Original subtitles

[Music]

dear L he's a lucky guy I'm like going

to cry I got tears coming out of my nose

M crap it's a campus catch a perfect

match cuz he both have such great tast

in clothes of course he will

propose de L honey mole top future

taking off bring that ring back and show

it to me for car a princess cut are you

py for what I just wish I could be there

to see when he gets down on one

knee oh my

God my got win theide there every was a

perfect couple this one qualifies oh my

God you guys oh my God this is happening

our own home coming queen and king fin

we should be trying on a huge engagement

ride oh my God you guys oh my

God shut up El shut up Warner shut up

engaged oh my

[Music]

God okay everybody sign by now fall in

line and we'll start the engagement

parade light candles and single file

don't forget to smile lucum cage you

look like the M sorry now prepare to

serate oh my God oh my God you

[Music]

guys there aect CP

one my God serious L and Warner were

meant to be not once ever at hit on me

shut up there's like couple from Titanic

only no one dies oh my God 2 3 4 da of

Del soon to be fian now that a man chose

you your life begins today make him a

happy home wa not his hard earned wage

and so he does not roam strive not to

look your age still in your out of me

let it be understood no

super our Sac Bond of sister

H oh my God oh my God guys she's not

here what that makes me crazy in my

head Bruiser Bruiser where is Al she

doesn't have an engagement

outfit oh my God she is totally freaking

out she's trapped in the old Valley

Mill oh what

sorry the old Valley

Mall don't take the freeway wait for me

no one should be alone to

Dr oh my God you guys oh my God oh my

God oh my God oh my God oh my

God

[Applause]

almost there but this dress needs to

seal the deal make a grown man kneel but

it can't come right out and say bride

can't look like I'm desperate or like

I'm waiting for it I got to leave Warner

his pride so bride is more

imp oh my God oh my God you guys oh this

week I bet butterflies every time he

looks at me it's totally propol lied oh

my God you guys so help me dress for my

fairy tale can't wear something I bought

on sale love is like forever this is no

time to economize oh my

God blondes make commission so

easy excuse me have you seen this just

came in oh it's perfect for a blonde

right with a half Loop stitch on China

silk uhhuh but the thing is you can't

use a half Loop stitch on China silk

it'll pucker and you didn't just get

this in because I saw it in last May's

vog oh my God oh my God dear guys I am

not about to buy last year's dress at

this year's price right through that

sales girl life it may be perfect for a

blonde but I'm not that blonde I may be

in love but I'm not stupid lady I've got

eyes oh my God LW sorry our mistake

Courtney take your break just ignore her

she hasn't been well try this long go on

try it on I take care of my best

client it's a gift from me to

[Applause]

L my God oh my God you guys this was

perfect and it's just my size SE dreams

really do come through you never have to

compromise oh my

God if ever want a perfect couple this

qualif we love you guys no I love you

guys oh my God oh my God oh my

God

oh my

[Music]

[Music]

gosh

[Music]

oh Warner tonight's just perfect no

you're perfect no you are no you are no

you no you you okay I'm even irritating

myself now I want you to know how happy

you've made me I mean every guy dreams

of finding a girl who looks like

you we both know why we're here I see it

in your eyes I guess it calms my fear to

know it's not a surprise I thought one

look at you looking like a dream come

true would leave me speechless like you

always do but now we're wide

awake and we've got some plans to make

let's take some action baby so baby give

me your

hand I've got some dreams to make

true I've got the future I'll

plan it's time to get serious time to

get serious with

you I never thought honey I'm not

finished oh sorry since I was two or

three

my life was planned out needs I'd get my

law degree and then in my senate seat a

big white house all of the

amies three kids at least just like the

kennedies here's where our lives

be but just where do you fit in fit me

in I'll break it down now baby so baby

give me your hand my hand my hand I've

got some dreams to make true we both

have Dre to make I know that you

understand it's time to get serious it's

time to get serious

serious got to wake up and take our

journey

serious tell you ask future attorney you

want the Moon Andy then take a don't be

sh baby that's why

you should break up yes baby I'll give

you my heart

[Music]

you're breaking up with me but I I

thought you

were

proposing oh um yeah I uh I did talk to

my parents about that Poo Bear

but they expect a lot from me I'm going

off to Harvard Law School and my

brother's at Yale law and so is his new

wife and she's a Vanderbilt for Christ's

sake oh so I'm not good enough for you

Warner I'm from Malibu I'm not exactly

trailer trash here Richard Simmons is

our

neighbor L if I'm going to be a senator

when I'm 30 I'm going to need somebody

serious less of a Maryland more of a

Jackie

serious somebody classy and not too

tacky okay that came out wrong baby

let's both be strong I mean we've known

all just shut

up what does that mean I'm not a

Jackie I'm not

serious but I am seriously in love with

you maybe my futur are

planned

I've got some dreams to make

true I thought that you'd

understand it's time to get

serious time to get

serious check

please

[Music]

daughter of Delta new sweetheart it's

been 12 Days please let us help you

through she's eating Milky

Ways tell me that's a

fun I think he should be shot and let me

tell you what I don't think he's that

hot I do well you're a

look who is talking oh uh-uh three words

spring break

cowbo are

you must we all descend into madness yes

oh snap it out so good to see

you look we brought you new magazines we

got Town and Country and your favorite

the one they named after you L

magazine thanks but I think it's going

to take more than l in Town and Country

to bring me back from my shame spiral

well then sweetie you are just going to

have to hold on cuz the new Vogue is not

out till next week

okay what do not tell me ponchos are

back

in no worse it's Warner's brother pyton

Huntington the 4th and his bride

pictures from their wedding look Muffy

Vanderbilt

mommy wait a sec this is the kind of

girl Warner wants someone serious

someone loyly someone who wears black

when nobody's

dead girls I have a completely brilliant

plan

God what you want war what you want is

me but you need to see me in a brand new

domain well it's plain Warner in a set

and you will see you're getting all of

this PL the brain I'll meet you there at

Harvard with a book in my hand big

sturdy book big wordy book full of words

I'll understand and right there is see

it what is right in front of

you clear what you right here what you

want right in of you

of

here

step one he's off to Harvard Law so I

get in there too make Warner assess

impress him with my high IQ a great big

wedding and Del that's great nice plan

now can we think this through Harvard

Law School I have a 4.0 average yeah and

fashion merchandising what makes you

think you can do this love I'm doing

this for love and love will see me

through with the Love on my side I can't

move

and Harvard can't refuse love so pure

and true don't lawyers feel love too

even if they do what you want sweetheart

is no easy thing if you're going to

swing it it will wreck your senior

spring yeah it's true first you'll need

an elsat score of more than 174 so no

more parties for you you'll need a

killer essay or do not even hope and

glowing letters from your betters any

chance you know the pop no too bad cuz

that would be a cool and You' got a lot

of work in front of you you want know

what you want even so what you want is

right in front of you of you what you

want you go what you want really go what

you want it's right in front of you of

you law school yes daddy law school good

God why law school is for boring ugly

serious

people and you button are none of those

things what you want button hey you just

say the word but what you want's absurd

and cost a whole lot of Swag and hell

why button when you can stay right here

pursue a film career how about a nice

Perkin bag yes the east coast is foreign

there's no film studios it's cold and

dark no valet parking all the girls have

different noses F button it's like the

damn front deer tell me what's out there

that you can get right here guys love

I'm going there for love love I have to

win I can live without sun or valet I

can't just walk away betray what might

have fine okay I'll pay your way if you

get

[Applause]

it hey everybody it's the springling

fear bash

extreme

not for you you can either party or get

into Harvard Law time to study

go this your te oh my God Jama making me

crazy what you want you want to be out

because it's on she what you want you

want to be sturdy stuck inside your door

what you want you want to be party with

us all night long what you want you want

to be strong be

strong

134 not good enough try again go what

you want you want to be groov and bup

and shake the Room what you want you

want to be proven something and to what

you want you want to be W to where you

youth is gone what you want you want to

hold on hold

on

151 still not Harvard material once

again what you want you want to be

breathing in the healthy air what you

want you want to be chasing him and he

don't care what you want you want to

ignore the p

alive

175 175

175

175 so gentlemen Harvard Law grants

admission to Adam Cohen and Sun deep

padon o outstanding and now M L

Woods who was kind enough to send in a

head

shot she's applying

apparently well she has a 4.0 average

yes in fashion merchandising she did get

a 175 on her lsats yes and there's also

a letter of recommendation from Oprah

Winfrey

gentlemen

gentlemen I'm not arguing Miss Woods is

unqualified but look at her is that the

face of Harvard

Law

multiculturalism excuse me we should

admit her for reasons of Multicultural

multiculturalism exactly gentlemen

Gentlemen please get a hold of

yourselves this is Harvard Law School

not

match.com oh look at that oh what a

shame she didn't bother sending in a

personal

essay how this for a person person

essay goodness

me who are you I'm what you want I'm the

girl for you and to prove it true we all

flew here on J thank you thank you call

me every

ad this is not a personal essay so

boring and so much is not F so weing

right here taking

you Jo

the that watch

[Music]

[Applause]

out and now some legal

[Music]

jargon

exhibit

[Music]

a time for my

[Music]

cross I

[Music]

object may I

approach

everyone

everyone

everyone Africa

now see here mswoods you can't just

barge in here with singing and dancing

an ethnic

movement it's a very flashy presentation

but I still don't see one reason to

admit you

[Music]

how about

[Applause]

love you ever been in love cuz if you

have you'll know that love never accepts

defeat no challenge it can't meet no

place it cannot go don't say no to a war

on Love Don't Laugh when I see Love

Don't BL that

I'm because even a person who's smart

can listen to Heart can listen and

believe so believe in what love can

achieve do you believe I do do you

believe me too yes we

believe about you welcome

[Music]

to

[Music]

now

want Hello I'm uh EMT Forest class of

art five

represent uh welcome to the hallowed

Halls of Harvard Law I know firsthand

how hard you've all worked to be here

today so let's go around and share a bit

about yourselves Aaron

Schulz I want a full bright and a roads

I write Financial software codes but

that's a challenge I've outgrown how

many Yachts can one man own some say

that I'm A pompous creep somehow I don't

lose that much sleep why father with

false modesty Harvard's the perfect

place for me pretty impressive good to

know welcome to Harvard what's up yo Su

grow padan but you may call me Your

Majesty in my country my word was law

but then I flee because of stupid

kudet but here I learn I make new

friends and soon returning bulletproof

mercedesbenz impressive good to know

welcome to Hoops I did the Peace Court

overseas inoculating refugees and family

clinics that I built myself from M and

trees I fought to clean up their lagoons

and save their rare endangered loons and

let a protest March against it sensitive

cartoons pretty impressive good but now

I'm on the legal track because this

country's out of whack and only women

have the guts to go and take it back

we'll make the government come clean and

get more people voting green and really

stick it to the fall machine I love your

talk it is so fatigue Chic so outside to

you guys snaps first day of Harvard

Law I'm El woods and this is Bruiser

Woods en it oh my God we both have names

that start with an e oh my God we're

like practically

twins uh we were just going around the

circle tell us something about yourself

me okay well I'm a Gemini with a double

Capricorn Moon and I have a bachelor's

degree from UCLA where I was s up

sweetheart president of Delta new sority

and founded the charity shop for a

cause oh and just last week at Fred

seagull I talked Beyonce out of buying a

truly heinous CA knit tube top whoever

said Tangerine is the new pink is

seriously

Disturbed

I did not know

that does anyone know where I can find

criminal law 101 with Professor Callahan

and Warner Huntington

III uh actually we're all headed there

so I'm I'm sure somebody would be happy

to show

you H uh it's inher over there second

building on the left thank

you you know I don't think dogs are

exactly allowed in class oh bruiser's

not a dog bruiser's family

I'll just drop him off at my room he'd

be happier there anyway Bruiser loves

Days of Our Lives I'll see you later

then I want a full bright and a road I

write Financial software

[Music]

codes excuse

me pardon me

have it

through l oh my God Warner that is so

weird I totally forgot you go

here what are you doing here I go here

you got into Harvard what like it's

hard uh this must be yours Woods comma L

is this my social

agenda uh uh no your academic roster oh

right there's that let's totally catch

up after

class who is she my

ex-girlfriend

um all that pink you're wearing is that

even legal pink is my signature color so

I gather everyone take your seats

Professor Callahan should be here any

second

you know three years ago I was sitting

right where you're sitting and I'd heard

all the same rumors I'm sure you've

heard too Callahan's ruthless he bathes

in the blood of sheep blah blah blah

only partly true what you really need to

know is you have the right to remain

silent anything you say will be used

against you

now when you choose a law career the

moment you Embark there is that joke

you're bound to hear a lawyer is a shark

ignore that it's simplistic and it's

dumb only some of you will turn out

sharks just

some the rest are

Chum our topic is blood in the

water kids it's time you

faced law school is a waste oh yes

unless you acquire a taste for blood in

the

water dark and red and raw you're

nothing until the thrill of the kill

becomes your only law Mr Schulz

hypothetical question would you be

willing to defend the following Banker

accused to fraud a kind old grandma took

her savings and she sent it off to your

client all she saved since he was born

well he promised to invest it but he

spent it on prostitutes and heroin and

porn no I would not want to take that

case wrong this one is a win unless

you're lazy Grandma's broke she'll have

some hack from legal aid put her on the

stand and call her old and crazy your

guy goes free and he can even get you

laid look for the blood in the water

read your your Thomas

Hobs only spineless snobs will quarrel

with a morally dubious jobs yes blood in

the water your Scruples are a

flaw M Hoops hypothetical question would

you be the right lawyer for the

following client say they offer you a

bundle for defending a famous Hitman for

the mafia Elite well seems he missed his

chosen prey killed and drove away

running over three cute puppies in the

street what do you think I wouldn't

defend him just because he's a typical

man oh you lesbians think you're so

tough excuse me sir oh dear I fear my

comment has offended hard to argue

though when you're too mad to speak your

imployment will be very quickly ended

when they see how your emotions make you

weak so what's my point I run a billion

doll offer and I hire four new interns

every year from this class I will select

four young sharks whom I respect and

those four will have a guaranteed career

do you follow

me so I want to see

what exactly let the games

begin four of you will win but just

those four with a dors so thin yes blood

in the water so bite and scratch and

Claw what yes M uh Woods lwoods oh well

someone's had their morning coffee could

you summarize the case of state of

Indiana V Hearn from your reading please

oh I wanted to answer the puppy

question but I'm asking you about the

assigned

reading okay who assigns reading for the

first day of class

[Music]

you have guts Miss

Woods M

Kensington let us say you teach a class

at Harvard Law School a position that

you're justly proud about but a girl on

whom you call hasn't read the case at

all should you let it go or no I'd throw

her

out all right

then you heard your

classmate you have just been killed she

cuts your throat so grab your coat yes

you've got guts but now they're still

your bloods in the water so would you

please

withdraw and if you return be ready to

learn or is that unfair oh wait I don't

care that's just how I rule in life as

in school with fear and shock and a

you're nothing

until to The Thrill of the

kill becomes your only

Lord your only

Lord

hey Woods comma L listen I got kicked

out of class once first year too it's

awful but trust me your law career Is

Not Over Law career so not the problem

listen I just need to get back into

class with Warner can you help me yeah

come back tomorrow and make sure you've

done your reading right um um excuse

me why would you do that to another girl

do what we girls have to stick together

we can't try to look good by making each

other look bad I didn't make you look

bad you just weren't prepared try

opening a law book sometime but I should

warn you they don't come with pictures

so I'll give you ladies a moment

then aren't there girls going wild

somewhere without

you uh Hey Oh Warner thank God you're

here yeah L listen I'm really sorry

sorry for what Warner is there something

you'd like to share with L do you know

her

yeah well uh Vivien and I went to

boarding school together and now she's

my

girlfriend I'm sorry I just hallucinated

what did you

say he said I'm his

girlfriend

girlfriend Margo Serena B

girls what are you doing here L this is

a tragedy and every tragedy needs a

Greek chorus Greek

chorus L we are here to help yeah but

we're not actually here here no we're

just in your head honey what you crying

at you're not losing him to that both

her hair and shoes are flat and why is

she so rude wipe your tears it's no big

thing you were meant to wear his ring

she red up it's time to bring a happy

attitude keep it

positive as you slap her to the floor

keep it

positive as you pull her hair and call

her you can take her in a you and

T will reunite you know we're right

we're girls girls violence is never

never wise not the way to win back guys

anyway she's twice my size Who's Got A

Plan B me look at her she's like a none

show him you are way more fun bust out

the L and you've won you off the hisle

but keep

POS out your a freak keep it

posi Missy Pants last a week you will

wet his appetite you and he will reunite

you know we eyes we're

positive we're

positive we're

positive we're oh my God you're making

me sick really are we Warner let's take

this back to my

place

I he loves you and not your Hunter and I

bet your sponsor she don't know the real

hand you don't let her

we can sleep beauty turn his head with

your red bring the if you bring the it's

positiv time to shake your J shake shake

shake shake shake shake shake shake

shake

[Applause]

[Music]

shake

[Music]

girl how was this helping he's not even

here he left while we were shaking junk

wait girls I'm

positive that we've taken this too far

no I'm

positive this is Harvard not a stripper

bar all this trashy carrying on that's

the reason that he's gone I need a salon

girls

I'm try not to get upset but I'm posed

it's time for me to go brunette what

being blond and being hot my D got me

exactly squat got to show it

again no I'm positive posi I'm

positive

I'm

hey there hey there welcome to the Hair

Affair oh you're with paulet so you're

in good hands here I'm like all state

but for

hair make me a brunette a what a

brunette oh honey you can't change this

you're a genetic Lotto win okay

something else is going on here now back

up pette is listening

spill okay I'm Elwoods and and I came

all the way out for Harvard Law School

that's a good school I know

right anyway I did it all to follow my

one true love Warner but now he's

he's he's dating an evil

preppy so what she have that you don't

got three

boobs she's serious seriously does she

have three boobs

no she's a constipated polo shirt with a

mousy brown bob apparently that's what

Warner wants so you have to make me a

brunette whoa whoa whoaa whoa whoa whoa

whoa whoa whoa

whoa now do you know the number one

reason behind all bad hair

decisions

love you lost without your love your

heart is on the floor well I can help

you I've been been there before when I

need to relax I just put on some tracks

from this CD I bought for the

[Music]

store isn't that

relaxing it's called Celtic

mes when I'm lonely I feeling dejected

I play this and it never fails I pretend

like I'm in

irland with Ena and the

whales when my telephone gets

disconnected or I spend every night

alone i' pretend like I'm in Ireland

where the Irish fish bag pipes

drone smell the grass as a rainstorm is

ending people smile while I show past

their

Farms with a redheaded sailor named

Brandon and we dance without moving our

arms in a bar once I met this guy Dewey

and he bought me like 14 beard

and he told me that he was from

Ireland so I lived with him 10 years if

I squinted he looked like my sailor

through my boozy delusional

fog but he dumped me for some named

Kayla took my trailer and took my

dog in and I know how to love you you

Embrace in the miss the Irish please and

if your Irish boy ties of you you're

allowed to shoot him in the

knees say you look like that poster for

irland long blond hair and that sweet

Sunny face on a wait that's the post of

the Sweden oh screw it I'll Never See

either place but a girl

sweet as you has a

future you have

hope as each new day Dawns girls like

you always get to see

[Music]

Ireland give my

love to the

[Music]

Le

oh you

know it's it's just times like this

where I miss my dog roof is the most

look it's our annual glamour shot with

little Sailors oh Beyond adorable no

woman should be denied her dog tell me

something I don't know so I'll bring the

Lobster Pot Stickers oh perfect and I

have a case of Gard yum now that's a

party oh if there's a

party hello Vivian hello

L uh yeah just a few of us are getting

together next Friday night hey El maybe

that guy you like will be there you

should go definitely come it's a costume

party I love costume parties of course

you do okay next Friday at 8 243 massav

see you there thanks Vivian

he you are so going to borrow my secret

weapon costume I got in storage listen

all we need to do is dust off the moth

balls oh but wait till you see it now

you go you go and you do this honey

because if a girl like you can't win

back hagy then there is no hope for the

rest of us oh poette thank you for

talking me off the ledge you have no

idea how much I needed then oh well then

go L you go and you fight for the is Fe

nothing and no one they keep fighting

till everyone's

dead I'm not sure where this metaphor is

going I just felt like it had to be

sa there's a guy at that party who loves

you something most of us only

dream you go out there and you get some

Marin

the country of

whiskey and

Love

Whitney darling thank you for hosting

this oh my pleasure oh thank you we all

needed a break from law school anxiety

and worrying about Callahan internship H

you can say that again well you two

enjoy yourselves oh mingle

okay you do know Whitney's father is

next in line to be speaker of the house

so you said oh just think future

presidents Could Be In This Very Room

okay I'm going to go track down Robert

Coleman and convince him that he must

join our study group apparently his

summer home is three houses down from

Justice suor okay I'm going to grab a

beer right

hey shut

up hey check out Miss

October oh my

God hey stranger L man what's with the

costume can a girls shake things up yeah

but how come you couldn't wear this when

we were going out because I guess you

never asked which now ranks as the

greatest regret of my life no I uh I

still can't get over the fact that

you're here at Harvard I mean back at

UCLA never would have guessed

it sometimes I missed the old days those

party senior year I thought we ruled the

world you funn with all that beer I held

your head when you Hur we were like Gods

back then walking among common men tell

tell me why can't it be that way again

dreams don't just

disappear we could keep on dreaming them

here what like senior year but funner

you've got your future play I I do what

if I'm standing there too we I'm not

following you I'm here cuz I understand

sure I understand here cuz I'm serious

you're right you look real

serious Warner don't forget I got into

this school too and now we'll both be

studying law together maybe we'll both

get Callahan's internship and work

together wo whoo wo w Wait a second El

you get kicked out of class like every

day you don't actually believe you have

a chance of getting that internship do

you of course oh everybody in the class

wants it nobody more than me it's a

guaranteed career you're you're

practically made partner before you get

a job offer and L you're looking fluffy

as usual oh oh hello Vivian thanks for

the great tip on the costume party I see

you came as last year's sample

sale look Pooh Bear L you have to Ace

his course to get that internship and

he's not called C minus Callahan for

nothing Warner I am completely cognizant

of both of those facts you're not going

to make it through the semester let

alone get Callahan's internship even if

you keep going and going and

going face it bunny one of these things

is not like the other someday we'll

nominate Supreme Court Justices and

you'll

tan run home L and change out of your

skank

costume oh is that what you see Vivian

how unfortunate because I'm Gloria

steinm Circa 1963 researching for her

feminist Manifesto I was a Playboy bunny

are you actually calling Gloria steum a

skank who's calling Gloria steum a skank

she

is to say that totally

[Music]

M whoa

L what's

up

doc

love excuse me I put my faith in love I

followed where it led Love Led you here

to my personal circle of hell it has not

worked out well I wish that I were dead

cuz instead of a weding and love I'm

fking out of school a total laughing

stock someone he and his friends can

just mock so go here my head just hit

him with a rock

wait go back you came out here to follow

a man man Harvard Law was just part of

that plan man what Rich romantic Planet

are you

from

Malibu instead of lying outside by the

pool you stalk some guy to an iy League

school that's the weirdest reason I have

why' you

come

okay I grew up in the rockberry slums

with my mom and a series of bums guys

who showed me all the ways a man can

fail I got through law school by busting

my ass worked two jobs in addition to

class so forgive me for not Weeping at

your

tail well excuse me but just because

you've got a chip on your shoulder you

know what you're right there's a chip on

my shoulder and it's big as a boulder

with a chance I've been given I'm going

to be driven as hell I'm so close I can

taste it so I'm not going to waste it

yeah there's a chip on my

shoulder you might want to get one as

well well that sounds highly negative

hey I'm just being honest when you

weren't born into privilege you got to

work twice as

hard I want that sweatshirt

back

[Music]

wait two jobs plus law school I haven't

slept since

1992 seriously

how do you do it well I don't go to

parties a lot not good use of the time

that I've got can't spend hours doing my

hair and staying in shape I don't spend

hours but I know it'll all be worthwhile

when I win my first lucrative trial and

buy my mom that great big house out on

the cap that's so sweet no that's the

chip on my shoulder I hugged my mom and

told her with a chance I've been given

I'm going to be driven as hell the I

can't take the day off I just think of

the payoff you need a chip on your

shoulder Little Miss Woods comma l no I

don't I just need to prove to everyone

that I'm serious what you need is to get

to

work make yourself at

home Hello

[Music]

Kitty oh

oh you drink a lot of Red Bull don't you

it gives me

energy for when you're up late studying

what I said

studying you do study don't you where

are those law books oh um they're under

the oh under the the

pile P

love they're here

somewhere you know this vanity is real

picturesque but it started its life as a

desk clear it off and find some room for

books instead what are you doing can you

live without this can you live without

that I don't know what this is it's for

hair wear a hat spend some time

improving what's inside your head out

out put it in storage sell it on eBay

leave it behind out out what are you

angry good so get angry you may find a

chip on your shoulder oh the room just

got colder but with a Chance you've been

given why are you not driven as hell

there's just no way around it you got to

plow through till you found

it been reading it hard I can

tell to be simple I gift to be

free

bye Warner Happy

Thanksgiving say hi to your mom and dad

for me and Grandma Bootsy what is this

my second my third I don't know but I am

loving

it Define malum prohibitum malum

prohibitum malam prohibitum is um an act

prohibited an act prohibited by law like

jay walking or twoing in Singapore

therefore malaman say means malaman say

is an action that's evil in itself

assault murder White Shoes after Labor

Day

good where you going home of course uh

it's Thanksgiving break

remember

interesting what well I predict you will

probably pass in the bottom percent of

your class if you're going for mediocre

you've done great that's not fair look

they laughed at me like they're laughing

at you we can't win if we don't follow

through might I Venture your vacation

plans can wait why do you always have to

be

[Music]

right in chel

day bye Warner Merry

Christmas enjoy Veil okay now Focus L

Focus now the case of Russell versus

Sullivan determined that Russell was

legally the child's father even though

he was just a sperm donor gold

star um uh this is my friend pette hi

hey there um for you

not as good as going home for Christmas

but you are too sweet it's a real

timesaver shampoo and conditioner in

[Music]

one hair care I love this guy oh well

I'll just leave you two alone then I'll

see you later

L you are so adorable to think of me hey

hey have you seen Vivan I've been

looking for her

everywhere

huh

[Music]

yeah I mean

no great we're going to miss our

flight um

L I don't know if you've noticed before

but each Time Warner walks through the

door your IQ goes down to 40 maybe less

yes huh though it's hardly my business

to say could it be the real thing in

your way is the very guy you're trying

to

impress

yes I've been smiling and sweet and

thoroughly beat and blowing my chance

let's not chase him away let's face him

and say hey P Let's Dance this chip on

my shoulder makes you smarter and Bolder

no more whining or blaming

claiming

my let do this instead ofl hearts all

through this now

a let's see him knock it

aside go back to school with a pict on

your

should but Mr Latimer wasn't stalking he

was clearly within his rights to ask for

visitation Russell versus Su but Russell

was known to the mother laimer was an

anonymous donor well yeah but without Mr

Latimer sperm the child in question

would not exist now you're thinking like

a lawyer that's a way to do it yes woods

Mr Huntington makes an excellent point

but did the defendant keep a log of

every sperm emission made throughout his

life what interesting why do you ask

well unless the defendant attempted to

contact every sexual encounter to find a

child resulted in those unions he has no

parental claim over this child

whatsoever why now why this sperm I see

your point and by Mr Huntington standard

all masturbatory missions where the

sperm was clearly not seeking an egg

could be called Reckless

abandonment Miss Woods you just won your

case oh my

God I am to like

this Miss Woods excellent work today I

assume you're applying for my internship

do you have a

resume I'm one step ahead of

you here you go and thanks in advance

for your

[Music]

consideration

[Applause]

dear God it's

scented you know three months ago I

would have recycled this make sure to

put it on

file guess she got a chip on her

shoulder maybe some wise men told her

with a Chance we've been given we got to

be driven as hell she was something to

see there I'm just happy I could be

there first big test and she H it she's

so close she can taste it she got a chip

on her

shoulder guess you never can

tell with little Miss Woods

[Music]

come

never

with pette are you ready oh I don't know

El Dewey scares the crap out of me and

that's okay channel that fear remember

you are a strong independent woman and

you must be reunited with your dog

anyone who bakes their dog a birthday

cake deserves nothing less oh and it's

shaped like a

bone and that kind of devotion can

cannot be ignored well it's not easy to

find dogf friendly chocolate

substitutes oh in

the oh crap not you again polet get your

fat ass off in my property doey I want

to see my dog I got to right and I bet

you didn't even know it's his birthday

today oh oh it's your birthday it's your

birthday well you can't see him jaly gut

best decision I ever made was throwing

you out

no can you believe I lived with that for

10 years and that sheep SK never even

got me a ring L they lived together for

10

years of course EMT you are a

[Music]

genius

M Mr Dewey we are Miss Bona fante's

legal team lawyers I don't think you

realize that the great Commonwealth of

Massachusetts recognizes your 10-year

relationship with Miss

bonafonte as a common law marriage and

entitles her

to Equitable division of

property huh translation we're taking

the

[Applause]

[Music]

dog oh boy oh boy if I miss this face oh

hey l l this is the nicest thing that

anyone has ever done for me bar

none

wait was that

law is this the point of law I'm feeling

kind of high you okay this is why we all

study and slog to help the underdog I so

identify guys Callahan got a big murder

trial defending exercise Queen Brook

Windam he needs extra help so he's

posting his internship today ladies and

gentlemen I need the best and the

brightest congrats to the the choice few

as for the rest of you welcome to the

middle EMT I'm making you my co-counsel

on the Windam trial prove yourself here

in the title associate isn't far off yes

sir we start Monday 9:00 a.m. sharp and

uh make sure everyone dresses

appropriately oh I that is so great I'm

so proud of you oh yes score Warner we

got kahan's internship what it's just

like we planned bab oh this is just the

beginning

wait it's it's

perfect make this the happiest day of my

life Warner it's absolutely stunning

marry

me

yes all of this time I planned I'd be

patient and

you would love me

again you'd come to respect my mind and

at last you'd find you could love me

again and I have turned my whole world

upside down trying not to let you go

watching you walk away it's like a fatal

blow

what what wo I said my name up on that

list does someone know that I exist is

this a aake am I even awake Pinch Me Now

to make

sure that is my name in black and white

maybe I'm doing something right wo I

feel so much better than

before Warner sorry I've been a past but

I guess my best was not working with

you but looks like I found a cure and I

look forward to with you what working

with you hey remember when we spent

spring break in the hearts of every

night every said nothing else whatever

feels all right well there might seeing

my name up on that list that L that the

first time that we K thought I was Dum

but I think somebody's

taking my b in black and white it's like

making love with you night now W it

feels so much better much

[Applause]

better much better I am so

[Music]

much maybe she's what you prefer but hey

last year I was her maybe you will

change your mind but you might look up

to find I've gone on to better things

better jobs or figuring I don't have the

time to cry I'm too busy loving

my

of who else can I tell oh wait

myself hey Mom look

my and

white

do I feel so much better I'll be there

on Monday

: then we will see who L the No No I

can't wait I will be there at eight when

they

h i dress I

see you much

better

better and I am so M I am so I am so

much I am so I am so much

better than

before

[Applause]

yeah hi I'm Brook Windom and welcome

back to the Windom workout disc 2

Challenge and Our Daily Commitment to

being the best that we can be so grab

your cardio with 5,000 cuz if you want

to get ripped You' got to get whipped do

you want an easy Miracle do you want to

lose a pound or two then you can turn

this off right now my workouts not for

you I'm talking to the woman who wants

it all got to pay for what you get cuz

size two clothes don't come to those too

lazy to sweat I want you wh to sh when I

say know you're doing it right when you

start to you don't look like you should

you got to whip it whip it whip it

No Escape till you're whipped into shape

come on Sabrina you heer we're going to

sh I hate you and I love you for

it hey why'd you pause it we have a lot

to cover meet our brand new client Brook

you can laugh but she's made tons off

her DVDs and book whip your way to

tighter buns happily married so she

swears to her 60-year-old stud till

stepdaughter came downstairs and found

Brooke all covered in his blood if

Brooke took a plea I'd have her out in

three to four but she claims she did not

kill him did she let's watch some

more well it's more than just a workout

it's a defensive weapon too simply wrap

it round your salent neck and pull till

he turns blue you can also use the

patented handle grip to shatter your

attacker spine all for three small

payments of

1999 get him lipped into shap when you

get grief from a guy just work him over

with this till he starts to cry he don't

act like he should you got to wh it wh

good it gets you out of any St and gets

you Whi into shap come on

[Music]

people what does not kill us makes us

hotter okay hands who thinks she's

guilty okay now here is where you kids

come in Brooke has trouble trusting me

I'm her only chance to win but I don't

speak MTV though Brook won't help her

own defense she may listen to her peers

go and place a little sense in the space

between her ears not now I want her

whipped into shape if there's a brain in

that hair tell it that I am the key it's

a plea or the chair see when I talk to

her I give neither plea or plan or Alibi

to quote from our defendant tape I want

her ripped in shape to the

jail come on ladies just because we're

boss in women's Corruption of facility

does not mean we can't become the best

that we can

be here we go circle circle under over

through around

again

good Circle Circle under over through

around all right ladies we can't break

out of here but we sure can break a

flat left right

good left right

[Music]

everybody I

sh

know

sh you got

to like prison ladies No Escape till you

ripped in the

sh in the

sh swipe it swipe it swipe it through

check it up double jump it swipe it

swipe it through check it up double jump

that's right you got

[Music]

it

H Miss

Windam Miss Windham you got some

visitors Miss Windham I'm EMT Forest

your co-counsel from stws owski Fox and

cahan these four interns are the cream

of the crop at Harvard Law we're here to

uh whip up your legal defense uh

incidentally my mom is a big fan of your

DVDs credits you with her Nutcracker

butt her words any who we'd love to

discuss your case and go over a few

choices we want to free you as soon as

possible so that you can bring your

message back to your fans well good

that's all I want this ought to be easy

great Callahan briefed me on your

meeting and there is a significant

amount of evidence against you to free

you the jury is going to need to hear an

alibi not going to

happen even though it could save you yep

if you put me on that stand I'm going to

be be forced to lie okay Miss wendam if

we can't hear an alibi then you should

accept a plea bargain and admit to

something that I didn't do but with a

plea bargain you'd get out in a couple

of years that sounds reasonable right

reasonable to do time for my husband's

killer not really whoa she's tough yo

sister yo not

related you know what I need a legal

team that knows I'm innocent get out of

here all of you

guard who is the girl with loyal friends

and

true who who has a bond as strong as

crazy

glue

whoo who can sound the call sisters all

come through who who Delta new new

Del new new you are a Del new Del new

Del you are a

Del Delta news former UCLA president

lwoods I knew I recognized your mug shot

shut up oh yeah your DVDs Got Me In

Shape to be June in the girls of UCLA

calendar that is so great thank God

somebody on this legal team gets me

sisterhood's

forever I believe you Brooke and I will

fight with everything I have to clear

your good name but that involves an

alibi I can't tell it everyone has their

secrets for years I denied my

highlights it's beyond highlights L it's

a disgrace My secret is nuclear and if

it gets out I could lose my fitness

Empire which means everything to

me if I tell tell you will you Delta new

sister swear not to tell anybody I will

double Delta new sister swear you're

hardcore okay here it

is on the day that my husband was killed

I

had what my you lipo suction minimally

evasive outpatient lipo B lipo Windom

your time's up I had to do it serious

cottage cheese was showing up on my

ass your secret safe with me my

followers are depending on me I cannot

let them down you have to take care of

me all you SW

L there you are where's Brooke the guard

just took her back great but I got The

Alibi you're kidding what so what is

it I'm afraid I can't tell you why not

because I double deltan new sister swore

not to L this is not some little sority

thing oh I know it's a big sorority

thing but don't worry Brook really had

nothing to do with

this think about it Brooks a Fitness

Queen exercise gives you endorphins and

endorphins make you happy happy people

just don't

kill EMT a

word L are you serious if you don't give

up The Alibi we will all lose this case

well then I guess we're not very good

lawyers would you stop being a

Marilyn look poar I

L Callahan wants that alibi give it to

him and you can sail through law school

knowing that there's a big fat job offer

waiting for you and you get out but I

gave Brook my word so what who cares who

cares damn it let me be very clear this

is your chance I gave you simple

instructions lead This legal team and

get me an alibi you're zero for

two everyone field trips over let's go

back to

work except you two I'd rather not see

ratty corduroy or Legally Blonde against

today EMT I'm sorry I don't need you to

be sorry I need you to tell me The Alibi

well I can't because I gave Brooke my

word but having an alibi is not the only

way to win this case no but it sure

would help work with me we can free

Brook the right way the noble way this

is not a lifetime original movie l I'm

not interested in nobility right now I'm

more interested in Saving books life no

you're not you're more interested in

impressing Callahan well he is my boss

if I impress him he's going to make me

Associates by jeopardizing your client's

trust and our

integrity well when you put it that

way exactly you

butthead my word means something and I

know yours does

too no one's called me Butthead since

the third grade

maybe not to your

face oh come on let's get out of

here why do you always have to be right

I don't have to be when I'm with you I

just

am you want to impress Gahan I can help

Okay

how listen I love your scruffy Vibe but

Casual Friday is so not in Callahan's

vocabulary you got to look the part if

you want to get ahead L didn't your

mother ever teach you about not judging

a book by its cover she did but I also

know that books with tattered covers

stay on the shelf oh thanks a

lot this isn't a perfect world you think

I haven't been judged my whole life you

think it wasn't a good idea to make Navy

my new pink no that was a good idea I

know where are we going

exactly you trust me don't

you of course then don't stop

now

what is this

place it's called a department

store

it's it's

[Music]

beautiful first a deep

breath take it all in feel all those

hens warming your skin

smell how they pump in pure oxygen

see they

care love excuse me love the new

fragrance from

Chanel oh

no thank you I know you're scared

nevertheless think of the people you

want to impress so allow your pride for

me just not yes and

prepare cuz something's in the air I

think it's love exactly here you become

what you're supposed to be you think you

can't but you

can think of the guy you want most to be

here's your chance to make it so take it

like a

man what does she want not really sure

why can't we leave things the way that

they were why can I never say no to her

what's that smell subtext by Calvin

Klein that I don't like that's kind of

neat guys who wear that get beat up on

my street still I've come this far I

can't retreat in my

shell I'm in the hands of

H what the hell here you'll become what

you're supposed to be you think you

can't but you

can the guy you to be your chance to

make it so take it like

a God I love shopping for guys okay this

is strange watching them change right

before my eyes don't watch me change

look at him striking a POS his

confidence grows like a r it's just

closed I

loveo okay this is nice in a walk out a

is this the price don't worry this is my

treat there's someone I'd like you to

[Applause]

be

w i look like

Warner

yeah but it's just me

that's the best

part the outside is

new but now it reflects what's already

in you couldn't change that if I wanted

to and I do not thank you no thank you

this is no gift it's payment and kind

cuz you saw beyond all the blond in my

mind oh we've got to buy this what are

you blind you look

hot you become what you're suppos to be

you think you but

you think the guy you want to be not

quite the guy either chose to be but

when she's standing so close to me I

think I like her playing

a chance to make it a chance to make it

[Music]

[Applause]

take

[Applause]

[Music]

now you ready for your big trial are you

sure you don't want me to paint little

gabbles on them for you that's okay

pette that may be a bit too much all

right classy lawyer pink it is oh when

those jury people see your nails they'll

know they can trust you which is more

than what my team is doing they are all

over me to give up Brooks Alibi

including your friend emit well he's on

the team too in more ways than one oh oh

I've seen the way he looks at you

bu he's just my friend oh right well I

could is a friend like

[Music]

that I've got a

package for Miss paet

bonafonte the name's

Kyle this is my new route and the first

stop of the

day kind of cool karma

huh

all righty

then do me a favor have yourself a super

[Music]

day

[Music]

oh oh my

go the new UPS guy is like walking

porn so talk to him already oh yeah

you're right oh honey I can't talk to

guys like that I'm not like you I've got

nothing to offer that's so not

true

oh my god did you see that she's got the

most perfect vendant Snap I've ever seen

you're a natural hi

poette I see dead

people oh no this is just my Greek

chorus I am so psyched you can see them

too now but I haven't had any

Jagger when your bendon snap has that

much snap it's been known to alter all

laws of physics and logic what are they

talking bend and snap the bend and snap

that's good that's real good it's a move

invented by UCLA cheerleaders to break

the will of the opposing team but it

also has real world applications the

benon snap is 99.99% effective on

straight men Oh great cuz I have such a

good track record with

them okay okay I see the problem here

and it's not physical no it's spiritual

poette just needs a little spirit and

Serena knows about

Spirit she is a UCLA cheer team

[Music]

leader cheerleaders scare

me

Paulette do you know why cheerleaders

always get the guy and keep the

guy because you jump around and show

your

panties

yes and and because we command and

demand attention for real you must

become the cheerleader you fear yeah you

got the pom poms it's time to to

shake ready oh my

[Music]

[Applause]

okay look at my ass look at my thighs

I'm catnip to the guys they chase my

tail they drool and pant want to touch

this but they can't all the boys want to

come in play snap my fingers and they

obey why do they follow me around all

day watch Me While I walk the

away feel how hot it's

getting and when you got s the

[Music]

Trap oh that's easy for you to say girl

if you want to make the team then make

some self-esteem the more you jump

around and scream then the sexier you

seem sorry girls that ain't how I play

this wouldn't work if I Tred all day I

got to go get my asthma spray watch Me

While I walk away wa before you walk

away look how good you're

get right

[Music]

now it's not the time to overthink just

try it once he'll buy you a

[Music]

drink excuse me would you teach me that

I'm tired of living alone with my cash

sure nowadays I do die jobs and curls

but here's how we did it in the Lor

[Music]

girl time chew it and we'll go away okay

okay okay

[Music]

okay

Dam

hey wait a second when I beckon look how

the guys came running like

ack like a freaking Wicked will you pay

for stuff I buy and Bake Me cake and pie

and hold me when I cry that will tell

you why I'm to rocking a lock away all

the boys coming away dropping Jaws from

a away watching how I walk away love to

watch her walk

away now look at it's

get right

now I on my it it I on

my I my

the

with

my I'm

to I'm going to get

some oh let did I leave my

stylus do

it

[Music]

oh

[Music]

crap in day three of the brook Windom

murder trial da Joyce Riley has been

grilling Nikos arit tacos Mrs windham's

pool boy all morning the waters could

get dicey let's hope the defense pack

their floaties Katie which is why you

should clarify for the court it exactly

what your duties were as the pool

boy cleaning the

pool wow total hone alert my God EMT is

that you El took me shopping EMT you

look sharp choc one up forel so Mr RG

tacos could you explain to the court

what exhibit a is that was my

uniform and was it Brooks idea to have

you wear this uniform yes and could you

tell the court exactly what your

relationship was to the

defendant Brook and I were

lovers no for the questions he was your

lover no ad Delta new would never sleep

with a man in a

thong I just like to watch him clean the

filters it's unbelievable you're all

making me look like an ass up there your

honor I request a 10-minute

[Music]

recess oh oh I'm so sorry I'll take this

outside Sor why didn't I Know About This

Disaster all right it is a setback it's

motive EMT pette what's up oh hey L I

just had to call and thank you the bend

and snap worked I may have broken Kyle's

nose but I got to spend 4 and a half

hours with him in the ambulance and at

the ER and it was the most romantic time

I've ever had in my entire

life that is so great I told you the

benett snap is infallible unless the guy

is gay or something

I got to go bye oh okay

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

bye watch

this did you see it see what um no maybe

you should do it one more

time

please Nikos couldn't have had the

affair with Brook I just did the Ben and

snap in front of him and nothing clearly

he must be gay Nikos did leave a share

City in the pool house once wait wait

you want to out this guy on the stand oh

that's crazy you can't build a legal

strategy on the bendon snap we need a

defense not a dance move so you think he

perjured himself but you can't prove it

you know if you're wrong we look

desperate and homophobic but if she's

right and I know I am there right there

look at that tanel tended skin look at

the killer shape he's in look at that

slightly stubbly chin oh please he's gay

totally gay I'm not about to celebrate

every trait could indicate a totally

straight expatriate this guy's not gay I

say not gay that is the elephant in the

room well is it relevant to assume

perfume is

autoally look at his qua and crispy

locks look at his silk translucent socks

there's the Eternal Paradox look what

we're seeing what are we seeing is he

gay or

[Music]

european y or

european it's to

guarantee or

european well hey don't look at me you

see they bring their boys up different

in those Charming foreign ports they

play peculiar Sports in shiny shirts and

Tin shorts they foreign fella the answer

could take weeks like while they you on

cheeks So Many Shades ofay depending on

the time of day the French go either way

she G or

European right there look at that

condescending smirk seen it on every guy

at work that is hat Jack that

not the elepant in

theant presume thatone in costume

[Music]

automatically so stylish and

relaxed

I think his chest is waxed but they

bring their Bo up different there it's

culturally diverse it's not a fashion

curse Hears aars A Pur they just EXO I

still crack thee yeah his accent is

Hypnotic but his shoes are pointy

toad European many shades of but if he

turns out straight I'm free at eight on

Saturday wait a minute give me a chance

to crack this guy I have an idea I'd

like to try the floor is

yours so Mr ARG

tacos this alleged affair with Miss

Windam has been going on for 2 years and

your first name again is nich and your

boyfriend's name is

Carlos sorry I Mis understand you say

boyfriend I thought you say best friend

Carlos is my best friend you

bastard you lying bastard that is it I

don't cover for you no more peoples I

have a big announcement this man is gay

I'm

up you got to stop your being a

completely closet case it's me not her

he seeing no matter what he say I swear

he never ever ever swing the other way

you are so gay you big par you play me

one you were not yesterday so it's time

a I'm proud say he's gay he's G

he's fine okay I'm

gay okay thank

you hey's

go

baby hey final p with

G to EMT for decisively turning the case

around and for nailing the pool boy ex

EMT nailed the pool

boy well I I have to share this Victory

with L to EMT and I can't believe I'm

saying this to L to l l okay but uh

since when did a finely tuned gar

qualify as a legal Victory ah but

without that GAR we wouldn't be

celebrating with champagne we'd be dead

in the water L Woods trusts her gut and

is shown more legal smarts than most my

staff she won this round making her a

good lawyer and uh while we'd still love

to hear that alibi she got by keeping it

she's never compromised the client's

Trust making her a great

one which is more than I can say for you

Warner be useful go get me a

coffee but we're drinking champagne

Splenda and

skim as for the rest of you go home get

a good night's sleep I need you all

sharp tomorrow morning

Miss Woods could I have a word of course

I'll catch up with you in a

second thank you Professor Callahan for

for what you said before it meant a lot

to me well you deserved it uh don't tell

the other lost students I said so I have

a scary reputation to uphold oh don't

worry your secret is safe with

me um but I uh I really do appreciate

this opportunity to work with you I have

learned so much no what you've learned

isn't the point you have instincts and

instincts legal or otherwise can't be

taught trust your

instincts I thought you were smarter

than

that is this the only reason you gave me

the

internship it's been nice working with

you miss Woods you can can show yourself

[Music]

out well hello Marilyn looks like you'll

make partner now I mean you really

earned it Warner shut

[Music]

up

take back the books and pack up the

clothes clear out the room and drop off

the

key leave with what's left of my

dignity get in the car and just go

[Music]

chalk it all up to

experience they said I'd fail but I

disagreed who could say then where my

path would

lead well now I

know back to the

sun back to the shore back to what I was

before back where I'm own back in my own

very small

P laugh with my friends when I arrive

we'll drop the top and just

drive that's fine with me just let me

be Legally

Blond

[Music]

there she is intern of the

year thanks for your help and for all

you've

done thank you for treating me decently

what's wrong maybe someday you can visit

me give me a call say hello wait where

are you going sorry I'm letting down

everyone what brought on this you did

your best with a hopeless case that's

ludicrous you are the best thing about

this place well you should know tell a

hand hit on

me he

what he kissed me then he fired me and

he made it very clear I don't belong

here he's wrong hey we'll fix it we'll

fight it EMT

please there's no reason for me to

stay

What about

love I never mentioned

love the timing's bad I

know but perhaps if i' made it more

clear that you belong right here you

wouldn't have to

go cuz you know that I'm so much in love

to the sun back to the shore back to

pleas will you open the

[Music]

the

don't we know your words so much

more to

smile if you can hear can I just say how

much I want you to

stay it's not up to me just let me

be Legally Blond I need you to stand

it's not up to

me just let me

[Music]

be

legally

BL

come on Rufus come on Rufus oh good boy

good boy good boy Rufus

sit good dog wow he really likes you and

I like him oh well hey thanks for

walking Rufus for me was the least I

could do consider consider this training

uh thank you for staying by me at the

hospital oh believe me the pleasure was

all

mine well I should get back to my route

now duty

[Music]

calls duty calls he's all that and he

has a job oh come on Rufus it's time for

your manicure good

boy be go

poette I Just Came to Say Goodbye what

goodbye I'm going back home to

California what California why back to

where I make sense honey you're not

making any now what

happened all of this time I thought it

was proving myself in making a

difference but it turns out I'm just one

big blonde joke and that's all anybody's

ever going to see wait a second that's

not what I

see we girl girls have to stick together

and maybe Warner saw a blonde who was

sleeping her way to the top but all I

see is a woman who doesn't have

to I used to pray for the day you'd

leave swore up and down you did not

belong Lu when I'm wrong then I say I'm

wrong and I was wrong about you so

listen up I see no end to what you'll

achieve that's only if you don't turn

and run you proved it to me now show it

everyone what you can do and you look

great in dark blue get back in the game

back on the case take a good look at my

face I'm not a fool and it's the rule I

do not

fall but I see AAR you're my new you got

the best freaking

SHO

sorry Vivian you keep it but I'm never

wearing that

again L honey you're in the supply

collet I know I said I've never wearing

that again I'm wearing

this in my back to the trial but I'm

going back in my

sty it's a fact when you're protack got

to

resp my me my I'm an

American

[Music]

nobody

[Applause]

oh my

God be

a honey look she's leading a parade mom

and dad take a

picture just one more

please everyone say cheese no say

legally

[Applause]

[Music]

blun

oh my god oh thanks GRE chorus but I

don't need voices in my head today hone

us the girls of we came to see

President

legally you got a right to be

legally poette what's going on oh well

we're all just cheering on our friend

now I've got another package for you oh

thanks Kyle B o bo hey what does the be

stand for

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

Brendan

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

w

[Music]

w

[Music]

back in the game back in the back the

hell out

every Mr you're fired guess who I hired

to represent me you got to be yeah you

got to be

[Music]

I said you're fired oh my God it's so a

prce yeah that show got cancelled that's

absurd L's just a law student she can't

represent you actually she can represent

Brooke your honor rule 3.03 of the

Supreme Judicial Court states that a law

student Miss lwoods may represent a

defendant in criminal proceedings only

if she has a licensed attorney to

supervis and without me she does not yes

she does I'm licensed your honor I'll

gladly supervise well I tell you will

you work for me remember no I work for

myself and I don't have to hit on

interns

Professor enjoy prison Miss Windam okay

bye as I live in GRE everything you

do thank you EMT did you actually think

I was going to let you get away um Miss

Woods in a day now you may proceed call

your first

Witness

we call Miss Chutney Windham to the

stand oh my God TTP total tragic

[Music]

perm Miss

Windam what was your relationship to the

deceased he was my

father and um did you actually see the

murder take place no I was in the shower

but when I got out I saw Brooke standing

over my father's body drenched in his

blood oh boy we're screwed don't listen

to him L you're

fine go

ahead Miss

Windam on the day of the murder did you

see anyone suspicious hanging around

suspiciously hanging around my shower uh

uh no before

that I was out getting a

perm but then you came home and took a

shower yes I was in the shower how many

your honor I would like to go to the

bathroom shouldn't you have gone before

the murder trial no I mean I would like

us to all go to the bathroom together

why do girls always do

that I mean I would like everyone to

return to the bathroom where this

alleged shower took place

I'll allow with Miss

[Music]

Woods at the scene of the crime but I

hope she's not wasting my time it poette

can you do this for me yeah yeah sure

sure going to do it on the to the scene

of the

crime to prove at the scene of the crime

here we are the crime scene scene of the

crime watch where you walk it's the SC

of the don't a CH it's the SC of the

oh my God

we with the cour stenographer please

read that back oh my God we BR it's aa

oh no before that oh witness yes I was

in the shower I thank

you now miss Windom you claim on the day

of the murder you were out getting a

perm was this your first perm no I've

permed my hair since junior high about

three a year

interesting my associate has just gotten

a perm herself today exhibit B Miss Enit

[Music]

Hoops thank you Miss

[Music]

bonafonte now would exhibit be's perm be

similar to your own du and one more time

you didn't see the murder or hear The

Gunshot because you were where in the

shower thank you Miss Hoops would you

step into the shower please

[Music]

idiot you can't get a perm wet for 48

hours exactly water activates the perms

ammonium thy glate and completely ruins

it it's the cardinal rule of perm

maintenance your perm is still intact so

you couldn't have showered that day why

would you lie about being in the shower

why would you lie about not hearing The

Gunshot why would you act I liked being

older than my dad's new armed candy wife

I didn't mean to hurt my father I didn't

mean to shoot him I thought it was Brook

coming through the

door oh my

God oh my God oh my God oh my

God oh my God oh my God hold on bad

enough that I'm in a John take her into

custody you're free and we apologize oh

my God if the dream come true I just

knew I could count on you and no one had

to know that I had lipos suction on my

[Music]

thighs oh my

God I think someone needs to talk to

you as it's okay

I'm I'm going to see you

[Music]

later El to think I didn't take you

seriously I was

wrong thank you Warner we do belong

together you showed me who we could

be together

again oh

Warner Vivian dumped you didn't

[Music]

she thought I dreamed of this day long

ago now my answer is thank you but no

look I've barely begun I'm hardly

through I was living in ignorant Bliss

till I learned I could be more than this

and you know in a way I'm I owe it all

to

you I thought losing your love was a

blow I could never

withstand but look how far I have come

without anyone holding my

hand I had to find my way the day you

broke my heart you handed me the chance

to make a brand new start you helped me

find my way there's still so much to

learn so many dreams to earn but even if

I crash and burn 10 times a day I think

I'm here to

stay I'm going to find my

way William shakes spe wrote to thine

own self be true and it must follow as

the night the day thou can not then be

false to any

man I believe this wise statement best

applies to a woman a blonde woman over

the past 3 years she taught me and

showed us all that being true to

yourself never goes out of style ladies

and gentlemen our valedictorian

Elward ladies and gentlemen of the class

of 20 here's a part where she gives her

big speech we're so proud but El's not

want to preach so she said we could play

where are they now here we go en it

practices family law Vivian's training

for the Peace Corp Warner quit said he

makes more modeling

anyhow Callahan ran for governor but was

defeated of course

and his wife hired emit to handle their

messy

divorce and me I think I'll find my way

and hey I married Kyle and now we have

two kids and one more on the way and we

live out in wer I bought a new

salon we also featured dog grooming here

take a card oops sorry back to L I thank

you one and all the ones who thought I'd

fall who taught me how to fail who

helped me to

Prevail I'm standing here

[Music]

today

oh and if you could give me one second

before we all

go am it Forest please make me the

happiest woman I know oh my oh my oh my

God but if there ever was a perfect

couple this

not found my

I found my way to love I finally found

my we love you guys no we love you guys

oh my God oh my God oh my

God oh my

God

[Applause]

[Applause]

w

[Applause]

a

he

a