Original subtitles

[ BUZZING ]

AHH.

HMM.

HMM? [ GLASS BREAKING ]

OW!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ CHILD CRYING ]

AAH!

[ BOTTLE BREAKS ]

[ VARIOUS ANIMAL NOISES ]

[ GROWLING ]

[ RUMBLING ] HUH?

AAH!

AHH! AHH!

[ MECHANICAL WHIRRING ]

[ GLASS BREAKING ]

WHAAA!

[ ELECTRICITY BUZZES ]

[ SCREAMS ]

[ HELICOPTER SOUNDS ]

[ SPLAT ]

[ CRYING ]

♪ I WENT TO A PARTY AT

THE LOCAL COUNTY JAIL ♪

♪ ALL THE CONS WERE DANCING

AND THE BAND BEGAN TO WAIL ♪

♪ THERE'S A RUMOR GOIN' 'ROUND DEATH ROW ♪

♪ THAT A FUSE IS GONNA BLOW ♪

♪ AT THE LOCAL HOP AT THE LOCAL COUNTY JAIL ♪

♪ WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT? ♪

♪ WHATCHA GONNA DO? ♪

[ BOING ]

[ SPLAT ]

[ FOOTSTEPS ECHO ]

AAH!

[ GULP ]

[ GIGGLING ]

AAH!

Warden: HELLO, THERE!

YOU'RE IN SUPERJAIL.

I'M THE WARDEN, AND YOU'RE A CRIMINAL!

[ CAWS ]

Warden: NOW SAY HI TO YOUR NEW ROOMMATE.

HUH?

SHUT UP, BITCH!

[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

HEY, GARY, I'VE GOT A WORM FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.

[ WINGS FLUTTER ]

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY PENIS!

[ CRUNCH ] [ SHRIEKING ]

[ BEEP ] [ WHOOSH ]

THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.

I'M STARVING.

Alice: [ Deep voice ] HEY, SKINNY, IT'S SHOWTIME.

PLEASE LET ME HAVE A BITE OF THAT SANDWICH.

[ DISCO MUSIC PLAYS ] [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

THE HUSTLE...

I'M SO HUNGRY.

[ VIDEO PAGER BEEPS ] Jared: ALICE, WHERE ARE YOU?!

YOU'RE LATE FOR THE MONDAY-MORNING MEETING

WITH THE WARDEN!

Alice: DAMN IT!

[ MOANING ]

Jared: ALICE, WHERE ARE YOU?

YOU'RE LATE, AND WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!

YUMMY. INFORMATION.

YUMMY. TUNA FISH.

Jared: ALICE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN VIDEO-PAGING YOU ALL MORNING!

Alice: SO WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT MY BOSS, YOU LITTLE WIMP.

Warden: HELLO, ALICE.

Alice: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

Warden: WHAT DO YOU GOT FOR ME?

Jared: GOOD MORNING, SIR.

I HAVE OUTLINED THE TOPICS FOR THE MONDAY-MORNING MEETING.

Warden: PROCEED.

Jared: LAST NIGHT, THERE WAS A LAVA LEAK IN SECTOR 7.

WE LOST POWER IN QUADRANTS 5 THROUGH 9.

THAT INCLUDES THE CAFETERIA,

WHERE WE SUFFER SIGNIFICANT SPOILAGE.

I THINK IT WAS THE TWINS.

Warden: AHH.

DOS HERMANOS.

Jared: I THINK IT'S TIME WE SUSPEND THEIR PRIVILEGES, SIR.

Warden: LET ME WORRY ABOUT THE TWINS, JARED.

[ CLOCK CHIMING ]

OH, YES! NEW-PRISONER TIME!

JAILBOT!

Alice: WE JUST PICKED UP THIS CREEP AT 0900 HOURS.

HADN'T BEEN OUT OF REAL JAIL FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE.

Warden: I HATE REAL JAIL.

Jared: THEY NEVER WORK, SIR.

Warden: NO, THEY DON'T.

WHEN MY FATHER, THE PRISON MOGUL, LEFT ME HIS LEGACY,

I SWORE TO PERFECT THE ART OF INCARCERATION,

BUT THE WORLD IS NOT READY FOR MY METHODS.

SO I WENT OUTSIDE THE SYSTEM, AND I CREATED SUPERJAIL!

Alice: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

THIS SCUMBAG GETS OFF ON RABBITS.

Warden: YOU SICK BASTARD.

HEY, LITTLE GUY, UNDERNEATH ALL THAT PRECIOUS FUR,

ALL SCARED AND ALL ALONE.

♪ IF ONLY THEY KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE...♪

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

JARED, I WANT ONE OF THESE FOR EACH AND EVERY INMATE!

NOT A MOMENT TO SPARE!

Jared: I'M STARTING TO THINK THE WARDEN'S LOST IT.

BUNNY COSTUMES IN EXCESS OF 70,000?!

HOW ARE WE GONNA PAY FOR THAT?

MAYBE IF I ALLOCATE FROM THE EXPENSE REPORTS,

MOVE THIS TO THE BOTTOM LINE, ABSORB THAT...

AAH! THE NUMBERS SIMPLY WON'T CRUNCH!

[ Slurring ] HEY, BUB.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE GLASS OF ME TO GET YOU THROUGH?

Jared: I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!

WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO CUT

ALL THE EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES!

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE WARDEN SAYS!

OH, MAN, WE'RE [BLEEP]

RELAX, TOMATOES!

SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP, ZUCCHINI!

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THE VEGETABLE GARDEN

AFTER PLANTING US AND TENDING TO US ALL THESE MONTHS?

IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

All: [ SCREAMING ]

LOOKS LIKE THE VEGETABLE GARDEN GOT THEIR SALAD TOSSED.

THE WARDEN IS UP TO SOMETHING.

WE'D BETTER INVESTIGATE.

HACKING INTO THE MAINFRAME.

ALREADY THERE.

THE WARDEN'S ORDERED BUNNY SUITS FOR ALL THE INMATES.

WHAT AN INGENIOUS PLAN.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN.

DONE.

AND DONE.

Jared: JUST HAVE TO CLICK "BUY IT NOW"

AND THE ORDER WILL BE COMPLETE.

NO!

[ TONE ]

Alice: HERE ARE YOUR NEW UNIFORMS, GIRLS.

WARDEN'S ORDERS.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOTTEN INTO YOU THESE LAST FEW MINUTES?

WOULD YOU REMEMBER TO PUT THE [BLEEP] SEAT DOWN?

WHY?

'CAUSE I ALMOST [BLEEP] FELL IN, THAT'S WHY.

WHO GIVES A [BLEEP] [BLEEP] HUH?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS [BLEEP]

HERE'S YOUR DAMN PROMISE RING BACK!

FINE!

HERE'S YOUR PROMISE SHANK BACK!

All: WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES, WOLVES!

WHOO!

[ HOWLS ]

All: BUNNIES, BUNNIES, BUNNIES, BUNNIES, BUNNIES!

Jared: WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!

I'M GONNA LOSE MY JOB!

IT'S BACK TO THE BOWERY FOR POOR, OLD JARED!

Warden: RELAX, JARED.

Jared: WARDEN, I CAN ASSURE YOU, THIS ISN'T MY FAULT!

IT WAS THE TWINS!

Warden: OH, ISN'T IT WONDERFUL, ALICE?

I SET THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE IN MOTION,

AND TO THE UNTRAINED EYE,

THEY'RE SPINNING WILDLY IN A STATE OF DISARRAY,

YET THEY ARE IN CONTROL -- MY CONTROLLED CHAOS.

Alice: WHATEVER.

Jared: YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ANGRY?

B-B-BUT THE TWINS!

THEY'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!

Warden: RUINED?

THEY'VE COMPLETED MY PLAN!

JAILBOT, TAKE US DOWN.

I WANT TO CONGRATULATE THEM IMMEDIATELY.

BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO.

BRAVO TO YOU.

WE LOVE THE NEW UNIFORMS.

Warden: I THINK YOU BOYS NEED TO STEP IT UP,

BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG SHOW.

Jared: SIR? WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!

Warden: ADIOS, TWINS.

[ HOWLING ] AUDI 5000.

HEY, JANICE, THEY FORGOT TO CRATE UP

THE MEAT DELIVERY AGAIN.

LET'S GET TO IT.

[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]

[ CHAINSAW REVS ]

[ BOWLING PINS RATTLE ]

AHH!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

ROAR!

[ SCREAMS ]

HUH? WHOO-HOO!

Warden: MMM! MMM!

I COULDN'T HAVE PLANNED IT BETTER MYSELF.

Jared: YOU DID PLAN IT, SIR.

Warden: WELL, MY PLAN TASTES GREAT.

I MEAN, IT COULD USE A LITTLE SALT,

BUT OTHERWISE, IT TASTES GREAT.

[ THEME MUSIC ]

[ SCREAMING ]