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I am here at the White House
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I am here at the White House
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I am here at the White House
Correspondents Dinner, an annual
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Correspondents Dinner, an annual
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Correspondents Dinner, an annual
gathering of the press that celebrates,
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gathering of the press that celebrates,
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gathering of the press that celebrates,
or in tonight's case, fondly remembers
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or in tonight's case, fondly remembers
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or in tonight's case, fondly remembers
free speech. On this night, members of
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free speech. On this night, members of
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free speech. On this night, members of
the press sit down for a lavish dinner
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the press sit down for a lavish dinner
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the press sit down for a lavish dinner
served by some of their former
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served by some of their former
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served by some of their former
colleagues. So many of the biggest names
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colleagues. So many of the biggest names
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colleagues. So many of the biggest names
in DC are here. Such as redacted and
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in DC are here. Such as redacted and
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in DC are here. Such as redacted and
redacted.
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redacted.
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redacted.
CNN, this is a big night. How about Wolf
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CNN, this is a big night. How about Wolf
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CNN, this is a big night. How about Wolf
Blitzer? Is he going to be here?
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Blitzer? Is he going to be here?
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Blitzer? Is he going to be here?
>> I'm assuming he's going to be here. Cuz
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>> I'm assuming he's going to be here. Cuz
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>> I'm assuming he's going to be here. Cuz
I want to catch him before the bosses
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I want to catch him before the bosses
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I want to catch him before the bosses
replace him with Jake Paul, you know.
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replace him with Jake Paul, you know.
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replace him with Jake Paul, you know.
Really try cuz that's where we're going
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Really try cuz that's where we're going
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Really try cuz that's where we're going
tonight. Listen, where are all the
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tonight. Listen, where are all the
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tonight. Listen, where are all the
stars? That's what I want to know. Do
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stars? That's what I want to know. Do
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stars? That's what I want to know. Do
you see any of your stars? I'm the I'm
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you see any of your stars? I'm the I'm
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you see any of your stars? I'm the I'm
THE BIGGEST STAR HERE. IT'S PATHETIC.
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THE BIGGEST STAR HERE. IT'S PATHETIC.
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THE BIGGEST STAR HERE. IT'S PATHETIC.
THIS thing needs a red carpet like the
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THIS thing needs a red carpet like the
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THIS thing needs a red carpet like the
Olive Garden needs a velvet rope.
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Olive Garden needs a velvet rope.
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Olive Garden needs a velvet rope.
Fox News guy.
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Fox News guy.
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Fox News guy.
Come on, you're not above this.
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Come on, you're not above this.
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Come on, you're not above this.
The Sun, WE GOT THE SUN. PETER DOOCY,
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The Sun, WE GOT THE SUN. PETER DOOCY,
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The Sun, WE GOT THE SUN. PETER DOOCY,
THIS IS A CATCH. What a night. No
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THIS IS A CATCH. What a night. No
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THIS IS A CATCH. What a night. No
comedians. We don't need comedians, we
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comedians. We don't need comedians, we
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comedians. We don't need comedians, we
have a mentalist. And do you think
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have a mentalist. And do you think
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have a mentalist. And do you think
Trump's going to tell some jokes like
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Trump's going to tell some jokes like
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Trump's going to tell some jokes like
how he won the Iran war and how gas
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how he won the Iran war and how gas
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how he won the Iran war and how gas
prices are going down? Pretty good
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prices are going down? Pretty good
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prices are going down? Pretty good
stuff. It's Peter's dad. Peter, let's
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stuff. It's Peter's dad. Peter, let's
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stuff. It's Peter's dad. Peter, let's
go.
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go.
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go.
>> Peter, no, Peter.
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>> Peter, no, Peter.
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>> Peter, no, Peter.
Peter,
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Peter,
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Peter,
if the mentalist asked Trump to pick a
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if the mentalist asked Trump to pick a
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if the mentalist asked Trump to pick a
number, it'll probably be under 18,
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number, it'll probably be under 18,
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number, it'll probably be under 18,
would you agree?
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would you agree?
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would you agree?
Thank you. Thank you. It's a politically
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Thank you. Thank you. It's a politically
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Thank you. Thank you. It's a politically
motivated [applause] lie.
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motivated [applause] lie.
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motivated [applause] lie.
You guys at Fox News know what I'm
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You guys at Fox News know what I'm
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You guys at Fox News know what I'm
talking about. Okay, now he really has
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talking about. Okay, now he really has
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talking about. Okay, now he really has
to go.
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to go.
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to go.
It's great to see all you Republican
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It's great to see all you Republican
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It's great to see all you Republican
guys out here praising Trump. Normally,
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guys out here praising Trump. Normally,
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guys out here praising Trump. Normally,
I'm the only one out here licking
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I'm the only one out here licking
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I'm the only one out here licking
someone's nuts.
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someone's nuts.
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someone's nuts.
After all.
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After all.
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After all.
OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE DOGS. Let me ask
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OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE DOGS. Let me ask
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OH MY GOODNESS, I LOVE DOGS. Let me ask
you about the mentalist. Are you worried
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you about the mentalist. Are you worried
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you about the mentalist. Are you worried
that if he pulls a rabbit out of his
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that if he pulls a rabbit out of his
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that if he pulls a rabbit out of his
hat, will RFK Jr. try to eat it?
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hat, will RFK Jr. try to eat it?
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hat, will RFK Jr. try to eat it?
Oh my god, it's Jeanine Pirro. This
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Oh my god, it's Jeanine Pirro. This
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Oh my god, it's Jeanine Pirro. This
lineup is crazy. It's like black tie
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lineup is crazy. It's like black tie
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lineup is crazy. It's like black tie
January 6th.
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January 6th.
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January 6th.
She'll never talk to me, but I have a
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She'll never talk to me, but I have a
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She'll never talk to me, but I have a
secret weapon.
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secret weapon.
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secret weapon.
Check it out. JEANINE! JEANINE!
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THE HEAD OF THE DHS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
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THE HEAD OF THE DHS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
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THE HEAD OF THE DHS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I'm a little resentful of you guys. I
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I'm a little resentful of you guys. I
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I'm a little resentful of you guys. I
was stepping a Mexican hairless and she
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was stepping a Mexican hairless and she
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was stepping a Mexican hairless and she
was picked up by ICE.
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was picked up by ICE.
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was picked up by ICE.
I don't know if that's funny or not.
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I don't know if that's funny or not.
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I don't know if that's funny or not.
Over in the back there is either Bret
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Over in the back there is either Bret
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Over in the back there is either Bret
Baier or someone tried to draw American
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Baier or someone tried to draw American
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Baier or someone tried to draw American
Dad from memory.
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Dad from memory.
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Dad from memory.
Do you think Trump will eventually
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Do you think Trump will eventually
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Do you think Trump will eventually
[laughter] be tried for war crimes? Not
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[laughter] be tried for war crimes? Not
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[laughter] be tried for war crimes? Not
for Iran, but for what he's done to the
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for Iran, but for what he's done to the
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for Iran, but for what he's done to the
Oval Office toilet.
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Oval Office toilet.
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Oval Office toilet.
Have you met Kash Patel? I have. I have.
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Have you met Kash Patel? I have. I have.
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Have you met Kash Patel? I have. I have.
You know, I hear he's a good guy. You
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You know, I hear he's a good guy. You
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You know, I hear he's a good guy. You
know, he loves sports. Great guy. Are
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know, he loves sports. Great guy. Are
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know, he loves sports. Great guy. Are
you worried that if he doesn't win his
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you worried that if he doesn't win his
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you worried that if he doesn't win his
$250 million lawsuit against The
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$250 million lawsuit against The
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$250 million lawsuit against The
Atlantic, that he won't be able to cover
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Atlantic, that he won't be able to cover
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Atlantic, that he won't be able to cover
his tab at the Poodle Room?
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his tab at the Poodle Room?
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his tab at the Poodle Room?
His tab at the what room? The Poodle
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His tab at the what room? The Poodle
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His tab at the what room? The Poodle
Room. If I think people need to stop
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Room. If I think people need to stop
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Room. If I think people need to stop
complaining about Kash Patel drinking so
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complaining about Kash Patel drinking so
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complaining about Kash Patel drinking so
much. If you know a BETTER WAY TO COME
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much. If you know a BETTER WAY TO COME
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much. If you know a BETTER WAY TO COME
DOWN from how much cocaine he's doing,
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DOWN from how much cocaine he's doing,
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DOWN from how much cocaine he's doing,
I'd like to hear it. I don't know if
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I'd like to hear it. I don't know if
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I'd like to hear it. I don't know if
Kash Patel is the is the is a cocaine
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Kash Patel is the is the is a cocaine
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Kash Patel is the is the is a cocaine
party guy.
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party guy.
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party guy.
>> Of course not. You know, and a lot of
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>> Of course not. You know, and a lot of
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>> Of course not. You know, and a lot of
great people are here. You can tell that
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great people are here. You can tell that
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great people are here. You can tell that
some of the most powerful people in
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some of the most powerful people in
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some of the most powerful people in
Washington are here tonight because all
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Washington are here tonight because all
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Washington are here tonight because all
the escort services have switched to
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the escort services have switched to
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the escort services have switched to
surge pricing.
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surge pricing.
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surge pricing.
>> [laughter]
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>> [laughter]
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>> [laughter]
>> Oh my god, it's so exciting. ALL THE BIG
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>> Oh my god, it's so exciting. ALL THE BIG
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>> Oh my god, it's so exciting. ALL THE BIG
NAMES are here from the cabinet AND AND
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NAMES are here from the cabinet AND AND
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NAMES are here from the cabinet AND AND
CAROLINE LEVITT IS HERE.
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CAROLINE LEVITT IS HERE.
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CAROLINE LEVITT IS HERE.
>> YEAH.
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>> YEAH.
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>> YEAH.
>> I MEAN, PHYSICALLY. HER SOUL LEFT HER
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>> I MEAN, PHYSICALLY. HER SOUL LEFT HER
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>> I MEAN, PHYSICALLY. HER SOUL LEFT HER
BODY ABOUT A year ago. We're very pro
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BODY ABOUT A year ago. We're very pro
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BODY ABOUT A year ago. We're very pro
Caroline Levitt here.
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Caroline Levitt here.
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Caroline Levitt here.
Where is Stephen Miller anyway? I heard
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Where is Stephen Miller anyway? I heard
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Where is Stephen Miller anyway? I heard
he's stuck in a glue trap. Caroline.
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he's stuck in a glue trap. Caroline.
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he's stuck in a glue trap. Caroline.
Caroline, are you feeling secure? Women
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Caroline, are you feeling secure? Women
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Caroline, are you feeling secure? Women
in this administration are dropping
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in this administration are dropping
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in this administration are dropping
faster than inbred French bulldogs.
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faster than inbred French bulldogs.
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faster than inbred French bulldogs.
Look at her. Seriously, I haven't seen
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Look at her. Seriously, I haven't seen
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Look at her. Seriously, I haven't seen
anyone so full of since that time I
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anyone so full of since that time I
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anyone so full of since that time I
watched a Chihuahua eat a king-size
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watched a Chihuahua eat a king-size
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watched a Chihuahua eat a king-size
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
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Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
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Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
So Pete Hegseth's right over there.
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So Pete Hegseth's right over there.
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So Pete Hegseth's right over there.
>> I see him. Yeah, can you give him his
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>> I see him. Yeah, can you give him his
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>> I see him. Yeah, can you give him his
drink tickets?
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drink tickets?
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drink tickets?
>> [laughter]
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>> [laughter]
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>> [laughter]
>> He He asked me to pick them up for him.
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>> He He asked me to pick them up for him.
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>> He He asked me to pick them up for him.
Hey Pete!
228
00:04:01,630 --> 00:04:01,640
Hey Pete!
229
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,030
Hey Pete!
Pete!
230
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:04,040
Pete!
231
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,430
Pete!
WHERE ARE WE PRE-GAMING?
232
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:06,440
WHERE ARE WE PRE-GAMING?
233
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,390
WHERE ARE WE PRE-GAMING?
AND POST-GAMING.
234
00:04:08,390 --> 00:04:08,400
AND POST-GAMING.
235
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,110
AND POST-GAMING.
AND MID-GAME GAMING.
236
00:04:11,110 --> 00:04:11,120
AND MID-GAME GAMING.
237
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,190
AND MID-GAME GAMING.
SHERROD, what's special about this night
238
00:04:13,190 --> 00:04:13,200
SHERROD, what's special about this night
239
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,150
SHERROD, what's special about this night
other than it's the only celebrity party
240
00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:15,160
other than it's the only celebrity party
241
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,870
other than it's the only celebrity party
you're invited to anymore?
242
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:17,880
you're invited to anymore?
243
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,910
you're invited to anymore?
Bobby, please, Bobby. Can I see my
244
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:20,920
Bobby, please, Bobby. Can I see my
245
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,710
Bobby, please, Bobby. Can I see my
brother one last time? He's in your
246
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:23,720
brother one last time? He's in your
247
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,990
brother one last time? He's in your
freezer. What brings you to the White
248
00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:26,000
freezer. What brings you to the White
249
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,990
freezer. What brings you to the White
House Correspondents Dinner? Are you
250
00:04:27,990 --> 00:04:28,000
House Correspondents Dinner? Are you
251
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,110
House Correspondents Dinner? Are you
kidding? This is a wonderful night.
252
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:30,120
kidding? This is a wonderful night.
253
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,110
kidding? This is a wonderful night.
We're honoring the First Amendment with
254
00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:32,120
We're honoring the First Amendment with
255
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,590
We're honoring the First Amendment with
Donald Trump. It's kind of like having
256
00:04:34,590 --> 00:04:34,600
Donald Trump. It's kind of like having
257
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,030
Donald Trump. It's kind of like having
Kanye come for Passover. So what rotting
258
00:04:38,030 --> 00:04:38,040
Kanye come for Passover. So what rotting
259
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,910
Kanye come for Passover. So what rotting
husk of a once great industry are you
260
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:39,920
husk of a once great industry are you
261
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,110
husk of a once great industry are you
with? Oh, USA Today.
262
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:43,120
with? Oh, USA Today.
263
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,470
with? Oh, USA Today.
Okay, good. And tell me this,
264
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:46,480
Okay, good. And tell me this,
265
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,390
Okay, good. And tell me this,
what's the plan after this is over? The
266
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:49,400
what's the plan after this is over? The
267
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,190
what's the plan after this is over? The
bar. No, no, I don't I'm I'm not talking
268
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:51,200
bar. No, no, I don't I'm I'm not talking
269
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,150
bar. No, no, I don't I'm I'm not talking
about tonight. I'm talking about after
270
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:53,160
about tonight. I'm talking about after
271
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,350
about tonight. I'm talking about after
the news industry is over.
272
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:55,360
the news industry is over.
273
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,870
the news industry is over.
Marco.
274
00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:56,880
Marco.
275
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,550
Marco.
Come on, you can do this.
276
00:04:59,550 --> 00:04:59,560
Come on, you can do this.
277
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,150
Come on, you can do this.
What's the matter, Mr. Secretary? You're
278
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:02,160
What's the matter, Mr. Secretary? You're
279
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,310
What's the matter, Mr. Secretary? You're
afraid of a little dog.
280
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:05,320
afraid of a little dog.
281
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,790
afraid of a little dog.
I'm down on my luck, Marco. Please, just
282
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:07,800
I'm down on my luck, Marco. Please, just
283
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,830
I'm down on my luck, Marco. Please, just
one question. Just tell me which country
284
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:09,840
one question. Just tell me which country
285
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,430
one question. Just tell me which country
you're attacking next. I'm trying to win
286
00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:11,440
you're attacking next. I'm trying to win
287
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,510
you're attacking next. I'm trying to win
some money on Polymarket. I'm trying to
288
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:13,520
some money on Polymarket. I'm trying to
289
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,270
some money on Polymarket. I'm trying to
win SOME MONEY ON POLYMARKET, MAN.
290
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:16,280
win SOME MONEY ON POLYMARKET, MAN.
291
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,430
win SOME MONEY ON POLYMARKET, MAN.
Just give me a wink if it's Kazakhstan.
292
00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:18,440
Just give me a wink if it's Kazakhstan.
293
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,288
Just give me a wink if it's Kazakhstan.
It's illegal for dogs to gamble.
294
00:05:20,288 --> 00:05:20,298
It's illegal for dogs to gamble.
295
00:05:20,298 --> 00:05:22,318
It's illegal for dogs to gamble.
>> [cheering]
25231
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