Original subtitles

It is so cute! It's perfect!

It adds to the modern farmhouse style Kenny has going on.

"Mr. & Mrs." Oh, he's going to love it.

Thank you so much.

Adorable.

Oh, Marcy, those look like real flowers.

I just can't believe you ladies have done all of this for me.

I feel so blessed.

That's what we do.

I don't know how it is at your other church, but St. Augustine is really…

- It's really family. - I love that.

I really do.

Look at this!

Just stuff it all in. I'm late for work.

- What is he doing here? - Bodhi had Gymboree.

Dad had to take him because I had to be here

watching you do church lady drag.

I am in the goddamn choir, Margo.

I am a church lady.

Hello.

- Hello. I've missed you. - A bridal shower. How lovely.

It was lovely. I understand you're coming to Vegas.

I won't get in your way. I'm there strictly as a manny.

- A manny is a man nanny. - No, I know what a fucking manny is.

Okay, sorry, I just learned the term.

I'm still bottle training Bodhi, so it's the only way that I can make it work,

since you don't want him at the wedding.

No, it's not just the wedding.

It's that we have an entire slate of adult activities planned.

And we'll be out of the way.

I would like to catch a glimpse of you in your dress,

but I'll be stealth about it.

That is inappropriate. We are at the Lord's house.

You won't even know I'm there.

I will know you're there.

Okay, so Kenny is expecting us before lunch,

- so I will pick you up bright and early. - Great.

And Dad will follow with Bodhi because you don't want to ride with the baby.

Okay, go on and stop with the "Shyanne hates babies" bullshit.

- I never said you hated babies. - Me and Bodhi are happy to follow you.

It's our own little caravan.

Bingo, bango, bongo! Vegas here we come!

Whoa! Be careful! Marcy's cake is back there. Don't smoosh it.

I don't know why you're bringing that thing.

Kenny loves Marcy's cakes.

He wanted to include people from the church in our wedding

as much as he possibly could.

Well, I mean, it all works out.

- You love Vegas. - I love Vegas,

even though I don't gamble.

Wait, you told Kenny that you don't gamble?

He doesn't need to know.

So we're going to Vegas, and you're not gonna gamble?

Well, there's plenty to do in Vegas without gambling.

- Like what? - Oh, like maybe get married.

God. For fuck's sake.

- I don't need the attitude today. - But I don't have an attitude.

- I don't have an attitude. - Okay, here comes our part.

And if we're victims of the night

I won't be blinded by the light

Just call me angel Of the morning, angel

Just touch your cheek Before you leave me, darling

Just call me angel

Marcellus's death left Julia free for Tiberius to marry.

And all would have gone well with Livia's plans

had there not been a dangerous outbreak of political unrest in Rome…

And what's wild here, champ,

is that Tiberius's first wife was Vipsania, daughter of Marcus Agrippa,

who was married to Julia,

Tiberius's stepsister,

making her also his stepmother-in-law.

It's like one big awesome pot of incestuous family gumbo.

Let's go to Vegas.

- Lips? - No.

Hey!

Look at you. I… Was it a good drive?

- Yes, but I missed you with all my bones. - Me too, me too.

Hey, there he is.

Look, it's the Jinx, live and in person.

No, no, get over here.

Hi.

I promise I won't try any of my high school wrestling moves on you.

Right.

I swear this is the most you'll see us.

- Kenneth, right? - Kenne… Kenny.

But you know, people call me Kenny, but it doesn't matter.

- Hi, Margo. - Hi.

And look at this little guy. Hi.

We really do appreciate you coming to help, Mr. Manny.

Yeah, yeah.

Dad's gonna take Bodhi to see every live animal in Vegas.

- The flamingos, the shark reef. Tigers. - Yeah. All right, let's check in.

- I gotta feed the boy. - Come on.

We've got a reservation under Hearn.

Kenneth.

Great, we have you for two rooms this evening.

Yeah, with a mini fridge.

- I put in a request for a mini fridge. - Yes, there is a mini fridge.

- Okay. - Tomorrow evening

we have you booked for the king room with balcony and pool view.

You did not. A poolside room?

Pool view, but yeah.

And you also have reserved an additional room for two nights,

and I just need a credit card for that.

Right. That's… That's you all.

The separate rooms…

Yeah, we're not… We're…

No, we're not sharing a room until our wedding night.

Visa, Mastercard, or Amex?

- Mastercard. - No. No, you don't have to.

One king or two queens?

Two queens, you fucking sicko.

Sorry, he's my dad.

He's just here to watch my baby while my mom gets married.

No need to explain.

Two queens.

I'm splitting the room with you.

I'm not letting you pay for all this.

- It's fine. - It actually isn't.

I should probably pump before this magic show

that Kenny is taking us to,

which really should be amazing.

I'm sure it will be one of the most amazing moments in your young life.

We'll just go grab some ice.

- Can you get snacks too? - Yeah.

We are about to go apeshit on a vending machine.

Apeshit.

A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

A group of crows is a murder.

A group of parrots is a pandemonium.

There are pigments called carotenoids in the algae

that brine shrimp eat,

and since a flamingo eats those shrimp, its body metabolizes the pigments,

and that's how its feathers turn pink.

Flamingos are monogamous,

and Mom and Dad both help to build the nest and incubate the egg.

How about that?

Let me get into my carpet bag of tricks, shall we?

Okay, we got a…

cloak of invisibility.

I know it doesn't look like much,

- but make no mistake… - No, thanks.

- No problem. - Speaking of mistakes,

where'd you get that dress, hon?

Did you fall in a can of red paint, or what's going on?

Where'd you buy that? Blooming Fails?

- Ouch. That was very good. - Ladies and gentlemen,

I need two audience volunteers for my next trick.

I'm getting a bulletin.

I am hearing that we have a couple who is getting married tomorrow.

And, ladies and gentlemen,

what is more romantic than getting pulled on stage

at a matinee magic show in Vegas?

Okay! Kenny and Shyanne!

Kenny and Shyanne are here.

Clap for them.

Clap for them!

Clap for them!

Yes, it's real. You're coming on stage.

Shyanne, if you wouldn't mind taking the seat of honor.

Kenny, flank the opposite flank.

Thank you so much. All right.

Now, wait.

I just wanna do the math here because you are marrying that guy?

Woof. Okay.

All right, well, it doesn't make sense to me, but hey.

Well, let me guess, a huge…

- bank account? - Okay.

No, he's in the poorhouse. Oh, well, let me guess again.

Huge…

shoe size?

Whoa, no, looks like a ladies' five. Sorry, Kenny.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

now I have two absolutely identical handkerchiefs.

I am going to tie these in a knot.

Just like the knot that you guys are gonna tie tomorrow.

Isn't that nice?

- And we want a strong knot, don't we? - Yeah.

So we're going to test the strength of that knot.

Now, Shyanne, I need you to put this next to your heart.

That's right.

Talk about cleavage, guys.

Kenny.

This is gonna test the strength of the knot

and thus the strength of your marriage.

All right. A one, a two, three!

Abracada…

Bra!

Whoa! Whoa! What is…

- Wow! Ta-da! - Okay! All right! Oh, brother.

Give me a break!

Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you…

Wait, you got a little thing sticking out right here.

Whoops! Oh, no! Oh, no!

- Oh, no! Whoa! - That's not mine. That's not mine.

- That's called a prestige. - Kenny!

Prestige. I guess it's…

I guess it's the right size for that package.

I'm in Vegas.

My mom's getting married.

I may not survive.

Bummer. We bought a bubble machine.

Hurry on back. We'll get crazy.

Can't wait.

- What? - I have to cancel my mani-ped.

- Why? - Kenny's in a bad place right now.

He's upset about that perverse magic show…

and just realized that he forgot his tie for the ceremony.

I have to help him find a new one,

so I'll have bad nails on my wedding day.

Kenny can't find a tie by himself?

He's scared that he'll get one I don't like.

Mom, go get your manicure.

I'll find Kenny a tie.

- I got it. - I love you so much.

Kenny, honey, can Margo help you find a tie?

The two of you can spend some quality time together.

That sounds really nice.

You know, I…

I would like that.

Margo would too, wouldn't you?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, I'll meet you in the lobby.

It's a date.

What about the shell-colored one?

Yeah. Right?

Or maybe not. I ju…

I don't know honestly.

I just…

Okay, maybe we should just take a little break.

No, no. I'm all right.

I'm all right. It's just…

I just can't believe I made such a tactical error

as forgetting part of my wardrobe.

And I'm sorry, Margo, about the magic show.

I didn't know that it was gonna be…

- vulgar. - It was fine.

No. No. It was dirty.

Dirty, dirty.

You know, those…

I had some man… a guy just, like,

degrading my future wife in front of an audience.

- I was… - Kenny.

- It wasn't fine. - She was okay with it. I promise.

You're such an excellent daughter.

I see the way you are with your parents.

Both of 'em.

I was very close to my parents.

You know, they were my best friends.

Devoted my life to that concept of,

you know, being of service to Mom and Dad.

And then the church.

To the exclusion of, you know…

I was beginning to think I…

missed out a little bit, you know?

So many things that I was just never…

gonna get to experience.

And then I walked into…

Bloomingdale's

to buy a polo shirt.

And my whole future just…

just cracked… cracked open.

You know, I just love your mother so much.

More than anything.

She changed my life.

I'm the luckiest man in the world, you know?

Hey.

This one.

She'll love it.

You think so?

Pinky promise.

- Okay. - Okay, let's get back to the hotel.

- We gotta get ready for dinner. - Okay.

We found one.

Thank you, Margo.

- This is so elegant, Kenny. - Yeah.

And you know what? We're celebrating.

So, as a matter of fact, how about a round of piña coladas?

- Three piña coladas. - Yeah.

Three virgin piña coladas, please. Thanks.

You gotta tell 'em, or we'll all end up drunk.

Yeah.

Hey, I told Margo I wanted to apologize

for getting a little bent out of shape

- about the magic show. - It's fine.

Stereo.

You know, I just felt like I could have been a better sport

- about the whole thing, and… - It's fine.

Ground control to Kenny. Wow.

You know, it does occur to me, Margo, that…

I'm not only marrying your mom,

I'm also marrying the family.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, and I just want you to know that I'm gonna be there for you.

I am a dependable male figure that you can count on…

that doesn't have a second family…

- Kenny, honey, no. - …and hasn't, well…

Jinx is not a bad person, you know? It's…

He's here to help out right now with…

- Well, I know that. I'm sorry. I… - Thank you so much.

- I'm… - Wow. This is amazing.

This drink is yummy.

- It is. It's a work of art. - It's that good?

- Really good. - Okay, well,

maybe we should order anyway.

Yeah, my bride-to-be will have

the scallops. She'll love 'em.

- I'm sure I will. - Sounds good. Scallops.

And I will have…

I'm performing my ablutions.

I got it.

You put those milk machines to good use in a tight titty top or something.

Kenny's asleep and we're going out.

You too, Mr. Manny.

I have to watch Bodhi.

Nah. We'll just sneak him in the Bottom Dollar.

The Bottom Dollar?

You don't say.

I'm pretty sure a baby can't go to a bar.

Just wear my coat and hide the little dump lump in it.

That's it.

I want a real deal bachelorette party,

and you will not deny me.

Okay. There you go.

Be quiet.

- Yes. - Beginner's luck.

All right. That's how it goes sometimes.

Hey, I just wanna thank you for having me out tonight.

- This is… This is really fun. - Yeah. Well…

I knew you'd be good for a wild night out.

You're really getting married.

Yeah. I really am. Yeah.

Goddamn.

I missed out.

A wedding night with you.

Yeah, well, I am spoken for, sir.

You remember that bathroom?

It was the best seven minutes of my life.

You blew it.

I know.

Yeah.

Could've had me.

- Shyanne-- - But you blew it.

- Fuck. - Is that a fucking baby?

This isn't something I, like, normally do.

- I got him. - Are you fucking kidding me?

- No. It's okay, it's okay. - Fuck.

Just pop him over.

- Okay? - Okay.

You go ahead. You two have fun.

Hey, lumberjack man!

What? Did you meet somebody in there?

Just enjoying a baby-less pee.

Yeah, that bathroom is surprisingly comfortable. It's roomy.

Okay, I got it. You and Dad banged in there.

Margo.

What is the deal with you guys?

What?

This song.

Because in the midnight hour She cried, "More, more, more"

With a rebel yell She cried, "More, more, more"

I love it when you sing.

Oh, God. You won't after tomorrow.

What do you mean? You've been practicing that duet for weeks.

No. I just… It's just…

It's just, you know, I gotta… I gotta really feel the music

and, you know, like, in my gut,

and I try and I… I just don't feel anything with that song.

When I hear it, when I try to sing it, I just…

Fucking Elvis.

Oh, my God. "Let It Be Me" is just such an ass-licker of a song.

Well, maybe it's not the song.

What do you mean?

You know, you don't have to get married tomorrow if you don't want to.

Kenny is a good man.

Yeah, he's such a good man.

- He's kind. He's stable. - So kind. So stable.

And he wants me by his side till the day he dies.

That… No man has ever loved me like he does.

Can't you…

even pretend to be happy for me?

Mom, I am so happy for you.

I'm happy for me too.

Here you go, ladies.

Look what we have here.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

I'd walk the world for you

A thousand miles with you

I'd sell my soul for you

For money to burn for you

I'd give you all and have none, baby

Just to, just to, just to, just to To have you here by me, me, me, me

- My mom's getting married too! Yes! - Yes!

Come on! Come on!

Okay, I'll have buffalo wings and the shrimp mac and cheese, please.

I'll have my own order of buffalo wings…

bone-in.

And two Diet Cokes.

- This so fun. - Right? I know.

So…

Something borrowed.

It's Bodhi's. I thought you could use it as a handkerchief during the ceremony.

Did Susie make this?

Something blue.

You have to hide that.

- Okay. - Something old.

- Okay. - You remember that?

No.

It is from when we drove all the way to the Grand Canyon,

and we just looked at it and bought some Sour Patch Kids

and then drove all the way back because I had school the next day.

So I kept this rock from that trip.

I love this so much.

I love you so much.

Something new?

What?

Something old. Something blue. Something borrowed. Something new.

- There's no new here. You forgot the new. - Shit.

That's why they make it rhyme, so people remember it.

God, I'm such an idiot.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't say it.

You…

Something new.

It's from the hotel's jewelry store.

It's solid 14 karat.

How did you even…

- Oh, Margo, you can't afford this. - Here, let me put it on.

Oh, my gosh. I can't believe you did this.

Of course I did! You're getting married!

I don't deserve you.

How did you turn out so well?

Oh, my God, I was just such a terrible mother.

What? You're the best mom in the whole world.

No, no. I…

I couldn't give you the life that you deserved.

- What? - The things you deserved.

What are you talking about?

Oh, for Christ's sake, you had to grow up with a mother who worked at Hooters.

What? There's nothing wrong with working at Hooters.

There's nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to take care of your child.

I do OnlyFans.

That's funny. You're funny.

I'm… I'm sorry… I'm…

You're… You're doing…

What… Is that pornography?

No, it's not pornography. I'm not having sex on camera.

Oh, my God, Margo. Oh, my God.

No, it's basically just pictures of me in my underwear.

- No. No, no, no, no, no. - No, I promise, Mom.

- No, baby, you can't do that. - Mom, it's not what you think it is.

You're quitting.

Now. Okay, you're done.

Just… Just get another job.

Mom, I can't just go

- and just get another job. - This is not a request.

This is how I'm able to take care of Dad and Bodhi.

And, I mean, how the hell are you yelling at me about this?

You think this is funny?

You have destroyed your life forever.

Mom, stop!

You're…

You're a sex worker, Margo.

- No, I'm not having sex. - You're selling it.

This is about building a brand.

No, no, no, no.

This is about you giving people

everything they need in order to decide that you are a piece of trash.

That isn't worth shit.

It is about losing the respect of every single person

who would ever help your sorry ass, even a little bit.

God… I'll quit. God, just stop.

Does your father know about this?

What? No. No.

I don't… I don't… I just… I don't even know what to say.

Maybe I wasn't the perfect mother,

but I did not raise you to do filthy things like this.

No, you raised me to be your friend because you don't have any.

You have to come to the wedding tomorrow.

Obviously I can't tell Kenny about any of this.

But we need a witness.

I don't…

Mom.

Oh, my God.

Please rise for the bride if you would.

God bless the day I found you

I want to stay around you

And so I beg you

Let it be me

Don't take this Heaven from one

If you must cling to someone

Now and forever

Let it be me

Each time we meet, love

I find complete love

Without your sweet love

Tell me, what would life be?

So never leave me lonely

Tell me you love me only

And that you'll always

Let it be me

And at this time, do we have rings for each other?

Yes.

I now pronounce you husband and wife. One thing left to do, my man.

Kiss your bride. Hey, hey!

- You did it. - So… cheers to Mrs. Hearn.

Here you go. That was about the most beautiful ceremony

in the history of forever, so… forever.

- Amen. - Yeah.

All right.

- And I'd like to make a toast. - Yeah.

Kenny.

Your love for my mom is pure and deep.

And it's a beautiful thing to witness.

Mom.

Every good thing,

every strength that I possess…

is because of the example that you set.

Not only by your words, sometimes, well, especially not your words.

But…

because of you

just being you.

And for that, I'm truly grateful.

So…

Best wishes to the both of you… and I love you.

I said a hunk, a hunk of burning love

Look at that, it's time for "It's a hunk, a hunk of burning love."

Whoo A hunk, a hunk of burning love

I said a hunk A hunk of burning love, whoo

Thanks, Elvis.

Can we take a picture?

Vegas! Vegas!

Hello, you.

Vegas!

Being on the road all those years, this was my favorite part.

- Room service? - Room service.

I peeked in today.

She looked amazing.

She did.

And you looked amazing.

I did.

And Kenneth…

Sweetheart.

She still sees me as a kid.

A baby with a baby.

Well, she's a parent.

That's my point. She'll never trust me to make my own decisions.

You two battle all the time,

and you always come out the other side loving each other more.

You didn't ruin her big day.

I ruined her so pretty.

Say what now?

Nothin'.

Maybe we should just leave tonight.

I don't want to wake up in Vegas.

Music to my ears.

Why don't you go for a walk?

Bodhi and I will pack up the car.

Okay, I'm gonna go soak my feet.

I wanna dig into something big. An art project.

I'm just… I'm not sure what yet.

You okay, baby?

S'right.

Are you okay?

S'right.

There's my husband.

What's wrong?

I'm just so… so happy.

Well, that's good. Happy is good.

I'm… sorry.

What?

This music's… it's distracting.

- Okay. - Okay.

I just want to be here

in this room…

with you.

Wow.