All language subtitles for the.neighborhood.s08e18.720p.hdtv.x264-syncopy[EZTVx.to]

Hey, Mrs. B.

Wow.

You look great.

Oh, do I? Yeah, what's the occasion?

Well, the occasion was your makeup and
hair test for the wedding.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I don't know
how I missed it.

Hey, Mama.

Whoa, you look amazing.

Yeah, what's the occasion?

I didn't miss our anniversary, did I?

I missed the hair and makeup test.

I texted you about it twice.

What? Oh, uh, mama, you texted the
Butler fam group. Courtney's not in that

Yes!

I'm sorry.

I see the Butler Boys over here. No, no,
Butler Boys is up.

Okay,

so which group has the little Yoda
driving the car? Oh, not the Daphne

group. That's where we talk about pick
-up and drop -offs for daycare. Oh, and

for the record, it's Grogu on a land
speeder, but yes.

Change that.

Okay,

the makeup test may have been my
oversight, but I am... very busy, okay?

got the florist, the rentals, the
caterers. I mean, if we take our eyes

ball, we're going to be sitting around
the reception eating gravy jacks.

I ain't be mad at that till Jack Fry's
be fired.

Marty, come on.

Get your head in the game, man. Be
better.

Welcome to the block. Welcome to the
neighborhood.

Welcome to the hood.

That fight was a nightmare.

Because one passenger is allergic,
nobody gets peanuts.

Mom, it seems like a small sacrifice to
save a life.

No flakes.

Oh, look!

It's your buddy, Calvin.

Oh, well, Paula.

Welcome back. Thank you. How was your
flight?

Doesn't anybody dress up to get on an
airplane anymore?

I mean, the girl sitting next to me, she
was wearing pajamas.

Nothing sacred.

But the flight was surprisingly smooth.

I was a little worried when I saw that
we had a DEI pilot.

Oh, I bet you were.

Yeah. There, get your mic.

Mom, Mom, you really shouldn't say
things like that.

What? I said it was smooth. I mean, are
compliments illegal now?

Hey, Paula, how is your night?

I better call Chip and tell him I landed
safely.

I'm sure he's been worried sick.

since I told him about the lady pilot.

Oh, okay. So she just don't like nobody.

Chip is her new boyfriend.

He owns a chain of car dealerships back
home.

That's all she talked about on the way
here.

Chip was a fan of the opera at the Great
Lakes Supper Club, and Chip had the

hips of a salsa dancer.

He doesn't sound so bad.

Chip is a very generous lover. He does
things your father would never do.

I couldn't possibly take another bite of
cake.

I cannot believe y 'all are complaining
about having a taste cake.

Uh, excuse me.

But who told your mother that you didn't
need her help with the tablecloth?

I was just trying to take something off
her plate.

See, that's just it.

She doesn't want things off her plate.
She wants everything on her plate.

She lives for this.

Yeah, but she's been so stressed out,
running all over town. We don't want our

wedding to kill her.

Okay, okay.

I see what's going on here. You think
this is your wedding.

No, no, no, no. This is her wedding.

Yeah, she told me that.

You know, and if we survive this, we're
still not out the woods.

Because two weeks later, it's Malcolm's
wedding, which is actually... Your

mama's wedding.

Don't forget it. I mean, the slightest
thing could set her off.

You know what I call her when she gets
like this?

TNT.

Ouch. Does she know you want to call her
that? Oh, hell no.

You're not going to flip on this, are
you?

Never.

Now, listen. Y 'all let me handle this.

I am the only one that knows how to deal
with her when she gets like this. So

for the next month, everything runs
through me.

All we clear.

Crystal. Roger that.

Here.

Mrs. B, thank you so much for doing the
afternoon pickups and all the wedding

errands. Is there anything you can't do?
Oh, stop it.

Oh,

man, I just love going to daycare. Yeah,
but that little Connor, he's a piece of

work, though.

Really? He's usually so sweet.

Well, Tina says he's not sweet, so, you
know, drop it.

You know what? Caught him pulling
Daphne's hair.

Oh, no. Did you talk to Miss Doris?

Miss Doris? I talked to Connor.

Mama, he's two.

We usually let the teachers handle this
kind of stuff.

Well, that little boy needed to be told.

We do not pull hairs.

Oh, Jeopardy's supposed to be on Channel
4, but no.

Here it's on seven.

Did your crazy governor do that?

Yes, Mom. It's all part of his radical
agenda.

I knew it.

What's with the lamp?

It's a Himalayan rock salt lamp.

Some doctors believe it helps with
stress relief, fat burning, improved

Sounds like a load of crap.

I agree, but...

You know, the telehealth company I work
for wants me to encourage my therapy

clients to buy them.

So you're selling lamps now?

Let me talk to Chip. I mean, his
business is going crazy. I'm sure he

a job for you. Mom, wouldn't that job be
in Michigan?

Well, I didn't say there wouldn't be
adjustment.

Mom,

we moved here for a reason.

To hurt me?

No.

Gemma got a very impressive job here.
Yeah, but she was telling me that she's

over it. Right, Gemma?

I didn't say over it.

No, I don't blame you. I once worked for
some fancy private school where

everyone gets a gold star.

Even the slow kids.

Oh.

Definitely didn't say slow kids.

Mom, please, I know that you love
Michigan, but our lives are here.

Plus, Grover just started a new high
school.

Oh, yeah, where he's covering himself
with tattoos.

One tattoo, Mom. Well, in Kalamazoo,
kids don't get tattoos because they're

in gangs.

Grover is not in a gang. We can't even
get him to join a club.

Well, I'm just glad you're all so happy
here.

I mean, if you're choosing to pay these
California taxes, it must be worth it.

It is worth it. We have beautiful
beaches.

Yeah, we never go to them, but we could.

Daphne's finally down, and we are never
giving her cake again.

Marty, we've got problems.

Look at your phone.

Connor's mom is in the parents' group
chat complaining that your mom

and disciplined her child.

Yeah, well, her child pulled Daphne's
hair.

Hey, man, where did all the cake go?

Uh -oh. It's Doris.

What, the daycare director?

Decline. Yeah, don't answer. Just
decline.

Courtney, you can decline.

Courtney!

Hello? Hi!

Miss Doris!

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Sure. Uh -huh.

Uh -huh, I understand.

Thank you.

Well, that was a lot of uh -huhs.

Your mom?

has been banned from daycare. Oh.

What are we going to do? We can't tell
her. It'll destroy her.

We have to tell her something. Oh, no,
we don't.

Listen, you heard Pop.

When she gets stressed out like this,
everything goes to him.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK.

Uh, Daddy, we have a problem.

Why does everything in this town have to
be vegan?

It doesn't.

And froyo isn't vegan.

I just want to know, who canceled ice
cream?

Calvin!

Come here.

Can I ask you a question?

Of course.

Why does this keep happening?

Everybody in L .A. thinks my name is
Karen.

You know, because you beat Karen so
much.

That's definitely the reason.

Oh, good.

Uh -oh. What?

I got a text from Marty.

Says Tina's been banned from daycare.

What? Why?

This is all I have.

Oh, my God.

She's going to be so upset.

Well, not on my watch.

Let me text the boys back in the group
text and just let them know, stay out of

this.

I will keep T and Tina from blowing her
top.

Did you hear that? Oh, that is...

So, the perfect nickname?

Isn't it right?

Boo -boo!

Okay, good!

Dad says he's handling it. Oh, damn.

Pop sent the text to the Butler fam
chat.

Your mom is in that one.

We are all gonna die!

Daddy,

what have you done?

What are you talking about? That text.

About T and Tina blowing her top?

You sent it to the group with Mama in
it.

Oh,

damn, I did.

You did.

Look, it is a group chat.

You check and double check, and if all
else fails, you unsend.

But it's too late now.

The die has been cast.

Mark, Marty, get a hold of yourself.

All right, look, I'll just say that you
didn't like the cake that your mama

picked out and that you want coconut.

And you thought she would be mad.

So that's it. Say it with me. Coconut.

Coconut. Coconut.

How do you explain calling her T and
Tina?

Okay,

you know what?

I'll just say that she's hot like a
firecracker.

Oh. Huh? Oh, yeah.

Come on. It just came from nowhere. I
landed a plane without me. You see me?

She's going to love that. She's going to
love it. And she is not here screaming

at us, so maybe she hasn't seen her yet.

That's a good point. Yeah. We still got
time to smash our phone.

Oh, Jeff.

No.

Tom Selleck hasn't stolen me away from
you yet.

Okay,

good night, honey.

No.

No, I can't.

We're right here.

Yeah,

we're right here, Chip.

So how's Chip, besides horny?

He's fine.

Oh, and guess what?

He has a job for you.

Mom, I told you, I... I don't want to
sell cars.

Your passion is selling lamps?

They're making you sell lamps now?

Oh, honey.

And the job wouldn't even be in sales.

Mom, I told you, I don't want the job.

Because you'd be a nepo baby?

Nobody has to know he's rocking your
mommy.

That wasn't the issue, although now it
will haunt me forever. Mama, for the

hundredth time, we live in Los Angeles.

All right.

I get it.

I had to try.

And you know I only do this because I
love you and I miss you and I just wish

you weren't so far away.

Actually sweet.

Rocking her world?

Okay.

Looks like the coast is clear.

Our phone's right there. Okay, what's
our password? Don't worry about that.

Everybody just clear out.

Watch out for shrapnel. No, Daddy, you
don't have to...

That's true. We good.

How you doing?

That's the real question.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Where did my phone go? That's what I'm
looking for. You know, I don't know.

You know, how about we go to the store
and get you a new one? Yeah.

You know, I hear the cameras are so much
better now.

Oh, okay, fine. But before we go, a
quick question.

Who's T and Tina? Damn it!

So, who is T and Tina?

That's the question. That is the
question.

You know, T and Tina...

Is you, babe.

Because you hot like a firecracker.

You like that, don't you?

I do not.

That's all I got.

Wait a minute. Why are you so worried
I'm going to blow my top?

It's about the cake. We have decided we
want coconut. Coconut.

Oh, okay. That makes sense because
you're allergic.

So you want your whole chest to break
out in a big itchy rash on your wedding

day. Daddy made us lie.

It's not my fault that y 'all sent our
grandbaby to a little punk -ass

preschool.

Wait, wait a minute. What are y 'all
talking about?

It's about that little boy that you
yelled at, dear. I did not yell at that

little boy. When do I yell at kids?

Regardless, Doris has...

Banned you from daycare.

Banned?

I see.

Well, I would love to tell Doris my side
of the story, so I'll stop

by and say hi.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Now, now, do not worry about me, okay?

I'll just have a quick chat with Doris
and...

Maybe take away something she loves.

Well, she very helpfully alerted
security to three possible terrorists at

bag drop.

0 for 3, by the way.

Well, now she's Chip's problem.

I gotta say, he's kind of good for her.

Yeah, she did seem happy.

Just so insulting that she would think
that I would drop everything and go work

for the great and powerful Chip.

Well, I'm the Phantom. I sell cars.

Although I checked out his website, it's
actually pretty impressive.

Yeah, I looked at it.

Seems snazzy enough.

Oh, somebody's texting me from
Kalamazoo.

It's Chip.

Hey, sport.

You're not my dad, Chip. It's okay, Dad.

Just wanted to give you a few deets on
the job. Not fooling anyone with the

deets, Grandpa.

VP of Human Resources?

Isn't that kind of good?

I mean, it is.

In a different world, that would be
right up my alley, but it's in

and we live in L .A. Yeah, we do. We
could go to the beach right now.

You want to go right now?

I don't know. Traffic.

Look, babe, I'm sorry that you're having
to deal with all of this.

I mean, you got enough on your plate
with the wedding coming up in two weeks

all these super sensitive parents
snitching you out?

Basically over nothing.

I'm not mad at them, Calvin. I'm mad at
you.

Me? Yes.

After all our years we've been together,
I don't want you thinking that you have

to manage me.

I was just trying to protect your
feelings. Why?

You didn't want T and Tina to go off?

I didn't make up that nickname.

Well, who did?

Okay, I did.

But it was actually kind of funny before
you found out about it.

Calvin, you're always saying people
should talk things out, be more direct.

Maybe you could show me the same respect
instead of going around texting behind

my back.

Okay. I mean, you're right, my back.

But just for the record, I'm not the
only one in this marriage who isn't

direct. What are you talking about?

My favorite Adidas tracksuit.

The one I accidentally spilled bleach
on?

I mean, come on. It was older than
Malcolm.

You insisted on going out in it.

You wore the A off. It just said Ditas.

Well, you don't need the words if you
got the stripes. The people know.

Okay, fine.

I could have been more direct, just like
you could have been.

I will be.

Come here, girl.

I mean, you really didn't like when I
said you were hot like a firecracker?

I kind of liked it.

Well, in that case, this is about to be
the fourth that you lie over here.

Well, all right!

I don't know.

It could be therapeutic for you, Jerry.

The heat of the light bulb releases the
negative ions in the Himalayan salt.

Will this help me with my online
shopping addiction?

No, uh... No, Jerry, it's a lamp made
out of salt. It won't do anything

for anybody.

Well, I guess I'll try it.

No, Jerry, stop buying garbage on the
Internet and go see a real therapist,

which is what I used to be.

So is the shipping free?

Goodbye, Jerry.

Gemma, I've been thinking.

Whoa.

No, no, no, no, no, Dave.

You put this in the group chat.

Maybe going to Kalamazoo is not so
crazy.