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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,416 --> 00:00:03,999
[bright tone]
2
00:00:04,083 --> 00:00:07,041
[spirited piano music]
3
00:00:07,124 --> 00:00:08,333
♪ ♪
4
00:00:08,416 --> 00:00:09,792
- ♪ Soul food Saturday ♪
5
00:00:09,875 --> 00:00:11,541
♪ Saturday for soul food ♪
6
00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,875
- Finally we have
a place in the hood
7
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:15,708
that is actually
owned by black folks.
8
00:00:15,792 --> 00:00:18,416
Pfft, I heard the oxtails
are to die for.
9
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,667
- Oh, I can't wait.
10
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,875
- Ooh, hi, table for two.
11
00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:23,999
- Oh, hey, babies.
Read the sign.
12
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,833
- What--what sign?
What she talking about?
13
00:00:25,917 --> 00:00:28,500
Oh, wait a minute,
is this it?
14
00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,500
"Sit wherever."
15
00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:32,708
- Oh, that's okay.
16
00:00:32,792 --> 00:00:34,667
The sign probably just
fell on the floor, so...
17
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,625
- Yeah.
- [laughs]
18
00:00:36,708 --> 00:00:37,667
- All right, girl.
- Hey.
19
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,041
- We 'bout to tip 40%
20
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:41,541
and give them
a six-star Yelp review...
21
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:42,833
- Okay.
- Because they deserve.
22
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,833
It's hard to open
a business in the hood.
23
00:00:44,917 --> 00:00:47,083
- Shit, my aunt's day care
got shut down,
24
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:49,041
and that's just 'cause
it was a casino.
25
00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:50,541
Those little hands
could shuffle fast, though.
26
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:51,625
She smart.
- [laughs]
27
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,875
- All right, dumplin's,
just give me a minute.
28
00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:56,041
I'm the only one working.
29
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,375
- Oh, okay.
30
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,917
See, this why
we have to support.
31
00:00:58,999 --> 00:00:59,958
- That's the reason.
32
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,999
- If we just come here
57 more times...
33
00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:02,999
- Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:03,083 --> 00:01:04,541
- They will be able
to have more servers.
35
00:01:04,625 --> 00:01:07,500
- On the bright side,
business is booming,
36
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,041
so let's see what these oxtails
are talkin' 'bout.
37
00:01:09,124 --> 00:01:10,500
- Talkin' 'bout.
38
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:11,750
- Okay, sugarplums, I'm back.
39
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,708
Now, before I get started,
we're out of a few things...
40
00:01:13,792 --> 00:01:14,750
- That's okay.
41
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,750
- The whole left side
of the menu.
42
00:01:18,917 --> 00:01:21,041
- That's no problem.
43
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,333
No problem.
- No problem.
44
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,750
Um, I will have
the mac and cheese,
45
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:28,792
sweet potatoes,
and a garden salad.
46
00:01:28,875 --> 00:01:30,708
- Okay, my little
precious moment, I got you.
47
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:33,958
- And I will have
your famous oxtails,
48
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:35,291
and to drink, we'd like--
49
00:01:35,375 --> 00:01:36,291
- Oh, you order your drinks
50
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:37,958
at the counter
from the drank lady.
51
00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:40,249
- [quietly]
Uh, drank?
52
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,917
[slide guitar music]
53
00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:43,917
- Hi, can we have, um,
54
00:01:43,999 --> 00:01:46,166
two sweet teas
with extra ice, please?
55
00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:49,750
- Only got warm sweet tea.
56
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,083
- But you have ice, right?
57
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:52,375
- Only for the iced tea.
58
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:56,625
- So you have
unsweetened iced tea,
59
00:01:56,708 --> 00:01:59,375
but if we want sweet tea,
we cannot get ice?
60
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:01,625
- Correct.
61
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,249
- You know what?
62
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,583
We don't need
all that sugar anyway.
63
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,999
- Yeah.
- So two iced teas.
64
00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:12,291
- Two hot teas,
got it.
65
00:02:12,375 --> 00:02:15,333
♪ ♪
66
00:02:15,416 --> 00:02:16,750
- I see what's happening.
- I don't.
67
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:18,416
- She tryin' to hook us up
with the good shit.
68
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,458
- Oh, hmm.
- Yeah.
69
00:02:19,541 --> 00:02:22,375
Yeah, two hot teas, please.
- Okay, two.
70
00:02:24,208 --> 00:02:26,416
- Two hot teas.
71
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,792
Okay, I think she heard us.
72
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:31,583
[dramatic musical flourish]
73
00:02:31,667 --> 00:02:33,458
Ugh, that tea ran through me
74
00:02:33,541 --> 00:02:35,458
like the feds through
my aunt's baby casino.
75
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:37,375
- [scoffs]
Excuse me?
76
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,083
Where's your bathroom?
77
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:43,958
- Cost a quarter to get in,
quarter to get out.
78
00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:46,249
[plucked guitar string]
79
00:02:48,416 --> 00:02:49,375
- I don't have no change.
80
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:51,083
- Me neither, girl.
81
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,958
Just hold it.
For the culture.
82
00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:53,958
- [huffs]
83
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,124
[dramatic musical flourish]
84
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,667
- Here you go, muffin tops.
85
00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,291
- Oh.
- Sorry 'bout the wait.
86
00:02:58,375 --> 00:02:59,291
- Great.
87
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:00,999
Can we please
get some silverware?
88
00:03:01,083 --> 00:03:02,667
- We're BYO silverware.
89
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,750
[plucked guitar string]
90
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,166
- This is ridiculous!
91
00:03:10,249 --> 00:03:11,333
Come on!
92
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,375
All I wanted to do
was support our people,
93
00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:14,833
give 'em a fair shot,
94
00:03:14,917 --> 00:03:17,667
but I knew, I knew I should've
brought my purse fork.
95
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:20,166
Ah. Ah.
96
00:03:20,249 --> 00:03:22,958
[upbeat percussive music]
97
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,541
- So, ladies,
how you enjoy your meal?
98
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:27,667
- You know what?
99
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,416
- The food was poppin'.
- Yeah, it was.
100
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,750
- How 'bout
I do you guys a favor
101
00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:32,249
and box up your leftovers
for you?
102
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,541
- Yes, sure, thanks.
103
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:34,875
- Okay, let me
grab that for you.
104
00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:35,875
I got ya.
- All right.
105
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,500
- I'll be right back, okay?
106
00:03:38,124 --> 00:03:39,541
- Well, that was nice.
- He's so nice.
107
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,333
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
108
00:03:41,416 --> 00:03:43,249
- Got 'em!
109
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,249
- Uh...
- Who he got?
110
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,541
- What? I thought
that nigga was the manager.
111
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:47,708
- I thought that nigga
was the manager.
112
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,583
- That nigga acted
like he was the manager!
113
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:52,375
- Here's your bill, cash only,
$65 minimum.
114
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:54,041
[dramatic music]
115
00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:56,083
- But we only spent $37.
116
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,083
- You know what?
117
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,375
We came here to support,
118
00:03:58,458 --> 00:03:59,375
but you were out
of half the menu.
119
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:02,291
- Yeah, you did not
have silverware.
120
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,875
You did not have
ice for the sweet tea.
121
00:04:04,958 --> 00:04:06,750
- And some man
just stole our leftovers.
122
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,416
- [chuckles]
You think you can do better?
123
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,416
Then you go back there
and run it.
124
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,500
- [chuckles]
Fine, we will.
125
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:14,083
- Help yourself.
- Yeah? Huh.
126
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,124
- We're good.
- We can do it.
127
00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:16,500
- Watch this.
128
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:25,541
[eerie music]
129
00:04:25,625 --> 00:04:30,917
♪ ♪
130
00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:33,124
- Gon' be here a while.
131
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:36,124
[sinister music]
132
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:39,416
♪ ♪
133
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,541
- What the fuck?
134
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:42,249
- Same. Let's go.
135
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,083
- [gasping]
136
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,958
[dramatic musical flourish]
137
00:04:48,291 --> 00:04:49,416
Ooh.
138
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,875
♪ Soul food Saturday ♪
139
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,500
♪ Saturday
for soul food ♪
140
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:53,583
- [laughs]
141
00:04:53,667 --> 00:04:55,500
Finally a place in the hood
that is actually owned
142
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:57,750
by black...folks...
143
00:04:57,833 --> 00:05:00,792
[eerie music]
144
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,291
[hesitantly]
I heard the oxtails here
145
00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:03,958
are to die for.
146
00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:07,124
♪ ♪
147
00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,792
[sinister music]
148
00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:12,999
[dramatic music]
149
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:16,958
- [cackling]
150
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:20,291
[Megan Thee Stallion's
"Hot Girl"]
151
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:22,458
♪ ♪
152
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:24,583
- ♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
153
00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:26,958
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
154
00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:28,291
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
155
00:05:28,375 --> 00:05:29,792
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
156
00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:32,166
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
157
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,208
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
158
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,708
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
159
00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:36,999
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
160
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:38,375
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
161
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,667
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
162
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:41,999
♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
163
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,291
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
164
00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:45,333
♪ All the hot girls
make it pop, pop, pop ♪
165
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:47,541
♪ Bad bitches with the bag
say, "Ah, ya, ya" ♪
166
00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:48,833
♪ If he ain't talking
'bout no money ♪
167
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:50,500
♪ Tell him, "Bye, bye, bye" ♪
168
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,708
♪ And if you see a mad ho,
tell her, "Hah, hah, hah" ♪
169
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:54,667
♪ Hey, don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
170
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:56,041
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
171
00:05:56,124 --> 00:05:57,375
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho ♪
- ♪ Get mad ♪
172
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,041
- ♪ Get a bag, ho ♪
- ♪ Get a bag ♪
173
00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:01,166
- ♪ Don't get mad, ho,
huh, fuck a broke ho ♪
174
00:06:01,249 --> 00:06:03,500
♪ Don't get mad, ho,
get a bag, ho ♪
175
00:06:03,583 --> 00:06:04,500
♪ Ah ♪
176
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:08,041
[birds chirping]
177
00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:12,375
- Calm down.
It's just a phone!
178
00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:15,375
[suspenseful music]
179
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,500
♪ ♪
180
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:17,875
- What am I supposed to do?
181
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:20,375
No more Genius Bars!
182
00:06:20,458 --> 00:06:22,541
No more texts from my mom.
183
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:23,999
No more pictures
from my brother.
184
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:25,667
All my shit is gone!
185
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,458
- You wanna know
what else is gone?
186
00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:30,750
Huh?
The Cool Ranch Doritos!
187
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:33,166
- Everyone is gone!
188
00:06:33,249 --> 00:06:34,708
We've been sitting here
playing games
189
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:38,208
and having spa time
like this is "Girls Trip 2"
190
00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:40,333
and not the fucking
end of the world!
191
00:06:40,416 --> 00:06:42,833
- Oh, my God, I just realized
we'll never see "Girls Trip 2."
192
00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:45,541
- Shut up.
Shut up!
193
00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,208
I do not wanna spend
the rest of my life
194
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:50,541
arguing with the same people!
195
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:52,750
If I had wanted that,
I would have gotten married.
196
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:54,625
- Well, I wanted
to get married,
197
00:06:54,708 --> 00:06:57,124
but, Robin, you forced me
to come here
198
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,875
before Kevin could propose!
199
00:06:58,958 --> 00:07:00,375
- Kevin wasn't
gonna propose!
200
00:07:00,458 --> 00:07:02,541
What is wrong
with you people?
201
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:03,917
Seriously!
202
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:07,166
I saved us
from certain death, okay?
203
00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:09,917
I fortified a goddamn
apocalypse-proof house!
204
00:07:09,999 --> 00:07:11,083
I stocked it with food!
205
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,583
I froze sperm
in single-serving sizes!
206
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,750
I am the only one
who had a plan!
207
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,958
I am the--
208
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:19,291
[loud thud]
209
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,750
- Oh, my God. Oh.
210
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:22,541
Is--
211
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:23,750
Is she dead?
212
00:07:23,833 --> 00:07:25,583
- Oh, my God.
213
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,041
[pulsing dramatic music]
214
00:07:27,124 --> 00:07:28,541
What are we gonna do?
215
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:30,500
- Eat her?
216
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:32,667
[applause on TV]
217
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:35,375
- Uh, Pat, I will take a T.
218
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:36,500
[buzzer sounds]
219
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,750
Okay, okay, I got it.
I got it.
220
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,750
I will take a lowercase T.
221
00:07:39,833 --> 00:07:41,625
- Buy a vowel, bitch.
222
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:44,958
- Ain't none of those neither?
Dang.
223
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:45,999
- Reniece!
224
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,041
[bell dings]
225
00:07:47,124 --> 00:07:48,291
- Welcome back
to "Get the Belt,"
226
00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:49,999
voted 1992's favorite
227
00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:52,291
mother-versus-child
competition show.
228
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:53,958
I'm Kimber Zak.
229
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,667
- And I'm Carmen Sipp.
230
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,458
Tonight we've got
two dynamic contestants
231
00:07:57,541 --> 00:07:58,500
going head-to-head.
232
00:07:58,583 --> 00:07:59,583
- Representing the home team
233
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:02,416
is this season's
early standout Tonisha.
234
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,833
Now, she's been known to knock
challengers into next week.
235
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,291
- Yes, she recently took out
fan favorite Man Man
236
00:08:07,375 --> 00:08:09,166
with an early game spank-out.
237
00:08:09,249 --> 00:08:12,291
- Her opponent tonight is
her eldest daughter, Reniece.
238
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:13,667
This 13-year-old dynamo
239
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,500
has been really focusing
on her obedience,
240
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,999
and this season,
she's undefeated.
241
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,333
- Hand me the remote.
242
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:25,458
- Oh, an absolutely brilliant
opening move from Tonisha.
243
00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:28,166
That remote is clearly
well within her own reach.
244
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:29,667
She's using
a frustration tactic
245
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,625
to get Reniece
to show some attitude,
246
00:08:31,708 --> 00:08:34,667
which would of course lead to
an immediate beat and defeat.
247
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,875
- As we know, many things
can lead to a spank-out,
248
00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:38,792
including showing disrespect,
249
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:39,833
raising your voice,
250
00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:41,833
or being told
to fix your face.
251
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,124
[dramatic musical flourish]
252
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:45,208
- Let's keep an eye
on the mouthal region
253
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:46,625
to see if Reniece
can hold it together.
254
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:47,625
[tense music]
255
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:49,375
[dramatic music]
256
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,833
[applause]
Are you kidding me?
257
00:08:50,917 --> 00:08:53,500
Not a smirk or a smile,
astonishing!
258
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,124
- Wow, she knows
she nailed that one,
259
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:56,708
and, boy, that must feel good.
260
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:59,833
- Surely Reniece doesn't think
it's going to be that easy.
261
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,041
Fans know that if a child
262
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,208
crosses the threshold
of her room
263
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:05,708
without her mother
getting the belt, she wins.
264
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:07,917
- Mm, now Tonisha
was born at night,
265
00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:10,249
but she wasn't born
last night.
266
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:12,333
Surely she's got
more in store here.
267
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:14,208
[groans]
- Ooh, flag on the play.
268
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:16,375
It looks like
the batteries are dead.
269
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,041
- Get back here!
270
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,917
[faint energetic music]
271
00:09:20,999 --> 00:09:22,708
Bring me some AA batteries.
272
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:24,041
- Oh, the dreaded
273
00:09:24,124 --> 00:09:26,999
"If I Have to Get Up
and Find It Myself" challenge.
274
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,375
- Yeah, no one wants this one.
275
00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:31,375
Now, historically, Reniece has
excelled at this obstacle,
276
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,041
but she might be
battling some fatigue
277
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:36,375
after playing 18 rounds of
"Slide, Slide, Slippity-Slide"
278
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:37,541
at recess today.
279
00:09:37,625 --> 00:09:39,541
- This is where Tonisha's
home court advantage
280
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:40,583
really comes in handy.
281
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,416
- Yeah, well, an advantage
she always has
282
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,792
because Reniece hasn't paid
nan one bill around here.
283
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:45,917
Let's put 15 seconds
on the clock.
284
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:48,917
[dramatic music]
285
00:09:48,999 --> 00:09:51,917
[clock beeping]
286
00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:56,750
♪ ♪
287
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:59,208
- Oh, she picked up
the blue tin.
288
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,249
Not gonna be anything in there
but needles and thread.
289
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,083
- Honestly, Carmen,
you never know.
290
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:05,625
These items are never anywhere
that makes a lick of sense.
291
00:10:05,708 --> 00:10:09,124
- Oh, looks like this might be
all she wrote for Reniece.
292
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:13,917
♪ ♪
293
00:10:13,999 --> 00:10:15,708
[clock beeping faster]
294
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:16,750
[buzzer sounds]
295
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,083
- Oh, no hocus-pocus,
296
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:22,750
just focus on that by Reniece,
amazing.
297
00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:25,124
[applause]
298
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,625
- Diamond and the other
diamond showed up on this--
299
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,166
["The People's Court" theme]
300
00:10:28,249 --> 00:10:30,083
- And the channel is changed.
301
00:10:30,166 --> 00:10:33,208
Textbook execution
by Reniece.
302
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:34,291
- Earlier tonight,
303
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,792
Man Man worked
Tonisha's last good nerve.
304
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,999
It seems to have
taken its toll.
305
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:42,166
- [snoring]
306
00:10:42,249 --> 00:10:43,958
The coupon.
307
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,500
- As a player,
Reniece probably wants
308
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:48,291
to head to her room
for the easy win.
309
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:49,625
- [coughs]
310
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:52,583
- But as a child, Reniece
clearly wants to capitalize
311
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:53,999
off of this rare chance
312
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:56,124
to watch something
she has no business watching.
313
00:10:56,208 --> 00:10:57,458
Kimber,
what's your play here?
314
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,917
- Well, I was in the same
position back in 1979.
315
00:10:59,999 --> 00:11:01,291
I could either watch
"Facts of Life,"
316
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:02,667
which my mother had banned
317
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,124
due to, uh,
"Jo's lesbian energy."
318
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:06,124
- Ah.
319
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,166
- Or I could go to my room
for the easy win.
320
00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:11,291
Now, I chose the W because
I knew if I didn't start none,
321
00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:12,291
there wouldn't be none.
322
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,291
- That's smart.
- That's right.
323
00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:16,041
[dramatic music]
324
00:11:16,124 --> 00:11:18,208
Ooh.
- Oh, reaching for the remote.
325
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,667
That's risky.
326
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:21,541
Most veteran players
would wait until Tonisha
327
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:23,833
hit that good drool sleep
before making a move.
328
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,541
♪ ♪
329
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:29,124
- Oh!
Clearly, Reniece disagrees!
330
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:30,833
She already has the remote.
331
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,458
- She's not
in the clear yet.
332
00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:36,166
78% of wake-ups happen during
the channel-changing stage.
333
00:11:36,249 --> 00:11:37,999
Something about
the abrupt noise shift
334
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,999
is disrupting
to a snoozing parent.
335
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,541
[dramatic percussive music]
336
00:11:41,625 --> 00:11:44,667
Is she turning down
the TV?
337
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:47,249
I've never seen
this strategy before.
338
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,792
- Wow, we are
either witnessing
339
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,708
an embarrassing
lack of judgment
340
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:51,875
or a move that could,
341
00:11:51,958 --> 00:11:54,583
quite frankly,
revolutionize this sport.
342
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:55,583
- I mean...
343
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:56,583
- ♪ Pressure King ♪
344
00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:59,208
- Oh, and she did it!
You go, girl!
345
00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:00,333
- Wow.
- Wow.
346
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:02,083
- These are the moments
I live for right here.
347
00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:03,583
- This is what
live TV is about.
348
00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,041
- Whoo, I can't breathe
right now.
349
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:06,208
- Wow, whoa.
- Wow.
350
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:07,875
- [laughs]
351
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,333
- Making noise while
her mother's asleep?
352
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:10,708
She's just showboating now.
353
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:12,375
- Boy.
- I mean, this is--wow.
354
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,708
[audience booing]
355
00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:14,875
- Uh-oh, bogey.
356
00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:16,750
- Yikes.
- Surprise attack by Man Man.
357
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,208
- Uh-oh.
358
00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,375
- You letting all the cold air
out my house?
359
00:12:20,458 --> 00:12:21,667
- It wasn't me!
360
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:22,667
[audience groans]
361
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,041
[solemn music]
362
00:12:24,124 --> 00:12:25,708
- And you talking back?
363
00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:26,875
♪ ♪
364
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:29,541
- And just like that,
it's over.
365
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:31,583
Congratulations to Tonisha.
366
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,875
- Yeah, you know, this was
clearly Man Man's fault,
367
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,917
but as we've seen here
on "Get the Belt" before...
368
00:12:35,999 --> 00:12:37,750
both: It doesn't
fucking matter.
369
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:41,333
[solemn music]
370
00:12:41,416 --> 00:12:42,583
[music winds down]
371
00:12:42,667 --> 00:12:44,416
- You got shoes on
in my house?
372
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:45,917
- Uh, uh, no, ma'am,
of course not.
373
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,833
I would never track outside
on your floors.
374
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,708
[dramatic electronic music]
375
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,792
- Uh, well, that's it
for us here at "Get the Belt,"
376
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:55,291
so tune in next time
when we find out
377
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,249
whether or not I was
too grown to get a whuppin'.
378
00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:58,291
- Run!
- I'm too grown!
379
00:12:58,375 --> 00:12:59,333
- Run!
- You gotta run
380
00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:00,708
faster than that.
I used to run track!
381
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:02,208
- Thanks for watching
"Get the Belt."
382
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:03,500
Be inspired.
383
00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,083
[smooth R&B music]
384
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:09,750
- [giggles]
Mark, where are you taking me?
385
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,416
- Got you. We're here.
- Whoo.
386
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,166
- You ready?
- Yeah.
387
00:13:13,249 --> 00:13:15,541
[gasps]
388
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,958
- Happy anniversary.
389
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,833
[bell tolls]
390
00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:23,625
all: No!
391
00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:25,333
- A hot air balloon?
392
00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:27,458
A balloon full of hot air?
393
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:28,833
[ponderous electronic music]
394
00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,249
- What was Mark thinking?
395
00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:31,458
♪ ♪
396
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:33,792
- We are going to get airsick,
throw up,
397
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:35,583
and then pass out
and throw up.
398
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:37,958
- Do we look like
the kind of chick who says,
399
00:13:38,041 --> 00:13:39,416
"Here, just put my ass
up in a balloon
400
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:40,667
and shoot me into the sky"?
401
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,124
Them shits
don't even have seat belts.
402
00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:44,333
- This bulky synthetic wig
has made us top-heavy.
403
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:47,041
We are gonna tip over the side
and plunge to our death.
404
00:13:47,124 --> 00:13:48,958
- But Mark is worth the risk.
405
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,583
He's the one, ladies.
406
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:51,583
Besides,
we already wasted
407
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,333
our peak fertility years
with Andre.
408
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,041
- Oh, such a wet man.
409
00:13:55,124 --> 00:13:56,667
- Ugh.
- But at least he liked us.
410
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,999
- There's a man right here
who loves us,
411
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:00,541
and we love him.
412
00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:01,500
Get in the basket!
413
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,166
- I'd rather be
single and alive.
414
00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:04,792
Pssh, that's why
we need to make sure
415
00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:06,166
this balloon never
leaves the ground.
416
00:14:06,249 --> 00:14:07,124
- What do we do?
417
00:14:07,208 --> 00:14:08,124
- I don't know, start a fight.
418
00:14:08,208 --> 00:14:09,208
- We could get him
to break up with us.
419
00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:10,875
It's time to show him our feet.
420
00:14:10,958 --> 00:14:12,333
- Krystal, piss your pants.
421
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:13,667
- Krystal, get in
the death balloon
422
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,041
and act like you like it.
423
00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:16,833
- Krystal, it's toe time!
424
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:20,458
- Up there,
it'll just be me and you
425
00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,583
and the man I paid extra
not to talk to us.
426
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:23,667
- [shouting]
Can I tell you
427
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,999
one fascinating thing
about hot air balloons?
428
00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:27,333
- No, you cannot!
429
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:28,500
Let's go!
430
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:30,999
[flames roaring]
431
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,041
[dramatic music]
432
00:14:32,124 --> 00:14:34,124
- Hello, our wig!
433
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,708
This hair hat
is basically lighter fluid.
434
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,708
I knew we should have
sprung for human hair.
435
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:40,041
- You got human hair money?
436
00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:42,375
- Okay, we'd have room
in the budget if we decided
437
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,416
instead of ordering
two dinners every night.
438
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,458
- Nope.
439
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,166
So we just gonna
aggressively piss our pants
440
00:14:47,249 --> 00:14:48,833
so we don't have
to get in this balloon ride.
441
00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:50,416
- Just get in, okay?
442
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,708
So we get
a little crispy.
443
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:53,416
Our head's
been through worse.
444
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,667
Remember that home relaxer?
445
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,875
[hair sizzles]
446
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:57,375
[sighs]
Come on, ladies.
447
00:14:57,458 --> 00:14:58,917
Mark clearly
put a lot into this.
448
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,541
We can't just
leave him hanging.
449
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:01,917
- Maybe it's a trap.
450
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:03,541
What if he cheated on us
and he's feeling guilty?
451
00:15:03,625 --> 00:15:05,083
- Oh, well, then we definitely
getting in the balloon
452
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:06,541
so we can push
his ass out!
453
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:08,375
Try getting pussy
in the infirmary, Mark!
454
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:11,375
- Do not ruin this day
with a fight, okay?
455
00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:12,958
We went to
the botanical gardens.
456
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:14,708
We had lunch at the restaurant
457
00:15:14,792 --> 00:15:15,917
where we went
on our first date.
458
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,750
Mark took us
to get our nails done.
459
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:19,708
[dramatic musical sting]
460
00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:22,291
all: [gasp]
He's about to propose!
461
00:15:23,124 --> 00:15:25,041
[loud thud]
462
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,249
[upbeat romantic music]
- Let's go!
463
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:27,416
- Wait, hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
464
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:28,583
- Huh?
- I got you something.
465
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:29,999
I got you something.
- Oh.
466
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:33,083
I figured you'd do
that part in the sky, but okay.
467
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,625
♪ ♪
468
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,083
[music stops abruptly]
469
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:38,291
[birds chirping]
470
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:40,792
- Baby, I cannot make you
compromise your wig up there
471
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:43,083
with all that wind
and open flame, mm-mm.
472
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:44,458
So I got you this custom unit
473
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:47,750
handmade by Beyoncé's
wig wizard.
474
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:50,750
- This is the happiest day
of my life.
475
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,625
[upbeat romantic music]
476
00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:55,083
[laughs]
Will you marry me?
477
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:59,667
[flames roaring]
478
00:16:01,708 --> 00:16:04,875
- We are not going
to eat Robin!
479
00:16:04,958 --> 00:16:06,083
- She's all gristle.
480
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,166
- [scoffs]
481
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:09,583
I'm not actually saying
we are going to eat her.
482
00:16:09,667 --> 00:16:12,166
I am just saying that we are
bound to run out of food
483
00:16:12,249 --> 00:16:16,333
at some point because Quinta
already ate all the snacks.
484
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:18,833
- Why are you steady
bringing up old shit?
485
00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:20,500
- Robin, get up.
486
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:23,124
- If Robin's gone,
I have a few questions.
487
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:25,291
What are we gonna do
when the generator runs out?
488
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,458
How do we grow food
if we can't go outside?
489
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,208
What is the half-life--
- Quinta!
490
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,875
Robin, please get up.
491
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,458
Please do not leave me
here with them
492
00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:36,708
for the rest of eternity.
493
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,500
I never told you this, but...
494
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,333
[whispering indistinctly]
495
00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:44,792
- You had me muted
on Twitter?
496
00:16:46,249 --> 00:16:48,041
[sultry R&B music]
497
00:16:48,124 --> 00:16:50,875
- ♪ You don't need
to push me, baby ♪
498
00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:52,375
♪ ♪
499
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:55,958
♪ You know I'm already there ♪
500
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:56,958
- [giggles]
501
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:58,333
- We've been dreaming
about this evening
502
00:16:58,416 --> 00:17:00,667
ever since we saw you
at the biweekly church potluck.
503
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:01,833
- Mm-mm.
504
00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:04,416
- So have you ever been
a special guest star before?
505
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:05,416
- [chuckles]
506
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:06,667
- Why?
What have you heard?
507
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:07,875
They told me
they were gonna take
508
00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:09,458
all those episodes of
"Cheaters" off of the Internet.
509
00:17:09,541 --> 00:17:11,667
- No, no, I mean,
have you ever had a threesome?
510
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,833
- Oh, no,
this is my first time.
511
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:15,500
- Oh.
- Actually, it's been a while
512
00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:17,999
since I've had
even one partner
513
00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:19,291
other than myself.
514
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:21,667
- Uh, so how long
is a while?
515
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,041
- Uh, two years?
516
00:17:23,124 --> 00:17:23,999
both: Two years?
517
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:25,291
- Like Earth years?
518
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,208
- Well, we gonna fix that
right now.
519
00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:29,917
[all chuckle]
520
00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:31,208
- [clears throat]
521
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:32,375
- [giggles]
522
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,750
- Ooh.
523
00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:35,583
- Wait.
524
00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:36,875
- Oh! Oh!
Oh, my God.
525
00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:37,875
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
526
00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:39,833
Uh, of course.
We usually do a check-in.
527
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:42,083
- You know, I got so excited
to eat that taco,
528
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:43,750
I forgot to ask
if you have any boundaries.
529
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:44,833
Please.
530
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:45,917
- Uh, thank you so much.
531
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:46,958
- Of course, sure.
532
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,041
- Uh, just a couple
of little things.
533
00:17:48,124 --> 00:17:50,208
Um, no kissing.
534
00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:51,708
- Oh.
535
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:52,833
- Oh, totally.
536
00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,541
You know, that's fair,
very intimate.
537
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:56,249
I get it.
- Mm-hmm.
538
00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:57,917
- Uh, no holding hands.
539
00:17:57,999 --> 00:17:58,999
- Oh.
[chuckles]
540
00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:01,208
You know, hopefully our hands
will be full of, uh,
541
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:02,208
other things.
542
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:03,333
- No eye contact.
- Oh!
543
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,750
- No anal. No vaginal. No oral.
544
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,083
- No oral?
- Correct.
545
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:08,708
No going down.
No coming up.
546
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:11,249
My safeword is a stern look,
547
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:12,375
and I'm gonna need a copy
548
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,083
of everyone's last STD
and driver's license test.
549
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:17,375
- Well, damn,
is there anything else?
550
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:19,750
- Ooh...
♪ One more thing ♪
551
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,249
[sultry R&B music]
552
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,249
Mm.
553
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,458
- Okay.
- Okay.
554
00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:24,750
A bag of tricks.
555
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:26,583
- Hold on to that.
556
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,583
Definitely gonna want these.
557
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,249
- What? Okay.
558
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,583
- Gonna use that later.
559
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:33,124
- You wanna
tell me something?
560
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:34,458
Where did it--
- Here you go.
561
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:37,958
Uh, yeah, yeah.
562
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:39,041
- A squeegee?
563
00:18:39,124 --> 00:18:40,249
- Don't you hate it
when you just put
564
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,083
way too much
in your threesome purse?
565
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,750
- Yeah.
- You know?
566
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,999
Suit.
- A ha--
567
00:18:47,124 --> 00:18:49,500
- Okay, here we go.
568
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:50,958
- This the "Outbreak" suit.
569
00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:52,458
- Yeah.
- Oh, now we cookin'. Lube?
570
00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:54,958
- Uh, no, that's actually
hand sanitizer,
571
00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,625
but it's FDA approved
for more than just hands.
572
00:18:57,708 --> 00:18:58,792
- [sighs]
- Okay.
573
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:00,625
Uh, let's see here.
574
00:19:00,708 --> 00:19:02,458
Condoms.
- Oh, of course.
575
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,124
- Hand condoms.
576
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,917
And now let's get
to the fun part.
577
00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:10,917
[sultry R&B music]
578
00:19:10,999 --> 00:19:12,958
- She handed me
gloves.
579
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,249
- [giggles]
580
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:15,625
Who wants to shit
in my mouth?
581
00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:16,833
- Girl, what?
- What?
582
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,750
- Hey, nice mattress.
583
00:19:21,833 --> 00:19:23,667
[sultry R&B music]
584
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,124
- Casper Mattress:
for sleeping
585
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:29,625
and whatever else
y'all nasty asses are doing.
586
00:19:32,583 --> 00:19:34,041
["The People's Court" theme]
587
00:19:34,124 --> 00:19:35,999
- [humming]
588
00:19:36,083 --> 00:19:37,458
- Ooh.
589
00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:38,500
♪ ♪
590
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,541
- [squeaky]
Hey, girl.
591
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:40,625
[laughs]
592
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:44,124
- Well, black girl magic
for real.
593
00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:45,999
- Right?
- I know.
594
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:47,291
both: [laugh]
595
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:51,333
♪ ♪
596
00:19:51,416 --> 00:19:52,999
- Well, good morning.
597
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:53,999
- [laughs]
598
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:55,166
- God is good.
599
00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:56,208
both: All the time.
600
00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:57,500
- Amen.
601
00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:59,999
- Apologies for my tardiness,
Your Honor.
602
00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:03,291
My client was stuck
in a revolving door.
603
00:20:05,249 --> 00:20:07,750
What in the baby hair?
604
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,583
- It's a black lady courtroom.
[all chuckle]
605
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:13,041
- ♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
606
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,375
all: ♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
607
00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:16,583
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
608
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:17,583
- Okay!
609
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:18,999
- ♪ Black la-- ♪
610
00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:20,541
Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
611
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:22,416
- Yeah, y'all
shouldn't be dancing.
612
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:25,999
- I have been sitting
in this courtroom for 20 years,
613
00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:27,541
and I have never seen...
614
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:28,541
- I'm sorry, Your Honor.
We'll--
615
00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:31,041
- Melanin this poppin'!
616
00:20:31,124 --> 00:20:32,416
[laughter]
617
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,083
Cicely Tyson
would be very proud.
618
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,208
- Why would she
be proud of that?
619
00:20:35,291 --> 00:20:36,208
- [laughs]
All right.
620
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:37,541
[pounds gavel]
621
00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,708
- I'd like to call this
evidentiary hearing to order
622
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:42,291
in the civil matter
of Trina's Vintage Furniture
623
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,875
versus Sweet Song Restaurant.
624
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:46,208
First order of business:
625
00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:47,958
do you queens wanna
get lunch after this?
626
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:49,708
[laughter]
627
00:20:49,792 --> 00:20:52,375
- I would like to submit
to the court that
628
00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:55,083
Your Honor is welcome to dine
at Sweet Song anytime.
629
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,375
- Objection, Your Honor.
630
00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:57,958
Dining at
defendant's restaurant
631
00:20:58,041 --> 00:20:59,583
would be prejudicial.
632
00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:00,917
- You're right.
633
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,583
- But if you do go, plaintiff's
counsel likes to eat too.
634
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:03,583
[laughter]
635
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:04,875
- [laughs]
Sustained!
636
00:21:04,958 --> 00:21:06,124
- Excuse me,
this isn't professional--
637
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,083
- Uh, you know what, Trina?
638
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,416
Trina, let me
handle this, okay?
639
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:09,458
I got it.
I got ya.
640
00:21:09,541 --> 00:21:10,416
- Rude.
641
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,917
- [clears throat]
Unfortunately, my clients
642
00:21:11,999 --> 00:21:13,750
were unable
to attend this hearing,
643
00:21:13,833 --> 00:21:15,249
but I'm sure they would
appreciate it
644
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:17,124
if we took some time to
645
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:20,124
find out how my girl over there
got her goddess locs so right!
646
00:21:20,208 --> 00:21:21,291
- [laughs]
Thank you.
647
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,375
- I see you.
I see you.
648
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:24,291
- I'm suing her clients,
and I still feel the need
649
00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:26,124
to tell you that they
would not appreciate that.
650
00:21:26,208 --> 00:21:27,249
- It--
- Why would you say that?
651
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:28,750
That doesn't help your case.
- Because they wouldn't.
652
00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:30,333
- Counselors,
approach the bench.
653
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:31,750
- See?
- Thank you, Judge.
654
00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:32,750
Get them together, please.
655
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,083
- Ma'am.
- Hush! Shh, shh, courtroom.
656
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:37,041
- You guys can approach too.
657
00:21:37,124 --> 00:21:38,458
- Me too, Your Honor?
- You too, girl.
658
00:21:38,541 --> 00:21:39,625
- She needs to approach?
659
00:21:39,708 --> 00:21:41,166
- I've never been up there.
[laughs]
660
00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:42,458
- You made it.
661
00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:43,625
- Where did y'all
go to law school?
662
00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:45,583
- Oh, USC.
- I knew you looked familiar.
663
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:46,958
- What y'all talkin' 'bout?
664
00:21:47,041 --> 00:21:48,625
- Well, I'm going
to USC undergrad.
665
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:50,291
Are any of you Greek?
666
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,792
- AKA, first and finest.
667
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:52,999
- Wow!
- Hey, soror!
668
00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:54,583
- What y'all talkin' 'bout?
669
00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:55,833
- Black girl magic, man.
Okay, look.
670
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:57,500
- That's right.
- Get this photo.
671
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:58,999
- Now y'all taking a selfie.
672
00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:00,792
- Oh, put that Valencia filter
on, girl.
673
00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:01,792
We lit.
674
00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:04,333
- Ah!
- We lit. We so lit.
675
00:22:04,416 --> 00:22:05,625
- Good sidebar, ladies.
676
00:22:05,708 --> 00:22:07,124
You know, can you,
uh, AirDrop that to me?
677
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,541
- Absolutely.
- God bless y'all.
678
00:22:10,124 --> 00:22:13,416
- Your Honor, my client,
who clearly does not understand
679
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:16,166
the historic-ness
of this moment,
680
00:22:16,249 --> 00:22:19,333
recently reupholstered several
high-end chairs for the defense
681
00:22:19,416 --> 00:22:20,958
and was not paid
for her work.
682
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,999
- No disrespect
to my sister-in-law--get it?
683
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:25,291
- [laughs]
That's cute.
684
00:22:25,375 --> 00:22:26,541
- But the plaintiff
never actually
685
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,625
completed
the work in question.
686
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:31,375
If it pleases the court,
I'd like to consult exhibit B.
687
00:22:31,458 --> 00:22:32,667
- Take your time.
688
00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:35,750
- In fact, you'll see
there are no chairs,
689
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:38,875
and if there's no place to sit,
you must acquit.
690
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,458
- That's a solid Cochran.
691
00:22:40,541 --> 00:22:42,333
- All right, okay.
692
00:22:42,416 --> 00:22:43,708
[laughs]
693
00:22:43,792 --> 00:22:47,500
But as you can see from
my supplemental exhibit G,
694
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:50,667
my client clearly posted
time-stamped photos
695
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,833
of the chairs on Instagram.
696
00:22:52,917 --> 00:22:55,375
Defense counsel clearly just
removed them from her pic.
697
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,458
[laughs]
698
00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:57,875
You tried it, sis.
699
00:22:57,958 --> 00:22:59,667
- You right.
I'ma fool for that one.
700
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:02,208
- All right, the defense photos
are deemed inadmissible,
701
00:23:02,291 --> 00:23:06,166
and I hereby deem this
courtroom ready to kiki.
702
00:23:06,249 --> 00:23:07,208
[taps gavel]
703
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,166
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
704
00:23:08,249 --> 00:23:09,500
- What does that mean?
705
00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:11,583
together:
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
706
00:23:11,667 --> 00:23:13,875
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
707
00:23:13,958 --> 00:23:14,875
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
708
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:15,917
- Okay, I don't understand.
709
00:23:15,999 --> 00:23:17,875
Does this mean
that it's just over?
710
00:23:17,958 --> 00:23:19,708
- Yeah, and you won.
711
00:23:19,792 --> 00:23:20,875
- I won?
- Uh-huh.
712
00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:22,708
- Oh, shit,
thank you, Judge!
713
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:24,333
- Okay, also
thank you me.
714
00:23:24,416 --> 00:23:26,708
all:
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
715
00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:28,750
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
716
00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:31,208
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
717
00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:32,667
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
718
00:23:32,750 --> 00:23:33,750
- Ladies!
719
00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:35,166
Ladies.
720
00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:36,375
- [squeaky]
Oh?
721
00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:38,208
- Anybody got any Carmex?
722
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,458
They don't have any over
at the white man's courtroom.
723
00:23:40,541 --> 00:23:43,249
- Oh, you know I just happen
to have some in my bra, boo.
724
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:45,416
[laughs]
Help yourself.
725
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,625
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
726
00:23:47,708 --> 00:23:49,249
together:
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
727
00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:50,249
- Hey!
728
00:23:50,333 --> 00:23:51,999
together:
♪ Black lady courtroom ♪
729
00:23:53,958 --> 00:23:56,583
- Robin, everyone
is going crazy.
730
00:23:56,667 --> 00:23:57,917
I'm glad you're not dead.
731
00:23:57,999 --> 00:23:59,208
- Of course
I'm not dead.
732
00:23:59,291 --> 00:24:01,416
I always pass out when
I'm being personally attacked.
733
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:02,416
It's my white side.
734
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:03,416
- Quinta tried
to eat you, girl.
735
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,458
- I'ma eat you if you
keep talking shit, okay?
736
00:24:05,541 --> 00:24:07,083
- Oh, you ain't gonna
eat nothin'.
737
00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:09,583
- Ladies, enough!
738
00:24:09,667 --> 00:24:13,249
It is far too early for us
to be losing our minds.
739
00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:16,083
We have to look out
for each other.
740
00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:18,208
We have to have
each other's backs.
741
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:20,999
We're all we got.
742
00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:22,833
It's just us.
743
00:24:22,917 --> 00:24:23,833
[doorbell rings]
744
00:24:23,917 --> 00:24:24,833
Oh?
745
00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:27,833
[pulsing dramatic music]
746
00:24:27,917 --> 00:24:31,917
♪ ♪
747
00:24:34,541 --> 00:24:37,500
[pulsing dramatic music]
748
00:24:37,583 --> 00:24:42,333
♪ ♪
749
00:24:42,416 --> 00:24:45,333
[upbeat electronic music]
750
00:24:45,416 --> 00:24:52,416
♪ ♪
751
00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,166
- What y'all
conversating about?
752
00:25:36,249 --> 00:25:37,708
What y'all bond about?
753
00:25:37,792 --> 00:25:39,166
How y'all whisper laughing?
754
00:25:39,249 --> 00:25:41,041
Can my lawyer please stop
Nae Nae-ing?
755
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,708
- Apologies for my tardiness,
Your Honor.
756
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,792
My client
had a flat tire,
757
00:25:46,875 --> 00:25:49,541
even though she
doesn't have a car.
758
00:25:49,625 --> 00:25:51,917
My apologies for my tardiness,
Your Honor.
759
00:25:51,999 --> 00:25:56,708
My client got caught
in a push door trying to pull.
760
00:25:56,792 --> 00:25:58,541
Apologies for my tardiness,
Your Honor.
761
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:01,208
My client was getting her
hair braided by Cory Booker.
762
00:26:01,291 --> 00:26:03,166
He's cheap,
but he's slow.
763
00:26:04,291 --> 00:26:05,333
[loud thud]
764
00:26:05,416 --> 00:26:07,541
- Girl, get up.
He's 'bout to propose.
765
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:08,541
Girl, get up.
766
00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:09,583
- I'm dead.
767
00:26:09,667 --> 00:26:10,917
- You dead?
- I'm dead.
768
00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:12,833
- Her insecurity died.
- Well, that's good.
769
00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:14,208
We 'bout to be
more confident.
770
00:26:14,291 --> 00:26:15,291
- Cut!
771
00:26:27,500 --> 00:26:29,500
[bright tone]
51127
