Original subtitles

Tonight on Acapulco Heat.

We can be quick.

I told you we wouldn't be late.

Well, we are late. Ten minutes late. Ten minutes is not late. Two hours is late.

Two hours?

Why show up at all?

Look, they haven't even come out yet. So get off my case.

I'm not on your case. I just like to be on time, that's all. Well, the trouble

with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.

Is that one of your parole officers?

My father.

Oh, it makes sense.

You're going to rob a bank? Perfect timing is essential.

He was not a bank robber. He was a cat burglar.

Hey, Tommy!

Cass! Brett!

How have you been?

I can tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Guys, I want you to meet the love of my life, Tina Cobb. Hey, how you doing?

Tina.

Hey, nice car. I love that.

Hey, guys!

How are you?

Marcos? Marcos?

Oh, my God.

What's going on, man?

Hey, look at you, man. Look at you.

Come on. Hey, Tina, how you doing? It's margarita time. Come on. We got three

years of catching up to this.

Oh,

man.

That was classic. I'm such a big guy. Who do you know?

Come on.

Great time.

We'll cruise around in the limo, drink piña coladas, dance, eat a whole

enchilada. Thank you.

Best no thank you.

Is he always like that?

Only when he's in love.

Ah, you're right.

He is always like that.

Brett, Daddy wants me to come.

Be right back.

So much for thinking we ditched the great Senator Edward Cobb.

Not your favorite person, I gather.

The pompous jerk who thinks I'm after his daughter's money.

I wonder if you would accompany me.

Who are you?

Please, do as I say or I'll be forced to shoot you.

Not in our room or the lobby.

So? Weird.

Why's that weird?

It's not like Tina to just take off.

Well, maybe her father asked her to do that.

You know, important.

Yeah, like dump me and come home to daddy.

He really hates you that much, huh?

More. I'm sure she hasn't run off. She loves you too much.

Spoken like a true French chick.

Chick?

I think mademoiselle was the word you were looking for. Absolutely,

mademoiselle. It's one of my favorite words. I use it all the time. In fact,

you have dinner with me tonight... Give me the rice, Romeo.

I'll be at the boutique.

I hope I see you again soon.

You know, that figures.

I play Prince Charming, she blows me off. You ignore her, she goes gaga over

you. It's a figure with French women.

You let them do all the talking.

Hey, let's just move Frenchly. Hey!

You looking to start a war here?

I'll let you show up on time for it. I'm going to check out the hotel, see if I

can track down Tina. We'll go with you.

Just like old times, eh? Yeah, you could say that.

Yeah.

She's not in the room.

The doorman says he thinks he saw Tina leaving with some guy.

What did he look like?

He doesn't remember.

It must be a mistake.

Like I said, Tina wouldn't just take off like that.

You're not telling me something.

I gotta know now. What is it?

He says Tina wasn't leaving willingly.

She's been kidnapped.

Okay, now. Don't jump to conclusions.

I mean, we don't know that yet. Not for sure.

It makes sense. Senator Cobb's a very rich man.

A very rich man who has kids are faced with that reality every day of their

lives. Even so, it's too early to call it a kidnapping.

I mean, there hasn't been any ransom calls yet. Yeah, man. That's right.

It's before we push the panic bundlers.

Let's get the people together. We'll go search the whole town.

I'll call Nicole and Joanne and tell them to meet us.

Oh, in the meantime, that picture of Tina you showed us, get a Xerox.

That'll save us a lot of time and questions.

Hey,

I'm melting. You want to go get a drink, beer, soda, something?

I think we should keep looking.

Am I that much of a turnoff?

What?

Well, you know, I keep knocking at your door. You keep acting like nobody's

home.

Perhaps you should knock on another door.

Marcos, yo, do me a favor.

My fiance is missing and you're hitting on Nicole.

Why, is that a problem, bro? I'd be happier if you waited until after we

Tina.

Hi.

Any word from anyone?

Not yet.

Don't worry.

We'll find her.

I wish I had your confidence.

Before I forget, the hotel left you a message.

Senator Cobb called.

He wants to know why Tina hasn't returned his calls. He said you're to

or else. Great.

Just what I need to tell him his darling daughter's been kidnapped.

You can use our phone if you like.

Thanks, but I like to do my bleeding in private.

Well, I know you don't need this.

Jim.

Well... That's 8 ,000 pesos you owe me.

You get out and trade.

You don't mind paying off my debts, do you, chiquita?

Please, call my father.

He's rich. He'll pay whatever you ask.

What do you say, Ernesto?

Should we shoot her first and then call her daddy?

Leo, don't hurt her, Ricardo.

She thinks he's a comedian.

Nobody's gonna hurt you.

One more and I break my record.

And then you're going to have dinner with me, remember?

I never said that.

My Uncle Eli built a pyramid once.

Uncle Zach, Uncle Bob, Uncle Eli. How many uncles do you have?

Eight, counting both sides of the family. And 11 aunts.

Apparently birth control is not a high priority in your family.

Aunt Rose says it's on account of the long winters.

Aunt Rose?

Uncle Eli's second wife.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

So Uncle Eli was what? An engineer?

Milkman. Wait a minute. Why would a milkman want to build a pyramid?

Oh, he didn't. Aunt Rose tricked him into it.

Why? Well, Uncle Eli saved milk bottles.

Milk bottles?

Yes. Their whole garage was full of them. Aunt Rose had just bought this new

car, you see, and winter was coming, and she wanted to... park joanna cut to the

chase what about the pyramid oh aunt rose bet uncle eli he couldn't build a

pyramid out of milk bottles in the backyard and then she could park her car

the garage you guys look like you're enjoying yourself hey bro any news would

you care if there was of course i wouldn't care what kind of dumb question

that the kind of poor man capnova like you

Right there, man.

Maybe we should finish this conversation somewhere else.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bad idea, right? Bad idea.

Come on, whoa, whoa.

Just chill out. Just chill out. Okay.

Okay.

Look.

Give him a little rest, huh, you know?

He's got barbed wire just chewing up his guts right now. Yeah.

Well, well, you're just the lowlife I'm looking for.

You sure didn't waste any time getting here, Senator?

Well, I got on the first plane as soon as I learned you dragged my daughter

here. I didn't drag Tina anywhere. She came willingly.

Oh, I wouldn't believe that for a minute, not one second.

Listen, no daughter of mine would go and pick a loser like you.

Hey, hey, Sonny, come back here.

Don't you dare walk away while I'm talking.

Then quit yelling.

Well, I win as soon as you tell me what you've done with my daughter Tina.

Done?

What do you think I've done with her?

God knows. Killed after? Maybe you even killed her for all I know.

You're crazy.

Why would I kill someone I'm in love with? For her money. What else?

Look, you knew that Tina had made out a new will leaving everything to you.

That's a lie.

Baloney! Her lawyer said that she did it because you had threatened to dump her

if she did... Don't you... Go to hell, Senator.

Hey, look, you see that? He hit me.

God, little bastard.

Wait, you hit a United States Senator? I didn't hit him.

I almost...

Wouldn't you if he accused you of murdering his daughter?

Yeah, probably, but, you know, it wouldn't make it any less stupid.

Uh -oh.

We got company.

Arrest him.

For what?

Assault.

Get

me

out, will ya?

No bail? What are you talking about?

Senator Cobb nixed it. He can't do that. This is Mexico, not the U .S. When you

have enough money and political clout, you can do anything, anywhere.

Decayus Senator, are you out of your mind?

I didn't hit him.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

Hey. Yours. Now chill out.

That's right. Going ballistic's not going to help because the Senator's

all the aces.

Look, Marcos is working on his Uncle Gomez. His wife's brother is the chief

police, and hopefully they'll persuade him to intercede on her behalf, and

hopefully he'll get out of here. I got a roommate named Rocco who thinks I

remind him of his girlfriend.

Good luck.

It's not for a guy who's only exercised lately.

It's been warm in the seat of a limo.

I thought you owned a company.

I do, but my cousin who I hired to work for me took off on me at the last

minute. I was stuck for a driver, you know.

Uh -huh.

Hey, any word on Tina or Brett?

Nothing.

Weird, don't you think?

What?

That we've heard nothing from the kidnap.

Yeah, I think the same thing. She was kidnapped.

Well, what else?

Would you need something that we don't?

No. I was wondering if there are other alternatives.

Like what?

I don't know.

But what if another cop is right and Brett is somehow involved?

Involved? How? I don't know.

Take a guess.

Well, call me suspicious.

But it's possible, you know, that...

Maybe Brett had something to do with his discipline.

What?

How? Do you have any French mind?

Hey, Brett wouldn't murder anybody.

Hey, I didn't say murder.

No, no, no. Brett was our partner.

Okay? Now, I trust him with my life, and I have on many occasions.

I know that. But I also know that sometimes people change.

Now, I'm not saying... No way.

Okay. Here's a thought.

Maybe the kidnappers called a center ransom note to the center's home in San

Diego. Or... Maybe even his office in Washington.

And he hasn't been notified yet. Good call, Joanna.

Why don't you go check it out?

Listen, Brett doesn't have anything to do with Smith's disappearance.

That you can take to the bank.

Okay.

Did I tell you, Ernesto, we're not getting paid enough money?

Kidnapping's a dangerous business.

at least twice, maybe three times the amount he's giving us.

But we aren't really snappers.

Will you tell that to the thinking judge if we're caught?

No, amigo.

Next time we see him, I'm going to tell him we want more money.

Lots more.

Or we'll cut her throat.

Come on now.

Behave yourself.

Let me in.

All right.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Bingo.

Captain Moreno.

I'm here to see the giant prisoner.

On your feet, senor.

Where are we going?

The defense.

Me? I think we should get the hell out of here.

Marcos?

Man, am I glad to see you.

Somehow I thought you would be. Here, eat this.

Dope. Are you nuts?

Why? Because we're missing a very important item that's vital to your

Like what? The keys.

Hurry up! Something's wrong with the prisoner!

If I hadn't have known, I thought you'd have flipped out myself.

I did.

Give me the full bar of soap.

Okay, let's have it.

How'd you pull this off? Bottom line, one of my cousins is an actor on the

Mexican soap.

Plays a cop.

Man, I'm a jerk.

Thinking you didn't care or... Forgive me?

On one condition, bro.

Name it.

When you come to Mexico City, you rent one of my limos.

You got it, amigo.

All right.

Hey, Colonel!

I should arrest you, huh?

For what?

For helping your American friend to break out of jail.

Brett's broken out of jail? When?

Or is it a government secret?

That's very funny.

Seriously, we had nothing to do with it. Do not act so innocent. I know it was

you. And when I can prove it, I will arrest all of you. Colonel, I swear it

was... Mr. Richardson is a wanted man.

We will find him. If he tries to resist, he will be shot.

Is that clear?

Come on, let's go.

You guys are crazy. You know that?

The cops are talking about shooting you on sight.

You've got to find me first.

Yeah, I'm stashing him away with my Uncle Ignacio.

Mr. Gypsy, we call him.

The way that guy gets around, it'd be easier to find the invisible man.

Well, he's a calm man, but sleep with my eyes open, because Colonel Pappy is

really ticked.

Who cares?

Without Tina, my wife's one big fat zero anyway.

I'm just glad you guys believe in me.

It'd be a real drag to go this alone.

Well, that's something you don't ever have to worry about.

We're here for you.

Always.

Any news on Tina?

Nothing.

We know some markers as relatives. We got this whole town covered.

Not even a trace of her.

What the hell she disappeared to?

Well, she didn't fly out of here.

And she didn't leave by boat. At least not under her own name.

I checked all the airlines and cruise ship passenger lists.

Nothing. Well, I guess we gotta face it. She really was kidnapped.

Then why haven't the kidnappers demanded any ransom?

I checked Senator Cobb's phone records from San Diego and D .C. and then ran

them past my FBI friend.

And he says no one's contacted them.

Curious and curious, I said the cat to Alice.

You want curious?

Brett said Senator Cobb told him he flew down as soon as he heard Tina was

missing.

So?

It's true, he did.

But why did he? I mean, why did he? Joanna, this isn't going to be like one

your long -winded stories, is it?

No, but I can easily make it one if you'd like.

Just give me the punchline, okay?

Okay, but it won't make any sense.

Flight reservation.

What about them?

See, I told you. Joanna, just... Okay, okay.

The senator's secretary in San Diego made reservations before Tina was even

missing.

Before?

Yes. Kind of weird, don't you think?

Yeah, very weird.

Senator Cobb's reservations to Puerto Vallarta were made two days before Tina

even disappeared.

Which was two days before Brett and Tina even arrived, right?

Mm -hmm.

Son of a gun.

He must have found out they were eloping and planned to fly down and stop the

wedding. Yeah, but why didn't he?

I mean, what changed his mind?

Good question.

I want to plan on asking him next time I see him.

I never thought her tear could smell so good.

Sorry, but you have to be locked up.

The guard know.

He make me... I know. I know it's not your fault, Ernesto.

You've been very kind to me, and I appreciate it.

If you let me go, I'll tell my father how nice you've been.

He's a very generous man. He'll give you a lot of money if you...

I thought I told you to keep her inside.

Yes, but she wants... Next time, just do as I say. You got it? Okay, okay. You

didn't have to hit him. Shut up.

What's the big deal? I just wanted some fresh air.

I don't care what you wanted.

You might be getting your way with dear daddy.

Your little dimples, they don't mean nothing to me.

Now go back inside and shut your face up.

You got it?

Ernesto, we got a change of plans.

Like what?

Like we're kidnapping her for real.

Are you loco?

Yes, man. I am one million dollars loco.

That's the price a senator is going to have to pay if he wants his precious

little daughter back alive.

No, I... I'm not... What do you mean, no?

I'm no kidnapper.

Not for real.

You sure about that?

Very sure.

You won't change your mind?

Never.

God, man.

That's too bad.

Where's Ernesto?

Ever heard of Pancho Villa?

The Mexican revolutionary?

We just joined his gang.

Pontovia's dead.

Well, you are a bright girl.

And if you don't want to hook up with him, you are going to keep your pretty

little faith shut.

And you do exactly what I tell you.

You got that?

It's done, amigos.

Meet me at the shack.

Hey, you buy t -shirt? No.

No?

Okay.

Hey,

you buy t -shirt?

I sell you cheap.

No, thank you. Maybe I'll buy one for my sister.

She's always nagging me to send her something.

Oh, well, just take them all.

My treat.

Hey, I get the words, huh?

Give me that.

What are you doing here, man?

Are you crazy?

Do you want the cops to shoot you? Anything would be better than being

in a shack.

Besides, no one will recognize me. I mean, you didn't.

Here's someone who will.

Hey, uh...

Senator,

we just had a bill vetoed. Look, aren't you Tommy, a friend of Brent?

Yeah. Look, do you have a VCR?

I do.

I want you people to watch this.

Daddy, please help me. If you don't, they'll kill me.

New deal, Senator.

One million American dollars in cash, or I will blow your little baby's brains

out. One more thing.

Well, at least now we've made contact with the kidnappers.

Start. More like an end.

Senator, I know how you feel.

At least I would if Tina were my daughter, but... You gotta think

Tell me bright.

We'll get her back no matter what you think.

Look, all of this is my fault.

Why do you say that?

Hey, look.

He knows something that we don't. Does this have anything to do with why you

reserved a flight down here before Tina was kidnapped?

You want to tell us about it?

You see, I'm the one that had Tina kidnapped in the first place.

I knew... I couldn't stop Tina from marrying you, at least not by ordering

not to. So I had to find another way.

Even if it meant scaring the past off her? Look, I was desperate.

I couldn't think of any other way short of having you murdered.

Thanks for nothing.

Look, regardless of what you might think of me, all of you, I did what I thought

was best for my daughter. Best for you, you mean.

You know, you and people like you make me sick.

You're so used to power trips.

To ruling other people's lives. That it never dawns on you that everyone has the

right to make their own choices.

To decide for themselves what they will do and will not do.

Well, that's easy for you to say.

But wait till you have a child of your own.

A person that you love more than life itself.

And you're about to see her throw her life away.

Then, then you'll feel differently. Believe me.

That's a cop -out, and you know it.

Cat's right.

Millions of parents don't like what their kids are doing or going to do.

But they don't try to kidnap them.

There's something I don't understand.

How did you think Tina would feel when she found out later what you'd done?

I mean, do you really think she'd forgive you?

I wasn't even intending to tell her. I felt that Brett here would just take off

once Tina was gone and he realized he couldn't get the money.

When are you going to get it through your fat head that I was never after her

money?

Then I was going to pretend to pay the ransom and let Tina think that the man

she loved had run out.

That's it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, man. I want to whack out this bastard

too, but it's not going to get Tina back.

Now listen, these guys you paid to take your daughter away, where'd they stash

her away? Do you know?

No, no, no.

I'll just have to pay the ransom.

and hope and pray to God that the kidnappers will keep their word and

little Tina safely.

I wouldn't count on that, Senator.

Better you let us try and find her first.

Well, how do you intend to do that?

I mean, you haven't been able to find her up to now. Up to now, we didn't have

the videotape.

Got something?

Maybe.

When I roll the tape and she starts talking, listen to the background noise.

See if you can identify anything.

Daddy, please help me. If you don't, they'll kill me.

Your deal, Senator.

One million American dollars cash, or I will blow your spoil.

Hear anything familiar?

Did I hear the sound of a surf?

You did. So, she's somewhere near the beach.

Except it doesn't do us much good, because there are miles and miles of

Yeah, but only one is in the flight pattern.

Here, I'll block out everything but that.

The airport.

Bingo. Joanna, you're a genius.

About time certain people around here realized that.

And out.

Surround the place.

As soon as we're all in position, I'll move in and find out how many of them

there are.

What's that on there?

Oh, I knew that Navy SEAL training would come in handy someday.

Get out of here. The closest you ever came to a SEAL was cleaning up a tank at

SeaWorld.

What would a Puerto Vallarta cab driver know about SeaWorld?

I can see now why the coalition decides to shut down a capitol heat.

If we're all through with our David Letterman routine, could we get on with

this? Aye, Captain Bligh.

Do it.

There I'm done

Go away from me.

You want me to call Delgado?

No, don't go, no!

You do that again, you stupid bastard, and I'm going to shoot your cojones off.

How'd you guys find me?

Uh, thank Aeromexico for that.

And Joanna.

Thank God you're safe.

There's no safe like this.

There is now.

Look at that.

Isn't it great?

Well, nice to look at.

I know it feels good.

But great's depending on who you are wrapped up.

Just because your wrappings are as interchangeable as your truck... Doesn't

it isn't great for them.

They're getting married.

They're going to be together.

They're going to start a family. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think my uncle would agree with you.

You have an uncle?

That's right.

Yeah, yeah.

You're not the only famous uncle that's about our hometown.

What was he famous for?

Eating.

That doesn't make him smart.

Hey, the amount of food he ate?

He had to be brilliant to pay for it.

He wants a 41 hot dog in one sitting.

My uncle Leon ate 72 pancakes.

With mustard, relish, and onion.

Maple syrup and butter.

And bun.

With sausage patty. Four quarts of beer.

Two gallons of cider.

I don't believe you.

get through those difficult times when you needed that little something extra.

What do you think about that?

That's cool.

Were you telling the truth?

Mostly.

Me too.

That's pretty close enough.

I can tell you that I think it's great about Brett and Tina.

I can tell you about my uncle.

Brett's going to miss you guys so much. Now I know why.

I don't know how to thank you guys.

Me neither. And that goes triple for me.

And don't try.

I want you guys to just send us some photos of the wedding. Okay.

Here.

Okay, I'll see you two at the gate.

Think you'll ever forgive your future in -law?

I honestly don't know.

It's going to take a lot of work on all our parts.

And time.

But hopefully going home and having the wedding there will be a start. You'll

work it out. Sure.

Thanks. And don't be a stranger, you.

I promise.

Thanks again for everything.

Adios, amigo.

There.

Always. Thanks.

I got a note.

Don't you like me?

I do like you. Why don't you go to Mexico City with me?

Truth? Yeah.

I'm engaged.

Get out. To who?

Now, you see, I knew it.

You were putting me on, weren't you?

No. Well, then to who, then?

His name is Black.

Zach? Who the hell is Zach?

Jonah's favorite uncle.

He's a wonderful man.

He builds pyramids out of nut power.

I thought that was Uncle Eli!

Thank you.