Original subtitles

Is it Bob, right? Or Ken?

No, it's Ken.

Ken and Ken.

But I think I've seen Bob, though. Bob's gone wild or something like that.

Bro, where are we going? The beach is... Well, it's kind of a city day for the

beach, right?

It's kind of a city day for the beach.

Look it, why are you going to hit fucking trees? I fucking love these

bro, but the area sucks, right?

Well, I don't know. It's fucking...

It's too over -exaggerated with people and, like, what?

The word? Too many people.

Too many people over here. Yo, where are we going?

Huh?

Oh, man, this guy's fucking... Wait.

All right, fine. All right, but where are we... Look at this little village

complex. Isn't it cool?

Are we sightseeing? Are we, like, are we looking for a place to live?

No, I'm driving. What are we doing?

Yeah, but you're looking for places to live. You're like, oh, look at that

house. Look at that house.

Look at what?

That one's huge. This is nice.

How many bedrooms do you think that thing has?

It's not built yet, though, but should we... You just go in there? I

used to do that when I was a kid all the time.

Really?

That's fresh, though. Look at that.

Yeah, I do like that. I am fond of, like, the green on the walls.

Oh, I think that's fake, though.

Yeah, it is. Oh, man. That's cheap. What else do you like to fondle?

Fondle.

A little nut fondler. A little nut fondler.

I'm fond of nut trees.

Yo, there's some water down there. Ethan, how much to go jump in that water

come out?

Oh, come on. What are you talking?

Whoa.

Whoa, hold on, hold on.

This guy said a million dollars. So lame.

This is such a sketchy place.

Right here.

Perfect. Look, where's your fob?

Hide behind the tree, quick. Behind the bushes.

Go behind the bushes.

Great, great day for a walk, huh?

Can I, like, I don't mean to be too, but you look like you're really, really

fit. Do you have any, like, secrets, little, like, workout secrets?

Workout. Just workout, just don't be lazy.

She just called me a fat fuck.

She just called me a fat, lazy fuck.

Cool,

cool, cool.

He's got a little booty and shit.

I'm looking for a trainer.

Do you train anyone? Do you train people?

Fuck you, Pedro.

Pull over. Fuck him.

No parking.

Pull over. I'm on the sidewalk, too.

Fuck me.

You sure you don't know, like, you don't know anyone that could train me?

Do you do any kind of what do you do?

Like it look you can look obviously I have a tube channel I have this camera.

I mean you got five minutes What do I eat

What a dollar

All right, I got $100 for your trade secrets. I got $100. I just want to know

couple things. Like, what do I eat? What time do I work out? I got $100.

Are you serious?

Yeah. I'm really serious about working out. Listen, you're not being nice.

I'm very insecure about my weight.

I'm sorry about that.

Well, you're not showing that you're sorry.

As soon as you pass the stop sign, I'm going to go get you.

I'm going to go get you. All right, look, I don't want to give up. Just one

and then we'll give up. I can't get on the bushes.

Right after the stop sign.

So just go wait there. We're open game. Hopefully she doesn't make the left.

All right, just go over there and then if she makes the left, we'll fuck.

I have plenty of room to follow her.

I have more.

We're doing terrible right now.

Go ahead, Papa.

Okay, $200.

What the fuck do you guys want?

Oh my gosh, she's cussing at us.

She's cussing at us. We'll meet you over here by the... I'm scared now.

By the bike sign.

She's cussing at us now. Now we pissed her off.

Hey, look at this. Are you sure you won't get in for it? I got $100. Then

fucking... Fucking Amazon.

Go down there and just... We're not trying to make

you mad, ma 'am.

Can we just start off, like, with your name and just so we get... Like, I'm

just... Just looking for, like, a workout partner and just, you know,

Oh, God. Trying to get some of this baby fat that I have on me.

I'm Essie.

Okay. Hi. How you doing, Essie?

My name's Pedro.

Hi, Pedro. I'm a little weirded out, but... Why? Look, I got a hundred bucks

your time.

Does that make it more weirder or does that make it okay?

I mean... I...

What is a hundred bucks?

Just because, because I want to talk to you. I'm just trying to take up your

time. I know everyone's time is worth money. So just give me five minutes of

your time. I'll give you a hundred bucks.

That's it. Yeah. I have a tube channel and I got it. I got it. I just like

talking to people. Okay. I'm a chatterbox.

Okay. All right. So like, but no, but you do have like a nice body and stuff.

I just was curious, like, is there something special you do or like.

Um, honestly, it's just going to the gym. Like, I go, like, five days a week.

do, like, 30 minutes a week. Five days a week?

Yeah. I gotta go every day?

Yeah. That's not every day. I take, like, two rest days. Well, like, one

day. I do yoga on Saturdays, so.

Oh. Just, like, kind of stretch.

Okay, well, that's nice. Does yoga really work?

Um, personally, for me, it's just more of, like, a relaxing thing I've seen.

I've seen people. It's good for, like, stretching and stuff, I guess, right?

Yeah. It's, like, restorative.

Restorative yoga. That's what I do.

Oh, nice.

Yeah. All right.

So, like, what are you doing right now? You just... I'm just walking

back from a class. I've got a really big, scary dog at home that I need to

Oh, wow. You've got a big, scary dog?

Yeah. Okay.

Are you just trying to pre -warn me like you think we're following you?

Kind of. Are you warning us? I'm really not trying to harm you in any way. We're

just trying to talk to you.

Yeah, I'm not going to follow you home.

Okay, promise. I mean, Ethan might if you ask him to. He'll go anywhere with

you. Ethan's our buddy. He'll go anywhere you ask him to go. You want me

home with you? Yeah, see, he's that kid you just don't, you know, you got to

keep him leashed to you because he just walks off with anyone.

Here, come with me. Okay.

Oh, you're just going to let him bully you like that?

Oh, damn. She used the B word.

Oh, I just called someone. Sorry, guys.

Oops,

sorry. I just FaceTimed a group of my friends. Sorry.

I hope they're not in the... It's not the...

Not your class?

No, it's not my class. Thank God. That'd be awkward. They're all, like, 60 -year

-old women. Oh, wow.

Well, they might like Ethan.

They might.

They might. You're a cutie.

I don't mean to say, I don't mean to tell you, but, like, you do realize that

your shirt is, like, halfway, like, coming off?

My bad. Okay. I mean, I'm just, I don't know if you're comfortable with that.

No, thank you. Thank you. That was really polite of you.

Now you're making me blush.

So, like, look, Ethan, you didn't see her body? Can I, like, look at her body,

like. I mean.

Oh, wow.

Look how thin she is.

Look at that ass. Like, you, like, do you do things to have an ass like that?

do a lot of squats.

And it helps that I'm Latina.

But if you were, you wouldn't say it like that.

Yeah. Latina?

Latina. I am.

I am.

Latina. Latina.

Latina.

Latina.

I'm just kidding. I'm just fucking with you. I'm just fucking with you. You

probably know more Spanish than I do. No more Espanol. I don't speak it. So,

yeah, I'm a bad Latina.

Do you, like, have a boyfriend?

Or, like, I mean, is that too forward? It depends who's asking.

Ah, Ethan's asking. Do you have a boyfriend?

I might be single.

He's not flexible at all, though.

I might not be single. No, I'm kidding.

You got a great attitude.

Listen. Thank you.

I liked it. I often do these social experiments.

Okay. We have a lot of money that we make with this tube channel. No big

Okay. Well, the tube channel gives us a lot of views. We have a lot of ratings.

So we got to give it away because if we keep it, Uncle Sam takes it. Oh, fuck

that. So I got a big lump of money that I'd give you. I want to see what you do

with it.

Or what you would do for it. What I would do for a... Lump sum of money.

Okay, well, first of all... Like an indecent proposal.

I'd like to see your body in its purest form, like in its rawest form.

Like naked?

Ooh, she caught on quick.

Yes, I would pay you to get naked.

Honestly, I don't think... No.

I don't think you could pay me enough.

I don't know. Really?

Yeah. Holy shit.

Okay. No. Try me.

This guy wanted a million dollars to jump in the fucking water. I'd like to

that. Anything south of that would be okay.

Look at this guy. A million dollars to jump in the water. Let's make you do

stupid shit. Yeah, let's make you do stupid shit.

I'll give you 500 bucks.

500? Are you fucking serious? No.

Oh, oh. Did I undershot that?

$500? No.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to... Oh, whoa.

People what? People pay a lot more?

So what are you saying? You have like a... So like what? Sugar daddies? You

like a sugar daddy? She said yeah.

Yeah. Look.

Alright, I'll give you a thousand bucks.

No. I'm good. No? I'm good. But thank you.

Where are you going?

Don't make Ethan follow you.

Don't make Ethan follow you.

Oh, my God.

Look, how about this? How about this?

Running after you with his leopard shorts.

Red looks good with leopard shorts. I'll give you $2 ,000 if you're willing to

let us see you naked.

How much?

$2 ,000.

Look.

Do you want to, like, hold it?

Just don't run away, because I'm going to have to send Ethan out to you.

Um... It looks like you have a little more back there.

Yeah. You heard that.

You heard that noise.

Okay, well, I didn't know you turned into a hooker so quick.

Um, no.

Well, I thought we were having a friendly conversation, but now you're,

you're trying to take every piece of dollar I have in my...

I think $2 ,000 is a very fair offer.

Listen, Linda, I'm not a hugger.

I thought you weren't either.

I totally thought you weren't either.

I thought you were just a hot, like, hot chick that does yoga.

I know. It's just to see me naked. $2 ,500.

Just to see me naked.

Just to see you naked.

Okay. Let me, hold on, let me see it.

Give me, there.

Yeah, let them pass.

Go ahead, take a look at it. You know, do whatever.

Take a look at it.

Now they might actually think I am.

Well, they need to mind their business.

Yeah. They need to mind their business. So, what do you think?

Actually, that's two. Okay. I need a five.

You need 500?

Yeah.

There's 500.

I love the smell of money.

Okay. So what'd he say?

Pinky promise is just to see me naked right now.

Listen, I will pinky promise that you are not going to do anything you don't

want to do.

Okay. How's that?

Okay. You want to get off the van anytime, whatever. I mean, you're going

in, right, to see me naked? I mean, you're not going to expect it. I don't

expect you to be right there. And my location's being shared.

Okay, great. I don't really care.

I don't care. You can send the National Guard to come get you. I don't care.

We're not doing anything with you. Okay.

Yeah, you want to get in? Get in. Ethan, come on.

Open the damn door.

This is a beautiful, beautiful van.

It's a really nice van.

You really know how to impress a lady.

Welcome to my crib.

Wow, I hope this isn't your crib. Don't say that.

Oh shit, grab that.

On the floor.

My phone is like going crazy now because I FaceTimed and they're like,

what's going on?

Yeah. Where should I put?

No, just sit down right there.

Just sit?

Yeah.

Okay. Hi.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Feel comfortable. There you go. See? You got

my yoga mat out for me. Thank you. Yoga mat.

Do you mind if we drive a little bit? Because, like, if we don't drive, the AC

gets cold, like, hot and stuff. Oh, my God. This thing is... Yeah, I'm afraid

for it to just sit here, too.

No, you got your... I'm going to take my shoes off.

You are? Okay. I guess you're getting comfortable.

I mean, if I'm going to have to show you my naked body, it might as well, right?

Yeah. I agree.

As a foot guy, I agree.

You're a fuck guy?

Wait, rape my feet.

Oh, rape my feet.

Smell them.

What happened here?

Um, it got cut, like, when I was... Who the fuck said, what happened here?

Damn it, bro, you calling her out? Like, what's wrong with you, kid?

I tripped in, like, uh, the corner of a dressing room. You don't gotta explain

shit to him! You ain't gotta explain nothing to this guy! Yo,

just fucking look at the feet and smell them, and that's it, bro. Stop pointing

out them.

Yeah. You can lick them, too.

Really? Yeah, that's my toe.

Oh, my God. You just let this fucking guy lick your fucking toe?

Yeah, I like it. What's wrong with you? I think you guys are too fucked. Maybe

you guys should talk. Fucking weirdos. You just licked a random toe.

Oh, she did yoga, too?

Yeah. You did yoga with those shoes walking? You got my sweaty toes.

Do you like that they match my fingers?

Yeah, they do.

What is this? Fucking show and tell? Yeah.

Okay, well, I showed you our money. You fucking... Fuck.

Show us yours.

Show you mine.

Oh, yeah, show it.

Oh, my goodness.

Dude, you work out a lot.

I do.

Trying to get that six pack.

Almost there. Almost.

Almost. Wow, you're just groping your own tits, huh?

Yeah, doesn't everyone do that?

I don't know, Ethan, do you do that every time you take a shower? I grop

like tits.

Do you ever, like, rub your nipples, though?

No. Oh.

Can I rub yours?

Um, maybe later, I don't know. I was like, I want to say that, but then I

like a hoe, so.

Whoa, whoa, right there, right there. Oh, turn, turn, turn.

Whoa.

Dude.

Yeah, keep that.

Oh, my goodness.

Lots of squats. Don't even take the pants off. That's all that we wanted to

right there.

That's the easiest 2 ,500 I've made.

Wow.

Whoa. That's a nice butt.

Thank you. You do your squat.

What's that?

That you do your squat. I do.

Can he, can he, can he massage it? Can he grab it?

Massage? Oh, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah, I mean, if you just want to touch it, of course.

Of course I want to touch it. I worked hard for this thing, so I appreciate it.

Really?

That feels really good, actually.

I love butt massages.

I'll massage your butt whenever.

Yeah? Yeah. Don't you put your big, scary dog away?

Oh, shit, I have to go feed him.

Well,

he'll survive.

Yeah, I think so.

Man,

look at this girl's ass, dude.

Do we have anything back there that we could use?

You guys are prepared.

Well, we do a lot of interviews and, you know.

We're always fucking around doing dumb shit. You don't want to be empty -handed

just in case you see a nice ass.

Lay flat. Lay flat on your stomach.

All right, well.

Guess we're not prepared.

Oh, no. It's okay. You can just rub it with your hands.

What's that?

Oh, fuck!

It was so cold for a while. Shit, oops.

No, I tried to grab the water. I was going to drink it. Oh, my God. Oh, my

I'm so sorry.

No, no, no. I'm so sorry. No, no,

no. I'm so sorry. Hold on. I need to take these off. No, no, no. Stay like

Lay down. Lay down. Yes, lay down. Lay down. No, see, I was just going to drink

some water.

Dry it off for me.

Like, went into my pussy.

Went right in.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God.

You're making me so wet.

Is this how massages usually go in this van?

Yeah.

Every time. Making it wet?

Oh, my God.

If I didn't love this... butt massage so much, I'd be pissed. He's really going

ham on those cheeks. Yeah, it feels so good.

Especially right after yoga.

Oh, fuck.

I'm sorry about that. No, don't apologize. It feels really good.

So you don't mind him groping you like that, huh?

I mean, honestly...

Making me a little horny, I'm not going to lie.

Whoa, wait a minute. I've got to go talk to her.

Hold on.

Now you're making me butt.

Seriously?

I know, yeah.

Wow.

So you like your butt rubbed, I guess, huh?

Uh -huh. Yeah?

Yeah. So, I mean, when you get, like, rub downs from your boyfriend or your

husband or whoever you're with?

Like, does it always lead to sex?

I mean, I'm pretty single, so... Okay, when you get rubdowns from anyone, does

it always lead to sex?

Kind of.

Guilty. I'm having a blast back there.

I am, too.

Oh, my God.

Wow, yeah. Just keep massaging, bro. She likes it. Just keep massaging. Oh, my

God. You guys are so crazy.

Yeah, no, just keep... Oh, my God.

What the...

Oh, my God.

Bro, what are you doing, bro?

I use it for massages.

Like the karate chops they do? Yeah.

I use my elbow.

Oh, wait. That's so silly. God.

Oh, my God.

Wait, what did you just say? Nothing. I just... It's a really nice cock. What

makes it nice?

It gets bigger.

It's not even fully hard.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God.

That is a girthy.

Oh, my God.

I think she wants to touch it. Do you want to touch it? You can be looking at

it. I can't. Of course.

Oh, shit.

For the right yoga circle.

Yeah, this goes up.

Whoa!

Yo, this girl's on fire. Like, what did you just say?

So what is it? You just really like sucking dick or something?

Yeah, I do, especially.

You're like a fat kid, and you put cake in front of him. He's like, can I eat

it? I want to eat it. Can I get a bite? Let me just get a bite.

I'm so horny right now.

Really? I am. I just want to put it in my mouth.

I say yes.

I say yes.

The dick belongs to him, so I can't answer for him. Oh, absolutely.

But this guy said, yeah.

I'm going to take these off. No, leave that stupid cheetah pattern fucking

shorts on.

Somebody spilled all over my pants. No, leave them on.

Leave them on. Yeah, leave them on.

Okay.

Just leave them right there. Yeah, they're good.

You don't need to take them off.

It's great.

You could definitely suck dick with those pants right there, for sure.

Can I just go say, can I just suck your dick real quick?

I'll start going to yoga.

I'll be your yoga instructor.

Oh, my

hair

is getting everywhere.

Is it because my penis works?

It's really making me wet right now.

I told you.

I love that.

Almost as wet as my pants right now.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, I love this car.

Oh my god.

I never thought I'd be doing this.

um um

This is turning me on so much.

But I can do this.

I'm a

team player. Yeah.

You're a good kisser.

You want me to do a couple things?

Yeah. You want me to show you?

Like what?

You want me to show her?

I think so.

Turn around.

You feel how wet I am?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

I'm so excited to feel you inside me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fucking so wet.

Oh,

my God.

Yeah.

Oh, I like it when you think me.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Oh, my God. Can you think me again, please? Oh.

Oh my god.

Go away.

Oh, my God.

Feels so good.

Oh, my

God.

I'm hungry.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

Oh, my God.

oh my god yeah

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Fucking paint that face.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

fuck.

I'm definitely going to do yoga now.

You're going to do it all?

What the hell just happened, bro?

Yeah, I got this guy who jumped outside to go save a dog.

You came right as he's outside. I'm like, I'm looking at what's going on

outside. This guy's fucking coming. I'm like, yo, what the fuck?

A whole lot of shit just went down right now. Yeah, I mean, I just got my

protein shake.

Oh, my God. Is this part of your workout?

I mean, it should be.

Yeah, this is crazy.

I can't believe this happened. Listen, would you consider doing... Oh!

I finally got it!

That just made my day.

Listen, would you do more of these, like, style videos? Fuck yeah.

I would love to. That was fun. That was pretty cool. I think I could get you on

a couple.

Yes, I would love that. Here, go ahead and get dressed.

Okay. We've got to drop you off. No.

Can I come with you?

Yeah, if he kissed her like that, sure. Yeah, I know.

Are you going to take me out to dinner now?

Is that worthy of dinner?

Explore.

Yeah,

I'm going to let you off right here real quick.

Okay.

I got somewhere to be, but, like, look, let me see your phone.

All right. I'm going to put my number right here in your phone.

All right.

There it is. All right, cool.

Look, just hit me up later on tonight, and we'll schedule something with you.

Okay. Yeah, it'd be awesome, man. You got a great body. You look good on

So, yeah, I think we could definitely do something with you.

I might be down for that.

Yeah, just reach out to me.

Text him and get my number, too.

Yeah, you know, after that little love -making kiss, you know, you guys are

forever bonded.

You guys are forever bonded.

Bondage?

Where's your shirt? Your shirt, come on. Your shirt?

Look, she doesn't even know what she's doing right now.

Put your damn shirt on.

Let me see. Roll up her yoga mat for her.

Cool. Yeah. Yeah, just step out real quick. I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you to do

something really fast Can you hold this real close to your mouth and just say

oh? I forgot my umbrella. Oh your umbrella get an umbrella So look just

just say um Just tell us your name and just tell us you got fucked on the bus.

I'm Effie, and I just got fucked on a bus Let me have that it's mine.

Thank you Good luck call me

No, call me.

My name's Ethan, and I just tasted my own cum.

I'm a spitter.

I'm a spitter. I taste Ethan.

I spit my own cum. And I spit out my own cum. Dude, she tricked me.