Original subtitles

Isla, what are you telling me?

Lev, I can't marry you.

This is a joke.

- Lev. - I can't believe this is happening.

- Lev. Honey, just listen. - Please... please don't honey me.

Okay, you were the one who begged to get back together with me.

What kinda asshole breaks up with someone the night before the wedding?

Well, at least I didn't do it at the altar.

Oh, thank you. Do you know what it took to get my bubbe here?

We had to crush a Xanax, put it in her apple juice to get her on the plane.

- That's how much I wanted her to meet you. - I never asked you to drug your grandma.

Isla, stop.

Please, just... stop.

You are so selfish.

I... I can't believe I'm saying this, but ho... honestly...

I think you're a bad person.

Goodbye, Isla.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is how you lose a guy in ten minutes.

Since then, I've been living in Ness' guest house

to give Lev time to move out.

It's been a chance to mourn, reflect,

and be woken up every morning by Ness doing CrossFit.

God, Ness!

Sorry, I have to vocalize, otherwise I can't activate my glutes.

I only have 200 more.

Also, I can't stop thinking about what Lev said.

Am I a bad person?

When I really examine my daily choices, I feel like he might be right.

Goddammit! Isla!

♪ I'm gonna tell you today I'm gonna tell you tomorrow ♪

♪ All I need is you loving me... ♪

So what, did you get a...

Goddammit!

♪ As long as I can breathe ♪

Oh, goddammit.

Lev was right.

I'm a dick.

Oh!

Oh!

God!

My hands get wet.

Thanks for driving me from the remote lot.

I still can't believe they make us park all the way under the highway.

At least this way we get to spend more time together.

Do you know the dancers don't have health insurance?

I mean, I'm... I'm not defending them,

but they are always talking about how broke the team is.

Jackie, you just parked

between your brother's Maserati and your other brother's Maserati.

I gotta go.

I think I speak on behalf of the entire Waves organization

when I tell you we couldn't be more excited right now.

as we welcome Tommy White to Los Angeles.

Let's jump into it. Any questions?

Tommy White, you're the heartthrob of the league.

Is there any truth to you dating Kaia Gerber?

Okay, we're not gonna talk about Tommy's love life.

Although, with a face like that, I'm sure there's always more than one girl.

Yeah, Kaia and I are just friends.

We met in the greenroom at Hot Ones.

Tommy, what's been your favorite part of Los Angeles so far?

Oh, without a doubt, the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios.

I freaked out and... and punched the spitty one, the one that got Newman.

Uh, Tommy also has said he's excited about joining the fire recovery efforts.

There was a fire?

Let's stop it.

He's really happy to be here.

Tommy already loves LA.

We love it!

♪ I love LA ♪

♪ We love it ♪

♪ We love it ♪

Did Tommy just smile at you?

I don't know.

I just got an email that my kid's got lice.

What neighborhood did you settle in, Tommy?

Actually, I have no home.

- I'm homeless. - No, no, no.

He's actually staying at a very exclusive hotel.

It's nice.

It's hard to feel like a part of the community until I have a house.

I need those things that trees have in the dirt,

the branches that are underground.

- Roots. - Yeah, roots.

And that's impossible in a hotel.

That's really sad and beautiful.

Isla, at what point does temporary housing become negligence?

We will find Tommy a home.

We're very invested in Tommy, which is why we're paying him $200 million.

Next question.

Tommy, do you think you and Travis can share the ball?

What the hell, you guys?

How hard is it to find a McMansion in Los Angeles?

It's brutal out there.

Look, every house we've looked at has been rented to a Bachelor spinoff

or some oligarch's kid transferring to USC.

Okay, Sandy, what about your mom? Isn't she a real estate agent?

She just said that to get on Selling Sunset,

then they said she was too old, so now she does nothing again.

We are on it. I promise.

By sundown, Tommy White will be in his own personal Versailles.

We got a big problem.

Like, real big.

Jackie, she's your girlfriend. Explain.

She made a TikTok.

No, not just a TikTok.

A TikTok with 1.5 million views.

- What? - Screen-share.

POV, you're a professional dancer for the Waves.

It's 5:30 a.m., and you just got to work,

and your parking lot's giving major crime scene energy.

Security? Oh no, babe, it's a trust-based system.

And here's where the magic happens.

No mirrors, no heat, one broken Bluetooth speaker.

I wonder if Tommy White's $200 million locker room looks like this.

Don't worry. We get paid in exposure.

Anyway, we slay, even if the workplace doesn't.

Hashtag dancer life. Hashtag go LA Waves.

Hashtag minimum wage.

That little B!

- Also, she is so cute. - I know.

Oh my God. Ness, are you, like, emotional?

No, I was just really in her point of view.

- Oh God, there are thousands of comments. - What?

No, no, no. John Legend said, "Wow, that part."

"Isla Gordon ought to be ashamed of herself."

Oh my God, a Cynthia Erivo fan account said I'm the Wicked Bitch of the West.

So clever.

And Jackie commented, "That's my boo!"

I had to, so people knew she had a boyfriend,

but just because I hearted it doesn't mean I liked it in my heart.

Well, tell your little girlfriend to take it down.

Yeah.

Also, find out what kind of selfie stick she used

because Bituin and I need a little more stabilization.

- I don't know that she'll listen to me. - Make her!

We don't need some beautiful, ethnic Disney princess telling us we're cheap.

Know what? I'll call Bernie and ask him if we can fire her for a breach of contract.

Yeah, Dad fired the entire dance team every five years.

Loved himself a fresh batch of fillies.

He'd call up Hugh Hefner and say, "Hef, send me your best dancers."

- "I want curves. I want--" - No.

We are not firing any of the dancers, and we are not silencing Sofia.

We are better than that. I am better than that.

- You are? - Yes.

At least I am now.

Jackie, I want you to tell Sofia

that I had no idea the dancers were working under such conditions,

and I promise to fix them,

and please tell Sofia I'd like to sit down with her.

So, Tommy, this is George Clooney's house.

He's on Broadway doing an adaptation of Syriana.

Damn. He looks a lot different than I remember.

No, no, no, that's his best friend, Richard Kind.

Yeah, George is a big LA Waves fan and is willing to rent this out to you.

That's so cool. Have you guys seen Ocean's Eleven?

- Yes. - Of course, yes.

I just saw it and did not get it at all. I gotta go back and watch the first ten.

Hey, an upstairs. That's probably where the bedrooms are.

And this is the primary.

The mattress cost more than my first car.

Yeah, I... I don't know about this thread count.

Would you sleep on this bed, Sandy?

Uh, probably not. I travel with my own pillowcase and sheets.

I get rashes from most detergents.

You're a little freak, huh?

I'm gonna go check out the bowling alley.

Dude, he was totally hitting on you.

- Tommy? No way. - Yeah.

I guess it was flirty for him to call me a little freak while perched on a bed,

but he's straight, right?

That's what I thought,

but maybe he's into pasty, anxious men with good posture. Get on that.

I can't hook up with a player. That's... that's not professional.

It's nothing a delicately-worded letter to HR can't take care of.

I should go check on Tommy. I'm worried he'll break George's Oscar.

Lev blocked me?

You wanted to see me?

Hi. Sofia, yes, come on in.

I just wanted to catch up.

Have you seen... the new murder show?

I know you want me to take down the video, but I won't.

I would never, okay? Freedom of speech.

Second Amendment.

- Mm, first Amendment. - Even better.

- Mm. - You know, I just wanted to say

that I was already planning on surprising you girls with a tasty perk.

It might not be a lot of cash, but there is a lot of dough.

Oh God, don't say you're offering us a pizza party.

No, of course not.

I would never do that.

Look, I've written up a list of demands, and it's what we think we fairly deserve.

I will read this right away.

I want you to know that the Waves dancers are a priority for me.

I think you guys deserve the world.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Isla, can I just say that, um,

it really means a lot that you're doing this.

Thank you.

These demands are insane. We can't afford this.

We can't afford or don't want to afford.

They want better benefits than we have, and ours aren't that great.

They want maternity leave?

I mean, that's great.

It's beautiful, empowering, but pregnant dancers?

Nobody wants to see a baby bump under a crop top.

- Oh! - They work so hard.

Dancing while people are on their phones and going to the bathroom.

We have to pay them more.

Dad always said their payment was a chance to dance in front of lonely, rich men

who can make 'em their wives or at least keep 'em as a little side piece.

We can't take on any more expenses.

Marcus's statue alone is costing us a fortune.

We're on the fifth revision

because he didn't like the way they sculpted his calves.

Isla, you know all this. Is this about Lev?

- I know he was pretty tough on you. - You've been emotional lately.

This morning at breakfast when I gently farted, you lost it.

It smelled awful.

You never took a break after the wedding, or the almost wedding.

- It's okay if you wanna step back. - No! I do not need time off!

Dad was divorced like a million times and never took one day off.

- Well, what do you want to do? - I know that we can't give them a raise.

But there are things that don't cost much that show we care.

I guess we could upgrade their equipment, you know, get 'em a few more massage guns.

We could get rid of the rule that dancers can't date the players.

No, I think that's a good rule, actually.

We could provide a meal stipend on game days.

Yes! Let's write this up.

There, see?

We are helping people.

Was that that hard?

- Ah. - Hm.

Hey, I got the numbers on returning season ticket holder revenue.

What were you just doing?

Oh, nothing. I was just seeing if you could take creatine while on Accutane,

- and you can, and it's... - Mmm...

Oh my God, you were Google stalking Tommy.

I knew you liked him.

I barely knew who this man was 24 hours ago,

and now because of you, if I don't hook up with him, I will die.

The Internet is useless.

Look him up on Instagram on your phone to find out if he's gay.

Why can't you use your phone?

Because I'm afraid my fingers'll twitch

and I'll double tap a shirtless photo of him from ten years ago.

Sandy, he has 14 million followers.

He's not going to notice if some random otter likes an old photo.

Otter? I am still a twink.

- Okay, fine. - Thank you.

First up, Tommy at New York Fashion Week. Come on, that's pretty gay.

Or he's sleeping with a model.

Okay.

See? Here he is at a Dua Lipa concert.

Every straight man in the world thinks Dua Lipa is the hottest woman alive.

Fine.

Oh! Here he is at a Formula One race.

Race cars?

- Mm-hmm. - That's aggressively heterosexual.

Not if all the drivers are hot European guys with perfect cheekbones.

- They are? - Mm-hmm.

- Jesus, these men are flawless. - Mm-hmm.

I need to follow every single one of them immediately.

Sandy, look, I can't do your self-doubting, insecure shit now.

Tommy likes you.

My gaydar is never wrong.

- I knew you were gay before you did. - Really?

- Mm-hmm. - How?

You liked Judy Blume and wore ankle socks.

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Bust a move ♪

♪ Come on ♪

- Hey. - Hey.

Did we hear back from Sofia yet?

No, but the dancers' appreciation post is getting solid engagement.

Oh, that's good.

At least they can't say I didn't try.

Oh, Clooney said Tommy could stay as long as he waters his plants.

Oh, things are good.

And now, your Waves City Dancers.

Oh my fucking God.

♪ Now we dream so high that we fly ♪

♪ And we aim for the sky so we fly... ♪

Mama, she looked right at you.

♪ Let's fly... ♪

Sofia's here for her meeting, but--

Jackie, I know this might affect your sex life,

but I'm gonna scream at your girlfriend.

Where do you get the nerve?

Please refrain from speaking to my client in that tone.

"She's not alone" is the end of what I was saying.

Thank you, Jackie.

Isla, Diane Robicheaux,

civil rights attorney, feminist, legal scholar,

occasional host on The View when someone's getting work done.

I know who you are. Didn't you sue Subway?

Eleven and a half inches is not a footlong.

And in America, that still means something.

So you hired a lawyer?

When I saw the brave dancers' actions last night,

I said to myself, "Oh, hell yeah."

And then my daughter showed me Sofia's TikTok, and I said, "Oh, hell no."

And then I said, "Hell, I'm getting involved."

And yes, I talk to myself a lot.

Maybe you should have talked yourself out of coming to my office and ambushing me.

Excuse me?

Diane, I am dealing with constraints far beyond the dancers' situation.

I run a very complicated business and have made the dancers a fair offer.

You mean the performative one that costs you nothing.

It's obvious you're just trying to save face.

I mean, pompoms and green Gatorade?

- The grossest flavor. - Mm.

There was pizza. Sofia rejected that.

Also, if it wasn't for me,

they would've been ignored and given nothing.

- I expected better from you. - Why? We don't even know each other.

But the millions of people who watched Sofia's TikTok know who you are,

and they are not happy.

Yeah, but one Marcus Winfield highlight gets 100 times more views.

And at the end of the day, that's who the fans come to see.

- So my hands are a little tied. - Well, tie your hands around this.

Here is our new proposal, including a substantial pay bump.

I look forward to forcing you to do the right thing.

Come on, Sofia.

That's it. I am done with these girls.

Oh, I take it your meeting with Sofia didn't go well?

It wasn't just Sofia.

They hired Diane Robicheaux.

Oh, Jesus. Diane is a legend.

You know she's in Oprah's inner circle,

like calls her "O" and doesn't get corrected?

I try to give everyone everything.

I give, and I give, and I still can't make anyone happy.

Well, guess what?

If that makes me a bad person, then I guess that's what I am.

Does this mean we're getting rid of them?

Sorry, Jackie. Ness, find me new dancers.

You got it.

Let's see if I can dig up any disgraced Rockettes.

Here is everything for the rental.

Key codes, Wi-Fi.

And George says no shoes inside the house unless you're Matt Damon.

Cool. Yeah, I get that.

Oh, and, uh, we got some tickets to a couple concerts,

but they're both on Saturday.

So, who would you prefer to see, Lady Gaga or Post Malone?

Oh, not even a question. Gaga.

I thought so.

Yeah, one of my girls is coming to town. She's a huge Little Monster.

So sick, living in the Cloon's house.

Bad news. Tommy's straight.

And now I have to get Lady Gaga to perform in LA next weekend.

Thank you so much for taking me out to dinner.

Sorry.

Is that about the... work situation?

Yeah.

The girls are so excited that Diane's helping us,

and it really feels like this is all coming to an end.

Yeah. You're at the end, all right.

What does that mean?

I'm just saying, no matter where you do it, it's still dancing.

It d... doesn't matter if you're on a team or at, like, a club.

Sometimes I just... dance in my kitchen.

Wait, Jackie, are they... are they gonna fire us?

Oh...

No.

I cannot believe Isla.

Oh my God.

- Sofia, I'm sorry. Mamita, please. - No, I gotta go, Jackie.

- I gotta go. - I just...

Isla, you are gonna want to see this.

- Code Lavender. - Code Lavender?

The Waves City Dancers have made clear, reasonable requests.

But Isla Gordon refuses to offer even the bare minimum.

That is me leaving the eye doctor. Why would they use that photo?

Why is your posture so bad?

Do you have scoliosis?

Isla Gordon can't improve her dancers' conditions,

but she can rent George Clooney's mansion for $150,000 a month

for a player who already makes $54 million a year.

Make it make sense, people.

- How did she get the monthly rates? - She must be boys with Cloons.

And if they even attempt to replace any of these dancers,

we will be filing a wrongful termination suit.

Oh, come on!

When I first spoke with Isla, I thought I had a new sister.

Someone who shattered the glass ceiling for all women,

but it turns out,

she just wants those shards to cut the rest of us.

- I'll take your questions. - Oh!

- Well, that was powerful. - Yeah, and poetic.

How did Diane know we were gonna replace the dancers? Hm?

It sounds like we're all stumped and should just move on.

Oh!

Jackie! You told Sofia?

She pulled it out of me, but I'm still on your side.

After it happened, she invited me up, and I said no.

- There is no way that's true. - More bad news.

Clooney's realtor just said,

George stands with the dancers and won't rent the house out to us.

You know what? This has Amal Clooney's fingerprints all over it.

Enough is enough. I'm putting an end to this.

Diane, we need to talk.

When I said I wanted to meet,

I was hoping it'd be more like Sunset Tower,

not an old-age home in Pacoima.

I'm glad you came, Isla.

It means a lot. Let's go inside.

Oh, can't wait.

Oh please, I can't do another Make-a-Wish where the person doesn't know who I am.

Would you stop it?

Just look.

Sofia works here 30 hours a week

and then rehearsals and games.

All the girls have to work a second job to make ends meet.

Jackie didn't tell me this.

I mean, not that I asked, but...

Sofia!

I brought a visitor with me.

I see that.

- Um, this is Lois. - Hello.

Sofia's my favorite.

She never lets me give up.

Just look at that face.

I keep telling her she should marry my son.

She's actually dating my brother.

You bitch!

- Oh my God. - What the hell?

I've heard all about you.

- What the hell? - You better sleep with one eye open.

I think we've seen everything, uh, we need to see.

Oh my God. Diane, what was that? She's a monster.

How does Sofia deal with her?

Sofia's one of the lucky ones.

Some of the other girls have to do graveyard shifts with Uber

or some really freaky-deaky stuff on OnlyFans.

Feet videos, mukbang,

eating a bowl of ramen on top of a washing machine.

Mm.

Life shouldn't be that hard.

Okay.

I'll do what I can.

Like, in a real way.

- That's all I needed to hear. - Yeah.

Do I smell like apple juice?

Welcome to the brand-new Waves City Dancers dressing room,

sponsored by Sephora.

Also, you're all getting four tickets for friends and family.

You should be very proud. You helped make this happen.

Yeah, Diane's actually kinda inspired me.

She actually offered me an internship.

What? Well, that's... that's amazing!

Thing is, though, it's... it's in Washington.

As in Mount Washington, like the neighborhood in Los Angeles?

As in Washington, D.C.

All right.

Well, I just wanna say

that the LA Waves wouldn't be the same without the Waves City Dancers,

so we are going to give you a raise and health insurance.

That said, do not pull a stunt like that again.

Seriously.

And, Jackie, would you mind passing out the new contracts?

Wow. Isla Gordon.

Tougher to crack than I expected, but eventually you caved.

I mean, did the right thing.

Mm. And maybe now you'll go on the record

and say that you were wrong, and I am a good person?

Girl, you have got to get over that.

Diane, it's been... interesting,

and I really admire you as a person,

and I hope we never interact again.

Uh, not so fast.

The girls have one more request.

Fine. As long as it doesn't cost me any more money.

Lev.

Lev.

Isla, what are you doing here?

I thought we agreed that I had until five so we wouldn't see each other.

I want to talk to you. Wait, are you taking the sconces?

Yes. I bought them.

Also, I'm taking the golf clubs that I bought you that you never use.

You and my cousin are the same height.

Wait. Lev.

I hated the way things ended between us, and I want you to know that

I never wanted to hurt you.

And I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that.

Yeah.

And even though you blocked me on all social media,

Uh-huh.

I care about you and really hope we can be friends someday.

You know I don't regret everything that I said.

But you're not a bad person.

And you were probably right to call off the wedding.

And you were right that it would've been way worse at the altar.

Yeah.

Okay.

We shouldn't get back together, shouldn't we?

Oh my God. No.

And please don't joke like that. It's too soon.

I'm still really mad.

Okay, I'm just gonna walk around the neighborhood until you're done.

I gotta go to the bathroom. What the hell is this halftime surprise?

Make some noise for your Waves City Dancers.

♪ Get up, get up, get up ♪

♪ He said, "Hi, my name is so-and-so" ♪

♪ "Baby, can you tell me yours" ♪

Oh!

♪ "You look like you came to do one thing" Set it off ♪

♪ I started on the left ♪

♪ Then I had to take him to the right ♪

♪ He was out of breath But he kept on dancin' all night ♪

- ♪ Get up ♪ - ♪ Ooh, ah ♪

♪ The way you look at me I'm feelin' you, uh ♪

♪ Ah, I feel it ♪

♪ I just can't help it Tryin' to keep it cool, uh ♪

♪ The club is jumpin' now So get up ♪

♪ Now beat 'em down to the floor ♪

♪ Beat 'em down to the floor ♪

♪ Choo-choo-choo-choo ♪

♪ Choo-choo-choo-choo ♪

♪ It's rocket time, it's rocket time ♪

♪ Get pretty girl, rock So take a picture ♪

♪ Ching-ching-ching-ching ♪

♪ Ching-ching-ching-ching ♪

Yeah!

All right!

Yeah!

That was so fun.

What can you take with Accutane?

Hey, what's up, man?

You, uh... you free tonight?

Uh... I was going to watch a couple of eps of Formula One.

Uh, why?

Nah, I was just... I was thinking, you know...

maybe we do this.

Also, I need a place to stay.

It seemed like you're someone who keeps extra towels.

That's, um... not wrong.

Let's go.