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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,802 Aaahh! 2 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,804 Hack! Hack! Hack! 3 00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,066 Help! Ah! Hel- 4 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,199 Hey, wait, Dan?! 5 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,244 You're probably wondering why I'm wearing face 6 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:30,334 paint and attacking you with a plastic toy hatchet. 7 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:31,814 Oh, is it 8 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,207 "Put-on-face paint-and attack- your-best-friend -with-a 9 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,599 hatchet Day" already? 10 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:38,299 That's not until January. It's "DismemberFest!" 11 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,606 Ahh, the horror film festival. 12 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:42,999 You got it! 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,436 "Slasher Cats" starts at noon tomorrow, followed by 14 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,177 "Eek the Murderer." 15 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,049 I can't go this year, Dan. 16 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,312 Elise's parents are taking us on a camping trip. 17 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,227 You have got to be kidding me. 18 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,185 Hey, I'm not happy about it either. 19 00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:58,145 Although I must admit I don't like those movies anyway. 20 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:02,323 But it's no fun to go to slasher movies by myself! 21 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,934 Sorry, but I have an opportunity to finally get 22 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,892 Don and Elise Sr. to like me. 23 00:01:06,936 --> 00:01:10,287 When are you going to learn? They're your in-laws. 24 00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:14,117 Natural enemies. Like... sharks and robots. 25 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,250 Anyway, we're going up to Lake Sequester 26 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,120 for the weekend, and- 27 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,166 Whoa, whoa. Where? 28 00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,732 Lake Sequester. 29 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,996 Oh, you won't go to slasher movies, but you'll go there? 30 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,346 Sure, why not? 31 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,999 Are you kidding me? 32 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:34,094 It's where the Hockey Mask Maniac ran amok ten years ago! 33 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:38,837 It's the basis for the goriest, bloodiest, most iconic slasher 34 00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:40,230 movie of them all; 35 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:44,930 "The Campground Chainsaw Unpleasantness." 36 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,149 Okay, you should go now. 37 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,369 Well, I'm not leaving until you agree to - 38 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:52,634 Hey! Let me go! Unhand me, I say! 39 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:55,202 I'm going on the family camping trip, Dan. 40 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:59,336 And that's final. 41 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:04,036 FAMILY CAMPING TRIP! 42 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,656 What do you mean you can't mail order killer bees?! 43 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,571 I need killer bees! 44 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,007 You send me- 45 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,226 Hold on. 46 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:19,922 Hey, Dan. 47 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,576 Oh, Chris. Good. 48 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,055 Have you come to your senses? 49 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:25,623 I'm still going camping, if that's what you mean. 50 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:26,842 Hey, that reminds me. 51 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,584 What food allergies do Elise's parents have? 52 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:32,195 You're not going to ruin the camping trip, Dan. 53 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,718 Says you. 54 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,633 Also, I would like you to stop sending me creepy emails 55 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,592 about the Hockey Mask Maniac. 56 00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:40,638 They're not creepy, they're factual news articles. 57 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,772 What about the clips you keep sending me from scary movies? 58 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,252 Based on true stories! 59 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,428 You know I don't do well with this stuff. 60 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,560 I saw "The Campground Chainsaw Unpleasantness" 61 00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:51,736 as a kid and it scared the heck out of me. 62 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,999 Completely ruined the entire genre. 63 00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:57,351 You know, Chris, if you don't push through, 64 00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:01,485 you're never going to get desensitized. 65 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,749 Where was I? 66 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:07,404 Oh, yeah, right, killer bees... 67 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,015 My folks are here. 68 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:10,842 They are? 69 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,714 They're three hours early. 70 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,846 Welcome to my world. 71 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,239 Wow, look at that. 72 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,980 When's the last time someone watered this grass? 73 00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:21,288 Mom! Dad! You're early! 74 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,246 Yeah, we made good time from Vegas. 75 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,204 Fun drive. 76 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:26,249 I never saw so much desert. 77 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,338 Until we took a look at your lawn, Junior. 78 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:29,296 Mom... 79 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,515 Hey, Mom, welcome back. 80 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,169 Uh, what. Wait, we're hugging now? 81 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:37,695 I--I guess not. 82 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:38,566 No, that's fine. Give me a hug. 83 00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,132 I... don't want to anymore. 84 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:47,662 Chris, give my mom a hug. 85 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:50,969 Uh, heh heh, no, uh, hug for me, thanks. 86 00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,493 Are you all ready to go? 87 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,059 I haven't finished packing yet. 88 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,105 Why don't we go inside and have some iced tea? 89 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,890 They hate me. 90 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:01,328 They don't hate you. 91 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:04,461 Okay, they kind of hate you. But it's not your fault. 92 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,855 They haven't liked anybody I've ever dated. 93 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,900 Except Colby. 94 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,033 Well, sure, him... 95 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,907 Take your time, Chris! 96 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,474 Whenever you're ready! 97 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,389 Dad, knock it off! 98 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:24,525 Oh, I'm just kidding with him. It's kind of our thing. 99 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:40,410 Waaa! 100 00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,977 Perfect timing! 101 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,284 If we leave now, we can still catch "Stabbo the Clown." 102 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,373 Now climb out the window and let's go. 103 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:47,852 I am not going with you. 104 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:50,072 I am going to Lake Sequester- 105 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,770 to be hunted by a chainsaw wielding maniac. 106 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:54,816 They caught him years ago! 107 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,731 Or so they think. 108 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,907 You're just trying to give me nightmares. 109 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:03,128 Look, this whole insane quest of yours is pointless. 110 00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:05,957 Your in-laws will never respect you. 111 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,872 I have to try. 112 00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,700 I just hate to see you expending such an 113 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,180 enormous amount of effort in what is 114 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,964 ultimately a futile pursuit. 115 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,053 It's not healthy. 116 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,229 Have a good weekend, Dan. 117 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,101 Ahhhhh! 118 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,366 So - this should be a good time of year 119 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,412 to spot bears. 120 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:28,937 Isn't spotting bears a bad thing when you're camping? 121 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,287 Don't tell me you're scared of bears. 122 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,550 Uh, I am, actually. 123 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:37,119 Generally speaking, I'm afraid of anything that can eat me. 124 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:39,774 Bears, sharks, cannibals... 125 00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:42,559 Stop worrying about bears. We've just got to make sure we 126 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,431 hang our food from a tree every night. 127 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:47,564 If you think you can make it ten hours without a snack. 128 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:49,523 They're "tagging" the bears this summer. 129 00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,176 Like, spray-painting them? 130 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:52,569 That seems mean. 131 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:55,659 No, they're luring them in with artificial hormones 132 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,792 and fitting them with radio transponders. 133 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,098 It's to track their migratory patterns. 134 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,578 Ah. 135 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:04,189 Speaking of feral creatures, 136 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:05,800 how's your friend Dan? 137 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,759 The trick to any successful campaign, Mr. Mumbles, 138 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,935 is the element of surprise. 139 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:11,980 Mrow. 140 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:15,200 I think it was Sun Tzu who said- 141 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:21,642 I only ask, because he seems to be following us. 142 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,034 Aww, you have got to be kidding me. 143 00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:26,821 I'll handle this. 144 00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:28,257 What was that?! 145 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,563 Are you trying to kill me?! 146 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,129 Don't tempt me. 147 00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:33,305 What are you doing here? 148 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:36,265 Obviously, I'm sneaking up on you. 149 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:39,573 Just give me what is rightfully mine, and I'll go. 150 00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,009 What do you want, exactly? 151 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,053 Chris. 152 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,794 I don't know, sounds reasonable. 153 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:44,708 Don, stop it. 154 00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:46,536 We are not giving him Chris. 155 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,365 Even if we'd like to. 156 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,846 Dan, this really is unacceptable. 157 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,456 It's all your fault. 158 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,371 This is not my fault! 159 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,068 It's kind of your fault. 160 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,505 He's your friend. 161 00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:01,029 If you would just come with me to DismemberFest... 162 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:02,334 Okay, let's go. 163 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,119 Dan, you are not invited on this camping trip. 164 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,294 Don't follow us. 165 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:06,687 You're not the boss of me, lady. 166 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,036 I go where I please-- 167 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,386 Hey! Is that my car battery? 168 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:15,260 I'll put you on the list! I'll put ALL OF YOU on the list! 169 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,532 Well, that's reassuring. 170 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:35,280 Nothing like nature, huh Chris? 171 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,804 No, sir. 172 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:41,548 I mean, we're so far away from civilization, anything 173 00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,680 could happen out here. 174 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,899 Anything. 175 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,902 And the nearest help's not for miles. 176 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:51,906 That's... yeah. 177 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,516 Heh - How's that fire coming? 178 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,822 You guys know they invented something a 179 00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,171 couple of hundred of years ago? 180 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,955 They're called "matches." 181 00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,436 If you can't make fire with nothing but wood and 182 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,787 some elbow grease, you're not a real man. 183 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,529 Like Chris here. 184 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,661 Have it your way. 185 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,010 I was going to walk down to the stream. 186 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,185 Care to join me? 187 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:14,494 Love to. 188 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:22,110 ...nearest help's not for miles... 189 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:25,113 Just think, Mr. Mumbles, these are the very same woods where 190 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:32,381 the Hockey Mask Maniac - wait, who's that? 191 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,567 Whaaaa! 192 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:47,265 Can I help you with that? 193 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,311 Im sorry, didn't mean to scare you. 194 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,269 Who are you?! 195 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:52,227 Chris, are you okay? 196 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:55,360 I heard you scream----Colby? 197 00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:56,884 Hi, beautiful. 198 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,364 Colby?! 199 00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:04,369 See? Just takes a little elbow grease. 200 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,284 Uh huh. 201 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,330 I can't believe you invited Colby on our 202 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:09,897 family camping trip. 203 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:13,378 Why not? He's the closest thing I have to a son. 204 00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,119 What about Ben? 205 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:15,642 Who? 206 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:16,904 Our son. 207 00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,384 And why didn't you tell me Colby was coming? 208 00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:22,344 I didn't want to ruin the surprise. 209 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,476 I don't recognize that guy with Chris. 210 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:25,913 Mrow. 211 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,784 Yeah, you're right about that, Mr. Mumbles. 212 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,657 Whoever he is, he sure is dreamy. 213 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,745 Mrow. 214 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,181 No matter. 215 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,487 We'll ruin the camping trip for everyone, then take 216 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:39,100 Chris to the movies with us. So how do we do it? 217 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,623 Meow. 218 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:45,889 I know you're hungry Mr. Mumbles, but- Ahhhhh. 219 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:50,981 You know, you're pretty smart for a kitty. 220 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:55,812 Let's see how much fun they have camping without food. 221 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,515 That's when I knew I was the only one at the zoo 222 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,343 who could handle the problem. 223 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,084 How big was the gorilla? 224 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,696 Mid-size. About three hundred forty pounds. 225 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:13,003 And you wrestled it back in its's cage all by yourself. 226 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,744 That's my boy! 227 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:17,878 Hey, anyone mind if I find out how the game's going? 228 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:20,315 ...leaving Washington with a 229 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:22,665 commanding lead going into the seventh-inning stretch. 230 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,494 In breaking news, a fire at the Corbin State Prison for the 231 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:28,410 Criminally Insane was the opportunity several inmates 232 00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,890 needed to escape... 233 00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,021 That's the prison where they were holding the 234 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,544 Hockey Mask Maniac. 235 00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,503 I read an article about him this morning. 236 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,418 ...while details are fuzzy at this time, 237 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,768 several inmates are unaccounted for, including, 238 00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,814 most notably- 239 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,207 Uh, Don? Did you hear that? 240 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,253 Washington ahead, yeah, I heard it. 241 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,950 He means the jailbreak. 242 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,343 We should probably get out of here. 243 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,692 It's not safe. 244 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,216 Oh, Chris, don't be such a worrywart. 245 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:55,132 There's a lunatic out there, and you want to stay here and camp? 246 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,526 Have you never seen a horror movie?! 247 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:01,312 Honestly, the way you carry on sometimes, you'd think-. 248 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:05,752 Ooh! 249 00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:09,233 Someone's in the woods. 250 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,366 I'm sure it's nothing. 251 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,411 Stay here. I'll go check it out. 252 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:16,284 No, don't! It's the Maniac! 253 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:18,460 If it's a bear, take a picture! 254 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,810 You got it, Mom! 255 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,598 What do you think you're doing? 256 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:32,169 Ah! Dreamboat! Mr. Mumbles, attack! 257 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,736 Meow. 258 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,478 Fine. I'll do it myself. 259 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:40,612 Aaaahhhh! Ow! Ah! Ow! 260 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,092 What's happening?! 261 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,224 I'll go see if he needs help. 262 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,486 No, wait! 263 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:47,010 That's just what the Maniac wants you to do! 264 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,404 Taken care of, folks. 265 00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:50,622 What happened? 266 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,407 Ah, somebody was trying to steal our food. 267 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,930 I chased him off. 268 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:56,672 Ha-Hah! That's my boy! 269 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,456 Wait, what did he look like? 270 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:02,112 Uh, little guy, wearing a T-shirt that said "Jerk" on it. 271 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,766 Of course. Dan. 272 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,552 What stupid stunt is he trying to pull now? 273 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:15,604 He's not just dreamy, he's got the strength of ten men! 274 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,215 And was it just me, or were his eyes even more 275 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,348 captivating close up? 276 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:23,394 I think he won the fight because I got lost in them. 277 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:25,266 Mrow. 278 00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:28,617 Yeah, all right, we've ruled out a direct assault. 279 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,098 And, by the way, thank you for doing nothing while 280 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,664 I was getting beaten up. 281 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:38,061 Mrow. 282 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:42,457 Ng'aw, I can't stay mad at you. 283 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,067 And did you hear that thing on the radio 284 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,677 about the prison break? 285 00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:50,160 For all anyone knows, the Hockey Mask Maniac is on the loose. 286 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:53,163 Which gives me an idea... 287 00:12:55,122 --> 00:13:02,303 Okay, this'll just take a second... 288 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,522 That's strange. 289 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:05,393 Oh, well. 290 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,570 Gift horse and all that. 291 00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:12,792 First stop, sporting goods. 292 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,143 Next, landscaping supplies. 293 00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,275 No chainsaw? 294 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:21,844 Why doesn't anything ever go right for me? 295 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,020 Mrow. 296 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:28,851 Was that sarcasm, Mr. Mumbles? I guess this'll have to do. 297 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:32,072 Just need some overalls and we're done. 298 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:33,508 Okay, scary story time. 299 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:34,944 Who wants to go first? 300 00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,337 Why don't you, dear? 301 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,122 I love spooky stories. 302 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,951 Mmmmm. Me, too. 303 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:46,738 All right. This is the story of the Hockey Mask Maniac... 304 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:51,569 About ten years ago, in these very woods... 305 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:58,011 Ah! Bleugh! Pthh! Pthh! 306 00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,491 Stupid Spiderman... 307 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,016 And, as they dragged him away to prison, he screamed... 308 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:08,978 "I'll be back someday! My bloody work is not yet done!" 309 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,675 It's just a story. 310 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,200 Except that it's not. 311 00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,680 Here we go! 312 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:19,771 Rraaarrhhh! 313 00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,252 All shall perish! 314 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:26,300 Rraaarrhh! 315 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:26,909 Whoops. 316 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,041 Wrong campsite. 317 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,695 Uh, it's okay, kids! 318 00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,175 You can come back now! 319 00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,569 No maniacs here! 320 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,790 What? I got turned around in the woods. 321 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:45,667 It happens. 322 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,929 Oh, bears are 323 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,585 your friends, I said bears are your friends. 324 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:53,457 Maybe they're not the kind of friends who can loan you 325 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,024 twenty bucks, but... 326 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,504 ...bears are your 327 00:14:56,547 --> 00:15:00,203 friends, 328 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:00,900 oh oh... 329 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:07,384 Gotcha, bear friend! 330 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:09,299 Uh, friend? 331 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:15,218 Let me get those for you, Elise. 332 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,916 He still likes you. 333 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,831 Of course he does. I'm awesome. 334 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,747 But I like you. 335 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,315 We've had multiple sightings of the Hockey Mask Maniac. 336 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,752 We need you to clear these woods immediately. 337 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:28,971 Sorry Commodore, 338 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,408 but I have, like, many more bears to tag. 339 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,975 Can't you guys do something? 340 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,455 Afraid not. 341 00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:36,631 Every man I've got is up in a tree with a sniper rifle 342 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,286 itching to shoot a hole in the first hockey mask they see. 343 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:45,031 Huh. Maybe not the best time to be dressed as the maniac. 344 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,686 Just make sure everyone evacuates the campgrounds. 345 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:49,774 You can count on me, sir. 346 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:50,906 I'll get right on it. 347 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,474 Thank you, son. 348 00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:58,740 As soon as I'm done tagging these Bears. Tee-hee. 349 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,481 Bears... 350 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,705 Once I douse the family tents in these hormones, they'll 351 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,882 attract so many bears looking for mates that they won't be 352 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,406 able to camp! 353 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:15,235 Then Chris and I can catch the end of the slasher movie 354 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:16,714 festi-whoop! 355 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:22,720 Augh! Pthh! Eww! Gross! 356 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:31,512 Well, that's a waste of- 357 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,817 Oh no. 358 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,618 Well, that was completely unpleasant. 359 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,055 And where were you when I was being attacked by a 360 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,492 bear who thought I was her mate? 361 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,625 That is the second time in as many days that you've 362 00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:04,240 abandoned me in my time of need. 363 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:08,505 Aww... Forgiven. 364 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,769 Uh, hey folks... We've gotten reports that the 365 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,729 Hockey Mask Maniac is running around here somewhere. 366 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,732 It's important for your safety that you leave immediately. 367 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:21,649 I would have told you last night but I forgot. 368 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:23,433 Sound like Dan to anyone else? 369 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:27,655 Yeah, we're pretty sure it's not the Hockey Mask Maniac. 370 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:30,092 Shouldn't we go, just to be safe? 371 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,094 Yeah, you probably should. 372 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,748 Well, we're not. 373 00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:37,099 In that case, I have some forms for you to fill out, 374 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,579 acknowledging that the Park Service 375 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,624 will not be held responsible if you all 376 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,452 meet a grisly fate. 377 00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,976 Or a grizzly bear. 378 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,543 Mrow. 379 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,719 I know, but it's the only set of clothes I have nearby. 380 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,810 All units. Repeat: All units, Hockey Mask maniac 381 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:53,768 sighted near the river. 382 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,422 All units proceed to... 383 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,119 Come on, Officer Puddles. 384 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,469 Dispatch said this way. 385 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,992 Did you hear that? 386 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,126 With the cops gone, we can finally get back to plan A. 387 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,214 Mrow. 388 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,650 I know, Mr. Mumbles. 389 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,175 I'll get you a hockey mask for next time. 390 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:10,872 Mrow? 391 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:11,873 Promise. 392 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,532 Look, maybe I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be better 393 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,622 to cut the trip short, just in case- 394 00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:22,797 Rrraaarrhh! 395 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,581 Whaa! 396 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,539 Scary! 397 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,149 We know it's you, Dan. 398 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,890 What? It is not. 399 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,239 We recognize your voice. 400 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,894 Besides, the Hockey Mask Maniac uses a chainsaw, 401 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,201 not a weed whacker. 402 00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:36,332 I know that! 403 00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:38,856 But- The store was out of chainsaws. 404 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:42,817 Plus, the real Maniac is supposed to be seven feet tall. 405 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,994 Like... him. 406 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,256 Oh no. 407 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,868 Who are you supposed to be? 408 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,653 Dan! Run! 409 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:53,523 Oh, thanks! 410 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:56,178 Hadn't thought of that! 411 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,707 We should probably go. 412 00:19:03,751 --> 00:19:08,147 Uh huh. 413 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,757 Mom! Dad! 414 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,932 Elise, no! You can't help them! 415 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,194 Let me go! 416 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,676 I can't let you endanger your-ow! 417 00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:24,424 Any chance we can talk this out? 418 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:27,296 It's been a good life, I guess. 419 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,776 Hey, ugly! 420 00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,779 Why don't you pick on someone your own crazy?! 421 00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:41,180 Ah! Oof! 422 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:42,790 Jerk... 423 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,844 Are you taking pictures?! 424 00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:56,673 Uh, yeah. When will I ever see this again? 425 00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:57,761 Fair enough. 426 00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:02,766 Again? You get rid of a Hockey Mask Maniac, then 427 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,725 you have to deal with a bear. 428 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:05,856 Typical. 429 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,641 Hey, anyone see a bear come through - 430 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:13,386 Oh, there she is. Gotcha, bear! 431 00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,778 Oh, and the Maniac. 432 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,867 Cool. 433 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,304 Don't you worry folks. 434 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:21,568 That's the last you'll see of the Hockey Mask Maniac. 435 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:22,525 Unless he escapes again. 436 00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:26,529 But what are the odds of that? 437 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,227 Well, this has been fun. 438 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,837 You didn't have to hit me. 439 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,404 I think I did. 440 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,058 What I don't get is, why did that bear attack the Maniac? 441 00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:36,278 Because she was protecting her mate! 442 00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:37,671 What was that? 443 00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:40,108 I said, "She thought she was protecting her mate," 444 00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:40,848 okay?! 445 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:41,892 Huh? 446 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,764 I don't want to talk about it. 447 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,897 Well, our supplies are gone and our tents are ruined. 448 00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:49,900 Looks like we'll have to cut this trip short. 449 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:52,120 Oh, thank goodness. 450 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:55,863 I guess there's still time to catch the end of DismemberFest. 451 00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:58,082 Nah, I think I'm pretty burned out on slasher films 452 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,693 for a while. 453 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:02,348 Plus, I'd like to go home and wash the bear hormones off. 454 00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:05,960 Come on, Mr. Mumbles. 455 00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:07,614 Chris, you put yourself in harm's way 456 00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,311 to try and protect us. 457 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:12,009 Oh, yeah, I guess I did. 458 00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,098 I know we've been hard on you from time to time, 459 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:17,058 but you really showed your true colors today. 460 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,712 Don, give Chris a hug. 461 00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:19,582 What? 462 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:21,889 That's really not necessary- 463 00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,282 NOW. 464 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,892 Oh, ho, ho, 465 00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:26,328 I'll get you for this. 466 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:31,115 Uh, Don? You're... squeezing me too hard. 467 00:21:31,159 --> 00:21:33,335 He doesn't hug me like that... 468 00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:37,379 Well, let's go home. 32523

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