
363
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,940
What are you doing here?
364
00:13:46,024 --> 00:13:47,942
Let me go.
365
00:13:48,026 --> 00:13:50,069
- Are you law enforcement?
- Friend.
366
00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:51,362
Let me go, Kelly.
367
00:13:51,446 --> 00:13:52,989
Oh, you're Kelly?
368
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:57,785
Now that's a woman.
369
00:13:57,869 --> 00:13:58,786
So what do you wanna do?
370
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:00,538
I can get my hands
on some firecrackers.
371
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,998
- Cool.
- It's fake.
372
00:14:02,082 --> 00:14:03,708
- Looks real!
- Empty the register!
373
00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:05,793
Yeah, I'm just gonna
hand over my money
374
00:14:05,877 --> 00:14:07,545
to the lollipop guild.
375
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,297
Whoa, shit!
376
00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:10,715
You said it was fake!
377
00:14:10,799 --> 00:14:12,967
Hey, what's shaking, cupcake?
378
00:14:13,051 --> 00:14:14,927
Ew, what's that stink?
379
00:14:15,011 --> 00:14:17,013
Smells like animal butt
and fireplace.
380
00:14:17,097 --> 00:14:18,431
Hey girl, I'm Carl.
381
00:14:18,515 --> 00:14:20,850
I'll just call you my angel.
382
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:22,894
That, ladies?
That's the smell of a real man.
383
00:14:22,978 --> 00:14:25,104
I always got room
for my number one boo thang.
384
00:14:25,188 --> 00:14:26,647
Do you have
a straight-up brain injury?
385
00:14:26,731 --> 00:14:28,065
You can ride my joint
if you want.
386
00:14:28,149 --> 00:14:29,984
Go away, muppet.
387
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,695
But I'm a cripple.
388
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:40,620
Grab those cupcakes
and get chocolate milk.
389
00:14:40,704 --> 00:14:43,998
- How many cartons?
- As much as you can carry.
390
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:45,792
You're fun,
you know that?
391
00:14:45,876 --> 00:14:47,335
Yeah, you too.
392
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,133
You're an officer and
a gentleman, Carl Gallagher.
393
00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:56,469
Only decent thing
is your brother.
394
00:14:56,553 --> 00:14:58,221
Next.
395
00:14:58,305 --> 00:15:00,306
We call him Carl-lingus.
396
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,433
I'm going back for seconds.
397
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:04,936
- Are you a virgin?
- Hell no.
398
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:06,395
- I am.
- Yeah, me too.
399
00:15:06,479 --> 00:15:09,357
I was thinking
maybe you and me...
400
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,859
- 48 condoms?
- In 32 hours.
401
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:13,402
You up for the challenge,
Gallagher?
402
00:15:13,486 --> 00:15:14,862
Uh, yeah.
403
00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:16,572
Then prove it, pussy.
404
00:15:16,656 --> 00:15:19,117
- 30 seconds or less?
- No problem.
405
00:15:20,076 --> 00:15:21,661
What the hell?
406
00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:23,663
How stupid do you think
I am, Carl?
407
00:15:23,747 --> 00:15:25,998
No, no!
408
00:15:26,082 --> 00:15:28,584
You lying piece of shit!
409
00:15:28,668 --> 00:15:29,919
Ow, ow, ow.
410
00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:32,004
Getting your ass kicked
by a girl again, Carl?
411
00:15:32,088 --> 00:15:34,215
- Is dom here?
- Nope.
412
00:15:34,299 --> 00:15:35,258
Wh... she's right there.
413
00:15:35,342 --> 00:15:36,509
Dad found out
that I was skipping
414
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:37,969
softball camp
to hang out with you.
415
00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:39,512
He'll kill you
if he finds you here.
416
00:15:39,596 --> 00:15:41,222
He only has one working limb.
417
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:43,933
That doesn't scare me.
418
00:15:44,017 --> 00:15:46,394
I'ma give you
a ten-second head start.
419
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,728
You better run, boy.
420
00:15:47,812 --> 00:15:49,564
Go!
Ten, nine...
421
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,190
I won't stop seeing you!
422
00:15:51,274 --> 00:15:52,942
- Dom, I won't stop seeing you!
- Eight.
423
00:15:53,026 --> 00:15:53,943
I always go down on you,
424
00:15:54,027 --> 00:15:55,444
but you don't ever
go down on me.
425
00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:57,363
Your thing has all this
extra skin,
426
00:15:57,447 --> 00:15:58,406
and it kinda freaks me out.
427
00:15:58,490 --> 00:15:59,949
I can do it, but I don't
recommend it.
428
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,784
I'd suggest you find
another girl.
429
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:02,827
I don't want another girl.
430
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,204
I cut the tip of my dick
off for you.
431
00:16:05,288 --> 00:16:06,372
Carl, meet shithead.
432
00:16:06,456 --> 00:16:07,999
Carl, the dude
who trimmed his dick?
433
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,251
- You're not circumcised?
- Hell no.
434
00:16:10,335 --> 00:16:11,919
I don't mind it anymore.
435
00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,171
You know she's got
gonorrhea, right?
436
00:16:14,255 --> 00:16:16,048
No one is ever gonna love you
437
00:16:16,132 --> 00:16:18,134
as hard as I do,
Carl Gallagher, no one.
438
00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:20,469
- Is that your blood?
- Yeah, it's your blood now.
439
00:16:20,553 --> 00:16:22,805
You possess me,
and vice versa.
440
00:16:22,889 --> 00:16:24,807
Here, come here.
441
00:16:24,891 --> 00:16:26,767
I'll try not to Nick
an artery.
442
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:29,229
Kas, where you at?
443
00:16:32,565 --> 00:16:35,151
Kas.
444
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:39,155
You really do love me.
445
00:16:41,408 --> 00:16:44,160
I will never be okay
with being away from you, bae!
446
00:16:44,244 --> 00:16:45,996
Never!
447
00:16:48,331 --> 00:16:49,582
Carl!
448
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,500
Carl, get off the bus!
449
00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:52,960
Get off the bus, Carl!
450
00:16:53,044 --> 00:16:55,922
Carl!
Carl, come back!
451
00:16:56,006 --> 00:16:57,548
I love you!
452
00:16:57,632 --> 00:17:00,426
Only two more days
until the end of school.
453
00:17:00,510 --> 00:17:02,762
Mrs. Gallagher's
waiting for you.
454
00:17:02,846 --> 00:17:05,181
I'm doing my kegels.
455
00:17:05,265 --> 00:17:06,641
I love you!
456
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,100
She's still at it.
457
00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:09,477
Carl, Carl, he's my man!
458
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,979
If he can't fuck me,
no one can!
459
00:17:12,063 --> 00:17:13,439
What are you doing?
460
00:17:13,523 --> 00:17:15,650
My friend Janice said
this is what you do
461
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:16,776
when a condom breaks.
462
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:21,072
Plan b, aisle two.
Monistat, aisle three.
463
00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:23,199
So are you done being a pussy
464
00:17:23,283 --> 00:17:26,452
and ready to get back to being
the man that I love?
465
00:17:26,536 --> 00:17:28,204
What?
466
00:17:28,288 --> 00:17:29,789
Damn, you're dense.
467
00:17:29,873 --> 00:17:33,542
Carl Francis hashish Gallagher.
468
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,753
Yo, Gallagher!
469
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,046
You're a disgrace, Gallagher.
470
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:38,339
I never want to see
your face again,
471
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:41,092
not on my campus and not ever
in my army.
472
00:17:41,176 --> 00:17:44,845
Yeah, baby!
Yeah!
473
00:17:44,929 --> 00:17:46,597
Carl, let's go.
474
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:50,060
Fuck the tent.
We're having sex in my room.
475
00:17:54,189 --> 00:17:56,399
Carl!
476
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,068
I better go.
477
00:17:59,152 --> 00:18:00,987
Yeah, I guess you better.
478
00:18:01,071 --> 00:18:03,322
If she's not gonna date you
because of your last name,
479
00:18:03,406 --> 00:18:05,074
just find someone else
who will.
480
00:18:05,158 --> 00:18:06,742
I don't want just someone.
481
00:18:06,826 --> 00:18:08,244
Yeah, well, you don't
wanna be lonely.
482
00:18:08,328 --> 00:18:09,996
Just find someone
who makes you laugh.
483
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,205
Or who's easy.
484
00:18:11,289 --> 00:18:12,206
No.
485
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:15,251
Find someone who
appreciates you for you.
486
00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:17,169
I mean, I've been in, like,
ten relationships,
487
00:18:17,253 --> 00:18:19,964
and they've all been
with wonderful people.
488
00:18:20,048 --> 00:18:23,009
Does this make you... cray?
489
00:18:23,093 --> 00:18:24,010
Uh-um...
490
00:18:24,094 --> 00:18:25,428
I really like him,
and I think it's time
491
00:18:25,512 --> 00:18:26,929
we take it
to the next level.
492
00:18:27,013 --> 00:18:28,431
Mm, how old are you now?
493
00:18:28,515 --> 00:18:29,265
Thirteen.
494
00:18:29,349 --> 00:18:30,641
What took you so long?
495
00:18:30,725 --> 00:18:32,393
Ha, this is why I came to you.
496
00:18:32,477 --> 00:18:34,020
Little Hank?
What does he like?
497
00:18:34,104 --> 00:18:35,938
I don't know, stuff.
Why?
498
00:18:36,022 --> 00:18:37,148
He doesn't even notice me.
499
00:18:37,232 --> 00:18:38,816
Are you sure you're sending
strong enough signals?
500
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,734
I've tried.
501
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,527
- Hi.
- Hi.
502
00:18:41,611 --> 00:18:42,945
Guys are pretty dumb.
503
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:44,947
Sometimes you have to put
something shiny in the window
504
00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:45,906
to get 'em in the store.
505
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:46,824
What are you doing?
506
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,367
I'm sending stronger signals.
507
00:18:48,451 --> 00:18:50,411
- There.
- This will get his attention.
508
00:18:50,495 --> 00:18:51,746
Who's your friend?
509
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,205
Think I may become a nun.
510
00:18:53,289 --> 00:18:55,124
Nuns don't have sex, right?
511
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:56,960
You look too pretty
to be a nun.
512
00:18:58,878 --> 00:19:00,129
What do you actually do?
513
00:19:00,213 --> 00:19:01,422
I mean, I've seen porn,
514
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:03,549
but I'm not sure I understand
all the technicalities.
515
00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:05,968
Show me your seductions face.
516
00:19:06,052 --> 00:19:07,511
What are you doing
wearing my top?
517
00:19:07,595 --> 00:19:09,221
Pheromones.
I'm borrowing them.
518
00:19:09,305 --> 00:19:10,097
Pheromones?
519
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:11,932
It's the thing boys like
about you.
520
00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:13,768
- You mean tits?
- Holy shit.
521
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,603
He is man.
You try seductions face.
522
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:17,104
What the hell
are you doing?
523
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:18,606
Five minutes ago,
you were a baby.
524
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,024
But she looks good, yes?
525
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,776
Agh!
I'm not answering that.
526
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:23,069
This means yes.
527
00:19:26,072 --> 00:19:27,448
- Where are you going?
- Out.
528
00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:29,492
Are those my boots?
529
00:19:32,078 --> 00:19:32,912
Are you okay?
530
00:19:32,996 --> 00:19:35,915
No, I gotta lie down.
531
00:19:35,999 --> 00:19:37,750
Matty accused me of raping him.
532
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:38,626
- What?
- I know!
533
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:39,794
You date raped me.
534
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:40,920
We were on a date?
535
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:43,839
No, Debbie,
you statutory raped yourself.
536
00:19:43,923 --> 00:19:46,467
He was drunk,
but his thing wasn't.
537
00:19:46,551 --> 00:19:47,551
I don't understand.
538
00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:48,928
Friends don't rape friends.
539
00:19:49,012 --> 00:19:51,430
Listen, debs,
a million guys would kill
540
00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:52,598
to be raped by you.
541
00:19:52,682 --> 00:19:55,643
Ugh, would you
shut up already?
542
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:58,687
- This is my house.
- Okay.
543
00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:00,231
She's putting
all that skank makeup on
544
00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:02,066
to get out of the friend zone
with that Derek dude.
545
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:03,400
We're not in the friend zone.
546
00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:04,693
- Talk to you later?
- Yeah.
547
00:20:04,777 --> 00:20:07,488
If he punches your arm,
it means you guys are friends.
548
00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:08,489
What the hell is going on?
549
00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:10,074
I don't want you
as my friend.
550
00:20:10,158 --> 00:20:11,617
I want you as my boyfriend.
551
00:20:11,701 --> 00:20:13,869
Look at me,
I'm nice, funny, smart,
552
00:20:13,953 --> 00:20:15,454
and I'd fuck up anyone
that hurts you.
553
00:20:15,538 --> 00:20:17,248
I'm sick of having
to change who I am
554
00:20:17,332 --> 00:20:18,415
or wait till I'm older.
555
00:20:18,499 --> 00:20:19,625
I'd be a great girlfriend,
556
00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:23,003
and if you can't see that,
screw you!
557
00:20:23,087 --> 00:20:24,713
- I like you too.
- You do?
558
00:20:24,797 --> 00:20:29,051
I am a woman!
559
00:20:29,135 --> 00:20:30,553
- Debbie.
- Larry?
560
00:20:30,637 --> 00:20:31,971
- I'm here with Scarlet.
- Hi.
561
00:20:32,055 --> 00:20:34,306
- Both of us are pregnant.
- I'm into pregnant girls.
562
00:20:34,390 --> 00:20:35,808
You are my only seven-monther.
563
00:20:35,892 --> 00:20:37,977
Oh, my god.
564
00:20:38,061 --> 00:20:39,145
- Whoa!
- Oh!
565
00:20:39,229 --> 00:20:40,271
Oh, I'm sorry.
566
00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:41,522
So let me get this straight.
567
00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:42,606
You have your own place,
568
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,567
your own money,
and nobody to take care of you.
569
00:20:44,651 --> 00:20:46,235
Excuse me,
are you lactating?
570
00:20:46,319 --> 00:20:48,154
He can't help it.
He has brain damage.
571
00:20:48,238 --> 00:20:49,613
Ah, your breath
smells like pop-tarts.
572
00:20:49,697 --> 00:20:51,866
You have a good ass; It
makes up for your small tits.
573
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,367
- Cute baby.
- No, it's not.
574
00:20:53,451 --> 00:20:55,578
I love you, Debbie.
575
00:20:57,205 --> 00:20:59,540
- I love you too.
- Yeah?
576
00:21:02,085 --> 00:21:03,919
Fuck yeah!
577
00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:06,172
Neil, what is it?
578
00:21:06,256 --> 00:21:08,257
Can you come home
and give me a sponge bath?
579
00:21:08,341 --> 00:21:09,717
- No.
- I'll do it.
580
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:10,676
Hey, guys.
581
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,553
Came home early to spend
some quality time.
582
00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:14,388
- Um...
- It's over, Debbie.
583
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:16,891
I'm in love with my nurse,
and you're a horrible person.
584
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:21,271
- Hey.
- Hey.
585
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:23,731
I think I might be gay.
586
00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,149
Have you had sex
with another woman?
587
00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:27,151
I did once, a woman
I was babysitting for.
588
00:21:27,235 --> 00:21:28,068
Oh, Debbie.
589
00:21:28,152 --> 00:21:29,862
Carl, hey.
Um, I need some help.
590
00:21:29,946 --> 00:21:31,197
Got any tips on gay sex?
591
00:21:31,281 --> 00:21:32,948
Do the shocker.
I'll text you a pic.
592
00:21:33,032 --> 00:21:34,825
No, no, no, Debbie.
Oh... ah!
593
00:21:34,909 --> 00:21:35,910
Oh-oh!
Deb-Debbie.
594
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:36,952
Oh, my god,
you're so cute.
595
00:21:37,036 --> 00:21:38,245
Have you been
with a girl since?
596
00:21:38,329 --> 00:21:40,164
Yep, I just made out
with one in a bathroom.
597
00:21:40,248 --> 00:21:41,165
Well, that's a start.
598
00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:42,791
I don't like talking
about my feelings.
599
00:21:42,875 --> 00:21:45,127
It's called lesbianism,
Debbie.
600
00:21:45,211 --> 00:21:46,253
It's what we do.
601
00:21:46,337 --> 00:21:48,297
I thought sex with women
is what lesbians do.
602
00:21:48,381 --> 00:21:50,633
Yeah, and you're bad
at that too.
603
00:21:52,051 --> 00:21:54,220
How did you guys know
that you were lesbians?
604
00:21:54,304 --> 00:21:55,846
You either like girls
or you don't.
605
00:21:55,930 --> 00:21:57,348
- I thought I did.
- Look at me.
606
00:21:57,432 --> 00:21:58,433
Oh, here we go.
607
00:22:07,525 --> 00:22:10,069
You like that?
608
00:22:10,153 --> 00:22:12,154
That's all the lesbian
you need to be.
609
00:22:12,238 --> 00:22:14,990
I met this awesome woman
last night at a hotel bar.
610
00:22:15,074 --> 00:22:17,243
She's older than me,
but not in a rapey way.
611
00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:18,494
What are you here for?
612
00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:22,539
I was hoping to have a good
conversation with a nice woman.
613
00:22:22,623 --> 00:22:24,708
Looks like I hit the jackpot.
614
00:22:24,792 --> 00:22:27,294
She's got this beautiful smile
and these bright eyes,
615
00:22:27,378 --> 00:22:30,047
and these sexy little
Lisa loeb glasses.
616
00:22:30,131 --> 00:22:31,298
- Debs.
- So anyways,
617
00:22:31,382 --> 00:22:33,467
we spent the night together
last night,
618
00:22:33,551 --> 00:22:36,136
and then she gave me this.
619
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:37,012
Holy shit.
620
00:22:37,096 --> 00:22:38,973
- Did you find it?
- Yeah!
621
00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:40,432
She thinks
you're a prostitute.
622
00:22:40,516 --> 00:22:41,392
What?
623
00:22:41,476 --> 00:22:42,768
Can you pick Julia up
after school?
624
00:22:42,852 --> 00:22:44,061
- Julia?
- My kid.
625
00:22:44,145 --> 00:22:45,604
Did I not tell you about her?
626
00:22:45,688 --> 00:22:47,898
You've really drunk
my mom's kool-aid, haven't you?
627
00:22:47,982 --> 00:22:50,526
Is that a sex thing?
'Cause probably.
628
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:52,945
You're doing the mom
and the daughter?
629
00:22:53,029 --> 00:22:55,239
- That's hot.
- It's going south fast.
630
00:22:55,323 --> 00:22:56,615
So Debbie and I are fucking.
631
00:22:56,699 --> 00:22:58,117
Excuse me?
632
00:22:58,201 --> 00:22:59,660
No screens for a week.
633
00:22:59,744 --> 00:23:01,453
We have an arrest warrant
for Deborah Gallagher.
634
00:23:01,537 --> 00:23:02,830
No shit.
What for?
635
00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:06,041
Statutory rape of a minor,
Julia nicolo.
636
00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:07,584
Fuck.
637
00:23:07,668 --> 00:23:09,461
We got a runner!
638
00:23:09,545 --> 00:23:12,047
- What's going on?
- When's your 18th birthday?
639
00:23:12,131 --> 00:23:14,342
Stop! Police!
640
00:23:15,301 --> 00:23:16,719
I can kinda understand
641
00:23:16,803 --> 00:23:18,262
why Sasha
wouldn't wanna be with me.
642
00:23:18,346 --> 00:23:20,472
Sorry, buddy, it's the family
you were born into.
643
00:23:20,556 --> 00:23:22,141
Just gotta embrace it.
644
00:23:22,225 --> 00:23:26,478
Why am I the only one in
the family that has black skin?
645
00:23:26,562 --> 00:23:28,647
Liam, ah!
646
00:23:28,731 --> 00:23:30,816
It has something to do
with Monica's granddad,
647
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,402
although we never really got
a straight answer.
648
00:23:33,486 --> 00:23:35,863
Hey, frank, do you know
who banged a black person
649
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:36,947
in our family lineage?
650
00:23:37,031 --> 00:23:38,741
This is your great-great aunt.
651
00:23:38,825 --> 00:23:41,910
Someone from your
mother's grandfather's side
652
00:23:41,994 --> 00:23:43,704
of the family had a mistress.
653
00:23:43,788 --> 00:23:45,831
Twice removed
on your third cousin's...
654
00:23:45,915 --> 00:23:48,208
Well, look, I'm not exactly
sure what the genealogy is.
655
00:23:48,292 --> 00:23:50,336
- And she was black?
- She is black.
656
00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:52,880
- Is she still alive?
- Lives down the street.
657
00:23:52,964 --> 00:23:54,673
Why didn't you tell me?
658
00:23:54,757 --> 00:23:56,383
Get away from the house,
frank.
659
00:23:56,467 --> 00:23:57,968
You know the rules.
660
00:23:58,052 --> 00:24:00,012
Baby come on give me,
won't you give me
661
00:24:00,096 --> 00:24:00,971
that's why, son.
662
00:24:01,055 --> 00:24:02,639
What's going on?
663
00:24:02,723 --> 00:24:04,516
Trying to figure out
who I am.
664
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,893
What's my identity.
665
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,603
Dr. King, Dr. Dre?
666
00:24:07,687 --> 00:24:09,688
Maybe you should
set your sights lower,
667
00:24:09,772 --> 00:24:11,482
you know, like tyga, Nelly,
668
00:24:11,566 --> 00:24:13,233
or maybe one of
the wayans brothers,
669
00:24:13,317 --> 00:24:14,402
or Lester holt.
670
00:24:16,571 --> 00:24:17,613
Can you dig it
671
00:24:17,697 --> 00:24:21,200
I, I, I
672
00:24:21,284 --> 00:24:23,077
can you dig it
673
00:24:23,161 --> 00:24:26,663
I, I, I
674
00:24:26,747 --> 00:24:28,624
can you dig it
675
00:24:28,708 --> 00:24:30,250
I, I, I
676
00:24:30,334 --> 00:24:31,877
I just want to know
who I am.
677
00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:33,504
You're a Gallagher, same as me.
678
00:24:33,588 --> 00:24:34,838
You just gotta embrace it.
679
00:24:34,922 --> 00:24:36,507
I hate to agree with Debbie,
680
00:24:36,591 --> 00:24:37,508
but she's right.
681
00:24:37,592 --> 00:24:39,968
Uh, sorry, one more time
for the people in the back.
682
00:24:40,052 --> 00:24:42,972
Just be a Gallagher.
683
00:24:44,015 --> 00:24:45,808
Be a Gallagher.
684
00:24:47,852 --> 00:24:50,020
Get everything you can.
685
00:24:50,104 --> 00:24:53,148
Raggedy looking stuff.
These are great.
686
00:24:53,232 --> 00:24:55,192
Gotta put it on the line
687
00:24:55,276 --> 00:24:57,778
don't let the death
of an orphaned African child
688
00:24:57,862 --> 00:25:00,864
be on your conscience
this holiday season.
689
00:25:00,948 --> 00:25:02,408
He has aids.
690
00:25:02,492 --> 00:25:05,202
Please, give money.
691
00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:06,453
Keep shivering,
that's really great.
692
00:25:06,537 --> 00:25:09,331
- Here, that's all I got, man.
- God bless you.
693
00:25:09,415 --> 00:25:10,666
Jesus loves you.
694
00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,793
Fuck you, frank.
695
00:25:12,877 --> 00:25:14,294
Do your thing, hey
696
00:25:14,378 --> 00:25:15,796
baby, just a taste.
697
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,923
Do your thing yeah
698
00:25:18,007 --> 00:25:19,341
do your thing
699
00:25:19,425 --> 00:25:21,802
don't give up,
do your thing
700
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,764
it's not working.
I'm sorry, man.
701
00:25:25,848 --> 00:25:27,057
Fucking meds.
702
00:25:27,141 --> 00:25:30,478
Could also be the toddler
staring at us from the corner.
703
00:25:31,395 --> 00:25:32,729
Can you take Liam
to head start on your way?
704
00:25:32,813 --> 00:25:35,190
Like I've done every day
for the last four months?
705
00:25:35,274 --> 00:25:36,900
Yes, I think
I can handle that.
706
00:25:36,984 --> 00:25:38,361
Come on, Liam!
707
00:25:40,613 --> 00:25:43,240
No, no, no.
No weapons in juvie.
708
00:25:43,324 --> 00:25:44,283
Where's Debbie?
709
00:25:44,367 --> 00:25:46,952
Said something
about going out to buy drugs.
710
00:25:47,036 --> 00:25:48,078
You couldn't stop her?
711
00:25:48,162 --> 00:25:49,288
I'm injured.
712
00:25:49,372 --> 00:25:50,706
Boom, boom, boom.
713
00:25:50,790 --> 00:25:52,916
That's right,
my little eggplant.
714
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,668
Boom, boom, boom.
715
00:25:54,752 --> 00:25:56,920
- Aw, fuck.
- What?
716
00:25:57,004 --> 00:25:58,255
She's dead.
717
00:25:58,339 --> 00:26:00,090
Isn't it past his bedtime?
718
00:26:00,174 --> 00:26:02,468
- Liam, no, don't look!
- Little late for that.
719
00:26:02,552 --> 00:26:05,053
Look, put the kid to bed, come
back, we'll deal with this.
720
00:26:05,137 --> 00:26:07,639
Come on, Debbie, go.
721
00:26:07,723 --> 00:26:08,891
Night, buddy.
722
00:26:09,308 --> 00:26:12,436
That girl Stella in there is
trying to hook up with me.
723
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,147
Cool.
Lucky you.
724
00:26:15,231 --> 00:26:17,024
What do I do?
725
00:26:17,733 --> 00:26:19,693
Take her up to your room.
Dim the lights.
726
00:26:19,777 --> 00:26:21,236
Strike a manly pose.
727
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,947
Put on some sexy music,
like Barry white.
728
00:26:24,031 --> 00:26:25,199
Do your thing
729
00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:28,661
son... what say
we pick up some hos?
730
00:26:30,580 --> 00:26:33,790
Your share of the bills
this month, $70.
731
00:26:33,874 --> 00:26:35,584
I don't have $70.
732
00:26:35,668 --> 00:26:37,044
Then make $70.
733
00:26:37,128 --> 00:26:40,047
- I'm nine.
- Figure it out.
734
00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:41,465
I hereby appoint you
735
00:26:41,549 --> 00:26:44,927
the Gallagher special
diplomatic envoy to Nigeria.
736
00:26:45,011 --> 00:26:47,346
Your first duty:
Help me sell a baby.
737
00:26:47,430 --> 00:26:50,098
Hot gay Jesus.
738
00:26:50,182 --> 00:26:52,684
Bet we can make money
off of that.
739
00:26:52,768 --> 00:26:53,727
How?
740
00:26:53,811 --> 00:26:56,146
Ring the right bell
for the right causes,
741
00:26:56,230 --> 00:26:58,398
the guilt-ridden
pry open their wallets.
742
00:26:58,482 --> 00:26:59,733
It's pavlovian.
743
00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:00,776
Don't miss out.
744
00:27:00,860 --> 00:27:02,903
All profits go to help gays
across the planet.
745
00:27:02,987 --> 00:27:05,322
Are we really gonna give
all of our money to Ian?
746
00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:08,075
No, of course not.
Thank you so much for waiting.
747
00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:10,160
Gay Jesus loves you
and blesses you.
748
00:27:10,244 --> 00:27:12,037
Time to expand
our business, son.
749
00:27:12,121 --> 00:27:13,747
Let's get 'em loaded in.
Welcome.
750
00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:16,041
We have a 16-hour journey
ahead of us.
751
00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:17,042
I'll help you.
752
00:27:17,126 --> 00:27:18,627
We'll play a little
get-to-know-you game
753
00:27:18,711 --> 00:27:21,296
as soon as you're
comfortably settled in.
754
00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,048
Boom.
755
00:27:23,132 --> 00:27:25,551
Step right up and help
build a border wall.
756
00:27:25,635 --> 00:27:26,635
A buck a brick.
757
00:27:26,719 --> 00:27:29,304
Keep illegals
out of the south side.
758
00:27:29,388 --> 00:27:30,347
Thank you.
759
00:27:30,431 --> 00:27:32,266
Thanks for making america
great again.
760
00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,017
Thank you.
761
00:27:34,101 --> 00:27:35,394
I wanna go to school, frank.
762
00:27:35,478 --> 00:27:37,646
Well, people in hell
want cold beer.
763
00:27:37,730 --> 00:27:38,647
What's in it for me?
764
00:27:38,731 --> 00:27:40,315
I'll call child services.
765
00:27:40,399 --> 00:27:43,652
You're my father.
You've abandoned me.
766
00:27:43,736 --> 00:27:44,778
Well played, son,
767
00:27:44,862 --> 00:27:47,948
but I'm re-abandoning you
right after this is done.
768
00:27:48,032 --> 00:27:49,199
I hate gallaghers.
769
00:27:49,283 --> 00:27:52,661
You motherfuckers bring out
the worst in everybody.
770
00:27:52,745 --> 00:27:53,787
What, you proud of that?
771
00:27:53,871 --> 00:27:56,332
Hey, man, I know who I am.
772
00:28:01,003 --> 00:28:03,297
Be a Gallagher.
773
00:28:03,381 --> 00:28:04,881
I think I can do that.
774
00:28:04,965 --> 00:28:06,800
Thank you.
This actually helped.
775
00:28:06,884 --> 00:28:08,635
I'm glad we could
have this talk.
776
00:28:08,719 --> 00:28:10,679
I can take it from here.
777
00:28:10,763 --> 00:28:13,473
Ah, I'm killing this shit.
778
00:28:13,557 --> 00:28:16,644
He's lucky to have me.
779
00:28:24,026 --> 00:28:25,652
- Is that my gun?
- Yeah.
780
00:28:25,736 --> 00:28:27,321
Is that franny's
cabbage patch?
781
00:28:27,405 --> 00:28:28,530
Yeah.
782
00:28:28,614 --> 00:28:32,034
You mind taking
a picture of me?
783
00:28:32,910 --> 00:28:33,994
What are you doing?
784
00:28:34,078 --> 00:28:35,829
Taking your advice on how
to land a girlfriend.
785
00:28:35,913 --> 00:28:37,789
Being a Gallagher,
leaning into it.
786
00:28:37,873 --> 00:28:40,500
- Leaning into what?
- Being a teen mom.
787
00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:49,051
Oh, shit.
788
00:28:49,135 --> 00:28:50,886
Oh, shit.
789
00:28:52,888 --> 00:28:54,640
Oh, fuck!
790
00:28:54,724 --> 00:28:57,059
Sorry.
791
00:28:57,143 --> 00:28:58,393
Don't embarrass me like that.
792
00:28:58,477 --> 00:29:01,521
You can't have a boy
in your bed.
793
00:29:01,605 --> 00:29:02,648
Why not?
You do.
794
00:29:02,732 --> 00:29:04,691
- I'm a grown-up.
- I'm pregnant.
795
00:29:04,775 --> 00:29:07,235
No, you're not.
796
00:29:07,319 --> 00:29:10,322
No, you're not.
Are you sure?
797
00:29:10,406 --> 00:29:13,241
- It's positive.
- So we're pregnant?
798
00:29:13,325 --> 00:29:15,202
Would you like to discuss
your options going forward?
799
00:29:15,286 --> 00:29:18,414
No, no, no, thank you.
We're having this baby.
800
00:29:22,626 --> 00:29:24,544
- You're not pregnant?
- I'm not.
801
00:29:26,964 --> 00:29:28,632
Hi, Mrs. D.
Is Derek here?
802
00:29:28,716 --> 00:29:31,635
He's moving to Florida
to live with his grandmother.
803
00:29:31,719 --> 00:29:32,886
I'm sorry.
804
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:34,012
He can't go to Florida!
805
00:29:34,096 --> 00:29:37,224
He's the father of my child!
806
00:29:37,892 --> 00:29:41,228
I'm carrying your grandchild!
807
00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:42,604
Can I help you?
808
00:29:42,688 --> 00:29:44,940
We'd like to talk to you
about the baby.
809
00:29:45,024 --> 00:29:47,275
What baby?
810
00:29:47,359 --> 00:29:49,820
Derek and Debbie's baby.
811
00:29:49,904 --> 00:29:51,530
Holy shit.
812
00:29:51,614 --> 00:29:53,073
What else did I miss?
813
00:29:53,157 --> 00:29:54,449
Lay down,
lay down, lay down.
814
00:29:54,533 --> 00:29:55,784
All right,
I'm gonna go get my truck
815
00:29:55,868 --> 00:29:56,952
so we can go to the hospital.
816
00:29:57,036 --> 00:29:58,161
No!
No hospital!
817
00:29:58,245 --> 00:29:59,871
- We don't have time to argue.
- Ahhh!
818
00:29:59,955 --> 00:30:01,415
No shit,
this baby is coming!
819
00:30:01,499 --> 00:30:03,208
- Now?
- She's crowning.
820
00:30:03,292 --> 00:30:04,835
- Oh.
- Who delivered Liam?
821
00:30:04,919 --> 00:30:06,545
Monica.
She was high.
822
00:30:06,629 --> 00:30:07,671
He slid right out.
823
00:30:07,755 --> 00:30:09,548
- You worked at a nursing home.
- Changing bedpans.
824
00:30:09,632 --> 00:30:12,342
I never delivered a damn baby.
825
00:30:12,426 --> 00:30:14,469
- It says we need towels!
- Already got 'em.
826
00:30:14,553 --> 00:30:17,639
Okay, okay, so put 'em under
to catch all the...
827
00:30:17,723 --> 00:30:19,725
Fuck, just put 'em under.
Shit!
828
00:30:19,809 --> 00:30:21,435
You're gonna start
pushing now, okay?
829
00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:22,894
- Uh-huh.
- All right, here we go.
830
00:30:22,978 --> 00:30:24,938
- All right.
- Ready and push!
831
00:30:25,022 --> 00:30:27,190
Push, Debbie, push.
832
00:30:29,235 --> 00:30:30,318
Eww.
833
00:30:30,402 --> 00:30:32,863
You gotta open your legs up.
834
00:30:32,947 --> 00:30:35,407
My daughter.
835
00:30:35,491 --> 00:30:37,284
She's so big.
836
00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:38,952
Hey, good morning, franny.
837
00:30:39,036 --> 00:30:40,579
Trying to set
a good example for franny.
838
00:30:40,663 --> 00:30:43,248
When life gets tough,
you smack a smile on your face
839
00:30:43,332 --> 00:30:44,082
and face the day.
840
00:30:44,166 --> 00:30:46,334
How is she so fucking perky?
841
00:30:46,418 --> 00:30:48,295
She's headed
for a major crash.
842
00:30:51,423 --> 00:30:52,549
Franny still asleep?
843
00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:53,968
Quiet!
844
00:30:59,723 --> 00:31:00,807
Ah, fuck!
845
00:31:00,891 --> 00:31:02,476
Everything terrifies me:
846
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,854
Sids, jaundice,
germs, reflux.
847
00:31:08,065 --> 00:31:09,650
I think the drugs
are kicking in.
848
00:31:24,248 --> 00:31:27,710
I can't do it, franny.
I'm not a good mother.
849
00:31:35,718 --> 00:31:39,513
Maybe all this
is a mistake
850
00:31:39,597 --> 00:31:43,809
that I can't seem to shake
851
00:31:43,893 --> 00:31:48,522
but the way we live
is the way we die
852
00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:51,066
holy shit,
it costs $4,000 new.
853
00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:53,401
Yeah, that's
going on Craigslist.
854
00:31:53,485 --> 00:31:54,861
We'll steal the stroller
someone wants
855
00:31:54,945 --> 00:31:58,281
instead of finding someone
who wants the stroller we have.
856
00:31:58,365 --> 00:32:00,200
Hi, you contacted me
857
00:32:00,284 --> 00:32:01,368
about the baby bugaboo?
858
00:32:01,452 --> 00:32:02,619
Yes, it's still here.
859
00:32:02,703 --> 00:32:03,912
How much did you want again?
860
00:32:03,996 --> 00:32:05,247
How about 1,500?
861
00:32:05,331 --> 00:32:06,331
You're haggling with me?
862
00:32:06,415 --> 00:32:07,541
Isn't that what Craigslist
is all about?
863
00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:10,085
It's also about people
advertising baby stuff
864
00:32:10,169 --> 00:32:12,045
and when the pregnant lady
shows up,
865
00:32:12,129 --> 00:32:15,423
they cut the baby
out of her stomach.
866
00:32:15,507 --> 00:32:17,050
We have such
a bright life now.
867
00:32:17,134 --> 00:32:21,137
Double stroller.
We could get a lot for that.
868
00:32:27,353 --> 00:32:28,520
Shit.
869
00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:35,652
So my two role models
are either a teen mom
870
00:32:35,736 --> 00:32:36,820
or a white boy drug dealer.
871
00:32:40,532 --> 00:32:41,533
All right, I'm out.
872
00:32:41,617 --> 00:32:43,869
Off to deal drugs
on a Saturday morning?
873
00:32:43,953 --> 00:32:44,995
Yep.
874
00:32:45,079 --> 00:32:46,204
Impressive work ethic, son.
875
00:32:46,288 --> 00:32:48,039
What's in those bags, Carl?
876
00:32:48,123 --> 00:32:49,791
Horse.
877
00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:52,085
Why are you taping horse
to my tummy?
878
00:32:52,169 --> 00:32:54,629
'Cause I'm your uncle,
and you're my niece,
879
00:32:54,713 --> 00:32:56,882
and you do what I say.
880
00:32:56,966 --> 00:32:59,051
Okay, uncle Carl.
881
00:33:05,808 --> 00:33:06,809
Whoo
882
00:33:12,064 --> 00:33:14,149
You alone?
883
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:15,859
Uncle Carl!
884
00:33:15,943 --> 00:33:17,569
Chicago police, open up!
885
00:33:17,653 --> 00:33:19,613
Go, run.
886
00:33:29,206 --> 00:33:30,457
Put your hands
in the air now!
887
00:33:30,541 --> 00:33:33,209
All right, don't shoot!
I'm white!
888
00:33:33,293 --> 00:33:34,753
Do you regret what
you've done, Carl?
889
00:33:34,837 --> 00:33:36,129
I did something really dumb,
890
00:33:36,213 --> 00:33:37,756
and I shouldn't have.
891
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:41,593
I trusted a fucking retard
with a man's job.
892
00:33:41,677 --> 00:33:43,053
Next time I move
a bunch of drugs,
893
00:33:43,137 --> 00:33:44,512
I'll be smarter.
894
00:33:44,596 --> 00:33:46,765
That's not what
I was hoping to hear.
895
00:33:46,849 --> 00:33:48,099
I know what you were
hoping to hear.
896
00:33:48,183 --> 00:33:50,268
If your honor
would lose 20 pounds,
897
00:33:50,352 --> 00:33:52,395
I would consider tapping that.
898
00:33:52,479 --> 00:33:54,272
I sentence you to the maximum
of one year
899
00:33:54,356 --> 00:33:55,649
at the Illinois department
of corrections
900
00:33:55,733 --> 00:33:57,275
juvenile justice division.
901
00:33:57,359 --> 00:33:58,652
Yes, please.
902
00:33:58,736 --> 00:34:00,904
Why the fuck
did you do that, Carl?
903
00:34:00,988 --> 00:34:03,615
My street cred
will be off the chain.
904
00:34:03,699 --> 00:34:06,117
- We'll send letters.
- He'll be okay.
905
00:34:06,201 --> 00:34:07,369
Hell, he's gonna be
running the joint.
906
00:34:07,453 --> 00:34:09,287
Any chance he'll get
scared straight?
907
00:34:09,371 --> 00:34:10,622
- No.
- Hell no.
908
00:34:13,709 --> 00:34:15,669
I know what you did.
Kept your mouth shut.
909
00:34:15,753 --> 00:34:18,838
Coulda gave him up, coulda made
things easier for yourself.
910
00:34:18,922 --> 00:34:19,756
Word.
911
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,050
- Forty-nine, fifty.
- Gallagher.
912
00:34:22,134 --> 00:34:22,884
Ready to go?
913
00:34:22,968 --> 00:34:24,761
Sweat
914
00:34:24,845 --> 00:34:26,680
work
915
00:34:26,764 --> 00:34:27,514
sweat
916
00:34:27,598 --> 00:34:29,432
white boy Carl!
917
00:34:29,516 --> 00:34:31,726
White boy Carl!
White boy Carl!
918
00:34:31,810 --> 00:34:34,521
White boy Carl!
White boy Carl!
919
00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:35,730
White boy Carl!
920
00:34:35,814 --> 00:34:36,899
Hey
921
00:34:41,111 --> 00:34:42,529
where you want these at,
Mr. Gallagher?
922
00:34:42,613 --> 00:34:44,489
Right over there with
the rest of the shipment.
923
00:34:44,573 --> 00:34:46,032
What the hell
is going on?
924
00:34:46,116 --> 00:34:48,118
Upgraded the crib since
it's technically mine now.
925
00:34:48,202 --> 00:34:50,620
Ah, not with my name
on the deed, it's not.
926
00:34:50,704 --> 00:34:51,579
My money, it is.
927
00:34:51,663 --> 00:34:52,872
Place gonna be popping.
You feel me?
928
00:34:52,956 --> 00:34:56,668
Shut your mouth,
shut up
929
00:34:56,752 --> 00:34:59,379
- shut your mouth
-thug for life, homes.
930
00:34:59,463 --> 00:35:00,755
- I gotta bounce.
- Bye
931
00:35:00,839 --> 00:35:02,173
you stay out front
while I go in
932
00:35:02,257 --> 00:35:04,759
and offer Mr. Wu a little
neighborhood protection policy.
933
00:35:04,843 --> 00:35:08,680
Who brings the fight
to your door like us
934
00:35:08,764 --> 00:35:11,224
like taking candy
from an Asian dry cleaner.
935
00:35:11,308 --> 00:35:12,517
Where you getting
all this money?
936
00:35:12,601 --> 00:35:13,685
Job, saved up.
937
00:35:13,769 --> 00:35:15,603
You better not be selling
drugs again, Carl.
938
00:35:15,687 --> 00:35:16,730
No.
939
00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:18,064
Next.
940
00:35:18,148 --> 00:35:19,524
You know why you're here?
941
00:35:19,608 --> 00:35:21,109
I need to buy a gun.
942
00:35:21,193 --> 00:35:22,777
Glock 17.
943
00:35:22,861 --> 00:35:25,113
A mere $300.
944
00:35:25,197 --> 00:35:26,197
Walk tall.
945
00:35:26,281 --> 00:35:27,741
- Students talk.
- So?
946
00:35:27,825 --> 00:35:28,950
I want a Glock.
947
00:35:29,034 --> 00:35:31,953
A nine-millimeter semi
with an extended mag.
948
00:35:32,037 --> 00:35:34,539
We're talking about
a Smith & Wesson lady model.
949
00:35:34,623 --> 00:35:37,917
Pink handle would be nice.
950
00:35:38,001 --> 00:35:40,128
Gun!
951
00:35:40,212 --> 00:35:42,464
Get your hands in the air
952
00:35:42,548 --> 00:35:44,549
and say yeah
953
00:35:44,633 --> 00:35:45,717
what are you doing?
954
00:35:45,801 --> 00:35:47,927
The new-and-improved Liam,
or lil g for short.
955
00:35:48,011 --> 00:35:50,513
Are you sure you're not just
leaning into black stereotypes?
956
00:35:50,597 --> 00:35:53,641
No, I'm leaning into
being a Gallagher.
957
00:35:53,725 --> 00:35:56,436
Okay, I'm going live.
958
00:35:57,437 --> 00:35:58,229
What up, what up?
959
00:35:58,313 --> 00:35:59,564
It's your boy lil g
960
00:35:59,648 --> 00:36:01,524
coming at you live
from the Gallagher house.
961
00:36:01,608 --> 00:36:03,944
Let me give you a tour.
962
00:36:05,821 --> 00:36:07,655
Is that what he
really thinks of us?
963
00:36:07,739 --> 00:36:08,656
Yeah.
964
00:36:08,740 --> 00:36:10,617
We did what we had
to do to survive.
965
00:36:12,536 --> 00:36:14,537
You in this game for life,
motherfucker.
966
00:36:14,621 --> 00:36:15,830
I need to get out of the game.
967
00:36:15,914 --> 00:36:17,290
Can I get my old job back?
968
00:36:17,374 --> 00:36:19,001
I need money
for military school.
969
00:36:21,420 --> 00:36:22,545
Oh, what the fuck?
970
00:36:22,629 --> 00:36:24,255
Shit, I got him.
971
00:36:25,549 --> 00:36:27,592
I see you found the
little copper treat I left you.
972
00:36:27,676 --> 00:36:28,510
Who are you?
973
00:36:28,594 --> 00:36:29,761
I'm your worst
fucking nightmare.
974
00:36:29,845 --> 00:36:32,388
You know what makes a man?
Discipline.
975
00:36:32,472 --> 00:36:33,640
Conviction.
976
00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:34,891
Strength of character.
977
00:36:34,975 --> 00:36:39,521
Deciding against all odds
you alone define your destiny.
978
00:36:39,605 --> 00:36:41,439
I want to be able to see
my face in these
979
00:36:41,523 --> 00:36:43,024
by the end of the day.
980
00:36:43,108 --> 00:36:44,317
Well, I can lend you
the money.
981
00:36:44,401 --> 00:36:46,402
No, I need to earn my own way
back into school.
982
00:36:46,486 --> 00:36:48,196
I already got someone
on dishes.
983
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,115
I'll empty and clean
the grease trap.
984
00:37:00,125 --> 00:37:03,461
Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
what the fuck is that smell?
985
00:37:03,545 --> 00:37:05,630
Fuck, it's like
rotten, rancid eggs.
986
00:37:05,714 --> 00:37:07,423
No time to shower.
987
00:37:07,507 --> 00:37:08,883
"Need the car to make money?
988
00:37:08,967 --> 00:37:11,469
Thanks.
Carl."
989
00:37:11,553 --> 00:37:13,304
- You called for an Uber?
- You Kendrick?
990
00:37:13,388 --> 00:37:15,348
- I'm Carl. Where you going?
- No thank you.
991
00:37:15,432 --> 00:37:18,059
I charge ten bucks less than
whatever you were gonna pay.
992
00:37:18,143 --> 00:37:20,270
Okay.
993
00:37:20,354 --> 00:37:23,106
Carl, I said no Uber.
That's my car!
994
00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:26,568
You can't just take it
whenever you feel like it.
995
00:37:27,236 --> 00:37:29,445
You did it, man.
You're clean.
996
00:37:29,529 --> 00:37:30,530
Thank you.
997
00:37:30,614 --> 00:37:31,823
Who the hell is this?
998
00:37:31,907 --> 00:37:33,074
This is my girlfriend.
999
00:37:33,158 --> 00:37:34,450
I was at Betty Ford
three times.
1000
00:37:34,534 --> 00:37:36,744
It didn't work for me,
cost a fortune.
1001
00:37:36,828 --> 00:37:38,246
You cleaned me up
in five days.
1002
00:37:38,330 --> 00:37:39,330
Here.
1003
00:37:39,414 --> 00:37:41,207
That's five grand
from my parents.
1004
00:37:41,291 --> 00:37:45,086
Plus, Nora-Jean's folks
are gonna give you 2,500
1005
00:37:45,170 --> 00:37:48,339
for the beaver trap
detox special.
1006
00:37:48,423 --> 00:37:51,467
In 72 hours, you will be
free of your addiction.
1007
00:37:51,551 --> 00:37:53,428
Livestock's been fed
and watered, sir.
1008
00:37:53,512 --> 00:37:55,680
Jesus, Carl, your
involuntary detox program
1009
00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:56,973
is stinking up
the whole house.
1010
00:37:57,057 --> 00:37:58,057
It smells like
afterbirth down there.
1011
00:37:58,141 --> 00:37:59,684
I will now begin intake.
1012
00:37:59,768 --> 00:38:01,769
State your name
and your parents' net worth
1013
00:38:01,853 --> 00:38:04,063
in a loud and clear voice.
1014
00:38:04,147 --> 00:38:07,025
I know you're selling vape pens
to little Mexican kids,
1015
00:38:07,109 --> 00:38:08,735
and I want to go
into business with you.
1016
00:38:08,819 --> 00:38:09,861
We'll split profits 50/50.
1017
00:38:09,945 --> 00:38:11,237
Liam and I will go
to the playground,
1018
00:38:11,321 --> 00:38:14,616
round up new buyers,
and here is your supplies.
1019
00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:15,533
Menthol?
1020
00:38:15,617 --> 00:38:18,120
Trust me, my customers
will love it.
1021
00:38:19,538 --> 00:38:20,663
You can ride with me.
1022
00:38:20,747 --> 00:38:21,956
We'll get to know
each other better.
1023
00:38:25,294 --> 00:38:26,502
He's running.
1024
00:38:26,586 --> 00:38:28,630
Stay in the car.
1025
00:38:30,215 --> 00:38:32,550
Hey, stop!
1026
00:38:33,635 --> 00:38:36,054
- Who the hell are you?
- The law, motherfucker!
1027
00:38:36,138 --> 00:38:38,307
Don't hit your head
on the way in, punk.
1028
00:38:42,019 --> 00:38:43,061
Well, I'll be damned.
1029
00:38:43,145 --> 00:38:45,980
You got any more tricks
up your sleeve?
1030
00:38:46,064 --> 00:38:48,066
Thanks for the ride,
sergeant winslow.
1031
00:38:48,150 --> 00:38:49,525
What was all that about?
1032
00:38:49,609 --> 00:38:51,027
Think I wanna be a cop.
1033
00:38:51,111 --> 00:38:52,737
I'm here to join
the police academy.
1034
00:38:52,821 --> 00:38:54,447
I have three skills
to offer you, sir.
1035
00:38:54,531 --> 00:38:56,741
I like to choke things,
I'm good with weapons,
1036
00:38:56,825 --> 00:38:58,493
and I got a buttload
of rage in my heart.
1037
00:38:58,577 --> 00:39:00,787
I think I've got a place
better suited for your talent.
1038
00:39:00,871 --> 00:39:02,121
Sanitation department.
1039
00:39:02,205 --> 00:39:03,790
Breakfast is served.
1040
00:39:03,874 --> 00:39:05,458
You guys eat
out of the garbage?
1041
00:39:05,542 --> 00:39:06,709
You just show up
out of nowhere,
1042
00:39:06,793 --> 00:39:08,711
acting like you're too good
to eat a dumpster bagel.
1043
00:39:08,795 --> 00:39:10,838
Strikes me as
a little suspicious.
1044
00:39:10,922 --> 00:39:12,090
Eat.
1045
00:39:12,174 --> 00:39:13,758
Except cinnamon raisin.
Those go to the boss man.
1046
00:39:13,842 --> 00:39:15,510
Suddenly magic
1047
00:39:15,594 --> 00:39:17,929
we're finishing up.
1048
00:39:18,013 --> 00:39:20,015
Move it up.
1049
00:39:21,308 --> 00:39:22,851
Come on back.
1050
00:39:26,438 --> 00:39:27,355
Fuck that guy.
1051
00:39:27,439 --> 00:39:28,690
Beautiful world
1052
00:39:29,775 --> 00:39:31,693
we ain't got
no free services, you heard?
1053
00:39:31,777 --> 00:39:33,236
So give us what you owe,
or we're gonna be
1054
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,780
at every open house you got.
1055
00:39:35,864 --> 00:39:37,198
What's up with
the open house thing?
1056
00:39:37,282 --> 00:39:40,076
You ask a lot
of questions, Gallagher.
1057
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,828
- You a cop, Carl?
- Hell no.
1058
00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:43,788
Sir, garbage is dirty.
1059
00:39:43,872 --> 00:39:45,456
Keep it up.
You're gonna make one hell
1060
00:39:45,540 --> 00:39:47,166
of a cop someday, Gallagher.
1061
00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:49,085
See, it's not all bad.
1062
00:39:49,169 --> 00:39:51,462
Yeah, well, I made something
of myself.
1063
00:39:51,546 --> 00:39:54,299
How am I gonna afford $375?
1064
00:39:54,383 --> 00:39:56,634
- You could get a job.
- Is the alibi hiring?
1065
00:39:56,718 --> 00:39:57,760
I need to get a job.
1066
00:39:57,844 --> 00:40:00,513
I wanted to ask if it would
be okay if I worked here.
1067
00:40:00,597 --> 00:40:04,309
That's 75 cents a pound.
That will be $13.50, please.
1068
00:40:04,393 --> 00:40:05,351
You overcharged her.
1069
00:40:05,435 --> 00:40:06,853
It's 50 cents a pound.
Sign's in the window.
1070
00:40:06,937 --> 00:40:08,313
I took that sign down.
1071
00:40:08,397 --> 00:40:09,689
Fifty cents a pound is low.
1072
00:40:09,773 --> 00:40:11,983
As long as it's under a dollar,
nobody really does the math,
1073
00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:13,985
and we increase profits by 50%.
1074
00:40:14,069 --> 00:40:15,528
Smart.
1075
00:40:17,656 --> 00:40:20,241
That'll show those
misogynistic motherfuckers.
1076
00:40:20,325 --> 00:40:22,785
Only two dicks left.
1077
00:40:22,869 --> 00:40:23,911
- En garde!
- Ooh!
1078
00:40:25,163 --> 00:40:26,748
Okay, who's next?
1079
00:40:33,839 --> 00:40:37,134
- You cunt!
- I tried to be nice.
1080
00:40:38,718 --> 00:40:39,761
Open the gate.
1081
00:40:39,845 --> 00:40:41,847
And good afternoon
to you too, sir.
1082
00:40:54,109 --> 00:40:57,320
Who the fuck welded
a dumpster to my fucking car?
1083
00:40:59,781 --> 00:41:02,117
Okay, now let's do
some without my helmet.
1084
00:41:05,162 --> 00:41:06,704
How does my hair look?
1085
00:41:06,788 --> 00:41:08,331
I don't know, red?
1086
00:41:08,415 --> 00:41:09,832
Just take the pictures.
1087
00:41:09,916 --> 00:41:11,209
What do you need these for?
1088
00:41:11,293 --> 00:41:13,169
I'm trying to get
some freelance welding work.
1089
00:41:13,253 --> 00:41:16,005
Hi, I'm here to discuss
payment options for my class,
1090
00:41:16,089 --> 00:41:17,465
advanced arc welding,
second level.
1091
00:41:17,549 --> 00:41:20,134
Bring this back tomorrow
with 300 bucks.
1092
00:41:20,218 --> 00:41:22,804
Added to the 200
that you already put down,
1093
00:41:22,888 --> 00:41:25,139
that's 20% of the tuition.
1094
00:41:25,223 --> 00:41:27,350
I can't bend past that.
1095
00:41:27,434 --> 00:41:28,684
Thank you.
1096
00:41:30,312 --> 00:41:31,896
Toto!
1097
00:41:31,980 --> 00:41:34,899
Toto, Toto, stop.
1098
00:41:36,485 --> 00:41:38,236
- Go.
- Yo, ditch the weed!
1099
00:41:44,326 --> 00:41:45,701
What the hell?
1100
00:41:45,785 --> 00:41:47,203
Is that what
you've been barking at?
1101
00:41:47,287 --> 00:41:49,163
Think I may have
a cheap supplier
1102
00:41:49,247 --> 00:41:50,415
who specializes in weed.
1103
00:41:50,499 --> 00:41:53,376
How much do we need to sell
to make 300 bucks by tomorrow?
1104
00:41:53,460 --> 00:41:55,837
I can unload it.
Who's your supplier?
1105
00:41:55,921 --> 00:41:58,381
He goes by
the street name Toto.
1106
00:42:07,849 --> 00:42:09,476
Good boy, Toto.
1107
00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:17,650
Ah, mommy's gonna get
her tuition.
1108
00:42:17,734 --> 00:42:19,902
Hi, sign me up
for second semester, please.
1109
00:42:19,986 --> 00:42:23,198
Oh, it's good to see
you made it back.
1110
00:42:25,659 --> 00:42:27,410
Don't ask.
1111
00:42:27,494 --> 00:42:29,287
You guys,
farhad found me a temp job
1112
00:42:29,371 --> 00:42:30,705
that pays 40 bucks an hour.
1113
00:42:30,789 --> 00:42:32,540
- Oh, yeah?
- Some nighttime welding gig.
1114
00:42:32,624 --> 00:42:35,084
Oh, nighttime welding.
Sounds kinda sketchy, debs.
1115
00:42:35,168 --> 00:42:37,545
It took me two weeks
to make 300 bucks walking dogs.
1116
00:42:37,629 --> 00:42:39,589
I can handle sketchy.
1117
00:42:39,673 --> 00:42:41,549
Hey, scab motherfucker!
1118
00:42:43,051 --> 00:42:45,511
Go, go!
Fucking run!
1119
00:42:45,595 --> 00:42:48,264
Debbie, Debbie, run!
1120
00:42:48,348 --> 00:42:50,892
Come here, you motherfucker!
1121
00:42:52,018 --> 00:42:54,020
Shit!
1122
00:42:56,356 --> 00:42:57,940
It's wrong and it's dangerous.
1123
00:42:58,024 --> 00:42:59,150
I'm never being a scab again.
1124
00:42:59,234 --> 00:43:01,444
Hey, I just got a tip
for another gig.
1125
00:43:01,528 --> 00:43:03,404
Pays even more.
1126
00:43:03,488 --> 00:43:04,405
I'm in.
1127
00:43:08,034 --> 00:43:09,410
Debbie!
1128
00:43:09,494 --> 00:43:11,954
Call 911!
1129
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:17,502
Whoa.
1130
00:43:17,586 --> 00:43:19,170
Okay, just how we practiced.
1131
00:43:19,254 --> 00:43:21,547
Start with the little one,
cut the joint.
1132
00:43:21,631 --> 00:43:25,051
Once you start, do not stop
until you cut off all three.
1133
00:43:29,347 --> 00:43:31,224
Ow! Fuck!
1134
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:32,808
Okay, let's do this.
1135
00:43:32,892 --> 00:43:34,894
I can see it
in your eyes now
1136
00:43:37,981 --> 00:43:40,399
it ain't no secret and there
won't be no surprise now
1137
00:43:40,483 --> 00:43:41,860
shit!
1138
00:43:44,571 --> 00:43:46,822
Seen that look
on you before
1139
00:43:46,906 --> 00:43:49,951
there's only one way
this can go
1140
00:43:50,035 --> 00:43:53,079
what you waiting for
1141
00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:56,207
I know you like it
1142
00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:59,210
I know you do
1143
00:43:59,294 --> 00:44:02,797
I know you crave it,
I know
1144
00:44:02,881 --> 00:44:04,340
what you waiting for
1145
00:44:04,424 --> 00:44:07,051
I mean, I'm a much
better role model to Liam.
1146
00:44:07,135 --> 00:44:08,427
You'll always be a teen mom.
1147
00:44:08,511 --> 00:44:09,720
Okay, white boy Carl.
1148
00:44:09,804 --> 00:44:11,138
Do you want some mayonnaise
to go along
1149
00:44:11,222 --> 00:44:12,306
with that cultural
appropriation?
1150
00:44:12,390 --> 00:44:13,766
Fuck you, 15 and pregnant.
1151
00:44:13,850 --> 00:44:15,893
Mtv ain't shit anymore,
and neither are you.
1152
00:44:15,977 --> 00:44:18,479
Well, at least I didn't turn
on my own and become a cop.
1153
00:44:18,563 --> 00:44:20,648
At least I can wear
open-toed shoes.
1154
00:44:26,780 --> 00:44:28,155
Are you serious?
1155
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:29,865
Fight me, bitch.
1156
00:44:35,664 --> 00:44:37,206
Ow!
1157
00:44:37,290 --> 00:44:39,208
- Who are you?
- Kyle.
1158
00:44:39,292 --> 00:44:40,251
What's your business here?
1159
00:44:40,335 --> 00:44:41,627
I may or may not be related
1160
00:44:41,711 --> 00:44:43,254
to your neighbor, Kevin.
1161
00:44:43,338 --> 00:44:46,048
Yo, period!
Period!
1162
00:45:02,857 --> 00:45:04,317
Yes!
1163
00:45:04,401 --> 00:45:07,695
Oh, my god, I totally
almost drowned a slut.
1164
00:45:07,779 --> 00:45:09,447
What's the matter with you?
1165
00:45:12,075 --> 00:45:14,327
Oh, it was
a piece of shit anyway.
1166
00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:21,500
Never heard of that.
1167
00:45:21,584 --> 00:45:23,669
A girl who had to rape a boy
to get laid.
1168
00:45:23,753 --> 00:45:26,339
How does that work?
1169
00:45:33,346 --> 00:45:34,805
Hey!
1170
00:45:37,392 --> 00:45:40,978
Get off of me!
You slut!
1171
00:45:41,062 --> 00:45:42,396
Mama.
1172
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,151
You do not f
with Debbie Gallagher!
1173
00:45:48,570 --> 00:45:51,238
You know what I think
is hilarious?
1174
00:45:51,322 --> 00:45:53,074
Carl, not the...
Not the vagina pillow.
1175
00:45:53,158 --> 00:45:55,159
Seriously, I... no.
I've been working on that all...
1176
00:45:55,243 --> 00:45:58,413
No!
Not the vagina!
1177
00:46:00,832 --> 00:46:02,917
Ow! Oh.
1178
00:46:08,047 --> 00:46:10,383
Hey
1179
00:46:22,604 --> 00:46:24,980
Shit.
1180
00:46:25,064 --> 00:46:26,899
Bullying is bad for society.
1181
00:46:26,983 --> 00:46:29,276
Very good.
1182
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:32,029
Give me money, chihuahua.
1183
00:46:32,113 --> 00:46:33,948
What the hell
are you guys doing?
1184
00:46:34,032 --> 00:46:35,700
Waking frank's spirit.
1185
00:46:35,784 --> 00:46:37,243
Why don't you just do this?
1186
00:46:39,746 --> 00:46:41,414
I'm gonna fuck you up.
1187
00:46:41,498 --> 00:46:43,207
A new way, 360 degrees
1188
00:46:43,291 --> 00:46:45,000
I've got the power
1189
00:46:45,084 --> 00:46:46,252
the power of me
1190
00:46:46,336 --> 00:46:48,170
anyone else wanna haze me?
1191
00:46:48,254 --> 00:46:49,880
Didn't think so.
1192
00:46:51,758 --> 00:46:53,384
Hey, jaywalking's illegal.
1193
00:46:53,468 --> 00:46:54,802
Buzz off.
1194
00:47:00,934 --> 00:47:02,351
Give me the fucking money.
1195
00:47:02,435 --> 00:47:03,436
Okay, you know what, asshole?
1196
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,479
Pull the motherfucking trigger.
1197
00:47:05,563 --> 00:47:07,607
God fucking...
1198
00:47:09,025 --> 00:47:11,736
Fucker!
Piece of fucking shit!
1199
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,863
West point motherfucking
1200
00:47:13,947 --> 00:47:18,535
lesbian sister piece of shit!
1201
00:47:20,119 --> 00:47:21,620
Check it.
1202
00:47:21,704 --> 00:47:22,663
Weed bread.
1203
00:47:22,747 --> 00:47:24,498
All you have to do
is just like and follow,
1204
00:47:24,582 --> 00:47:25,666
and you get half off.
1205
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:28,252
50,000 views
in the first three hours?
1206
00:47:32,090 --> 00:47:33,299
Sasha?
1207
00:47:33,383 --> 00:47:35,092
Saw your video.
1208
00:47:35,176 --> 00:47:36,635
You're, like,
Instagram famous now.
1209
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,472
So I was thinking,
maybe I was wrong about us.
1210
00:47:39,556 --> 00:47:42,141
Sorry, sash,
too little, too late.
1211
00:47:42,225 --> 00:47:43,392
I've actually moved on.
1212
00:47:44,727 --> 00:47:47,063
I think that's them
right now.
1213
00:47:49,732 --> 00:47:52,402
What's up?
1214
00:47:53,194 --> 00:47:55,488
We'll be upstairs.
1215
00:47:58,324 --> 00:48:00,201
I think he'll be just fine.
1216
00:48:00,285 --> 00:48:02,787
They grow up so fast.
1217
00:48:02,871 --> 00:48:04,706
To being a Gallagher.
1218
00:48:22,432 --> 00:48:24,433
I play Carl Gallagher.
1219
00:48:24,517 --> 00:48:27,394
He's a very odd kid.
1220
00:48:27,478 --> 00:48:29,688
He'll do what he wants
when he wants.
1221
00:48:29,772 --> 00:48:32,441
I had the best day
of my life.
1222
00:48:32,525 --> 00:48:34,860
- Did you wear a face guard?
- Nope.
1223
00:48:34,944 --> 00:48:37,071
How many more dogs
are down there, Carl?
1224
00:48:37,155 --> 00:48:38,197
Just Rocco and bernice.
1225
00:48:38,281 --> 00:48:40,115
They should be dead
by the end of the week.
1226
00:48:41,326 --> 00:48:43,118
You just bought yourself
1227
00:48:43,202 --> 00:48:44,203
two more weeks' detention.
1228
00:48:44,287 --> 00:48:46,580
You know you misspelled
your last name.
1229
00:48:46,664 --> 00:48:49,542
He doesn't exactly know
sometimes what's going on.
1230
00:48:49,626 --> 00:48:51,085
Who was the first
American president
1231
00:48:51,169 --> 00:48:53,045
to serve two
nonconsecutive terms?
1232
00:48:53,129 --> 00:48:54,463
Fuck if I know.
1233
00:48:54,547 --> 00:48:55,714
But he doesn't really care.
1234
00:48:55,798 --> 00:48:56,882
Grover Cleveland.
1235
00:48:56,966 --> 00:48:58,300
Oh, from sesame street?
1236
00:48:58,384 --> 00:49:00,386
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1237
00:49:00,470 --> 00:49:03,264
and it's a crazy world
1238
00:49:03,348 --> 00:49:08,143
but I won't fall
like a domino
1239
00:49:08,227 --> 00:49:10,354
no, no, no, no
1240
00:49:10,438 --> 00:49:12,231
I play Debbie Gallagher.
1241
00:49:12,315 --> 00:49:13,983
She's a take-charge
kinda girl.
1242
00:49:14,067 --> 00:49:16,610
Hey! Only kids under 12
eat for free.
1243
00:49:16,694 --> 00:49:18,153
Everybody else pays.
1244
00:49:18,237 --> 00:49:20,614
She's trying to get through
life without problems.
1245
00:49:20,698 --> 00:49:22,741
- Oh, there it is.
- Is that a shiv?
1246
00:49:22,825 --> 00:49:23,951
Yep.
Later.
1247
00:49:24,035 --> 00:49:25,786
Debbie tries to be
daddy's little girl,
1248
00:49:25,870 --> 00:49:27,037
but since her dad's drunk,
1249
00:49:27,121 --> 00:49:29,498
it doesn't really
turn out the way she wants.
1250
00:49:29,582 --> 00:49:31,876
Frank Gallagher!
1251
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,252
Show yourself!
1252
00:49:33,336 --> 00:49:35,546
This shit is about
to get biblical!
1253
00:49:35,630 --> 00:49:37,715
I can see you're emotional.
Let's just...
1254
00:49:37,799 --> 00:49:40,509
I am as cool
as a motherfucking cucumber.
1255
00:49:40,593 --> 00:49:42,720
What's this 600 bucks
you've already taken out
1256
00:49:42,804 --> 00:49:44,722
- of my discretionary money?
- New couch.
1257
00:49:44,806 --> 00:49:46,140
There's nothing wrong
with our couch.
1258
00:49:46,224 --> 00:49:48,809
You spent six months dribbling
your broken leg juices
1259
00:49:48,893 --> 00:49:50,269
and piss all over it.
1260
00:49:50,353 --> 00:49:51,562
It's perfectly fine.
1261
00:49:56,818 --> 00:49:59,362
Uh, Debbie takes care of Liam.
1262
00:50:00,196 --> 00:50:04,074
Hi, baby bottoms.
Did you have sweet dreams?
1263
00:50:04,158 --> 00:50:07,536
Like a domino
1264
00:50:07,620 --> 00:50:09,496
no, no, no
1265
00:50:09,580 --> 00:50:11,123
she takes care of Liam.
1266
00:50:11,207 --> 00:50:14,209
Oh, Liam.
1267
00:50:14,293 --> 00:50:15,169
Got him in time.
1268
00:50:15,253 --> 00:50:18,839
For you and me, yeah, yeah
1269
00:50:18,923 --> 00:50:22,051
she cares about Liam,
because she takes care of him.
1270
00:50:22,135 --> 00:50:24,219
I'm sorry, I keep rambling.
1271
00:50:24,303 --> 00:50:26,513
How come my key doesn't work?
1272
00:50:26,597 --> 00:50:27,556
I changed the locks.
1273
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:28,724
You have the rest of the cash
1274
00:50:28,808 --> 00:50:30,017
you owe me yet?
1275
00:50:30,101 --> 00:50:31,060
Nice job.
1276
00:50:31,144 --> 00:50:33,771
When you get the other 18.75,
I'll get you a key.
1277
00:50:33,855 --> 00:50:35,064
Time
1278
00:50:35,148 --> 00:50:37,650
yeah I got time
1279
00:50:37,734 --> 00:50:39,485
and it's all right
1280
00:50:39,569 --> 00:50:42,863
this is kinda like
a once-in-a-life opportunity.
1281
00:50:42,947 --> 00:50:44,365
I mean, I'm really
having fun.
1282
00:50:44,449 --> 00:50:46,158
It's just really cool
'cause there's
1283
00:50:46,242 --> 00:50:48,786
all these lights and four cam...
Two cameras.
1284
00:50:48,870 --> 00:50:49,912
Two or three cameras.
1285
00:50:49,996 --> 00:50:52,122
There's all the special
effects and everything.
1286
00:50:52,206 --> 00:50:53,624
It's just...
It's, like, amazing.
1287
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:54,541
It's so cool.
1288
00:50:54,625 --> 00:50:55,960
Go really shy on this one.
1289
00:50:56,044 --> 00:50:58,295
So should I not...
Should I laugh still,
1290
00:50:58,379 --> 00:50:59,713
but, like, a little giggle?
1291
00:50:59,797 --> 00:51:01,006
Like ha-ha.
1292
00:51:01,090 --> 00:51:02,174
Got it.
1293
00:51:02,258 --> 00:51:04,218
Debbie has faith
that one day maybe
1294
00:51:04,302 --> 00:51:07,471
her family will be the picture-
perfect paradise family.
1295
00:51:07,555 --> 00:51:09,932
It serves you right
for fucking that slut
1296
00:51:10,016 --> 00:51:11,308
with the cauliflower ears!
1297
00:51:11,392 --> 00:51:13,352
- I was not fucking her!
- Yes, you did!
1298
00:51:13,436 --> 00:51:16,397
It was a blow job!
1299
00:51:16,481 --> 00:51:17,648
Ow!
1300
00:51:17,732 --> 00:51:18,816
♪ Time ♪
1301
00:51:18,900 --> 00:51:21,485
♪ yeah I got time ♪
1302
00:51:21,569 --> 00:51:24,279
♪ and it's all right ♪
1303
00:51:24,363 --> 00:51:28,409
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1304
00:51:28,493 --> 00:51:29,785
♪ time ♪
1305
00:51:29,869 --> 00:51:32,371
♪ yeah I got time ♪
1306
00:51:32,455 --> 00:51:35,290
♪ and it's all right ♪
1307
00:51:35,374 --> 00:51:38,002
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1308
00:51:38,086 --> 00:51:40,629
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1309
00:51:40,713 --> 00:51:43,465
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1310
00:51:43,549 --> 00:51:46,176
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1311
00:51:46,260 --> 00:51:48,846
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1312
00:51:48,930 --> 00:51:52,477
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
90501
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