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[Birds cawing]
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[Wind blowing]
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[Metal creaking]
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[Water dripping]
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[Leaves rustling]
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[Wood creaking]
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[Wheezing]
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Man: It won't be long now.
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She had a tremendous innings.
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At least she's comfortable.
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Man: Yeah. There are worse ways to go.
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Woman: Well, this is it. Man: You're telling me.
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Woman: You can say that again.
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- Right. - Right.
15
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Shh! I think it's happening!
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- Ohh! - Stand by.
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Shh.
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[Gasping]
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Man: I think she's going.
20
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Woman: Oh, I do hope she stays.
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- Tenner says she stays. - Deal.
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Head: I can't see anything. Can you lift me up a bit?
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Err!
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[Thud]
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Oh, not this again.
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Who are you?
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Woman: I am the ghost of your great grandmother.
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Man: We are those poor spirits who dwell on,
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compelled for reasons unknown.
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Eh, she's gone.
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- Ehh. - Bloody cow.
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- Good on her actually. - What's going on?
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All I can see is shoes.
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- You owe me 10. - Oh. No, no. Heh.
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If you listened to what I actually said--
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- Oh, don't you start. - Guys, if you please!
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Perhaps one of us should say a few words.
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Yes. I'll do it. Ahem.
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Bagsy her room.
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- She's only just died. - Oh, come on.
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- Honestly. - Ohh!
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I'll wait till they've taken her away of course.
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She was the last Button of Button House.
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Young man: The final Button died today,
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though where she goes, we cannot say.
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Man: Oh, he's off again.
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Young man: It seems but only yesterday...
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Head: Hey. Come on. Don't go without me, stupid body.
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Her life was 'twas like a play,
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but with no children of her own,
51
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who then will come to call this home?
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Woman: Well, it's bigger than the place we're renting.
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Man: It's slightly overbudget, but, uh...
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Woman: Does it have a garden?
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No, but the downstairs flat's got one you can look at, so...
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- Yeah? - Oh.
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[Cell phone playing ringtone]
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Oh, sorry. One second.
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Hello? Clasey Hughes Estates.
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- Nice view of the street. - Yeah.
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Both: "Buddy's Fish 'n' Pizza."
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Well, we do like both those things.
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Hmm.
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- It's rubbish, isn't it? - Yep.
65
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- It's so bad. - It's awful, and I hate it.
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- Sorry. - Nah. Fair enough.
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I wouldn't want to live here either.
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[Cell phone ringing]
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Woman: Hello? Man: Oh, hello.
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Is that Alison Cooper?
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- Speaking. - I'm calling about a house.
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We're only looking at flats. We can't afford to buy a house.
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Man: No. This one's not for sale.
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Well, then why are you calling?
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God, I hate estate agents.
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Apart from the good ones like you.
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[Cell phone ringing]
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Yep.
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Man: Sorry. I think we've got off on the wrong foot.
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I'm a solicitor at Worthing, Cole, and Simons,
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and I'm calling to inform you that you have, in fact
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inherited a house.
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Hello? Hello?
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That's you in the corner there.
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Alison: So she was, like, my step great auntie.
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There's no real term for what you are,
87
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but she sadly had no direct relatives,
88
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and so you're the only one.
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I feel like I'm in the headmaster's office.
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I--I put a pussy willow in Daniel Bellingham's ear,
91
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and he tried to get it out and just pushed it further in.
92
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Had to go to the doctor's.
93
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It wasn't A&E or anything. It was just--he's fine now.
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He's a pastry chef.
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These look nice. Heh.
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That's potpourri.
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[Crunch]
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- Was she old? - She was 99.
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- Ohh! - Ohh! So close.
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Solicitor: And there she is-- Lady Heather Button.
101
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The Buttons go back a long way.
102
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Lady? Does that mean I'm a lady?
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OK. I know I'm a lady, but, like, a lady lady
104
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like Lady Gaga--no, no.
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Man: It's not this house, is it?
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Solicitor: Uh, as a matter of fact, it is.
107
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Button House.
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- No. - Huh?
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Solicitor: Now obviously, it can take several years
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to find a buyer and close the sale.
111
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Perhaps you want to try luxury hotel chains,
112
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that sort of thing.
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I mean, uh, she lived on her own.
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[Solicitor's voice fades]
115
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What if we keep it?
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Man: Yes. That is a great idea.
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Solicitor: The house is in a state of some disrepair.
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We were looking for a bit of a project anyway,
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and I retiled the bit behind the sink in our last flat,
120
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so, um--
121
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- The splashback. - What's that?
122
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I'm not sure this falls into the category of DIY.
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You should at least have a survey done before you--
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I just feel like it'll be better to keep it in the family.
125
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I think actually that's what she would have wanted.
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Aunt Helen.
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- Heather. - Heather.
128
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And if it can make money for some hotel chain,
129
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then why not make it work for us?
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- We--we could give up our jobs. - Yes.
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- We could do this full-time. - OK. Yes.
132
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Can we keep it if we want to?
133
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Well...it is your house.
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[Clang]
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Sorry.
136
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Oh, look what the cat's dragged in.
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Down here. Yeah. You're warm. Getting warmer.
138
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Yeah. You're boiling.
139
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Yeah. No. Cold! Get--ohh.
140
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Down here! You deaf?
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I've got the ears, haven't I?
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Neanderthal: Uh, little guy.
143
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- Pawn. - Prawn go dooka-dooka.
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- But that's-- - Checkmate.
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Fine. Best of 20.
146
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- Oh, come on. - Oh, gnn, mmm.
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Ideally, you want it about 5--5 potatoes high.
148
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This one's gonna have mud on it,
149
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but you don't have to have mud on it.
150
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This is the tip.
151
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We insert the tip into the split end.
152
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- Split end. - Aha.
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Then repeat the process until you be done.
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Right. Lovely talk of the day from Mary today.
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I think I can safely say if we had any wicker
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or indeed we could touch anything,
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we could all make a pretty rad-looking basket.
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Maybe next week, please, we'd all be very interested
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to hear about the trial, the witch trial. No?
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Too soon. When you're ready.
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Ahem. So tomorrow is food club!
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Military man: Oh, no.
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When Kitty will be telling us
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all about the first time she ate an egg.
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- I actually didn't like it. - All right, Kitty.
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We'll save it for tomorrow, please.
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Give us something look forward to.
168
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And then on Wednesday, Julian has volunteered
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to make a speech.
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Yes, my by-election victory speech, '91.
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Very inspiring, very long,
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and a few smutty jokes to keep it light.
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Poet: Oh, God. Spare me.
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Military man: Right, that's it.
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Pat, sit down.
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Right, AOB? Any other business?
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Well, I have got something actually.
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Now ever since I moved rooms,
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I've been woken every night by you, Fanny, screaming
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like a mad person.
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Well, I don't think I do!
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[Fanny screaming]
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[Thud]
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Kitty: I always thought that was an owl.
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Poet: An owl? Do you know what an owl sounds like?
186
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Well, no, I don't think so.
187
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Military man: It has got to stop!
188
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Look. This is my house, and I shall do what I like.
189
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It was mine first.
190
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No, that's the land, not the house.
191
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[Speaking gibberish]
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Poet: Well, I wish you would all hush.
193
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I cannot do my work with all this agitation.
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Julian: Work? You haven't done a day's work in your life
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or death.
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Kitty: He's an artist. Julian: Pfft!
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Kitty: He's ahead of his time.
198
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Oh, he can't still be ahead of his time, Kitty.
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Guys, please!
200
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Why don't you just go back to your old room in the east wing?
201
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Military man: I don't see why I should.
202
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I wanted the garden view. Now as ranking officer--
203
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Well, The garden view comes with the screaming woman.
204
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You get used to it after 100 years.
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[All talking at once]
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Julian: Let's be serious here.
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Don't you get involved.
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Argh!
209
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Simple. You swap room, eh?
210
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You go up top, you come ground floor,
211
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and no jumpy.
212
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Right.
213
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Well, that would suit me, I think.
214
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Yeah, that could work.
215
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Not just a pretty face.
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Fanny: Well, quite.
217
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[Owl hooting]
218
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Hmm. Yeah. Heh.
219
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Hup. Ahh.
220
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Ahh. Splendid.
221
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[Clock chiming]
222
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Fanny?
223
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I say, Fanny.
224
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George?
225
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Aah!
226
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Oh, for heaven's sake.
227
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Throw yourself out of your own damned window.
228
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Both: ♪ I'm bringing sexy back ♪
229
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- ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Mmm ♪
230
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[Both sing nonsense]
231
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oww ♪
232
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♪ Being so over ♪
233
00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:28,400
- ♪Protective ♪ - ♪ Protective ♪
234
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I always get the timing wrong on that.
235
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Hang on, hang on, hang on.
236
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Alison: ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
237
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I think this is it.
238
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Oh, my God.
239
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- My heart. - Yeah.
240
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It's so strange.
241
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I feel like I know the place already.
242
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This track, every tree.
243
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It's like I've been here my whole life,
244
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like it's...home.
245
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- This is the wrong one. - Yeah.
246
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Military man: This really is beyond the pale.
247
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Fanny: Oh, has it happened again?
248
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You entered my room, you said, "George",
249
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and then threw yourself out of the window.
250
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Well, look, I don't even realize I'm doing it.
251
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Pat: Perhaps there's some deeply buried reason
252
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why you feel like you have to reenact--
253
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Kitty: Maybe try jumping out of the window before bed,
254
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get it out of the way.
255
00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:24,133
No, it's not so much the jumping.
256
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,933
It's the screaming that's annoying.
257
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Julian: Yes, that's a compromise.
258
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Keep the jumping but do it silently.
259
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Mary: Staying hush whilst falling
260
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from a height?
261
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,600
Tush and flops.
262
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:36,500
Look. Perhaps I scream because--
263
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:38,366
and I've never told anyone this, but--
264
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:40,200
Poet: It's quite all right. We shan't pry.
265
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,233
It's just that the night that I actually--
266
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,133
Military man: No, look, no screaming.
267
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,533
That's all I ask. Is that reasonable? Good.
268
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,100
Neanderthal: Oh! Argh! Eeh! Box.
269
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:53,500
Move got wheel. Rrrnn rrrnn.
270
00:11:53,566 --> 00:11:56,033
Military man: It's a motor car. Neanderthal: Car!
271
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,000
Pat: Wow. It's like a blooming spaceship.
272
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,533
Poet: Poor creatures must be lost.
273
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,466
Kim Wilde: ♪ We're the kids in America ♪
274
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:04,766
♪ Whoa, oh ♪
275
00:12:04,833 --> 00:12:05,766
♪ We're in the kids in America ♪
276
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,733
Pat: It's Kim Wilde.
277
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,000
Poet: Let me pluck out my eyes, for never will I see
278
00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:13,100
such beauty again.
279
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:17,366
Yes, he'd make a very fine soldier.
280
00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:18,900
Ahem.
281
00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:27,066
Wow.
282
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:28,833
Shall we, Lady Alison?
283
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,266
Alison: Ha ha ha!
284
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,700
Ohh!
285
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:44,100
Oh! Oh, Mike.
286
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:48,833
Mike: This is 100% the most incredible moment of my life,
287
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,666
apart from our wedding.
288
00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,466
And it's all ours.
289
00:12:52,533 --> 00:12:54,366
Fanny: What did that girl just say?
290
00:12:54,433 --> 00:12:56,366
Kitty: She must be related to you
291
00:12:56,433 --> 00:13:00,600
like a niece, a great, great, great--
292
00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:03,100
Fanny: No, no, no, no. She's no niece of mine.
293
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,133
Look at her. She's exposing her knees,
294
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,800
and she's got a tattoo.
295
00:13:06,866 --> 00:13:08,500
So this is the library.
296
00:13:08,566 --> 00:13:09,900
Mike: Does that mean we have to start reading books?
297
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,933
Military man: Philistine.
298
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,433
Pat: It'll be nice to have some new faces around.
299
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,200
Julian: There's enough faces already.
300
00:13:15,266 --> 00:13:16,633
Alison: We have to fix up all the plasterwork.
301
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:21,333
- But need fix architrave. - Oh, yeah.
302
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,633
Alison: We could do every room in a different style.
303
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,833
Mike: Great idea.
304
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:24,833
Fanny: Over my dead body!
305
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,666
- Wait. - I know.
306
00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:27,866
Ye olde worlde.
307
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,466
[Ghosts groan]
308
00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:30,766
1950s.
309
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,066
[Ghosts groan]
310
00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:34,666
Club Tropicana.
311
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:36,333
Julian: That's fun.
312
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,433
- Wow. - Unbelievable.
313
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:39,833
Pat: Well, they seem really nice.
314
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,633
Let's give them a chance.
315
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,433
Alison: Look at that.
316
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,066
Mike: What is that? Alison: Is that a lake?
317
00:13:45,133 --> 00:13:46,933
Mary: I hate it when that happens.
318
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,533
It's a lake.
319
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,666
Kitty: Well, there's only two of them.
320
00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,466
Still plenty of room for us.
321
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,000
Mike: This is going to make one incredible hotel.
322
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,466
[Ghosts gasp]
323
00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:58,266
What is hotel?
324
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:01,066
Well, Robin, a hotel is...
325
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,933
- Kill them. - I quite agree
326
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,566
if we all approve the use of force to enable them
327
00:14:05,633 --> 00:14:07,566
to, you know, not live anymore.
328
00:14:07,633 --> 00:14:10,166
Fanny: Out of the question. That's completely immoral.
329
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:11,800
Kitty: And it's wrong. Military man: And if we do kill
330
00:14:11,866 --> 00:14:13,166
them, we could be stuck with them forever.
331
00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,133
Would that so bad?
332
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,633
She's married, Thomas. Look at them.
333
00:14:16,700 --> 00:14:19,233
Why must I always be spurned?
334
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,833
Pat: Couldn't we all just live in the gatehouse?
335
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,433
- I'd rather kill them. - Kill them.
336
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,300
Julian: Hear, hear. Kitty: But that's a crime.
337
00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:26,400
[Clock chimes]
338
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:27,466
We'll hang.
339
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,433
[Fanny screams]
340
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,633
[Thud]
341
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,233
Damn it, Fanny!
342
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,866
Pat: We could always try...
343
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,333
haunting.
344
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,600
We're ghosts.
345
00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,266
[Ghosts murmuring]
346
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,133
Your tea, m'lady.
347
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,466
Thank you, Jeeves.
348
00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,366
- Taste all right? - Why?
349
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:52,900
I couldn't get any water in the kitchen,
350
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,600
and I couldn't find the other kitchen,
351
00:14:54,666 --> 00:14:56,366
so I ended up using the garden tap,
352
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,000
and then there's no electric in the kitchen,
353
00:14:58,066 --> 00:14:59,400
so I found a plug that worked in the library.
354
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,666
I don't know if the water's drinkable,
355
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:01,833
but I boiled it twice.
356
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,500
[Pigeon cooing]
357
00:15:03,566 --> 00:15:04,766
I love the sound of the country.
358
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:05,933
[Wings flapping]
359
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,433
It's in the room.
360
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,933
Oh, yeah.
361
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,700
It must be nesting somewhere.
362
00:15:10,766 --> 00:15:14,400
Right. What's first? The pipes? Electrics?
363
00:15:14,466 --> 00:15:15,933
Probably get the bird out the room.
364
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,566
Yeah. Come on then.
365
00:15:18,633 --> 00:15:19,533
Pigeon, pigeon, pigeon.
366
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,400
Gah! Agh!
367
00:15:21,466 --> 00:15:22,966
Military man: Now, then. Let's have a look at some
368
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:25,000
of the skills at our disposal, shall we?
369
00:15:25,066 --> 00:15:27,166
Now, we all know that Robin can do that thing with the lights.
370
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,700
- Will you please, Robin? - Oh, yeah.
371
00:15:29,766 --> 00:15:31,833
[Grunting]
372
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:35,133
[Electricity crackling]
373
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,366
[Ghosts laughing]
374
00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:37,633
- Very good. - Excellent.
375
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,533
Yes, Mary.
376
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,366
When I pass through the livings, they smells burnings.
377
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:43,133
Excellent. None of those are plural, but--
378
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,566
'Tis a most noxious stinks, though.
379
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:47,900
Thomas: When I was alive...
380
00:15:47,966 --> 00:15:49,366
Oh, here he goes.
381
00:15:49,433 --> 00:15:52,000
It was rumored a little plague girl
382
00:15:52,066 --> 00:15:56,233
could oft be heard singing in the pantry.
383
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,666
Girl: ♪ Ring a ring o' roses ♪
384
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:03,800
♪ A pocketful of posies ♪
385
00:16:03,866 --> 00:16:06,900
♪ A-tishoo A-tishoo ♪
386
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,033
♪ We all fall down ♪
387
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,433
People find it scary apparently.
388
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,866
Pat: Ha ha ha!
389
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:18,066
Can't think why. Gah.
390
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,566
Military man: Ahem. Finally, we're all aware of Julian's
391
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:20,900
extraordinary powers.
392
00:16:20,966 --> 00:16:22,700
Julian: Oh, please. No, no.
393
00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:25,333
[All talking at once]
394
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,800
All right, all right, all right, all right.
395
00:16:26,866 --> 00:16:28,533
All right. Just I need a little bit--
396
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,966
here we go. OK. Ahem.
397
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,133
Watch this. Shh, shh, shh.
398
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,200
OK.
399
00:16:33,266 --> 00:16:34,400
Ohh.
400
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:36,266
Hold on.
401
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,900
Shree!
402
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,433
Heh heh heh.
403
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,933
Aah! Argh! Here we go.
404
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:45,766
Unh.
405
00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:48,166
[Groaning]
406
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:52,300
[Ghosts cheering]
407
00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:54,066
- Extraordinary! - I've only tried it on cups,
408
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:55,633
but, you know.
409
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,300
Excellent.
410
00:16:57,366 --> 00:16:59,900
Well, with my leadership and your skills, ah,
411
00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:02,000
I believe we have everything we need
412
00:17:02,066 --> 00:17:04,166
to scare them out of their wits.
413
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:05,933
Alison: Aah!
414
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,533
The water's gone cold! It's so--it's so cold!
415
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,833
Mike.
416
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,066
Thomas: Oh, God.
417
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:14,266
- Thomas? - Ohh? I wasn't looking,
418
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,500
and anyway, I couldn't see anything, so...
419
00:17:16,566 --> 00:17:19,900
Right, mate. Is she coming out?
420
00:17:19,966 --> 00:17:23,466
- Yes, I think she is. - She's coming out!
421
00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:26,100
Stand to, everybody. Prepare for action.
422
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:27,566
Kitty: Good luck, everyone,
423
00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:29,600
and remember, as long as you do your best...
424
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,166
- Finished? - Yes.
425
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:38,466
Hot water's stopped.
426
00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,666
Go for Robin.
427
00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,333
[Robin grunting]
428
00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:48,266
Ohh! Aah!
429
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,533
Military man: Man down.
430
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,533
Right, cue Jemima.
431
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,033
♪ Ring a ring o'♪
432
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,966
[Music playing loudly]
433
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:56,966
Mike: Yes! Got the speakers hooked up.
434
00:17:57,033 --> 00:17:58,500
Alison: Well, that's the main thing.
435
00:17:58,566 --> 00:18:00,266
Yes, please, Mary.
436
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,666
Mary: Unh!
437
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:02,733
I think your toast is burning.
438
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,433
Military man: Damn it!
439
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,500
All on you now, Julian. Go for it, man!
440
00:18:06,566 --> 00:18:08,433
Push it! Come on! Push it!
441
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,600
Julian: Aagh!
442
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:11,266
[No ghost sounds]
443
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:13,733
- Ooh! - Push it!
444
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,966
[No ghost sounds]
445
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:16,966
Julian: Aagh!
446
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:18,066
[No ghost sounds]
447
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,500
Ohh!
448
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,266
[No ghost sounds, squeak]
449
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,633
- Ahh. - Damn it!
450
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,366
Julian: You know, it's much bigger than a cup, so--ahh.
451
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:29,166
Haunting's hard, isn't it?
452
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,733
Head: So how did it go? Guys?
453
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,966
Mike: Right. Well, I think the boiler is in...
454
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,900
[Door creaking]
455
00:18:40,966 --> 00:18:42,566
there?
456
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:47,866
[Light switch clicking]
457
00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:51,133
After you.
458
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,333
Alison: Oh.
459
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,633
Sing something, make this less scary.
460
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:24,900
Mike: ♪ Don't be scared, don't be scared ♪
461
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,800
♪ I'm not scared ♪
462
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,133
Alison: OK. You're making it worse.
463
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,833
Mike: There's another switch here.
464
00:19:35,666 --> 00:19:37,800
I can fix this.
465
00:19:37,866 --> 00:19:39,900
Alison: What? Are you joking?
466
00:19:39,966 --> 00:19:42,200
- Who are they? - I don't know.
467
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,700
Mike: I'll look it up on YouTube.
468
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:44,766
Alison: Mike, not everything can be learned
469
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,000
from a YouTube tutorial.
470
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:47,633
Mike: You'd be surprised.
471
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:49,600
I found a guide on how to tame an eagle.
472
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:50,666
Alison: Yeah, but that's not-- what, an actual eagle?
473
00:19:50,733 --> 00:19:51,633
- Mm-hmm. - Why would you need
474
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,000
to know that?
475
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:54,400
Don't know. Cool, though.
476
00:19:54,466 --> 00:19:55,900
Alison: So cool.
477
00:19:55,966 --> 00:19:57,966
- Um. - Oi. Don't fiddle with that.
478
00:19:58,033 --> 00:19:59,566
Do you even know what that does?
479
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,466
Yeah, it's a thing for the thingy bob.
480
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,466
Ghosts: It's the valve for the filling loop.
481
00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:07,133
- Hey! - Whoo!
482
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,733
Fixed it.
483
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,300
No, you haven't. It's just the pilot light.
484
00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:11,666
Alison: Do you think we need a new one?
485
00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:12,800
Man: What, and get rid of old Betsy?
486
00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:14,666
Different man: No, no.
487
00:20:14,733 --> 00:20:16,400
Mike: Let's see what the surveyor says next week.
488
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,566
- OK. - Eeh.
489
00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:20,900
Mike: Ready?
490
00:20:20,966 --> 00:20:21,933
Woman: What for? Man: I'm ready.
491
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,433
Alison: Ready.
492
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,133
[Ghosts groaning]
493
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,666
Man: I wasn't ready.
494
00:20:26,733 --> 00:20:28,366
Woman: Well, that was nice, anyway.
495
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:30,400
Man: Yeah, come back soo-- oh, they can't
496
00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:32,233
hear me, can they?
497
00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:39,433
Mike: They're not warming up down here.
498
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,633
How's yours?
499
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,366
Give me a sec.
500
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,166
[Pigeon cooing]
501
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:56,133
There you are.
502
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,133
Julian: Hello.
503
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,700
Thomas: We'll be overrun with people
504
00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:08,966
taunting us with their life.
505
00:21:09,033 --> 00:21:11,133
Pat: No, we'll just try again.
506
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,533
If at first you don't succeed--
507
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,600
Military man: Precisely. That's right.
508
00:21:15,666 --> 00:21:17,966
We must prepare another charge.
509
00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:19,800
Hit them when they're vulnerable.
510
00:21:19,866 --> 00:21:22,433
We may have lost the battle, but the war is far from over.
511
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:33,833
Alison: Aah!
512
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,000
[Thud]
513
00:21:35,066 --> 00:21:36,433
Fanny's early.
514
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:37,833
- Uh, I'm right here. - What?
515
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:41,200
Egh, ugh. It's Kim Wilde!
516
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:44,666
Mike: Alison! Alison! Alison.
517
00:21:44,733 --> 00:21:47,300
[Voice muffled]
518
00:21:47,366 --> 00:21:49,600
OK. I can see-- look at me. Look at me.
519
00:21:49,666 --> 00:21:53,333
Alison, can you hear me? Alison, I'm here.
520
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,000
Can you hear me? Yeah? Stay with me.
521
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:58,100
Keep your eyes open. Alison, I'm here.
522
00:21:58,166 --> 00:21:59,966
[Siren]
523
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,700
[Julian stammering]
524
00:22:11,766 --> 00:22:13,466
Let me be absolutely clear.
525
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,333
Did you push her?
526
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,333
Well, Now, the thing you have to understand is this.
527
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,533
Pat: I'm sorry, but it's rather a yes or no question, Julian.
528
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,966
Julian: Pat, pat, pat...
529
00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:21,566
I took a decision to--to--
530
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,500
Robin: Pushy or no pushy?
531
00:22:23,566 --> 00:22:25,166
You know, Robin, let me ask you this.
532
00:22:25,233 --> 00:22:26,866
You know, what was the context?
533
00:22:26,933 --> 00:22:28,766
Answer the question, damn your eyes!
534
00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:31,133
Due respect, Thomas, I'm trying to answer the question
535
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,100
if you'll let me finish.
536
00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:34,100
Military man: Now, look here. A sacrifice was made
537
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:35,600
for the greater good.
538
00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:37,533
We wanted her out of the house, didn't we?
539
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,200
Now this has either killed her or scared her off.
540
00:22:39,266 --> 00:22:42,966
Fanny: You don't just do that to someone.
541
00:22:43,033 --> 00:22:46,633
What kind of coward would push a lady out of the window?
542
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,433
Military man: Now, steady on, Fanny.
543
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,333
Fanny: No. No, I won't because I was pushed.
544
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,833
You hear me? I was pushed,
545
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:56,200
and I have never told a soul.
546
00:22:56,266 --> 00:22:59,100
It was my husband George.
547
00:22:59,166 --> 00:23:02,700
I caught him upon the groundskeeper...
548
00:23:02,766 --> 00:23:03,933
Military man: Good lord.
549
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,700
with the butler on him.
550
00:23:05,766 --> 00:23:08,133
- Like a sandwich? - A manwich.
551
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:09,933
Julian: It's actually known as a Moroccan tea party.
552
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,366
Pat: Guys!
553
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:12,833
Fanny: Clearly, he didn't trust me
554
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:14,733
with his sordid little secret,
555
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,000
so he just did away with me,
556
00:23:17,066 --> 00:23:18,666
but he was wrong, wasn't he?
557
00:23:18,733 --> 00:23:20,200
He was very wrong.
558
00:23:20,266 --> 00:23:21,833
Because I have kept it, haven't I?
559
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,300
[Ghosts murmuring]
560
00:23:23,366 --> 00:23:25,866
Until now. Until now.
561
00:23:25,933 --> 00:23:28,433
I mean, I did know that. I watched all of that.
562
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:30,100
Kitty: So did I. Robin: Yeah, yeah.
563
00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:31,533
Julian: I wish I had watched it.
564
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,366
Pat: Well, Fanny...
565
00:23:34,433 --> 00:23:36,733
that must have been a terrible burden to bear
566
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,300
for all those years.
567
00:23:38,366 --> 00:23:41,733
Perhaps now that you've shared it,
568
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,966
you'll be free of your nightly terrors.
569
00:23:44,033 --> 00:23:46,833
Oh, do you suppose so?
570
00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:48,633
I'm sure of it.
571
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:49,966
Ohh.
572
00:23:50,033 --> 00:23:51,400
[Clock chiming]
573
00:23:51,466 --> 00:23:52,800
Fanny: Aah!
574
00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:54,233
[Thud]
575
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,333
Military man: Fanny!
576
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,866
You see, Pat? What did I tell you?
577
00:23:58,933 --> 00:24:01,166
That's where talking gets you. Nowhere!
578
00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:03,133
It was silly of me to suggest it really.
579
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,566
Lesson learnt. What shall we do?
580
00:24:05,633 --> 00:24:07,600
I don't know. I'm not going to spend eternity
581
00:24:07,666 --> 00:24:09,966
listening to that racket at the same time every night.
582
00:24:16,533 --> 00:24:18,466
- It's worth a try. - Ah.
583
00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:19,866
[Julian grunting]
584
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,300
[Clock chiming]
585
00:24:29,366 --> 00:24:31,266
Fanny: Aah!
586
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:32,833
[Thud]
587
00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:35,733
Military man: Ahh. Much better. Morning.
588
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,100
Robin: Mornings. Kitty: Good morning.
589
00:24:37,166 --> 00:24:38,600
Mary: Good day.
590
00:24:38,666 --> 00:24:40,366
Military man: Finally.
591
00:24:40,433 --> 00:24:41,866
Things can get back to normal around here.
592
00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:57,266
[Toilet flushes]
593
00:24:57,333 --> 00:24:59,100
Shift over.
594
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:02,033
Can't I lie down? I'm so tired.
595
00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:04,100
- Poor you. - It's all right for you.
596
00:25:04,166 --> 00:25:05,766
You've been asleep for two weeks.
597
00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:08,733
- Ohh. It's called a coma. - Induced coma.
598
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,333
Oh.
599
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,466
- You all right? - Yeah.
600
00:25:14,533 --> 00:25:17,200
I'm glad you didn't die.
601
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:22,366
Well, technically, I did for a bit.
602
00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:25,266
Did I dream that house?
603
00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:29,000
I feel like I dreamt it all.
604
00:25:29,066 --> 00:25:32,633
Oh. Have you had the survey back?
605
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:35,300
No. No, not yet.
606
00:25:35,366 --> 00:25:36,833
Hmm.
607
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:42,533
Mary: Now, have her face the right way.
608
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,966
You want the end with the milk there,
609
00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:48,133
not the end for looking and chewing out of.
610
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,433
You want to take this finger and this finger
611
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,433
gently but quickly,
612
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,866
and that releases a big squirt of the stuff.
613
00:25:55,933 --> 00:25:58,400
- Good Lord. - Chuck some of the muck out
614
00:25:58,466 --> 00:26:00,400
so you can check then if the milk be smooth and white,
615
00:26:00,466 --> 00:26:01,866
not beige and lumpy.
616
00:26:03,566 --> 00:26:05,633
Oh, my goodness. They're coming back!
617
00:26:05,700 --> 00:26:08,000
Fanny: What?
618
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,300
Mike: Right, so you know how I said the survey
619
00:26:10,366 --> 00:26:12,100
hadn't come back?
620
00:26:12,166 --> 00:26:15,033
Oh, God. And what did it say?
621
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,066
Julian: How does she seem? Is she OK?
622
00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:19,566
I don't know. They're not getting out of the carriage.
623
00:26:19,633 --> 00:26:21,533
Well, there's good news and bad news.
624
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,100
OK, OK, OK.
625
00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,200
Well, uh, give me the good news--
626
00:26:25,266 --> 00:26:27,133
The bad news is that the repairs are extensive,
627
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,166
like, big structural stuff, plumbing, electrics.
628
00:26:30,233 --> 00:26:31,833
Can't even begin to renovate this place
629
00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:35,633
without a huge amount of cash to do those things.
630
00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:36,966
- OK. Yeah. - So, the good news is
631
00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:38,466
I took out a loan!
632
00:26:38,533 --> 00:26:39,900
- What? - Yeah. I took out a loan.
633
00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:42,100
Some loans. Paid some deposits.
634
00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:43,766
W-w-why didn't you tell me?
635
00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:45,700
Because I didn't want you to worry.
636
00:26:45,766 --> 00:26:47,900
This is your dream, right?
637
00:26:47,966 --> 00:26:50,100
I'm going to do everything I can to make it come true.
638
00:26:50,166 --> 00:26:52,200
[Horn honks]
639
00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:54,633
Oh, they're already here. Come on then.
640
00:26:57,966 --> 00:26:59,933
- Hey. - All right, mate.
641
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,566
- How you doing? - Terry.
642
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,833
Terry: So we're going to inspect the site, make it safe.
643
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:10,400
Everyone has to wear one of these for now.
644
00:27:10,466 --> 00:27:15,266
Insurance reasons mainly, but, well, you just should.
645
00:27:15,333 --> 00:27:18,533
Mike: Cool. Terry: Cracking on then.
646
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,166
Mike: Exciting, isn't it, huh?
647
00:27:20,233 --> 00:27:21,466
Why don't you go have a lie down,
648
00:27:21,533 --> 00:27:22,866
and I'll grab your bags, yeah?
649
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,433
You should be wearing a hard hat.
650
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:39,233
Fanny: Button House reduced to a tawdry boarding house.
651
00:27:39,300 --> 00:27:41,000
What will become of us?
652
00:27:41,066 --> 00:27:43,400
Julian: Oh, she spoke to me, she spoke to me,
653
00:27:43,466 --> 00:27:44,900
she saw me, she spoke to me.
654
00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,066
Thomas: What? Military man: What the devil
655
00:27:46,133 --> 00:27:47,300
are you talking about?
656
00:27:50,766 --> 00:27:52,466
Mike: Oh, there you are.
657
00:27:52,533 --> 00:27:55,366
I thought you were getting some rest.
658
00:27:55,433 --> 00:27:57,300
No turning back now.
659
00:27:57,366 --> 00:27:59,366
- What if we made a mistake? - What?
660
00:27:59,433 --> 00:28:01,933
What if this was a bad idea and we should have just sold it?
661
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,900
Don't say that. This is a great idea.
662
00:28:03,966 --> 00:28:04,900
It's going to take a lot of work,
663
00:28:04,966 --> 00:28:08,033
but we can do it.
664
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:09,700
- Mike? - You're terrified,
665
00:28:09,766 --> 00:28:11,000
and I get it.
666
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:13,266
Alison: Mike.
667
00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:15,966
Mike: I get it. I'm scared, too.
668
00:28:16,033 --> 00:28:18,966
This house and what we're doing, it's a huge challenge,
669
00:28:19,033 --> 00:28:20,266
and who knows what we're going to have to deal with
670
00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:22,133
on the way, but in the end,
671
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,666
we've got each other.
672
00:28:23,733 --> 00:28:25,300
It's just us in this big old house.
673
00:28:25,366 --> 00:28:27,833
There's nothing to be scared of, is there?
674
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:30,166
[Robin grunts]
675
00:28:30,233 --> 00:28:31,866
Ohh! Aa--
46700
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