Original subtitles

Do you think losing my baby is God's punishment

because we used IVF?

It cannot be a gift from God if it's not natural.

I'm pregnant.

You are both blessed.

I need to know I can rely on you.

I'm doing my best, Lena.

When do you teach beginners?

I don't. My colleague Tim is very good

and he would be more than happy to teach you.

Now here we are, still happily non-monogamous.

Wow.

She was all over you.

And I have a raging hard-on for a bookish, intellectual type.

Not with friends.

No, the rules are there for a reason. They work.

Are you saying this is something you'd actually wanna try?

Colossus Building Supplies.

Registered to an Eddie Smallwood.

Bloody hell. That's Spencer.

Are those guys cops?

Think of the money.

Five grand each, we'll be home in no time.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Ah!

♪ If you're looking for beauty to save you ♪

♪ If you know all the rules you must break ♪

♪ Every answers waiting to be found ♪

♪ Seems we're trying ♪

♪ Worth denying ♪

♪ But it tears you apart ♪

♪ Once you lose your mind ♪

♪ It comes alive ♪

♪ The ties that bind us ♪

♪ Make us try to find the way out ♪

♪ Be careful of what you leave behind ♪

Aww... I'm so sorry, Peter.

He's so excited about what you've got in those bin bags.

My fish died.

Hence the smell.

Oh, how awful!

How?

Pfft, I don't know.

Aww, I'm terribly sorry. Come on, Mister.

Hey mate.

Hey.

Hey, you, er...

you weren't at a building supplies place

in Sheepscar yesterday, were you?

- Where? - Roseville Road?

God, no.

All day in office, sadly.

Oh, could have sworn it was you.

Certainly looked like a couple of traffic cops.

Did you get their numbers?

- Nah. - Hm.

You got some big scoop?

Might do, yeah. Can't say yet.

But it'll be a corker if I can pull it off.

Nice.

Good luck.

Anything I can do to help?

Actually, if I wanted to check someone's criminal record,

but there was nothing on file.

Well, like who?

Local businessman, for example.

I'd lose my job if I did something like that. Sorry.

Of course. Yeah.

Oh well. No worries.

Have a good day.

Miss Greenwood?

Miss Greenwood?

Miss Greenwood?

I am so sorry. Can you repeat that?

I hope that was a nice daydream you were having?

I was just asking,

are you happy with the new after school rota?

Absolutely.

What the hell was in that van?

Diamonds.

Diamonds?

You didn't want to know, Danny. Don't give me that.

Wh-what, from where?

South Africa, I guess. I don't know.

Trafficked illegally?

Obviously Danny, he's hardly likely

to have just declared 'em to customs, is he?

You sold this to me as a piece of cake.

We both could have been killed!

My son could have ended up without a father.

I'm sorry.

We're both in one piece, aren't we?

We're safe and sound now.

What about CCTV? We'll be all over it.

Don't worry about that. Leave that to me.

The issue here, Dan,

is we're in serious shit with Spencer.

No, I don't want to hear it!

Danny! Dan!

For fuck's sake...

Uh...

Find a point of focus and breathe.

You can leave that there.

I will go to whatever class I want.

Fucking creep!

So, what we do

is put the support brackets at the bottom, here,

all the way up, and away you go, up to the heavens.

Is it not tricky with the turn?

Oh no, love. We do these all the time.

And I've got you down for this Saturday.

- That still good? - Yes.

Alright.

We'll have you exploring upstairs before you know it.

Right then, see you Saturday.

Thanks very much, I'll see you then.

Let's see...

Animal Minds, raising awareness for the mental health of pets.

We are living through an epidemic

of dog depression, apparently.

Wow. Wow, wow.

Who says local journalism is dead, huh?

Yeah, alright. Don't rub it in.

Well, hm, how about a real story

because your Dr. Watson has some brand new information.

Go on?

Firstly...

this is Colossus Building Supplies' turnover

for last year.

You've seen the place. It's not that special.

Bloody hell, that's huge.

Mm-hm, wait, no, that's... that's nothing compared to this.

Apparently our fictitious Eddie Smallwood

has accounts in the Cayman Islands.

Even though he's a figment of Robbie Spencer's imagination?

Look at all those zeros.

That would make him the richest man in Leeds...

...if he existed.

Who makes that much money

on the local property and development market?

Feels like this story's a whole lot bigger

than a bit of council corruption.

Mm-hm.

Hello.

Hey.

I might have an offer that you can't refuse.

What are you kids doing this weekend?

Not a lot.

Okay. Well, I've been offered a two bedroom suite

at Forefield Hall Spa for free.

- Forefield Hall? - Mm-hm.

- Are you serious? - What, do you fancy it?

Yeah! Wow. I mean, I nee-I need to check with Pete,

but I...I can't see why not.

Great. Promise to behave myself.

Don't do that.

You let me know when you've spoken to him.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Great.

How's it looking?

Yeah, see.

Fake number plates and we're totally unrecognizable.

We're good, mate.

Alright, well, then that's me out.

No Danny, it doesn't work like that.

I've told you, we've got to go and see him.

- No, no. - Pronto.

You recruited me.

You deal with it.

I want nothing more to do with him.

Cup of awful dreck?

- Why not. - Mm-hm.

It'll stave off the existential angst for ten minutes.

Oh, you'll never guess whose place I was at last night.

The throuple.

Oh. So, is it always just the three of them?

Well, in the relationship, yeah.

But, you know, they can play with others.

They ever ask you?

Oh God, yeah, all the time.

And you've never...?

No, have you ever?

No.

Why are you asking me these questions?

I don't know.

I guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy

trying to figure out how the world works these days.

Mm-hm.

Well, no, I haven't, but, you know,

doesn't mean I wouldn't.

You only live once, right?

Hi Yvonne. How are you?

Bit of a weird one with your next class.

Um, literally half the class cancelled last minute.

Right.

Um, well, I mean, it looks like all of the school mums.

So, maybe there was an event or something that I missed.

That makes sense.

Okay.

Hi guys.

So, we are a little depleted this week.

But, good news is that just means more

one-on-one attention from me.

I want to come in this time.

You can't just walk up whenever you feel like it.

Can't you see I'm genuine, Lena?

Please.

It's time I met him.

Ethan?

Ethan.

This is Danny.

Hi.

I, uh... I, uh...

I...

I'm your... dad.

Ah, rude!

What are you saying?

I said you're rubbish at signing.

Oh.

I'd like you to teach me.

Does that mean I'm going to start seeing you now?

Would you like that?

I guess.

Mum says you're a policeman.

That's right.

Caught any evil criminals?

Oh, plenty.

Cool.

I was hoping you and I could go out together

next time I come over.

Yeah, let's just see how we're going.

It's a lot for him to take in.

I can lipread, you know.

Oh, there you are.

Me and Miss painted a dancer together all day.

Oh, I think Miss Greenwood would like a rest now.

No, not at all.

All she talks about is Miss Greenwood.

Obsessed, aren't you?

I haven't seen ya, since...

I just want to say how sorry I am.

Thank you.

- Right, come on. - Bye, Miss Greenwood.

Bye.

- Mum, Mum! - Hello!

Got picked for t'football team!

Yes! Of course you did! Well done.

- Mum? - Yeah?

What's a whore?

Ollie, who said that to you?

Mm, they didn't. Just heard.

Okay. Well, that's a very disrespectful word

that people say about women.

And you are never to use it. Do you understand?

Okay.

He seems like a sweet kid.

Danny, let's get a few things clear.

If you swan in here like some kind of savior

and then just fuck off again the moment things get tough,

you will destroy that boy.

I'm here, now. For good.

You have my word.

Fine.

So, tell your family.

- Yeah, not now. - Why not?

- Scared she'll leave you? - Leave Becka out of it.

Embarrassed because of how we met?

Worried you might lose your job if your bosses found out?

I need him in your life properly.

He has a brother, for Christ's sake.

Don't you think that they should meet?

Ah, she's gonna find out anyway, Danny,

so just get it out in the open.

I told you, I need time.

Look, I've got to go, but...

I'll be back next week.

Take him out for a day. Okay?

Okay.

I mean, where the hell is he picking up

words like that?

Oh, come on. He didn't know what it meant.

Yeah.

Are you alright?

Yeah. I'm just...

fed up of well-meaning mums telling me how sorry they are.

People really need to mind their own business.

You know, I've wanted to be a mum since I was young, Becks.

What if it doesn't happen?

You don't know that it won't.

Did you find it easy?

We weren't trying.

It just sort of happened.

I mean, we weren't exactly being careful.

You must have been open to the possibility then.

Well, it's more that we were... young and reckless.

Well, it all worked out okay.

Yeah.

I mean, this isn't necessarily the life

that I would have chosen.

What'd you mean?

Well, there's a world where we'd still be traveling

and having wild adventures.

I know you can't do that forever.

Sorry, I don't mean to be moaning.

I have an awful lot to be grateful for.

No, don't be daft.

We always want what we don't have.

Didn't you think to ask me first?

I'm asking you now.

You've already told her we're going.

Okay, so I'll call her and say thanks, but no,

we don't want to come on a free luxury spa weekend.

I just...

- What? - Ah...

I just feel like we're spending all our free time with them.

What is your problem with them?

I don't have a problem. They're perfectly nice.

- It's not... - Well, good.

Then get over yourself.

We'll just go and have a fun weekend.

Babe, can...

can I just say something?

I feel... I feel like you're a million miles

away from me half the time.

I'm fine.

We have been through something really tough.

Yeah, and now we're moving on from it.

I'm just trying to make you happy.

This will make me happy.

Okay.

If that's what you want.

As long as it's just, you know, a normal weekend.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, come on, you must have thought it.

Why don't you just stop worrying?

We'll just go and have a nice time.

Ollie, I said turn it off five minutes ago.

Just one more minute.

Now!

Well, if the stupid controller worked properly, then I would.

Dad! I hadn't finished!

Do you know how lucky you are to have all this stuff?

Do you?

There was no need for that.

He doesn't respect me.

Oh, bollocks.

He hangs on your every word.

You've been in a shitty mood since you got in.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Listen... you and I are gonna go away

and have a lovely weekend together.

Yeah.

Yeah, alright.

Sh-sh-sh-sh.

- Danny! - Sorry.

Sorry, I thought you saw me.

I thought someone was being attacked.

Yeah, I know. Me too.

It's just some foxes mating.

Oh, it's not.

Aah.

They don't sound like they're having a very nice time.

No. Who are we to judge?

Exactly. We all do it.

Just not in a bush at two in the morning.

Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the hotel.

What? Oh, are you guys coming?

- Did Becka not tell you? - No, no.

- What? - No, probably...

wanted to surprise me.

Well...

I hope it's a nice surprise.

Goodnight.

Becka, this place looks incredible!

They gave you all this for free?

Yep.

Amazing what 30,000 followers can get you these days.

Whoa!

- Whoho! - Wow.

I didn't know we were friends with such a VIP.

Oh, hardly.

No, I just persuaded a bunch of yoga mums

to cough up for a weekend here.

Wow. Here's to the yoga mums and their disposable income.

Mm-hm. And Danny's mum for childcare.

Oh, I'll definitely drink to that.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Cheers.

You have so many followers. How'd you keep on top of it?

I just post a few things here and there.

I don't even read the comments.

Yeah, but ask her how long she takes setting up for each shot.

Yeah, okay, well, the phone is down this weekend

and I'm living in the moment. - Mm.

Um, speaking of which, itineraries.

So, Evie and I have a facial at two.

Followed by a sauna and steam room.

Oh!

And you both have massages.

- Nice. - Ooh.

- Sorry, Pete has a massage? - Mm-hm.

Um, well, first time for everything.

That's the spirit.

So, uh, which room shall we have?

Lady's choice.

Alright.

All done, and ready for lift-off.

Ah, this is gonna be life-changing.

Well, that's what we're here for.

- Thank you so much. - Okay.

So, what's this big story you're investigating?

Oh, it's pretty boring, really.

You know, I've genuinely never had a massage before.

- What, seriously? - Mm.

You must have.

You and your lovely lady need to live a little.

- As you keep telling me. - Mm.

Mm.

Go on then. Enlighten me, massage king.

Hm, it's simple.

Just be clear if they're being too rough or too soft.

Then just... lie back and drift off.

Oh, and, uh, get ready to activate the naked granny card

if the, uh, the masseuse is ridiculously hot.

What?

Well, you don't want any embarrassing arousal situations

if you're facing upwards,

so think of the least arousing thing you can muster,

such as your granny naked.

- Ah! Come on! - Yeah.

Hi guys, I'm Mel, this is Siobhan.

So, you're down for the full body massage today,

is that alright?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Looks like you're gonna need the full granny activation.

Mm.

Oh, I can't believe this is a freebie.

I'm so glad that we could do this.

It's my way of saying thank you.

For what?

For livening up a very boring cul-de-sac.

Me? You're the one livening things up.

I feel very boring.

Right, come on.

This... this setup that you've got with Danny.

I'm fascinated.

I've got so many questions.

What do you want to know?

Do you get jealous when he's with another woman?

No.

No, it's an act of trust.

We have very open, honest conversations.

And we discuss the rules.

I find it really liberating.

I know that he trusts me and I trust him.

That's amazing. Wow.

Hm.

So, if...

If?

If we wanted...

If you wanted to try it yourself?

What? With us?

Yeah.

Hm. Okay.

Well, I think the first thing I would ask is why?

Why you think you might like to.

Because I just...

it sounds really fun and exciting

and, well, forbidden.

Yeah.

What about Pete, though?

Get the impression it might not be his thing.

We've spoken about it.

- Huh? - Mm-hm.

To be honest, I actually think it could be what we need.

Hmm.

- Ah. - Oh, here they are.

How was it? How was the massage?

Oh, my God. Amazing.

- What? No way. - Yeah.

How many times have I told you to get one?

Well, I'm a new man. I'm all about the relaxation.

And it had absolutely nothing to do with the insane hotness

- of the masseuse. - Oh, I see.

- Mm. - Oh, I see.

Well...

Mm.

Alan? Alan?

What's all that?

Did you not even notice the engineer?

Well, I've been... I've been caught up with something.

Yeah, well it's done.

I can come back upstairs.

Right, well, um...

that's wonderful news, Jean. Really.

Well, I felt like we've got something to celebrate.

I've done you something nice and...

I thought afterwards, maybe we could...

go upstairs together.

Well, well, that sounds very lovely, it's just, um...

I'm still working.

I've just got to pop out and see a client.

Do you remember when we used to live together

before we were married?

And your mother was furious cause we were living in sin.

And every day before you went to work, you used to...

leave me a little note somewhere different in the house.

It would say, "I love you", "I miss you."

"Can't wait to see you."

Found one of those notes the other day in a book.

It said, "You're the only one for me."

I thought you'd be happy for us.

You know, the chance to be able to share a bed together again.

I am.

I really am, Jean.

I...look...

I've just got to pop out. I won't be long.

I'll be-I'll be back soon.

You had no intention of telling me

you invited the neighbors, did you?

I am sure that I told you.

Hm.

- Becka Whitwell... - Mm-hm.

You... are a bad girl.

I know, I know, I'm a fucking nightmare.

Mm.

Ah.

Oh, there he is. Ready for action.

Why don't we save it for later?

With our friends.

Babe, I told you this before.

I think it's extremely risky.

And our rule is always...

Yeah, but I've got a good feeling.

It feels different.

Come on, let's just... mix things up a little.

You're making assumptions about what they want.

Mm-mm. Nope.

She just explicitly told me that they're both up for it.

- What? She actually said that? - Mm-hm.

I don't know about it.

Well, I know how much you want her.

- The rules are there because... - Danny...

Fuck the rules. Come on, we're strong enough.

Let's show our friends the ropes.

Where's that wild side?

Mm.

- Mm, okay. - Mm?

Yeah, I want her.

I really want her. Mm.

- Do you want him? - Mm-hm.

I like the way he looks at me when he's trying so hard

not to look at me.

So innocent.

You know I love to corrupt the innocent.

Mm.

We said no friends.

Mm.

- But... - Mm.

Mm.

I could get used to this.

Are you having fun?

Of course.

But?

- It's all a bit weird. - Oh, come off it, Petey.

In what way?

I don't know.

Yes you do. I know exactly what you're thinking.

You might as well just say it.

Okay.

Do you think we've been... lured here to be corrupted?

I think we're both adults.

And I think we can take care of ourselves.

Hm. Nice way to avoid answering the question.

And what if something did happen?

What are you saying?

I'm just asking. Becka's hot.

You haven't got a pulse if you don't think that.

Well... yeah, duh, of course she is.

I think she likes you.

Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at Danny.

Do you find that threatening?

Or arousing?

'Cause for the record, I think it'd be pretty hot.

What are we even talking about? This is totally insane.

Yoo-hoo! Alan!

Oh, I think they're away for the weekend.

They went with that nice couple from number 49.

Are they a musician?

- Yes, yes. - No. Yes!

- Yes. - No?

Yes! Yes...

- Oh... - Yes?

- Yes. - You have to know.

- Okay. Am I alive? - No.

- Oh. - You've gotta drink.

Yeah, mm. Ah.

Oh, is it David Bowie?

- No. - No.

- Um... - No, drink.

- Ah... - Sorry.

Right. Oh, is it Prince, is it Prince?

No.

Ah, I'm gonna be wasted before I get this.

Ah...

You already are.

- Ah! - Oh, sh...

- Danny, Danny... - I'll get it.

- Try. - I'll get-I'll get the window.

- Oh... - Someone, turn off the music.

Ah.

Ah...

Everything okay, Sir?

Yeah, fine, fine. Yeah, yeah.

My, uh, my-my wife lit a candle,

- but it's out now. - Yes. Sorry.

- Yeah. - Really sorry.

Can we just remind guests

it's a strictly no smoking establishment.

- Of course, yeah. - Yes.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

- Good evening, Sir. - Yeah, yeah.

- Whoops. - Oh, what?

Who even was I?

- Oh my God. - Pete!

- Pete! - Pete... - Seriously, who?

- Oh, it's... - Really?

George Michael.

Oh dear.

I like George Michael as well.

Oh.

Thank you.

Come here.

Wait, wait, wait.

I really want this,

I'm just... suddenly really nervous.

Why don't I go first then?

Take a good look.

You're allowed.

I want you.

I really want you.

Ah...

Uh...

Oh...

Ah...

I can't. I, I...

I can't.

I'm sorry.

Ah!

Ah...

- Shit. - What?

Shit, I think the condom broke.

Don't worry, I'm on the pill.

You sure?

Just don't stop.

- Uh! - Ah!

Uh...

Ah!

Oh...

Uh...

Oh, my God.

Uh.

Ha.

Ah. I shouldn't have done that.

I told you, it's fine.

Are you absolutely sure?

Yeah.

Hm.

- Come here... - Mm...

Mm.