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1
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:08,409
Oh, honey, are you gorgeous!
2
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:10,873
You look just
like a virgin.
3
00:00:10,159 --> 00:00:11,176
Here, I brought
you
some crackers
4
00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:12,409
for your morning sickness.
5
00:00:14,276 --> 00:00:17,143
So when are you and Danny
gonna set a date already?
6
00:00:17,176 --> 00:00:18,343
Oh, you know me,
7
00:00:18,376 --> 00:00:20,459
always a bridal
consultant,
never a bride.
8
00:00:20,493 --> 00:00:23,043
Right, Danny?
What can I say?
9
00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:25,543
Well, how about,
"Here's a ring. Pick a pattern?"
10
00:00:27,426 --> 00:00:29,203
I'm serious.
11
00:00:29,543 --> 00:00:31,376
We've been pre-engaged
for three years already.
12
00:00:31,409 --> 00:00:32,426
I'm sorry.
13
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:33,509
I should've said this sooner.
14
00:00:34,203 --> 00:00:35,426
I wanted to do it
some place nice.
15
00:00:35,459 --> 00:00:37,359
Oh, wow.
16
00:00:37,393 --> 00:00:38,526
All right. Here goes.
17
00:00:40,426 --> 00:00:41,426
I've been thinking...
18
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,176
we should start
seeing other
people.
19
00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:47,426
What? Since when
you been thinking that?
20
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:49,193
Since I saw Heather Bibelow.
21
00:00:50,393 --> 00:00:52,393
I can't believe
you're telling me this.
22
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:53,443
What, were you
stringing me along
23
00:00:53,476 --> 00:00:55,376
because
I'm your best salesgirl?
24
00:00:55,409 --> 00:00:57,373
That's the other thing.
25
00:00:57,703 --> 00:00:58,243
Heather needs a job.
26
00:01:01,373 --> 00:01:03,873
You're firing me?
27
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,359
I can't believe
I just wasted three years
28
00:01:05,393 --> 00:01:08,393
of an ever-dwindling youth
on you and this dump!
29
00:01:08,426 --> 00:01:11,376
You can't fire me,
Danny Imperiali.
30
00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:13,243
I quit!
31
00:01:16,373 --> 00:01:17,143
No. You fired me.
32
00:01:17,176 --> 00:01:19,143
That way,
I can collect unemployment.
33
00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:25,509
♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪
34
00:01:26,043 --> 00:01:27,226
♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
35
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:28,426
♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪
36
00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:30,243
♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
37
00:01:30,276 --> 00:01:32,043
♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪
38
00:01:32,373 --> 00:01:35,343
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
39
00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:36,426
♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪
40
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,373
♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
41
00:01:38,703 --> 00:01:39,376
♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup ♪♪
42
00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:41,176
♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
43
00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,203
♪♪ She had style,
she had flair, she was there ♪♪
44
00:01:43,543 --> 00:01:45,226
♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪
45
00:01:46,276 --> 00:01:49,209
♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪
46
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,376
♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
47
00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:52,459
♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪
48
00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:54,193
♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
49
00:01:54,226 --> 00:01:55,359
♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪
50
00:01:55,393 --> 00:01:56,459
♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
51
00:01:56,493 --> 00:01:58,159
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
52
00:01:58,193 --> 00:02:02,376
♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪
53
00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:04,426
♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪
54
00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:05,459
♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
55
00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:13,703
[DOORBELL RINGS]
56
00:02:13,143 --> 00:02:14,359
Hello, I'm Fran Fine,
57
00:02:14,393 --> 00:02:17,359
your Shades of the Orient
cosmetics representative.
58
00:02:17,393 --> 00:02:19,426
Oy, what a loser.
59
00:02:20,443 --> 00:02:22,043
Hello, I'm Fran Fine--
60
00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:23,443
Yes, come in.
We've been expecting
you.
61
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,476
Oh, you have?
62
00:02:24,509 --> 00:02:27,873
You are here for
the nanny position?
63
00:02:27,159 --> 00:02:28,359
I could be.
64
00:02:29,226 --> 00:02:31,409
Wow, this place is nicer
65
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:33,426
than my Uncle Jack's condo
in Boca,
66
00:02:33,459 --> 00:02:35,226
and, you know,
he bought the model.
67
00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:41,143
May I present your résumé
to Mr. Sheffield?
68
00:02:41,176 --> 00:02:42,443
Uh... résumé?
69
00:02:42,476 --> 00:02:45,176
You know what? Why don't you
go get this Mr. Sheffield,
70
00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:47,176
and I'll do
the résumé presenting myself.
71
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,426
As you wish.
72
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,143
This ought to be good.
73
00:02:52,443 --> 00:02:55,193
We're never gonna find
an actress for this part.
74
00:02:55,226 --> 00:02:57,376
Ann Miller passed.
Gwen Verdon passed.
75
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:59,426
Ruby Keeler passed...
76
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:01,409
away, I believe.
77
00:03:01,443 --> 00:03:03,176
What's she doing on this list?
78
00:03:03,209 --> 00:03:05,509
Relax, darling.
79
00:03:06,043 --> 00:03:07,343
You need a shiatsu.
80
00:03:08,293 --> 00:03:10,393
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
81
00:03:10,426 --> 00:03:12,873
I see you're
working
hard as always,
82
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,543
Miss Babcock.
83
00:03:14,873 --> 00:03:16,459
Theater has always been
a passion of mine.
84
00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:19,526
Hmm. I can't wait to see
what you'll be mounting next.
85
00:03:23,409 --> 00:03:25,703
Yes, Niles. What is it?
86
00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:27,409
Sir, there is a new nanny
waiting to be interviewed.
87
00:03:27,443 --> 00:03:29,203
What happened
to the old one?
88
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,359
Brighton staged
another fake suicide.
89
00:03:31,393 --> 00:03:33,509
Best one yet. Spread-eagle
on the marble
90
00:03:34,043 --> 00:03:36,276
with a bit of catsup
trickling from his ears.
91
00:03:36,309 --> 00:03:37,409
We've got half
the money people
92
00:03:37,443 --> 00:03:39,873
in New York coming
to our backers'
party,
93
00:03:39,159 --> 00:03:41,343
and I will not have
those
children running
loose!
94
00:03:42,243 --> 00:03:45,359
Not that I don't love them
as if they were my very own.
95
00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:48,259
Mm-hmm.
96
00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:49,426
I do.
97
00:03:52,543 --> 00:03:53,243
BOY: Oh!
98
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,243
Oh...
99
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,493
Ah...
100
00:03:57,526 --> 00:03:59,259
Ohh.
101
00:04:01,226 --> 00:04:03,373
Do you have a pen?
102
00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:05,226
Oh, forget it.
103
00:04:06,309 --> 00:04:08,193
Brighton, you're
losing your
touch.
104
00:04:09,309 --> 00:04:10,526
I'm Maxwell Sheffield.
105
00:04:11,203 --> 00:04:12,209
This is my son,
106
00:04:12,243 --> 00:04:14,226
the late
Brighton
Sheffield.
107
00:04:14,259 --> 00:04:17,176
Wait. I know you.
108
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:18,409
Esquire
109
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:21,309
"New York's
10 most Eligible Widowers."
110
00:04:21,343 --> 00:04:23,226
My condolences, by the way.
111
00:04:24,309 --> 00:04:25,459
You readEsquire?
112
00:04:25,493 --> 00:04:29,176
When they list
the 10 most
eligible widowers, I do.
113
00:04:30,476 --> 00:04:32,326
Hi. I'm Fran Fine.
114
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,193
Well, do come in.
115
00:04:35,159 --> 00:04:37,243
Oh, boy, do you have
gorgeous tchotchkes.
116
00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:40,373
Ah-- I beg your pardon.
117
00:04:40,476 --> 00:04:43,293
Oh, you know,
your bric-a-brac,
dust collectors.
118
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,476
Ah, the
Rodin.
Yes, well...
119
00:04:45,509 --> 00:04:49,326
He was-- He was well-known
for his bronze tchotchkes.
120
00:04:51,176 --> 00:04:52,309
May I see
your résumé, please?
121
00:04:52,343 --> 00:04:53,493
Oh, yeah. Sure.
122
00:04:56,176 --> 00:04:57,493
Crayon?
Lipstick.
123
00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:59,493
Of course,
and what a lovely shade.
124
00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,373
I hate her.
125
00:05:07,703 --> 00:05:09,143
Now, Brighton,
let's not be
hasty.
126
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,226
Yeah, I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.
127
00:05:13,159 --> 00:05:16,703
Miss Fine,
you seem to have listed
128
00:05:16,143 --> 00:05:18,873
the Queen Mother as a reference.
129
00:05:18,159 --> 00:05:19,359
What? Let me see that.
130
00:05:20,426 --> 00:05:23,873
Oh, no.
That's not the Queen Mother.
131
00:05:23,159 --> 00:05:24,476
That's my mother from Queens!
132
00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:27,526
Hi, Daddy.
133
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,293
Oh, hello,
sweetheart.
134
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:30,326
Maggie.
135
00:05:30,359 --> 00:05:32,143
Hello, Father.
136
00:05:32,176 --> 00:05:35,873
Oh, boy, are you gorgeous!
137
00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:36,326
And look at that hair.
138
00:05:36,359 --> 00:05:39,043
You see, now, you
cannot
get color like that
139
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,426
from out of a
bottle.
No way.
140
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,476
I'll be in my room
doing my homework.
141
00:05:45,203 --> 00:05:47,373
Really lights up a room,
doesn't she?
142
00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:50,176
You don't need personality
when you're an heiress.
143
00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:53,373
So, sweetheart,
144
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:54,493
how was therapy
today, hmm?
145
00:05:56,159 --> 00:05:58,209
Any, uh--
any breakthroughs?
146
00:05:58,243 --> 00:06:00,459
Dr. Borne and I
did some regression.
147
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,493
She took me
back through my childhood.
148
00:06:05,373 --> 00:06:06,359
Must have been a quick trip.
149
00:06:08,176 --> 00:06:11,526
Oh, you have no idea
how complicated I am.
150
00:06:13,493 --> 00:06:15,276
Therapy, huh?
151
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,509
It was a lot easier
than talking to us directly.
152
00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,703
All right.
That's it.
Brighton,
go to your room.
153
00:06:20,143 --> 00:06:22,703
All right.
Come on, Gracie.
154
00:06:22,143 --> 00:06:24,209
Let's leave Father alone
to hire someone else
155
00:06:24,243 --> 00:06:26,243
to take care
of his problem children.
156
00:06:26,276 --> 00:06:29,043
Oh, you're a bitter
little person, aren't you?
157
00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:31,426
We're gonna get along fine.
158
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,409
I'm-- I'm sorry
you had to see that.
159
00:06:34,443 --> 00:06:36,209
I'll show you out.
160
00:06:36,243 --> 00:06:39,209
What'd I do?
One smart-ass
remark from the
kid,
161
00:06:39,243 --> 00:06:40,276
and I don't get the job?
162
00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:41,359
That's not fair.
163
00:06:41,393 --> 00:06:44,309
As you can see,
I need help here--
164
00:06:44,343 --> 00:06:45,509
more help
than can be provided
165
00:06:46,043 --> 00:06:47,309
by a door-to-door
cosmetics girl.
166
00:06:47,343 --> 00:06:49,703
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
167
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:50,226
Niles?
168
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,373
Niles!
169
00:06:53,703 --> 00:06:54,526
Oh, for God's sakes,
I'll get it.
170
00:06:55,393 --> 00:06:57,343
Sheffield residence.
171
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,209
No, honey, it's Fran.
172
00:06:59,243 --> 00:07:01,043
Give me that.
173
00:07:01,393 --> 00:07:04,176
It's the nanny agency.
174
00:07:04,209 --> 00:07:05,493
Maxwell Sheffield here.
175
00:07:07,309 --> 00:07:08,359
Thank you.
176
00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:10,393
Oh, yeah. Right.
177
00:07:10,426 --> 00:07:12,309
No, no.
Monday is not acceptable.
178
00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:15,143
Listen,
I need a nanny this weekend.
179
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:25,873
Do you have
any experience with children?
180
00:07:25,159 --> 00:07:26,193
Are you kidding?
181
00:07:26,226 --> 00:07:28,293
I practically raised
my sister's two kids
182
00:07:28,326 --> 00:07:30,373
when she was suing
her chiropodist.
183
00:07:31,203 --> 00:07:32,326
There has to be another agency.
184
00:07:32,359 --> 00:07:34,376
Oh, please!
I come from Flushing.
185
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:36,276
There is nothing
these kids can throw at me
186
00:07:36,309 --> 00:07:37,443
that I haven't seen before,
187
00:07:37,476 --> 00:07:39,259
except maybe their trust funds.
188
00:07:42,526 --> 00:07:44,509
All right. You're hired,
but on a trial basis.
189
00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:47,203
Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield!
190
00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:48,326
Thank you so much.
You won't regret it.
191
00:07:48,359 --> 00:07:50,526
Somehow, I'm rather
sure I will.
192
00:07:51,409 --> 00:07:53,243
Niles will show
you
to your room.
193
00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:56,359
Oh! The nanny gets to live here?
194
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:58,493
Is that a problem?
195
00:07:58,526 --> 00:08:01,703
Oh, yeah. I'm sure
I'm gonna miss being 29
196
00:08:01,143 --> 00:08:03,043
and still living at home
with my parents,
197
00:08:03,373 --> 00:08:05,309
but, if it's best
for the kids...
198
00:08:06,476 --> 00:08:08,159
Twenty-nine.
199
00:08:08,193 --> 00:08:10,243
Don't start with me, Niles.
200
00:08:10,276 --> 00:08:11,343
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:08:25,409 --> 00:08:28,293
Good morning, everyone!
202
00:08:28,326 --> 00:08:30,276
Ooh, that Jacuzzi tub
really knows
203
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:32,543
how to perk a girl up
in the morning.
204
00:08:32,443 --> 00:08:34,326
Do you people
sleep like that?
205
00:08:34,359 --> 00:08:37,259
No. In a rather
astounding
coincidence,
206
00:08:37,293 --> 00:08:40,143
I sleep in a pair
of pink, fuzzy slippers
just like yours.
207
00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:42,343
A simple
"We dress for breakfast"
208
00:08:42,376 --> 00:08:43,476
would suffice.
209
00:08:43,509 --> 00:08:46,243
You have to tell me
these things, Niles.
210
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,293
I simply assumed--
211
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,176
Don't assume
anything with me.
212
00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:51,193
I'm from Flushing,
for God's sakes.
213
00:08:52,259 --> 00:08:54,243
Oh, I just love
a good buffet.
214
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:56,203
It's free, Miss Fine.
215
00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:57,543
You're
allowed
to go back.
216
00:08:57,873 --> 00:08:58,193
Oh!
217
00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:01,143
Oh... where do I sit?
218
00:09:01,176 --> 00:09:03,476
The previous nanny
sat in the kitchen.
219
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:05,509
Oh, how antisocial!
220
00:09:08,209 --> 00:09:10,459
So, kids,
what should we do today?
221
00:09:10,493 --> 00:09:12,543
Should we take
a walk in the park
222
00:09:12,873 --> 00:09:14,326
or maybe just kick back,
hang around the mansion?
223
00:09:14,359 --> 00:09:15,443
We have to go somewhere.
224
00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:17,209
Father's kicked us out again.
225
00:09:17,243 --> 00:09:19,373
Now, Brighton,
I didn't kick you out.
226
00:09:19,703 --> 00:09:21,703
I merely asked that
you not torment the caterers
227
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,243
while they're preparing
for this evening's soirée.
228
00:09:23,276 --> 00:09:25,476
Oh, a soirée, huh?
229
00:09:25,509 --> 00:09:28,343
Well, I got a sister
who's a caterer.
230
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,276
She does a "pork-o de pruneau."
231
00:09:30,309 --> 00:09:32,326
That's French
for "pork and prune."
232
00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:39,243
Not only delicious,
but a natural digestive.
233
00:09:42,703 --> 00:09:43,259
Thank you for
sharing
that, Miss Fine.
234
00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:45,193
I could get you a deal.
235
00:09:45,226 --> 00:09:47,359
That's all right.
C.C.'s made
all the
arrangements.
236
00:09:47,393 --> 00:09:49,243
C.C.? What's a C.C.?
237
00:09:50,309 --> 00:09:52,373
Father's lady friend.
238
00:09:52,703 --> 00:09:55,543
Maggie, dear,
she's a business associate.
239
00:09:55,873 --> 00:09:56,243
Mm-hm.
240
00:09:56,276 --> 00:09:58,373
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
241
00:09:58,703 --> 00:09:59,459
Well, I just hope
there's enough food.
242
00:09:59,493 --> 00:10:01,293
You know, shiksas
are notorious
243
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:03,543
for not ordering
enough food.
244
00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:07,159
Booze, yes, but food,
they don't know from.
245
00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:11,209
Shiksa. Is that
like a
tchotchke?
246
00:10:12,159 --> 00:10:14,276
Yes, but...
They cost a lot more.
247
00:10:18,043 --> 00:10:19,376
It's Ms.
Babcock
for you, sir.
248
00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,276
Oh, thank you, Niles.
249
00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:22,459
I'll take her
in the library.
250
00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:26,243
Ms. Babcock loves to
be
taken in the library.
251
00:10:28,873 --> 00:10:29,703
I'll bet.
252
00:10:30,293 --> 00:10:32,476
So, kids,
we're having a party.
253
00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:34,703
What are we gonna wear?
254
00:10:34,143 --> 00:10:35,343
We're not invited.
255
00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:37,193
And neither are you.
256
00:10:37,226 --> 00:10:38,493
Oh, come on.
Your father's paying for it.
257
00:10:38,526 --> 00:10:40,043
Of course,
we're invited.
258
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,703
We'll eat, drink.
You'll bring a date.
259
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,509
Maggie doesn't date.
260
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:44,526
Never?
261
00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:46,526
The boys haven't noticed me yet.
262
00:10:47,203 --> 00:10:48,376
Oh, they've noticed,
Maggie, and...
263
00:10:48,409 --> 00:10:50,309
that's why
you don't date!
264
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,343
What is wrong
with you, Brighton?
265
00:10:54,376 --> 00:10:56,326
Middle-child syndrome.
266
00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,193
Thank you, Sybil.
267
00:10:58,226 --> 00:11:00,543
Now, knock it off.
268
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:06,159
Knock it off, all of you.
We're a family here.
269
00:11:06,193 --> 00:11:07,259
Now, we have
a party tonight.
270
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:08,376
There's a lot
we have to do.
271
00:11:08,409 --> 00:11:10,293
We'll go shopping,
get our hair done,
272
00:11:10,326 --> 00:11:12,043
get a manicure--
273
00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:13,526
You'll get a French tip.
It's a very clean look.
274
00:11:15,226 --> 00:11:16,376
So I'll go get changed,
275
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,359
and then we'll go,
we'll do.
276
00:11:18,393 --> 00:11:21,543
Let me just take this.
I hate to waste.
277
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:24,376
Dad is gonna hate this.
278
00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:27,209
C.C.'s going to totally freak.
279
00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:30,209
Sounds like a party to me!
280
00:11:35,409 --> 00:11:38,193
So, well, what's
your favorite color?
281
00:11:38,226 --> 00:11:41,343
I-- I don't know. Beige?
282
00:11:43,543 --> 00:11:44,209
Oy!
283
00:11:45,143 --> 00:11:47,143
So, Gracie,
how are you doing, honey?
284
00:11:47,176 --> 00:11:50,373
I'm feeling empty and alone.
285
00:11:51,426 --> 00:11:53,703
You want a Tic Tac?
286
00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:54,459
Okay!
Right on.
287
00:11:54,493 --> 00:11:56,476
So tell me about
your new job already.
288
00:11:56,509 --> 00:11:58,359
Who's the guy?
Where's the house?
289
00:11:58,393 --> 00:12:00,259
I brought pictures. Wait.
290
00:12:00,293 --> 00:12:02,209
Here.
[GASPS]
291
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,259
That's my boss.
Cute, huh?
292
00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:05,343
A little repressed, though.
293
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,409
What a head of hair!
And it's all his.
294
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,259
[GASPS]
295
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,293
Oh, that's the butler, Niles.
296
00:12:11,326 --> 00:12:13,409
A butler?
That's very
classy!
297
00:12:13,443 --> 00:12:15,476
Val, it's like living
at Caesar's Palace.
298
00:12:17,226 --> 00:12:19,703
And the kids.
Yeah, well, you know.
299
00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:20,526
They're gonna need
the most work.
300
00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:23,476
I mean, that one's
got no personality.
301
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,443
This one's
got multiple personalities.
302
00:12:29,426 --> 00:12:30,526
And Brighton...
303
00:12:31,203 --> 00:12:32,409
Brighton?
Where's Brighton?
304
00:12:32,443 --> 00:12:35,209
Are these dummies
anatomically correct?
305
00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:37,873
What do you care?
306
00:12:37,159 --> 00:12:39,243
You're 10 years old.
Would you be normal?
307
00:12:40,873 --> 00:12:42,259
Oh, cool! A cockroach.
308
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:44,193
Hey, you got any rats?
309
00:12:44,226 --> 00:12:46,493
Wait till Danny gets back.
310
00:12:46,526 --> 00:12:48,543
Where is he, anyway?
311
00:12:48,873 --> 00:12:49,259
Getting his back waxed.
312
00:12:49,293 --> 00:12:50,526
Oh, good.
So we got all day.
313
00:12:53,176 --> 00:12:54,359
[SIGHS]
Okay, well.
314
00:12:54,393 --> 00:12:56,543
We gotta make Maggie beautiful.
315
00:12:56,873 --> 00:12:57,276
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
316
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,526
Shut up, Brighton!
317
00:12:59,203 --> 00:13:00,359
Hey, be nicer to your sister.
318
00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:02,293
Why, because we're a family?
319
00:13:02,326 --> 00:13:04,243
Yes, that's right,
and some day,
320
00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:07,703
your father's gonna be
old and sick,
321
00:13:07,143 --> 00:13:08,393
You're gonna want him
to live with her.
322
00:13:15,293 --> 00:13:17,043
It's so fancy.
323
00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:18,159
Everyone'll look at me.
324
00:13:18,193 --> 00:13:20,543
So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.
325
00:13:21,373 --> 00:13:22,226
I-- I don't know.
326
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:23,509
I'm not good at this
like you are.
327
00:13:24,043 --> 00:13:26,543
Honey, that's what I'm here for.
328
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,243
What do you think?
You turn 14, and boom,
329
00:13:28,276 --> 00:13:30,526
you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication
330
00:13:31,203 --> 00:13:33,393
of a woman of my years
and experience?
331
00:13:34,443 --> 00:13:36,326
Look, when I was 14...
332
00:13:37,309 --> 00:13:39,203
Oh, go try it on.
333
00:13:40,443 --> 00:13:43,043
Who knew this job
would be so demanding?
334
00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:45,159
Please! I'm exhausted!
335
00:13:47,276 --> 00:13:49,176
[PIANO PLAYING]
336
00:13:54,259 --> 00:13:55,426
Has anyone told you
337
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,476
how handsome
you look this evening?
338
00:13:57,509 --> 00:14:00,176
Maxwell, you're such a flirt.
339
00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:03,203
It's going rather
well,
don't you think?
340
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,226
Oh, it's perfect.
341
00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:06,293
The food is exquisite,
the music divine,
342
00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:09,373
and the guests
obscenely wealthy.
343
00:14:10,373 --> 00:14:12,243
Doesn't Ivana look marvelous?
344
00:14:13,543 --> 00:14:14,443
My surgeon, of course.
345
00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:18,543
Miss Fine would like
a word with you, sir.
346
00:14:18,873 --> 00:14:19,409
Really? Where is she?
347
00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:21,203
FRAN: I'm up here.
348
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:24,459
What's that?
349
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:27,393
That's... the nanny.
350
00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:30,493
♪♪ Hey, hey, the lady in red ♪♪
351
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:34,326
♪♪ The fellas are crazy
For the lady in red... ♪♪
352
00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:36,293
Look at that dress.
353
00:14:36,326 --> 00:14:37,409
Maxwell!
354
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:40,493
You look... nice
too.
I said that.
355
00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:42,359
Handsome.
You said handsome.
356
00:14:44,226 --> 00:14:46,543
You like?
I borrowed it from my cousin,
357
00:14:46,873 --> 00:14:48,043
Miss Long Island, 1989.
358
00:14:49,176 --> 00:14:51,203
A very good year.
359
00:14:52,176 --> 00:14:54,143
I just wanted to tell
you
the children are
ready.
360
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:56,326
For what?
To come to the party.
361
00:14:56,359 --> 00:14:59,243
Miss Fine, the children
are not invited to the party.
362
00:14:59,276 --> 00:15:00,476
They're not?
363
00:15:00,509 --> 00:15:02,443
Oh, is my face red?
364
00:15:04,209 --> 00:15:06,203
Well, now it matches
the rest of you.
365
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:09,509
Oh, there's that rapier wit
we've come to count on.
366
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,509
Yes, now we've
all
met each other.
367
00:15:13,043 --> 00:15:14,209
Why don't you
go back
upstairs
368
00:15:14,243 --> 00:15:15,526
and inform the children
they can't come.
369
00:15:16,203 --> 00:15:17,293
Hi, Daddy.
370
00:15:17,326 --> 00:15:19,376
Oh, Miss Fine,
you play dirty.
371
00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:20,476
Hello, sweetheart.
372
00:15:20,509 --> 00:15:22,143
Do you like
my party dress?
373
00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:24,203
Loehmann's, 70% off.
374
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,326
She'll never
shop retail
again.
375
00:15:30,043 --> 00:15:31,343
Hi, Dad. Surprised?
376
00:15:31,376 --> 00:15:33,873
No tricks, Brighton.
377
00:15:33,159 --> 00:15:34,459
Best behavior.
Hmm.
378
00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:39,373
All right.
379
00:15:42,159 --> 00:15:44,373
Come on, Maggie.
Don't be shy,
honey.
380
00:15:46,243 --> 00:15:50,293
My God. I had no idea how much
she looked like her mother.
381
00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:54,193
Do you like it?
382
00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,226
Oh... you look so...
383
00:15:57,703 --> 00:15:58,309
so grown-up.
384
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,326
So, Daddy,
can we come to the party?
385
00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:06,426
Of course you can.
386
00:16:07,476 --> 00:16:09,193
We'll discuss this later.
387
00:16:10,476 --> 00:16:12,703
Friends...
388
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,209
Friends, can I have
your attention,
please?
389
00:16:14,243 --> 00:16:17,409
Before I tell you a little
about my latest production,
390
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,259
I'd like to introduce to you
391
00:16:19,293 --> 00:16:21,526
the three greatest productions
of my life,
392
00:16:23,703 --> 00:16:24,193
my dear children.
393
00:16:28,493 --> 00:16:30,359
Oh, isn't that sweet?
394
00:16:30,393 --> 00:16:32,343
Couldn't you
just drop
dead?
395
00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:35,259
I don't know.
Could you?
396
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:38,543
Let me take a picture.
397
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:39,476
Uh, Miss Fine,
I think you've done enough--
398
00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:42,209
Lovely
family,
Sheffield.
399
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:43,509
Smile, everyone.
400
00:16:44,443 --> 00:16:46,703
FRAN: Great!
401
00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:48,493
C.C.:
You might want to--
402
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:50,493
keep a low profile.
403
00:16:50,526 --> 00:16:53,203
You're a little
out of your element here.
404
00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:54,409
Oh, don't worry about me.
405
00:16:54,443 --> 00:16:56,293
I've been
to my share of affairs.
406
00:16:56,326 --> 00:16:59,176
My Uncle Jack threw
a weekend bar mitzvah
407
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:01,409
with aStar Trek
they're still talking about.
408
00:17:03,309 --> 00:17:05,703
Good night, Ivana!
409
00:17:05,143 --> 00:17:08,193
Don't worry, honey.
You'll find someone else too.
410
00:17:10,426 --> 00:17:12,176
Niles, more.
411
00:17:13,373 --> 00:17:16,276
Well, do I count four zeros
on this check?
412
00:17:16,309 --> 00:17:18,043
All right.
I'll admit it.
413
00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:19,193
Having the children
here this evening
414
00:17:19,226 --> 00:17:21,226
wasn't the complete disaster
it might have been.
415
00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:23,376
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you gush.
416
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,443
All right, all right.
It went splendidly.
417
00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,426
Here, let me put that--
thank you--
418
00:17:27,459 --> 00:17:29,276
with the others.
419
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,376
[SIGHS]
420
00:17:30,409 --> 00:17:33,493
Well, congratulations,
Nanny Fine.
421
00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:37,703
It seems you pulled it off.
422
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,409
Oh, what could possibly go wrong
423
00:17:38,443 --> 00:17:41,243
when you put a father together
with his children?
424
00:17:42,426 --> 00:17:44,293
I think I'm gonna be ill.
425
00:17:51,293 --> 00:17:52,443
Maggie!
426
00:17:52,476 --> 00:17:53,476
Daddy!
427
00:17:53,509 --> 00:17:55,143
Mr. Sheffield,
I was just--
428
00:17:55,176 --> 00:17:57,043
You were
just
leaving!
429
00:17:57,373 --> 00:17:58,243
Right.
430
00:17:59,543 --> 00:18:00,543
Eddie, wait!
431
00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:01,703
Maggie?
432
00:18:02,203 --> 00:18:03,203
Maggie, come back here!
433
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:04,226
Eddie!
434
00:18:04,259 --> 00:18:05,443
Maggie.
435
00:18:07,203 --> 00:18:09,203
How could you
embarrass me like that?
436
00:18:09,543 --> 00:18:10,409
What's going on?
That-- that boy
437
00:18:10,443 --> 00:18:12,276
was mauling her
on the balcony.
438
00:18:12,309 --> 00:18:13,443
It was just a kiss.
439
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:15,193
He kissed you?
440
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:17,873
Yeah.
Oh!
441
00:18:19,703 --> 00:18:21,459
Your first kiss.
That's so exciting.
442
00:18:21,493 --> 00:18:23,326
Let me get the camera.
443
00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:27,159
Miss Fine,
this is not exciting.
444
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,393
It's appalling.
She's just a child.
445
00:18:29,426 --> 00:18:31,393
I am not!
She's not, you know.
446
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:33,443
I think I'm
starting
to feel better.
447
00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:36,193
Dad, I'm 14 years old.
448
00:18:36,226 --> 00:18:38,276
You know,
when I was
14--
449
00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:40,293
Oh, maybe this
isn't the right
time.
450
00:18:42,143 --> 00:18:44,343
Maggie, go to bed,
and take that makeup off.
451
00:18:46,143 --> 00:18:47,159
Oh...
452
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,373
You!
Me?
453
00:18:49,703 --> 00:18:51,143
Yes, you. This wouldn't
have happened without
you.
454
00:18:51,176 --> 00:18:53,359
Yes, definitely
feeling better.
455
00:18:53,393 --> 00:18:55,203
What the hell did I do?
456
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:57,373
What did you do? You took
an innocent schoolgirl,
457
00:18:57,703 --> 00:18:59,043
you dolled her up,
and turned her
into--
458
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:00,873
A young woman.
459
00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:01,509
She's just
a little
girl.
460
00:19:02,043 --> 00:19:04,373
Get outta here. She's a woman,
I'm telling you
461
00:19:04,703 --> 00:19:06,226
and unless you're gonna dip her
in bronze and stick her
462
00:19:06,259 --> 00:19:09,043
on the shelf with the rest
of your collectibles,
463
00:19:09,373 --> 00:19:10,226
she is going to grow up,
464
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:12,259
and somebody's gotta help her.
465
00:19:12,293 --> 00:19:14,043
Oh, you are way out of line.
466
00:19:14,373 --> 00:19:15,226
She's not your child.
467
00:19:15,259 --> 00:19:16,409
That's right, she's not.
468
00:19:16,443 --> 00:19:18,493
If she were, she wouldn't
be
upstairs crying right now
469
00:19:18,526 --> 00:19:20,259
on what should be
a very memorable
470
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,459
and exciting evening.
471
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,526
Thank you for
your candor and
concern.
472
00:19:24,203 --> 00:19:25,526
You're welcome!
You're fired.
473
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:28,426
Fired?
474
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,293
After all
that I've done for you,
475
00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:32,143
this is the thanks
that I get?
476
00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:35,476
You can't fire me,
Maxwell Sheffield.
477
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,226
I quit!
478
00:19:39,459 --> 00:19:41,703
No. You fired me.
479
00:19:41,143 --> 00:19:43,193
That way,
I can collect unemployment.
480
00:19:48,209 --> 00:19:49,509
[KNOCKING]
481
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:53,226
I drove Ms. Babcock home
and called Betty Ford.
482
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,043
They'll pick her up
in the morning.
483
00:19:57,703 --> 00:19:58,243
Thank you, Niles.
484
00:19:58,276 --> 00:20:00,543
I noticed you didn't get
a chance to eat, sir.
485
00:20:00,873 --> 00:20:01,509
I thought you might
be a bit peckish.
486
00:20:03,343 --> 00:20:05,359
I overreacted, didn't I?
487
00:20:05,393 --> 00:20:07,393
Like Reagan in Grenada.
488
00:20:11,226 --> 00:20:12,459
It's just that...
489
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:15,209
Maggie looked
so like her mother.
490
00:20:16,159 --> 00:20:18,043
I've already lost Sarah. I--
491
00:20:19,203 --> 00:20:21,043
I didn't want to lose
my little girl.
492
00:20:21,373 --> 00:20:22,459
I quite understand, sir.
493
00:20:28,703 --> 00:20:29,243
What is this?
494
00:20:29,276 --> 00:20:32,243
I believe Miss Fine calls it
"a light nosh."
495
00:20:34,203 --> 00:20:35,309
It's delicious.
496
00:20:35,343 --> 00:20:36,359
Miss Fine, eh?
497
00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:37,409
Yes, sir.
498
00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:40,343
Just what you needed.
499
00:20:44,293 --> 00:20:47,176
Niles, you're not talking
about the sandwich, are you?
500
00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:50,226
No, sir...
501
00:20:50,259 --> 00:20:51,476
not the sandwich.
502
00:20:54,193 --> 00:20:55,226
[CHUCKLES]
503
00:20:55,259 --> 00:20:57,543
Fran, you need a Mallomar?
504
00:20:57,873 --> 00:21:00,309
Oh, no, Ma. Food's not the
answer to everything.
505
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:02,526
Meanwhile,
your father and I have based
506
00:21:03,203 --> 00:21:05,376
our entire relationship
around food.
507
00:21:05,409 --> 00:21:08,203
Passion goes. Sex goes.
508
00:21:08,543 --> 00:21:10,703
Communication, we never had...
509
00:21:11,373 --> 00:21:13,873
but food is forever.
510
00:21:13,159 --> 00:21:14,293
Okay.
511
00:21:15,509 --> 00:21:17,326
Morty!
512
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,443
You want another Mallomar?
513
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:22,393
Morty!
514
00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:24,159
Ma, Daddy can't hear you.
515
00:21:24,193 --> 00:21:26,703
He's watching the game.
516
00:21:26,143 --> 00:21:28,409
Why can't I find a guy
like him,
517
00:21:28,443 --> 00:21:30,203
deaf and on a pension.
518
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,526
You will.
519
00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:37,209
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
I'll get it. I'll get it.
520
00:21:40,873 --> 00:21:41,443
Oh, God. Ma.
521
00:21:41,476 --> 00:21:43,143
Mr. Sheffield.
522
00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,203
I'm sorry to disturb you,
Miss Fine.
523
00:21:45,543 --> 00:21:47,459
I just wanted
to drop off
the rest of your things.
524
00:21:47,493 --> 00:21:50,259
You could never
disturb
anyone, darling.
525
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,476
I'm Fran's mother, Sylvia.
526
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:56,373
Maxwell Sheffield.
527
00:21:56,703 --> 00:21:58,209
Come on in.
I'll make you some Ovaltine.
528
00:21:58,243 --> 00:22:00,443
Oh, well, I'm sure
I'd love some,
529
00:22:00,476 --> 00:22:02,226
but I really can't stay.
530
00:22:02,259 --> 00:22:04,176
There's a mob surrounding
the limousine.
531
00:22:04,209 --> 00:22:05,526
Oh, I'll take care of that.
532
00:22:06,203 --> 00:22:07,376
Wait a minute here.
533
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:10,209
Get away from that limo!
Nobody died.
534
00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:11,509
There's no vacancies.
535
00:22:12,476 --> 00:22:14,243
It's dog-eat-dog
536
00:22:14,276 --> 00:22:17,543
when you got a two-bedroom
that's rent control.
537
00:22:17,873 --> 00:22:18,176
Have a seat.
538
00:22:18,209 --> 00:22:20,043
Here, wait a minute.
539
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,276
Put on some blush.
540
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,476
Ma, can we have
a little
privacy?
541
00:22:25,509 --> 00:22:27,393
All right.
I can take a hint.
542
00:22:27,426 --> 00:22:30,409
Mr. Sheffield,enchantée.
543
00:22:35,443 --> 00:22:37,443
You have plastic
on your furniture.
544
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,426
Yeah. They're
preserving
it for the afterlife.
545
00:22:43,873 --> 00:22:44,443
How's Maggie?
546
00:22:44,476 --> 00:22:46,209
Well, she isn't speaking to me,
547
00:22:46,243 --> 00:22:48,426
but Brighton tells me
she's fine.
548
00:22:48,459 --> 00:22:50,409
Brighton?
Yes.
549
00:22:50,443 --> 00:22:53,276
He's been surprisingly
attentive to her.
550
00:22:53,309 --> 00:22:55,203
Wouldn't tell me why.
551
00:22:55,543 --> 00:22:56,309
Kept saying something
about me getting old
552
00:22:56,343 --> 00:22:58,143
and where I'd live.
553
00:23:00,476 --> 00:23:02,276
Kids.
Hmm.
554
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:07,243
I'm sorry things
didn't work out.
555
00:23:08,376 --> 00:23:10,276
Oh, look, I mean, uh...
556
00:23:10,309 --> 00:23:12,509
you and I, we come
from very different
worlds.
557
00:23:13,043 --> 00:23:16,276
I mean, if I were
you,
and I hired me...
558
00:23:17,176 --> 00:23:19,203
I'd be thrilled.
Who's kidding who?
559
00:23:21,703 --> 00:23:22,343
Yes, but you're not me.
560
00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,443
As a matter of fact,
you're not like anyone
else
I've ever met...
561
00:23:25,476 --> 00:23:28,259
which is not altogether
a bad thing...
562
00:23:29,259 --> 00:23:30,476
necessarily.
563
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:35,143
Perhaps if we tried to respect
each other's differences,
564
00:23:36,293 --> 00:23:38,309
we could give it another go?
565
00:23:38,343 --> 00:23:40,293
Are you asking me to come back?
566
00:23:41,493 --> 00:23:43,226
So it seems.
567
00:23:44,343 --> 00:23:46,373
So, what you're
really saying is
568
00:23:46,703 --> 00:23:49,703
you feel terrible about
this whole damn thing,
569
00:23:49,143 --> 00:23:51,176
and if you could,
you'd get down on
your hands and knees
570
00:23:51,209 --> 00:23:52,326
and apologize.
571
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,443
Miss Fine--
Apology accepted!
572
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:57,243
Ma, pack my
things.
He wants me back!
573
00:23:57,276 --> 00:23:58,393
Smile!
574
00:24:09,376 --> 00:24:12,393
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
37196
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