All language subtitles for Bebes.Kids.1992.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG.en

( audience cheering )

ROBIN:
I don't talk to no pretty
women when I'm on the road.

Hard to get along with.

You know, pretty women
are hard to get along with.

An ugly woman easy.

You know, they don't want
no trouble, you know.

( audience laughs )
I'm serious.

They doin' their thing,
cook all night for you.

And I have bad luck with
women, y'all don't know.

( scattered cheers )
Oh, man, you don't know.

You meet one with their kids,
they-- You can't even
get none.

Go over girl's house, what,
4 in the morning.

4:00 in the morning,
little kids still up.

AUDIENCE:
BeBe!

Drinking coffee
and taking NoDoz.

( audience laughs )

You start yawning, they
going to look at your ass,

talking about,
"Can't hang, huh?"

We... BeBe's kids.

ROBIN:
We don't die, we...

AUDIENCE:
multiply.

( "Tear It Up"
by Immature playing )

Tear it up, you know
we going to tear it up *

Tear it up, you know
we going to tear it up *

Tear it up, you know
we going to tear it up *

Tear it up, you know
we going to tear it up *

Tear it up, you know
we going to tear it up *

I went to pick her up
the next day,

and here she got
four more kids.

I said, uh--

( audience laughs )

"Who kids are them?"

She said,
"Those are BeBe's kids."

ROBIN:
Those are BeBe's kids.

( "Tear It Up" by Immature
playing )

Tear it up, you know
we're going to tear it up *

Tear it up, you know
we're going to tear it up *

People always
peepin' our sound *

Cause we're 9 years old
and wiser than our years *

We always do
what people don't expect *

But after Marq
we don't regret *

Some guy out there,
some white guy out there

thought they were my--
My kids.

That's what made me mad.

( with white accent ):
"Bro, brother, uh...

"Bro-ham?"

( audience laughs )

"Uh, tell me,
are those your kids?"

( normal voice ):
"No, no way.
Ain't none of them my kids.

"Them BeBe's kids."

( "Tear It Up"
instrumental playing )

( all scream )

( police siren approaching )

( car crashes )

Rip it up, tear it up,
no it doesn't matter what is *

'Cause these kids
are a little bad bunch *

Here they come, like a bomb
hope you're ready though *

Cause the tre from L.A.
ain't no joke *

Marq, the Don
Don't forget Jerome *

Three bad brothers
Got it goin' on, huh *

Here's the flava
nothin' can save ya *

When they're on
their worst behavior *

Ain't nobody
can't nobody fade this *

Immature *

Ain't nobody can't nobody,
ain't nobody *

And I went to turn
the radio on, man,

they tried to take my radio
while I'm listening to it.

ROBIN: Little girl said,
"Put the radio back,

"you know damn well we can't
get rid of no more 8-track.

"Put it back."

( "8 a.m. Blues" by Scott
Shelly playing )

I've been keepin' my cool *

But tonight I'm going
to let my hair down *

And step-out with these
down-home blues *

BARTENDER: You cannot eat
hot links on the bar.

Hey, mister,
that beer has been here

since 12:00
this afternoon.

You either order again
or you got to go. I'm sorry.

I got some money-spending
people coming in here.

I gotta make some room
in here.

All these lowlife deadbeats
ain't never spending--

Hey. If you don't go somewhere
and sit down,

I'm going to knock you down,
you know that?

You about to get
on my last nerve.

( kissing )

Ah!

Hm!

What's wrong,
Robin?

Woman trouble?

( groans )

Get it off
your chest.

I don't want to talk about it
right now.

Come on, man,
you'll feel better.

Come on, boy,
get it off your chest.

I-I don't want to talk about
it right now.

Man, you can't walk around
with problems staying
inside you.

The best thing to do
is let it out.

You'll feel better.

N-not right now. I really
ain't got nothing to say.

All right.

All right.

I knew she was trouble.

I should have known it
when I met her.

It was at a funeral.

Ughhh.

WOMAN ( sobbing ):
Oh, Lord!

MAN:
He going to be all right.
He all right with me.

You love him.

Oh, Walter!

ROBIN:
Everybody was there.

Because everybody was glad
he was dead.

MAN 2:
He was about 4-feet-3.

He wore those
high-heeled shoes all
the time.

MAN 3:
He was about 5-feet-6,

but when that truck hit him,
kinda cut him down
a little bit.

Oh!

ROBIN:
Look at this brick house.

Damn!

She so fine, she make you
wanna get a job.

With benefits!

Mm-mm, mm-mm!

( gagging )

( coughing )

MAN:
Let's play the game, man.

MAN 2:
I'm playing the game, man,
you just looking to hit.

Hit that!
Just drop something down!

I don't know-- In Beverly
Hills, we don't play that.

I'm going to take all your
money, that's what I'll do.

( laughing ):
That boy is crazy,
ain't he crazy?

Look who just walked
in here.

Hey, Robin.
Come over here, man.

You've been working
last week.

Come on,
lose some of that money.

Oh, no. Only way
I'd lose money to y'all,

if I had a hole
in my pocket.

Then sit down and quit trying
to look at everybody's hand.

Shut up, old fat fool.
Look at you.

You know, you so big
you don't know

if you're walking or rolling.

I'm not fat.
I'm pleasantly plump.

I keep telling you that.

Boy, I'm so glad
that damn Walter is dead.

Who ain't? The only reason
his widow is over
there crying,

is because he didn't leave her
no life insurance.

( all laugh )

Don't be shameless,
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to hear that,
because he died owing
me money again.

Shoot, Walter owed
everybody money.

Let me tell y'all
something about Walter.

That Walter was so cheap, he
wouldn't spend
a lovely evening.

( all laugh )

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Ooh, who's that girl
in that black dress?

Good God almighty.
Mm-mmm-mmmm.

ALL:
Which one?

With the braids.
Have mercy.

Oh, her? She was
Walter's secretary.

CARD PLAYER 2: I'll bet
she can't type a stroke.

RUDY: Type?

I don't think
she had to type.

( laughs )

Hey, Rudy. Uh, ain't your
wife a secretary?

Y'all stop
this stuff now,

I'm trying
to win this game.

Uh-oh.
Shh, shh.

Here she comes.

RUDY: Y'all ever notice
that Walter smelled?

CARD PLAYER 1:
I smelled him with--

CARD PLAYER 2:
That new deodorant on him.

RUDY: I think
it's called formaldehyde.

( arguing indistinctly )

You sure look good
in black, baby!

( sighs )

Mm-mmm-mmm-mmmm.

She puts me in the mind
of Players magazine.

Nineteen seventy-three.

Pam Grier issue.

( all hooting )

I'll never forget
that one.

That's the one,
that's the one.

I know
it's hard now.

If you need me,
call me.

Okay?
All right.

Hey, look here y'all,
I gotta go.

Because while I'll be
at work tomorrow,

y'all be in a bed
dreaming about a job.

At least
we be dreaming.

We ain't going to be hauling
nobody else's trash.

That's for sure.

You know, I like funerals.
I'm glad I went to a funeral.

I'll be glad
when I go to yours.

( romantic R&B music
playing )

Uh, excuse me, miss.
I didn't catch your name.

Didn't throw it.

Well, my name
is Robin.

Robin. Hm.

That explains
the red vest.

Huh?
Oh, like the bird.

( whispering ):
That's kinda cute.

A little festive
for this event, though.

Shoot, I don't care nothing
about no Walter.

I could have come to Walter's
funeral in my drawers.

Pretty late for a woman to be
catching the bus all alone.

Do you need a ride?

No, thank you.

I have a car.

Well, mind giving me one,
then?

( "Standing on the Rock"
by Aretha Franklin playing )

Well, that sure was
a nice funeral, wasn't it?

Well, that sure
is a good sign,

you feel comfortable enough
to give me a ride,

even though you don't know
a damn thing about me.

Because I could be crazy,
you know.

I hate doing a favor
for somebody

who make you wanna
take it back.

You know, like when
you give somebody a ride,

and they got a warrant
out on them.

( brakes screech )
Hey, what--? Hey.

Tell a brother
buckle up first.

You trying to tell me
something with that story?

I'm just trying to tell you
a funny story.

Trying to amuse you.

But you're trying to kill me
in this little thing.

( giggles ):
Sorry. You made me nervous.

Well, you ain't
the only one.

( gagging )

( high-pitched voice ):
So, what's your name?

She said she had to pick up
her son at the babysitter.

And I asked
why didn't she just have

her husband
to watch the kids.

After all, a good father
should be wanting to spend

some quality time
with his kids.

When that becomes your
business, I'll ask
your advice.

She said she was divorced.

Once I saw the kid...

( Robin laughs )
Mommy!

...I knew I had it made.

Because you know
I'm good with kids.

Hey,
little buddy,

what did you do tonight,
huh?

Man, I don't even
know you.

Leon.

Sorry.
We watched videos.

Oh, I got a movie you
should watch next time.

It's called Dolemite.
And it's about these pimps--

Now, why... do you think

I'm going to let my son see
one of those killer pimp
movies?

Oh, you must not
have seen Dolemite,

because that movie will teach
you to appreciate poetry.

( clears throat )
( drums playing )

Way down
In the jungle deep

ALL: The badass lion stepped
on The signifying
monkey's feet

Dolemite, my man.

You know,
that's romantic.

ROBIN:
Anyway.

I could tell he was
a nice kid,

but she was sheltering him
a little too much.

But she couldn't help but see
how good we was getting along.

( snoring )

So, um, Dakota Staton's
playing

down at the Regal Room
next Friday.

And I would love for you
to come with me.

But I wouldn't know
what to call you.

Jamika.

Oh, Jamika.

So how does Dakota
at the Regal sound?

And find a babysitter
on a Friday night?

If you want to get better
acquainted with me and my son,

you should take us somewhere
more appropriate,

like, um... uh...

...oh, Fun World.

ROBIN: Fun World?
( gasps )

Yeah.

So I said, "No problem. I'll
pick y'all up Saturday at 10.

No.

( smooching sounds )

( grunts )

Y'all know me, I--

I'm an old-fashioned
type of guy.

I didn't have to get a kiss
that night.

LADY DRUNK:
Yeah, that night.

But wait till
he spends some money.

( "Your Love Keeps Working
on Me"

by Joey Diggs plays on radio )

I don't know
what you're doing here *

When I think I do *

Girl, I'm sad again *

I don't know
what you're doing here *

But I gotta tell you, girl *

Your love be personal to me *

ROBIN:
Look at this cheap thing.

So I goes to pick her
up the next day.

( tires screech )

She got three more kids
with her.

Uh...

W-w-what's this?
What's this?

These are children.

Oh, wait.
You said you had a kid.

These are BeBe's kids.

This is LaShawn.

Oh, critter number one.

( clang )
Ow!

I ought to beat
the...

Oh.

JAMIKA: This is Kahlil.
ROBIN: What's up, little--?

What's up?
Kind of militant.

You a Farra-Chaka Khan?

Come on man, give it up.

Okay. That's Okay.
Oh-- Hey!

Man, you don't know how
to shake?

I said...

That's pitiful.
Old man like you.

Why--
Look at this.

Look like
a broken-down spring.

I ought to slap you with
the two fingers I got left.

I tell you it's nothing-- Oh!

What the--?

And this is little Pee Wee.

Pee Wee, the O.G.

O.G.? I'll slap my F-O-O-T
in your B-U-T.

Oh, my goodness. Those aren't
double-knit pants, are they?

Trying to bring
it back, huh?

( sniffs )

What is this?

So where's BeBe?

She went downtown.

So how come she didn't take
her little tribe with her?

Don't worry about it,

she left $20 to get her kids
into Fun World.

BeBe left $20.

Twenty dollars ain't enough
gas to put in my car.

He don't look too happy
to see us, do he, LaShawn?

She left $20 here,

for me to take
these 80 kids out.

Ain't that a--

Come on, Robin.
The kids can't wait.

I can't either.

This going to be fun.

LASHAWN:
Hey, you wet dog,

look at me when
I'm talking to you.

LEON: I'm not
even bothering you,

why don't you
leave me alone?

Look at me when
I'm trying to talk to you,

I know you're trying
to ignore me.

( laughs )

I don't want to sit
by you anyway.

I don't want to sit
by you, either.

Uhh...

( laughs )

LASHAWN:
Wet dog!

( squeak )

Look at me when
I'm talking to you!

I know you trying
to ignore me!

Hey, look. What's up
with all those...?

Ma!
Don't be a tattletale.

And make us lose the little
respect that we do have
for you.

What's wrong, Leon?

Nothing.

Ow!

Ow, man, why you always
messing with me?

Because she like you.
I do not.

It's just because--
She thinks you cute.

I ain't going with no
little runt like Leon.

She can't wait
for you to grow up.

I had enough
of you.

Hey, break it up
back there!

Hey, don't worry,
honey.

Once we get there,
everything will be just fine.

Just fine.

( car horns honking,
drivers yelling )

( smooth R&B flavored theme
playing )

Come on, Leon. Wake up,
sweetie. We almost here.

Wake up, kids.

Robin, you can slow down
now, we're here.

Robin!

Robin, wake up!

( tires screech )

( yells )

OFFICER: Thank you, ma'am.
You have a fun time, now.

( clears throat ):
Step out of the car.

Now, sir, you came to
quite an abrupt stop.

Carrying any
illegal substances?

Concealed fruits?
Hey! Hey!

Vegetables?

No, I left that
at home with the gun.

Stay right there.

Trying to make me feel
like a king, huh?

Everyone's king
at Fun World, sir.

Mm-hm.

Don't even try it.

( blow raspberries )

POLICE OFFICER:
God, I hate kids.

VOICE OVER P.A.:
Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,
welcome to Fun World.

Thirty-five dollars?

That's for the whole group,
right? Dang...

One, two, three, four, five.
God...

Jamika, give me
that $20 BeBe left.

Say.

Well, look what
we have here.

Are you
starting trouble?

Definitely a troublemaker.

He's a 4-15
in progress.

Man, back off my tip. I was
just getting a drink of water.

Watch that
hostile attitude.

We'll ask
the questions, kid.

What's this
on your hat?

It looks like some sort
of gang insignia.

Look, I ain't in no gang,
now give me back my hat.

I said, give me back my hat!

Ow!

You just remember,

we'll be watching you.

You troublemaker delinquent.

Hundred ninety-seven...

ninety-eight...

ninety-nine...

two hundred!

Don't act like
you don't want it.

What do you say
to Mr. Harris, kids?

F...
Thank you.

Here are your tickets,
programs, maps,

senior-citizen discount cards,
tennis shoes, a basketball,

mugs, decals, bumper stickers,
coupons, napkins,

swizzle sticks, visor,
sweat band and a T-shirt.

Please familiarize and observe
the rules while in Fun World.

No running, no jumping,
no yelling,

no cutting in line,
no grumbling, no stealing.

That means you.

No breaking things and putting
them back like nothing
happened.

No sad faces, bad attitudes,
introspective moments,

irritation at the mindless
happiness of the masses.

And...

no littering.

Is that clear?

Enjoy your stay.

All right now, don't run
around and work up
an appetite.

'Cause I ain't feeding
you little heathens.

And don't touch a damn thing!

( children chatter
indistinctly )

( "I Ain't Havin' It"
by Faizon Love plays )

Found mine.

How come we can't
never find our names?

Yeah, I know four girls
named LaShawn.

How come we don't have
a license plate?

Kahlil?
( whooping )

Who the kind of kids
that never been no where? *

'Cause BeBe taught ya'll
you just don't care *

The case is clear that
you don't know how to act *

But you better learn quick
or I'll take you right back *

I'm not havin' you run around
here like some heathens *

If you thinkin' 'bout growlin'
I'm a think about leavin' *

The day just started
and I'm tired of this *

I'm not your daddy,
and I ain't havin' it *

VOICE OVER P.A.:
Warning. You have activated
a maximum-security system.

Do not panic.

( alarm beeping )

Ahh!

( screaming )

( grunts )

( huffing )

( sounds of bullets
ricocheting )

( indistinct commotion )

You want to start a fight?
I'm ready for war *

I'll pack your rusty butts
back in the car *

Roll up the windows
with no air conditioning *

Blackin' out
from the heat *

And you're all
goin' be wishin' *

That you never, ever,
thought of that *

Actin' the fool
and showin' off *

So when I say stop
ya'll better quit *

I'm not your daddy,
and I ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

( yelling )

( alarm wailing )

Excuse me, sir,

but I have to charge you
for the items

your kids manhandled
in the store.

Oh,
where did Pee Wee go?

I ain't saying jack.

Oh, you ain't going to talk,
huh? Come here you little--!

You don't tell me where
your little brother is,

I'll beat the black
off you.

You going to look lighter
than Michael Jackson.

So where is he?
Where is he?

( glass shatters )

Now, I'm not the one
you want to try *

I'll spank your behind
and make your behind cry *

You'll get no appeals,
bargains or pleas *

Don't care if your sorry,
or begging on your knees *

Not a threat, not a promise,
but a natural fact *

I ain't your daddy,
and I ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

He ain't havin' it *

( roller coaster whirrs,
patrons shriek )

But we was just playing.

Other kids are playing too.

Start up again,
I'm going to drop you

like a bad habit.
You hear that?

CHILDREN: Yeah.

Test-tube baby.

Can we eat?
Man, I'm hungry.

We were too excited
to have breakfast.

Yeah, that's it.

BeBe don't keep
nothing in her fridge.

( growls )

I tell you, Jamika, that BeBe,
she's getting on my nerves.

I ain't even met the child.

Look at these poor children.
Look at them, starving.

They be better off
in Ethiopia.

CHILDREN:
Mama said knock you out *

I'm going to knock you out *

Mama said knock you out *

Hello, Robin.
Long time, no see.

Hi, Dorothea.

I been meaning to call you,
but my phone got shut off.

Funny, I always get your
machine when I call.

Oh, I can get incoming,
but I just can't dial out.

Don't worry. I'm not
going to sweat you

for my alimony check.

I'm just here to have fun.
Just like you.

Oh, Robin.
This is my friend Vivian.

Oh, Lord, not another one.

Damn.

Quite an appetite you
got there.

Oh, yeah, well, you know,
I came with some people.

Well, that was quick.
Was I so...

Dorothea.

I gotta go.
Food's getting cold.

Food ain't the only thing
cold around here.

You know he still
love you.

Hm.

Was she born to torture me?
Look at her.

Can't even wear
high-heel shoes.

Just sliding and sliding
all over the place.

Smoke coming out, look like
a train coming down a aisle.

I remember one time she
went into Lane Bryant.

"I would like to see
something to fit me."

Sales lady looked at her,
said, "Me too."

ROBIN: Seeing that skeezer
made me feel

even better about being
with Jamika.

She's about something.

But what about the kids?

The kids?
You kidding me?

Those kids must have
missed a few meals.

They were eating so fast

I had to spit on my food
to keep them from taking mine.

Sorry about that there.

So then I took them on
the scariest ride in the park.

And that kept them behaved.

( patrons screaming )

( crash )

Yes! Yeah!

( cheers )

No. No. No. No!

( screaming )

( sniffs )

Y'all smell something?

Pee Wee, is that you?

Jamika, this is the last
time I take you...

and these crazy kids...

anywhere!

Slow down, slow down,
slow down.

LASHAWN: Bye, Leon.

ROBIN: Hey, this is--
this is fun, right?

( clacking )

Okay, you can
pull the cord now.

The cord.
Pee Wee!

You mean this cord right here?

( screaming )

LASHAWN:
What's the matter? Can't hang?

( Leon vomits )

( wincing )

PEE WEE: Aw, dang.

I'm just glad it didn't happen
on the roller coaster,

because you would have
got me too.

Thank you, Mr. Harris.
Oh, you welcome, son.

Just lay off them chili dogs.

Come on, boy. Clay, Kyle,
whatever your name is,
you next.

Father faker.

Since the kids started acting
civilized,

we let them
go off on their own.

And me and Jamika took
a little boat trip.

Mama, I want to go with you.

You can't be with us now,
sweetie.

Now, just run along
and play with your friends.

Friends?

Those are not
my friends.

I hate when you
babysit BeBe's kids.

Why couldn't we go
to Fun World alone?

Oh, honey.

Leon, come here.

Now, I know you don't like
BeBe's kids.

I don't like
them kids either.

But you all don't have
to like each other.

But they do have
to respect you.

Now, that's something I can't
make them do, Leon.

You have to do
it for yourself.

How do I get respect?
Easy.

Don't worry about what
they think about you.

Just do what you do best,

and then you'll win respect
on your own terms.

That's it?
Yeah.

Oh, and one other thing.

If you get into a fight,
don't fight fair.

Get a brick and knock
the hell out of them kids.

JAMIKA:
Robin, I heard you.

All right, little man.
Have a good time.

And remember what I said.

Bye, Mama.

Thanks, Mr. Harris.

I don't mean to get
in your business,

but maybe you should sign Leon
up for some karate classes.

That boy kind of soft.

BARKER:
Step right up, young fellow.

Give it a good hit, now.

( crowd laughs )

If that's the best you can do,

you'll have to come back
in a couple years.

Come on now, move along.
Move along.

Who will be next to test their
strength? Step right up.

LASHAWN:
Look who's back. Little Leon.

Welcome back,
weenie.

Oh, yeah, here he is,
the weenie man.

You ready?

I thought you was going to
hang around your mama
leg all day.

At least my mama's here.
Ooh...

Well, your mama ain't
going to be here to catch you

when I knock you out,
so you better watch your mouth

because you're talking
about our mama.

Yeah.
What's up with that, man?

( squeaks )

VOICE OVER P.A.:
Hey, kids! Time for another
Cartoon Cavalcade

at Fun World Playhouse
on Flea Street.

With plenty of free popcorn.

Come on, let's get
a good seat.

Don't try
to change the subject.

So, what up with that? Y'all
going to scrap or give a hug?

Go on, kiss her.

We got them good.

Look at that expression
on her face.

Mack daddy,
Leon.

Oh, yeah,
player of the year.

You got it going on,
baby, like no other.

You guys play too much,
man.

I'm going to get you guys,

you know I don't like
kissing boys.

( screaming )

I'm going to get you two.

No wonder they going
so much faster.

Get some of this food
off the boat.

Well,
I need it to live.

Get that chicken
out your purse.

You really have been sweet
with the kids today, Robin.

Jamika, is BeBe your sister?
No.

Is she your cousin?
Unh-unh.

Is her man
your loan shark?

BeBe is a friend.

Shoot, I would want
somebody to help me

if I had problems
like she does.

They got correctional
facilities for problems like
that, Jamika.

They just need a strong
man in their life.

You got any kids?
Nope.

Ever been married?
Next question.

Do you want kids?

Hell, no!

Especially if they turn out
to be like BeBe's kids.

But you know, you're
really good with them.

Not that I like you
for the kids.

I like you.

Mm-hm.

Sometimes it just don't seem
like the right things

happen to the
right people.

Or the right people
just don't be

at the right place
at the right time.

Yeah, like the white people
on Arsenio's band.

Robin, I mean BeBe.
Hold up, Jamika.

That's enough talk
about BeBe.

I only know one thing.

I'm definitely
in the right place,

at the right time.

Right now.

Just scoot them
baby hips over.

Boy, you crazy.

( "All My Love" by Phil Perry
and Renee Diggs plays )

Oh, the funniest
sensation *

We been here just
like this before *

If this is
any indication *

Of a future,
I want more *

Now I don't have
a lot to give you *

I ain't putting
on no airs *

But if you'll just
let me be with you *

Love has returns
we can share *

Because we got
so much in common *

We could be
two of a kind *

No matter how
the chips may fall *

Like a puzzle
on a table *

Like a hand in glove,
we fit together *

I'm going to give
you all my love *

From the stars up above *

I'm going to give
you all my love *

Just you baby *

It's got to be you *

You know you're all
I'm thinking of *

I'm going to give
you all my love *

Oh, God, the feeling *
Oh, God the feeling, baby *

If you got
the time *

If you got
the time *

For the love revealing *

Concealing nothing *

True happiness we will find *

Going to give you
all my love *

My love, my love *

PEE WEE: Hey, y'all
can't leave me,
the little O.G.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, man, are you out
of your mind?

Hey Kahlil,
over here.

( blows raspberry )

( blows raspberry )

Hey, up here. Down here.

Hey, Pee Wee,
I froze you.

It's too hot
to stay froze.

Oh, I see
a popsicle coming now.

( gasps )

Where are your parents?

Yeah.
Your mommy and daddy.

Where you think
they at?

Over your parents'
house playing pinochle.

Another smart remark and
you'll be ejected from
Fun World.

Understand?

Unsupervised minors are
prohibited from engaging

in unauthorized leisure
activities.

Yeah, no laying around.
Shut up.

I do all the talking.
All right.

We weren't in
anybody's way, okay?

The issue is not obstruction
of walkways.

Oh, so you trying to say
we can't play freeze tag?

Correct. However, we have
a variety of engrossing...

Yeah, real scary.

...exhibits designed
for your age demographic.

Allow me to escort you
to my personal favorite.

Follow him.
Get your hands off me.

Let's go, people.

Safety first.
Strap them in tighter.

Good night, Gracie.
All clear here.

We're on our way
back to headquarters.

Everything is A-okay.

( train whistle blows )

( "Fools and All Their Money"
by Dan Wilson plays )

Thunder turns on
a basic assumption *

Moving, time after time *

Family dysfunction
and compulsive consumption *

Are two sides of
the same dime *

If our hand in your pants
feels like a grand
presumption *

That's where our
fortune is found *

Because fools
and all their money *

Make Fun World go 'round *

Overpriced merchandise
galore *

Leave your wallet with us
at the door *

Don't come out
until you buy some more *

More, more, more, more *

The power of suggestion
cannot be ignored *

So the saying goes *

And the carrot
is mightier than the sword *

When it hangs in front
of your nose *

We hope it's a carrot
that you can afford *

Halt. No one under 17 admitted
without parent or guardian.

( Fun World theme ends,
hip-hop plays )

( cheering )

Just as I suspected.
Just as we suspected.

Get those kids!
Oh, no!

Whoa!

GUARD:
My back!

KAHLIL:
Way to go, Leon.

Yeah, I knew you
had it in you.

I knew you had
a little BeBe in you.

Oops.

( cheering )

All right!

Wow.
Who are you guys?

We BeBe's kids.

BeBe's kids?

Yeah. We don't die,
we multiply.

All right.
Who's he?

He's just a punk.
Man, I ain't no punk.

Oh, so you down, then?
Yeah. For whatever.

Hey, yo.
Can we be BeBe's kids?

No, punk. But you can
hang with us for a while.

Yeah, all right.
That's cool, dude.

What's your name, man?

My name's Winthrop.

Winthrop?

( chuckles ):
No, man, we calling you Opie.

My name's Richie.
Like the comic book Richie?

Damn, you guys
got some corny names.

What's your name?

I'm the jaw breaker,
the candy taker *

And if I skip school
I'm the flufaker *

Original man
in a strange land *

You never saw my butt
on American Bandstand *

The MC's name is Kahlil *

And if you can't spell it
you never will *

Allah the provider
for the flavor you're lacking*

But if you stop my flow
start straight jacking *

Look.

Straight jacking *

Straight, straight
straight jacking *

I'm LaShawn,
no, not Latifah *

Demanding the mike
just like Aretha *

Cute little girl but
I fight like a man *

I even made
Iron Mike Tyson say "Damn!" *

LaShawn, Kahlil and Pee Wee
want R-E-S-P-E-C-T *

Never slipping, or sliding,
no macking or slacking *

BeBe's kids, straight jacking*

We've got an assault
on characters in Section Five.

VOICE:
Order received.

Shorty,
the O.G. with all the clout *

Lip smacking
for what's under the blouse *

Three years old
and still drinking Similac *

You smack me and I'll smack
you back, punk *

So now it's time for me
to straight jack y'all *

And get busy like
Arsenio Hall *

Taking a dump
can be so relaxing *

( groans )
Straight jacking *

Hi, boys and girls,
I'm Rodney Rodent.

And I'm Tommy Toad.
How are you doing today?

It goes three for the treble
and two for the bass *

We're BeBe's kids and we're
wrecking this place *

Now all bad kids
seem to always get spanked *

But try that with us
and you might get ganked *

Release the balloons
and act real funny *

As we ride rides
and Robin spends money *

To my posse
won't be no attacking *

Hey, yo *

We ain't wild *
We're straight jacking *

Yo, they trying
to get away.

Rush them.

TOMMY TOAD: Rodney, come on.
Let's get out of here.

You're on your own, Rodney.

Let go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

CHILDREN: Yay, Rodney!

Yay, Rodney!

( panicked muttering )

Oh, not the feet.
I've only got two of them.

( Toad screams )

Yeah, these'll work.
We can use these
to go swimming.

Look, there they are.

5-0. Run.

Fun World.

Come back here, you little
scum-buckets.

I'm going to get you.

Oh, Robin. It looks like
there's some trouble.

Trouble?
Girl, you from Compton.

That ain't no kind
of trouble.

Maybe, we should find the kids
and make sure they're safe.

Them kids all right, girl.

Shoot. I feel sorry for
trouble if it runs into
them kids.

( cheering )

Hide!

Hey, y'all, wait for me.

( panting )

KID: Look out!
Behind you!

Run.
Look at them. Look at them.

Where's them cops now?
Put that down.

Thank God
they white.

( guards panting )

There they are.

Come on, I think they're still
behind us.

This way, Richie.
Get in.

RIDE ANNOUNCER:
Please, walk to your cars

and secure your seat belts
immediately.

GUARD:
Ever hear of the Alamo?

Get your muskets ready,
Davy Crockett.

How long could
we keep this up?

Until BeBe's kids show up
again, and they'll know
what to do.

Look out,
there's one over there.

Look out behind you.

GUARD 1: Oh, my aching
old back.
GUARD 2: My glasses.

He's going down the court,
just going...

Boy,
you're so crazy.

I ain't lying.
Would you try to stop them?

I'm going to
the ladies' room.

I'll be right back.

Don't get lost,
my little chitlin snaps.

Girl, you been walking slow
all day. What's your problem?

My man Robin
came over last night.

You mean Robin Harris?
Ain't but one.

You see I got bags
under my eyes

big enough to carry
$50 worth of groceries.

How come y'all
didn't stay married?

Oh, he's good to me,
but he's so mean to the kids.

Is he cheap?
Is he?

He turned Muslim last
December so he wouldn't

have to give
Christmas presents.

That's a damn shame.

And he's so quick
to hit somebody.

Then he don't wanna
pay the dental bill.

I don't know what to say.
You shouldn't be with
that man.

I know, I shouldn't.

But, girl, I can't help it,
because I love him.

You love him?
Mm-hm.

Girl, I don't believe
what you just did.

Did we psyche
her out or what?

Did you see her face?

I know! I know! Girl,
I ain't seen nobody that mad

since I saw Robin
in divorce court.

Hey, sweet thing.
Where you been?

Where I been is talking
to some of your friends.

My friends?

And where were you
last night?

You act like you know already.
What's wrong with you?

Don't act like
something's wrong with me.

You the one
with the problem.

Now, how much time we got
until we meet up with
the kids again?

Well, we got just enough
time...

Oh, my God...
Robikins.

Get away.
Get away from here.

Leave.
Please leave.

Guess what?
We got just enough time

to go check out
Futureville.

I bet you it ain't got
no black people in it.

You going to act like
that didn't happen?
What?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey, I
thought you was in a downwind.

I had a couple of burritos,
and you know...

Robin, don't try
to change the subject.

I knew she wasn't
going to leave me alone.

So I'm trying to figure out
what's worse,

telling a pretty lie
or the ugly truth.

Beauty's only skin deep.

Yeah, but ugly
is to the bone.

MAN: Amen, brother.

ROBIN:
I hate it when a woman says:

Just tell me the truth.
I won't get upset.

Because she's lying. And she
don't wanna hear the truth.

If you tell her the truth
she's going to get mad.

So I told her:

That's my landlady.
The old snaggletoothed heifer.

Spending all my rent
money on that cotton candy

when she knows she needs
to be fixing my refrigerator.

( chair squeaks )

Wait, wait. Jamika,
come on, now.

Jamika!

( park powers down )

Hey. Yo, you always
trying to leave
the little O.G.

Hey, man, yo.

Come back here
with my brother.

ROBOT:
Humans are not allowed here.

Give him back, and we'll
leave. Give my little
brother back.

You better not be rolling
nowhere with my brother, man.

He attacked one of our models.
He will be punished.

He must not know
who he's messing with.

Hey, tin man, haven't you
heard of BeBe's--

( growls )

( screams )

( gasps )

( sniffs )

Run, Pee Wee, he's got
the scent of your diaper.

What's going on here?

Shoo. Move along. Get.

Hey, you there.
What do you want?

You're in America,
son.

That's not the way
we do things around here.

Every man has a right
to a fair trial.

Word.

So how about it?
Give a brother a fair shot.

If my robotic brethren agree,
a trial will commence.

Hear ye, hear ye.

The robots versus
Kahlil Wooten.
The charge is assault.

The prosecution
may present their case.

You know, it's been
a long time

since I've been
in a courtroom as a lawyer,

but the evidence of this
heinous crime is
so irrefutable.

Exhibit one, please.

ROBOT NIXON:
Now this is videotape

from one of
the security cameras

in the Fun World exhibit.

Oh, man, cold busted.

I told you that
stupid bad attitude

would get you
in trouble, Kahlil.

Do me a favor man, Leon,
before they fry me, drop dead.

Any of you who knows
the importance

of law and order
will vote guilty.

( cheering )

For the defense,
Abraham Lincoln.

Don't slip up, Abe.

Pass the mashed potatoes,
dear, will you?

Is this a pork gravy, dear?
Or is this...?

ROBIN: Here it comes.
I'm just waiting for her
to ask me.

Robin, who was that, really?

You mean the one over there
with the orange perm

and the spandex.

That's Dorothea.
That's my ex-wife.

Lips so big,
ChapStick had to make a spray.

I know I should have told you
in the first place,

but I'm embarrassed
by that girl.

I guess that's why you
only see her at night, huh?

At night? I'm trying not to
see her for the rest
of my life!

That's not what I heard.
Shh.

Sprung a leak, cuz?

What you mean, "heard"?

Did she talk
to you or something?

Uh-huh.

Well, we going to settle
this now. Right now!

Each of you must ask yourself:

Are we petty, vengeful humans

or logical, moral machines?

Then pass judgment.

Your Honor, the defense rests.

What say you all?

ROBOTS:
Death. Death. Death.

( dark hip-hop beat plays )

Wait a minute.
Listen up.

Oh, no, don't help me, Leon.

All they were going
to do before was kill me.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the court *

You're about to witness
a brand-new sport *

Where you're on the offense
and I'm on the defense *

So let's see if we can
make some sense *

Kahlil is a rebel
without a pause *

He's a victim
of your unjust laws *

Fun World
is no real fun for him *

It seems so whack,
so bland, so grim *

Freedom is a concept
designed for every race *

Follow it and Kahlil
might own this place *

He'd change the name
and change the feel *

Imagine "Def World"
with your host Kahlil *

Where Carter sells peanuts
and Nixon fresh lemonade *

And even old Abe
will sport a hightop fade *

Remember every great leader
broke the rules *

Made up by fools give Kahlil
the tools he needs *

Freedom, freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Who are y'all to tell me
I ain't civilized *

Don't give us laws give us
the right to live our lives *

At least I go out
and get what's coming *

Because BeBe's kids
ain't known for running *

So come on down
even if you're abused *

You robots are all right
until you blow a fuse *

Y'all say I'm wild
but I'm only a child *

What BeBe's kids
really need is freedom *

Freedom, freedom *

Freedom!

Now it's time to rest
my case *

And get the verdict
face to face *

Wave your hands
so we can see them *

Wave your hands
like you don't need them *

If you believe Kahlil is right
somebody say freedom *

Freedom, freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Freedom *

Oh, girl, you got to try
on this blush.

I got enough makeup.

Now, you stop it, now.
I look good.

Yeah, but you got to put these
big red circles
on your cheeks.

Make them look
like targets.

I don't wanna
look like Shirley Temple.

Now, move girl,
ain't you done yet? Let's go.

In a minute.

Ain't nobody looking at you.
Come on.

Uh-oh.

JAMIKA:
That's them. I can tell
by them Lee Press-On toenails.

ROBIN:
Look who's with her.

Old Vivian with the skippys
with the broke-down back.

Give me a break.

Hmph. I see some women
can't do anything without
a man.

Why you lie on me?
Don't you know this kind
of game

only brings me
and Jamika closer

and guarantees that you and I
never get together again.
Never!

For me to lie on you
I'd have to care about you

and believe me, I don't give
a damn about neither
one y'all.

Ain't that a--

That's why I wear my ring
on the wrong finger,

because I married
the wrong woman.

Hair look like
the back of a toaster.

Your mama.

My mama?
Yeah, your whole family.

Ain't that a--
Look at you.

Your mama so old, she was
there the first day
of slavery.

Your mama so old, she's older
than your grandmamma.

Your mama so fat,
she on both sides of
the family.

Your mama's so dumb, she
thought a quarterback was
a refund.

Ain't that a--
Your mama so dumb,

they told her
it was chilly outside,

she went and got a bowl.

( laughs )

You ready to go, baby?
Come on, let's get out
of here.

I think it's time
to flush and leave.

You can have him. I don't have
a problem getting a man.

Well, girlfriend,
here's some lotion

for your ashy ankles.

That'll make it even easier.

That's all right,
your mama so country,

she got in an elevator

and thought it was
a mobile home.

You know what that was
all about, right?

He still loves you.
Mm-hm.

Robin,
I'm so sorry.

Oh, Jamika,
it doesn't really matter,

because I'm with you,

and this day turned out to be,
you know, kind of special
to me.

Me too.

I'm sorry I put you
on trial like that.

Oh, Jamika,

you so crazy.

( yells )

KID: Run!

Come on, the cops are still
after us.

We better get out of here.
Let's go. Let's go!

Now I've got them. Surrender
now and face moderate
casualties.

It's the end of the line
for you kids.

LASHAWN:
Hey, come on, this way.

KAHLIL: Move. Excuse me.
Get out of the way.

Move, man.

GUARD: Come on, come on.
Let's go, people.

Out of our way.

I got--

Oh, no!

Phew.

It looks like you missed
the boat, huh?

I'll be
the captain.

SAILOR: Oh, no.
It's BeBe's kids!

LASHAWN: Ahoy, mates.
I spot a big old boat

to our starboard side
that's ready to get vicked.

Give me that. Let me see.

They're still after us.
What say you, crew?

Are you down to take them off?

KIDS: Aye, aye!

Bust it, then.

( triumphant theme plays )

As you enjoy the last cruise
on the Titanic

stop by the snack bar
for flavor-icious

iceberg pops for you
and your family.

We also have delicious
popcorn...

( "Moonlight Becomes You"
by Johnny Mathis playing )

Monsieur.

Moonlight becomes you *

It goes with your hair *

( sniffs )

( chuckles )

Robin, you are
something else.

Something...
You so crazy.

Boy, I'm scared of you.
Look at you. Mm-mm-mm.

( crash )

What was that?

I know it's them kids.
I know it's them kids.

If I could just touch
one of them, I would--

Hey! Hey!

Robin? Robin?

Oh, my God! The boat!
The boat!

Women and children...

( cheers )

Now what, captain?

Ram them.
KIDS: All right!

MAN: Come on, we gotta
get out of here!

MAN 2: Abandon ship.

We're experiencing
difficulties, but the snack
bar's still open,

where they've got that
finger-- They're going
to ram us!

( crowd screams )

KIDS: We BeBe's kids.
We don't die, we multiply.

Somebody help me!
I'm right behind you.

Hey, wait for me.

( mutters indistinctly )

Fun World.

Robin, wait.

Oh, no. I had enough
of them kids.

I can't be around
no bad people, Jamika.

You know I'm on parole.

Boy, you ain't on no parole.
Let's go get the kids.

I ain't stuttin'
those kids, Jamika.

If you were smart,
you'd come right along
with me.

GUARD:
I'll call for backup!

GUARD 2:
Boat 73 going in.

Did you buy your kid
a Nintendo game
this Christmas?

Did I buy
my kid a Nintendo--?

Give me a break,
okay, kid?

I don't think so.

Look, we were
going to, okay?

We were going to--
We were going to.

What say you, crew?
Should I?

KIDS: Shark food!

Wahh!

( splash )
Next.

( panting )

Don't try to leave them,
Robin.

That's why they shot
their daddy.

ROBIN: Come on.

Get out of the way. Get out
of the way. Get out
of the way!

( panting )

Gotta go. Gotta go.

It's my car. Where's my keys?
Ain't that a-- Look out.

It ain't time to go.

Are you trying
to leave us?

( sighs )

KIDS:
Fun World! Fun World!

Fun World! Fun World!
Fun World!

Quiet down!

Hey, Ma, guess what we did?
We jumped out of a boat,

and then we cut off
Tommy Toad's feet off.

And then we took over
a pirate ship,

and then we saw another ship.
And then we--

Quit talking.
PEE WEE: Fun World.

Home, blacky.

Ain't that a--

( tires screech )

You messed up now.
That's it.

KIDS:
Fun World! Fun World!

LaShawn.
Girl, have you gone crazy?

( sniffs )

What's that funky smell?

JAMIKA: Pee Wee,
did you go again?

ROBIN: What's corn
doing on the floor?

( explosions )

( gasps )

( sighs ):
Oh.

I ain't never been glad
to see cops before,

but I was sure happy then.

Happier than a runaway slave,
papers and all.

Help. Help. Help.

These kids are dangerous.

Boy got a knife bigger
than Rambo's.

One kid got a Colt
longer than Shaft's.

KIDS: Boo!

Uh-oh! Those are BeBe's kids.

I have had it.

I am pissed off to the highest
level of pissivity.

Now, I'm taking
these kids home now.

Not now,
but right now.

But BeBe isn't home yet.

No, she's home.
I know she's home.

And she's home getting her
boots smoked, right now

just like you could be.

But, no. You want to sit here
and watch these badass kids.

If she didn't
want to watch them,

she shouldn't
have had them.

She didn't have
them by herself, Robin.

What'd you say "Robin" for?
I ain't their daddy.

At least you recognize
that they do have one.

I don't see nobody
shaking their heads,

pointing their fingers
at him.

Now what you wanna go
and point the finger

at Old Slewfoot for,
huh?

I thought the devil
was through

when he made
Rosemary's babies,

but, oh, no.

Oh, no.
Now we got BeBe's kids.

( melancholy theme plays )

( kids yawning )

Now, kids,
what do you say

to Mr. Harris
for the lovely trip?

ALL:
Thank you very much.

PEE WEE: They didn't wanna go
with four black kids

in the first place.

( giggles )

So where we going
next week, Mr. Harris?

Next week? I'll take you
somewhere next week.

I'll take you
to a snake pit.

Now go on, your mother's
waiting for you.

( blows raspberry )

Yo, wait up.

MAN: Hey, get back here.
Get back here with my stuff.

PEE WEE: Hey, it better not
be nothing from my crib.

I better walk them in.

Let me walk them in,

because I want to give BeBe
a piece of my mind.

ROBIN:
I could see why they spent

so much time
over at Jamika's house.

It looked like they live
next door to a crack house.

Try to phone hell from there,
it'd be a local call.

( indistinct chattering
from rooms )

Oh, hey.

( yells )

( blows )

Mommy?

The place looked like
MOVE headquarters.

Mommy?

Mama, are you home?

Mom,
are you there?

What is this,
another unpaid bill?

"Jamika, please give
the kids dinner.

"I'll be home soon. BeBe."

That girl crazy.

Y'all ain't got nothing
in here to eat?

Well, here. Here's $10.
Call the pizza man.

He don't come
around here no more.

You leaving?

Well...

I'm sure your mother
will be home soon.

Just keep the door locked,
all right?

I sure had
a good time.

Take care of yourselves.

Bye-bye, y'all.

ALL:
Bye, Mr. Harris.

( melancholy theme plays )

Now do you
understand?

I understand that BeBe
needs a good realtor.

Those kids don't stand a
chance in that neighborhood.

No, I don't think that
neighborhood stands a chance

against BeBe's kids.

Now, I know they have
a behavior problem,

but they're still kids.

Jamika,
I was a kid too.

And I lived
like that too.

But I wasn't as bad
as those kids.

Nowhere near as bad
as those kids.

If I got in trouble,
my mother'd go get a switch

and beat me until
my daddy get home.

Then he'd put on
that blues record,

the one that skipped.

Whup you when I wanna *

When I wanna, when I wanna *

See, Robin, you making
my case. These kids need--

Need a what?
A social worker?

I already got a job, and it
pays better benefits
than that one.

Oh, you going
to be like that, huh?

ROBIN:
That was it.

That was it?
Not another word.

You just dropped
her off?

She got out the car
didn't say nothing.

Well, what did you say?
Say?

I wasn't going to play myself,

if she was going
to play high post.

Oh, man.

Oh, man, nothing.

Say, man, you did
the right thing

leaving them kids.

They were nothing
but trouble.

Listen, you don't need
to look out

for nobody
but yourself.

That's why I am
where I am today.

What am I doing?
I gotta go get those kids.

I can't just leave them there.

Jamika?

I think I judged--
Well, wait. Hold up.

We both been
under a lot of stress

and said some things
we didn't really mean.

Well, I--

Well...

KIDS: Oooh.

Hey, now.

Your mama kind
of like him, huh?

Yeah, and I kind
of like him too.

Uh, it looks like cooties
is catching.

Come here. I'll show you.

Go ahead, beat him
like he owe you money.

I like LaShawn,
boy.

Robin, the kids
really do appreciate

what you've done
for them today.

Well, you know.

They just have their
own way of showing it.

Hey, what's this?

Hey, Slim,
we saved you a slice.

( flies buzzing )

PEE WEE: So where we going
next, Mr. Harris?

How about Las Vegas?

Vegas? We ain't going
to no Vegas.

You're barely getting a ride
to the end of the block,

so just sit back,
buckle up, be happy,

and check
Pee Wee's drawers.

ROBIN: I don't know how I let
Jamika talk me into coming.

We got 14 cents
between all of us.

JAMIKA: Robin,
it's going to be okay.

Jamika, this ain't a--

You know them kids
don't know how to act.

The circus
can't train them kids.

Oh, Robin, look at those
sweet little faces.

I ain't having it.
I'm like Marvin Gaye.

I want to know
what's going on.

Oh, no, it's BeBe's kids!
Ain't that a--

Robin.
What did you all do now?

KAHLIL: I ain't never been
here, huh, LaShawn?

Oh, yeah, let me up
out of here, baby.

Vegas at last.
Now, this is my kind of town.

Pour one for the poor one.
Six-eight, running mates.

Box cars, don't
stretch me out, now.

Las Vegas in effect, baby.

JAMIKA: Pee Wee!

Pee Wee,
what you doing?

What's that
in your hand?

Pee Wee.
Pee Wee, put that down.

Pee Wee.
Pee Wee! No!

ROBIN:
Test-tube baby.

( "I Want to Thank You for
Love" by The Emotions plays )

Hoo, hoo, hoo *

Hoo, hoo *

Hoo, hoo, hoo *

Do you want to come? *

Hoo, hoo, hoo *

Hoo, hoo *

Hoo, hoo, hoo *

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo *

Looking in the mirror *

I see your face *

For a little while *

And I think of all
the love you'll give me *

I just had to smile *

You believed in me *

Even loved me before *

I gave you a reason to *

What can I do? *

To prove to you *

There's no way I can stop *

Showing you what's
in my heart *

I want to thank you, baby *

I want to thank you
for your love *

Sweet, sweet love *

I want to thank you,
thank you *

I do appreciate your love *

Thank you, thank you *

Doo, doo, doo, oh *

Every time I think about you *

Chills run up
and down my spine *

It's all about joy *

Those precious memories
we share *

Will always last till
the end of time *

I promise you'll always *

Get my everlasting love *

'Cause I never *

Thought I'd ever *

Release myself
to someone else *

Your the face
makes me want to tell you *

Thank you *

I want to thank you, baby *

I want to thank you
for your love *

Sweet, sweet love *

I want to thank you, baby *

I do appreciate your love *

Thank you, thank you, now *

Doo, doo, oh *

What can I do? *

There's no way I can stop *

Showing you what's
in my heart *

Thank you *

I want to thank you *

Thank you for your love *

Sweet, sweet love *

I want to thank you, baby *

I do appreciate your love *

Thank you, thank you, now *

Oh, yes *

You were down for me
and I want to thank you *

I want to thank you
for your love *

Come on *

My sister, my brother,
I want to thank you *

Ooh, I want to thank you *

Sweet, sweet love *

I want to thank you *

My love, want to thank you *

I want to thank you,
I want to thank you *

I want to thank you *

Woo, take me in your arms *

I want to thank you *

I want to thank you
for your love *

Sweet, sweet love *