Original subtitles

But yeah, every journalist on the scene

But yeah, every journalist on the scene

But yeah, every journalist on the scene last night was a bonafide hero. And by

last night was a bonafide hero. And by

last night was a bonafide hero. And by the way, I'm including the Daily Show in

the way, I'm including the Daily Show in

the way, I'm including the Daily Show in that and our own intrepid reporter that

that and our own intrepid reporter that

that and our own intrepid reporter that we actually sent to that dinner.

we actually sent to that dinner.

we actually sent to that dinner. >> Triumph the insult comic dog who is on

>> Triumph the insult comic dog who is on

>> Triumph the insult comic dog who is on the red carpet for the White House

the red carpet for the White House

the red carpet for the White House correspondents dinner trying to get

correspondents dinner trying to get

correspondents dinner trying to get interviews along with the rest of the

interviews along with the rest of the

interviews along with the rest of the press. Can't miss Triumph the Insult

press. Can't miss Triumph the Insult

press. Can't miss Triumph the Insult Comic Dog trying to

Comic Dog trying to

Comic Dog trying to cracking some jokes, no doubt, at

cracking some jokes, no doubt, at

cracking some jokes, no doubt, at Secretary Rubio.

Secretary Rubio.

Secretary Rubio. >> Why is Triumph here? I am I am covering

>> Why is Triumph here? I am I am covering

>> Why is Triumph here? I am I am covering the red carpet and I don't mean Jen

the red carpet and I don't mean Jen

the red carpet and I don't mean Jen Saki.

To talk more about his experience,

To talk more about his experience,

To talk more about his experience, please welcome our own intrepid reporter

please welcome our own intrepid reporter

please welcome our own intrepid reporter Triumph the Insult comic dog.

Triumph the Insult comic dog.

Triumph the Insult comic dog. Thank you very much. THANK YOU VERY

Thank you very much. THANK YOU VERY

Thank you very much. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Look at that. Look at that. Thank

MUCH. Look at that. Look at that. Thank

MUCH. Look at that. Look at that. Thank you so much.

you so much.

you so much. Oh yes. So, so, so triumph. Yes. John, h

Oh yes. So, so, so triumph. Yes. John, h

Oh yes. So, so, so triumph. Yes. John, h >> how do you feel uh after being at this

>> how do you feel uh after being at this

>> how do you feel uh after being at this dinner on Saturday?

dinner on Saturday?

dinner on Saturday? >> Well, you know, John, I'm not the person

>> Well, you know, John, I'm not the person

>> Well, you know, John, I'm not the person who likes to throw around the word hero.

who likes to throw around the word hero.

who likes to throw around the word hero. BUT AFTER SATURDAY, I CAN'T help not

BUT AFTER SATURDAY, I CAN'T help not

BUT AFTER SATURDAY, I CAN'T help not only throw it around, but put it on a

only throw it around, but put it on a

only throw it around, but put it on a metal and have it printed at Staples.

metal and have it printed at Staples.

metal and have it printed at Staples. >> It's it's it's quite impressive.

>> It's it's it's quite impressive.

>> It's it's it's quite impressive. >> That's 100% golden rod, John. No, I can

>> That's 100% golden rod, John. No, I can

>> That's 100% golden rod, John. No, I can see that.

see that.

see that. >> Take a look. Look at that.

>> Take a look. Look at that.

>> Take a look. Look at that. >> I look, I understand it was a traumatic

>> I look, I understand it was a traumatic

>> I look, I understand it was a traumatic evening.

evening.

evening. >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. >> You got to admit hero is a little bit

>> You got to admit hero is a little bit

>> You got to admit hero is a little bit much. Yes.

much. Yes.

much. Yes. >> Oh, so what? Wolf Blitzer's a hero? Oh,

>> Oh, so what? Wolf Blitzer's a hero? Oh,

>> Oh, so what? Wolf Blitzer's a hero? Oh, he reported without one shoe.

he reported without one shoe.

he reported without one shoe. >> Seriously, MAN. I'M OUT THERE WITH MY

>> Seriously, MAN. I'M OUT THERE WITH MY

>> Seriously, MAN. I'M OUT THERE WITH MY BALLS HANGING OUT.

BALLS HANGING OUT.

BALLS HANGING OUT. >> Were you worried about, to be honest,

>> Were you worried about, to be honest,

>> Were you worried about, to be honest, getting killed?

getting killed?

getting killed? >> Yes, but mostly because I didn't want

>> Yes, but mostly because I didn't want

>> Yes, but mostly because I didn't want RFK Jr. to eat my carcass.

RFK Jr. to eat my carcass.

RFK Jr. to eat my carcass. It's not THE WAY YOU WANT TO GO, JOHN.

It's not THE WAY YOU WANT TO GO, JOHN.

It's not THE WAY YOU WANT TO GO, JOHN. IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU WANT to go.

IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU WANT to go.

IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU WANT to go. But you know, try I have to tell you the

But you know, try I have to tell you the

But you know, try I have to tell you the the larger issue.

the larger issue.

the larger issue. >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. >> That we

>> That we

>> That we the larger issue we continue to have is

the larger issue we continue to have is

the larger issue we continue to have is gun violence and no effort to pass

gun violence and no effort to pass

gun violence and no effort to pass legislation to stop.

legislation to stop.

legislation to stop. >> John, John, John, please don't do this.

>> John, John, John, please don't do this.

>> John, John, John, please don't do this. Don't politicize a political event. I'm

Don't politicize a political event. I'm

Don't politicize a political event. I'm not it's not I'm not politicizing it,

not it's not I'm not politicizing it,

not it's not I'm not politicizing it, Trump. It is a fact. It is a fact that

Trump. It is a fact. It is a fact that

Trump. It is a fact. It is a fact that in America, another event is ruined by

in America, another event is ruined by

in America, another event is ruined by gun violence. And we're lucky this time.

gun violence. And we're lucky this time.

gun violence. And we're lucky this time. No, I'm going to keep talking. It's No,

No, I'm going to keep talking. It's No,

No, I'm going to keep talking. It's No, I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not

I John.

I John.

I John. Now is not the time.

Now is not the time.

Now is not the time. Now is not the time. Can I ask you a

Now is not the time. Can I ask you a

Now is not the time. Can I ask you a question? Did you wipe your feet when

question? Did you wipe your feet when

question? Did you wipe your feet when you came in?

you came in?

you came in? >> Uh, I used the same bathroom as Wolf

>> Uh, I used the same bathroom as Wolf

>> Uh, I used the same bathroom as Wolf Blitzer.

>> Clearly, you're still you're still

>> Clearly, you're still you're still

>> Clearly, you're still you're still traumatized.

traumatized.

traumatized. >> Yes. I went through so much.

>> Yes. I went through so much.

>> Yes. I went through so much. >> Yes.

>> Yes.

>> Yes. >> I contacted HR and told them I'm going

>> I contacted HR and told them I'm going

>> I contacted HR and told them I'm going to need an emotional support dog.

to need an emotional support dog.

to need an emotional support dog. >> Yes. Preferably a poodle who's into butt

>> Yes. Preferably a poodle who's into butt

>> Yes. Preferably a poodle who's into butt stuff.

stuff.

stuff. You know, a lot of people bring up uh

You know, a lot of people bring up uh

You know, a lot of people bring up uh the fact that we do also have a hate

the fact that we do also have a hate

the fact that we do also have a hate speech problem in this country. Do you

speech problem in this country. Do you

speech problem in this country. Do you think it's time we all take a look in

think it's time we all take a look in

think it's time we all take a look in the mirror? You know, there is talk

the mirror? You know, there is talk

the mirror? You know, there is talk about how we have to take the

about how we have to take the

about how we have to take the temperature down and then we have to

temperature down and then we have to

temperature down and then we have to Yeah. Yeah.

>> I have like five more jokes to get

>> I have like five more jokes to get

>> I have like five more jokes to get through.

through.

through. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. >> Then you can talk about temperature.

>> Then you can talk about temperature.

>> Then you can talk about temperature. >> All right. What else do you have?

>> All right. What else do you have?

>> All right. What else do you have? >> As I was saying, John,

>> As I was saying, John,

>> As I was saying, John, >> it was dramatic.

>> it was dramatic.

>> it was dramatic. Everything is still so fresh. ALL THESE

Everything is still so fresh. ALL THESE

Everything is still so fresh. ALL THESE SOUNDS ARE STILL IN MY EARS. The firing

SOUNDS ARE STILL IN MY EARS. The firing

SOUNDS ARE STILL IN MY EARS. The firing of the bullets, THE COMMANDS OF THE

of the bullets, THE COMMANDS OF THE

of the bullets, THE COMMANDS OF THE SECRET SERVICE, THE SATISFIED MOANS OF

SECRET SERVICE, THE SATISFIED MOANS OF

SECRET SERVICE, THE SATISFIED MOANS OF CASH PATEL'S GIRLFRIEND COMING FROM THE

CASH PATEL'S GIRLFRIEND COMING FROM THE

CASH PATEL'S GIRLFRIEND COMING FROM THE CLOSET.

>> WELL, thank you so much, Tribe. We'll

>> WELL, thank you so much, Tribe. We'll

>> WELL, thank you so much, Tribe. We'll have your full report on the show

have your full report on the show

have your full report on the show tomorrow. Thank you so much.

tomorrow. Thank you so much.

tomorrow. Thank you so much. >> You're really disgusting. You know,

>> You're really disgusting. You know,

>> You're really disgusting. You know, you've aged horribly. YOU LOOK JEWER

you've aged horribly. YOU LOOK JEWER

you've aged horribly. YOU LOOK JEWER THAN EVER. That's so sad. It's really

THAN EVER. That's so sad. It's really

THAN EVER. That's so sad. It's really awful.