All language subtitles for Mo Amer Schools Islamophobes About All Things Muslim | The Daily Show [Py_jhRSEBRE].en

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Original subtitles

What's up, guys? I'm Mo Ammer. Before we

What's up, guys? I'm Mo Ammer. Before we

What's up, guys? I'm Mo Ammer. Before we get started, I should confess something.

get started, I should confess something.

get started, I should confess something. Mo is actually my nickname. My full name

Mo is actually my nickname. My full name

Mo is actually my nickname. My full name is

is

is Muhammad.

You're welcome. It's the most popular

You're welcome. It's the most popular

You're welcome. It's the most popular name in the world. All right. Lots of

name in the world. All right. Lots of

name in the world. All right. Lots of Muslims are named Muhammad. Muhammad

Muslims are named Muhammad. Muhammad

Muslims are named Muhammad. Muhammad Ali. Greatest of all time. Soccer

Ali. Greatest of all time. Soccer

Ali. Greatest of all time. Soccer legend. Mosalah. Hell, Sabrina Carpenter

legend. Mosalah. Hell, Sabrina Carpenter

legend. Mosalah. Hell, Sabrina Carpenter just changed your name to Muhammad.

just changed your name to Muhammad.

just changed your name to Muhammad. We accept your apology, girl. Be cool.

We accept your apology, girl. Be cool.

We accept your apology, girl. Be cool. Just chill.

Just chill.

Just chill. But for some reason, being afraid of

But for some reason, being afraid of

But for some reason, being afraid of Muslims is really trendy right now.

Muslims is really trendy right now.

Muslims is really trendy right now. >> Islam is not compatible with Western

>> Islam is not compatible with Western

>> Islam is not compatible with Western civilization.

civilization.

civilization. >> That's not a religion. That's a cult.

>> That's not a religion. That's a cult.

>> That's not a religion. That's a cult. >> They are here to impose their way of

>> They are here to impose their way of

>> They are here to impose their way of life on all of you.

life on all of you.

life on all of you. >> I've said it once and I'll say it again.

>> I've said it once and I'll say it again.

>> I've said it once and I'll say it again. Deport them all. Congressman Randy Fine

Deport them all. Congressman Randy Fine

Deport them all. Congressman Randy Fine of Florida explicitly saying, quote, "We

of Florida explicitly saying, quote, "We

of Florida explicitly saying, quote, "We need more Islamophobia, not less."

need more Islamophobia, not less."

need more Islamophobia, not less." >> Stand with radical Islam. And you can

>> Stand with radical Islam. And you can

>> Stand with radical Islam. And you can Allah Akbar your butt all the way back

Allah Akbar your butt all the way back

Allah Akbar your butt all the way back to the Middle East.

>> What? What? Allah Akbar means God is

>> What? What? Allah Akbar means God is

>> What? What? Allah Akbar means God is great. You want me to God is great my

great. You want me to God is great my

great. You want me to God is great my tutkas back to the Middle East. Are you

tutkas back to the Middle East. Are you

tutkas back to the Middle East. Are you HAVING A STROKE? YOU NEED TO TELL TO A

HAVING A STROKE? YOU NEED TO TELL TO A

HAVING A STROKE? YOU NEED TO TELL TO A DOCTOR ASAP.

DOCTOR ASAP.

DOCTOR ASAP. SHEESH. It turned up the Islamophobia

SHEESH. It turned up the Islamophobia

SHEESH. It turned up the Islamophobia all the way up to a 10 or at least

all the way up to a 10 or at least

all the way up to a 10 or at least somewhere between nine and 11. Uh

somewhere between nine and 11. Uh

somewhere between nine and 11. Uh I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know WE DIDN'T DO IT. OKAY, GEORGE

I know WE DIDN'T DO IT. OKAY, GEORGE

I know WE DIDN'T DO IT. OKAY, GEORGE BUSH DID IT.

>> ANYWAY,

>> ANYWAY,

>> ANYWAY, this is where your old pal Mohammer

this is where your old pal Mohammer

this is where your old pal Mohammer comes in. I grew up in Houston, Texas

comes in. I grew up in Houston, Texas

comes in. I grew up in Houston, Texas with the first name Muhammad. So I'm

with the first name Muhammad. So I'm

with the first name Muhammad. So I'm kind of an expert in Islamophobia.

kind of an expert in Islamophobia.

kind of an expert in Islamophobia. Although although some people assume my

Although although some people assume my

Although although some people assume my name was Hector Gomez.

name was Hector Gomez.

name was Hector Gomez. Saludos mis amigos.

Saludos mis amigos.

Saludos mis amigos. But I want to tell you something right

But I want to tell you something right

But I want to tell you something right now. I've been hearing your Islamophobia

now. I've been hearing your Islamophobia

now. I've been hearing your Islamophobia and and I'm offended. Not not from the

and and I'm offended. Not not from the

and and I'm offended. Not not from the hate, but because it's so inaccurate.

hate, but because it's so inaccurate.

hate, but because it's so inaccurate. For example, I've been seeing you, a lot

For example, I've been seeing you, a lot

For example, I've been seeing you, a lot of you do this.

of you do this.

of you do this. >> Here's your kryptonite, Muslims. Here's

>> Here's your kryptonite, Muslims. Here's

>> Here's your kryptonite, Muslims. Here's your kryptonite.

your kryptonite.

your kryptonite. >> Ma'am, you have a pig on top of a

>> Ma'am, you have a pig on top of a

>> Ma'am, you have a pig on top of a >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. >> stick right now. What made you bring a

>> stick right now. What made you bring a

>> stick right now. What made you bring a pig out here today?

pig out here today?

pig out here today? >> I just want to stay safe and I know they

>> I just want to stay safe and I know they

>> I just want to stay safe and I know they won't get close to Hogs.

>> Lady, you're doing too much. All right.

>> Lady, you're doing too much. All right.

>> Lady, you're doing too much. All right. You don't need that pig head to keep us

You don't need that pig head to keep us

You don't need that pig head to keep us away. That hat and that eye patch are

away. That hat and that eye patch are

away. That hat and that eye patch are enough.

AND and and by the way, we're definitely

AND and and by the way, we're definitely

AND and and by the way, we're definitely not intimidated when YOU LEAVE THE PRICE

not intimidated when YOU LEAVE THE PRICE

not intimidated when YOU LEAVE THE PRICE TAG ON.

TAG ON.

TAG ON. Are you planning to return it? I mean,

Are you planning to return it? I mean,

Are you planning to return it? I mean, that that poor guy at Home Depot is

that that poor guy at Home Depot is

that that poor guy at Home Depot is like, "Ma'am, I told you all pig head on

like, "Ma'am, I told you all pig head on

like, "Ma'am, I told you all pig head on stick sales are final."

But listen, Islamophobes, bacon is not

But listen, Islamophobes, bacon is not

But listen, Islamophobes, bacon is not our kryptonite. I mean, what do you

our kryptonite. I mean, what do you

our kryptonite. I mean, what do you think happens to us? You think I walk

think happens to us? You think I walk

think happens to us? You think I walk into a Denny's and go, "WHAT'S THAT

into a Denny's and go, "WHAT'S THAT

into a Denny's and go, "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

SMELL?

SMELL? MY POWERS. MY POWERS. I LOST MY SHARIA

MY POWERS. MY POWERS. I LOST MY SHARIA

MY POWERS. MY POWERS. I LOST MY SHARIA SUPER SIGHT." OH, NO.

SUPER SIGHT." OH, NO.

SUPER SIGHT." OH, NO. And for the record, we're not supposed

And for the record, we're not supposed

And for the record, we're not supposed to. And for the record, you're not

to. And for the record, you're not

to. And for the record, you're not supposed to eat pork either. Right.

supposed to eat pork either. Right.

supposed to eat pork either. Right. That's in the Bible, too. Leviticus uh

That's in the Bible, too. Leviticus uh

That's in the Bible, too. Leviticus uh 11:7.

11:7.

11:7. I I stay at a lot of hotels. I'm lonely.

You all give us way too much credit. Uh,

You all give us way too much credit. Uh,

You all give us way too much credit. Uh, you even act like we've taken over

you even act like we've taken over

you even act like we've taken over entire continents.

entire continents.

entire continents. >> Islam has conquered Europe. They've been

>> Islam has conquered Europe. They've been

>> Islam has conquered Europe. They've been taken over by the Muslims.

taken over by the Muslims.

taken over by the Muslims. >> London is basically London stand.

>> London is basically London stand.

>> London is basically London stand. >> Germany fully conquered by Islam. It

>> Germany fully conquered by Islam. It

>> Germany fully conquered by Islam. It would appear.

would appear.

would appear. >> We lost New York.

>> We lost New York.

>> We lost New York. >> During Ramadan, New Yorkers are now

>> During Ramadan, New Yorkers are now

>> During Ramadan, New Yorkers are now waking up to this.

>> That's not Iraq. It's not Afghanistan.

>> That's not Iraq. It's not Afghanistan.

>> That's not Iraq. It's not Afghanistan. That's Time Square.

That's Time Square.

That's Time Square. Time Square.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time Square. You

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time Square. You

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time Square. You going to blame You're going to blame us

going to blame You're going to blame us

going to blame You're going to blame us for noise in Time Square?

for noise in Time Square?

for noise in Time Square? IT'S TIME SQUARE.

IT'S TIME SQUARE.

IT'S TIME SQUARE. These Muslims are keeping us up all

These Muslims are keeping us up all

These Muslims are keeping us up all night, all hours in a city that doesn't

night, all hours in a city that doesn't

night, all hours in a city that doesn't sleep. Hey, I want to be a part of it.

sleep. Hey, I want to be a part of it.

sleep. Hey, I want to be a part of it. Islam. Islam

Islam. Islam

Islam. Islam start. All right. All right. All right,

start. All right. All right. All right,

start. All right. All right. All right, I'm getting carried away here. Listen,

I'm getting carried away here. Listen,

I'm getting carried away here. Listen, guys. Listen, listen, listen, listen.

guys. Listen, listen, listen, listen.

guys. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Here's my theory. You say you dislike

Here's my theory. You say you dislike

Here's my theory. You say you dislike Muslims, but I think you just hate New

Muslims, but I think you just hate New

Muslims, but I think you just hate New York. You're You're not Islamophobic.

York. You're You're not Islamophobic.

York. You're You're not Islamophobic. You're New York because you constantly

You're New York because you constantly

You're New York because you constantly blame us for normal New York stuff. The

blame us for normal New York stuff. The

blame us for normal New York stuff. The New York Mets, they are on an 11game

New York Mets, they are on an 11game

New York Mets, they are on an 11game losing streak, including Oh, right after

losing streak, including Oh, right after

losing streak, including Oh, right after the mayor met and hugged the team

the mayor met and hugged the team

the mayor met and hugged the team mascot, Mr. met at City Field on April

mascot, Mr. met at City Field on April

mascot, Mr. met at City Field on April 9th, a phenomenon people are calling the

9th, a phenomenon people are calling the

9th, a phenomenon people are calling the mom Donnie curse.

mom Donnie curse.

mom Donnie curse. DON'T YOU DARE PUT THE METS ON US. OKAY,

DON'T YOU DARE PUT THE METS ON US. OKAY,

DON'T YOU DARE PUT THE METS ON US. OKAY, they cursed themselves. You think we

they cursed themselves. You think we

they cursed themselves. You think we would waste an ancient curse on the

would waste an ancient curse on the

would waste an ancient curse on the Mets?

Mets?

Mets? In fact, in fact, if the Mets really

In fact, in fact, if the Mets really

In fact, in fact, if the Mets really want to win, okay, maybe they need

want to win, okay, maybe they need

want to win, okay, maybe they need Islam. Maybe. Yeah, maybe they need to

Islam. Maybe. Yeah, maybe they need to

Islam. Maybe. Yeah, maybe they need to pray five times a day. Yeah, pray five

pray five times a day. Yeah, pray five

pray five times a day. Yeah, pray five times a day. That's how you'll get

times a day. That's how you'll get

times a day. That's how you'll get angels in outfield.

Uh, please understand, Muslims aren't

Uh, please understand, Muslims aren't

Uh, please understand, Muslims aren't trying to take over the streets of New

trying to take over the streets of New

trying to take over the streets of New York. Well, may maybe just just one

York. Well, may maybe just just one

York. Well, may maybe just just one street. Just

street. Just

street. Just >> Mr. Brahmy, what does salam alalayikum

>> Mr. Brahmy, what does salam alalayikum

>> Mr. Brahmy, what does salam alalayikum mean?

mean?

mean? >> Well, salam means peace, and it's a way

>> Well, salam means peace, and it's a way

>> Well, salam means peace, and it's a way to say hello in Arabic.

to say hello in Arabic.

to say hello in Arabic. >> Oh, cool. Oh, salam alaikum, everybody.

>> Oh, cool. Oh, salam alaikum, everybody.

>> Oh, cool. Oh, salam alaikum, everybody. >> That's so sweet.

Yes,

Yes,

Yes, that's so sweet. Peace for everyone.

that's so sweet. Peace for everyone.

that's so sweet. Peace for everyone. That makes sense. That makes Wait a

That makes sense. That makes Wait a

That makes sense. That makes Wait a second. That makes sense. Elmo's full

second. That makes sense. Elmo's full

second. That makes sense. Elmo's full name is El Mohammed.

That's why I've never seen him with Miss

That's why I've never seen him with Miss

That's why I've never seen him with Miss Piggy.

I mean, a message of peace and joy. Who

I mean, a message of peace and joy. Who

I mean, a message of peace and joy. Who could be bad at that? I wish Sesame

could be bad at that? I wish Sesame

could be bad at that? I wish Sesame Street would stick to teaching kids

Street would stick to teaching kids

Street would stick to teaching kids about letters and numbers, Laura, and

about letters and numbers, Laura, and

about letters and numbers, Laura, and leave the Arabic immersion to someone

leave the Arabic immersion to someone

leave the Arabic immersion to someone else. By the way, there's no record of

else. By the way, there's no record of

else. By the way, there's no record of Sesame Workshop posting a Jewish

Sesame Workshop posting a Jewish

Sesame Workshop posting a Jewish Heritage Day, Italian Heritage Day, or

Heritage Day, Italian Heritage Day, or

Heritage Day, Italian Heritage Day, or Irish Heritage Day. We looked

Irish Heritage Day. We looked

Irish Heritage Day. We looked >> Oh, you looked. You looked. You looked.

>> Oh, you looked. You looked. You looked.

>> Oh, you looked. You looked. You looked. Well, I don't think you looked hot

Well, I don't think you looked hot

Well, I don't think you looked hot enough, sweetheart.

enough, sweetheart.

enough, sweetheart. >> I can't say for certain, but I think

>> I can't say for certain, but I think

>> I can't say for certain, but I think we're going to

we're going to

we're going to Irish death

Irish death

Irish death >> from all of us at Sesame Street. We just

>> from all of us at Sesame Street. We just

>> from all of us at Sesame Street. We just want to say

want to say

want to say >> happy.

>> happy.

>> happy. >> Chef Elmo knows what that is. That's

>> Chef Elmo knows what that is. That's

>> Chef Elmo knows what that is. That's rigetony.

rigetony.

rigetony. >> Rieton.

>> Rieton.

>> Rieton. That was a hard R. Elmo. I got to say

That was a hard R. Elmo. I got to say

That was a hard R. Elmo. I got to say I'm a rigetony. I don't feel

I'm a rigetony. I don't feel

I'm a rigetony. I don't feel comfortable.

comfortable.

comfortable. But see, why wouldn't they celebrate

But see, why wouldn't they celebrate

But see, why wouldn't they celebrate multiple cultures? Sesame Street is a

multiple cultures? Sesame Street is a

multiple cultures? Sesame Street is a diverse show. They got birds, frogs,

diverse show. They got birds, frogs,

diverse show. They got birds, frogs, coked out elephants.

coked out elephants.

coked out elephants. I mean, LOOK AT HIS PUPILS. WHO LET THIS

I mean, LOOK AT HIS PUPILS. WHO LET THIS

I mean, LOOK AT HIS PUPILS. WHO LET THIS GUY ON A KID SHOW? HE'S DOING LINES LIKE

All right.

All right.

All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right.

All right. All right. And that brings me to my final critique.

And that brings me to my final critique.

And that brings me to my final critique. Islamophobes,

Islamophobes,

Islamophobes, do your research because I have. And

do your research because I have. And

do your research because I have. And here it is. Muslims invented algebra,

here it is. Muslims invented algebra,

here it is. Muslims invented algebra, hospitals, universities, the camera,

hospitals, universities, the camera,

hospitals, universities, the camera, even algorithms, just to name a few. And

even algorithms, just to name a few. And

even algorithms, just to name a few. And if you right-wing Christians dislike

if you right-wing Christians dislike

if you right-wing Christians dislike Middle Eastern people and eating with

Middle Eastern people and eating with

Middle Eastern people and eating with your hands and teaching people about

your hands and teaching people about

your hands and teaching people about kindness, I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS FOR YOU

kindness, I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS FOR YOU

kindness, I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS FOR YOU ABOUT JESUS.

He was Middle Eastern from Palestine,

He was Middle Eastern from Palestine,

He was Middle Eastern from Palestine, spoke Aramaic, a Seemetic language, and

spoke Aramaic, a Seemetic language, and

spoke Aramaic, a Seemetic language, and handed people bread with his hands. And

handed people bread with his hands. And

handed people bread with his hands. And by the way, most Muslims aren't even

by the way, most Muslims aren't even

by the way, most Muslims aren't even Arab and most Arab Americans are

Arab and most Arab Americans are

Arab and most Arab Americans are actually Christians. And while we're at

actually Christians. And while we're at

actually Christians. And while we're at it,

it,

it, Muslims also believe in Jesus Christ.

Muslims also believe in Jesus Christ.

Muslims also believe in Jesus Christ. He's mentioned in the Quran which has an

He's mentioned in the Quran which has an

He's mentioned in the Quran which has an entire chapter named after his mother

entire chapter named after his mother

entire chapter named after his mother Mary. And we also believe in the virgin

Mary. And we also believe in the virgin

Mary. And we also believe in the virgin birth. Stop using lazy tropes to divide

birth. Stop using lazy tropes to divide

birth. Stop using lazy tropes to divide people so you can bomb other countries,

people so you can bomb other countries,

people so you can bomb other countries, creating even more refugees, making you

creating even more refugees, making you

creating even more refugees, making you more upset at Muslims in America, being

more upset at Muslims in America, being

more upset at Muslims in America, being doctors, engineers, lawyers, or selling

doctors, engineers, lawyers, or selling

doctors, engineers, lawyers, or selling you street out of delicious cars.

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