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1
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,009
kudos to you, Mike.
A special show for
2
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:11,944
these underprivileged
kids. What a great idea.
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,880
You know, I don't think I've ever
seen a female magician before.
4
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,548
Really, sir?
5
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:18,584
Your ex-wife made half
your fortune disappear.
6
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:24,857
Not ready to laugh at
that yet, are we, sir?
7
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,361
Yeah!
Bravo!
8
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:32,631
This is wonderful.
Look at the glow on these kids' faces.
9
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,434
It's nice to give them a day
that's just about them, you know?
10
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:36,869
O.k., now I need
a volunteer.
11
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:37,870
Ooh. Ooh-ooh.
Ooh.
12
00:00:37,937 --> 00:00:39,772
Ah, not so fast, shorty.
13
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,409
And how old are you, young man?
14
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:47,079
I'm 30, I'm single, and I'm
the deputy mayor of new York.
15
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:50,382
Well, aren't you cute.
Get in the box.
16
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,658
I see. You're gonna make
those swords disappear
17
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:03,595
while I watch from the
safety of this box.
18
00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,564
Oh, God, I can't look.
19
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,533
Oh grow up, Paul.
It's just a trick.
20
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,603
That's not really
Mike in there.
21
00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:14,006
What do you say
the 2 of us-ow-
22
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,375
go out for dinner sometime?
23
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,877
Hey kids, he just
asked me to dinner.
24
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:19,945
Should I go?
25
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,980
Go! Go!
Go!
26
00:01:22,048 --> 00:01:24,350
I love kids.
27
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:26,385
Pick me up at 7.
28
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:29,088
o. k.
, I'll see you tonight, then.
29
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,582
O.k., regarding Saturday's
softball game and the 15-0
30
00:01:56,649 --> 00:02:00,319
shellacking we took from
the cast of cabaret...
31
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,125
It's time to shake
up the batting order.
32
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,060
Paul, you're no longer
batting clean-up.
33
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,461
Where will I be?
34
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,097
You'll be on the bench,
cutting orange slices.
35
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,432
Does that mean I get to play?
36
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,200
Yeah.
37
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,302
Yes!
38
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,371
But since you will be
representing us on
39
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,640
the playing field,
one bit of advice-
40
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,742
cup goes on the inside.
41
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:28,514
And just between you and me,
42
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:32,985
you might want to peel the boys, ages 8
to 11 sticker off that baby.
43
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:38,557
Gotcha, coach.
44
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:42,027
Stuart, the league asked me to
replace you as first base coach.
45
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,898
Generally, you're only permitted to
pat your own teammates on the ass.
46
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,301
But Mike, when am I gonna get
another chance to touch an actress?
47
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,737
I mean meet an actress?
48
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:54,840
You need a woman
who's more grounded.
49
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,376
Someone with a nice,
stable career.
50
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,012
Like a magician.
51
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,382
Kaari is a wonderful woman,
and we are very close.
52
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,719
Mike, I got that magic
chick's last name for you.
53
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:07,753
Thank you.
54
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,188
And Stuart, this
just came for you.
55
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,956
Huh.
56
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,026
Hey Mike, it's official!
We are incorporated and licensed to sell booze.
57
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,527
Yes!
58
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,931
How cool is this?
I'm friends with someone who owns a bar.
59
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,633
Finally I can get
into a vip room.
60
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,670
Why, who do you know?
61
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,339
I can't believe you're
opening a bar with Stuart.
62
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:31,076
Just him being there has to be some
kind of health code violation.
63
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,812
What better way to go into
business than with a friend.
64
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,815
50-50, even Steven, as
much yours as it is mine.
65
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,217
So what's the place called?
66
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,885
Flaherty's.
67
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,391
Nikki, I'm collecting
for the dance-a-thon.
68
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,793
Um, I danced 10 hours
so you owe me 40 bucks.
69
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,129
What was the cause?
70
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,866
It's a disease, but with
your help we'll find a cure.
71
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,501
You have no idea, do you?
72
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,902
I heard "dance".
73
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,006
I can't believe you're
getting paid to dance.
74
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,175
That would be like James
getting paid to be confused.
75
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,543
What?
76
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:07,613
I'm not getting paid?
77
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,415
Mr. Mayor, I'm
glad I caught you.
78
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,751
Um, you pledged $10 an hour for my
dance-a-thon, and I was collecting-
79
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:16,055
oh, absolutely.
Whoops, no wallet.
80
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,057
Who wants to spot me a hundred?
81
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,191
I'll pay for you, sir.
82
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,492
Well thank you, James.
83
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,694
Dance-a-thon, huh?
84
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,228
Yes, sir.
85
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,431
Damn. I thought I was
getting cookies.
86
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,299
Love those thin mints.
87
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,471
You know, I know
a little magic.
88
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,474
It's all about
misdirection. Ready?
89
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,775
Look in my kitchen.
90
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,082
ha ha ha.
91
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,116
Thank you.
92
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,184
Thank you very much.
93
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:53,859
Uh, listen. You don't know how to
read minds or anything, do you?
94
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,694
You know, I am
picking something up.
95
00:04:55,762 --> 00:05:00,132
You're hoping we
have socks tonight?
96
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,233
Ah, it's gone.
97
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,602
No no no, it's good.
Keep going.
98
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,637
Was it something like this?
99
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,909
Listen, kaari, I gotta
be honest with you.
100
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,245
I just came off a relationship,
101
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,280
and I'm not looking for
anything serious. You know?
102
00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,815
Neither am I.
103
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,718
I just like you and thought
we could have a little fun.
104
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,720
Besides. Who would
want a boyfriend
105
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,356
who forgets to clean behind his ears?
106
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,891
What are you talking about?
107
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:31,630
You're a very good magician.
108
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,735
I love you.
109
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,243
That's super.
110
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,986
I don't know how she smuggled that
"I love you" into the bedroom.
111
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:57,589
Must have been wearing an
ankle holster or something.
112
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,159
I strip-searched her
pretty thoroughly.
113
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:04,296
No self-respecting girl would
say those words so quickly.
114
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,465
I don't know about that.
115
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,000
What's the quickest
you ever said it, Nikki?
116
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,135
I said it to a guy
on a first date...
117
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,504
When he buzzed up
on the intercom.
118
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:17,710
Mike, I have to congratulate
you on your marketing savvy.
119
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,212
These free drink
coupons? Great idea.
120
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,580
One per customer, Paul.
121
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,115
Come on, I mean, of course.
122
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,717
Paul, I have those copies you wanted.
123
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,919
Not now, not now...
124
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:31,523
West 19th street?
That's a pretty gay neighborhood.
125
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,926
Hey, Stuart and I got a great
deal on a great space.
126
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:35,961
It happens to be in a
predominantly gay neighborhood,
127
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,230
but, you know, we're not going
to pander to any one group.
128
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,765
Hey Mike, you're
like a 30 waist, right?
129
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,066
Yeah, why?
130
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,035
'Cause I got you cut-off
shorts and a tank top
131
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,037
so you can gay up
for tonight's opening.
132
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,375
Now we just need to change
the name of the place.
133
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,609
What's a good name
for a gay bar?
134
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:53,812
Bite me.
135
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,080
That'll work.
136
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,181
I can't believe it.
137
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,716
Hey, I did some research.
138
00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,953
If we opened up a straight bar,
we'd be bankrupt in a week.
139
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,889
If we open up a fruit stand,
we'll be rolling in dough.
140
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,724
Mike, please tell me
you're not going to
141
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,593
participate in this
charade. It's offensive.
142
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,695
How High up will these
babies be riding?
143
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:13,399
You'll be showing no more than a
quarter cheek on either side.
144
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,500
Mike...
145
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,168
All right, you're right.
146
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,504
Stuart, if this is the way you want
to go, just find another investor.
147
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,040
I'll buy his share.
148
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,108
Wait a minute.
What happened to "it'd be offensive"?
149
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,110
Well it would be
for you, not for me.
150
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,478
I'm here, I'm queer,
let's sell some beer.
151
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,017
S- Stacy!
152
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,788
Stacy, could you pull the lever, please?
I'm stuck.
153
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,390
You still haven't gotten your money
back from the mayor, have you?
154
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,392
I can't feel my fingers!
155
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,530
I lend money to someone, I get it back.
I don't care who it is.
156
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,600
That money I'm dropping in the collection plate?
I'm keeping track.
157
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,071
James, you all right?
158
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,641
I'm hungry, sir.
159
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,676
I didn't have enough
cash for lunch today.
160
00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,678
Well, hunger is a funny thing.
161
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,815
For instance, I just had a huge
steak at a 4-star restaurant,
162
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:06,352
yet I still have this
craving for a Candy bar.
163
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:10,322
Stole a mint from the bowl in the lobby,
and drank 6 non-dairy creamers.
164
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:17,062
Hmm. This thing
doesn't take 20s.
165
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,931
You wouldn't have
a dollar, would you?
166
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:23,502
I just have one, sir, but I'm
saving it for a subway token home.
167
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,805
Well, spoil yourself.
Take a cab.
168
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,616
boy, look at the crowd in here.
169
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,185
I can't believe I pulled
out of this place.
170
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,454
Come on, Mike.
Looks can be deceiving.
171
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,656
I know there are a lot
of people in here,
172
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,825
but that doesn't necessarily
translate into cash.
173
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:50,929
Carter, quick, you gotta help me.
We've run out of places to put money.
174
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,531
Put it in the ladies' room.
175
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:53,899
Good thinking.
176
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,473
All right, here's your beer.
177
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,577
I love you.
178
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,112
Here's yours.
179
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:10,149
I love you too, Mike.
180
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,818
Silly. That only
works for me.
181
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,625
So, did your new girlfriend
have a good time last night?
182
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:23,362
Actually, sir, she got a little clingy.
Had to break it off.
183
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,431
Well, I hope you
let her down easy.
184
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,200
Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned.
185
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,803
Sir, it was one date.
I'm sure she's already moved on.
186
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,977
then again, maybe not.
187
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:48,620
Now, Mike. Promise
me you're not angry.
188
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,461
Angry about a tiger
in my office?
189
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,165
What a delightful prank.
190
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,901
Tony's a sweetie.
191
00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:06,739
But he got very angry when
I told him you dumped me.
192
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:12,611
Aw, Tony... pal...
There was a miscommunication.
193
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,850
When I said I didn't want to
see kaari, I meant last night.
194
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,186
Today... today's
a whole new day.
195
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:24,656
Tony knows you'd never
break up with me.
196
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,825
Does Tony know I'm
mostly gristle?
197
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,697
You can make it
up to me tonight.
198
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,432
Dinner at your place
with my parents
199
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,834
so they can see how
serious we are.
200
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:39,471
Oh yeah, I was just
going to suggest that.
201
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:42,975
You might want to leave the tiger
at home, though, because, uh...
202
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:47,079
I just finished my
last gazelle carcass.
203
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,251
don't tell me that's
Tony's feeding time.
204
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,119
Just time to take
my medication.
205
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:59,825
But I don't need it anymore,
because I'm in love.
206
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:03,929
Oh, why don't you
throw down a couple.
207
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,964
Just for old times' sake.
208
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,774
you guys are late.
209
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:19,545
What can I say?
We got caught up at the bank.
210
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,681
There's a lot of paperwork involved when
you make an unusually large deposit.
211
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:26,952
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmm-mmmm.
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmm-mmmm.
212
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,022
What, I'm supposed to be jealous just
because you're making a lot of money? Huh?
213
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:34,960
No, even though the check had
so many zeros in it it went...
214
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,995
Oooooooooooooh.
215
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,330
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmm-mmmm.
Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmm-mmmm.
216
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,032
All right, all right.
Cut it out!
217
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:44,069
I'm sorry, Paul.
You're right. Hey...
218
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,840
Here's 5 bucks.
That make everything all right?
219
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:51,543
Well, looks like Claudia's getting a
bottle of wine with dinner tonight.
220
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:57,950
Ooh, I forgot.
This came for you.
221
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,018
Citation...
222
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:06,058
Citation for allowing dancing
without the proper licenses.
223
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,594
Stuart, I thought you said
you got all the licenses.
224
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,330
Apparently I lied.
225
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,366
Look, what is the big deal?
We'll just have dancing anyway.
226
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,734
No, we'll get shut down.
227
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:18,303
Carter, we own a dance bar.
228
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,005
We can't stay open
without dancing.
229
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:24,810
Let me tell you something
about the gay people...
230
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,280
They need to dance.
They hear music, they can't help themselves.
231
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,382
Let me tell you something
about the straight people.
232
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,351
You're a fool.
233
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:39,291
As you know, I believe in clinging to
relationships long after they're over.
234
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,527
But I think you should
let this one go.
235
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,096
The first time I dumped her
I got a tiger in my office.
236
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,065
Next time it's gonna be,
"oh, we think it's Mike,
237
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,967
but we have to check
the dental records. "
238
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,403
So what are you gonna do,
stay with this girl forever?
239
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,673
I figure we'll be
married 2, 3 years tops...
240
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,909
I'll have her committed...
241
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,977
And I'm out of there.
242
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,313
So you're meeting
her parents tonight.
243
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,849
Just offend them.
She'll dump you for sure.
244
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,284
You ever done that?
245
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,618
Yeah.
246
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,888
Not on purpose.
247
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,424
Maybe you're right.
She won't be able to do anything,
248
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,326
because there will
be witnesses there.
249
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,728
I'm not afraid to take her on.
250
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,830
aaaaaah!
251
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,334
Gotcha, Flaherty.
252
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:28,173
Teach me how to be the kind of
person who gets his money back.
253
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,408
Hey, that's my lucky pen.
254
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,710
I just borrowed it.
How are you gonna get it back?
255
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:35,647
Well, in Wisconsin, people
return things when they're done.
256
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,916
Could you not bite the pen?
257
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,419
James, forget the stupid pen.
258
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,322
You wanna know how
things work in Brooklyn?
259
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,458
When you borrow something,
you pay it back quickly.
260
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:47,726
And if you don't?
261
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,929
You move to Wisconsin.
262
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,699
Now listen, just ask the
mayor for your money back.
263
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:54,800
I don't want to embarrass him.
264
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,403
- Then just take it.
- Excuse me?
265
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,606
Well, the man never seems to be carrying his wallet.
It must be somewhere.
266
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:03,275
top-left drawer.
267
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,943
Cough drop?
268
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,113
Top-left drawer!
269
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,882
No, I've got some right here.
270
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:13,452
James, the mayor's wallet is in
his top-left drawer of his desk.
271
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,622
Wait a second.
How did you know that?
272
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,525
Won't I get in trouble for that?
I'm not going to steal from the mayor!
273
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,994
James, you're not stealing.
The money is yours. Just take it,
274
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:25,764
and when you see the mayor, explain to
him that you didn't want to disturb him.
275
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,032
O.k., all right,
I'll do it.
276
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,036
Where's he keep his wallet?
277
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,938
I'm kidding, I'm not an idiot.
278
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,479
How did you and kaari meet?
279
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:46,051
It was 2 a. m.
, I was on the floor of the bar,
280
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:50,589
I looked up, and there she was.
281
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,559
Actually, it was
a charity event.
282
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,428
I'll say it was.
283
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,597
See, I told you he was funny.
284
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,066
Oh you know, I want
to applaud you for
285
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:05,037
the loose moral code you've
instilled in your daughter.
286
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,306
I don't want to
get too graphic,
287
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,842
but let's just say caviar...
288
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,011
Really gets her going.
289
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,779
O.k., that's just
about enough.
290
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:16,248
Linda, we're leaving.
291
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:19,485
Kaari, we'll wait for you downstairs.
292
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,628
Wow.
293
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,998
Really messed that up.
294
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:37,703
No one has ever talked
to my parents like that.
295
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:40,406
Sorry...
296
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:44,209
I just really didn't like them.
297
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,578
Neither do I!
298
00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,081
Oh, I love you, Mike.
299
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,082
Still, huh?
300
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,984
Even more now.
301
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,120
I gotta go do a gig tonight,
but when I get back,
302
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:59,725
my next trick will be making my
name appear on your mailbox.
303
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,761
Ah. Honey, you know tonight's
not really a good night for
304
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:06,298
taking over my life. Because I gotta go...
I gotta go away, uh...
305
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:12,304
On this business trip, uh, upstate...
uh, at the upstate inn.
306
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,973
Anyway, I'm gonna be away for a few
days, uh, uh, so I gotta pack.
307
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:17,276
H- h-have a nice weekend.
308
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,948
Leg's asleep.
309
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,117
Stop it, what are you doing?
310
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,418
I'm shaking my leg.
311
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,787
There's no shaking your leg,
no shaking your bootie,
312
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,124
no shaking your groove thing.
Stuart didn't get the cabaret license
313
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:33,992
so this is a dance-
free zone.
314
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:37,029
"Stuart didn't get the
cabaret license. "
315
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:37,930
Well you
didn't get-
316
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,031
uh-huh.
317
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,232
You didn't get-
uh-huh.
318
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,368
Oh, hell, you're perfect.
319
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,837
We pulled the plug
on the jukebox,
320
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,305
no music, no dancing.
321
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,573
Stuart and Carter's bar.
322
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:52,911
The quiet alternative to fun.
323
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:56,248
Didn't kaari tell you that we hired
her for this evening's entertainment?
324
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,083
Carter, no!
325
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,019
Kaari is
a psycho, o. k.?
326
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:02,254
After she pulls the
rabbit out of the hat,
327
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:06,492
she boils it.
328
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,327
Hey, bunny.
329
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,929
Ah. Hi, kaari.
Uh, listen.
330
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,598
We, uh, we need to talk.
331
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,366
I thought you were out of town.
332
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,002
He flew all the way back to see
you because he knew how important
333
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,871
your act was to our
bar tonight.
334
00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,507
But why did you fly when you
didn't even leave the state?
335
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,043
I'm trying to build
up the miles.
336
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:28,981
All right, James.
Here comes the mayor.
337
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,184
Now just tell him what you did right
away, and everything will be fine.
338
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,687
James, someone stole
$100 out of my wallet.
339
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,855
Too late.
340
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,824
I don't even want to
know who did it, because
341
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:45,564
I don't want to attach a face to the
disappointment and the hurt that I feel.
342
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:46,932
I'm gonna call up security,
343
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,500
have them review
the surveillance tapes,
344
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,237
arrest the culprit, and I'll
never have to look at him.
345
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,306
Oh, one more thing, James.
346
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,874
This is for you.
347
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,377
It's for the money that
you lent me a couple days ago.
348
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,412
Oh, God.
349
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,749
Give me the money.
Give me the money.
350
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,250
Uh... mr. Mayor?
351
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,852
Before you go...
352
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,754
Can I hug you?
353
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:12,758
I mean, I just feel so
sorry about your loss.
354
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:15,661
Ah, it was only $100.
355
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:21,567
Thank you, Stacey.
356
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,836
Next time I lose something,
I'll make sure
357
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,338
that you're the first to know.
358
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:29,575
Sir, one more thing.
359
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:34,113
Whenever I lose $100, I seem to
find it in my jacket pocket.
360
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,280
Huh.
361
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,016
No.
362
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,351
In my left jacket pocket.
363
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,789
Well, I'll be.
364
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:46,358
Here, the whole time.
365
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:49,862
Well, I'm just gonna go home
and check all my suits.
366
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,569
O.k., I'm gonna need
a volunteer.
367
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,171
Me! Me! Pick me!
368
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:01,674
How about a big hand for Paul!
369
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,546
How do I get rid of this woman?
I will try anything.
370
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,115
Be a man. Tell her
how you feel.
371
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,084
Something else.
372
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,220
All locked in, Paul?
373
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,590
Yes, stranger,
I am locked in this box,
374
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,592
and I cannot free myself.
375
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:26,298
How will I escape
this terrible fate?
376
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,600
Would you come up
and be my beautiful assistant?
377
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,601
Actually-
378
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:30,602
now!
379
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,670
Coming.
380
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,678
You know, when we get married,
381
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,281
I'll make you your own costume.
382
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,917
Kaari, you and I
are never getting married.
383
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:49,655
Mike, are you sure this is
the best time for this?
384
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,323
Ow!
385
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,458
This thing is just over.
386
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,393
Nothing is over
till I say it is.
387
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,900
oh, my God!
388
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,802
Oh, my legs! My legs!
389
00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,406
I can't see you anymore.
390
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,008
He doesn't know
what he's saying.
391
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,275
Why?
392
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,811
Because we're not a good match.
393
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,446
I'm sane, you're nuts!
394
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:20,452
I did it!
395
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,555
I did it, Paulie!
I'm free.
396
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,957
Hey, everyone's leaving.
397
00:20:25,025 --> 00:20:27,626
I'll just turn on the jukebox.
398
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:32,031
noooooooo!
399
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,403
you two own this bar?
400
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,704
Not anymore.
401
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,473
You're not licensed
for dancing.
402
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,776
I'm shutting you down.
403
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,913
We had a dream.
404
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:51,517
And we followed it
as far as we could.
405
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,253
Hell of a ride, wasn't it?
406
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,856
Stuart, we were open
for two days.
407
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,858
Give me a break, all right?
408
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,060
I lost all my money.
409
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:05,798
Yeah.
410
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,032
Hell of a ride.
411
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,200
Don't touch me.
412
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,639
Hello?
413
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,310
Hello?
414
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,313
Oh, my! I must have
panicked slept!
415
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:22,314
Anybody! Marco!
416
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:23,816
Anybody, please!
417
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,418
Oh, my God! My leg!
418
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,821
Those aren't my shoes.
419
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:32,524
Those are beautiful shoes.
420
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,532
I hope you learned something
from this, Stacey.
421
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,435
Huh? You don't have
to bully people
422
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,270
or steal from them
to get what's owed you.
423
00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:49,308
Where I come from, we can rely on
a little thing we call fairness.
424
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:53,178
Check the envelope, skippy.
425
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:56,315
I don't have to because
it is a card that says...
426
00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:57,616
"Thank you for the loan.
427
00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:00,219
I will pay you back soon. "
428
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:04,156
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
429
00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:08,027
moo.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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