All language subtitles for Four Weddings and a Funeral s01e09_Engsh

AINSLEY: Previously on
Four Weddings and a Funeral...

MAYA: Well, my dream's always
been to work for a progressive,

diverse, female candidate,

but given my current situation,
I'm open to anything.

� How could you fire me?

� You just walked out
of a presentation
to accept another job.

� Oh, God,
what am I gonna tell my dad?

DUFFY: So Ainsley likes Bryce?
GEMMA: Oh, absolutely.

� So then what's the problem?
� She doesn't know it yet.

� I didn't break up with you
because you don't fit
into my world.

� Then why did you
break up with me?

� You're voting yes
on an immigration bill,

and I'm one of the people
you're voting to keep out.

� I'm pregnant.

[both laughing]

� What are you doing here?

� This might be
completely crazy,

but I want to be with you.

� That sucked.

� Why would you and Ainsley say
that Maya had a thing for me?

� I honestly thought she did.

� She just told me she doesn't,
and then she hung up on me

because she's at a wedding
with another guy.

� What wedding?

� What made you change
your mind?

� What we have is worth risking
everything for.

I'm gonna tell Ainsley...

the truth.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[both groaning softly]

Hi.
� Hi.

How'd you sleep?

� Really bad.

This annoying man kept
waking me up and kissing me.

� Oh, no.
That sounds terrible.

� [Maya chuckles]

♪ ♪

� So we're
really doing this, huh?

� Yeah.
We're really doing this.

♪ ♪

� What?

� I mean,
it just feels real now.

As soon as I leave this room,

I'm gonna have to go home and
have a horrible conversation.

� I want to tell you something,

but I don't know if I should.

� I think I know what it is...

because I wanted to say the
same thing to you last night.

� But I shouldn't, right?
It's too soon.

� Way too soon.
� It's three words.

� [chuckles]
Don't.

� My foot's asleep.

� My foot's asleep, too.

♪ ♪

� Um, so this has been lovely,

but, um, I really do
have to go.

� You know, I was thinking,

our last night together went
so well that what if we had

another last night
together tonight

and then see how that goes
and then pencil another one in

for the weekend?

� Do you really want
to talk about this again?

� Only until you
change your mind.

� My mind is made up.

A gorgeous undocumented
immigrant

cannot date an MP
who's voting to deport him.

� I am not voting
to deport you.

This bill isn't going to pass.

My little yes
is purely political.

� Not to me.

Whether it passes or not, it��

your vote means something.

How am I gonna explain this
to my family?

To myself?

� Then you leave me no choice.

I'll vote no.

� What?

� I don't want to do something
that could hurt you,

not even hypothetically,

because I��

I've grown quite
fond of you.

[tender music]

� That is the most romantic
thing you've ever said to me.

� I'm not saying it's going
to be easy for us,

but I'm willing to try
if you are.

♪ ♪

� Okay.

♪ ♪

ANDREW:
Now, to be clear,

this doesn't affect
my other political opinions.

Climate change is still a hoax.
� Ugh.

[lighthearted music]

� Now, I know it's too soon
to tell,

but I've just got this funny
feeling it's a girl.

Is everything okay?

� I just have something I need
to tell you.

� You don't believe
in vaccinations?

Me neither.

� No.

I'm pretty sure Maya
and Kash are hooking up.

� What?
Really?

I didn't think Maya was capable
of doing something
so interesting.

� What do you think
I should do?

Should I tell Ainsley
or confront them?

� I don't think
you should do anything.

� What?

I thought you were
NoSecrets.

� Yeah, between me and you.

But Ainsley just forgave you.

Do you really want to be
the one to break her heart?

� No, I don't.

But I love when the right
thing to do is also
the easy thing to do.

Hmm.

� Come on.

[giggles]
� [groans]

� ♪ You've got a sweet
little place in my heart ♪

♪ Like a sweet little rain
takes care of the flowers ♪

♪ And that's love ♪

♪ A good kind of love,
good kind of love ♪

[door closes]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

� Hey, we need to talk.

I��

Oh, you're all here.

� Hey, are you okay?

Marcus said you went home
sick last night.

I�I didn't want to wake you.

� Oh, I'm fine.
Are you okay? What's wrong?

� Bryce overheard Ainsley
insulting him last night,

and then she went over
to his house to try and fix it

and continued insulting him.

� I just said we were an
unlikely pair.

Why should a 55�year�old man

just assume he gets to be
with a young woman?

What are we, living in
a Clint Eastwood movie?

� Now, I say this with love,

but you sound like a shallow,
miserable monster.

� I am just stating facts.
I'm a catch.

I could go on Bumble right now,

and there would be
a million age�appropriate,

eligible bachelors who would be
psyched to be with me.

Okay, here's one. He's tall.
He went to a good school.

Ah, it's Duffy!

� You're on Bumble?
� Yeah, I'm on them all.

Bumble, Hinge,
this one for vets��

the animal doctor,
not the soldiers.

[whispering]
I am on one for the soldiers.

� But I thought
you liked Bryce.

� I do.

And there are a bunch of stupid
reasons why I wish I didn't,

but he's smart
and genuine and��

He's different from anyone
I've been with.

And also, you��

you're different
when you're with him.

You're less uptight,
less clenched,

less, you know...

� Like Gemma.
� Exactly.

MAYA: I mean, you showed up
to a wedding

wearing paint�covered overalls
because of him.

� Yeah.

He makes me feel like...

Like I don't have
to try so hard,

like I could peel and eat
shrimp in front of him,

and he would still
look at me the same way.

� That sounds like love.

� Yeah.

Probably.

I probably love him.

I have to fix this.

Um, was there something you
wanted to talk to me about?

� [stammers] No, it can wait.
AINSLEY: Okay.

♪ ♪

� Did you sleep
in your clothes,

or do you just wear
the same thing every day?

� [sighs]

[sports announcer speaking
indistinctly on TV]

� So what are we watching?
� Nothing anymore.

� Look, Dad, I'm really sorry.

� Asif, if you need me,
I'll be on my NordicTrack.

� Okay, Dad.

� Come on, Dad,
you can't ignore me forever.

You don't even know how
to use the NordicTrack.

HAROON: Yes, I do.
I watched the commercial again.

� At least him hating you
is getting him to exercise.

DUFFY: What word's funny
that we could look up?

GEMMA: Ah, Duffy,
I have that permission slip

for the field trip
to see Julius Caesar.

Wait, listen.

There's no creak.
This drawer always had a creak.

� Yeah, uh, I fixed it.

You were always complaining
about it,

so I just put some WD�40 on it

� Oh.
That's very nice of you.

So what should we do
for dinner tonight, boys��

Thai food and a movie?
GILES: Yes.

We never finished Coco

because Mr. Duffy
was crying so much.

� No.
No, I wasn't. I was��

You know, just when the little
skeleton sings...

[voice breaking]
Remember Me.

I would love to,
but I have plans.

� Plans?
What plans?

[gasps] Is it a hot date with
one of your Bumble conquests?

� Uh, actually, yeah.

� Oh.

Well, good.

Good and well.

� Yeah, her name's Amanda,

and she seems pretty cool
from her pictures.

Uh, I guess she likes
margaritas and the beach.

� Right, well, let's get you
back to Peath, then, shall we?

We wouldn't want to keep Amanda
from her margaritas.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

BRYCE:
Hello. Is somebody here?

Ainsley?

� Bryce, hey.
What do you think?

� [chuckles]

� Oh, I�I��
� Um...

� I'm sorry. I�I didn't realize
you had company.

Um, hi.

� Hi.
� Hi, I'm Ainsley.

� Ainsley, this is Dawn.
Dawn, Ainsley.

She's, um...

� Oh, I'm just��
I'm just the decorator.

� Yeah. My decorator.

� I realized, um, there
was a part of your home

that I hadn't finished,

and, um,
since I still had a key,

I kind of broke in.

I really wanted this place
to be perfect...

because you deserve it...

because you're great.

I'm sorry I didn't realize
that sooner.

♪ ♪

As your decorator.

♪ ♪

� Thank you.

Now I'll actually spend
more time out here,

at least on five days a year
when it's not raining.

[scattered laughter]

Right?

� Okay, so, um, enjoy the wine,

and, uh, there's a couple
steaks on the grill.

They're probably ready

to be turned.
� Oh.

AINSLEY: So...

[stammering]
Thank you so much.

♪ ♪

� [laughing]
Wow, what a great decorator.

[door opens]
Can I get her number?

[door closes]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[cell phone bloops]

� Marcus, I'm gonna
say this once and once only.

I am not attracted to you.

I would sooner sleep with
our old gay boss

than with you.

Am I making myself clear?
ANDREW: Crystal.

I'll keep that in mind in case
it doesn't work out

with me and every man
on the planet.

MARCUS:
Good morning, sir.

I, uh, fact�checked your speech

in support
of the hard borders bill.

� Thank you, but I won't
be needing that.

� Wait, why?

Are you changing your vote?
� Of course he isn't.

If he voted against
his own party,

it would completely scupper
his bridge restoration project.

� Who cares about bridges?

This bill affects thousands
of innocent people.

MARCUS:
Oh, so you're willing

to prioritize immigrants
you've never met

over bridges you drive over
every day?

Wow. Just wow.
[snorts]

� No, she's right.
I'm voting no.

� Sorry, you're��
[clears throat]
You're voting no?

� That's correct.
� Brave of you.

I�I commend you, sir.

� Oh, my God.
I actually changed your mind.

[gasps]
I am making a difference.

� No, no, stop taking this
as a personal victory.

I have it on good authority

that a few rebels
from the Scottish delegation

are also withdrawing
their support,

so my vote won't matter anyway.

The bill is dead.

� So, just for clarity,

we are now against bridges?

DOCTOR: Here are your
sonogram pictures.

Oh, and I'm required by law

to give you this pamphlet
about pregnancy.

But I'm sure it isn't anything
you don't already know.

Do you have any questions?
� Yeah, I do, actually.

When do babies usually
start talking?

Because I'm sure
I heard something.

� You know what?

Why don't you have
a read of the pamphlet?

So this is the first one
for the both of you?

� Yeah.
� Well, I actually have��

Oh.

� Craig has a daughter.

Sorry.

� No, it's okay.

[clears throat]

[serious music]

♪ ♪

� I know you're thinking
about Molly.

You know, you've got
a perfect excuse to reach out.

Your daughter's gonna be
a big sister.

� I can't.
I promised Julia I'd stay away.

God, I'm such a moron.

� That's okay. I am, too.

� No, I shouldn't have
signed those papers.

I thought it was the right
thing at the time, but��

� You miss her.
I know.

I see you stalking
her soccer coach's Insta page.

� You know about that?
� Mm�hmm.

� His name's FootballDadDan.

He's always posting videos
of his son,

who stinks at soccer,
by the way.

But sometimes you can catch
Molly in the background.

Look, right there.

[upbeat music]

[cell phone vibrating]

� Hello?

� Hi, this is Jody
from HFR Recruitment.

We spoke a few months ago.

Are you still looking
for a job?

� Uh, yeah, sorry.
Uh, can you hang on?

Sorry, hi.

Uh, I sort of stopped looking
for a new job.

Back when I called you,
I was really unhappy at work,

but now I'm just, like,
mildly disappointed.

What was the position?

� A nonprofit that backs female
candidates of color

is looking for a director.

� Jody, that sounds like
my dream job.

What are you gonna say next?
Idris Elba is my boss?

� No, he's an actor.

It's unlikely he would be
employed in this field.

Are you interested?

� Yes. Yeah.
Definitely interested.

� Great.
Can you interview tomorrow

at 8:00 a.m.
Eastern Standard Time?

The job is in New York.

� Wait, New York?
[door opens]

ANDREW: What are you doing
in my office?

If you've eaten one
of my strawberry sweeties,

I will know.

� [softly]
Sorry, just on the phone.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

� Oh, my God.
� Hi.

I don't really need a lawyer.

I lied to your secretary
because I needed to see you.

� So you didn't break your neck
falling off a booze cruise?

� I did, but many years ago.
[Velcro ripping]

I'm Zara.
JULIA: I know who you are.

The last time we met,

you spat at me
and called me a home�wrecker.

� That was not my best,

but I've changed,
and so has Craig.

We're married now.
� Yes, I know.

Saw your wedding on TV.

� And we're expecting
our first baby.

� Oh, congratulations.

� The thing is
this should be

the happiest moment
of our lives...

[whispering] But Craig can't
stop thinking about Molly.

[normal voice] Molly,
your child, not the drug.

� Yes, I know.

And I can't say I haven't
thought about contacting Craig.

Molly started asking questions
about her father,

but I'm just...

I'm not ready.
ZARA: I get it.

But why can't you say
Craig's an uncle

or a friend from church?

My mom brought home
loads of them.

� No, I'm sorry.
I just��

� Please, just let him come
to one football match.

They don't even need to meet.

[sighs] He just wants to be a
part of her life

even in the smallest way.

Also, I would love
for my daughter

to have a sister.

You know, without my body
having to be fat again.

� Fine.

One game, that's it,
and he is silent��invisible.

� [chuckling]

� Too much.

� Sorry.
No touching.

� That job sounds
perfect for you.

� [scoffs]
Except it's in New York.

� Yeah, well,
you're from there.

You're always talking
about how much you love it.

How it has better sandwiches,

better tap water,
and better rude cab drivers.

� Yeah,
but it doesn't have you.

� No, but maybe
I could move there.

� Really?
Are you serious?

� Why not?

You can do your dream job,
and I can be on Broadway.

I mean, selling hot cashews
on the street,

but still technically
on Broadway.

� Maybe it's not such
a crazy idea.

I mean, if tonight with Ainsley

goes as badly as I think
it's going to,

giving her some space
might be a good thing.

� Wait, so are we moving
to America?

Should I read the Wikipedia
article about baseball?

� Slow down. I don't even know
if I'll get the job.

� You'll get it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

� Are you boys all finished?
� Mortui sumus.

That means "we're done"
in Latin.

� No, it doesn't.

I'm so sorry. You don't have
to pay me for today.

� Nonsense. I accidentally
ordered these Garfield checks,

and you're the only person
I feel comfortable
using them with.

� Hey, um, can I ask you
a question?

� Mm.

DUFFY:
What are you doing Tuesday?

One of the parent chaperones

for, uh, Julius Caesar
dropped out.

Um, do you want to go?

I mean, you could sit
next to me.

It could be fun.

� Okay. Yes.
[chuckles]

It's a date.

� Oh, yeah, yeah.

� Well, not like a date.

Not like Amanda.
� Oh, right, yeah.

� How'd that go, by the way?
� Uh, pretty good, yeah.

Um, actually, we're gonna see
each other tonight, so...

� Oh. Already?
� Yeah.

GILES: Last night
went very well.

Mr. Duffy found out that he
and Amanda

both like movies and music.

� Well, what are the chances?

Thank heavens you two
found each other.

Right, shall we get you
back to Peath?

� Um, do you mind just dropping
me off at the restaurant?

Amanda found this funky
farm�to�table��

� I'm not your chauffer.

I can't just drive you
around everywhere.

I don't work for you.

You work for me.

� I'm sorry,
is this about the date?

Like, do you not want me to go?

� No.

How could you eve��
Do you know what?

On second thought, maybe you
shouldn't work for me.

� What?

� I don't think you should
tutor Giles anymore.

I can find another Latin tutor
who I don't need to drive

all over God's creation
every night.

[dramatic music]

� Okay, yeah, um...

if that's what you want.
� It is.

� Okay.

♪ ♪

[video game beeping]

[door closes]

♪ ♪

� Hey.
� Hey.

So how do you feel about
helping me do my homework?

By which I mean,
doing my homework for me?

� No. But I do want
to ask you something.

I was just talking to Maya.

She's up for a job in New York.
� That sucks.

Well, better to have loved
and lost, right?

� Well, if she gets it,

I was thinking maybe
I would go with her.

What do you think?

You could finally get
your room back.

� You're just gonna move
to a different country?

� Well, yeah, but it's only
a plane ride away.

And I'd come visit
all the time.

I thought you hated
having me here.

� Dad's right.
You only care about yourself.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

� Hey.
� Hey.

I'm glad you're home.
Do you have time to talk?

� Uh, yeah.
What's up?

� You know what? Maybe I should
get us some wine first.

� Oh, no, no,
I�I don't have that long.

I have to leave soon.
I'm going on a date.

� A date?
Uh, with Bryce?

� Oh.

No, I'm probably never
gonna see Bryce again.

� Oh, uh...

what happened?

� Well, I went to his house
last night to apologize,

and he was on a date

with a beautiful
age�appropriate woman,

so that sucked.

� Oh, Ains, I'm so sorry.

� Yeah, it's okay.

Bryce has move on,
and so have I.

I found a guy on Bumble
who's handsome enough

and owns a boat.

Apparently I'm shallow,
so maybe that's what I deserve.

� No, stop it.
You deserve real love.

You deserve to be with Bryce.

� Well, that's very romantic,
but we're adults,

and sometimes you don't get
to be with the person
you want to be with.

It doesn't matter how much
you love them.

� Right.
� Shit.

Now I'm late for my date,

and my relationship
with this guy

is gonna be founded on a lie
about traffic.

Oh, my God,
you didn't say your thing.

I'm sorry.
Can you say it in five words?

� You��you know what?
I'll tell you later.

� Okay.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

[jazz music playing]

CHARLIE: Again, I'm��I'm sorry
about the whole valet thing.

It's so embarrassing.

� No, it's okay.
Don't worry about it.

� No, it's as if he's never
parked a Bugatti before.

Now, if he'd handled my boat
in that manner,

you'd be helping me
bury the body.

[both laughing]
No, I'm only kidding.

I only kill animals.
[laughing]

� So, um...
so tell me about yourself.

Do you��
do you have any hobbies?

� What, outside of banking?
� Yeah.

� Well, uh, I'm in
a fantasy banking league.

Is sex a hobby?

Ah, finally.
A waiter.

Um, I'm ready to order
for the both of us.

� Bryce, hi.
Hi.

Um, what are you doing here?

� Well, Maya texted me
and told me where to find you.

Look, about that woman
you saw me with��

� Oh, that's okay. I��
� She's my sister.

♪ ♪

� So you weren't on a date?

♪ ♪

Well, this is my brother.

No, um... [groans]

This just
isn't gonna work, so...

� Right.

Well, I thought we had a really
fun rapport, but, okay.

� Go! S�sorry.
� Okay.

� That was��Sorry.

♪ ♪

Bryce, I'm so sorry.
� No, no.

I've heard enough
speeches from you.

My turn.

[chair scraping]

I get it.
Maybe we don't work on paper.

Tell you what��maybe we won't
work in practice either.

But I refuse to let
Ainsley Howard

become a what�if in my life

just 'cause of a couple
of rude comments.

It'd be like
putting a horse down

just 'cause he's got
a burr in his side.

� That's a real hick way
to put it.

Sorry.

That was me
being shallow again.

� Shallow?
I don't think so.

I think you're one
of the deepest people I know.

The way you think

and the way you love the people
in your life��

it's one of my favorite things
about you.

♪ ♪

So did your brother order
an appetizer?

I'm starving.
� [laughs]

He was a nightmare.
� Yeah.

You got to swipe the other way
next time.

� [laughs]

[cell phone chimes]

♪ ♪

� All your references

mentioned
your professionalism.

� Well, I pride myself
on my professionalism.

ANITA:
And the job is yours,
if you want it.

� [sighs] Really?

Wow. Thank you so much.
[toilet flushes]

Uh, thank you for your time.
Uh, good�bye.

[upbeat music]

[knock at door]
� Come.

� Andrew?

There's something I have
to talk to you about.

� You've been offered
a job in America,

and you're going to take it.

� Wait, how��how
did you know that?

Oh, God,
is the office bugged?

� They called me
for a recommendation,

but, yes,
most of the office is bugged.

� You gave me
a good recommendation?

� Yes, well, despite
the, uh, frequent lapses

into baseless sermonizing
and self�help babble,

you're good at your job.

� Thank you.

And I've learned
a lot from you, sir.

You're a good man.

You're doing the right thing
tonight��with the vote.

� Oh, good.
Assurances from a Communist.

� I'm gonna miss you.

And even Marcus.

� He owes you a thank�you.
I was going to fire him.

But now I can't.

[door opens]

CRAIG: Babe, can we just
take off the blindfold?

I know where we are.

I just heard a bus say,
"Hyde Park."

� Stop ruining the surprise.

� [sighs] Okay.

♪ ♪

� Ta�da!

[children chattering happily]

� Baby, we can't be here.

I�I promised Julia I wouldn't
go to Molly's games.

� I talked to her.

She said you can come
this one time.

You've got to keep
a low profile, though.

♪ ♪

� Thanks, Zar.
� [chuckles]

♪ ♪

� Oh, shit!
We're losing already!

[quietly] Oh, shit.
We're losing already.

[clears throat]

♪ ♪

[cell phone ringing]

� Hey, did you tell her?
� No.

She stayed at Bryce's
last night.

But I did get the job.

� Oh, my God. Congratulations.
I knew you would.

� [laughs] I can't wait
to show you New York.

It's just like London
but with bagels,

and sometimes
you see Matthew Broderick.

� Well, um, I have good news
and bad news.

The good news is

I'm gonna take you somewhere
awesome to celebrate tonight.

The bad news is...

I don't think I can come
to New York with you.

� What?
Why not?

� My brother thinks
I'm abandoning him.

And my dad still
won't talk to me.

I just��I just don't think
I can leave them right now.

I'm really sorry.

� [sighs]

It's okay.
Uh, I understand.

You know, I don't have
to take this job.

� No, no, come on,

you are not putting your career
on hold for a man.

We all watched The Wife
at Basheer's.

� I know.

So...

we'll do
the long�distance thing

until you get your family
stuff sorted out?

� And I'll come visit
as much as I can.

� We'll make it work.

� We'll make it work.

So I'll see you tonight, then.

[soft music]

[distant laughter, shouting]

� Lloyd George knew my father.
Father knew Lloyd George.

[knocking]
CHESTER: We never doubted you.

� Good news, Aldridge��
we have the votes.

Hard borders will pass tonight.
� Hear, hear!

� Uh, I'm sorry, Minister,

but what about
the Scottish rebels?

Angus and Fergus assured me
they were voting no.

� We got lucky.

I was able to pull
the Scottish MPs

by promising them
a James McAvoy meet and greet.

� Oh!
[laughs]

� Now, enjoy this French
champagne, boys.

It's the last thing they'll be
getting across the border

for a long time.
[Rupert laughs]

� Would it be
terribly inconvenient

if I voted no?

� Yes, it would be
inconvenient.

We have a majority of one.

Without your vote,
it won't pass.

� Uh, well, you see,

the problem is
I'm in love with a man��

� What?

� No, that's not
the scandalous part.

I'm in love with a man
who is an immigrant.

He has opened my eyes

and expanded my heart.

I�I can't do something
I know is wrong,

even if there may be...

professional consequences.

� You're worried about
professional consequences?

I mean, of course the party
will put up

a challenger to your seat,

and you'll be out
of politics forever,

but what of the consequences
for our government?

For Britain?

If this bill goes down,
the party goes down with it.

Suddenly the Prime Minister is
facing a vote of no confidence.

The opposition will swing
into power

and bring with them high taxes,
strong unions,

and the abolition
of the monarchy.

Her Majesty is working
at a Payless!

Is that what you want?

� No, not particularly.

� [grumbles]

� Good.

[door closes]

BRULE: And what
is the passive subjunctive?

GILES: Moveo?

BRULE: [mimics buzzing]

� Movet?
� [mimics buzzing]

� I miss Mr. Duffy.

Wait. You're not him

in a Mrs. Doubtfire costume,
are you?

� Giles, don't be rude.

� Motit.
� [mimics buzzing]

GILES: Movamo?
BRULE: [mimics buzzing]

GILES: Mobat?
BRULE: [mimics buzzing]

GILES: Oh, mobutt.
BRULE: [mimics buzzing]

� All right, I believe
we're done for the day.

� I heard that the previous
tutor was fed dinner

and sometimes invited to watch
television with the family.

Can I expect
the same hospitality,

or do you not like women?

� [scoffs]

CRAIG:
Oh! You know, this is crazy.

Why is FootballDadDan
not playing her

when his lame kid
is on the field?

� Good try, Scott.
Very good try.

� That's not a good try.

A good try indicates
that that there was a try.

� Okay, well, Molly
doesn't seem to mind.

� Yeah, because she's
a team player.

You know she gets
her sportsmanship from me.

Oh! Look, he scored
on his own goal!

It's bullshit!

What?
It's bullshit!

I was just saying, uh,
you know,

as��as a stranger who happened
upon this game,

you know, the coach isn't
playing his best players.

� Oy, you.
Shut up.

� I'm sorry.

� Team's doing just fine

without you coaching
from the sidelines.

� Oh, really?
11 straight losses.

That's fine?
� Craig!

� What's your problem?

CRAIG:
You know, my problem is,

is that your best player
is sitting on the bench.

Meanwhile, Scott's over there
picking his nose,

not paying attention.

� That kid's my boy.
� Yeah, I can tell.

� Who do you think you are?

PARENT: Ooh.
� [gasps]

� Who are you?
� I'm nobody.

DAN: Yeah?
� I'm��I'm nobody.

Nobody.
� He's her father.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

� Yeah!

[mouths word]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

� You always went to your mom

whenever you couldn't
talk to me.

� Abu, what are you doing here?

� You know, your mother and I
came to London

to give you a better life.

If you're not happy,

then what was
our sacrifice for?

If your dreams are in New York,
then go to New York.

� But what about Asif?
He needs me here.

� My brother is in Pakistan,
and I see him every day.

This morning he FaceTimed me
from his bathtub.

[laughs]

You and Asif and I
will always be close,

even if you are far away.

� I want you
to be proud of me, Dad.

� I want to be proud
of you, too.

So, if you're going
to be an actor,

you must be the greatest actor
of all time.

Pakistani Keanu Reeves.

� I'll try my best.

♪ ♪

� You promised he'd be low key.

� I know. I was just trying
to defend her.

� Yeah, just like when my mom
punched that man in the face

for looking at me
the wrong way.

Turns out he had a lazy eye.

� I didn't mean
to embarrass you.

� I know. And FootballDadDan's
an asshole.

I'm pretty sure he's cheating
on his wife

with FootballMomJen.

CRAIG: Oh.
ZARA: Oh, my God.

MOLLY: Mommy, did you see
the goal I scored?

JULIA: I did, love.
You were amazing.

Who's the man?
I'm the man.

JULIA: [chuckles]

� Oh, my gosh.
She's exactly like you.

� Who are you?

� I'm��
� This is, uh...

My friend from church, Craig.

� Hello, Mr. Craig.

� Hello.

It's nice to meet you.

You know, on your corner kick,

you can put a little more lift
on the ball.

You want me to show you?
� Yes, please.

� Come on.
[laughs]

All right, now, get ready.
Come on.

Teach you how to do it.

� Can we spend Christmas
together this year?

� Too soon.

� Too soon.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

� Oh, uh, good evening, madam.

Um, is Tony here?

� Antoine!
TONY 2: Hmm?

� A butler from a cartoon
is here to see you.

� Andrew.

What are you doing here?
� Uh, we need to talk.

Um...

The immigration bill
is going to pass tonight.

� But you're
still voting no, no?

� I can't,
but there is a solution.

I know it's only been
a couple of months,

but you have changed me.

You have changed my life.

And I can't imagine it
without you.

� Andrew what are��
what are you saying?

� What I'm saying is...

I love you, Tony.

Will you marry me?

� Say yes, dumbass.
You're not rich.

[scattered giggles]

[soft music]

� Are you planning on marrying
my grandfather, too?

And my cousin or��
or Aunt Lenora?

� I've got a boyfriend.
He's in a band.

� Can you marry every immigrant
in London who's put at risk?

I'm sorry, but...

My answer's no.

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

� Bye, Mummy.
� Bye, darling.

Have fun.

Hi, Duffy.

� Hi, Gemma.

� I just wanted to apologize...

for firing you.

� [chuckles]

� The truth is...

it wasn't because I'm sick
of driving you.

� Oh, it wasn't?

� No.

No, you were a great tutor
for Giles.

Well, if I'm really
being honest, uh...

Driving you back
to Peath is...

It's not such an inconvenience.

Uh, it gives me a chance

to listen to my audiobooks,
which is handy,

since I can't figure out how
to unsubscribe from Audible,

so...

� Right.

Uh, and that��that's it?

� Yeah, that's it.

� Yeah, um...

So I guess I'll just
see you Monday, then.

� Yes, right.

See you on Monday.
� Great.

♪ ♪

MAYA:
Mamma Mia?

� Are you surprised?
� Very.

Oh, thank God
I'm wearing flats.

We're gonna be dancing
in the aisles.

Thank you.

[sighs]
I'm gonna miss you so much.

� I know.

I'm gonna miss you, too...

which is why I think
it would be better
if I just came with you.

� Wait. Are you serious?
What about your dad?

� He changed his mind.
He just wants me to be happy.

� [gasps]
Oh, my God!

Are you coming to New York?
� I'm coming to New York.

[bad New York accent]
I'm a New Yorker.

[normal voice] Was that good?
� Terrible.

[laughs]

[tender music]

♪ ♪

� Duffy?
Duffy!

Duffy, I know you have
to go in there,

but I really need
to tell you something.

� It's the best part
of my day, too.

� No, no, n��
Sorry, what?

� Driving back to Peath with
you is the best part of my day.

And I know I don't, like,
own a country home

or a credit card,

but there is no other person
in the entire world

that I would rather
spend time with than you.

♪ ♪

� I feel the same way.

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

[upbeat music]

� Mr. Aldridge,
is everything okay?

� Uh, yes.
Do you mind if I come in?

I don't feel exactly safe
in this neighborhood.

� We're in Notting Hill.
� Exactly.

Uh, where's Maya?

I have a very difficult
decision to make tonight,

and��and I need her help.

� I actually don't know.

She's supposed to be home
in a couple hours.

Have you tried calling her?
� Several times.

She's ignoring my calls,
which, by the way,

if she hadn't quit,
I would fire her for.

� Wait.
What do you mean she quit?

� She got that job in New York
and quit today.

� Oh, my God.

That's what she's been trying
to tell me.

[dramatic music]

� Can we name her
after my grandma?

� Which one?
Lucy or Dorcus?

♪ ♪

� Hmm. Oh.

[cell phone chimes]

� Oh, God.

[cell phones chiming]

BOTH:
Oh, shit.

� She found out
about Maya and Kash.

� I know what this is about.
� You do?

� Maya and Kash.
I just saw them.

It's why I ran back.

� Wait.
That's why you ran back?

� Oh, and also to tell you

I had feelings for you,
of course.

[knock at door]

� Uh, the division bell
has rung, sir.

Uh, you have eight minutes
to make your way to the vote.

� I know what the division bell
means, Marcus.

I've been voting
since before you were born,

since George Michael
sang about women.

� [scoffs]
Okay.

Oh, and just so you know,
uh, my parents are immigrants.

� Oh, Marcus,
I didn't know.

� Oh, no, they should not
have been let into the country.

Terrible people.

Oh, no, you're doing
the right thing, sir.

� [sighs]

[indistinct chatter]

� He's here. He's here.
CHESTER: Quiet. Follow me.

RUPERT:
Bertie, lovely to see you.

I'll see you later.
Catch you later.

Andrew, thank God
you've changed your mind.

Sorry I had to be such
a nag earlier.

Who am I? My wife?
[laughter]

� Welcome home, mate.

[dramatic music]

� This is not my home.

I can't do this.

� Damn it, Aldridge.
Just find another boyfriend!

� This is not about Tony.

It's about thousands
of other Tony's

who are forced
to live in the shadows.

Real people,
people with hopes and dreams,

who are no less deserving
of dignity

than��than anyone else
in this corridor!

Oh, I know England
is struggling,

but the solution is not simply
in keeping people out.

We are at our best
when we let people in.

People like Mo Salah...

Sigmund Freud....

Rita Ora...

The Duke of Edinburgh.
[members groan]

If you really care
about the future of Britain,

you will not close Her borders,

but instead...

you will open your hearts.

[members jeering]

� See what you've done now?
� I've made my decision.

CHESTER:
See what you've done now?

� Shame on you! Shame on you!
� Who threw that?

NEWSCASTER:
After a contentious vote,

the government
has been defeated

on its flagship
hard borders bill.

A lone conservative rebel,
Andrew Aldridge,

voted against the bill
he once championed.

� Well, if you don't
marry him now, I will.

[laughter]

[soft music]

AINSLEY: Hey, sorry for calling
you all over.

I just��I don't know
what to do.

I'm crushed about Maya.

� She told you?

� Wait.
Did she tell you?

� Uh, not exactly.

I heard from Marcus.

Also, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you sooner.

I just didn't want you
to hear it from me.

� Well, I mean,
obviously I'm shocked.

But I�I just thought maybe
if we were all together

that we could figure out
a way to stop her.

� What is there to stop?
It is on.

� Let the record show

I only found out about this
an hour ago,

and I wanted to tell you
right away.

� Hmm.

� I have to say,
you're taking it very well.

� Well, I mean,
I get why she's doing it.

I just...

[sighs]
Really wish she wasn't.

� Wow.

I would never be that forgiving

if Craig was sleeping
with my ex�fiancée.

� What?

� Wait, what��what are��
what are you talking about?

� [scoffs] Uh, Maya's boss
just came over here

and told me that she got
the job in New York

and she's moving
at the end of the month.

� Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.

� Yeah, that's what
we're talking about, too.

DUFFY: Mm�hmm.
� Mm�hmm.

� [scoffs]

[glass clatters on table]

Is something going on
with Maya and Kash?

♪ ♪

GEMMA:
Yes.

♪ ♪

They're together.

� No.

Th��that's not possible.
[stammers]

♪ ♪

She wouldn't do that.

[door opens]
MAYA: Ains, you here?

[footsteps approaching]

Oh, hi, everyone.

♪ ♪

� Are you dating Kash?

� What?
� Tell me the truth.

Are you sleeping
with my ex�fiancé?

[gasps]
Oh, my God.

� I'm so sorry.

I have been trying
to tell you for the last��

AINSLEY: No, stop!
I can't listen to this.

� [voice breaking] We didn't
mean for this to happen.

� "We"?

� I would never want
to do anything to hurt you.

� No, I said stop!

There's nothing you can say
that can make this okay!

� He's the airport guy!

� What?
What does that even mean?

� He's the guy at the airport
who helped me.

Remember, the day
of your birthday party?

Caramel Ryan Gosling?
That was Kash.

But I had no idea he was
your boyfriend when we met.

� Wait, wait, wait, wait.

So th��this has been going on
for two years?

� No, no.
God, I swear.

� You swear?

How am I supposed
to believe you?

You're a liar!

Oh, my God!

[crying]

I'm going to Gemma's,
and when I come back tomorrow,

I want you out of here.

Take all of your stuff and get
the fuck out of my house.

I never want to see you again!

[crying]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[door closes]

� [crying]

♪ ♪

[sniffles]

[pounding on door]

[doorbell rings]

[crying]

� Maya, what's wrong?
� She knows.

Ainsley found out,
and now she hates me.

God, I knew this
was gonna happen!

� I'm so sorry.
� No, we can't do this.

� Yes, yes, we can.

� I can't be with you.
We're bad people.

We can't start
a relationship like this.

� Don't say that.

Listen to me.

I love you.

[Bishop Briggs' "Holy Water"]

I love you.

♪ ♪

I love you.

♪ ♪

� It doesn't matter.

� Maya.
Maya, wait!

� Please go.

♪ ♪

SINGER:
♪ You looked lost ♪

♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ When you saw me
running to you ♪

♪ It was love ♪

♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ But I guess
that wasn't enough ♪

♪ How do we break
if my heart's still beating? ♪

♪ Love is not fake
when someone's leaving ♪

♪ How do we break
if my heart's still beating? ♪

♪ Love is not fake ♪

♪ In holy water ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wash away the shame ♪

♪ In holy water ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wash away the blame ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wash away the shame ♪

♪ In holy water ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Wash away the blame ♪

♪ I was scheming,
begging, not believing ♪

♪ All the things
you used to say ♪

♪ Scared I'm losing
all my patience ♪

♪ Giving too much away ♪

♪ You look lost ♪

♪ Mm, mm, mm, mm ♪

PERSON:
Go to bed.