Original subtitles

Here, let me help you say bye.

Yes, totally. Thank you. You're welcome.

Happy home!

It's so funny the small things you miss when you're away from home, like a day

nap on the sofa.

You must be exhausted, but wait till later.

I just ordered a pizza for us.

I really want to go to that music festival.

Wasn't your fiancé supposed to be flying with you today?

Long story short, we're not together anymore.

No?

Let's just say she has a lot of soul -searching to do before she asks another

woman to marry her. Oh my goodness.

What a relief.

How so?

Well, your mom nearly shit a brick when you told her A, you were gay, and B,

you're getting married in the spring, and my dad thinks that he's in denial.

thinks that you're just going through a phase.

I didn't get that impression at all. I thought they took it really well.

Whatever you say.

I mean, I think that they're just glad that they're going to get the old Ivy

back. The old Ivy?

I've always been the same.

Scarlett, I haven't really talked to you in a while.

Are we okay? Are you okay with me being this way?

Of course. Of course. I'm okay with you.

Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I think we're just all confused.

You know, you were straight, then you were gay, and now you're single, and we

just don't know what you are.

I mean, I don't know, Charlotte. I think I'm just me.

Well, I guess we should just get all this weirdness out.

Right now and figure out the bedroom situation.

What's wrong with our room?

Did it turn into an office or something?

No, but he's going to sleep in our bedroom.

I mean, I could sleep on the couch and you could just sleep in the bed. It's

fine.

Why would you not sleep in your bed in our room?

I mean, I guess...

We could. No, no, no. I get it. You think I have lesbian cooties. I'm going

infect you with my lesbian cooties.

It's like you think my lesbianism is painted on me, and if I touch you,

going to be infected. No.

That's not it at all.

I'm going to get my lesbian cooties painted on you. Stop it. You freak.

You're being so immature.

I'm going to get my lesbian cooties. Oh, my God.

Maybe I should kiss you with my lips that have been all over vagina.

You're being stupid.

Oh, Scarlett, how can I help myself?

Ever since I became a lesbian, I have no restraint with beautiful women.

Stop, you're being weird right now.

Your ego is too much, Scarlett.

Hopefully you can come down to Earth soon.

In the meantime, I'm going to put my bag in our room.

Hey, Ivy?

Does the light bother you?

No, I was nearly asleep.

Oh, sorry.

Just having a hard time going to sleep.

Ivy?

Hmm.

How did you know you were a lesbian?

I don't know. I just fell in love with a girl.

Do you remember Miss Pomelo in our English class?

I heard that she was gay.

Did you think she was pretty?

Did you?

No.

Shut up.

Turn the light off, okay? I want to wake up early tomorrow.

I mean, how do you know if your ex -fiancee wasn't brainwashing you into

lesbian? I mean, you weren't a lesbian before.

Scarlett!

It could happen, you know.

You know, you've always been easy. What do you look for in a guy?

Well, lots of things.

He has to be tall, strong, big hands, good eyes, funny, smart,

politically... Tall, strong, big hands.

Wouldn't you say you're the thing for someone to protect you?

Well, I guess so.

It makes sense. That's a primal instinct.

A woman needs somebody to make her feel safe and protected. But what if you

found somebody that met all of your emotional needs and also you felt so

by them that you felt protected somehow?

I don't know. I guess it makes sense.

So your ex made you feel safe?

Definitely. I didn't know she was into girls when I met her.

Or that I was into girls.

But we just... We're really close friends and got closer and closer and

passion just kind of builded. And then one day it just snapped and we collided.

And I just have to believe that love like that could happen to anyone.

Well, what if I asked you to do me a favor?

Kiss me like you kissed her.

You know, just to make sure I'm straight.

Never. Why?

You don't think I'm sexy?

You're very pretty.

What?

I'm not hot to a lesbian?

I'm not going to speak for all lesbians, Scarlett. I don't even know if I'm 100

% lesbian. Well, maybe you should just see me naked or something.

Tell me if you have the urge to... Stop it, Scarlett.

You have no idea how offensive you can be sometimes.

No, no, no, it's alright, it's alright.

We'll just go to bed and forget this conversation ever happened, okay?

Yeah, sorry, it's weird, it's just, it's all weird.

We should just go to bed now.

You're not weird, okay?

I'm, I'm just dishonest.

When you kissed me, I just, I knew it was supposed to be silly, but I felt

something.

Oh, my God.

I gave you lesbian cooties.

No, Ivy, no. Like, don't laugh at this. I'm being serious. I think I'm a

lesbian. I read lesbian erotic stories, and I like to imagine the characters as

if I know them.

But I fantasized about you before.

loved and protected with you, and... You fantasized about me?

Kiss me like you kissed her.

I mean, I won't bring it up again if you don't want to, and you can just pretend

that you never even asked that question.

Mrs. Pomelo and I used to have a thing.

No.

Yeah.

Pomelo.

Can I show you what she taught me?

Okay.

NO!

is how she showed you.

She never did that.

came together I

think lesbian

cooties is the real thing

We're ready to make out now.

Are you going to wing a bit?

Yeah.

Okay. Okay, so do that little kiss and then back up. Wow.

And we'll do a cut. Okay.

I don't even need, no, I don't even need food. I just eat pussy.

It's my favorite song. It's so weird how rappers say pussy. Have you heard?

They're like, drown in the pussy.

I can't

find it out.

Okay.

And go.