Original subtitles

Comrades, comrades! We continue!

We have a letter from preschool #8, objecting to the garages being built where children are.

Inspectors visited.

Unexpected expenses arose in the form of refreshments.

You understand, one cannot do without that.

Next. In the night, residents Of the neighboring building...

...planted some fast-growing trees on our construction site,

And in the morning, they telegraphed the Executive Council, saying that we

...are destroying the neighborhood greenery.

THANK GOD, 11 of the trees didn�t take root.

Again the inspectors came.

But we were prepared.

3 remaining trees were, smeared with fuel oil.

We had to pay a fine for the 3 trees that perished.

But we defended our lot with success.

We got great assistance from comrade Miloserdov [Compassion-ov] personally.

As such, we again make the deadline for passing the construction

...this year.

This means, garage will get approval in the 2nd quarter of next year.

But we will sign the act of approval dating this year.

That way the building trust will get their completion bonuses.

But that concerns them.

Two acts of arson were committed.

The first to burn down was the workers� tool shed with their tools.

Next, the wooden fence went ablaze, but we caught just in the knick time�

...the arsonist.

She turned out to be a mother with many kids. She was released.

During construction, the telephone wire got damaged.

Residents of those homes which lost phone connection

...tried to hard members of the board physically.

Once again, unexpected costs came up.

We decided to reimburse the cost of a coat belonging to one

...member of the board, that got destroyed in the process.

I mean the jacked, not the board member.

At the present time, the cable has been repaired.

Construction workers took extra responsibilities on themselves.

...but last week�

...the brigade once again failed to show up to the work site.

It was temporarily moved to an emergency repair site.

That emergency, unfortunately, got drawn out.

But yesterday we got our workers back.

So things are going not bad.

And that�s basically all.

Comrades, who votes yes?

Yes for what?

Who votes yes to recognize the work of the board of

the �Fauna� co-operative to be satisfactory?

Why satisfactory?

It should be recognized as �good�.

That�s right. Lots of hard work got put in. Can be recognized as �good�:

Good work!

Get on with it, let�s recognize it as wonderful and everyone can go home!

Comrades, we cannot have �good work�.

It�s either �satisfactory� or �unsatisfactory�.

Who votes for �satisfactory�?

Adopted unanimously. Big thanks on behalf of the board.

Permission to leave?

The assembly is not yet adjourned.

Alla Petrovna, the secretary, has the floor.

Please be seated, comrades.

The board is requesting to hear out the report

about the board�s financial activities.

Your babe showed up.

She got some nerve. Now she attends these assemblies.

Good evening, So how long can you convene in here?

Why did you come?

For an urgent matter.

Let�s go chat behind the white bear?

You�re making me look kinda bad.

The whole institute knows about your sick liver. Now eat.

I�m not talking of that liver now.

Then what?

You know full well what.

I don�t get it.

There�s so many people here, and everyone sees everything.

See what?

Natasha, quit fooling around!

The entire institute knows of our relationship.

I have to worry about my reputation.

I�m a woman.

Why are you shivering?

You�re a single, free man.

All our expenses were made according to our estimates.

But, comrades, we have some expenses over the limit.

The putty, for instance.

In the sum of $55, which is now hanging on us.

What a nightmare, when will this end?

My rascal is locked in the house all alone.

How old is the boy?

Already 7.

By the time we get out of here, he�ll turn 8.

Could be 10.

Aren�t you afraid to leave him home alone?

No, not at all.

He�s used to being home alone.

Quite an independent young man.

I took the time to stop over and feed him.

The board is asking to approve the financial report.

Who votes yes? Comrades, please vote.

Wonderful. Thank you.

Just one more small, but rather big question.

Life is so full of questions!

One wishes it contained only answers.

Certainly, positive ones.

Yes.

But not from you.

So, I�m starting off with a negative answer.

Can you imagine, I managed to get chicken, fish and ham.

I understand that chicken is a very important thing.

But I request silence.

Sorry, but still...

Comrades, this question is a very delicate one.

In some ways, a very upsetting one.

Me personally, it kills me.

My dears, our project includes 33 garage slots.

Which is why we have 32 shareholders.

One garage was allocated as a place for car repair.

You must know that the city adopted a general reconstruction plan for our area.

It spans right up to the boarder to our construction site

...they�re putting a highway there.

It will encroach on one portion of our land lot.

Which is why the number of our garage spots got reduced by 5.

Can�t they move the highway over?

Comrades, we tried to convince them to leave our lot untouched.

But you grasp the issue here. It�s a highway.

It�s a straight line.

The only solution is to reduce the number of

...shareholders by 5 people.

God knows what will start now.

We called an emergency board meeting.

We decided to make do without the repair-garage.

Main thing for us is �people! Not cars.

We�ll have to cut only 4 people, and not 5.

Four is better than five

But worse than three.

We weighed each candidacy meticulously.

We took everything into consideration.

We reviewed who contributed money and when.

Who helped out with construction.

Who took trips to petition different organizations.

Who sacrificed their Saturdays for urban renewal.

Who stood guard in the nights.

And now I will read the list of people whom�

...we propose to exclude.

What�s all the sweet talk? Business is business.

To exclude � unfortunately.

And immediately place on our next list,

...on our reserve list. We will fight for a second quieu.

Someone can forfeit their share voluntarily,

or forfeit their life. Life is life.

Comrades! This list received consent from the directors

...and the insitute�s social organizations.

Ok.

I�m about to get the boot.

I have two garages for my one family.

Therefore, I read this list with pain in my heart.

Read it.

With pain in my heart I am reading it.

Read it!

Khvostov, Simon Aleksandrovich.

We all fought hard for comrade Khvostov,

...tried to keep him on.

But our efforts also have limits, comrades.

Number two. Gus�kov, Evgeny Ivanovich.

We all feel great sympathy for him.

How Guskov?

Why Guskov?

I knew it.

I will not let you torment my husband!

Guskov�s wife, don�t get upset!

Don�t make a scene!

Guskov is a well-known scapegoat in our institute.

He makes discoveries, while others reap the awards.

He�s writing a report for a symposium in Paris,

...while you, comrade Anikeeva, take trips there to buy goodies.

And Guskov, instead of Paris, gets send to Nizhniy Tagel.

He gets $2.60/day for going there.

And he got back-breaking arthritis there.

Guskov�s wife, calm donw. Take your seat.

Regarding Paris, that decision was made

in appropriate circles.

First of all, I am a PhD.

My works in hornitology have been translated into French.

I so much wanted Guskov to go.

So much! But...

Regarding goodies...

I spent all my money on scientific books.

Really?

Then who imported the cassette player?

- Have you ever seen it? - I did!

- Have you heard it? -I did!

- Have you even turned it on? - I did!

Have you no shame.

OK, that�s it...

Honest to God, just like a child.

Be so kind, hand me a copy of that list.

Fetisov, Vitalii Kuzmich.

Comrade Fetisov made it on this sorrowful list.

Are you for real?! How can you expel me?!

I sold out the Motherland for my car.

What?

What�s with you?

Nothing.

I request that the fact of selling out the Motherland be placed in the minutes.

How much did they pay you for that?

Did you get paid in rubles or in convertible currency?

In rubles!

Got enough for the Zaparozhets model and for this garage.

Why did you sell out so cheap?

I didn�t sell some dacha in Moscow suburbs.

It was just a house in a village.

A 2-story house on a 15-acre plot.

But the comforts in the garden of that house...!

No one appreciates that. Everyone�s become educated nowadays

It�s 7.5 kilometers from the train station, as you drag your shopping bags

But the view from the house onto the river!

Purge the selling-out part from the minutes.

My grandfather built that house.

And my father was born there. And me.

When my mother died, my wife kept pestering me:

Let�s sell! Let�s sell!

Who needs this piece of ruin?

Ruin.

There�s a barn in the garden, iron-covered.

And what a cellar!

This lyrical departure needs to come to an end.

Our river is still rich with fish!

Despite everything, Despite all institutes

And I sold it. And the board sold me out.

Look at him, the manager of the insect department!

Chased too many butterflies.

See who has it good.

And the last name is...

Yakubov, Aleksandr Grigorievich.

As sad as it is.

I personally know comrade Yakubov for a hundred years.

For 100 years we�ve known his positive personality.

But nonetheless, someone has to be expelled.

Khvostov, don�t strain your tendons. It�s bad for you!

Where did this chatterbox come from?

It�s in bad taste to speak that way!

Simon Aleksandrovich is our best lab worker!

I�ll tell you everything in order!

You�re not a co-op member. Sit down and relax!

Comrades! I want to go home! I came here straight from the marital court!

Let me go!

Khvostov works with the fauna of the Northern Ocean.

And he loves our seal, Boris, with gentleness.

When Boris fell ill, he jumped into the icy pool

...so that the seal could get its meds.

That�s how Khvostov caught a cold and lost his voice.

A very touching story.

He is protesting loudly against injustice!

Did I understand you correctly?

And so he nods, like a depressed seal.

Comrades!

Shall we vote each one out, or vote on the entire list?

Vote on the list. Let�s not drag this out any longer.

Khvostov, go away!

You make too much noise, go away from here!

Aleksandr Grigorievich! We must put up a fight!

Useless. The overwhelming majority is those who weren�t excluded.

And each of them will vote against us.

No, it cannot be each!

And thus, we will vote on the whole list.

Wait!

Don�t raise your hands! You won�t wash off from this your whole lifetime.

Why are you so worried? Maybe the assembly will vote against it.

Our co-op always agrees with the board.

Disagreeing with the board is like spitting against the wind.

I beg you! Take pity on Guskov!

Every night someone steals something from our car when it�s parked outside.

-Comrades, who votes yes? -Start voting!

I�m against! First let�s vote those who are against!

Why are you showing two hands, my sweet woman!

I�d also raise my both legs if I could!

Guskov�s wife! Your behavior is immoral.

I�ll leave only if escorted out with a convoy!

I understand that this is a very regrettable procedure.

But let�s have the vote.

You�re not managing this very smoothly !

Shameful! Yes, shameful! But we must vote!

Vote! Of course, vote!

With your permission, I need to get something cleared up.

There�s some Miloserdov in the shareholder list.

But we never accepted him into our assembly!

How dare you refer to comrade Miloserdov...

... as �some�!

I�m giving our respected board a referral.

The board did indeed accept into the co-op

...the son of comrade Miloserdov.

We have no doubt that there will be no objections...

...regarding that decision.

How can this be happening?

The boss�s son gets put in through some connections!

Go away!

While I, an employee of this institute, get the boot!

If I may. We are all like family here.

Let�s speak very frankly.

We accepted Miloserdev�s son into the co-op,

... and the construction of the garage started to move along rather quickly.

Try to remember, how many years we dilly-dallied!

Now you talk, as if this garage is a shady business.

But my credo is to go the legal route!

Going the legal route is dandy, only it�s rather difficult.

Maybe you�ll disclosed the son of our philanthropist to us?

Comrade Miloserdov Jr, do you mind showing yourself?

No, I do not!

Such a cutie!

Where did you get that jacket?

In Singapour!

Rather far.

May I sit down again?

Thanks for your attention.

It�s not my fault that I am his son.

One does not choose one�s parents, but I am satisfied with mine.

-And what�s your name? -Marina, only�

...do not say your name, I beg you

To me, you will remain �the son of Miloserdov�.

In that is the romance of our times.

I request your vote! One, two...

Khvostov, go away! You already spoke out!

Don�t meddle here!

What a disgrace...

Get off the presiding table immediately!

He won�t get off! He�s there as a symbol of protest!

Comrades! My poultry is leaking!

Fine! Let him lie there if he likes it that way

Let�s vote, comrades!

I won�t allow this vote!

I am a simple person, but my money is the same!

Get away from here, your trumpet! Get!

I am not a trumpet! I am a trombone! Got it?

I sold my house for this! That plot had 12 apple trees!

Each one bore fruit!

I sacrificed all those Saturdays for urban renewal!

I�ll show you! You don�t know me at all!

Silence! Enough!

ATTENTION!

One tears up papers, another lounges on the table,

...the third narrates about his apple trees!

All candidatures for expulsion have been confirmed.

What you�re doing is usurpation!

Only the assembly can decide who does not belong!

Enough chatter! Are we gonna stick around here till morning?

This is all so indecent! Why do you keep silent?

Like they�ll ever listen to you!

Dad already took enough stands in his life!

He took a lot of beating for it!

What�s been, has been.

Don�t start a fight here. We�re already covered in blood.

I�m not!

Don�t I have the right to learn�

...who in our garage does not work in our institute?

My golden man! Whatever goes on, that right you do have.

Then disclose it.

Be so kind, lift up your belly,

...I�ll take that list.

Oh get on with it.

You know that list by heart.

Fine.

��Fauna� cooperative, under the umbrella of our institute:

First we didn�t have enough applications.

You know, people always take their sweet time.

So we decided to accept a few people,

who don�t work here, but live not too far.

We have a wonderful brave corporal,

... here he is.

We have an important diplomat.

Me! I�m his proxy! I�m his relative!

And an award-winning artist- trombone player. He is in front of you.

We accepted them all during a general assembly

...and cannot exclude them on the basis of their not working

... in our institute.

These people took the most active part.

Some strange memory you have.

You forgot to mention the generous marketplace director.

What marketplace director?

- We didn�t accept no mark! - Right!

-The horn blower was there! -Trumbone player!

-We had the general! - Corporal!

I remember the diplomat! But no marketplace!

No, he was! If this psycho gets off the table,

...I�ll show you the minutes.

You wrote him into the minutes later on.

Secrets don�t exist in our times!

My dear man! How dare you insinuate�

I dare! I dare! I am not your dear man.

Wrap it up! I want to go home to my bride!

She�s so�! Wearing a white dress!

Right! You�re all in white, while we...

Comrades! This board is full of crooks

The marketplace director bribed all of you!

You will answer for your slander, Guskov�s wife!

And you�ll answer for the bribes, comrade Anikeeva!

Hand over the market director! I�ll chop him up into pieces

Please do! Chop me up into pieces!

Do you know what you�ll pay per kilo? Any idea?

I will tell you.

This part is the calf.

It�s worth no more than $3, good only for a broth.

-Then... -I know it!

You do not, this is the rump!

It goes for $4/k.Good for soup and for main course.

Further up you know, is the buttox.

Everyone always has fondness for the buttox.

So much meat and sop few bones. It�s $ 5-6/k.

Like a shameless hussy.

You think if a person works in sales,

they�re necessarily a thief and take bribes?

What can she steal at the marketplace?

It�s not a government store, after all.

What can I steal? The scales? The white gown?

The market opens at 7am. She gets up at 6.

I get up at 4:30am, and I work like I�m on a chain-gang.

Indeed, she looks like a convict.

For sure. The prison is awaiting her.

She wakes up at the crack of dawn, so that you, Guskov�s wife,

..can buy fresh vegetables, meat and fruits.

I cannot afford buying at marketplace prices!

After all, I�m not a member of the board!

No one gives me bribes!

Shut up, you hysterical woman!

And stop your filthy insinuations!

And don�t wave your hands in my face!

How come you defend her so passionately, huh?

It all looks rather fishy

I have no desire to speak on this topic!

Why is that?

Comrades! I recommend we toss the flee market director!

The board has prepared for this assembly!

It sure did, at the market among the tomatoes.

I could eat a small tomato now.

What does any of this have to do with tomatoes? I don�t get it.

We heard enough of you, lackey of the board.

Yes! I like our board!

I like the governance of our institute, too !

I am against anarchy! I am for order and discipline!

I represent the majority! Everything works because of people like me.

While all you care about is your own self-interest!

Like, as long as I have my own garage...

�and after me, the flood!

Actually, we will not have our own garage!

This inclination toward private gain�

...bears no relation to the common good!

Comrades! Comrades.

I move to re-elect our board!

Right!

Move over! I�ll lie down next to you in protest!

What lunacy!

A bigger storm is coming!

Are you the presiding officer, or just a frozen fish?

Comrades!

Comrades, whoever�s in favor of the board�s proposed list, I ask�

...that you raise your hand!

Stop it! Have you gone nuts or something?

Who�s in favor of the list? I call for a vote!

This is outrageous!

Just see how among those who were not excluded,

...not one decent person can be found.

-What about yourself? -I don�t even have such a pretense.

-Who abstains? -I abstain!

At least one that�s half-decent...

I do not wish to partake in this disgrace.

Well, then, thank God. With this motion, our assembly is now adjourned.

I should have voted against it, too.

I wouldn�t have felt so horrid.

Got scared. Two garages for one family...

Whatever, don�t torment yourself.

Conscience isn�t in fashion these days.

We, intellectuals, are prone to commit some misdeeds�

...and then scorn ourselves over them for a long, long time.

Just a moment, comrades! No no, nothing scary!

Once again we must rob you all.

Please contribute $40 for unforeseen expenses.

May we ask you to stand calmly?

Guskov�s wife, Khvostov! Get off the table!

You are now non-members here!

Only co-op members can lie down here.

Excellent!

The list. Where is the list?

Comrades! They stole all our documents!

This is going overboard! This is grounds for a law-suit!

Return the papers! Your game is up.

Darling! What do you need our documents for?

Oh, he didn�t steal the documents. He swallowed them!

I lay next to him and watch him chewing on them, down to

...the last list.

Did you really eat everything?

Thanks.

As a veterinarian, I promise you, my gluttonous one

...that you�ll have intestinal pains.

Yes, yes he�ll have intestinal pain!

As a protest!

I want some fresh air as soon as possible.

Right! Your mere presence pollutes

...the environment!

How can your husband even stand you?

And you wear your diamonds bought from the money you stole!

Would you just throw this damn fish away!

I want to say a few words. It�s very important.

Please let the person speak!

Have you lost it? Enough of all these speeches!

Comrades! Wait! We acted unjustly!

Do go home! Your child�s been left alone!

Remember , you�re a mother first and foremost!

Don�t try to gag her!

We will give you the floor! We�re all gonna walk out of here�

...and then you can speak for as long as you like!

Wonderful, leave!

I will say what I think anyway!

Tell it to the stuffed animals, they�re ripe for it.

Comrades! Someone locked the door!

Have you gone out of your mind?

It�s a stupid joke! Open up!

This shameless act has most likely been committed by

...one of those expelled.

Right! Right! Out of protest!

We won�t let you out alive!

Why didn�t I see it myself!

Assa!

Excluding you was clearly the right decision!

Khvostov did it. I can feel it, it was him.

Just look at his shifty eyes.

I have a radio recording at 10 am tomorrow!

Khvostov! Open the door this very instance!

My wife is hom e sick! She�s going out of her wits there!

Friends! Let me out! It�s my wedding night!

-So what? -What do you mean, so what?!

Comrades! Let�s break down this door!

That won�t be easy. It�s an old building.

Do you know what you�re saying?

You will break down this door, and who will guard �

...this priceless exhibit?

Our hippo is over 120 years old!

As the institute�s vice-president I forbid you to do it!

My dear former members of the cooperative!

I understand you and even share your feelings.

But stop this usurpation and return the keys!

Listen up, since we are locked in anyway...

Allow me to give a speech!

Give it at your home as much as you like.

Oh please! Come clean, who committed�

�this villainy, oh my silver ones!

Well, I locked it. Me!

Does that make it easier?

The little one�s got strength.

Do you comprehend what you are saying, or not?

I locked the door!

She�s blowing smoke, just relax!

Why did you do it?

You were not excluded, after all�

You, I�m afraid, will never understand that!

The ham already turned green!

Comrades! Let�s forcefully take the keys from her!

Certainly!

What are you going to do, pat down a woman?

Why? I can be the one to do it!

What a character, no shame and no conscience.

Please don�t! Don�t waste your efforts!

I can undress myself Without external assistance.

My only fear is that it will displease those present here.

Now that�s for sure.

Give back the keys, snake!

Comrades, I am not so foolish as to keep

...the keys on my person in such distinguised

...company as yourselves.

I hid them in a reliable place.

I don�t believe her.

We�ll have to search her after all.

Lydia Vladimirovna! Are you out of your mind?

That�s fine� Let them commence this �Jail Shakedown!

What a nightmare!

- Shakedown! - Oh my God!

Comrades, you have no right to act like vigilantes!

We can only do it with assembly�s permission.

Comrades! Who votes in favor of having me searched?

Come on! Don�t chicken out now, comrades!

I�m in favor!

I�m against!

I�ll vote for anything,

...just let me out of here!

He�s got a sick wife at home, and I have a healthy young bride!

You don�t get it, I�ve got a radio recording tomorrow!

If I don�t get enough sleep, I�ll sing with such falsetto...

No other choice.

I always wake up at the crack of dawn at 4:30.

A pat-down search is an unfortunate necessity, comrades.

What sacrifices won�t we make to return folks to their families.

I ask to enter into the minutes that I am protesting!

We will note that you are protesting, but we have nowhere to

...write it down. The minutes were eaten.

Well, comrades! Who will do my pat down?

We�ll have a strip-tease now!

We�ll start with your purse!

Alla Alekseevna! Check her overcoat!

What a pity! We have no photographer on hand!

Comrades! I lack experience in this, I don�t know how!

It only seems hard at the start.

No key here!

Don�t be shy, step right up.

Oh, that tickles!

I won�t allow this!

Did you see? He hit me!

Can�t you see that the only way to

...avoid a fistfight is to

...give me the floor.

What floor? Lord! Where�s the key?

Where�s the key, my lousy one?

Maybe she�s mentally ill, like Khvostov?

That one gulped the paperwork down, and this one swallowed the key?

No, that key is humongous. She would have choked on it.

We must yield to the strongest one! Alright, speak up.

So, you are giving me the floor?

Oh, just let her drivel on about whatever she wants!

By the way, is there a phone here. I really need it.

No, there isn�t.

Why are we afraid of this goose? Let her quack!

Only be brief!

We now commence part two of our multi-part assembly.

Comrade Malaeva has the floor,

...only speak briefly and don�t stretch it out.

First let out only me. My bride is waiting!

I empathize with your impatience, but,

...If I let you out, everyone will rush out too.

Comrade groom! You commited the crudest error.

First you should have finalized your business with the bride,

...and only then attend the assembly.

You made me lose count!

Go!

Comrades! We work at an institute which

...deals with protection of animals.

A human being is also an animal.

It also must be protected!

From who?

Humans must be protected from other humans.

From the greed that�s consuming us all

From the desire to conquer, to acquire more.

Comrades! Our behavior has been very low.

And that�s to put it mildly. We are scoundrels.

Here we go. She started her moral lecture.

Just think, not one person

of those left untouched, and there are 28 of us here,

not one spoke out against the board�s foul character

The board chose for its victims the most defenseless people.

We�re not talking of a life-threatening danger,

nor of freedom!

Nor of our children, nor of work!

This is about a box to keep a hunk of metal in!

That metal costs $6-7K!

Maybe yours does, mine is cheaper.

Let�s live by democratic principles.

And for that we must start everything from scratch.

Yeah. Perfect timing at 1 at night.

Turns out, white crows haven�t become extinct yet

It�s a big rarity in nature, but we have them.

Fortunately � you do.

We must discuss each shareholder separately.

We must vote on each one and see by the full vote counts

...who gets no approval.

My sweet sparrow, my little one,

We�ll need several weeks to do that.

A year, if we must.

When it comes to truth, time is no object.

Quit blowing it, my musical one!

It�s unnerving, how you�re blowing it through the night.

If you�re so principled, then give up your own garage!

If the assembly puts me out, I will not complain.

You have a hungry child at home and look at you...

It�s my kid. If I want to I�ll feed him; if I want to�not!

See, she�s like that in her family too...

So you crossed out Aleksandr Grigorievich.

He just retired and so, you wrote this person off.

But the fact that he slaved in our institute like a donkey for 30 years.

�worked here...�

That he went through the whole world war as a reconnaissance man

Earned 2 medals of Glory.

Has a medal for conquering Berlin.

None of that has any significance?

-Or let�s take Guskov. -Guskov!

Let�s take Guskov!

Pardon me.

The board knew nothing about comrade Yakubov�s military achievements.

Why haven�t you told us any of this?

What does this stuff from the past have to do

...with obtaining a garage?

How can you say that?

This is a terrible error in judgement on our part!

You should have reviewed each person�s file.

Thank you, comrade Malaeva, thank you.

??????????.

Only now I understood how right you were in

...locking the door.

We have commited the gravest political error.

But how do you intend to correct all this?

Certainly, we will restore your name to the list.

Evidently, at the expense of someone else.

I vote YES!

I vote NO!

So what will happen to us?

Whom exactly are you planning to throw out of the list?

Comrades! The board has reached a dead end.

I call for a short break.

We�ll break now, comrades. We go on break!

I don�t understand what is happening here?

This little booger leaped out of nowhere�.

...and now we all have to make adjustments?

Give our garages away to one another? No!

Son of a gun!

We had heard and read plenty about stuff like this...

I am against!

We�re all fighting for a sunny spot here!

For a garage. What is there to hide?

This garage is the sunny spot in the south--Sochi!

Break!

So am I restored or not?

Your car is practically inside the garage now. Count on it.

Well, thanks. Better late than never.

What a life, huh? Everyone basking in their own happiness.

Who is this pewit, who created all this chaos?

???. Junior scientific personnel.

A PhD candidate.

A poisonous �snake specialist.

She learned a lot from them.

Or the snakes from her.

If a woman has such physical features and fights

for truth, she�s clearly not married.

You guessed it!

Did the husband leave her a while ago?

There never was a husband.

How? She�s got a child.

There are kind people in this world...

I don�t like rumors, but used to tell in our institute that�

Oh, how horrible.

Men used to pay women for it, but nowadays...

What a degradation of morals.

Elena Pavlovna, I�m an expert in all things auto.

Any maintenance, any repair.

I know. You�re a great national handyman.

So I�ll do anything for you.

For free, of course.

Thank you.

I�ll turn your shabby little �Moskvich� into a Mercedes!

Thank you, but my speech won�t change anything.

? ??? ??? ???????????.

Oh, why won�t you marry me?

What are you missing out on anyway?

We vacation together.

Go to the theater together. And to the movies.

You want the status of a professor�s wife?

I�m sick of being a lover.

It�s humiliating.

That�s a hypocritical viewpoint.

Call me a hypocrit.

But I am so much older than you...

Let�s not count by how much

-Say, is there an exit that way? -No, there�s a dead end.

I�ll be a totally old man in just a few years.

While you will still be a strong young woman

You�ll start tormenting me for every trifle.

You�re blabbering such nonsense, I won�t even consider it.

I love you.

And want to marry you.

I�m totally stuck on that.

Who�s there?

Let us out! Open up, for God�s sake!

Call comrade Anikeeva here

I�m her husband.

Petr Petrovich, is it you?

Lydia baby, it�s me.

Petr Petrovich, rescue us.

Lydia baby, there�s a crowd of relatives downstairs. They�re all going psycho there.

What�s happening in there?

See, this one brain-damaged woman locked us in here

So we are having a closed, that is� locked-in session.

The guard let me in because he knows me.

???????! ? ??????? ???? ???????? ?????!

?? ?? ??????.

Your guard is an idiot!

Yes, but he is on duty.

Why is everything left up to some security guard?

Would you cut it out.

Tell him that I order him to hand over the key!

Useless, he responds only to the chief of security.

Lydia baby, little Sasha won�t fall asleep.

He demands his grandma.

Make something up. Say that grandma�

...flew away on a magic carpet.

Can you please be quiet!

Think of something! You hear me?

What should I tell all those relatives?

Tell them they can all go home.

After all, this session will eventually come to an end.

I�m about to start yelling!

Don�t yell, sweety. Eventually everything does end.

What a romantic night!

I feel as though you and I are in a jungle.

-Surrounded by wild beasts and savages. -Yes.

Do you hear? An elephant trumpeting!

It�s probably his mating season, just like our groom here.

By the way, you and I could get devoured here.

Any minute.

Let�s at least get to know each other, before our death.

I can tell everything about you.

You have a degree in foreign relations.

You flatter me.

OK, in foreign languages.

Missed again.

Cinematography then...

Your take is too predictable: �Since he�s Miloserdov�s son�

��then it must be something fashionable.�

Are you really a carpenter?

No. Now that�s going too far.

I�m an archaologist. Present times don�t interest me much

I prefer to dig in the past

And you, professor�s daughter. What are you?

Mine is all standard stuff.

All within the norm.

I have a philology degree from Moscow State U.

It�s the �bride major� you know?

My work is in satire.

Russian or foreign?

Russian

-19th century? -No, modern.

Your job is amazing. You are working on something that�

...does not exist.

You know, you�re kinda fun

Let me out of here, you barbarians!

Have some compassion!

Why are you so fussy?

You�re not a little boy!

How many times have you been married already?

It�s my first!

Comrade Malaeva, may I have a minute with you?

Excuse me, comrades!

-Why are you so anxious? -It�s not that.

You see, I�ve been after her for 17 years.

Oh yeah? How old are you now?

Pretty old�

I�m in love with her since 9th grade.

She married twice. I kept waiting.

And now I made it.

You understand? I beg you on my knees.

Stop that, please.

I�ll let you out.

OK, got it. I got it.

Go to the doors and wait there.

And how will you deal with the carburetor?

Magnificently.

Gotcha!

Sorry, wasn�t meant to be!

Give me the key! I mean it!

Comrades! Give me the key!

While I am running around here, she�ll marry another man!

I know her!

We hid the key in another place now!

What? Ouch!

Comrades! It�s late into the night now!

We really want to sleep!

Let�s move our assembly to a different day.

I second that.

Everyone�s tired. Nobody�s head is working now

Let�s sleep on it. I move to�

Lie down and sleep!

What do you mean, sleep?

Sleep where?

Right here, of course.

On the floor, on the table.

And continue in the morning, when we are fresh...

She�s simply mocking us!

I�m gonna hit you with a trombone!

I will...

I will kill you!

Touch her with one finger,

...and I will break all your ribs.

Excuse me. Allow me, please.

You made a mistake. You stand in the wrong place.

I am right where I need to be.

I�ll also stand where I need to be.

Good people! Let us disperse!

We will re-convene

If we open the door now, you will not...

...call for a new assembly.

We won�t give you the keys!

My people, you are all dear to me

... good!

I won�t stand for any blood spilled here!

Off to sleep we go, comrades! Sleep!

Oh I miss my bed and blankies.

We�ll bring the pillow now.

Don�t touch it. It�s the macaque of Sumatransky!

It�s the only copy of it in the entire country!

Good night, kids! Tuck yourselves in!

You�re the presiding officer, have you lost your mind?

You want to commit everyone to collective sleep?

You wish to sleep standing up, like a fighting horse?

I curse the day I bought my car!

I curse the day I joined the co-op.

I curse this damn garage!

I curse this damn assembly!

Comrade! I don�t want to sleep alone, and I won�t!

I�ll throw myself out the window!

Where? It�s too high here. You will die!

Comrades! Comrades!

The board is towing the line of some schitzophrenic woman!

What is this�sleep?!

-Well, sleep! Sleep! -We�ll sleep over here!

Don�t touch the goat!

Fetisov! Leave the argali alone

Hey, diplomat�s relative, where are you dragging the ant-eater?

Put it back! What are you doing?

We have to protect animals, not the other way around!

Jerk! Move away!

Lena, dear come here. I saved a spot here for you

Pervert! Crawled up on me...

I have a wife at home!

All my food�s gone bad.

You�re quite a louse!

What, have you all lost it?

Hey, half-man. Before I got to sleep, sign a paper for me

What paper, oh my fishmarket girl?

Here�s a paper and a pen. Write

-Write what? -Write, I will dictate.

This reference is given to citizen Kushakova, A. A.

...that she spent the night in a zoological museum

...at the assembly of co-operative Fauna.

Address to whom?

My husband. He�s a jealous man.

Witnessed by 29 people.

Witness to what?

Sign and stamp it, pervert!

How�s life with the husband?

Like a festivity to my heart!

She has the stamp.

My loyal one.

Slap the stamp on this.

Since we�re dozing off, can we shut off the lights?

Don�t know where the switch is...

I�m afraid of the dark

Karapuhin, is that you snoring?

You watch yourself there.

What�s your research, grad student?

Your dissertation topic is pseudoscientific.

You�re a typical pseudoscientist.

Studying your silver stork.

While he nests only abroad and visits our land in passing.

This stork in the sky is not even our native bird.

Dear Karapuhin, the silver stork is

an ignorant bird. It doesn�t read newspapers and thus

...has no conceptions of whether it�s our native bird or not.

�Dark Night...I know my dear, you are not yet asleep�

Heaven forbid! Stop that now!

One 7-year old boy wrote a verse:

�Camels have their two big humps Because life�s a road with bumps.�

�Sleep, oh my joy, go to sleep...�

�Lights have gone out in the house��

�Birds are asleep in their trees��

�Fish are asleep in their pond��

�Mice are asleep in the wall��

�Sleep, oh my joy, go to sleep.�

Sleep, oh my joy, go to sleep.

Comrades, I disagree with Malaeva.

How to determine who�s better and who�s worse. By what yardstick?

Everyone paid, and everyone has an equal right.

You know, I offer to draw lots from a hat.

Drawing lots is not our method This is not a game of cards!

And the lots will be drawn by everyone, including board members

Right! Draw lots!

Right! Let the board also draw from it!

Yes, if drawing lots, then everyone�s in!

As I can gather, my half-asleep ones,

...the assembly is continuing spontaneously.

Very well. Let�s resume the debates!

Much respected Pavel Konstantinovich!

You are a distinguished scientist with worldwide renown

Everyone in this institute depends on you, except me.

I�m just a veterenarian

Even if you become an academician

...animals won�t stop falling ill because of that

They have to be treated.

Which is why, my priceless one, I will tell you the whole truth.

You have two garages for one family.

So be it. We will try our luck just like everyone else.

Yes, but the board has an advantage.

My commercial one, the board has discredited itself.

I have deep respect for you as a scientist,

...but your moral image...

As a vice-president of the institute, I got a call from a

...powerful organization.

People were buying potatoes in cardboard packages at a grocery store�

and what did they find there?

Not pine apples, I presume?

Don�t joke, boy. Don�t joke.

They found in them the professor�s business card with

address and credentials.

What is this ridiculous act?

Who sent you to the vegetable farm?

All my colleagues were sent there.

And I found it impossible not to go along with them.

And I am used to honest labor.

And if for my salary of $500, I find myself packaging potatoes,

...then I am responsible for each single potato going into it

Did any complaints about quality arise?

Didn�t seem to.

When you buy a box of candy There�s always a paper there

�Packer #2�

At the vegetable farm, neither I nor other PhDs received

...any packer-numbers there.

And so I was forced to put my

...business card into each package.

I am in awe at your principles.

Today at the assembly you really showed them off:

First, you�re for the board. Then you�re against.

There I thought you were a big-shot scientist

...and you�re a petty profiteer.

Yes, Sidorin, I am after property...

Not sure what sort of a scientist I am,

...but it�s most disappointing that I am such a coward.

It seems, what have I got to fear?

But in my youth I got a lot of beating,

...for things for which later I got awards

...and monetary reward.

But they scared me for the rest of my life.

I am very old now.

It�s time to stop being afraid.

Save your worthless confession, my dear one.

You�re chattering away about it only so as to

...save your second garage.

How dare you speak that way with

...Pavel Konstantinovich?

I dare everything, girl.

Pavel Konstantinovich has a pure, selfless soul!

He could care less about all your garages.

While you all� All of you...

You�re all animalistic philistines!

A sleazy lover is giving us a moral lecture here!

I didn�t think that I had to report to the

...garage cooperative

...about my personal life.

My Natasha

...isn�t my lover, but

...my wife!

Apologize to her, Karapuhin!

This very instance.

Do forgive me, please.

I didn�t know you were his wife.

See the wonders of biology!

Mommy and daughter sat at the same desk in school.

Congrats, mommy!

Got what you wanted. Caught yourself a rich, famous fish.

You are shameless, dear daughter.

-I simply love him. -Love him, oh yeah, you love him.

Everyone loves the rich and famous ones.

Should I stop loving him for that?

Girls, don�t fight.

Sleep, oh my dear, do sleep...

Where are you dear, do sleep...

Here I now sit and I sing...

Sleep, oh my dear, do sleep...

Yes, Karapuhin,

...you are a monster.

Alright, enough.

I don�t even understand, why do you need a garage in Moscow?

Where should it be?

Why, in Siberia of course!

You�re planning to populate your miserable monkeys

...in the Siberian taiga.

What a load of crap? The monkeys will freeze over in that place!

An amateurish point of view!

I do my research into cultivating a special breed of monkeys.

Ones that can endure the frost!

Good God, what strange apparitions do visit us in our sleep?

But what for? Who needs that?

What?!

It holds great significance for our national economy

Is that so?

Enough of your creative diggings.

Monkeys harvest coconuts in India.

And mine will gather pine nuts in the Taiga

...gather them, shell them, and package them in boxes!

And label them, too.

Oh no, we won�t allow the monkeys to do

...any kind of labeling.

But you yourself have give good remarks about

...my work.

It proves my lapse in judgement again.

No, it proves your set of principles!

Comrades! I move to exclude Karapuhin!

Do you now. For what?

He needs his garage somewhere between Omsk and Khabarovsk.

He will drive his cars across the taiga there

and verify that his macaques are fulfilling the quarterly plan.

In that case, you need your garage in a desert, among snakes.

You�ll have an easier time retrieving your poison there.

Why, you Lilliput!

Please turn on the light!

�Hey, apple where do you roll�

Fall in my mouth and never go back!�

What does this mean?

What will you show us?

She�ll show you everything!

We won�t let you show anything!

We�ll show you everything ourselves!

Comrades, it�s already dawn.

It�s time to make some decisionsc.

This imbecile is standing with a sign.

What are you hanging around here for?

Shame on you. Watch how you talk.

- He cannot answer you! - He is �voiceless�!

Sorry, everyone�s become wicked and blabbers on all kinds of stuff.

I must admit, this wasn�t the best night of my life.

I surrender my position and agree to drawing lots.

I do hope you will spare the board.

But how much we�ve done for you people! My God!

Walked from office to office. Begged powerful people.

How many humiliations we�ve endured. How many nerves!

When there was no cement, we took the whole brigade�

...to see �Gizelle� at the Bolshoi.

Luckily, the orchestra directors doggy at that time was sick with

...ringworm.

We even broke the law for you on occasion.

Bribed some with $10 here, with French perfume there

...some�with candy. And all for the common good!

Marina, when this show is over

...let�s have breakfast at my place.

I�ve never been asked out to breakfast before.

Out to supper is more common.

Consider it innovation.

I know I give an impression of a woman,

...with whom one can strike up over supper,

...over dinner, or even over breakfast.

But now you will tell me that you�re not the type?

No, I won�t say that.

But I won�t go for the breakfast either.

I did plenty of breakfasting in my day.

Aren�t you wrapping it up too early?

My last husband ruined my appetite

...for any time of day.

Marina...

I am ready to go on a hunger strike for your sake.

Enough useless chatter. Let�s draw the lots!

Alright, let�s play this lottery.

But first let�s get rid of the people who are �hooked up�.

First, I dare say, from Miloserdov�s son.

Alright, now they gave it to my daddy for nothing.

...and from the marketplace director.

Why, you little feisty progressive. How much did you pay the man

...to create that baby for you?

It was a brave little guy, wasn�t it!

Now you�re really going overboard!

Be so kind as to give me that sign.

Please get out of here!

I would, but it�s locked.

First you gave me a pat-down, and now let�s climb

...into my bed.

I have no husband.

Never was and probably never will be.

And as for my child...

I�ll get another one if I feel like it.

Husbands are expendable nowadays.

For a woman, her children are the main thing.

Do you know how many there are like me?

And I am happy.

And my boy is happy.

And regarding the money I paid, I don�t know�

how your tongue could turn to spew out something like that?!

You wanted to insult me but only insulted yourself.

Comrades! My current research is about

...animal behavior in circumstances of high danger.

And my dear, animals do not

...destroy their own kind.

Oh enough, just lay off.

Don�t fret.

A tiger won�t eat a tiger, and a bear won�t touch a bear,

...and a rabbit does not kill a rabbit.

If a wounded whale cannot

come up for air

..other whales swim under him

...and carry him to the top.

Comrades, can�t you see that we are drowining one another!

Dammit!

I�ve kept silent on and on,

...but really, they bought me out by taking me back in.

I melted.

And I betrayed

...all my comrades in misery.

Just to think what�s become of me!

Would I ever allow this at the front with the Germans?

I feared nothing there.

And here because of a lousy garage...

There�s this overused phrase:

"I wouldn�t cross into enemy lines with this man".

So today, I wouldn�t cross into enemy lines with myself.

�At a boy! Aleksandr Grigor�evich,

I started respecting you again.

Comrades, I concur with the general opinion that

...we must first toss out the �hooked up� people.

But I disagree with the definition.

They are not �hooked up� people. They are useful people.

What is Kushakova? Not just a marketplace director.

Kushakova equals cement and iron gates

Kushakova equals bulldozer.

What is Miloserdov�s son

Should we bother explaining that to you, comrades?

But what is a favor worth, once it�s been done?

Should we expel them?

Then let�s at least declare our official gratitude to these people.

Gee, thanks for that!

I�ll take your gratitude

...to the grave with me.

Fine and good, comrade Anikeeva. You and I will

...settle our score another time.

I have nothing to settle with you.

Really, nothing?

How about when you supposedly lacked the money to

...purchase those �Zhiguli� cars and you �borrowed� from me

...$1500.

What nastiness!

What disgusting and cheap vengeance!

Apparently, not so cheap. Too bad I took no receipt from you.

My God!

Well, what?

Slanderer!

So what then? Bye bye to my money?

Don�t worry, pretty face, you�ll earn it back real soon.

Some values you have in this science cooperative!

Worse than at the flea market, my honest word!

You won�t be laughing at the trial, my sweet one!

Did Anikeeva really take a bribe?

Without any doubt!

Come on, an academician wouldn�t dirty themselves for money.

Good.

So then, Kushakova, Miloserdov�s son...

And third � Smirnov�s daughter,

...one garage for one family is plenty.

What, me?

So I am left without a garage after all!

I did warn you, why did you stick your neck out?

Actually, I am least bothered.

You gifted a car to me, so be consistent then.

I�ll be parking it in your garage.

You�re a newly-wed.

And with your beloved, it�s paradise even without a garage.

Nothing will work out for you, my little one.

I�ll lie down in front of the garage.

You won�t dare ride over your own old man.

Who, this one?! She�ll ride over anybody.

And the fourth is...

Guskov!

How Guskov?

Again Guskov?

Why Guskov?

Well, somebody has to be 4th.

Anikeeva�s motion is good.

Alright, so, two �hooked-up,� the professor�s daughter�

...and, who�s the 4th there?

- Guskov! - Right, Guskov!

He�ll do! Done!

Tolya! What was your geography grade at school today?

Why are your jeans torn up again,

Did you get into a fight?

Have you lost it? I am no Tolya to you

Tolya, don�t be rude to mama!

Lyuba, my dear girl! Again you didn�t finish eating your kasha.

You must eat oatmeal at your age,

...so that your liver grows healthy.

Stop this comedy, Guskov�s wife.

My restless one, stop pranking us.

Guskov, I am asking you for the last time,

Why did you come home after 11pm last night?

Just don�t lie that you had a meeting at work.

We have two children.

Did you start up an affair?

Aren�t you ashamed?

Why won�t you say anything?

Have you nothing to say to me?

My God. She�s gone off the rails.

I know that after taking care of our children

...I am not the cutie that I was before.

But it�s not my fault!

But these are your children!

Our children!

Tolya, when will you finish doing your homework?

A horrific thing.

Look how a person can be driven over the edge.

My reasonable one...

I have no one but you, and you alone.

Never did and never will.

I love you

...only you.

Please, calm yourself.

Please, don�t be stressed out.

All will be well.

Tolya, go do your geography homework.

Tolya, don�t upset your mommy.

-Are you serious. -Or else we�ll give it to you.

Very well. Daddies.

And you, Lyuda, eat your kasha!

Mommy, oatmeal is my favorite kasha.

Guskov, Lyuda�s coat is all worn out,

while all the girls dress so fashionable these days.

Oh God, what happened to me?

I feel so cold.

Thanks.

You�ll be fine.

You�re under protection here.

Want me to play something nice for you?

Go ahead!

Excuse me please.

Excuse me, comrades.

People! Humans!

Put your heads together! It�s morning! The way we�re going,

we will all lose it soon!

He can talk...

Science fiction!

The mute began to talk.

My voice came back after seeing all this nightmare.

Let�s vote on 3 points at once.

First: send all those �hooked-up� to the devil!

I eulogize my garage now.

Second: re-elect the board.

We�re being overthrown, it seems.

And third:

Let�s draw that lot.

We vote on all three together. Who�s in favor?

Right! Good job, groom!

Nothing doing, I am with the majority.

Right. Who�s opposed?

Overwhelming minority.

Let�s cut up 30 papers, and on 2 of them,

...2 unlucky ones, put an �X� .

Alright, but we will do so without you,

...our multi-faced one.

Who will volunteer their hat for it?

Me!

- I will! - Thanks.

* loud door knocking *

Open up! Open up right now!

Oh God! Did something happen to my grandchild?

Wait!

Hold on!

Lydia-baby!

What? What happened?

While you are convening here, our car got stolen.

I thought it was little Sasha. Got a fright!

- Did you call the cops? - I did!

Comrades!

As we now have a person in no possession of a vehicle,

...she cannot be a co-op member,

...comrade Anikeeva is automatically removed.

Just one paper needs to be marked with an �X�.

What beauty! Sold me out, did you?

My unbribable one, to betray in the right time is not to betray,

...but to forsee!

No need to rush! The car can be found!

As soon as it�s found, we will instantly restore

...comrade Anikeeva to our reserve list.

How ugly all this is!

That�s fine. Tomorrow we will chat in another place.

Why are you attacking me?

Law is law. I didn�t write it.

I am marking one paper in everyone�s plain sight.

Now you�ll all witness that this sole, unlucky paper

...will be drawn just by me.

We begine the drawing!

Who�s first?

Let me be first.

I have a good excuse.

Let go. You will regret this yet.

I�ll make sure the freeway goes

...right through ?our land plot.

And we�ll knock down your garages as spoiling urban view.

And buses will cross this spot.

Thank you.

Empty! Empty!

I�m clean.

Right! Truth is always on our side!

I�m scared.

Draw just one paper please! Just one!

Who drew the �X�?

Not me, comrades.

Clean!

Comrades! There�s just one paper left

Still, there�s someone who hasn�t drawn!

Draw your lot.

Pull out the paper, our fortunate one.

Subtitles: Omroot.