Original subtitles

Let's start with the latest update on

Let's start with the latest update on

Let's start with the latest update on the war in Iran, which is that there is

the war in Iran, which is that there is

the war in Iran, which is that there is no update. It's still happening. You

no update. It's still happening. You

no update. It's still happening. You know, I'm starting to get worried about

know, I'm starting to get worried about

know, I'm starting to get worried about my river cruise this summer up the

my river cruise this summer up the

my river cruise this summer up the straight of her moves.

straight of her moves.

straight of her moves. Man, I booked a balcony room, too. But

Man, I booked a balcony room, too. But

Man, I booked a balcony room, too. But don't worry, because Donald Trump is

don't worry, because Donald Trump is

don't worry, because Donald Trump is doing everything he can to wrap it up.

doing everything he can to wrap it up.

doing everything he can to wrap it up. >> We're having talks with him now. And

>> We're having talks with him now. And

>> We're having talks with him now. And we're not flying anymore with 18-hour

we're not flying anymore with 18-hour

we're not flying anymore with 18-hour flights every time we want to see a

flights every time we want to see a

flights every time we want to see a piece of paper. We're doing it

piece of paper. We're doing it

piece of paper. We're doing it telephonically.

telephonically.

telephonically. And it's very nice

>> telephonically.

>> telephonically.

>> telephonically. Damn, that's an impressive word. Yo,

Damn, that's an impressive word. Yo,

Damn, that's an impressive word. Yo, makes anyone with a phone sound like a

makes anyone with a phone sound like a

makes anyone with a phone sound like a wizard.

wizard.

wizard. I order large meat lovers

I order large meat lovers

I order large meat lovers telephonically.

Now, to be clear, that is a word, but he

Now, to be clear, that is a word, but he

Now, to be clear, that is a word, but he didn't know that.

didn't know that.

didn't know that. He talks the way I play Scrabble, you

He talks the way I play Scrabble, you

He talks the way I play Scrabble, you know, just like, "Oh, wow." Uh, I was

know, just like, "Oh, wow." Uh, I was

know, just like, "Oh, wow." Uh, I was just throwing letters together. How How

just throwing letters together. How How

just throwing letters together. How How many points is that?

many points is that?

many points is that? That was from yesterday during an event

That was from yesterday during an event

That was from yesterday during an event Trump did with the Aremis astronauts and

Trump did with the Aremis astronauts and

Trump did with the Aremis astronauts and the chief of NASA. And we all know Trump

the chief of NASA. And we all know Trump

the chief of NASA. And we all know Trump loves space, so he has the utmost

loves space, so he has the utmost

loves space, so he has the utmost respect for these professionals.

respect for these professionals.

respect for these professionals. >> Sorry. Are you considering relocating

>> Sorry. Are you considering relocating

>> Sorry. Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters out of DC once the

NASA's headquarters out of DC once the

NASA's headquarters out of DC once the lease is up to states like Texas, Ohio,

lease is up to states like Texas, Ohio,

lease is up to states like Texas, Ohio, and Florida? Well, the best man to tell

and Florida? Well, the best man to tell

and Florida? Well, the best man to tell you that is a man standing right over

you that is a man standing right over

you that is a man standing right over here. You heard that question with those

here. You heard that question with those

here. You heard that question with those beautiful ears of yours? He's He's got

beautiful ears of yours? He's He's got

beautiful ears of yours? He's He's got great hearing, you know. Super He's got

great hearing, you know. Super He's got

great hearing, you know. Super He's got superhero.

superhero.

superhero. >> Trick of the trade, sir.

>> Wow.

>> Wow.

>> Wow. He's just standing there like, "Good

He's just standing there like, "Good

He's just standing there like, "Good one, sir. Uh,

one, sir. Uh,

one, sir. Uh, haven't heard that since grade school

haven't heard that since grade school

haven't heard that since grade school and uh I didn't think I'd hear it again,

and uh I didn't think I'd hear it again,

and uh I didn't think I'd hear it again, but I did in my 40s

but I did in my 40s

but I did in my 40s from the president.

from the president.

from the president. Trump just can't resist being a bully.

Trump just can't resist being a bully.

Trump just can't resist being a bully. He's sitting there like, "Hey, they say

He's sitting there like, "Hey, they say

He's sitting there like, "Hey, they say in space no one can hear you scream

in space no one can hear you scream

in space no one can hear you scream except for this guy, right? He can

except for this guy, right? He can

except for this guy, right? He can definitely hear it. Am I right? Am I

definitely hear it. Am I right? Am I

definitely hear it. Am I right? Am I right?"

right?"

right?" And by the way, these astronauts do not

And by the way, these astronauts do not

And by the way, these astronauts do not look happy to be there. They're like,

look happy to be there. They're like,

look happy to be there. They're like, "This is the most uncomfortable I've

"This is the most uncomfortable I've

"This is the most uncomfortable I've ever felt." And two weeks ago, I was

ever felt." And two weeks ago, I was

ever felt." And two weeks ago, I was pooping in zero gravity.

pooping in zero gravity.

pooping in zero gravity. But let's move on because while Trump

But let's move on because while Trump

But let's move on because while Trump was earshaming astronauts, the Supreme

was earshaming astronauts, the Supreme

was earshaming astronauts, the Supreme Court was busy at work.

Court was busy at work.

Court was busy at work. >> This morning, the Supreme Court

>> This morning, the Supreme Court

>> This morning, the Supreme Court delivering a major blow to the landmark

delivering a major blow to the landmark

delivering a major blow to the landmark Voting Rights Act. The court's

Voting Rights Act. The court's

Voting Rights Act. The court's conservative majority ruling 6 to3 that

conservative majority ruling 6 to3 that

conservative majority ruling 6 to3 that Louisiana's current congressional map

Louisiana's current congressional map

Louisiana's current congressional map with two majority African-American

with two majority African-American

with two majority African-American districts is unconstitutional, saying

districts is unconstitutional, saying

districts is unconstitutional, saying lawmakers allowed race to play a part in

lawmakers allowed race to play a part in

lawmakers allowed race to play a part in government decision-making. Democrats

government decision-making. Democrats

government decision-making. Democrats blasting the ruling, arguing that other

blasting the ruling, arguing that other

blasting the ruling, arguing that other majority black districts are now

majority black districts are now

majority black districts are now vulnerable to being erased.

vulnerable to being erased.

vulnerable to being erased. >> That's right. The Supreme Court saw that

>> That's right. The Supreme Court saw that

>> That's right. The Supreme Court saw that Louisiana had two whole black

Louisiana had two whole black

Louisiana had two whole black congressmen and they were like, "Whoa,

congressmen and they were like, "Whoa,

congressmen and they were like, "Whoa, what is this? Showtime at the Apollo.

what is this? Showtime at the Apollo.

what is this? Showtime at the Apollo. Let's dial this back. But now, thanks to

Let's dial this back. But now, thanks to

Let's dial this back. But now, thanks to the Supreme Court, black districts are

the Supreme Court, black districts are

the Supreme Court, black districts are going to get erased all across the

going to get erased all across the

going to get erased all across the South, which is horrible for civil

South, which is horrible for civil

South, which is horrible for civil rights, but pretty great for all the new

rights, but pretty great for all the new

rights, but pretty great for all the new civil rights movies we're going to be

civil rights movies we're going to be

civil rights movies we're going to be making, you know? So, this is fantastic

making, you know? So, this is fantastic

making, you know? So, this is fantastic from like a Denzel only perspective.

from like a Denzel only perspective.

from like a Denzel only perspective. And obviously, the Supreme Court didn't

And obviously, the Supreme Court didn't

And obviously, the Supreme Court didn't come right out and say that states can

come right out and say that states can

come right out and say that states can be racist. Justice Palpatine isn't that

be racist. Justice Palpatine isn't that

be racist. Justice Palpatine isn't that dumb. All right. He played it much

dumb. All right. He played it much

dumb. All right. He played it much smoother.

smoother.

smoother. >> Just as Samuel Leo writing, "Race can

>> Just as Samuel Leo writing, "Race can

>> Just as Samuel Leo writing, "Race can only be taken into account when there's

only be taken into account when there's

only be taken into account when there's evidence that a state intentionally drew

evidence that a state intentionally drew

evidence that a state intentionally drew its districts to afford minority voters

its districts to afford minority voters

its districts to afford minority voters less opportunity because of their race."

less opportunity because of their race."

less opportunity because of their race." >> That's crazy. All right, so just to be

>> That's crazy. All right, so just to be

>> That's crazy. All right, so just to be clear for Alto, the map is not racist

clear for Alto, the map is not racist

clear for Alto, the map is not racist unless the guy drawing it finishes it

unless the guy drawing it finishes it

unless the guy drawing it finishes it and goes, "Man, I'm racist."

Now, if you're watching this whole thing

Now, if you're watching this whole thing

Now, if you're watching this whole thing unfold and you're thinking to yourself,

unfold and you're thinking to yourself,

unfold and you're thinking to yourself, "This seems pretty racist." Republicans

"This seems pretty racist." Republicans

"This seems pretty racist." Republicans have great news for you.

have great news for you.

have great news for you. >> I think after 160 years of after the

>> I think after 160 years of after the

>> I think after 160 years of after the Civil War, it's time that we didn't have

Civil War, it's time that we didn't have

Civil War, it's time that we didn't have a race-based reason for doing things.

a race-based reason for doing things.

a race-based reason for doing things. >> In 2026 in the United States, the

>> In 2026 in the United States, the

>> In 2026 in the United States, the reasons to use race for line drawing

reasons to use race for line drawing

reasons to use race for line drawing deliberately that occurred to remedy

deliberately that occurred to remedy

deliberately that occurred to remedy discrimination in the South 50 years ago

discrimination in the South 50 years ago

discrimination in the South 50 years ago no longer exist in America. The court

no longer exist in America. The court

no longer exist in America. The court said you have to have modern examples of

said you have to have modern examples of

said you have to have modern examples of how voters have been racially

how voters have been racially

how voters have been racially discriminated against. And fortunately,

discriminated against. And fortunately,

discriminated against. And fortunately, America has come a long way since the

America has come a long way since the

America has come a long way since the 1960s. It has. Fortunately, it's the end

1960s. It has. Fortunately, it's the end

1960s. It has. Fortunately, it's the end of pretending that this is a racist

of pretending that this is a racist

of pretending that this is a racist country.

Racism's over.

Oh boy, I can finally use my real voice.

What's up, dog?

>> I just thought when racism would be

>> I just thought when racism would be

>> I just thought when racism would be over, we'd hear about it from like a

over, we'd hear about it from like a

over, we'd hear about it from like a civil rights leader or something. Not a

civil rights leader or something. Not a

civil rights leader or something. Not a not a guy who looks like a racist

not a guy who looks like a racist

not a guy who looks like a racist version of the dad from Modern Family.

version of the dad from Modern Family.

version of the dad from Modern Family. It almost feels like we're going in

It almost feels like we're going in

It almost feels like we're going in reverse because the people from the 60s

reverse because the people from the 60s

reverse because the people from the 60s in black and white TV were like, "Wow,

in black and white TV were like, "Wow,

in black and white TV were like, "Wow, this country is being pretty racist. We

this country is being pretty racist. We

this country is being pretty racist. We should pass some legislation." And the

should pass some legislation." And the

should pass some legislation." And the people crippling that legislation are

people crippling that legislation are

people crippling that legislation are from now in 4K. Just so we're all aware,

from now in 4K. Just so we're all aware,

from now in 4K. Just so we're all aware, newscasters who would do reports like

newscasters who would do reports like

newscasters who would do reports like that Jackie Robinson is the best colored

that Jackie Robinson is the best colored

that Jackie Robinson is the best colored player in the Negro League believed in

player in the Negro League believed in

player in the Negro League believed in voting rights more than our

voting rights more than our

voting rights more than our representatives now. What these people

representatives now. What these people

representatives now. What these people don't get is that to the extent that

don't get is that to the extent that

don't get is that to the extent that there's less discrimination now, it's

there's less discrimination now, it's

there's less discrimination now, it's partly because we had the VRA. So this

partly because we had the VRA. So this

partly because we had the VRA. So this is like my uncle who threw away his

is like my uncle who threw away his

is like my uncle who threw away his medication because he said his heart

medication because he said his heart

medication because he said his heart wasn't bothering him anymore.

wasn't bothering him anymore.

wasn't bothering him anymore. And to be fair, he did stop having heart

And to be fair, he did stop having heart

And to be fair, he did stop having heart problems because he's dead.

And one of the most brainbreaking things

And one of the most brainbreaking things

And one of the most brainbreaking things about this ruling is it's literally

about this ruling is it's literally

about this ruling is it's literally taking power from black people in the

taking power from black people in the

taking power from black people in the South. And it was voted for by a black

South. And it was voted for by a black

South. And it was voted for by a black guy from the South. Supreme Court

guy from the South. Supreme Court

guy from the South. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is black. He

Justice Clarence Thomas is black. He

Justice Clarence Thomas is black. He might not know it, but he is black.

might not know it, but he is black.

might not know it, but he is black. How could you of all people vote for

How could you of all people vote for

How could you of all people vote for this Clarence? You were like an uncle to

this Clarence? You were like an uncle to

this Clarence? You were like an uncle to all of us. Uncle Clarence Thomas.

all of us. Uncle Clarence Thomas.

all of us. Uncle Clarence Thomas. Uncle Thomas for short.

Uncle Thomas for short.

Uncle Thomas for short. Uncle Tom for shorter.

But look, we don't have to pretend here.

But look, we don't have to pretend here.

But look, we don't have to pretend here. At the end of the day, we all know that

At the end of the day, we all know that

At the end of the day, we all know that this decision was not about moving on

this decision was not about moving on

this decision was not about moving on from race. This is the Supreme Court

from race. This is the Supreme Court

from race. This is the Supreme Court majority handing a win to Republicans. I

majority handing a win to Republicans. I

majority handing a win to Republicans. I know that. You know that. And the

know that. You know that. And the

know that. You know that. And the Republicans definitely know that because

Republicans definitely know that because

Republicans definitely know that because their leader said it out loud.

their leader said it out loud.

their leader said it out loud. >> Mr. President, I want to go back to the

>> Mr. President, I want to go back to the

>> Mr. President, I want to go back to the Supreme Court ruling on the Voting

Supreme Court ruling on the Voting

Supreme Court ruling on the Voting Rights Act. I know you said you haven't

Rights Act. I know you said you haven't

Rights Act. I know you said you haven't seen it.

seen it.

seen it. >> When did it come out? Just now.

>> When did it come out? Just now.

>> When did it come out? Just now. >> Um, no. It came out this morning. Uh,

>> Um, no. It came out this morning. Uh,

>> Um, no. It came out this morning. Uh, but basically very much narrows the

but basically very much narrows the

but basically very much narrows the Voting Rights Act.

Voting Rights Act.

Voting Rights Act. >> Was it considered a win for win for

>> Was it considered a win for win for

>> Was it considered a win for win for Republicans?

Republicans?

Republicans? >> I love it.

You could always count on Trump to get

You could always count on Trump to get

You could always count on Trump to get right to the point. Like, it's a win for

right to the point. Like, it's a win for

right to the point. Like, it's a win for Republicans. Did you guys hear that? I

Republicans. Did you guys hear that? I

Republicans. Did you guys hear that? I know this guy did.

>> For more on the peeling back of the

>> For more on the peeling back of the

>> For more on the peeling back of the voting rights, we go live to Republican

voting rights, we go live to Republican

voting rights, we go live to Republican headquarters with Rody Chang.

Ronnie. Ronnie, what's the room like

Ronnie. Ronnie, what's the room like

Ronnie. Ronnie, what's the room like over there? Uh, it's pretty lit here,

over there? Uh, it's pretty lit here,

over there? Uh, it's pretty lit here, Josh. Yeah, they're partying like it's

Josh. Yeah, they're partying like it's

Josh. Yeah, they're partying like it's 1964.

1964.

1964. I'm talking multiple guys snorting

I'm talking multiple guys snorting

I'm talking multiple guys snorting cocaine off of Steven Miller's penis.

cocaine off of Steven Miller's penis.

cocaine off of Steven Miller's penis. >> Oh, gross. Ronnie, this is going to

>> Oh, gross. Ronnie, this is going to

>> Oh, gross. Ronnie, this is going to screw up the whole country.

screw up the whole country.

screw up the whole country. >> Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think his

>> Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think his

>> Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think his penis is big enough to affect the whole

penis is big enough to affect the whole

penis is big enough to affect the whole country, Josh.

country, Josh.

country, Josh. No, not Steven Miller's piss. I mean the

No, not Steven Miller's piss. I mean the

No, not Steven Miller's piss. I mean the Supreme Court ruling. Oh. Oh, right,

Supreme Court ruling. Oh. Oh, right,

Supreme Court ruling. Oh. Oh, right, right, right. Hey, hey, guys. Guys, hey,

right, right. Hey, hey, guys. Guys, hey,

right, right. Hey, hey, guys. Guys, hey, I'm filing a report here. Can you Can

I'm filing a report here. Can you Can

I'm filing a report here. Can you Can you take it to the Oval Office?

you take it to the Oval Office?

you take it to the Oval Office? Okay. Thank you. Jeez. Sorry, Josh.

Okay. Thank you. Jeez. Sorry, Josh.

Okay. Thank you. Jeez. Sorry, Josh. Yeah. What were you saying about Steven

Yeah. What were you saying about Steven

Yeah. What were you saying about Steven Miller's penis?

Miller's penis?

Miller's penis? >> I wasn't. Black people are being

>> I wasn't. Black people are being

>> I wasn't. Black people are being disenfranchised. Aren't you worried

disenfranchised. Aren't you worried

disenfranchised. Aren't you worried about Asian people, too?

about Asian people, too?

about Asian people, too? >> Uh, no.

>> Uh, no.

>> Uh, no. Why the would I want more Asians in

Why the would I want more Asians in

Why the would I want more Asians in Congress? Congress is basically a

Congress? Congress is basically a

Congress? Congress is basically a nursing home for pedophiles. Like, what

nursing home for pedophiles. Like, what

nursing home for pedophiles. Like, what are Asians going to do? Hang out and get

are Asians going to do? Hang out and get

are Asians going to do? Hang out and get horrible hand jobs from Lauren Boowbert?

horrible hand jobs from Lauren Boowbert?

horrible hand jobs from Lauren Boowbert? I can do that myself.

I can do that myself.

I can do that myself. You really think Asians want to sling

You really think Asians want to sling

You really think Asians want to sling back Jell-O and applesauce with James

back Jell-O and applesauce with James

back Jell-O and applesauce with James Clyburn? No, thank you. But we need to

Clyburn? No, thank you. But we need to

Clyburn? No, thank you. But we need to get people in Congress. Congress is

get people in Congress. Congress is

get people in Congress. Congress is where the people have the power to

where the people have the power to

where the people have the power to change things. The power to change

change things. The power to change

change things. The power to change things. Oh, look everybody. Well,

things. Oh, look everybody. Well,

things. Oh, look everybody. Well, Congress, we're going to pass bills and

Congress, we're going to pass bills and

Congress, we're going to pass bills and fix problems. What the is this? A

fix problems. What the is this? A

fix problems. What the is this? A Schoolhouse Rock episode?

Schoolhouse Rock episode?

Schoolhouse Rock episode? Dude, Congress doesn't do Okay?

Dude, Congress doesn't do Okay?

Dude, Congress doesn't do Okay? They don't pass laws. They don't stop

They don't pass laws. They don't stop

They don't pass laws. They don't stop Trump from starting wars. Congress

Trump from starting wars. Congress

Trump from starting wars. Congress couldn't even pass the funds to scoop

couldn't even pass the funds to scoop

couldn't even pass the funds to scoop that turd off of Nancy Pelosy's desk.

that turd off of Nancy Pelosy's desk.

that turd off of Nancy Pelosy's desk. >> Okay? But we have to do something. How

>> Okay? But we have to do something. How

>> Okay? But we have to do something. How do we push back if we can't get into

do we push back if we can't get into

do we push back if we can't get into Congress? Money.

Congress? Money.

Congress? Money. Duh. Josh, you ever heard of it? It's

Duh. Josh, you ever heard of it? It's

Duh. Josh, you ever heard of it? It's called moola. It's the most powerful

called moola. It's the most powerful

called moola. It's the most powerful branch of government. You want your

branch of government. You want your

branch of government. You want your voice heard? Just get super rich and you

voice heard? Just get super rich and you

voice heard? Just get super rich and you can buy whatever politician you want.

can buy whatever politician you want.

can buy whatever politician you want. You can even make them do stuff. You can

You can even make them do stuff. You can

You can even make them do stuff. You can probably get Ted Cruz to vote on your

probably get Ted Cruz to vote on your

probably get Ted Cruz to vote on your bill or punch his own dick.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay, I'm listening.

Okay, I'm listening. But how do we get rich enough to buy the

But how do we get rich enough to buy the

But how do we get rich enough to buy the politicians? Okay, look, one simple way

politicians? Okay, look, one simple way

politicians? Okay, look, one simple way is to insider the trade. Okay, and the

is to insider the trade. Okay, and the

is to insider the trade. Okay, and the easiest way to do that is to get elected

easiest way to do that is to get elected

easiest way to do that is to get elected to Congress.

>> Oh, all right. Well, Ronnie Chang,

>> Oh, all right. Well, Ronnie Chang,

>> Oh, all right. Well, Ronnie Chang, everybody